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2147
2148

Gay? - Daniel Sloss (imgur.com)

submitted ago by InternetTouchesMe

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[–]doronberlin 1131 points1132 points ago

sample size. only conclusion is for him to try more penises to get to the bottom of this uncertainty

[–]meAndb 201 points202 points ago

He can try my penis.

[–]Abezilla116 91 points92 points ago

Now reddit, answer me why I had to go this far into the thread to find this response. I'm disappointed in you.

[–]Donkey_Schlong 67 points68 points ago

It's the top comment, it's not that far.

[–]xavis 40 points41 points ago

not 2 hours ago.

[–]MadHatter69 23 points24 points ago

Now you're splitting hairs.

[–]Primarch359 11 points12 points ago

Now your splitting legs

[–]Rampant_Durandal 2 points3 points ago

Better than splitting penis.

[–]rotidder4lyfe 2 points3 points ago

splitting penis hairs

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          [–]JonnyPowerSauce 0 points1 point ago

          Well then.

          [–]Mikuro 535 points536 points ago

          You knew it was coming: relevant XKCD.

          [–]TheRealFlop 24 points25 points ago

          I knew which one this was before I ever clicked on the link, but I still in clicked it anyway. Someday they'll all be purple...forever.

          [–]ssg115 5 points6 points ago

          In HTML 10, links that you haven't clicked will be purple, and links you have clicked will be blue. Just to fuck with you.

          [–]Acolyte666 434 points435 points ago

          Slightly more relevant: http://xkcd.com/605/

          [–]duncan12457 86 points87 points ago

          how about a completely irrelevant cyanide and happiness?

          [–]dannybox 3 points4 points ago

          Nice try, Kris.

          [–]duncan12457 3 points4 points ago

          Shit...

          ALERT RED SPY IS IN THE BASE

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            [–]TheKingHasFall3n 150 points151 points ago

            How is this more relevant.

            [–]Phlexonance 626 points627 points ago

            It's relevant because he's extrapolating from a sample size of 1, just like that standup comedian.

            [–]TheKingHasFall3n 120 points121 points ago

            Makes sense, thank you.

            [–]that_makes_no_sense 8 points9 points ago

            Does it? You're welcome.

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                [–]Acolyte666 57 points58 points ago

                He's extrapolating on one data point rather than doing a huge experiment.

                [–]TheKingHasFall3n 22 points23 points ago

                Ok, now I get it.

                [–]Acolyte666 34 points35 points ago

                Good.

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                    [–]Lambchops_Legion 5 points6 points ago

                    Them Leontief preferences.

                    [–]A_Monocle_For_Sauron 0 points1 point ago

                    How have they determined that the growth is linear rather than polynomial or even exponential?

                    The two data points are (0,0) and (1,1). There are literally infinitely many functions that pass through those 2 points.

                    [–]Acolyte666 9 points10 points ago

                    because of jokes.

                    [–]pez319 6 points7 points ago

                    So based off that graph, there was a point in time when she had negative husbands....

                    Lesbian?

                    [–]bartonar 25 points26 points ago

                    No. The beginning point is 0 husbands.

                    [–]McBurger 2 points3 points ago

                    Origin at {0,0}

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                            [–]dilpill 19 points20 points ago

                            heh, bottom

                            [–]demoness 80 points81 points ago

                            How do you know the size of his sample?

                            [–]Roboticide 30 points31 points ago

                            The part where he said he only ever played with one penis.

                            One is not a big enough sample to draw a precise conclusion.

                            EDIT: Ok, yeah, I might have gotten wooshed. It did occur to me that maybe demoness was referring to "his sample," but I thought he might also have really not gotten the OP's joke. Sorry I didn't give you the benefit of the doubt.

                            [–]Koldfuzion 73 points74 points ago

                            whoosh

                            [–]kdorf 9 points10 points ago

                            Not sure if you are serious or if that one went over your head.

                            [–]dylansan 6 points7 points ago

                            Looks like both.

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                              [–]Mr_Log_Lady 29 points30 points ago

                              I volunteer as tribute!

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                                [–]SRS_are_cunts 1407 points1408 points ago

                                flawless logic right there, folks.

                                [–]LinXitoW 461 points462 points ago

                                gay sex is also easier

                                [–]Tearill 206 points207 points ago

                                I've never thought of it that way, but yeah it seems true, can we get a gay guy conformation on this?

                                [–]kycube 585 points586 points ago

                                As a homosexual, I can say that working your own shaft is definitely not the same is working someone elses.

                                I've received my share of terrible hand jobs.

                                [–]Take_Boat 710 points711 points ago

                                Also anal can be a whole production. You have to lube up and then find some way to deal with the potential for santorum, generally through some combination of enemas, fiber, scheduling, and paper towels.

                                [–]downesy 663 points664 points ago

                                Upvoted for use of "santorum" in context

                                [–]BoringUsername1 318 points319 points ago

                                Don't you just hate when you're balls deep in somebody's ass and Rick Santorum shows up? He's a major cock block.

                                [–]SantorumParty 137 points138 points ago

                                http://i.imgur.com/lB44k.jpg

                                [–]livefreeordont 277 points278 points ago

                                http://i.imgur.com/pnnnU.gif

                                [–]Dustintico 62 points63 points ago

                                oshi OSHI oshi fshh fshh *repeat

                                [–]Alamodome 3 points4 points ago

                                And I hold it so it's a fancy fist with joy

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                                        [–]josieisabunny 34 points35 points ago

                                        scheduling is of huge importance. I mean this in the least sarcastic way possible.

                                        [–]Ag-E 1 point2 points ago

                                        Gay sex seems like too much work. I'm just going to stick with vaginas.

                                        [–]josieisabunny 4 points5 points ago

                                        while complicated the payoff is very worth it.

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                                            [–]kycube 37 points38 points ago

                                            But it's worth it!

                                            [–]Kramereng 136 points137 points ago

                                            Butt: it's worth it!

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                                              [–]DejavuIsUseless 35 points36 points ago

                                              There is a lot of prep work for anal. Enemas help limit the Santorum. If you're having or planning in having butt sex or being pegged by a lady friend, days in advance you should alter your diet to reduce loose stools for instance. Maybe consider eating something high fiber the day prior so that only a water enema is necessary. The easier the stools are to pass, the less likely you are to have a ln angry hole. If you irritate the hole during an enema, then butt sex will be that much more difficult and painful.

                                              Then once you make it to the penetration phase, you have to prep the objective. You can't just drive it home. You may need to use your fingers. Fyi, saliva has a relaxing effect on the tissues--something to do with the pH of saliva and the pH of the sphincter interacting. The three finger rule applies. If you can get 3 in, you van probably fit your member in. If not, then your member might do some or a lot of long term, horrible, painful damage. So go ahead and try butt sex, butt take precautions so you don't end up with a bloody orifice.

                                              [–]Sigourney_Weaver 13 points14 points ago

                                              I fucked my ex boyfriend on average of once every day for two years. We're both normal guys and eat what we want, we never "scheduled" or anything like that. We never had complications or random poo show up. But there are definitely moments where someone will say "You can't fuck me tonight. I ate a shit ton of cheese coneys today". For obvious reasons

                                              But your second paragraph is spot on. Depends on the size of the top's dick, honestly. Sounds like your personal standard of comparison is pretty big

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                                                [–]frolicking_hippies 32 points33 points ago

                                                Whole production? More like hole production, amiright?

                                                [–]PUMPKIN_IN_MY_POOPER 21 points22 points ago

                                                Remind me again, what is Santorum?

                                                [–]Aiyon 58 points59 points ago

                                                If you're actually asking... it's a kinda shit-mixed-with-semen foam that can occur.

                                                [–]shawarman 52 points53 points ago

                                                I somehow doubt that a guy named PUMPKIN_IN_MY_POOPER wouldn't have any idea what Santorum is...

                                                [–]Pufflekun 6 points7 points ago

                                                Maybe there's some sort of enzyme in pumpkin that stops the foaming reaction.

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                                                  [–]kycube 16 points17 points ago

                                                  Lube and/or semen.

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                                                    [–]MightyYetGentle 23 points24 points ago

                                                    Butt goop

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                                                      [–]sprankton 11 points12 points ago

                                                      Well, shit; now pegging doesn't sound like so much fun.

                                                      [–]N69sZelda 9 points10 points ago

                                                      Yea I mean you have to be ready for all things. I have had to learn the hard way that girls have very similar digestive organs to me sadly. But its worth it. You can just laugh it over and usually it really isnt that bad. Just you need to experiment first - enemas really are useful. Thats why CVS has a whole isle aisle devoted to it.

                                                      Also - if you dont go very deep and just "peg" there usually arent any problems at all. Its only when you go deep that shit gets serious

                                                      edit: thanks vadge_holder

                                                      [–]vadge_holder 15 points16 points ago

                                                      I know you meant aisle, but just the idea of an Isle of Enemas owned by CVS was rather funny to me.

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                                                          [–]TomServoHere 39 points40 points ago

                                                          TIL that "Santorum" is also a (disgusting) noun.

                                                          [–]Kon-chezz 144 points145 points ago

                                                          Welcome to The Internet Bitch!

                                                          [–]Josmeister 48 points49 points ago

                                                          it was made a noun by Dan Savage in honour of Santorum

                                                          [–]DejavuIsUseless 11 points12 points ago

                                                          Fairly certain a person is a noun too.

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                                                            [–]s90-CustomsAndExcise 5 points6 points ago

                                                            That wikipedia article is very interesting! I love how you can correlate the downward spiral of Santorum's campaign to the shifting of his tone and blame against Google and the left. One of his comments was really noble ('Google should only remove the search result if it does so normally') but then as his campaign soured he backflipped on that position.

                                                            [–]chaos386 5 points6 points ago

                                                            I heard of the noun before I heard of the politician.

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                                                              [–]EnlightenedNarwhal 8 points9 points ago

                                                              Bisexual male who is the bottom in a same sex situation, I can confirm that a lot of preparation and a high fiber diet is necessary. If you care about hygiene that is.

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                                                                [–]accostedbyhippies 100 points101 points ago

                                                                Word.

                                                                [–]hemmelight 57 points58 points ago

                                                                Especially if one of you is circumcised while the other isn't. It's like a whole different thing down there.

                                                                [–]throwitaway733 34 points35 points ago

                                                                For real. I'm great with other uncircumcised penises, but when I'm with a circumcised guy, I'm just lost. How are you supposed to do anything with those? You need like a pound of lube just to jerk a guy off. But I'm great at blowjobs so that probably makes up for my ineptitude in other areas.

                                                                [–]vaesh 78 points79 points ago

                                                                I don't really understand where this comes from? I'm circumcised and I've used lube maybe 3 times in my masturbating life and it was never out of need but experimentation. Maybe i'm unique among "cut" guys but the skin down there is pretty elastic and lets me move my hand up and down without really moving it across my skin much.

                                                                [–]jordanTRC 16 points17 points ago

                                                                Little known fact, most serial killers are dry guys.

                                                                [–]OpRaider 8 points9 points ago

                                                                You're not unique, same experience here.

                                                                [–]stoopitmonkee 6 points7 points ago

                                                                Same here, man. I thought I was alone in this.

                                                                [–]throwitaway733 3 points4 points ago

                                                                So do you just grip the shaft then, and not really touch the head? My point is that I have no idea how to handle a cut penis, not that it's inherently more difficult to do so.

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                                                                  [–]Pufflekun 28 points29 points ago

                                                                  I can't see anyone actually complaining about that, though.

                                                                  "You're not good at giving handjobs? Guess I'll have to settle for a blowjob, then. Damn it."

                                                                  [–]hemmelight 21 points22 points ago

                                                                  It sucks trying to let a 'cut' guy jerk you off because the technique is all wrong. Personally, I like being uncut- I don't need any lube for jerkin'. ;)

                                                                  [–]shawarman 40 points41 points ago

                                                                  Uncut brothers of the world, unite!

                                                                  [–]Davey_Jones 10 points11 points ago

                                                                  Whoa whoa...I'm trying to wrap my head around this. So an uncircumcised guy is better to have than a circumcised guy when it comes to gay sex?

                                                                  [–]hemmelight 56 points57 points ago

                                                                  Only if you yourself are uncut as well. Basically, uncut guys are WAY more sensitive (atleast I am) on the...erm...head because it's covered like 90% of the time.

                                                                  I guess what I meant to say was - it's better if you both have the same equipment down there because you know what it feels like. A circumsised guy trying to jerk off an uncut guy can be painful. This has become a weird thread.

                                                                  [–]Atom612 0 points1 point ago

                                                                  I'm cut and focus virtually all of my attention on my shaft when jerking off, forgive my gay ineptitude but this seems like it would minimize hurting the head?

                                                                  [–]Arrestor 2 points3 points ago

                                                                  I agree. I have no idea what I was doing the other day. He was circumcised and I wasn't. I feel like I was causing him pain D: so I just settled for sucking his dick. He had no idea what he was doing either though haha.

                                                                  Oh goodness. I feel like asking him if he wants to hook up again and see if I can't get some practice in. ;)

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                                                                          [–]waftastic 18 points19 points ago

                                                                          Is that why all my partners complain about the burning?

                                                                          [–]kycube 12 points13 points ago

                                                                          Too much friction.

                                                                          [–]squirrelballs 6 points7 points ago

                                                                          And the smell of burning rubber. Meh.

                                                                          [–]H3000 2 points3 points ago

                                                                          Too much fire.

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                                                                              [–]Itza420 4 points5 points ago

                                                                              Maybe they give themselves bad handjobs too...

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                                                                                [–]LuxNocte 75 points76 points ago

                                                                                Bi guy here, sex with the different genders is really different and hard to compare, IMHO. I think guys give better blowjobs than women, but nothing else translates very well.

                                                                                Different people like different things, so just because you like it doesn't mean he will. I wouldn't say either is easier.

                                                                                Bonus SMBC comic (I might not consider it incredibly accurate, but it's funny.)

                                                                                [–]MewsClues 8 points9 points ago

                                                                                'Imagine my penis is a tesseract.'

                                                                                [–]Varconis 0 points1 point ago

                                                                                What do you mean "...nothing else translates very well."??

                                                                                [–]LuxNocte 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                If you're receiving a blowjob, close your eyes and it's difficult to tell whether a woman or man is sucking you. So that's easy to compare.

                                                                                Anal sex and vaginal sex are so completely different it's difficult to compare the two. I prefer girls to guys, so if I said girls are more fun to have sex with, that's more my bias than any objective difference.

                                                                                I think the linked video doesn't really work (it's funny, and I like it...it's just not really "true") because you jerk yourself off, but that doesn't really give you any idea what gay sex is like.

                                                                                [–]bunbun22 37 points38 points ago

                                                                                I'd think bi guys would be a better source of information on that front.

                                                                                [–]IchBinEinHamburger 95 points96 points ago

                                                                                Also on that rear.

                                                                                [–]MrConfucius 16 points17 points ago

                                                                                Hiyooo!

                                                                                [–]kueyen 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                Oh you.

                                                                                [–]Alch1e 13 points14 points ago

                                                                                As a gay man, I think getting bad head is a lot rarer. Guys should be better at it given they know what feels good for themselves.

                                                                                [–]EA_Customer_Support 60 points61 points ago

                                                                                I'm bi, and I'd like to point out that gay sex doesn't involve just jerking each other off. It's a funny joke but the writer is obviously straight ;)

                                                                                [–]Funmachine 40 points41 points ago

                                                                                The writer is also writing a comic scene where a sexually frustrated and disgruntled straight man rambles while drunk.

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                                                                                    [–]PhazonZim 24 points25 points ago

                                                                                    I'm a transwoman who still has her penis, getting my new boyfriend off is so much harder than getting myself off. And it's pretty depressing being limited to anal sex.

                                                                                    [–]TheBoyWhoCriedDicks 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                    That....

                                                                                    Is quite sad :c

                                                                                    [–]icecoldtrashcan 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                    The jokes in that weren't bad, but would have been so much funnier if it was so over-acted.

                                                                                    [–]Sapanther 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                    Lmao I love Jeff. He is frackin hilarious. The giggle loop has gotten me in to trouble about 30% more often after I heard of it versus before.

                                                                                    [–]german80 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                    I absolutely loved that show. Then Jeff left, and everything went to shit. Then there was an American version and it was shit too. Just shit everywhere.

                                                                                    [–]counttofour 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                    Coupling is the best.

                                                                                    [–]Karl_Marx_ 14 points15 points ago

                                                                                    Wtf is this? The british "Friends?"

                                                                                    [–]joerdie 13 points14 points ago

                                                                                    It's Coupling. It's waaaaaay better than Friends. That is, until the 4th season.

                                                                                    [–]Unheal3r 8 points9 points ago

                                                                                    And straighter!

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                                                                                      [–]gheost 84 points85 points ago

                                                                                      TIL I am gay.

                                                                                      [–]Animystic 60 points61 points ago

                                                                                      We've all known that for a long time, Gheost.

                                                                                      [–]Zkenny13 46 points47 points ago

                                                                                      We still love you.

                                                                                      [–]dnicholsonb 54 points55 points ago

                                                                                      *no homo

                                                                                      [–]Zkenny13 25 points26 points ago

                                                                                      No I meant it homo......

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                                                                                        [–]notmyrealname33 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                        Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that

                                                                                        [–]RedAero 14 points15 points ago

                                                                                        Technically correct. The best kind of correct.

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                                                                                          [–]petrichor_28 153 points154 points ago

                                                                                          very very relevant.

                                                                                          1 & then 2

                                                                                          [–]jjwood84 33 points34 points ago

                                                                                          Bo is the man.

                                                                                          [–]MrBroly 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                          Wonder why it's in two gifs

                                                                                          [–]S1d3w4yZ 17 points18 points ago

                                                                                          Tumblr

                                                                                          [–]Lecks 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                          He's too tall for just one.

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                                                                                            [–]Bajimazabulumana 28 points29 points ago

                                                                                            I've had a penis in my mouth but I haven't been able to reach since I was a young teenager.

                                                                                            [–]wwabc 71 points72 points ago

                                                                                            why? does your priest live far away now?

                                                                                            [–]super_dilated 79 points80 points ago

                                                                                            Reminds me of Steve Hughes - Gay, its the new straight

                                                                                            [–]audaciousterrapin 12 points13 points ago

                                                                                            I had never seen this one. I was used to the older version. Still the same flawless logic though.

                                                                                            [–]Aviatrix89 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                            Ah, I love this part. So funny.

                                                                                            The part where he points out that straight men are more 'gay' than the gays is freaking hilarious!

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                                                                                              [–]red321red321 133 points134 points ago

                                                                                              Wouldn't that just make him bisexual?

                                                                                              [–][deleted] ago

                                                                                              [deleted]

                                                                                              [–]fallwalltall 23 points24 points ago

                                                                                              Some people also use "gay" to mean that an individual has subpar gaming abilities.

                                                                                              [–]vfxDan 24 points25 points ago

                                                                                              If someone way bi they wouldn't refer to themselves as gay, it would create too much confusion.

                                                                                              [–][deleted] ago

                                                                                              [deleted]

                                                                                              [–]vfxDan 18 points19 points ago

                                                                                              How about when you're going out with a woman, would you still call yourself gay?

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                                                                                                    [–]My_Icy_veins 18 points19 points ago

                                                                                                    kinsey scale, have you heard of it?

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                                                                                                      [–]alep13 163 points164 points ago

                                                                                                      TIL im gay

                                                                                                      [–]the_internet_clown 209 points210 points ago

                                                                                                      i guess that makes two of us.....so , you want get dinner or something?

                                                                                                      [–]BARACK_HITLER 119 points120 points ago

                                                                                                      Fuck dinner, just Fuck.

                                                                                                      [–]StairwayToTruth 49 points50 points ago

                                                                                                      I don't want to fuck my dinner, but hey, whatever floats your boat, man.

                                                                                                      [–]macpatrik 8 points9 points ago

                                                                                                      A banana float.

                                                                                                      [–]Battletooth 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                      I think they should fuck each other rather than dinner. Maybe they can do the kinky stuff like food fucking on their second date.

                                                                                                      [–]RAPES_YOU_GENTLY 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                      Oh man. Is this a fuck date!?

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                                                                                                        [–]Foe_Geodude 14 points15 points ago

                                                                                                        lets skip dinner and go straight to the handies

                                                                                                        [–]the_internet_clown 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                        reach around?

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                                                                                                              [–]SubAtomicPlayboy 133 points134 points ago

                                                                                                              60 percent of the time, he likes it every time.

                                                                                                              [–]Anyx 26 points27 points ago

                                                                                                              It actually works in this case.

                                                                                                              [–]HappyNihilist 13 points14 points ago

                                                                                                              Am I the only one that has liked 100% of the vaginas I've been in?

                                                                                                              [–]igloo27 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                                              All one of them. I'm batting 100 with both genitalia.

                                                                                                              [–]Cobaltsaber 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                                              I am with you on this, as a scrawny white guy who paints toy soldiers and plays excessive amounts of pc games I am going to take anything I can get.

                                                                                                              [–]danceswithwooks 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                              Finally! I kept scrolling hoping to find someone who said this.

                                                                                                              [–]eat-your-corn-syrup 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                              you do realize that one of the vaginas is your mom's?

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                                                                                                                [–]Apostolate 269 points270 points ago

                                                                                                                Relevant subreddit: /r/standupshots

                                                                                                                [–]InternetTouchesMe[S] 130 points131 points ago

                                                                                                                Cheers.

                                                                                                                [–]My_Icy_veins 38 points39 points ago

                                                                                                                Thought he was cute until the very last pic

                                                                                                                [–]KRSFive 28 points29 points ago

                                                                                                                Kinda has a "jizz in my pants" face going on in that last one.

                                                                                                                [–]uzusan 15 points16 points ago

                                                                                                                He suddenly turned into ardal o'hanlon on that last shot (he played Father Dougal in Father Ted: http://i1126.photobucket.com/albums/l620/empirecomedylist/Father-Dougal-McGuire.jpg )

                                                                                                                [–]crom_cruach 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                                Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These (pointing to plastic cows on table) are very small; those (pointing out of the window) are far away...

                                                                                                                [–]down_vote_magnet 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                                You made this post after seeing Daniel Sloss do this bit on Russel Howard's Good News yesterday, didn't you? Or maybe it was Friday.

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                                                                                                                  [–]funnybutrandom 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                                                  risky click there, I thought it was going to be another thing "standing up"

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                                                                                                                    [–]Kibethy 25 points26 points ago

                                                                                                                    I am very attracted to this man.

                                                                                                                    Plot twist: I'm gay.

                                                                                                                    [–]FA_stowaway 23 points24 points ago

                                                                                                                    He's cute, I'd play with his dick.

                                                                                                                    [–]Jimbobshawobodob 56 points57 points ago

                                                                                                                    The programme is Russel Howards good news extra, for anyone who wants to know

                                                                                                                    [–]NotTheNews 31 points32 points ago

                                                                                                                    And it's fucking awful.

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                                                                                                                      [–]zythyl 39 points40 points ago

                                                                                                                      What is Reddit's obsession with making these shitty image/text pics? Surely a video would do the joke more justice.

                                                                                                                      [–]band-of-liars 75 points76 points ago

                                                                                                                      People are more likely to open an image than a video I guess.

                                                                                                                      [–]maz-o 11 points12 points ago

                                                                                                                      also quicker karma

                                                                                                                      [–]kristovaher 12 points13 points ago

                                                                                                                      I agree. But reality is that this is better for the poster for a number of reasons, especially if they are looking for karma. Pictures get by far the most clicks not just because they are click-glance-close affair but also because a lot of redditors do it at work and only few are able to watch video with sound.

                                                                                                                      I am totally on your side though, I would prefer the actual video or at least the video together with the picture in the first comment.

                                                                                                                      [–]farkdog 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                                      I think it's a side-effect of the "phone" generation. Same reason we are seeing ever-tinier pictures. - they work better with smaller phones screens and bandwidth.

                                                                                                                      It's like the Internet is in regression.

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                                                                                                                        [–]itzthedave 39 points40 points ago

                                                                                                                        He is my cousin I don't care he has been on tv loads and is releasing a DVD that doesn't matter anymore because he has been on the front page of reddit.

                                                                                                                        [–]JimmFair 27 points28 points ago

                                                                                                                        Proof or it didn't happen.

                                                                                                                        [–]Ennil 17 points18 points ago

                                                                                                                        Do you by any chance look anything like your cousin?

                                                                                                                        [–]thefreq 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                                        Because, if so, allow me to send you a fine picture of my penis...

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                                                                                                                          [–]godin_sdxt 12 points13 points ago

                                                                                                                          I kinda wish he was gay... sooo fucking hot

                                                                                                                          [–]artgon 39 points40 points ago

                                                                                                                          This is a Louis CK bit.

                                                                                                                          [–]thisissamsaxton 29 points30 points ago

                                                                                                                          Louis CK is like the Simpsons of stand up. He already did everything.

                                                                                                                          [–]billyblaze 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                                          Except not that one joke you used as an example just now.

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                                                                                                                            [–]Honky_magoo 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                                            Came in here to say the same thing. The joke is slightly different but Louie basically talks about how he's not sure that he's not gay he just hasn't found a penis he wanted to suck yet.

                                                                                                                            [–]bananas16 12 points13 points ago

                                                                                                                            That is a completely different joke but.

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                                                                                                                              [–]Sureiyaa 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                                              It's similar, but different. It's not exactly a difficult realization to come to on your own.

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                                                                                                                                [–]brokendimension 13 points14 points ago

                                                                                                                                So we're all bi?

                                                                                                                                [–]chandria 12 points13 points ago

                                                                                                                                Well, that escalated statistically...

                                                                                                                                [–]oxgang 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                                                It seems his name is Daniel Sloss.

                                                                                                                                [–]stealthismatt 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                                                "Y'all are about...the worst fucking audience I've ever faced...Let me assure you right now: there are dick jokes on the way." ~Bill Hicks

                                                                                                                                [–]nakedintherain 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                                                source?

                                                                                                                                [–]OnlyDruid 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                                                I was watching this last night and all I could do was cringe. This guy was in denial so fucking hard and made it so so obvious. It was far worse than this by the way guys, he was reverting back to dicks and gay guys every 15-20 seconds.

                                                                                                                                He must've been brought up around a lot of very strong homophobes, though.

                                                                                                                                [–]Eso777 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                                                Fk it I guess I am gay then

                                                                                                                                [–]Pooey_ass 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                                                this seems an awful lot like one of Louis Cks jokes..

                                                                                                                                [–]nicknameminaj 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                                                I'd play with his penis.

                                                                                                                                [–]noidentitysleepwalk 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                                                A nice change from the usual undertones of gay bashing I see on here.

                                                                                                                                [–]TokenScottishGuy 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                                                I may be too late for this to get enough votes for anyone to read this, but here goes...

                                                                                                                                This comedian is from Glasgow (like me), and he is quality (to use Glasgow speak). I went to see him randomly in Edinburgh during the Fringe Festival they have there, which I highly recommend by the way.

                                                                                                                                So he is doing his routine, and the crowd is loving it. He hits the perfect combination of immature jokes, controversial jokes, fat jokes and makes fun of religions/god/homophobes (so Reddit should love him).

                                                                                                                                So, i'm sitting right at the back, I notice one guy few rows ahead is not really into it, he is just sitting back with his arms crossed, but whatever. Right in the aftermath of another great joke, while the crowd is still laughing he gets up with a look of disgust in his face. He moves out to the back door (3 feet away from me), turns round and shouts something. Of course the crowd and Sloss are concentrating on the show so no one catches it. He then repeats "Tell me when you've finished, you're shite!". Me and a guy from the other aisle promptly tell him to fuck off as he exits.

                                                                                                                                This guy is an asshole, I mean really the crowd is really enjoying his show. It may have been he was offended because he was fat or religious, or disliked gays i'm not sure.

                                                                                                                                Anyway, the funniest part was how this guy took him apart after this point. Kept on referring to him as a "fat fuck" (love the Glasgow dialect) and claiming how he was going to follow him home and take his daughters virginity and give her various stds. And better yet, the heckler's wife was still seated in the audience. I'm guessing she was too embarrassed to come out with him and left about 15 minutes after the heckler did.

                                                                                                                                So that's my story of Daniel Sloss, or "The Slossage"

                                                                                                                                [–]SexLiesAndExercise 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                                                He's from Fife, mate!

                                                                                                                                But that's pretty funny. I've seen some absolute trainwrecks during the festival - you just can't hope to win against someone whose job description is basically 'make hecklers look like dicks.'

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                                                                                                                                  [–]drobinsondn 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                                                  I want to be bi

                                                                                                                                  [–]OneEyedMasa 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                                                  Hey, it's like those fire-and-brimstone preachers on the quad say, "A masturbator today is a sodomite tomorrow!"

                                                                                                                                  [–]DOWN__VOTE__ME 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                                                  I love 9gag

                                                                                                                                  [–]getintheVandell 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                                                  And for those who think they're not even slightly gay..

                                                                                                                                  [–]big_sexy_in_glasses 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                                                  that sample size

                                                                                                                                  [–]thooperdooper 0 points1 point ago

                                                                                                                                  I saw this episode get recorded! Funny funny man!

                                                                                                                                  [–]ozzymustaine 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                                                                  TIL that virgins are 100% gay

                                                                                                                                  [–]warratah[!] 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                                                  Fuck, I'd play with HIS penis... He is FIIINNEEEEE.

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