this post was submitted on
1,082 points (52% like it)
11,268 up votes 10,186 down votes

funny

subscribe2,604,329 readers

10,149 users here now

Please take our newest poll about facebook posts

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Diplominator 805 points806 points ago

This is not merely old. This is like, olde. Or possibly auld.

Still funny, though.

[–]boondoggie42 294 points295 points ago

before this was a repost, it was a chain email, before that a fax, before that it was probably run off on mimeograph machines and handed around the office.

[–]Diplominator 300 points301 points ago

Scratched into the walls of the Tower of London there's things like

"Aye hadd to cowes bot lost themme to Popery"

"CROMWELL'S COWWS ARE AN ABBOMMINATION INN THE EYYES OF GOD"

"Thye mother is an abomination in the eyyes of God"

[–]monkeedude1212 53 points54 points ago

"CROMWELL'S COWWS ARE AN ABBOMMINATION INN THE EYYES OF GOD"

Upvote for being able to cite a prisoner of the ToL.

[–]Diplominator 13 points14 points ago

He was? I was just using him in the context of a Protestant vs. Catholic dispute, which...may or may not be historically accurate.

[–]Kainotomiu 14 points15 points ago

He was. Cromwell spent some time in the Tower before he was executed. And yeah, he was also one of the leaders of the reform.

[–]bigrob1 2 points3 points ago

Wolsey! Can I have an up vote?

[–]monkeedude1212 3 points4 points ago

Do you mean Wolsey? I mean, I too, have watched the Tudors.

[–]bigrob1 3 points4 points ago

Edward V and the Duke of York. Technically prisoners. Yes I have seen the Tudors, but thats not where I thought of Wolsey from. And thank you for the correction.

[–]stormfallen 6 points7 points ago

Welcome to /r/nocontext.

[–]fdsauiofjsd 4 points5 points ago

Oh my god this is fucking hilarious

[–]AerialAmphibian 13 points14 points ago

You hipsters are funny. This story was painted on cave walls shortly after the Time of the First Songs.

[–]SquirtisMayfield 8 points9 points ago

These WERE the first songs.

[–]AerialAmphibian 8 points9 points ago

Actually I think the first song started something like, "A witch doctor, a seer and a healer walk into a bar..."

[–]aldenhg 2 points3 points ago

I think my grandpa once showed me an Ozalid copy of this.

[–]mobugs 25 points26 points ago

Yeah this is literally older than the internet. I think e-mail was invented so people could tell this joke more.

[–]SheHasMySpleen 21 points22 points ago

This was around before the Dead Sea even got sick.

[–]sorry_WHAT 3 points4 points ago

Worse, it's been around since before the commies took the Red Sea!

[–]physicscat 9 points10 points ago

The HOPE scholarship is a Georgia thing...that part is not so old.

[–]ClockIsTickling 17 points18 points ago

There are many versions of it, which have generally been manipulated according to the political views of whoever forwarded it last time.

I've personally never seen this particular version.

[–]deadwisdom 9 points10 points ago

This one is more accurate than any other version I've seen, though. Looks like the teacher re-imagined it.

[–]JoshSN 14 points15 points ago

It's a bit biased. Capitalism rocks, everything else is a net loss.

Hmm, libertarian much?

[–]ChaseRex 6 points7 points ago

Capitalism: You have two cows. You can sell one and start a dairy with the other, but nobody buys your product because the corporation down the road has much more product and sells it on the cheap. they can do so because they are in the pockets of the they own the politicians and receive tax breaks and subsidies.

[–]Jarrgon 3 points4 points ago

By auld you mean Scottish right? As in we're about 20 years behind? Because that is depressingly true.

On the plus side we just got out of the 80's

[–]LittleBastard 0 points1 point ago

You should have stayed there. The 90's are complete shite compared to the 80s.

[–]speedyspaceturtle 165 points166 points ago

Animal Farmism- The cows can talk; the cows milk themselves; the cows distribute the milk between all cows equally. This is also known as the Bullshevik Revolution.

[–]CardboardHeatshield 68 points69 points ago

But then the pigs come in and steal all the milk and be douchebags.

[–]speedyspaceturtle 29 points30 points ago

Napoleon! Napoleon!

[–]Warlaw 14 points15 points ago

To be fair, some animals are more equal than others.

[–]__TheLastDodo__ 14 points15 points ago

MAN IS OUR ENEMY!

[–]khanfusion 28 points29 points ago

FOUR LEGS GOOD! TWO LEGS BAD!

[–]cmess77 22 points23 points ago

I WILL WORK HARDER

[–]cooldude654 3 points4 points ago

NAPOLEON IS ALWAYS RIGHT

[–]boredextremely 9 points10 points ago

FOUR LEGS GOOD! TWO LEGS BETTER!

[–]larkeith 3 points4 points ago

All animals are equal, just some are more equal than others.

[–]MikeOfThePalace 8 points9 points ago

And we will fight for,

Bovine freedom,

and hold our large heads high!

We will run free,

With the buffalo,

Or die!

Cows with guns

[–]azimir 4 points5 points ago

Ah, the Cows with Guns situation. It can get truly out of hand if you let them get uppity.

[–]c4ptainmorgan 269 points270 points ago

New Zealand: You have two cows, one of them looks pretty sexy.

[–]CowsRTasty 60 points61 points ago

Wouldn't they be sheep then?

[–]Fairchild660 89 points90 points ago

You're thinking of Wales.

[–]Rasulguhl 138 points139 points ago

I'd rather not.

[–]JakeCameraAction 27 points28 points ago

You know what they call a sheep tied to a lamp post in Wales?
A leisure centre.

[–]Rasulguhl 8 points9 points ago

QI?

[–]JakeCameraAction 2 points3 points ago

Yup. Rob Bryden's joke. Even funnier since he's Welsh.

[–]Irish_Whiskey 4 points5 points ago

Just more of the institutionalized racism that is accepted when directed toward the Welsh.

[–]SkaveRat 7 points8 points ago

yes, whales are sexy too

[–]saltycutout 96 points97 points ago

/r/forwardsfromgrandma would love this

[–]collinc2343 15 points16 points ago

Fuck that, I'm not clicking that subreddit. I don't know what grandma sends, but it's always full of viruses.

[–]ThatsNotHerToeDude 4 points5 points ago

Thank you so much for this.

[–]hates_usernames 142 points143 points ago

REDDITISM: You have two cats. You whore them for karma and get worthless internet points.

[–]anonmou5e 34 points35 points ago

Two cats? Must be new to reddit.

[–]DaymanMaster0fKarate 5 points6 points ago

What, no cat milk?

[–]capnlumps 10 points11 points ago

"I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?"

[–]swim711crazy 21 points22 points ago

Cow can't maintain a 3.0, loses HOPE scholarship, ends up dealing coke on Moreland ave.

[–]felge 42 points43 points ago

e-cow-nomics (if you want get this as a poster)

[–]Elc1247 10 points11 points ago

I actually have that hanging on my wall right now. great poster to get people amused.

[–]beasterne 5 points6 points ago

Are you ready to get amused? Here's my cow poster!

[–]sqazm 193 points194 points ago

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: re: re: re: re: SO FUNNY!

Thanks, Grandma.

[–]PygmyTwylyte 10 points11 points ago

Hinduism: The cows have you...

[–]SmokierTrout 60 points61 points ago

The thing about cow politics is that it's always interesting which ideologies get included and which excluded, sometimes they even have their labels swapped. Like I didn't see any of the capitalist parodies in this one. eg.

American Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

Russian Capitalism: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

But two thing always remain the same, it starts with feudalism and ends with surrealism.

[–]tomorrowboy 8 points9 points ago

Shouldn't American Capitalism be something like:

"You have two cows. You sell both and start importing milk from a developing country."

[–]Re-donk 19 points20 points ago

Nice. Found it wrong that there were no real criticisms of capitalism.

[–]palsh7 5 points6 points ago

You have two cows. Your neighbors could only afford one cow each. You sell your milk for maximum profit until you can afford to buy even more cows, undercut your competitors, and put other cow owners out of business. You hire some of them to deliver your milk for minimum wage. The rest struggle while they look for new ways to make money, and must rely on charity to survive.

[–]noob_goldberg 37 points38 points ago

Good heavens, now I feel old. I've seen typewritten versions of this floating around University economics departments.

Don't get me wrong, it's extremely well done. It's just older than your parents.

[–]drbooberry 43 points44 points ago

yes, it's old. no, it's not well done. it's a cute thing to make kids think capitalism is the greatest economic policy since the introduction of standardized currency. each policy has pro/cons. and it conveniently leaves out just enough to show a tremendous bias.

[–]uioz 18 points19 points ago

Actually, pure communism sounds best to me.

[–]fdsauiofjsd 17 points18 points ago

Right but the implication behind "pure" is that there's no way it could exist in reality. "Capitalism" should be called "pure capitalism" on that list.

[–]XDME 3 points4 points ago

If only humans could exist without greed :/

[–]TheMambalyJambo 3 points4 points ago

You must have misread surrealism.

[–]khanfusion 33 points34 points ago

Fixed:

Capitalism - You have two cows, but someone with 30 thousand cows says you violate their copyright. You now have no cows, and are fined for one hundred million dollars.

[–]vicariouslyeye 5 points6 points ago

Fixed:

Socialism: You AND EVERYONE ELSE have to take care of the cows and you get as much milk as you like

...very conveniently left out O.O

[–]freeze_inthe_breeze 7 points8 points ago

Any chance this happened in Georgia? HOPE Scholarship is big there

[–]mr_pleco 4 points5 points ago

HOPE exists elsewhere. I went to school on HOPE. I would not have been able to go otherwise (very lower middle class WASPs don't get enough scholarships).

[–]Lyeit 1 point2 points ago

It was big here. The current governor is an asshat and HOPE lost most of its funding in the past year or two. There are still Pell grants, but you have to be seriously qualified.

[–]esc27 18 points19 points ago

Schism - The two cows have a religious argument, then leave the pasture to found separate churches.

History-channel-ism - The two cows hunt alligators in Louisiana, actually the gators are aliens, actually the cows are aliens, actually Louisiana is an alien. Actually the aliens run a pawn shop.

American Capitalism - You have two cows. Due to prohibitive regulations, you cannot afford the proper equipment to legally sell their milk. A larger dairy buys your farm, fires you, and calls you a freeloader when you collect unemployment.

[–]SwatchQuatch 17 points18 points ago

Well, according to this I'm a Surrealanarcommuniscapitalist. Now for the giraffe lessons taught by the government harmonicas. I think I got that right.

[–]SilentDis 22 points23 points ago

I believe you reached ~2-3 Cuils there.

[–]bear_on_a_rocket 1 point2 points ago

Whoa...

[–]Xoebe 18 points19 points ago

Capitalism: You borrow money from the bank to buy two cows. The bank uses the money to speculate in consolidated milk derivate para-futures. Milk prices skyrocket, then crash just as you get the milk to market. You can't sell the milk, the bank forecloses on you and takes the cows back. The government props up the bank with Dairy Recovery Act funds. They then cancel your medicare and social security because of "austerity", while spending trillions in Iraq and Afghanistan. Upset at this turn of events, you protest at the capitol - are arrested, pepper-sprayed and beaten - in that order - and held in jail for six months until the court decides that the arrests were unwarranted but the police "did nothing wrong" and "acted in good faith". You complain about this on an internet forum, and are labelled "anti-American", "Communist" and "pro-terrorist". You just wanted to be a farmer.

[–]SomethingMusic 4 points5 points ago

I think you ended up confusing Capitalism with American Democracy

[–]DocDerry 10 points11 points ago

Let's confuse economic systems and systems of government using cows to show how stupid we are.

[–]VeniVidiUpVoti 10 points11 points ago

I am mildly insulted by the welfare state hope scholarship jab. For those that don't know, its a Georgia state program (completely funded by the georgia lottery) that pays the full (issue with some of the new 'fees') tuition for anyone maintaining a 3.0 GPA.

Seriously this is what state government was made for.

[–]beezen 43 points44 points ago

you know I was just thinking what the problem with that analogy was... it just came to me.. not everyone has two cows to begin with... that's where capitalism fails..

[–]TheGreenShepherd 28 points29 points ago

or this..

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. Your neighbor has 1000 cows and his consumption of grass/hay drives up your prices so that you can't afford to keep yours. You sell your underfed cows to your neighbor for a pittance and then go to work at his dairy, making minimum wage with no healthcare, smelling like cowshit. Because your neighbor is trying to maximize his profits, he skimps on all safety and care measures, the cows get infected udders, you get hoof and mouth disease, and your neighbor retires in the Caymans.

[–]Deadmirth 7 points8 points ago

But you hold on to the dream that some day, you could be your neighbor.

[–]LaraLoganspeaks 23 points24 points ago

Am I missing something? By your logic, none of these work because not everyone has two cows to begin with in any of these instances, right?

[–]mike8787 37 points38 points ago

Mitt Romney has two cows, a dancing horse, and a traumatized dog.

[–]Rat02 2 points3 points ago

That was the funniest thing I've read in a while.

[–]Enforcer84 6 points7 points ago

And if everyone has 2 cows those with the bulls would certainly not sell them for the cost of a cow.

So his best bet would be to sell a cow, rent a bull and hope he gets a bull of his own...I think.

[–]maverickxv 37 points38 points ago

Replace cows with time. Everyone has time. You trade it for things like jobs and education. Cows just make it easier to understand. And silly.

[–]palsh7 6 points7 points ago

But time + resources = opportunity. Not everyone has the same resources to do with their time what others can do.

[–]lateby30 15 points16 points ago

Yes. Thank you. I was trying to figure out why that one wasn't sitting well with me. Maybe should go like this:

You inherit two cows. Someone else milks them, and gives you the milk. You sell that person the milk back and when they complain about the arrangement, you tell them that they would have two cows too, if they weren't so damn lazy.

[–]Clownsheuz 3 points4 points ago

More of the after affects, in a couple generations say this person has created an enterprise from the dairy and beef industry.

You cannot afford a cow because this person can outbid you without breaking a sweat. As you can't buy a cow you need another source of food so you have to get a job, Hey look at that! Dairy farms and factories all over the place, I guess you can work there, you get paid the lowest possible amount your employer can.

Then you take the small amount of money you did get and because you can't afford your own livestock you have to buy your food from the same person you work for.

When you find that the amount of money you get paid is only enough to sustain you until you get paid again and all your money comes from and goes to the same place you realize that you aren't free at all.

[–]AlterBridgeFan 5 points6 points ago

I like the last one. The last one is good.

[–]Cockdieselallthetime 3 points4 points ago

...and I got it from one of my teachers 10 years ago.

[–]c0rn0 15 points16 points ago

Inceptionism: You have one lonely cow. You hire Leonardo DiCaprio to enter the cow's dreams, where the lonely cow has lots of friends. He returns with the milk.

[–]Sandbox47 4 points5 points ago

So I am a surrealist. Cool.

[–]JFSOCC 2 points3 points ago

terribly inaccurate, and the humour is stale.

[–]MarkoSeke 2 points3 points ago

Russian Communism: You have two cows. The cows milk you.

[–]AliasBr1 0 points1 point ago

Capitalism would be more like: You own two cows, sell one, buy a bull and start a dairy then, thanks to the freedom of market, a multinational company settles besides your dairy and starts selling imported products for half the price you sell them, you go bankrupt, ask the bank for a loan, but the bank is owned by the same excutive board as the multinational company who is also going bankrupt because of the recesion that capitalism itself caused, so the interests of your loan go sky high and you can't pay them, so you sell the only cow that you have left to pay the loan but then you starve to death because you have no cows, no dairy and no hope.

[–]TrindadeDisciple 0 points1 point ago

Pure anarchy: You have two cows. You can sell your milk or give it away, but you don't have to worry about being killed because your neighbors like your milk and they know you have a contract with Farmland Defense Agency who are some dangerous motherfuckers.

[–]jkpinaz 0 points1 point ago

This improperly presents pure socialism and pure anarchy. Pure socialism does not imply government. Pure anarchy does not have some special inclination toward killing; the people who kill in anarchy are the people who kill regardless if there is a government or not anyways.

[–]MC-Master-Bedroom 2 points3 points ago

This was around when I was a kid. And I'm 54.

[–]rgliszin 2 points3 points ago

I see this teacher greatly misunderstands the nature of capitalism. Where is socialism?

[–]exegesisClique 2 points3 points ago

Capitalism: You have two cows. The mega-agro-business has 1000's. They undercut you. You can't sell milk. You're forced to sell your cows to eat.

FTFY

[–]johnaldmcgee 7 points8 points ago

Print out chain e-mail from your grandma.

Take a picture.

Upload picture to imgur.

Link to picture on reddit.

Go fuck yourself.

[–]King_Lem 3 points4 points ago

Liking the pure socialism/communism things.

[–]warcin 6 points7 points ago

Unfortunately neither of those can exist in the real world because people are greedy self-centered shits

[–]Dhuske 3 points4 points ago

How odd that people were 'defying their nature' for thousands of years during humanity's stages of primitive communism.

[–]Spinster444 0 points1 point ago

how odd that you're equating two things that are so drastically different it makes me want to shoot my dick off...

[–]Denies_Errything 3 points4 points ago

This is why we can't have nice things.

I've always loved the thought of communism, but haven't always been willing to consider that the people running that kind of government are human, and will fuck shit up for the rest of us.

[–]Contero 2 points3 points ago

Unlike our perfectly implemented Capitalism!

[–]Igggg 1 point2 points ago

I like how this version makes capitalism looks like the only appropriate form of economy.

In reality, the entry for capitalism should read You don't have any cows. Corporations do, and they hire you to milk them for a small portion of that milk.

[–]ANakedBear 0 points1 point ago

I too felt that this was also true. It is very bias.

[–]tevert 2 points3 points ago

This is very old, but quite funny. And I've never actually seen it on reddit before, otherwise I'd downvote the shit outta you.

[–]Exiton_Pi 2 points3 points ago

Yes but where do the libertarians fit into all of this?

[–]Gaditonecy 2 points3 points ago

Capitalism. Notice how there was no government to force you to do something?

[–]Lee13412 0 points1 point ago

Communism doesn't sound bad at all

[–]takkatakkatakka -1 points0 points ago

Russian communism? Russia has never been communistic but socialistic.

[–]gilbes 2 points3 points ago

Capitalism : You have 2 cows. You sell one cow and mortgage the other to buy a bull. You are unable to make your cow mortgage payments with only one cow, a fact the bank was well aware of, so the cow and bull are repossessed for nonpayment. The bank sells your cow and bull to a conglomerate for a loss, so the government gives the bank money to cover it. The conglomerate that bought your cow now owns most of the cows and has enough money to hire lobbyists to secure a sizable subsidy for their milk operation. It sells you poor quality milk at double the price using cheap foreign labor to milk the cows.

I am not anti-capitalist, but their capitalism analogy was obviously skewed far away from reality.

[–]bfeliciano 1 point2 points ago

I'm not a very smart person but this seemed pretty concise and accurate to me. Neat post!

[–]Ughable 13 points14 points ago

A lot of them were very inaccurate, but this thing has been a worksheet/poster in schools since the 50's, so it's pretty much cold war propaganda.

[–]superwinner 22 points23 points ago

Went a little easy on the capitalism. Should have been more like, "One of your neighbours inherited a billion cows, buys your government so he can get a tax break to buy another billion cows. Hoards all the milk in an air cooled ware house till the price goes up from lack of milk in the marketplace, then dumps a bunch of it on the open market driving all the other people who own cows out of the milk business."

[–]Gaditonecy 5 points6 points ago

What you described is corporatism or crony capitalism, not capitalism.

In a purely capitalist society, government wouldn't necessarily exist, so the billionaire wouldn't be able to buy power like that. Instead, he would have to respond to market forces and give consumers a good deal; otherwise he would quickly lose his money to more efficient competitors.

[–]fdsauiofjsd 16 points17 points ago

In a purely capitalist society

There's your problem. There was "pure" vs. "real" for socialism and communism; how come there was no "real" capitalism?

[–]Gaditonecy 3 points4 points ago

Well, given that the definition of "capitalism" is closer to my scenario and the definition of "corporatism" is closer to superwinner's scenario, I don't really think that I am incorrect here. Maybe oversimplified, yes, but not incorrect.

Maybe the paper had to qualify the definitions for "socialism" and "communism" because most people are misinformed when it comes to those terms?

If anything, the paper should include entries for "corporatism" or "crony capitalism".

[–]fdsauiofjsd 2 points3 points ago

Never said you were wrong. I'm just pointing out that whereas you were referring to the dictionary definitions of those words, superwinner may have been referring to "capitalism in practice", i.e. what capitalism actually looks like in a society that calls itself capitalist, or the everyday definition - which is, IMO, just as relevant as the official definition.

[–]draje175 10 points11 points ago

or he has enough money to lower prices long enough to drive the competition out of business, and then create a monopoly.

And sell the milk however they wanted to because lack of regulations

[–]TrindadeDisciple 6 points7 points ago

he has enough money

Which can only occur if he provides valuable goods and/or services to others.

[–]Dhuske 3 points4 points ago

Well, most use the word 'capitalism' to mean the economic system that took over from feudalism with the onset of the industrial revolution, the same system which most of the world has today.

It's fair to want to talk about something else, to speculate about a system in which the power of the capital owners is not directed through the government but kept entirely privatized. That's fair, but it's not fair to say that this is the only meaning.

So you can choose to use the word 'capitalism' for what you describe, while pointing out that you use the word in a special/particular sense, or you can use another word to try and eliminate confusion. 'Right libertarianism' is one possibility.

[–]SmokierTrout 2 points3 points ago

Not entirely sure how a lack of government would prevent the practice of loss leading.

[–]Bearnun 1 point2 points ago

My boyfriend had a similar poster: http://www.bluedogposters.com.au/shopexd.asp?id=5884

[–]pdeluc99 -1 points0 points ago

I got this sheet like freshman year of high school, same age?

[–]ThyNoga 0 points1 point ago

Woah! My teacher showed me this too, but it was a video on YouTube! I think we can trust somebody to find it?

[–]ferrett3 0 points1 point ago

I have this as a poster. Link

[–]PriceChild 1 point2 points ago

When you put it that way, democracy sounds like a pretty bum deal.

[–]skeptical_spectacle 3 points4 points ago

If others can vote for your rights, then democracy devolves into tyranny of the majority.

[–]Jtrapani 1 point2 points ago

I read this in Ron Swanson's voice.

[–]Erpderp 0 points1 point ago

Im studying for uni and this is in the book for political science

[–]Bass_EXE 1 point2 points ago

It gets increasingly blurry the more you read towards the right

[–]unhapztoms 1 point2 points ago

Those double spaces are killing me.

[–]dwTony 0 points1 point ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6F5PH8_q1M Has also been made into a video.

[–]MisterRandomness 0 points1 point ago

Stupid long horses...

[–]Th3BlackLotus 0 points1 point ago

Remember this poster from middleschool. Ahh, Ye olden days.

[–]Pleasuresaurus_Sex 0 points1 point ago

Haha my class got this earlier in the year too.

[–]zachb115 0 points1 point ago

It all makes sense now...

[–]DCAnimatedUniverse 0 points1 point ago

Ms.Desjarlais?!

[–]surrealasm_atwork 0 points1 point ago

I do prefer the latter. And I play some mean blues harp.

[–]Sk8r115 1 point2 points ago

I think anarchy was the best choice here

[–]Napuc 0 points1 point ago

My Civics & Economics teacher did this with chickens...

[–]hrb0818 0 points1 point ago

TIL: I am going blind in my right eye.

[–]Beatsters 0 points1 point ago

I have yet to see a version of this that is actually funny, or at least insightful.

[–]AnExoticLlama 0 points1 point ago

I got this same paper 2 years ago in my ELA class. Should have karma-whored it like you, eh?

[–]Echonox1 0 points1 point ago

There is a poster of it at my school, maybe I can take a picture of it tomorrow

[–]dantheman244 1 point2 points ago

I prefer the one that compares chickens crossing the road to different ideologies/philosophies. I.e. why did the utilitarian chicken cross the road? For the greater good! slaps knee

[–]tomdarch 0 points1 point ago

Could someone please get a copy of this to the "Study it up!" lady? I'm sure it won't help, but it's the right thing to do.

[–]ryko25 0 points1 point ago

HA!!!!!!!! SOOO funny (in 1998 or whenever I first got emailed it)

[–]Meowzilla221 0 points1 point ago

One of my high school teachers had a poster of this, pictures and all

[–]A_Magicalredditor 0 points1 point ago

My old marketing teacher had a big poster with all those on it.It still funny to me atleast

[–]HeyThereSport 0 points1 point ago

Though I found it reasonably funny, it seems a little over simplified and one sided to be a good classroom tool. Yet again, I still like it because it's funny.

[–]Le_Master 0 points1 point ago

The "pure anarchy" one also applies to all the others.

[–]DarthNihilus1 0 points1 point ago

This is also a poster. A big green poster with little panels showing all the different ones

[–]Osiiris 0 points1 point ago

My favorite version: stuffucanuse.com/all_jokes/jokes%20cows.htm

I still re-read it from time to time.

[–]kingdavidek 1 point2 points ago

Pure Anarchy: everyone except you is a murderous thief.

[–]empirer 0 points1 point ago

Classic Nazi move

[–]DarthNihilus1 0 points1 point ago

British Corporation.

You have 2 cows.

Both are mad

[–]Thrip 1 point2 points ago

Capitalism: You have two cows. A giant factory farm with thousands of hormone- and antibiotic-laced cows undersells your milk so that you have to sell your two cows and go to work for them for a wage you can't quite live off of.

[–]IrishPi 0 points1 point ago

Georgia Rep.

[–]CaptianRipass 0 points1 point ago

I wouldn't mind having two giraffes and and some mad harmonica skills

[–]negraeffn 0 points1 point ago

I remember getting this in grade 10 or 11

[–]define_44696f6e 1 point2 points ago

TIL anarchists are people who'd love to live in a society where everyone can kill and rape as they please.

[–]ethday 0 points1 point ago

[–]salvialol 1 point2 points ago

Capitalism: Someone with more cows than you buys your cows and everyone elses, then sells you the milk for double the price.

[–]robots_and_cancer 1 point2 points ago

Holy cow that's a really old throwback.

[–]Kaaraii 0 points1 point ago

So your friend is in grade 9?

[–]EverythingsTemporary 0 points1 point ago

I got this paper in 9th grade world history.

I wish I had cashed in a screenshot for karma back then.

[–]Toobad113 0 points1 point ago

My history teacher has a poster of this. It even has pictures!

[–]FSUdank 0 points1 point ago

surrealism sounds nice

[–]jalyssah 0 points1 point ago

My friend gave that to me last year... that is seriously how I remember my governments (to a degree).

[–]FelixR1991 0 points1 point ago

Capitalism: Big business threatens to poison your cows if you don't sell them at an unfair price, or poisons the milk and you get sued, and in order to pay for legal fees you are forced to sell the cows at an unfair price.

[–]RonaldFuckingPaul 0 points1 point ago

yeah, well it wasn't you

[–]Dizzy_Hooves 0 points1 point ago

I could of gotten Karma for my Social studies homework last year? Aww fuck.

[–]rindindin 0 points1 point ago

I like Surrealism the best.

[–]Killhouse 0 points1 point ago

There certainly seemed to be a lot of Nazis for a government that shot everyone.

[–]Lioness123 0 points1 point ago

Wow, I got this from my mom. . . In about 1972.

[–]RainyResident 0 points1 point ago

I have a poster of something similar to this, but with pictures, and some are countries. My favorite-

New Zealand corporation: You have 2 cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

[–]alienbringer 0 points1 point ago

This reminds me of the math of big game hunting, aka how to trap a lion.

[–]pepperp 0 points1 point ago

My old Social studies teacher in high school had a poster of that

[–]Supernaturaltwin 0 points1 point ago

I got this back in high school. It's clever.

[–]PointlessManiac 0 points1 point ago

I remember one of my teachers giving me the exact same handout

[–]Zacca -1 points0 points ago

Lost it at Nazism.

[–]girlikecupcake 0 points1 point ago

I received this (word for word, it looks like) at my high school a few years ago. STILL find it damn hilarious

[–]boredextremely 0 points1 point ago

My largest problem with this is that feudalism isn't quite accurate.

[–]Kelevra- 0 points1 point ago

I used to have this at my history class, 15 years ago.

[–]shaystamang -1 points0 points ago

That's a terrible misrepresentation of Anarchism.