My friend got this from one of his teachers

Diplominator · 2 days

This is not merely old. This is like, olde. Or possibly auld.

Still funny, though.

speedyspaceturtle · 2 days

Animal Farmism- The cows can talk; the cows milk themselves; the cows distribute the milk between all cows equally. This is also known as the Bullshevik Revolution.

c4ptainmorgan · 2 days

New Zealand: You have two cows, one of them looks pretty sexy.

saltycutout · 2 days

/r/forwardsfromgrandma would love this

hates_usernames · 2 days

REDDITISM: You have two cats. You whore them for karma and get worthless internet points.

swim711crazy · 2 days

Cow can't maintain a 3.0, loses HOPE scholarship, ends up dealing coke on Moreland ave.

felge · 2 days

e-cow-nomics (if you want get this as a poster)

sqazm · 2 days

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: re: re: re: re: SO FUNNY!

Thanks, Grandma.

PygmyTwylyte · 2 days

Hinduism: The cows have you...

SmokierTrout · 2 days

The thing about cow politics is that it's always interesting which ideologies get included and which excluded, sometimes they even have their labels swapped. Like I didn't see any of the capitalist parodies in this one. eg.

American Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

Enron Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

Russian Capitalism: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

But two thing always remain the same, it starts with feudalism and ends with surrealism.

noob_goldberg · 2 days

Good heavens, now I feel old. I've seen typewritten versions of this floating around University economics departments.

Don't get me wrong, it's extremely well done. It's just older than your parents.

khanfusion · 2 days

Fixed:

Capitalism - You have two cows, but someone with 30 thousand cows says you violate their copyright. You now have no cows, and are fined for one hundred million dollars.

freeze_inthe_breeze · 2 days

Any chance this happened in Georgia? HOPE Scholarship is big there

esc27 · 2 days

Schism - The two cows have a religious argument, then leave the pasture to found separate churches.

History-channel-ism - The two cows hunt alligators in Louisiana, actually the gators are aliens, actually the cows are aliens, actually Louisiana is an alien. Actually the aliens run a pawn shop.

American Capitalism - You have two cows. Due to prohibitive regulations, you cannot afford the proper equipment to legally sell their milk. A larger dairy buys your farm, fires you, and calls you a freeloader when you collect unemployment.

SwatchQuatch · 2 days

Well, according to this I'm a Surrealanarcommuniscapitalist. Now for the giraffe lessons taught by the government harmonicas. I think I got that right.

Xoebe · 2 days

Capitalism: You borrow money from the bank to buy two cows. The bank uses the money to speculate in consolidated milk derivate para-futures. Milk prices skyrocket, then crash just as you get the milk to market. You can't sell the milk, the bank forecloses on you and takes the cows back. The government props up the bank with Dairy Recovery Act funds. They then cancel your medicare and social security because of "austerity", while spending trillions in Iraq and Afghanistan. Upset at this turn of events, you protest at the capitol - are arrested, pepper-sprayed and beaten - in that order - and held in jail for six months until the court decides that the arrests were unwarranted but the police "did nothing wrong" and "acted in good faith". You complain about this on an internet forum, and are labelled "anti-American", "Communist" and "pro-terrorist". You just wanted to be a farmer.

DocDerry · 2 days

Let's confuse economic systems and systems of government using cows to show how stupid we are.

VeniVidiUpVoti · 2 days

I am mildly insulted by the welfare state hope scholarship jab. For those that don't know, its a Georgia state program (completely funded by the georgia lottery) that pays the full (issue with some of the new 'fees') tuition for anyone maintaining a 3.0 GPA.

Seriously this is what state government was made for.

beezen · 2 days

you know I was just thinking what the problem with that analogy was... it just came to me.. not everyone has two cows to begin with... that's where capitalism fails..

AlterBridgeFan · 2 days

I like the last one. The last one is good.

Cockdieselallthetime · 2 days

...and I got it from one of my teachers 10 years ago.

c0rn0 · 2 days

Inceptionism: You have one lonely cow. You hire Leonardo DiCaprio to enter the cow's dreams, where the lonely cow has lots of friends. He returns with the milk.

Sandbox47 · 2 days

So I am a surrealist. Cool.

JFSOCC · 2 days

terribly inaccurate, and the humour is stale.

MarkoSeke · 2 days

Russian Communism: You have two cows. The cows milk you.

AliasBr1 · 2 days

Capitalism would be more like: You own two cows, sell one, buy a bull and start a dairy then, thanks to the freedom of market, a multinational company settles besides your dairy and starts selling imported products for half the price you sell them, you go bankrupt, ask the bank for a loan, but the bank is owned by the same excutive board as the multinational company who is also going bankrupt because of the recesion that capitalism itself caused, so the interests of your loan go sky high and you can't pay them, so you sell the only cow that you have left to pay the loan but then you starve to death because you have no cows, no dairy and no hope.

TrindadeDisciple · 2 days

Pure anarchy: You have two cows. You can sell your milk or give it away, but you don't have to worry about being killed because your neighbors like your milk and they know you have a contract with Farmland Defense Agency who are some dangerous motherfuckers.

jkpinaz · 2 days

This improperly presents pure socialism and pure anarchy. Pure socialism does not imply government. Pure anarchy does not have some special inclination toward killing; the people who kill in anarchy are the people who kill regardless if there is a government or not anyways.

MC-Master-Bedroom · 2 days

This was around when I was a kid. And I'm 54.

rgliszin · 2 days

I see this teacher greatly misunderstands the nature of capitalism. Where is socialism?

exegesisClique · 2 days

Capitalism: You have two cows. The mega-agro-business has 1000's. They undercut you. You can't sell milk. You're forced to sell your cows to eat.

FTFY

johnaldmcgee · 2 days

Print out chain e-mail from your grandma.

Take a picture.

Upload picture to imgur.

Link to picture on reddit.

Go fuck yourself.

King_Lem · 2 days

Liking the pure socialism/communism things.

Igggg · 2 days

I like how this version makes capitalism looks like the only appropriate form of economy.

In reality, the entry for capitalism should read You don't have any cows. Corporations do, and they hire you to milk them for a small portion of that milk.

tevert · 2 days

This is very old, but quite funny. And I've never actually seen it on reddit before, otherwise I'd downvote the shit outta you.

Exiton_Pi · 2 days

Yes but where do the libertarians fit into all of this?

Lee13412 · 2 days

Communism doesn't sound bad at all

takkatakkatakka · 2 days

Russian communism? Russia has never been communistic but socialistic.

gilbes · 2 days

Capitalism : You have 2 cows. You sell one cow and mortgage the other to buy a bull. You are unable to make your cow mortgage payments with only one cow, a fact the bank was well aware of, so the cow and bull are repossessed for nonpayment. The bank sells your cow and bull to a conglomerate for a loss, so the government gives the bank money to cover it. The conglomerate that bought your cow now owns most of the cows and has enough money to hire lobbyists to secure a sizable subsidy for their milk operation. It sells you poor quality milk at double the price using cheap foreign labor to milk the cows.

I am not anti-capitalist, but their capitalism analogy was obviously skewed far away from reality.

bfeliciano · 2 days

I'm not a very smart person but this seemed pretty concise and accurate to me. Neat post!

Bearnun · 2 days

My boyfriend had a similar poster: http://www.bluedogposters.com.au/shopexd.asp?id=5884

pdeluc99 · 2 days

I got this sheet like freshman year of high school, same age?

ThyNoga · 2 days

Woah! My teacher showed me this too, but it was a video on YouTube! I think we can trust somebody to find it?

ferrett3 · 2 days

I have this as a poster. Link

PriceChild · 2 days

When you put it that way, democracy sounds like a pretty bum deal.

Jtrapani · 2 days

I read this in Ron Swanson's voice.

Erpderp · 2 days

Im studying for uni and this is in the book for political science

Bass_EXE · 2 days

It gets increasingly blurry the more you read towards the right

Inky109 · 2 days

http://www.allposters.com/-sp/E-cow-nomics-Posters_i2914414_.htm

unhapztoms · 2 days

Those double spaces are killing me.

dwTony · 2 days

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6F5PH8_q1M Has also been made into a video.

MisterRandomness · 2 days

Stupid long horses...

kirun · 2 days

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_have_two_cows

Th3BlackLotus · 2 days

Remember this poster from middleschool. Ahh, Ye olden days.

Pleasuresaurus_Sex · 2 days

Haha my class got this earlier in the year too.

zachb115 · 2 days

It all makes sense now...

DCAnimatedUniverse · 2 days

Ms.Desjarlais?!

surrealasm_atwork · 2 days

I do prefer the latter. And I play some mean blues harp.

Sk8r115 · 2 days

I think anarchy was the best choice here

Napuc · 2 days

My Civics & Economics teacher did this with chickens...

hrb0818 · 2 days

TIL: I am going blind in my right eye.

Beatsters · 2 days

I have yet to see a version of this that is actually funny, or at least insightful.

AnExoticLlama · 2 days

I got this same paper 2 years ago in my ELA class. Should have karma-whored it like you, eh?

Echonox1 · 2 days

There is a poster of it at my school, maybe I can take a picture of it tomorrow

dantheman244 · 2 days

I prefer the one that compares chickens crossing the road to different ideologies/philosophies. I.e. why did the utilitarian chicken cross the road? For the greater good! slaps knee

tomdarch · 2 days

Could someone please get a copy of this to the "Study it up!" lady? I'm sure it won't help, but it's the right thing to do.

ryko25 · 2 days

HA!!!!!!!! SOOO funny (in 1998 or whenever I first got emailed it)

Meowzilla221 · 2 days

One of my high school teachers had a poster of this, pictures and all

A_Magicalredditor · 2 days

My old marketing teacher had a big poster with all those on it.It still funny to me atleast

HeyThereSport · 2 days

Though I found it reasonably funny, it seems a little over simplified and one sided to be a good classroom tool. Yet again, I still like it because it's funny.

Le_Master · 2 days

The "pure anarchy" one also applies to all the others.

DarthNihilus1 · 2 days

This is also a poster. A big green poster with little panels showing all the different ones

Osiiris · 2 days

My favorite version: stuffucanuse.com/all_jokes/jokes%20cows.htm

I still re-read it from time to time.

kingdavidek · 2 days

Pure Anarchy: everyone except you is a murderous thief.

empirer · 2 days

Classic Nazi move

DarthNihilus1 · 2 days

British Corporation.

You have 2 cows.

Both are mad

Thrip · 2 days

Capitalism: You have two cows. A giant factory farm with thousands of hormone- and antibiotic-laced cows undersells your milk so that you have to sell your two cows and go to work for them for a wage you can't quite live off of.

IrishPi · 2 days

Georgia Rep.

CaptianRipass · 2 days

I wouldn't mind having two giraffes and and some mad harmonica skills

negraeffn · 2 days

I remember getting this in grade 10 or 11

define_44696f6e · 2 days

TIL anarchists are people who'd love to live in a society where everyone can kill and rape as they please.

ethday · 2 days

Trying to figure this out...

salvialol · 2 days

Capitalism: Someone with more cows than you buys your cows and everyone elses, then sells you the milk for double the price.

robots_and_cancer · 2 days

Holy cow that's a really old throwback.

Kaaraii · 2 days

So your friend is in grade 9?

EverythingsTemporary · 2 days

I got this paper in 9th grade world history.

I wish I had cashed in a screenshot for karma back then.

Toobad113 · 2 days

My history teacher has a poster of this. It even has pictures!

FSUdank · 2 days

surrealism sounds nice

jalyssah · 2 days

My friend gave that to me last year... that is seriously how I remember my governments (to a degree).

FelixR1991 · 2 days

Capitalism: Big business threatens to poison your cows if you don't sell them at an unfair price, or poisons the milk and you get sued, and in order to pay for legal fees you are forced to sell the cows at an unfair price.

RonaldFuckingPaul · 2 days

yeah, well it wasn't you

Dizzy_Hooves · 2 days

I could of gotten Karma for my Social studies homework last year? Aww fuck.

rindindin · 2 days

I like Surrealism the best.

Killhouse · 2 days

There certainly seemed to be a lot of Nazis for a government that shot everyone.

Lioness123 · 2 days

Wow, I got this from my mom. . . In about 1972.

RainyResident · 2 days

I have a poster of something similar to this, but with pictures, and some are countries. My favorite-

New Zealand corporation: You have 2 cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

alienbringer · 2 days

This reminds me of the math of big game hunting, aka how to trap a lion.

pepperp · 2 days

My old Social studies teacher in high school had a poster of that

Supernaturaltwin · 2 days

I got this back in high school. It's clever.

PointlessManiac · 2 days

I remember one of my teachers giving me the exact same handout

Zacca · 2 days

Lost it at Nazism.

girlikecupcake · 2 days

I received this (word for word, it looks like) at my high school a few years ago. STILL find it damn hilarious

boredextremely · 2 days

My largest problem with this is that feudalism isn't quite accurate.

Kelevra- · 2 days

I used to have this at my history class, 15 years ago.

shaystamang · 2 days

That's a terrible misrepresentation of Anarchism.

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