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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]fr1sbee 503 points504 points ago

[–]MyNewNewUserName 92 points93 points ago

The father of the bride's reaction.

[–]tashbarg 300 points301 points ago

Why not make it "get married" and have an achievement for both?

[–]MaxTheHedgehog 213 points214 points ago

It's split screen, as you are a guy, you can only see the male side.

[–]mtrice 94 points95 points ago

Like so much in life.

[–]VoiceOfRealson 96 points97 points ago

She's an NPC.

[–]fubarlphie 142 points143 points ago

It's self-deprecating humor. It's an achievement for him, but not an achievement for her implies that she's an amazing woman who could have easily found a husband.

[–]choldredge 27 points28 points ago

This is exactly right. Same reason why old-fashioned ettiquite books will tell you to congratulate the groom and complement the bride: "It is a breach of good manners to congratulate a bride on having secured a husband."

[–]fifthdimensional 29 points30 points ago

I like this response.

[–]EtherGnat 4 points5 points ago

Or maybe she's already unlocked that achievement.

[–]NursingInPublic 18 points19 points ago

This is my friends wedding. She had the sign made as a surprise for him. They are both gamers.

[–]tashbarg 8 points9 points ago

That's really sweet. This was a really wonderful idea.

[–]tanglefast 11 points12 points ago

because he's the nerd. not her.

[–]roomagic 1 point2 points ago

The sign was MY idea, so I gave HIM the achievement. That's all there is to it.

[–]Redtitwhore 8 points9 points ago

Splitting hairs, really. I'm pretty sure it's just a joke.

[–]Baroliche 155 points156 points ago

Gotta wrap this wedding shit up, I gotta guild raid to lead at 3.

[–]AlwaysDefenestrated 36 points37 points ago

On xbox?

[–]JablesMcgoo 77 points78 points ago

Hopefully their marriage doesn't RROD, ammirite guys?! anyone? anyone?

[–]rasputine 183 points184 points ago

...obtain?

[–]juxtaposition21 259 points260 points ago

Yes, like property.

[–]iwannatalktosampson 12 points13 points ago

Maybe she's a mail order bride?

[–]Infantryzone 24 points25 points ago

We say "I have a wife/husband" or "I have a brother/sister" no one thinks you are implying that they are property. I don't see how this is any different.

[–]omnilynx 26 points27 points ago

Have and obtain are two very different verbs.

[–]NursingInPublic 5 points6 points ago

She had the sign made as a surprise for him. This is my friend's wedding.

[–]scratchingnose 26 points27 points ago

[–]Sentient_Waffle 6 points7 points ago

Love the girls' mildly disgusted look in the back.

[–]welcometaerf 2 points3 points ago

The other kid looks entranced.

[–]BigTuna820 347 points348 points ago

Well at least they won't regret this 5 years down the line.

[–]Tacota 51 points52 points ago

Yeah, since this is the only wedding photo they took.

[–]AnonymousInAtl 7 points8 points ago

Achievement Unlocked - That escalated quickly 20G

[–]GMBeats95 45 points46 points ago

It's fairly easy to shop out, no regrets.

[–]adfe3 230 points231 points ago

or maybe he didnt hold it up the entire fucking time photos were being taken so there will be photos without it in them. holy fucking shit some people are retarded

[–]hot_sauce02 106 points107 points ago

and the Angriest Person on Reddit Award goes to....

[–]RedGoatSurprise 32 points33 points ago

... /u/MrOhai !!!

Tough competition this season, but the defending champ takes home the gold again.

[–]Great_Zarquon 6 points7 points ago

That is, indeed, a very angry man.

[–]lacylola 18 points19 points ago

I know! I can't believe how many people are so upset that this couple decided on a nice, unique touch to their wedding.

When my (now ex) husband and I got married, part of the temple lawn wasn't finished and had tools and stuff on it; I have pics of us posing American Gothic style,as well as me in the wheelbarrow. Fun, not serious.

[–]MaritMonkey 36 points37 points ago

Wait ... were we supposed to grow out of gaming once we became "adults"? I must have missed the memo.

[–]GaijinFoot 37 points38 points ago

Remember what you were into 5 years ago? Now imagine it was a feature of your wedding. Yeah.

[–]IAmMontreal 70 points71 points ago

A Limp Bizkit wedding would be pretty tight, though.

[–]ls1z28chris 23 points24 points ago

I'ma do things my way. It's my way. My way or the highway.

[–]killyourego 31 points32 points ago

You liked Limp Bizkit in 2007??

[–]slartbarg 18 points19 points ago

this is the larger issue

[–]unusedalias 4 points5 points ago

I'm pretty sure that Limp Bizkit's "short window of fame" was more than 5 years ago.

[–]artificialsnow 2 points3 points ago

"I did it all for the nookie"?... son, you got married for all the wrong reasons.

[–]Androne 1 point2 points ago

Achievement Unlocked Divorced

[–]scumbag-reddit 48 points49 points ago

Playing on easy mode...pussy.

Trying unlocking the "steal a wife" achievement.

[–]Magrippinho 57 points58 points ago

Alright, so "Obtain A Wife" is the worst achievement name possible.

What would be better?

My submissions:

"Oh, no you didn't!"

"Put a ring on it"

"It's dangerous to go alone"

"Against all odds"

"It takes two"

Give me your own thoughts, reddit!

[–]TruthBombs 24 points25 points ago

"It's dangerous to go alone"

that's great.

[–]roomagic 2 points3 points ago

Some of these are really great. I wish I had thought of them. Especially "It's dangerous to go alone". But we thought the obvious wording would have the biggest comedic punch.

[–]numchuckk 5 points6 points ago

so when the eventual divorce comes, who gets the gamerpoints on the weekends?

[–]HairlessSasquatch 43 points44 points ago

not pictured: people in the crowds calling them faggot niggers and offering clan invites

[–]snowtires 262 points263 points ago

That's a great way to show that their marriage is all about him.

[–]iwannatalktosampson 104 points105 points ago

"Obtain" just can't be the best word choice.

[–]Thefriendlyfaceplant 33 points34 points ago

"Acquire" would fit better.

[–]DeadPlayerWalking 38 points39 points ago

"Harvest"? No, wrong kind of achievement.

[–]artificialsnow 6 points7 points ago

He should have assumed direct control.

[–]YourJ 8 points9 points ago

"Possess" perhaps? Like a puppy or kitten.

[–]AATroop 31 points32 points ago

You guys are looking for "enslave".

[–]JavaLSU 16 points17 points ago

I think the point is that HE unlocked an achievement. Not her or both of them.

[–]Chuttin 13 points14 points ago

It could have just as easily have said "Get Married" and then it wouldn't be skewed towards either one of them

[–]RedDeadDerp 26 points27 points ago

Seriously. gamer cousin got married - they joked about starting a new game on co-op mode. That was both cute and not weirdly sexist.

[–]CJGibson 19 points20 points ago

Do you guys honestly not see the difference between "start a new game in co-op mode" and "obtain a wife"? I mean, I'm not going to back up all of the people calling the people in this picture misogynistic, because it seems likely that it was agreed on by both parties. But "obtain a wife" taken completely out of context, just looking at the language itself, has a lot of misogynistic undertones. Undertones that something like "start a new game in co-op" doesn't. One implies cooperation, equality and doing something together. The other implies that the man is the only one doing anything and that the woman is something to be "obtained." It does harken back to an older concept of marriage, where the man owned his wife. I suspect that the people in the photo didn't mean to suggest that, but their choice of language ended up doing it anyway, unfortunately.

[–]RedDeadDerp 19 points20 points ago

People are claiming (correctly) the wording is misogynistic. I have no information regarding anything else so I won't guess on that.

I suspect that the people in the photo didn't mean to suggest that, but their choice of language ended up doing it anyway

Correct. Sneaky thing that patriarchy.

[–]swirk 2 points3 points ago

Or as someone else suggested, it implies that it is an achievement for him to have gotten her, but not for her to have gotten him. IE she could have done better. So self-deprecating humor on his part. Haha, all that.

You can read into it anyway you want. Honestly I think it says more about you that your mind automatically jumps to sexism than it does about them where the wording is concerned.

[–]Marcob10 21 points22 points ago

Yeah, I'm so tired of weddings being all about the groom and him deciding everything!

[–]stone500 8 points9 points ago

Obviously you've never been part of the wedding. I bet you anything that this little sign was probably the one thing she let him decide on.

[–]Prone_Blocked 5 points6 points ago

Or just make a harmless joke everyone at the wedding probably got a good kick out of.

[–]imluckytometyou 47 points48 points ago

I don't know these people and I'm just sitting on my computer looking at pictures, but somehow I'm still so embarrassed by this.

[–]2pacsofgum 6 points7 points ago

It's ok, I felt it too.

[–]DefinitelyRelephant 844 points845 points ago

This is about the dumbest idea anyone's ever had.

[–]ashishduh 79 points80 points ago

Let ye who hath not beard on his neck, cast the first insult.

[–]DefinitelyRelephant 11 points12 points ago

I actually checked to make sure, and I didn't shave this morning. Well played.

[–]JustAnotherAcc86 203 points204 points ago

Clearly these decisions the couple made are terrible and should be judged by everyone in this thread. I mean, they really need to try harder to fit into the perfect mold of what each of us on reddit thinks is the correct way to behave at a wedding. It isn't like this is their moment to enjoy and look back on when they are older. So inconsiderate of them.

[–]Ashken 34 points35 points ago

Yeah! We don't take kindly to non-traditional wedding etiquette 'round here!

[–]PaddyO666 9 points10 points ago

Now, Skeeter, they ain't hurtin' nobody.

[–]CONGART 22 points23 points ago

She's gonna look back an wonder why it didn't say Acquire Spouse or Acquire Husband.

[–]rodmandirect 7 points8 points ago

For the record, I'm finding a lot of people on Reddit to be inconsiderate of what I judge of them.

[–]stephenlefty 7 points8 points ago

I thought it was gonna be a sign that said, "Now kiss".

[–]G8kpr 334 points335 points ago

I don't think so... it's their wedding, if they're both gamers then it's appropriate. I've heard of unique things done at weddings because of what the people are both into. As far as I'm concerned, it's their wedding, they can do as they like.

At the last wedding I was at, i was a best man, and the DJ introduced each wedding party member seperately, I had to go into a room of 200 strangers, dance like an idiot with large gold chains around my neck. It was all in good fun...

[–]Biomortis 19 points20 points ago

My wife and I had a gloriously geeky sci-fi/fantasy/gaming themed wedding. My mom thought a lot of the stuff was dumb like instead of having the bride and groom kiss by klinking your glasses, we printed up a chart on the back of the program and every table has a couple D20 dice and depending on what they rolled, we did, with a 20 being full on porn level kiss. Everybody loved it and we had people coming up to our table the whole night trying to roll 20's.

Other items of note, the processional was my guitar player doing "Here comes the bride" on overdriven guitar, Hendrix style, the recessional was Queen's Princes of the Universe, Dalek cake toppers, mini games on all the tables, a secular service carefully written to avoid religion but at the same time not offend the majority which were very religious people. And, while the theme was geeky in general, we still dressed in traditional tux and gown, despite my wife originally wanting to go full fantasy.

Almost everyone there came up to me and thanked me for not having the same old boring wedding that they were used to. Think about it, how many weddings have you gone to that you don't give a second thought? Making it fun and personal makes all the difference.

[–]roomagic 1 point2 points ago

Oh my gosh. I totally did the D20 thing too. Saw it on Offbeat Bride and fell in love. Everyone thought it was super awesome. We only had one critical hit, and it was the groom's dad. Awkward. :P Oh, and our cake toppers were companion cubes. I would post that on here, but I fear people may commit suicide at the idea, considering how much crazy people are getting over this pic.

[–]essextwo 33 points34 points ago

I concur, I found it charming. Fuck tradition, it's YOUR wedding, do what makes you happy.

[–]no_fatties 5 points6 points ago

I found it tacky. But to each their own. I wouldn't want someone telling me what to do at my wedding. Then again, I wouldn't really care what anyone thought about it either to be honest.

[–]GaijinFoot 55 points56 points ago

Isnt it the same as the cat lady bringing all her cats or a surfer bringing his board? Take a day off. What exactly are you dedicating yourself to? Xbox or a wife.

[–]SexualHerAssment 128 points129 points ago

Its a party centered around them, they should be free to do what they want with it.

[–]ilovegingermen 59 points60 points ago

The internet will always judge.

[–]no_fatties 28 points29 points ago

We reserve that right.

[–]TheRealAJohns 13 points14 points ago

Sadly Username relevant

[–]MySexAndDrugsAccount 8 points9 points ago

Freedom doesn't exempt them from criticism.

[–]Zaboodable 27 points28 points ago

Is that a trick question?

[–]Fartmatic 6 points7 points ago

A true cat lady probably would bring her cats.

[–]monkeyevil 15 points16 points ago

A joke, they are making a joke.

[–]OiGuvna 12 points13 points ago

Their wedding, their rules.

Shut up and enjoy.

[–]ElliotNess 8 points9 points ago

Hatersgonhate.gif

[–]wildbill185 17 points18 points ago

I catered a wedding that was sci-fi fantasy themed. It was epic. It is was in a room that is an exact replica of the Harry Potter great hall. It also had a head table as if for royalty, all the tables were named after Sci-Fi Fantasy lore (Middle Earth, Westeros, Serenity, etc.), and the entire wedding party was wearing chucks...neon chucks. It was a hell of a party.

[–]ac3raven 17 points18 points ago

He's just compulsively doing what the ghost of B.F. Skinner told him to do.

[–]iwannatalktosampson 4 points5 points ago

Salivating? That's not right but I'm close.

[–]TitusAndroidicus 5 points6 points ago

You're thinking of Ivan Pavlov-- the crazy Russian bastard with the dogs.

[–]staffell 14 points15 points ago

Not dumb, just offensively nerdy.

[–]syllabic 12 points13 points ago

It's ONE picture.. maybe if the whole wedding was HALO themed then ya, but this is cute.

[–]DidymusEi 12 points13 points ago

Should it not be some sort of play on the idea of marriage, not just "Obtain a wife"? Something like "Something Old, Something New..." or "Till Death Do Us Part..."?

I mean, The "Manipulator" achievement in Dishonored isn't called "Make the enemy kill five allies".

[–]imstillnotfunny 23 points24 points ago

I really expected him to be holding THIS sign up.

[–]chrissyg123 21 points22 points ago

and when he's 100%'d it he can trade it in

[–]pixelrage 8 points9 points ago

Nobody in their 50s and up in the audience got the joke.

[–]GWARgasm 5 points6 points ago

You youngsters aren't gonna trick me this time! I know that's from one of them fancy video games you play these days with all your high-tech gizmo buttons and electronics! Which one is it??

[–]theredeemer42 8 points9 points ago

In this thread, people who will never get married insulting people who have.

[–]ogenbite 7 points8 points ago

There's a lot of nerd-on-nerd bashing going on in these comments.

[–]kiduntilidie 74 points75 points ago

Opened the picture, braced self for size comments, realized reddit is filled with bitchy high school girls

[–]skysignor 78 points79 points ago

From this thread, it sounds more like reclusive and bitter young men

[–]blaghart 1 point2 points ago

That might be why they're all whining. I think this is awesome.

[–]EveryoneElseIsWrong 51 points52 points ago

that's an insult to high school girls, quite frankly, because we ALL know that these comments are written mostly by men. stop using comparisons to girls as insults.

[–]Litemode 17 points18 points ago

While I agree with you on the bitchy part this is clearly a bunch of lonely young men ranting about stuff they clearly know absolutely nothing about. Tbh. I'd prefer bitchy girls. :-\

[–]Brittybotts 24 points25 points ago

I actually think that's hilarious. If my fiancé loved xbox, I would allow him to have that in the wedding.

But my boyfriend prefers PS3, anyway. "You have earned a trophy" doesn't make as much sense as a achievement.

[–]blorcit 22 points23 points ago

Trophy wife?

[–]Brittybotts 11 points12 points ago

"You have earned a trophy

...WIFE"

Yep, we are having this in the wedding now. Thanks, Blorcit!

[–]alex9001 2 points3 points ago

haha, are you serious?

[–]gwrober 86 points87 points ago

You guys are dicks!

[–]skysignor 31 points32 points ago

It's a Monday morning - all these people are heading to jobs they fricken hate and use reddit as a way to vent. I mean, think about it, this is someone's wedding they can't even find joy in. Yikes.

[–]webhead311 23 points24 points ago

Tell me about it man. Reddits become so damn negative.

[–]josh024 2 points3 points ago

this is a good link to save for when people start claiming reddit doesn't hate women

[–]webhead311 82 points83 points ago

Damn, some of you guys here are assholes.

[–]skysignor 23 points24 points ago

They're not assholes. They just have a lot of trouble being happy for other people. Nothing a few therapy sessions couldn't help with.

[–]d-nj 33 points34 points ago

Actually, I'm pretty sure they're assholes.

[–]coppersink 2 points3 points ago

You're both right.

[–]itsjakez 5 points6 points ago

For real. It's a fucking joke. It's their wedding. Not yours, you fat white neck beards.

[–]that_physics_guy 48 points49 points ago

For supposedly being so progressive and accepting of other people, you guys sure are assholes to overweight people and someone who wants to do their wedding their own way.

[–]RainbowBrittle 19 points20 points ago

Did anybody else simply think it was cute? Weddings are usually the bride's show. Besides picking his groomsmen, this was probably the only other thing he wanted.

[–]bo87 6 points7 points ago

Thaaank you!! I'm glad someone said it. One sign for him:6 months of planning for her.

[–]seanmharcailin 52 points53 points ago

I love when people do fun things at weddings to make it more than just same old same old.

[–]bannedlol 437 points438 points ago

Now I can get fat.

Oh wait.

[–]February30th 206 points207 points ago

This is harsh - I don't think he's fat at all.

[–]flooberses 63 points64 points ago

heh

[–]pepitko 45 points46 points ago

Ah, the good ol' Reddit scoobydoo.

[–]geusebio 25 points26 points ago

I miss the switchamafuckit.

[–]neverpostedsc 11 points12 points ago

I know what you were going for, but he actually is kinda big.

[–]jleonardbc 64 points65 points ago

Came here to see how far down I'd have to scroll to find a fat joke.

I'm both disappointed and undisappointed...appointed? Mostly disappointed.

[–]Intrepid00 8 points9 points ago

Realistic.

[–]insomniacpyro 8 points9 points ago

Achievement Unlocked: Of course I want extra mayonnaise!

[–]ArkTangent 3 points4 points ago

Dear Dan Savage, I'm getting married for the second time on the same account. My wife knows I have been married, but I'm worried that the lack of an achievement will cause her embarrassment at the ceremony. Are there any other romantic achievements I could try for during the ceremony? No religious issues but we will have some fairly conservative relatives in attendance.
Game Gamer Groom

[–]roomagic 2 points3 points ago

All right. I have to say something. This is a picture of my brand new husband and myself. Many of you are saying that this picture is proof that the wedding was all about him. The sign was MY idea.

[–]esushi 113 points114 points ago

Really? Fat jokes? The OP knows this couple and might have wanted them to see the thread... But now hopefully they don't. You all are sad and miserable.

[–]SenorHindsight 24 points25 points ago

You don't think she knows she's fat?

TV has been telling her since she was 5...

[–]methyboy 0 points1 point ago

You think that it doesn't still hurt to have dozens of people yell "MAN THE HARPOONS" and other bullshit in reference to her wedding photo?

[–]Yofi 12 points13 points ago

Fat guy: reddit identifies with him and declares him awesome

Fat girl: MAN THE HARPOONS HURR DURR

[–]Sharkpig 26 points27 points ago

I am seriously disappointed at the comments on this thread. I opened it up expecting more respect than this. None of you know the story behind this picture, you can't even begin to make judgements as to why they did this the way that they did.

[–]phedre 60 points61 points ago

I opened it up expecting more respect than this.

You haven't been here long - I took one look at the picture and I KNEW what I'd find in here - same as you see anytime a woman's picture is posted. Either she's OMG HOT and you get creeper comments, or there's something "wrong" with her and she gets ripped to shreds by the oh-so-perfect and discerning boys of reddit.

[–]RedGoatSurprise 29 points30 points ago

I'm not disappointed, because I knew exactly what would be in this thread. It meets my expectations perfectly.

I knew these things would be said:

  • People complaining about context (achievement title)

  • People complaining about people complaining about context (achievement title)

  • Fat Jokes

  • People complaining about fat jokes

  • Extremely sexist/creeper comments

  • White knights overcompensating with complements.

  • Random stormfront post that gets upvoted halfway up the page

These comments are in almost every pic-post with a female in it. And the last one is in every comment thread, no matter what the subject.

[–]argumentinvalid 3 points4 points ago

lol, this is /r/funny. I completely expected this thread to be full of fat jokes.

[–]Vsx 5 points6 points ago

Errr what? 99.9999% chance one or both of them are gamers and thought it would be a cool/quirky thing to do. The "you don't know me" Maury Povich defense does not apply here. You can't really blame Reddit for thinking it's tacky because it is. That said, when you get married you are free to (and should) do whatever the fuck you want. People are then free to judge you and you are free to not give a shit. That's called being an adult.

The fat jokes are just your standard douchebags upvoting each other.

[–]KopOut 3 points4 points ago

Here's a crazy thought: if you don't want the opinions of strangers, don't solicit the opinions of strangers.

[–]ivenoideawhat 2 points3 points ago

If black people can call each other niggers fat people should be allowed to call others fat.

[–]skysignor 10 points11 points ago

ITT: Reddit's dark day of having far more negativity than enthusiasm... about someone's wedding

[–]Earth_bound_misfit 31 points32 points ago

Wow, any anti bullying campaigning I've ever seen has been on Reddit... And after all of that you have shown me, still this thread is a disgusting example of hiding behind a computer screen and talking shit about someone purely to entertain yourself. Why do you feel the need to make fun of someone's looks? GOD FUCKING FORBID SOMEONE GETS HAPPILY MARRIED. Your comments only negatively affect their lives. Why would you want to make anyone feel like that? I don't get it. you fucking dicks.

[–]argumentinvalid 8 points9 points ago

The people posting the anti-bullying links/information probably aren't the same people making fat jokes....there are hundreds of thousands of users on reddit.

You mean everyone on reddit isn't the same? This is the nature of the internet my friend.

[–]jakemyers7 10 points11 points ago

I'm happy they found love, I'll admit I'm jealous.

[–]deleigh 27 points28 points ago

Gotta love reddit hypocrisy. You can donate 600,000 to a victim of bullying, constantly lambast le skyfundies for putting down gays and atheists, but you self-righteous fucks always seem to not care when it comes to fat people. Seriously, what the fuck?

[–]tha_snazzle 44 points45 points ago

It's almost as if reddit is not all the same people!

[–]deleigh 4 points5 points ago

Of course they aren't, but when all the replies and jokes pointing out the woman's weight are upvoted (not anymore thankfully, but when I made my reply they were), that's what's called a hivemind, which is what I was pointing out.

[–]Bananinator 4 points5 points ago

Still, an ''upvoted comment'' only needs a few hundred people agreeing with it. That's still just a fraction of the entire userbase.

[–]DoWeCare 4 points5 points ago

2 million sub to just /r/funny

LETS JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS AND CALL ALL OF REDDIT OUT FOR WHAT A FEW ANONYMOUS PEOPLE SAID!!!!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]jarvolt 5 points6 points ago

FWIW, I cringed. Then again most of the posts on /r/funny have that effect on me anyway.

[–]Paddykg 6 points7 points ago

Cringeworthy how serious you took that comment.

[–]Abedeus 9 points10 points ago

I cringed when I saw this shit.... not funny, just sad to look at.

[–]JavaLSU 4 points5 points ago

If I were at that wedding I would have cringed.

[–]Matt773175 2 points3 points ago

How did this get 75 up votes......

[–]cbfw86 15 points16 points ago

That is so tacky.

[–]FlashF0x 19 points20 points ago

Holy shit I didn't expect so many people to be assholes in this thread.

[–]GWARgasm 17 points18 points ago

Welcome to Reddit

[–]legumee 2 points3 points ago

first day on internet

[–]antpile11 10 points11 points ago

It doesn't have the part where it shows how much gamerscore the achievement is worth.

[–]MiaVee 13 points14 points ago

I actually think this is sweet. Not the most original idea ever, but what does it matter? It's something personal to them on their wedding day and probably gave a giggle to a bunch of attending guests.

Though the "obtain a wife" phrasing is a bit uncomfortable, but if she was OK with it then where's the harm? Personally I'd be more inclined to opt for the "Get Married" achievement from Skyrim, mind. More...equal.

Right from seeing the thumbnail I was cringing in expectation of fat jokes aplenty. Reddit delivered. Goddamn. I think she looks beautiful, the dress is gorgeous too. Good for them :D

[–]PhantomPumpkin 9 points10 points ago

Gotta love this thread and the fat jokes. Statistically, the vast majority are most likely either fat themselves, or scrawny beanpoles. Stay classy Reddit!

[–]GWARgasm 1 point2 points ago

Wanna have sex?

[–]alexxxor 9 points10 points ago

awkward +10

[–]everydayimlurkin 12 points13 points ago

White knights out in full force this morning.

[–]Milkshaker74 9 points10 points ago

Looks like he just won at the Game of Life...haha!....sigh....i'm so lonely

[–]d-nj 19 points20 points ago

....fat jokes from neckbeards? Stay classy, reddit.

[–]myhomeboyschevy 25 points26 points ago

neckbeard jokes from....? oh wait, im not going to try to guess what you look like. i dont know why you did.

[–]GFandango 7 points8 points ago

You can smell the self-hate in the air

[–]CN5 0 points1 point ago

Hmm...Was expecting 'NOW KISS!', but this is pretty good too.

[–]f0rcedinducti0n 1 point2 points ago

that's like 1.5x the achievement...

[–]elloelloello 0 points1 point ago

it was on easy mode

[–]Artypi 12 points13 points ago

It's their wedding, they liked it, they had a good time. Fuck you guys, seriously.

[–]win2j 5 points6 points ago

Fuck the comments here man. Congrats you guys.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]testdex 10 points11 points ago

"a wife"

[–]puppyciao 6 points7 points ago

I'm cringing so fucking hard.

[–]Dooey123 7 points8 points ago

First read it as "ORBIT A WIFE", thought that was pretty cruel.

[–]Ffrenzy 4 points5 points ago

[–]FrankGrimesJr 4 points5 points ago

Somehow "officiator" does not sound correct (unless it's Arnold Schwarzenegger in an hilarious new comedy). Although Merriam-Webster seems fine with the word, I'm sticking with officiant.

[–]bru_tech 9 points10 points ago

I find this hilarious and awesome. The old people making up the majority of guests and family would think I'm an idiot

[–]jl45 7 points8 points ago

shit like is so fucking embarrassing, I don't know why people do it.

[–]Kalanth 3 points4 points ago

Next achievment, Getting her to do some P90X.

[–]skysignor 10 points11 points ago

OH SNAP fat joke alert!! There's really never enough of these on the internet

[–]EveryoneElseIsWrong 6 points7 points ago

he's not looking too trim himself

[–]M33Pmeep 2 points3 points ago

..It's just a light hearted joke at a wedding.

[–]theFUNtes 3 points4 points ago

So most redditors don't know the ins and outs of relationships, I wish I could say I'm surprised. It's their day and they can celebrate however they'd like. No need to throw insults their way because some of you are basement dwelling forever alones.

[–]faployst 2 points3 points ago

Fuck the haters. If you're hating this you're lying to yourself. Everyone here would die laughing and start cheering if they saw this at a wedding.