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top 200 commentsshow all 288

[–]knott 881 points882 points ago

Looks like the bill is still with the stripper.

[–]zombiehippie 298 points299 points ago

I was thinking the same thing when I saw those nails

[–]SecretlyBadass 157 points158 points ago

My dad has this saying, "The longer the nails, the lower the income." To this day, I can't let my nails grow past the finger tip.

He also always told me that eating bread crust would put hair on my chest. As a girl, I still can't bring myself to eat bread crust.

[–]queenofhearts8 68 points69 points ago

I cannot think of a situation where this is not true. Your father is a wise man.

[–]hereforeyebleach 28 points29 points ago

Seriously. I need to cut back on the bread crust.

[–]Solid364 2 points3 points ago

What's it say about back hair?

[–]whatkindofasshole 3 points4 points ago

Shave that shit, ya sasquatch.

[–]wellactuallyhmm 20 points21 points ago

False.

Strippers, porn stars and escorts can make thousands of dollars in a few hours.

[–]OhSplitBanana 87 points88 points ago

Ok, then let's make that "The longer the nails, the lower the class" instead.

[–]zombiehippie 10 points11 points ago

That seems to be about perfect. I tip my hat and upvote.

[–]cosmogrrl 4 points5 points ago

Emphasis on "can", most don't.

[–]Whos_that_guy 0 points1 point ago

In the form of $1 bills..

[–]wellactuallyhmm 3 points4 points ago

Not all strippers work at Rusty's Backwoods Rub 'n Tug.

[–]wingie 9 points10 points ago

It's weird because in the olden days longer fingernails were only possible without labor and so only rich people had long fingernails.

[–]cosmogrrl 2 points3 points ago

And then came fake nails, made of acrylic, that now makes short nails de rigueur.

[–]Onionania 3 points4 points ago

Sorta like back in the day, you had to be rich to get super fat.

[–]wingie 3 points4 points ago

Well, moderately chubby by today's standards.

[–]WhatTheFedex 2 points3 points ago

I was told by my grandmother that bread crusts would give me curly hair. On my head. Not my chest...

[–]batfiend 3 points4 points ago

I now feel awesome for not being able to grow my nails. Thanks, Mr SecretlyBadass.

[–]DAVENP0RT 4 points5 points ago

As a very hairy-chested fellow that always removes the crust from his sandwiches, I think you have nothing to worry about.

[–]zvd918 1 point2 points ago

Lol my friends dad used to say if you eat your crust you'll get curly hair. Wonder who's the liar.

[–]Hyperian -1 points0 points ago

remove your nails and you'll be rich!

[–]javiermares 1 point2 points ago

Except for classical guitarists :-)

[–]srobison62 1 point2 points ago

This...This...is brilliant...Ama request SecretlyBadass's obviously badass dad

[–]hippiewench 6 points7 points ago

Stripper here, yep.

[–]DuduTheDodo 35 points36 points ago

I was just gonna say... how else would she take it out of there?

[–]LibertarianGuy 19 points20 points ago

Teeth.

[–]CenturionGMU 7 points8 points ago

[–]Pickledsoul 2 points3 points ago

i still watch it from time to time, its good justiceporn

[–]Shawthorn 0 points1 point ago

TIL Justiceporn is a thing.

[–]lexicological 1 point2 points ago

that was the most horrific film I have ever seen, and I don't even have a penis...

[–]LibertarianGuy 6 points7 points ago

I don't even have a penis...

Due to vagina teeth or because you are a girl?

[–]lexicological 0 points1 point ago

nice one lol. Female sir.

[–]bazinga_balls 2 points3 points ago

this comment made me never want to click that link... it will be one of my only blue links..... must. not. click. OH MOTHER OF GOD

[–]pusangani 0 points1 point ago

Check out Killer Kondoms fron Outer Space or w.e. It's called

[–]knolax -1 points0 points ago

I was just about to post that

[–]MELSU 0 points1 point ago

sincerely the Stripper's coke dealer

[–]nath2411 54 points55 points ago

added value.

[–]Persdear 24 points25 points ago

(sticks finger in wallet and sniffs)

[–]JasonoftheOregonauts 13 points14 points ago

(pulls dollar out, masturbates)

[–]nssone 1 point2 points ago

Masturbate with it. Around your cock you know.

[–]digitalixus 0 points1 point ago

Added even more value for correct use of "you're" instead of "your"

[–]DEMAG 185 points186 points ago

Who stuffs singles up stripper's pussies?

[–]LibertarianGuy 60 points61 points ago

Vending machine repairmen.

[–]nettles121 10 points11 points ago

sheryl crow.

[–]EskimoJesus7904 2 points3 points ago

I'd really love to know what this is about.

[–]nettles121 4 points5 points ago

it was just what i thought of when i heard that line.

[–]Draiko 73 points74 points ago

Other strippers.

[–]Jampride65 15 points16 points ago

Rich people

[–]countchocula86 8 points9 points ago

I just love goin down to the ol striperama. When the stripper dances over to my end of the stage and just spreads her pussy open so I can push my rolled up dollar bill up inside. Magic! Its just like magic

[–]Tfish 24 points25 points ago

I once put a $5 bill in a stripper's asshole, and her pussy gave me $3 back in change.

[–]Kyle772 2 points3 points ago

Gentlemen.

[–]dclowd9901 1 point2 points ago

Nobody. This was created by a 13 year old.

[–]MFchimichanga 21 points22 points ago

Who stuffs a dollar bill in a strippers pussy?

[–]The_Maester 28 points29 points ago

You've never tightly rolled a dollar bill and placed it into a strippers open butthole?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DebacleRoberts 2 points3 points ago

That's treason!

[–]The_Maester 1 point2 points ago

Okay, now you're the sick fuck

[–]imtooold21 11 points12 points ago

ASS TO ASS

[–]Jaquatic 5 points6 points ago

I've seen it at a club. Seriously, not attractive at all. Really repulsive. I know strippers aren't the classiest ladies in the first place, but damn!

[–]Hoobleton 6 points7 points ago

I mean, money is really fucking dirty anyway. No way I want it in any of my orifices.

[–]Jaquatic 4 points5 points ago

I imagine they all have UTIs constantly.

[–]Chip--Chipperson 301 points302 points ago

"You know how I can become more attractive? How about disgustingly long fake nails. That will get the boys churning for my stripper pussy"

[–]joeshrimp11 119 points120 points ago

They're not nails, they're talons.

[–]Samrojas0 15 points16 points ago

They actually look like shoehorns

[–]jxuereb 8 points9 points ago

Little known fact, that is how shoehorns are made.

[–]emlgsh 17 points18 points ago

Look, clearly this is a woman who will not be bound by the petty restrictions of a single coke nail.

[–]catrpillr 49 points50 points ago

It isn't to become more attractive, or to attract attention, or anything of the sort. It's because girls like the way it looks.

[–]nixonrichard 7 points8 points ago

Right . . . which explains why they generally make a point to get their nails done right before an important social function.

[–]SRSter 3 points4 points ago

It's because we like the way it looks.

How is that difficult to understand?

[–]Persdear 11 points12 points ago

because they think it makes them look attractive...

[–]waytogoraus 14 points15 points ago

I have had acrylic nails for the past year because I used to have a nervous habit of picking at my nails until my skin bled. I don't pick the plastic. Granted, they aren't nearly as long as the ones pictured above. I also think that they're a lot easier and lower maintenance than painting and repainting real nails. I go to the salon once every 3 weeks. My nails don't break, the paint doesn't chip, and I personally like the way they look.

[–]catrpillr 52 points53 points ago

Nope. Because to us, personally, it looks nice. I don't paint my nails to impress anyone. I paint them cause it's fun and I like the way they look.

[–]i_like_salad 50 points51 points ago

Thats why I use patterned toilet paper.

[–]zaroclow 10 points11 points ago

Color between the lines. Make it look nice.

[–]apinney89 4 points5 points ago

Doesn't it make it infinitely harder to masturbate?

Edit: I'm not talking about painting, I mean having nails as long as in OP's post.

[–]MizDocta 34 points35 points ago

The answer is yes. When I was 16, I got my nails done by a Korean lady (I say this because clearly there was a language barrier). I just wanted professional looking nails. Having never had them done before, I told her what I wanted, and let her do the rest. At the end of the appointment, I had talons such as these in the picture. But, I am much too polite/awkward to say NO THESE ARE HIDEOUS AND I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO MY HIGH SCHOOL WITH THESE ON. I might be EXPELLED FOR WEAPONRY. I LOOK LIKE WOLVERINE. So I smiled, tipped her, and went home. That night, as every night, I decided to "play DJ" to help me sleep. No fucking go. Holy shit. My poor clitorus. She....she almost screamed in pain. That was the moment I decided to go to another nail lady the next day, to fix them. It's just not right when a girl can't twiddle her own diddle. It needed fixing.

[–]thefuckdude 5 points6 points ago

twiddle her own diddle

Well ...

[–]Mr_Wolfgang_Beard 1 point2 points ago

"Flicking the bean"

[–]CartmanVT 0 points1 point ago

I think you missed the subject, no one said painting nails was the bad thing, I find it cute when a girl paints her nails bright colors, says something about their personality. But long nails just confuses me.

[–]RiahtheNomad 29 points30 points ago

I think you missed the point. Painting nails was an example of something she does to make herself happier, not because you find it cute. Not everything a gal does is for the sake of a dude, and length of your nails is a personal preference. It may not seem practical, but obviously people with long fake nails think it's worth it.

[–]oldsecondhand 8 points9 points ago

Not everything a men does is for the sake of a girl, sandals and socks are a personal preference.

[–]qataridestroyer 2 points3 points ago

actually, it's a challenge. long nails like that means you have to be gentle, you have to treat your hands gently and not do any hard labor using them, you know, like a pampered princess.

[–]drunkenAmoeba 11 points12 points ago

Dude. Long fake nails make for the best fucking back scratches. Don't hate on it till you've experienced it.

[–]hippiewench 0 points1 point ago

Max?

[–]Kronos6948 13 points14 points ago

It's funny, because when I see strippers with long nails fingering eachother, I start thinking of all the gunk under those nails, then I'm totally disgusted.

[–]Moncole 33 points34 points ago

I hate when girls do stuff like that to their nails. Its disgusting.

[–]sgtpppr 71 points72 points ago

It is hard to believe females would do anything that isn't immediately attractive to males.

[–]shark_vagina 61 points62 points ago

Yes, all we exist for is to be attractive to males. So we tailor our looks and personality to them. Obviously.

[–]Tfish 20 points21 points ago

I'm glad we're all on the same page here.

[–]prejudiced 12 points13 points ago

Sometimes I think women care more about what other women think of them than whether or not men think they're attractive.

Confirmed/busted/plausible?

[–]shark_vagina 18 points19 points ago

I think everyone cares what everyone else thinks of them regardless of gender.

[–]prejudiced 3 points4 points ago

Hm. I guess if I had to pick one, I'd rather be attractive to the sex I'm attracted to than to the competition. I found it curious that it seemed to be the other way round for a lot of females.

Obviously being liked by everyone regardless of gender is also nice.

[–]RocketTuna 3 points4 points ago

Really? So do you run around looking like this? Or this?

Things like long hair, tailored clothing, and very-groomed body hair have wide, wide appeal amongst straight women. Yet there seem to be few men who conform to these tastes, lest their little bros think they're "gay".

[–]Mr_Wolfgang_Beard 0 points1 point ago

I have observed this

[–]Porkpillow 2 points3 points ago

I like it. It's trashy, but I like trashy girls.

[–]ShoepZA 5 points6 points ago

The bitter neckbeard is strong here

[–]hippiewench 0 points1 point ago

I find it hard to masturbate with moderately short nails. How the fuck does she get anything done?

[–]I3addog 51 points52 points ago

Oh I see, a dollar bill that's been in a pussy is disgusting but putting your tongue in is not.

[–]ZondaRFanForLife 67 points68 points ago

*a strippers pussy

[–]I3addog 20 points21 points ago

Well, if you're with a stripper you're probably wasted so the alcohol should kill anything bad.

[–]C_M_O_TDibbler 11 points12 points ago

Depends I was designated driver and ended up with a stripper on my face... that was 10 years ago and I'm not dead yet

[–]I3addog 11 points12 points ago

And you're probably a better person today for it.

[–]C_M_O_TDibbler 12 points13 points ago

Hell yes, I gained skills that night! (cunnilingus +10)

[–]I-hate-reposts 3 points4 points ago

Depends if you drink from your mouth or vagina...

[–]fukcatz 3 points4 points ago

exactly, a stripper. Not a hooker...

[–]Lamar_the_Usurper 4 points5 points ago

Well presumably the pussy gets cleaned periodically, the money not so much.

[–]Tfish 2 points3 points ago

What makes things seem disgusting is really strange.

Like if you imagine you're holding a shot glass. Now you draw up a huge lugie, and hold it in your mouth for a second. Now spit it into the shot glass. Let it set for a second. Now drink it.

Now in your mind does putting your spit back into your mouth after it's been outside of it seem more or less disgusting than just keeping it in your mouth?

[–]tmotom 14 points15 points ago

Nice French tips, MR. BOMBER96!!!

[–]OhGodAli 7 points8 points ago

Mr.Bomber96

Mr.

So this guy has french nails?

[–]tmotom 3 points4 points ago

YES.

[–]OhGodAli 4 points5 points ago

Well...Okay then.

[–]vxx 10 points11 points ago

That missing question mark.

It usualy doesn't bother me, but it this case I have a strong feeling about it.

[–]kiakitty 6 points7 points ago

This is why you have to always launder your money.

[–]CoPow 11 points12 points ago

Pic or it didn't happen

[–]AndreasFrom 44 points45 points ago

Dem nails.

[–]quarbayemn 97 points98 points ago

She must be the stripper.

[–]thebigmoose 0 points1 point ago

I came here to say this.

[–]whatwasigonnasay 12 points13 points ago

Fuck you.

[–]JesusChrist5 22 points23 points ago

I said this to come here.

[–]Metroshant 4 points5 points ago

I said here to come this

[–]bufuman 7 points8 points ago

Here I come to said this

[–]LemonZorz 0 points1 point ago

This said here come to I

[–]Fuglypump -2 points-1 points ago

Come this here to I said

[–]Faxy_ 2 points3 points ago

To come here I said this.

[–]ISwearThisIsOriginal 35 points36 points ago

I came.

[–]SrsSteel 7 points8 points ago

Am I the only one that was checking out her legs, not her finger nails?

[–]Stratocaster89 5 points6 points ago

Are disgusting.

[–]craneomotor 6 points7 points ago

[–]griffcon 4 points5 points ago

That's nothin' bitch, ever heard of ass pennies?

[–]Frat_Panda 6 points7 points ago

So the closet I will ever get to a women in her underwear is buy holding a dollar?

[–]Fuglypump 17 points18 points ago

You could get closer by holding a gun.

[–]The_Maester 15 points16 points ago

Or having lots of dollars.

[–]rustytoast 2 points3 points ago

Maybe you could get a woman in her underwear into your closet by holding a dollar.

[–]IHHU 3 points4 points ago

I'd rather touch it with my hands then have that dirty bill inside any part of my body. DISGUSTING!

[–]AATroop 2 points3 points ago

Exactly. Before that bill was stuffed into that stripper's pussy, it was used to wipe a millionaire's ass.

[–]poor_impulsecontrol 3 points4 points ago

i bet 80% of reddit would smell that dollar.

[–]sexghosts 4 points5 points ago

the most noteworthy part of this image is the correct use of you're

[–]IAmAKanyeWestAMA 2 points3 points ago

"waz"

[–]Shnizz 4 points5 points ago

This had to have been on Tumblr.

[–]518nig 2 points3 points ago

Do you think they tell you that on wheresgeorge.com?

[–]monroe433 2 points3 points ago

Why was it IN her pussy? Last I remember you couldn't do that for a dollar

[–]Kniepic 3 points4 points ago

Instagram?

Instadownvote.

[–]ChrisInNJ 1 point2 points ago

says the girl with the five inch nails with no clothes on.

[–]JangSaverem 3 points4 points ago

Those nails make me sick to look at.

[–]Revanx17 0 points1 point ago

based on the persons nails, it's probably the same stripper.

[–]GeeeO 0 points1 point ago

In reference to this, check out Apathy's "The Buck Stops Here".

[–]littlehighlittlelow 1 point2 points ago

So, it's either the stripper who had a dollar in her pussy.. or a person planning on putting the signed dollar in said pussy.. yet they're calling any future handlers of the bill disgusting? Seems legit.

[–]aliengoods1 0 points1 point ago

Is that why singles taste so good?

[–]ejsanchez1986 0 points1 point ago

Good thing I NEVER use cash.

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair 0 points1 point ago

Not only do I really want that dollar, I want the fiver that was up the strippers asshole too. I'll frame them and put them over my door like when a business makes it's first dollar.

[–]tits-mchenry 0 points1 point ago

Ok, if there are any girls in this thread with nails like that... how do you do anything that involves any sort of dexterity?

[–]you_sir_are_wrong 0 points1 point ago

It's already got cocaine on it (seriously), so why not?

[–]Asdayasman -1 points0 points ago

Do vaginas sweat?

[–]Bashasaurus 1 point2 points ago

I still can't believe people actually use instagram....

[–]heriman 1 point2 points ago

so how is this funny?

[–]MartyRamone 0 points1 point ago

Dat coke nail

[–]SolidLikeIraq 0 points1 point ago

"I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years!"

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f7112b01fb/ass-pennies-from-greatest-comedy-sketches

[–]DevilsAdvocate9 0 points1 point ago

I love the smell of money.

[–]TherionSaysWhat 1 point2 points ago

Brb, sniffing wallet.... For evidence. Yep, science and stuff.

[–]Danielagoot 0 points1 point ago

Who it's more disgusting, the person touching the bill, or the one that tried to shove it in there in the first place?

[–]LegitimateCrepe 1 point2 points ago

waz? Ah, kids.

[–]Connor6 0 points1 point ago

SHE IS TOUCHING IT

[–]poonJavi39 0 points1 point ago

Was the said pussy furvent?

[–]tinlo 1 point2 points ago

Well seeing as this picture appears to have been taken in the 70's, I'm sure that dollar bill has dried out by now.

[–]ulleryg 0 points1 point ago

Say what you want, best dollar ever spent

[–]Biomortis 1 point2 points ago

Heh, if you've ever gotten any of the wheresgeorge.com bills, I always enter a status of "I am an exotic dancer and a customer put this in my g-string last night. Just thought you would like to know"

[–]heckicopter 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure most strippers don't actually put money in their vaginas.

[–]the_internet_clown 0 points1 point ago

but they should

[–]Scarbrow 0 points1 point ago

*was

[–]Warlach 0 points1 point ago

Waz?

Really? ಠ_ಠ

[–]Akeroh 0 points1 point ago

Well, butt pennies are just a bit too small to write that much on, I guess.

[–]pulezan 0 points1 point ago

I fucking hate these filters. You're not an artist if you do this.

[–]ChikiParm 0 points1 point ago

Looks as if she isn't wearing pants.....hmm.....

[–]AliasUndercover 1 point2 points ago

My penis was once, as well. I still touch it.

[–]De_vinchy 0 points1 point ago

I get pussy every time I touch a dollar bill?

[–]yardnome070 0 points1 point ago

so that is why they smell so good.

[–]zvd918 0 points1 point ago

I like sweaty pussy bills. I use them to snort coke.

[–]Good_Housekeeping 0 points1 point ago

the thought of a sweaty pussy arouses me

[–]this_is_my_b00mst1ck 0 points1 point ago

This just blew my mind!

[–]silent_p[!] 0 points1 point ago

The punctuation is the most upsetting thing about this note.

[–]princessjane 1 point2 points ago

Im a long time lurker, made an account just to comment.

I'm a stripper. I've seen a few girls pick up dollars between their butt cheeks (Ew), but never any dollar bill/pussy penetration going on. Fucking gross. At least half of us are totally normal girls... Being a stripper doesn't make me feel any less classy or ladylike than any other girl walking down the street. The money is great, it's legal, a lot of the time there isn't any contact at all, I can work when I want and do what I want when I'm there. Why not??

[–]Nappyheaded 1 point2 points ago

It disturbs me more that the bill was written on by someone who does not capitalize the first word in a sentence, and spells "was" incorrectly.

[–]bottle_cap 0 points1 point ago

Pussy is pussy.

[–]pbj192 0 points1 point ago

As someone who has had to touch shit and blood as part of their job, I can safely say I have done far worse for a buck.

[–]SCOOBA_MOOSE 0 points1 point ago

so is she.

[–]toffey4 1 point2 points ago

Rubs on face

[–]CarTamer 0 points1 point ago

So was my dick and I touch it all the time

[–]DrKaota 0 points1 point ago

It looks like a stripper is holding the bill

[–]suznebula 0 points1 point ago

does this stripper know it's illegal to face United States' hard currency....

[–]skwert99 0 points1 point ago

I don't understand the point trying to be made. Is she saying her in pussy so nasty, it's disgusting for anyone to be near something that may have touched it? They say strippers have issues, but damn.

[–]Siphari 0 points1 point ago

Is that a bad thing?

[–]Metamorphis 0 points1 point ago

immediately thought about this song;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltDJ2BEZYag

[–]31stPhoenix 0 points1 point ago

Your stripper nails.. Are disgusting..

[–]SydShutTheFuckUp -1 points0 points ago

guys don't bother, i looked through her submitted links. nothing on GW.

[–]NEPatsDynasty 0 points1 point ago

*Do you realize hundreds of people touched this then you shoved it in your sweaty pussy?

[–]Stewpid 0 points1 point ago

That's not a bug it's a feature.

[–]dkwashere 0 points1 point ago

I guess more the reason to roll around in it.

[–]EatingTheNight 0 points1 point ago

Ill give you 5$ for it.