Rude duck

BAM225 · 2012-10-15T20:24:52+00:00

“Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they informed me that they could not do that, like there was some special rule at Subway that two pieces of bread weren't allowed to touch. So the woman asked me what I wanted on the sandwich and I said I do not care it is for a duck, and she was like oh then it's free. I was not aware that ducks eat for free at Subway. It's like give me a chicken fajita sub, but don't worry about ringing it up, it is for a duck."

NorthernDen · 2012-10-15T20:17:23+00:00

Finally a picture I can comment on. The one on top is a female duck, and the bottom on is a younger male duck. This makes sense since the male duck is the one who has to drive. And the breed is muscovy duck, good eatin.

Edit: I raised these type of ducks for about 15 years, so I can identify the gender most times by sight. Don't ask how I find out if I can't tell by sight.

molotovsoup · 2012-10-15T20:54:04+00:00

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title	comnts	points	age	/r/
this duck is the 1%	4^coms	45^pts	1^yr	funny
Bourgeois duck stays afloat.	12^coms	110^pts	1^yr	reddit.com
Bourgeois duck stays afloat.	139^coms	1074^pts	1^yr	funny
No ducks were given that day.	0^coms	13^pts	2^mos	pics

source: karmadecay

drofdar62 · 2012-10-15T19:02:00+00:00

That's pretty fowl.

ktotheooter · 2012-10-15T20:16:33+00:00

Fun Fact: Ducks LOVE rape.

duckwater · 2012-10-15T20:28:38+00:00

The other duck should've ducked.

Yogi_the_duck · 2012-10-15T20:50:57+00:00

As a duck I can confirm, fuck that duck.

justme8800 · 2012-10-15T20:05:18+00:00

The story of our species; "fuck you, other human."

Ulsul · 2012-10-15T22:11:24+00:00

Paul glanced at Halleck, took in the defensive positions of his guards, looked at the banker until the man lowered the water flagon. He said: “Once, on Caladan, I saw the body of a drowned fisherman recovered. He–”

”Drowned?” It was the stillsuit manufacturer’s daughter.

Paul hesitated, then: “Yes. Immersed in water until dead. Drowned.”

”What an interesting way to die,” she murmured.

Paul’s smile became brittle. He returned his attention to the banker. “The interesting thing about this man was the wounds on his shoulders–made by another fisherman’s claw-boots. This fisherman was one of several in a boat–a craft for traveling on water–that foundered . . . sank beneath the water. Another fisherman helping recover the body said he’d seen marks like this man’s wounds several times. They meant another drowning fisherman had tried to stand on this poor fellow’s shoulders in the attempt to reach up to the surface–to reach air.”

”Why is this interesting?” the banker asked.

”Because of an observation made by my father at the time. He said the drowning man who climbs on your shoulders to save himself is understandable– except when you see it happen in the drawing room.” Paul hesitated just long enough for the banker to see the point coming, then: “And, I should add, except when you see it at the duck pond.”

A sudden stillness enfolded the room.

uwjacob · 2012-10-16T00:39:08+00:00

aculy is dolan

SKSTeam · 2012-10-15T21:45:43+00:00

Come here, rude duck, duck; can you get it up?

Come here rude duck, duck; is you big enough?

Take it, take it baby, baby

Take it, take it; love me, love me

SmilinBob82 · 2012-10-15T20:20:33+00:00

The swimming duck is a Muscovy, those are some of the meanest and(usually) ugliest ducks around. They don't look so bad when they are pure white like this. They are all over south Florida

philmccraken · 2012-10-15T21:07:07+00:00

That Bird probably has a wallet that says bad motherducker on it....throw me a bone will yah?

aon_m · 2012-10-15T21:23:51+00:00

muscovy ducks are assholes

parachuge · 2012-10-15T21:53:58+00:00

This is a great piece about the futility of war.

ChrisQF · 2012-10-15T22:00:06+00:00

wut?

SilentSacrifice · 2012-10-15T22:07:29+00:00

Just when you thought ducks couldn't be any more versatile. Boat, Airplane, Automobile, Submarine, and, now, Island.

TheMahatma · 2012-10-15T22:23:06+00:00

...and then the duck stung the other duck:

"Why did you do that? Now we both will die!"

"I could not help myself. It is my nature."

ajayz · 2012-10-15T22:39:16+00:00

TIL ducks are so freakin' buoyant, one can support the weight of itself and an ENTIRE other duck.

curryisforGs · 2012-10-15T22:42:01+00:00

AFLACK.

illDogg · 2012-10-15T22:55:32+00:00

Regards, Dolan.

MrLittleDuck · 2012-10-15T23:01:40+00:00

GET OFF ME!

Dollarama · 2012-10-15T23:02:18+00:00

He ain't even mad

5kToSelfDestruction · 2012-10-15T23:11:09+00:00

Doesn't belong in /r/funny I blocked the other shitty subs for a reason.

Hstfan · 2012-10-15T23:14:36+00:00

that's some duck on duck action

Iggyhopper · 2012-10-15T23:21:48+00:00

Duck, what are you doing? You are not a boat.

AOEUD · 2012-10-15T23:23:31+00:00

There is a fetish for being stood on...

HakuTheGrey · 2012-10-15T23:45:42+00:00

ruda kaczka

freedumb23 · 2012-10-15T23:46:09+00:00

Well that was some fowl language...

WutsUp · 2012-10-15T23:51:16+00:00

No ducks were given that day.

football_sucks · 2012-10-15T23:56:15+00:00

I don't know what I expected...

Nodebunny · 2012-10-16T00:05:49+00:00

Um, thats how birds have sex... Literally

EmployedbyInitech · 2012-10-16T00:06:10+00:00

Come on rude duck if youre big enough.

T3HR4G3 · 2012-10-16T00:11:44+00:00

Come on rude duck, duck Can you get it up Come here rude duck, duck Is you big enough Take it, take it Duck, baby. Take it, take it Love me, love me

Come here rude duck, duck Can you get it up Come here rude duck, duck Is you big enough Take it, take it Duck, baby. Take it, take it Love me, love me

T25Bomb · 2012-10-16T00:11:57+00:00

I once came through the parking lot of an Ace Hardware and very politely asked a duck if they were still open and, get this, he just turned away and tried to ignore me while quacking to himself. Talk about a rude duck.

EmployedbyInitech · 2012-10-16T00:12:37+00:00

Come on rude duck if youre big enough.

studl33 · 2012-10-16T00:13:13+00:00

Friendzoned.

Trentos · 2012-10-16T00:22:35+00:00

Odd... that's a white duck he is riding on...

ShakaUVM · 2012-10-16T00:25:49+00:00

I always wondered what happened to that baby duck I saw a year ago: http://i.imgur.com/tNBLE.jpg

ikol · 2012-10-16T00:28:55+00:00

The bottom one is just working out and liftin so he can grow up to be a horse sized duck.

kju · 2012-10-16T00:29:07+00:00

wallstreet duck doesnt know what all the other ducks are so angry about

Maxtrix07 · 2012-10-16T00:34:51+00:00

Which duck is saying, "fuck you, other duck?"

SlippyC57 · 2012-10-16T00:39:10+00:00

Since when does the brown one end up on top of the white one? Photoshopped.

nooby_dooby_doo · 2012-10-16T00:47:11+00:00

Something similar was on jeopardy tonight.

deejayblast4me · 2012-10-16T00:52:34+00:00

that was duckin awesome

Dradshire · 2012-10-16T01:11:04+00:00

DuckZoned

Ducksen · 2012-10-16T01:13:36+00:00

This picture is rude to my kind...

Tipasi · 2012-10-16T01:21:45+00:00

Ducks are dicks

gregny2002 · 2012-10-16T01:23:56+00:00

Man, ducks are super buoyant.

Able_Seacat_Simon · 2012-10-16T01:51:44+00:00

Here it is without the caption, if you care about that sort of thing.

factoid_ · 2012-10-16T02:18:48+00:00

Precursor to duck rape. It's a thing. Look it up.

freindo · 2012-10-16T02:20:11+00:00

I hope the white duck billed him for the ride.

zmansman17 · 2012-10-16T02:20:25+00:00

Somehow, Someway, YOLO seems appropriate here..

ManWithMilk · 2012-10-16T02:33:17+00:00

Birds in general don't give a fuck

youdontknowiknowyou · 2012-10-16T02:55:09+00:00

If you zoom in on the white ducks face it has a look of pure horror

HarrumphingDuck · 2012-10-16T03:00:24+00:00

I blame the parents.

binermoots · 2012-10-16T03:06:39+00:00

D U C K C E Psorry sorry. I'm trying to stop.

twoworldsin1 · 2012-10-16T03:29:08+00:00

Yeah, that's right, keep Whitey down.

SkytheDrop · 2012-10-16T03:41:16+00:00

It's like a reverse hate crime... for ducks...

turdferguson135 · 2012-10-16T04:00:23+00:00

This is so classy. May it return reddit to the glory days of quiet dignity. Truly a good laugh.

DoctorYuyi · 2012-10-16T04:02:00+00:00

My cat does this to me. When I'm petting him if I am in a position that allows him to, he will jump on my back and sit down..just purring away.

BMikasa · 2012-10-16T04:06:50+00:00

Ducks are fucking idiots.

Bedtime_4_Bonzo · 2012-10-16T04:07:25+00:00

That's just fowl.

fuinle · 2012-10-16T04:31:50+00:00

Ahhh, the noble Fulvous Whistling Duck, out for a spin on her loyal Muscovy steed.

sgrcltpunk · 2012-10-16T04:48:02+00:00

did anyone else read this as rude dick and expected something else?

Saaan · 2012-10-16T05:29:28+00:00

Dude duck held up traffic one night because his bitch duck was taking her sashaying sweet time crossing the street. Once together they jumped the curb and quacked up.

metalbladex4 · 2012-10-16T05:43:22+00:00

Duck rape

nooneushouldno · 2012-10-16T06:11:51+00:00

That's a goose mate. jeeze

fighting_mallard · 2012-10-16T06:19:44+00:00

dude don't take that shit.

NudgeMyNoodle · 2012-10-16T06:24:58+00:00

rud duck dont give a fuck

POLITE_ALLRAPS_GUY · 2012-10-16T06:38:45+00:00

RUDE DUCK, DON'T GIVE A FUCK, ON HIS FRIEND'S BACK. NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS, OR THAT NIGGA WILL QUACK. WORD.

thergrim · 2012-10-15T20:51:44+00:00

First he was a Boss.

Then he was Bourgeois.

He then became the 1%.

Now he is rude.

facepalminghomer · 2012-10-15T20:09:20+00:00

I could give a fuck about that other duck

andyso1978 · 2012-10-15T20:12:43+00:00

It's duck surfing

aon_m · 2012-10-15T21:24:39+00:00

Male Muscovy Ducks have spiralled penises which can become erect to 20 cm in one third of a second.

professorfox · 2012-10-15T19:04:29+00:00

Dolan, y u do dis?

Pony_Stanza · 2012-10-15T19:30:35+00:00

LaissezFaire.jpg

240mikex · 2012-10-15T20:26:24+00:00

im a duck hunter, and i want that band

ihaveyoloswag · 2012-10-15T20:58:45+00:00

Upvote if ya got as much swag as these ducks got

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