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2451
2452

That seems about right. (imgur.com)

submitted ago by RhapsodyQ

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[–]NotAnAmbulanceDriver 482 points483 points ago

I think I know how he hurt his wrist.

[–]miksta3 311 points312 points ago

flipping through the pages too intensely

[–]dingusmonger 121 points122 points ago

Flipping them backwards in an attempt to unread what he saw.

[–]Gramma42ton 47 points48 points ago

Joke's on you, he can't read.

[–]Awkward-Truth 28 points29 points ago

Joke's on you, that's his O-Face....

load more comments (4 replies)

    [–]courtFTW 0 points1 point ago

    Doesn't work, I've already tried that.

    [–]FalseFactsOrg 29 points30 points ago

    FLAP FLAP FLAP

    [–]cousinroman 77 points78 points ago

    this is what he was thinking

    [–]funkytaco 0 points1 point ago

    The ear is a perfectly good orifice for a penis

    load more comments (12 replies)

      load more comments (13 replies)

        [–]courtFTW 38 points39 points ago

        probably a lot of facepalming.

        [–]GrannyBacon81 1 point2 points ago

        So here is a reading of one of the raunchy scenes (as read by Steven Hawkins)... here

        load more comments (20 replies)

          [–]jezuschryzt 147 points148 points ago

          "Oh, that's nasty..."

          [–]no_no_NO_okay 86 points87 points ago

          can't not read this in cleveland's voice

          [–]Forhavu 21 points22 points ago

          "Why yes, I sure would love to enlarge my penis"

          -Morgan Freeman.

          [–]yellowdart57 2 points3 points ago

          It's best as read by Gilbert Gottfried

          [–]SmokeyDBear 2 points3 points ago

          I don't think Morgan Freeman has ever been recorded saying the word "penis" yet somehow I know exactly what it would sound like. Fucking speech processing centers of the brain, how do they work?

          load more comments (1 reply)

            [–]LetMeStateTheObvious 6 points7 points ago

            (That's the joke)

            load more comments (1 reply)

              [–]bukakketroll 216 points217 points ago

              CHICAGO!

              [–]bender445 77 points78 points ago

              Never a dull moment on the CTA, really.

              [–]PeterROTTENTail 22 points23 points ago

              I agree, I've seen crazy people, piss, puke, and a lot of other messed up stuff

              [–]The_other_Aphex_twin 23 points24 points ago

              I've seen a dude brown-bagging liquor threaten to whip out a pistol and shoot another passenger, and said passenger later took a swig of the dude's drink. Crazy shit on the CTA.

              [–]Uranium387 24 points25 points ago

              I've seen enough knife fights on el platforms to know that nothing good happens after 3am

              [–]The_other_Aphex_twin 23 points24 points ago

              universal truth

              [–]peteequalsrobot 3 points4 points ago

              your username. I like it.

              [–]Mantup 14 points15 points ago

              I once got called security on me for "being a nigger." I am white. Another time, there was a drunk crazy man threatening to shank anyone who comes near him. Security, nor passengers, never went near him.

              [–]ScottCarmichael 4 points5 points ago

              That's the thing with the CTA - those crazy bums can't ride the bus all day long --- but they can stay on the trains all day practically.

              [–]poeticpoet 8 points9 points ago

              Once saw two humans doing number 2 into a plastic bag. I win.

              [–]FlyMalcolmX 5 points6 points ago

              2x2=4

              [–]Smelly_dildo 4 points5 points ago

              2+2=5 ignorance is truth freedom is slavery

              [–]down_vote_magnet 0 points1 point ago

              2 Humans, 1 Bag

              [–]poeticpoet 0 points1 point ago

              To clarify: One person was holding the bag while the other did his or her business. The person holding the bag then proclaims "now remember you have to hold thebag for me next." Oddly enough, the passengers and i didn't say a word or care until it started smelling.

              [–]suchende 1 point2 points ago

              Nothing interesting ever happens at my el stop. River north problems.

              [–]marrch 0 points1 point ago

              Well thanks... I've gotta go to work on the el in about an hour.

              [–]kowalofjericho 8 points9 points ago

              I was once asked how it feels to be white on the blue line. I replied, "very uncomfortable"

              [–]wildkilliams 6 points7 points ago

              You must be from the suburbs.

              [–]djkaty 5 points6 points ago

              There seems to be a lot of sensationalized suburban commentary in this thread. Blue liner here...white girl...no problem.

              [–]llobster 2 points3 points ago

              Agreed. I took the red line to 95th once. Still alive.

              [–]giandrea 1 point2 points ago

              I was in Chicago for 4 months and I was robbed on the blue line. 10pm. Me and my friend...

              [–]kowalofjericho 0 points1 point ago

              Ravenswood

              [–]The_other_Aphex_twin 7 points8 points ago

              Any other answer is unacceptable. I personally try to "out-crazy" everyone else on the train, I'm still alive, so that must be a testament to my method.

              load more comments (2 replies)

                [–]Mojo_Nixon 1 point2 points ago

                Boston's the same. One time, I went to get on a train pretty late at night. I went to what I thought was an empty car with a few other people, and there were two fat gay guys going at it doggy style in the car. When they saw us, one yelled "fuck off. This is a private car" and continued their fuck. When a transit cop saw the group of people standing at the door with dumbfounded looks on their faces, the guys got up and took off running...bare ass naked.

                [–]Klager 1 point2 points ago

                Counter Terrorist Agency?

                [–]swagberg 20 points21 points ago

                I was actually thinking we could start an r/peopleofthecta. it would be amusing, at the least.

                [–]solidwhetstone 9 points10 points ago

                how about /r/ctacreepshots?

                [–]ScottCarmichael 5 points6 points ago

                That would be just about all of Chicago's residents.

                [–]diablien 7 points8 points ago

                Hey, I resemble that remark

                [–]ScottCarmichael 0 points1 point ago

                Don't worry, I used to too.

                load more comments (1 reply)

                  [–]tomdarch 14 points15 points ago

                  simply god awful graphic design for those CTA info-graphics. I've spent too many hours of my life staring at them and being annoyed.

                  [–]amyeep 0 points1 point ago

                  they can learn a friendly thing or two from the mta

                  [–]mellooo 11 points12 points ago

                  One of the most beautiful cities I've ever been to

                  [–]intertron1 3 points4 points ago

                  So you are saying you don't travel much?

                  [–]mellooo 3 points4 points ago

                  Well not too much but it was definitely beautiful. I didn't expect it to be so nice

                  [–]vote4boat 1 point2 points ago

                  I was pleasantly surprised also. and I have traveled a good amount.

                  [–]kowalofjericho 1 point2 points ago

                  http://peopleofthecta.wordpress.com/

                  [–]johnnyoldspice77 2 points3 points ago

                  This hasn't been updated in a few years.

                  [–]imjusthereforthe 1 point2 points ago

                  Read that in Jim Carrey's voice.

                  [–]Scootercow 4 points5 points ago

                  Most likely the green line

                  [–]Mantup 1 point2 points ago

                  I agree. Way too not scary/gross/threatening to be the red line.

                  [–]nickbrums 2 points3 points ago

                  Red Line has to be the worst...

                  [–]Broken_S_Key 1 point2 points ago

                  everyone at my school insists on the red line to go between campuses. i ve gone twice and regretted it both times. its a lot like the brown line, except the sketchy looking people feel a little less friendly.

                  [–]LittleMichael 2 points3 points ago

                  Loyola!

                  [–]Broken_S_Key 3 points4 points ago

                  depaul here. but yall know whats up too

                  [–]Zorcmsr5 2 points3 points ago

                  Fellow DePaul redditor! Whadddup

                  [–]6h057 2 points3 points ago

                  "Sketchy" between Fullerton and Jackson? Are you joking?

                  [–]Broken_S_Key 0 points1 point ago

                  The rest of it. I've had to use it to get other places

                  load more comments (1 reply)

                    [–]comment_filibuster 0 points1 point ago

                    I always wind up sitting in piss on the L...

                    [–]vstaros 0 points1 point ago

                    I saw a guy try to kill himself by climbing out of the train and yelling "Imma do it!! Imma do it" while his girlfriend yelled back "Well... Go ahead!" .... Never did it.

                    load more comments (1 reply)

                      [–]xplodingboy07 130 points131 points ago

                      "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." - Fifty Shades of Grey, Chapter 3

                      [–]PringleGuy 164 points165 points ago

                      Actually, I'm pretty sure that's from the Bible.

                      [–]Vajician 138 points139 points ago

                      "Whoosh"

                      -Abraham Lincoln

                      [–]romneyeatsspinach 47 points48 points ago

                      Was Abraham Lincoln in the bible? I stopped reading after the zombie chapters.

                      [–]PecanSoup 26 points27 points ago

                      Technically, he would be in Revelations, along with anyone who has ever lived.

                      [–]ThaHarterIII 19 points20 points ago

                      only bible kids will get this

                      [–]Zaiton 6 points7 points ago

                      Like if you're reading in 2012!

                      [–]Forhavu 8 points9 points ago

                      You leave and take your technicality and logic with you!

                      [–]docmedic 21 points22 points ago

                      My friends and I once mistook a radio channel as some kind of porn reading channel, and we were like no way there's a radio porn channel, but it turned out to be a Christian channel.

                      [–]I3aisden 14 points15 points ago

                      Timothy 2:12

                      [–]elusiveinhouston 18 points19 points ago

                      Actually, it's Ezekiel 23:20.

                      Timothy 2:12 is "I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.".

                      The bible is kinda fucked up sometimes.

                      [–]I3aisden 1 point2 points ago

                      Just sharing a personal favorite

                      [–]StormSeason 1 point2 points ago

                      Psalm 137

                      load more comments (4 replies)

                        [–]TomtheWonderDog 4 points5 points ago

                        So, what you're saying is, Fifty Shades of Grey is the latest testament and E.L. James is God's new prophet?

                        [–]canadian028 64 points65 points ago

                        He's... So far into the book... FOR SHAME.

                        [–]aeiou23 52 points53 points ago

                        Look at his face, he's feeling that shame.

                        [–]tomdarch 10 points11 points ago

                        I took it as "damn. white folks are nasty." (see comments elsewhere in this thread about "the tampon scene".)

                        load more comments (2 replies)

                          [–]BlessedConstipation 4 points5 points ago

                          Why is that shame? He's just trying to understand the other half.

                          [–]L_Porter 0 points1 point ago

                          Speed-reader: it's all building up within the confines of one unforgettable train ride.

                          [–]Annarr 0 points1 point ago

                          Someone probably gave it to him and he flipped it open and started reading a random page.

                          [–]Jeroknite 37 points38 points ago

                          That's his orgasm face.

                          [–]denverNUGGs 18 points19 points ago

                          Vinegar strokes

                          [–]Akuish 1 point2 points ago

                          sploosh

                          [–]LazyWhoreBitch 20 points21 points ago

                          I like how he's most of the way through the book and is still making that face.

                          [–]WrinklesTheFalmer 8 points9 points ago

                          That's how I was an hour into birdemic shock and terror.

                          [–]lacharvat 21 points22 points ago

                          He got to the period part.

                          [–]GraveyardDiva 24 points25 points ago

                          I wonder if he reached the part with the tampon yet...

                          [–]ReallyShouldStudy 19 points20 points ago

                          Uhh... care to explain?

                          [–]Give_it_a_Read 54 points55 points ago

                          Not really. but basically he pulls it out throws it into a sink and rides the red seas.

                          [–]AdamEdge 191 points192 points ago

                          My reaction to that

                          [–]nisarganatey 29 points30 points ago

                          I salute this!

                          [–]SOMETHING_INAPPROPRO 44 points45 points ago

                          ...This actually happens in real life.

                          [–]Shiftkgb 35 points36 points ago

                          I have sex with my girlfriend when she's on her period. I really don't see the big deal, it's not as nice but it's still good

                          [–]zingah 48 points49 points ago

                          TIL reddit is mainly single teenagers.

                          [–]NewOpinion 14 points15 points ago

                          All the memes and the state of r/funny didn't tip you off to that?

                          [–]Shiftkgb 1 point2 points ago

                          I guess it's the flow of the internet, arm-chair experts who've never done what they're commenting on :/

                          [–]Bewbtube 7 points8 points ago

                          It's the imagery of pulling a bloody tampon out and throwing it into the sink that's disgusting not the actual period sex.

                          [–]Fish_Love 2 points3 points ago

                          I agree. Its so unclean. It's the fact that someone else pulls it out (as a girl I find this sensation to be one of worst feels!) and just plunges in, without even a tiny clean up. Gah! Totally not my thing!

                          [–]Bewbtube 3 points4 points ago

                          Jesus, I'M EATING BREAKFAST HERE.

                          [–]Fish_Love -1 points0 points ago

                          Shhhh!!! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP OVER HERE!

                          [–]Bewbtube 0 points1 point ago

                          I hope your dreams are filled with men pulling tampons out of you! <3

                          [–]lilblake91 -1 points0 points ago

                          Brb going fap

                          [–]onowahoo 1 point2 points ago

                          No it isnt.

                          load more comments (2 replies)

                            load more comments (54 replies)

                              [–]herpedurp 18 points19 points ago

                              free lube.

                              [–]WilsonHanks 8 points9 points ago

                              Like a real pirate should.

                              [–]zingah 19 points20 points ago

                              Really? I've done that, a number of times. I thought it was just part of growing up. It's called earning your red wings.

                              Tantricas do it all the time.

                              Anyway, tastes irony. But you really don't need to go down far to get the job done.

                              Edit: haha, downvote! Periods are scary!

                              [–]clide701 8 points9 points ago

                              I prefer to call it war paint.

                              load more comments (1 reply)

                                [–]vegeto079 9 points10 points ago

                                The gross part isn't so much that he's having sex with her on her period (which really isn't that strange or weird). It's more that he rips it out of her and pretty much forces himself on her, along with the whole insecure-shell-of-a-character thing going on and the woman just accepting the rape because he's a man with a lot of money.

                                [–]ReallyShouldStudy 4 points5 points ago

                                OH GOD. I regret asking.

                                [–]VaguelyCondescending 1 point2 points ago

                                Tossed it in the sink?

                                Catherine Breillat just chuckled pompously.

                                http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m80q9ngxED1qly1b6o4_500.png

                                (Awful movie)

                                load more comments (1 reply)

                                  [–]GraveyardDiva 0 points1 point ago

                                  I could, but honestly you're better not knowing. live in the joy of ignorance.

                                  [–]clr257 6 points7 points ago

                                  Ha, also read the sign about immediate safety right by his head. Its even better now!

                                  [–]DriedFrupcakes 321 points322 points ago

                                  Fiddy shades of Grey

                                  [–]chocolatesandwiches 113 points114 points ago

                                  Fifty Shades of Cray

                                  [–]EasyCheezie 59 points60 points ago

                                  http://i.imgur.com/hAW3K.gif

                                  [–]MarkSWH 29 points30 points ago

                                  I didn't know there was a sequel to the "that's racist" gif...

                                  [–]-jellybeans- 37 points38 points ago

                                  Fiddy $hade$ of Grey

                                  [–]shinyheadman 71 points72 points ago

                                  Fiddy $hade$ of Cray.

                                  There, now everyone is happy.

                                  [–]westcoastpopart 25 points26 points ago

                                  LOL! he's black so ummm ebonics

                                  [–]kris10amanda 0 points1 point ago

                                  I couldn't get into this book, I tried...but Once I got to the part where he pulled out her bloody tampon and was like hey lets take a bath, I just couldn't continue.

                                  load more comments (14 replies)

                                    [–]tehweave 21 points22 points ago

                                    I can't tell if that's his "This sickens me" face or "Yeah, bitch. Take it" face.

                                    [–]haiku_robot 21 points22 points ago

                                    I can't tell if that's 
his "This sickens me" face or "
Yeah, bitch. Take it" face.

                                    [–]tehweave 22 points23 points ago

                                    Yup. That's exactly what I wrote.

                                    [–]AriBBCP 9 points10 points ago

                                    yeah, but now you get to read it really awkwardly!

                                    [–]SmokeyDBear 0 points1 point ago

                                    I was already reading everything in this thread awkwardly.

                                    [–]crismess 9 points10 points ago

                                    This was my face throughout most of the three books. I still masturbated furiously after every chapter, though.

                                    [–]Westfall_Bum 5 points6 points ago

                                    There's THREE?!

                                    [–]crismess 0 points1 point ago

                                    There's three. The first one is the kinkiest. The final two are just a man and a woman fighting and making up and holding each other while crying and it's impossible to get aroused.

                                    [–]WowzersInMyTrowzers 1 point2 points ago

                                    Hey, at least you're honest

                                    [–]Mharr3456 40 points41 points ago

                                    "Yeah, Nigga... Get that shit..."

                                    [–]fifa10 3 points4 points ago

                                    Aw naw she dint..

                                    [–]BasedSatan 7 points8 points ago

                                    the things you can find on the cta..

                                    [–]omgkjadfl 5 points6 points ago

                                    The best review of the book: http://thepunchbowl.net/2012/10/12/fifty-shades-of-fucked-up/

                                    [–]Bee_Kamiya 6 points7 points ago

                                    I've just started reading it, I have been making that same face.

                                    [–]gama69g 3 points4 points ago

                                    You only need to read the first paragraph. The book is written terribly and the sex scenes are dull.

                                    [–]Bee_Kamiya 1 point2 points ago

                                    I've rolled my eyes many times and I have been compiling a mental list of similarities between it and Twilight, since it's supposed to be fan fic. However, I've never really read a girly sex book like this before so I don't mind continuing. Errr, for science.

                                    load more comments (1 reply)

                                      [–]cagesandalarms257 4 points5 points ago

                                      I know him. He produced a show I did in college.

                                      [–]Alpha_Link 0 points1 point ago

                                      Yep, that's the CTA alright.

                                      [–]phatphace 0 points1 point ago

                                      Why is it now OK to take photos/videos of strangers and post them, without consent, to a highly visited media sharing forum?

                                      [–]Xoga 2 points3 points ago

                                      At first I thought this was 4chan and the title was ironic about a black man reading...

                                      [–]quartzar_the_king 2 points3 points ago

                                      He's probably just wincing at how terrible the writing is. I read (most of) it a few weeks ago mainly for banter, but couldn't finish just because of how shitty her writing style is. It honestly feels like she had an eighth grader write it, and then added in the sex and used microsoft word's thesaurus to make her vocabulary seem more extensive. I swear, the times in that book that someone 'darkly mutters' something.....

                                      [–]BulletRaves 3 points4 points ago

                                      I would suggest taking the signs advice.

                                      [–]OPRF 3 points4 points ago

                                      Chicago Brown Line?

                                      [–]leafsleafs17 34 points35 points ago

                                      Can't tell if it's an actual subway line or if you're a racist...

                                      [–]NiteBuffet 26 points27 points ago

                                      He's racist. There's no way you can tell which L line that is just by the picture, but if I had to guess it's probably the Red line to 95th.

                                      [–]mustardtruck 27 points28 points ago

                                      Now THAT'S what I call racist!

                                      [–]killiangray 6 points7 points ago

                                      Mmmm, that's some good CTA line stereotyping.

                                      [–]AmyDangerous 12 points13 points ago

                                      SOCK SALE! CHEAP AS HALE

                                      [–]relikh 4 points5 points ago

                                      Only AFTER Jackson. To Howard if it's before Jackson.

                                      [–]shamalamabigdong 1 point2 points ago

                                      It's the trees outside that give it away. That's down past Sox/35th.

                                      [–]Broken_S_Key -1 points0 points ago

                                      the only subway in chicago is the red line, and thats only underground for a few stops.

                                      [–]trullette 2 points3 points ago

                                      All joking aside, this dude should probably see about getting some glasses. That face isn't just a "WTF did I just read??" face. Those eye squints are telling.

                                      [–]aryst0krat -1 points0 points ago

                                      That's his O face.

                                      [–]tendeuchen -1 points0 points ago

                                      He just got to the part about the tampon...

                                      [–]oskyyo -1 points0 points ago

                                      OH! That's fucking perfect.

                                      [–]MezzaCorux -1 points0 points ago

                                      The sad part is that he is that far into the book

                                      [–]HonkeyFresh -1 points0 points ago

                                      Now that there kids are some good ol' fashioned vinegar strokes

                                      [–]brotherbearbeta 0 points1 point ago

                                      I bet it was the green line in chicago.

                                      [–]bobbygabbagool 0 points1 point ago

                                      "Dafuq?"

                                      [–]mozza5 0 points1 point ago

                                      Alright, i'm lazy. Now that we have that out of the way, is it really that graphic?

                                      [–]nerdtothecore 0 points1 point ago

                                      well....there's a story there. However, it fades in the background compared to all the sex they are having. After a while, it just gets boring to read her say that he looked at her darkly, or that he touched her 'down there'!

                                      [–]Scenro 0 points1 point ago

                                      That book must suck!

                                      [–]101yellowdaffodils 0 points1 point ago

                                      damn, am i the only person who hasn't read this book?

                                      [–]ehjhockey 0 points1 point ago

                                      CHICAGO RED LINE! Best moments of human ridiculousness ever. Does it have its own subreddit yet?

                                      [–]theawkwardprofessor 0 points1 point ago

                                      Not sure if grunt of approval or of disgust...

                                      [–]Acaz 0 points1 point ago

                                      I just don't understand why people would buy 50 Shades...

                                      Don't they understand the primary purpose of the Internet?? FREE PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL!

                                      [–]Hannah95 0 points1 point ago

                                      What a very nice place to read that book

                                      [–]tmbyfc 0 points1 point ago

                                      I make the same face when I read writing that bad.

                                      [–]MintySquinty 1 point2 points ago

                                      All the people saying he can't read 'cause of him being black are full of shit. He broke his hand fapping and now that he can't fap and hold the book at the same time anymore the acts described disgust him.

                                      [–]Narretz 0 points1 point ago

                                      Yesterday, a girl was sitting opposite to me on the train, checking me out now and then while she was reading. I looked at the book, it was Shades of Grey. Avoided all eye contact.

                                      [–]Cactusgun 0 points1 point ago

                                      I know that loving feel bro

                                      [–]threecolorless 0 points1 point ago

                                      Twist: he's cringing just from the writing style.

                                      [–]robotikempire 1 point2 points ago

                                      I really just thought this was a jab at black people not being able to read until I saw the comments.

                                      [–]4433221 0 points1 point ago

                                      Move to another car if your immediate safety is threatened?

                                      [–]paranormal_username 0 points1 point ago

                                      Why is his right hand broken?

                                      [–]josephanthony -1 points0 points ago

                                      "Dammnn gurl - you nasty!"

                                      [–]alphaCEO 0 points1 point ago

                                      All the funny and realistic comments are downvoted cause political correctness.

                                      [–]teddydude30 0 points1 point ago

                                      How did he get that far into the book?

                                      [–]Shesha 1 point2 points ago

                                      This is the first thing I thought of, and I still want this shirt.

                                      http://www.hockeydrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/i_like_cats.jpg

                                      [–]billiamf 0 points1 point ago

                                      Shouldn't he be moving to another car?

                                      [–]HotbutteryToast 0 points1 point ago

                                      Note he is over half way through it.....

                                      [–]TheSkiFreeYeti -1 points0 points ago

                                      He's having trouble reading. I blame the schools.

                                      [–]oneoffaccountok 0 points1 point ago

                                      "516 pages of What the Fuck?" Made me laugh.

                                      [–]nathann7 1 point2 points ago

                                      creepshots

                                      [–]Gingee 0 points1 point ago

                                      Jacob Taylor really let himself go...

                                      [–]ignorantwhitetrash 0 points1 point ago

                                      Am I the only one that has no idea what this book is about? My professor even made a joke about it the other day, I laughed as I pretended to know but sorta glad I don't know about it...should I care?

                                      [–]broadestdabakes 1 point2 points ago

                                      Is it bad that I laughed before I saw the Fifty Shades of Grey part?

                                      [–]inhumancannonball 1 point2 points ago

                                      The obligatory "I will make a stinky face so no one will know I am turned on" routine.

                                      [–]_Action_Bastard 0 points1 point ago

                                      Must be on the red line.

                                      [–]micahshell 0 points1 point ago

                                      I like to read this sometimes.

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