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top 200 commentsshow all 243

[–]alkhalicious 237 points238 points ago

As it turns out as well, when you're in the wild, you are constantly hungry and it is a perpetual battle between finding calories and not squandering them.

[–]HEBushido 79 points80 points ago

Yeah animals eat what they can. Especially these wild cats. The African plains are harsh.

[–]wooden_spoon 26 points27 points ago

The care that goes into a kill is absurd. These animal have concentration beyond what I'm capable of. Well... Concentration under awful conditions. I guess humans are capable of pretty amazing concentration as well.

Watching these guys stalk animals in the near pitch darkness, crouching just 3 meters away from potential prey... Shit. I'd never be able to hold back to wait for the ideal moment. They're so careful and calculating.

[–]floraphalliphobic 28 points29 points ago

I'd never be able to hold back to wait for the ideal moment.

That's not how human's hunt. Proper human hunting involves chasing your prey to exhaustion. Something about us being more efficient runners.

[–]Cerveza_por_favor 32 points33 points ago

[–]circy 8 points9 points ago

Like some sort of non-giving-up school guy!

[–]werdna314 2 points3 points ago

heh!

[–]Helmet_Icicle 20 points21 points ago

Human beings are the paramount distance runners on the entire planet.

[–]ThePercontationPoint 2 points3 points ago

Horse?

[–]DBrickShaw 20 points21 points ago

If we're talking marathon distances here, a fit human can outrun a horse.

See:

http://www.smh.com.au/world/science/the-humans-who-outrun-horses-20120606-1zv96.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/27/health/27well.html?_r=0

(Not exactly academic sources I know, but I don't care to do more than 10 minutes of Googling :p)

[–]MimeGod 11 points12 points ago

Also, people can carry some food and water, and walk at a brisk pace all day. A horse needs to stop to drink and graze, or it will eventually drop from exhaustion, especially if you walk just fast enough to force the horse to alternate between walking and trotting. If it runs for a bit, it just burns out faster. Humans can pretty literally walk most animals to death. There's more than one reason we became the dominant species on earth.

[–]mik3 11 points12 points ago

Humans, fuck yeah.

[–]Frostxtq -1 points0 points ago

Were.... they aren't now. Most people couldn't outlast an animal if their lives depended on it.

[–]nxtm4n 20 points21 points ago

A human being who's actually in shape and has been doing running for their whole life is a better endurance runner than any other animal under the same conditions.

[–]ohgeronimo 2 points3 points ago

Unfortunately there are just so many things with amazing burst speed.

[–]theoriginalaks 2 points3 points ago

That's what zoos are for.

[–]0l01o1ol0 3 points4 points ago

That's what arrows are for.

FTFY

[–]Dinewiz 1 point2 points ago

I think they were suggesting most people are unfit and unhealthy due to modern lifestyles

[–]Lorf30 -2 points-1 points ago

"doing running"... painful.

[–]Helmet_Icicle 10 points11 points ago

That is not the case. There is nothing that can outlast a human being in endurance running.

[–]GrinningPariah 7 points8 points ago

There's a marathon in Scotland I believe where humans on foot are pitted against horses with riders, a person on foot usually wins.

[–]Dinewiz 4 points5 points ago

To make it fair, the people on foot should have to carry a horse on their back

[–]GrinningPariah 0 points1 point ago

Well, to be fair, this guy probably has about as much in common with the endurance of marathon runners as he does with the patience of, say, army snipers.

[–]SubtleMockery 0 points1 point ago

That was only one method of one society of humans, IIRC.

[–]oh_herro_dere 3 points4 points ago

I'd never be able to hold back to wait for the ideal moment

It's called practice

[–]Crimstone 3 points4 points ago

Well, yeah, but I'd never be able to practice. That requires too much effort.

[–]FauxShizzle 3 points4 points ago

I'd never be able to hold back to wait for the ideal moment.

Half of the time I can hardly wait for the microwave.

[–]singularissententia 2 points3 points ago

If I put you in the wilderness,the plains, or wherever there was absolutely no civilization, and left you to your own devices, you would learn to be exactly like these wild animals within in a week. Or you'd die.

That's how nature works. Honestly I think you're selling yourself short, as a human being. Perhaps this is a wild assumption to make over the internet, but I'd be willing to bet that the majority of the human population could adapt to a much more.. primal.. situation if they absolutely had to in order to survive.

Sure you'd be flustered at first. Terrified, confused. But you're a human. Compared to any other animal on the planet, you're a genius. You'd think of a way to get water. Think of a way to make a shelter. Think of a way to forage for food that won't get you sick. And eventually you'd think of a way to hunt, trap, or otherwise kill an animal to get the protein you need.

[–]inter10per 57 points58 points ago

There are a lot of animals that kill for no reason (or reasons other than eating). Cats, orcas, bluefish, dolphins, wolves, and chimps immediately come to mind, but I'm sure there are others.

[–]whiskey_nick 27 points28 points ago

Drop-bears.

[–]Accidental_Ouroboros 6 points7 points ago

I had always been told that their hunger was simply insatiable, not that they killed merely for fun. I mean, I don't think I have heard of any drop-bear attacks where the victim was not at least partially eaten.

[–]lesser_panjandrum 4 points5 points ago

Difficult to tell because so few witness their hunting habits and live to tell the tale.

[–]batfiend 0 points1 point ago

They kill tourists. Drop-bears are racists.

[–]AppleChiaki 20 points21 points ago

Wasps.

[–]d_block 8 points9 points ago

Fuck wasps. I kill them for no reason.

[–]lesser_panjandrum 12 points13 points ago

There are two rules. The first is: never kill wasps without a reason.

The second: You can always find a reason to kill wasps.

[–]Jzadek 5 points6 points ago

Their species must know its place.

[–]Fiverings 14 points15 points ago

Honey badgers.

[–]Cerveza_por_favor 3 points4 points ago

Honey badgers don't give a fuck!

[–]Vladimus44 66 points67 points ago

Humans.

[–]TinyTeddy93 7 points8 points ago

"For the sake of enjoyment, it must be added, human is a cruel and merciless beast. For the stomach ne'er grumbles, and the lips ne'er are parched, but the hands they be drenched in blood. With the quirk of his lips, and a cry of pure joy, they slice and they bite; they hit and they kick - unspeakable acts they do commit, for the sake of enjoyment."

[–]gringobachatero 0 points1 point ago

River otters.

[–]2legittoquit 0 points1 point ago

No reason, and not for food are two different things

[–]linnox 0 points1 point ago

Humans

[–]letmetellyouhowitis -1 points0 points ago

um you forgot to mention dogs. Dogs can also kill people

[–]Reshimon -1 points0 points ago

Wolverines.

[–]batfiend -2 points-1 points ago

Your mother HEYO!

[–]McPiggy 3 points4 points ago

And it looked bad for the prey once the cheetah started licking its neck. Even if I'm not hungry, you put a nice mignon in front of me and I get a whiff, I'm gonna have a bite.

[–]Lolz106 4 points5 points ago

Damn nature, You scary!

[–]snipsnip 0 points1 point ago

Source?

[–]bastian1343 1 point2 points ago

Are you implying that animals do not crack jokes and dance around enforcing the values of 50s America in the real world?

[–]Kbear52 78 points79 points ago

Actually, the mother cheetah was teaching her cubs how to catch prey and deliver the death grip or hold

[–]MrNameless 24 points25 points ago

And they didn't actually kill it. It died of a heartattack. The cubs just... got hungry.

[–]munnyfish 2 points3 points ago

so it got scared shitless into a heart attack? damn...

[–]Gildish_Chambino 8 points9 points ago

Doubtful. Sounds like pure conjecture.

[–]Billy_Bob_BoJangles 69 points70 points ago

Cats love to play with live food, they probably just finished running it down and it is too tired to run away.

[–]slick8086 9 points10 points ago

[–]ratajewie 0 points1 point ago

Have you never seen your dog deliver you presents? Hell, I've seen my friend's dog run into his backyard and demolish a nest of newborn bunnies. That's about five right there. It was horrifying, considering we didn't even know there was a rabbit's nest there. My dad's old dog would bring home a new animal every few days.

[–]slick8086 1 point2 points ago

I've never seen a dog bring presents like my cats, but I have seen our doberman go after and kill baby bunnies. I don't doubt that dogs kill a lot of stuff stuff too. The comic just points out that ppl don't think of their cats as vicious.

[–]ratajewie 1 point2 points ago

If depends. I know my cats couldn't kill something if they tried. We let them out on our patio but they just sort of sit there and look around. The closest they came is that one got a chipmunk in his mouth and brought it to the door, and dropped it. It was still alive and not injured at all. But, outdoor cats are a different issue. Some even go and have second families. They'll leave for a few days, stay at one house, come back, and repeat. It's insane. But I do know that cats are responsible for the extinction of several dozen species of birds.

[–]wooden_spoon 1 point2 points ago

They would never let it be if they thought it was capable of escaping. It was definitely exhausted, and the mom knew it.

[–]Blazeron 22 points23 points ago

My cat caught and killed a bird yesterday and after showing me she gave it to the smaller cat who was very dissapointed when it wouldn't run away :(

Wish i had another bird to give her.

Edit: I wouldn't just hand her a bird, i just wish another one would fly low and be naturally selected.

[–]beckermt 43 points44 points ago

That is both morbid and compassionate.

[–]Blazeron 9 points10 points ago

They completely wiped out the bunny population, the snake population, and squirrels.

the 5 of them are insane hunting monsters. Birds are all thats left.

[–]BroadcastingBen 2 points3 points ago

You consider your domesticated cats killing off local populations of indigenous animals natural selection?

No offense, but I find the ignorance of some cat owners appalling. Next you're going to tell me none of them are fixed so they can pass on their hunting monster lineage...

[–]Blazeron 8 points9 points ago

They are all fixed. We got them in order for them to take care of the mice and rabbits that live in the barn. These animals attract poisonous snakes that will kill our dogs/horses. We almost lost a dog to a snake bite.

[–]BroadcastingBen 4 points5 points ago

The context alleviates my fears of you living in an urbanized area, and as such I apologize for coming across harshly. I hope they continue to protect your animals. That being said, domesticated outdoor cats are often a menace to local ecosystems, and their hunting tendencies aren't at all natural to the environment they've been introduced to.

[–]batfiend 0 points1 point ago

It all depends on the ecosystem you live in, really. Most of the animals our cats on the farm hunt are introduced themselves.

[–]BroadcastingBen 1 point2 points ago

Right, I see. Thus my use of often, but it certainly does depend.

[–]batfiend 1 point2 points ago

YOUR FACE DEPENDS.

Sorry, I've come over all facetious.

That almost sounds erotic.

Sorry. I'll be going now.

[–]batfiend 1 point2 points ago

QUICKLY, THIS MAN'S HEART IS BLEEDING AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT.

[–]coleosis1414 19 points20 points ago

I'm not hungry, yet. Wanna chill until I am?

Sure!

[–]jerseylegend 26 points27 points ago

is there video to this?

[–]HooptyDooDooMeister 2 points3 points ago

Came here for this. Coming back later for an answer.

[–]HooptyDooDooMeister 0 points1 point ago

I'm giving up. (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

[–]seekingAnswers91 9 points10 points ago

I love cheetahs..

[–]rezzif 3 points4 points ago

And the lion fell in love with the lamb.

Because it was fucking delicious.

[–]gee85 15 points16 points ago

Is there a video of this?

[–]CivilCJ[!] 3 points4 points ago

Well, I doubt that the gazelle could get a hold of some bleach so it had to resort to commuting suicide by being eaten.

[–]The_Batman_44 11 points12 points ago

I've heard the commute to suicide is pretty brutal

[–]d_block 4 points5 points ago

My commute to suicide takes at least in hour in traffic.

[–]The_Batman_44 4 points5 points ago

at least its a one-way trip

[–]CivilCJ[!] 0 points1 point ago

Dammit auto correct.

[–]yesukai 2 points3 points ago

Of interest: WE are part of nature as well.

[–]zelmerszoetrop 0 points1 point ago

I can't help but wonder, what goes through those cheetahs minds as they "socialize" with that - what, antelope? - before killing it?

And then I wonder, "If there is a universal, objective morality, clearly theese cheetahs can never reach it. We can never ask a cheetah if it's wrong to eat antelope and expect an objective answer. Are we, as people, similarly limited by our own instincts and natures? Surely we are. It seems any understanding of universal morality, if such a thing could ever be said to exist, is surely beyond us."

[–]youngcynic 0 points1 point ago

Sometimes prey will kick out a weak member to save the rest. That's a kind of very primitive cooperation.

[–]socatevoli 6 points7 points ago

It's still kinda cartoonish.. just more along the lines of itchy and scratchy

[–]111111222222 3 points4 points ago

Hey, if lunch walks up to me I'm not not going to eat it.

[–]Redkitties 3 points4 points ago

(Young) Cheetahs will keep baby animals around to practice their tripping skills, that's how they capture a prey.

Source: Animal Planet. They have Big Cat Diary on around 6:00/6:30

[–]tromboner378 4 points5 points ago

Brilliant. Adds in a couple annoying pictures in text blocks to disguise the repost.

[–]Wiccy 3 points4 points ago

If this is a repost...where are the boobs?

[–]este_hombre 2 points3 points ago

Only hunting while hungry is just a stupid idea in general. That's like only grocery shopping while hungry.

[–]NowNowGuys 2 points3 points ago

You mean that you'll end up hunting only junk food?

[–]Differently 0 points1 point ago

The law of natural selection:

You'll probably die, if you're this fucking stupid.

[–]Gildish_Chambino 0 points1 point ago

The gazelle had been caught. There was nothing it could do.

[–]lesser_panjandrum 5 points6 points ago

Its backup plan of being too cute to kill was a dismal failure.

[–]Gildish_Chambino -1 points0 points ago

Haha. Many species do bank on being cute for survival. We breed the cuter cats and puppies more and are selectively creating a "cuter" species.

[–]adyendrus -1 points0 points ago

We got hungry.

[–]homerrsexual -1 points0 points ago

i'd like to see a video of this

[–]sergcamp 0 points1 point ago

Damn Nature, you scary!

[–]bonesmccoy -1 points0 points ago

thank you. I got a good laugh from the WRONG!

[–]thaencyder -1 points0 points ago

Their mothers never taught them not to play with their food.

[–]Eriklogic -1 points0 points ago

is there a video to this?

[–]EgyptianNational -1 points0 points ago

I like to belive that the cheetahs persuaded the impala to come close, played with it and made it feel welcome, then killed it by saying "look over there" then biting it's neck.

[–]theunsightlymuppet 0 points1 point ago

reminded me of this - the Animal Planet special called "Heart of a Lioness"

the story doesn't have a happy ending unfortunately.

[–]probably_butthurt -1 points0 points ago

Damn nature, you scary.

[–]SubtleMockery 0 points1 point ago

Law of wild: Eat whenever you can, because who knows when you'll get another chance.

[–]LiamtMC 0 points1 point ago

Plot Twist: They killed it, and then licked it and pet it.

[–]trollgonads 0 points1 point ago

Well I guess I should walk into your room at night, rape you, and then slowly kill and eat you. It's nature dude. Not a Disney cartoon.

[–]Dracs 1 point2 points ago

DAMN NATURE! YOU SCARY!

[–]mittins123 0 points1 point ago

Well ain't that cuuute.... BUT IT'S WRONG!

[–]BeARdBARIAN 0 points1 point ago

It is cute, ain't it? BUT IT'S WRONG!

[–]Moment0 0 points1 point ago

I bet the cheetahs were thinking "this food is acting weird, let me poke it to make sure its real..."

[–]FletchedUp 0 points1 point ago

That was easy

[–]CosmicEdge 0 points1 point ago

hahahaholy fucking shit dude

[–]FuckingAnonymous 0 points1 point ago

This made me feel guilty, I'm eating steak, it was alive once :( I won't be able to sleep tonight, but god damn this steak is good.

[–]echoNovemberNine 1 point2 points ago

Well there are odd cases like these.

[–]drerx 0 points1 point ago

that thing come by my house i kill it

[–]Carlc4 0 points1 point ago

I loved when the first part came up a while ago and then someone linked the rest of it and everyone was all "OH MY GOD!" Laughed my ass off!

[–]Daffan[!] 0 points1 point ago

Thanks Arnold, i enjoyed your Cameo

[–]ILikeFluffyThings 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of people petting cows.

[–]handsoffhobos 0 points1 point ago

poor Bambi

[–]iLuVtiffany 0 points1 point ago

When you have to work for your food by chasing all the time, you don't turn down a free meal.

[–]ZombiesBeStylinOnMeh 0 points1 point ago

at least he learn his lesson. Next time he knows not to trust anything.

[–]Senious 0 points1 point ago

:)

[–]ForgettableUsername 0 points1 point ago

The law of the wild: Kill only when KILLKILLKILL!

[–]Dustlord 0 points1 point ago

Somebody teach me how to turn sentences into links, because this is what I was thinking at the end! http://gifsoup.com/view2/1216977/but-it-s-wrong-o.gif

[–]Iyashii 1 point2 points ago

It's been 40 minutes and no reply? Fine.

Type what you want the link to say in [brackets]. Type the URL of the link in quotations after the end bracket. (link).

[.Remove all the periods.](.and you have completed your training.)

[–]Soogoodok248 1 point2 points ago

Type what you want the link to say in [brackets]. Type the URL of the link in quotations parentheses after the end bracket. (link).

ftfy

[–]Iyashii 0 points1 point ago

Thanks. I've been up too long.

[–]Dustlord 0 points1 point ago

Thanks!

[–]pyalot 0 points1 point ago

Give it another couple thousand years and cats will have figured out that tending herds of foodstock animals is a far easier method to get your meal than your meal running away from you. Trust me on this, cats are lazy. If there's a way to spend more time being lazy, cats will figure out how to do it.

[–]gravion17 0 points1 point ago

Stop playing with your food kids.

[–]Jord-UK 1 point2 points ago

Have you ever actually seen some Disney cartoons!? MUFASA!?

[–]adoltswimmer 0 points1 point ago

I'm sure no one's really gonna see this by now, but why was the creator of this image (may not have been OP) so pissed? Who is s/he mad at? Calm down, bro... You got to much feel. (swiped from r/feels)

[–]rededdandeddit -2 points-1 points ago

I'm actually okay with this. At least Bambi didn't die in fear.

[–]Gildish_Chambino 0 points1 point ago

Bambi was shitting his guts out, I guarantee it.

[–]wittynametaken -2 points-1 points ago

well that escalated quickly.

[–]gingerbreaddude -4 points-3 points ago

This should have been the storyline for twilight

[–]foxxygrandpa -4 points-3 points ago

This just made me sad :(

[–]Gildish_Chambino -3 points-2 points ago

Grow up..?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]hXcChris -2 points-1 points ago

Law of the internet, if you post things that make me ninja then I think you're a douche, and so is Ian.

[–]Uberninjaa 0 points1 point ago

Your spelling made me said.

[–]hXcChris 0 points1 point ago

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh

[–]allaboutthebacon 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of this video, where a leopard feels sorry for a baby baboon and takes care of it after killing its mother. Funny how a wild animal has more compassion than many humans.

[–]BeARdBARIAN 0 points1 point ago

That was the cutest thing I have seen.

[–]C7M 0 points1 point ago

...fake

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]NotKnifoon 18 points19 points ago

lol, close...

[–]Anosognosia 9 points10 points ago

Long horses!

[–]AggressiveAggressive 7 points8 points ago

Geraffes are so dumb

/r/longhorses