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Less-reliable predictions department: Ducks could take over the world! (imgur.com)

submitted ago by troglozyte

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[–]andy921 38 points39 points ago

Not that everything else about this isn't also wrong, but ducks actually have some of the highest instances of homosexuality in the entire animal kingdom, some species like 20%.

I looked it up once because there were these two male mallards I kept passing on my walks that would just float around together every day in the same spot nuzzling each other and shit. At first I wasn't sure that they were gay but every day, there they were, being all couple-y together before they decided to fly off and go to wherever ducks go a few weeks later.

[–]QueueNX -5 points-4 points ago

Did you witness any copulation attempts between said fowl? And based off your observation of animals being "close" you deduced they were homosexual? So by extension, would you say having a close (emotional or physical but not related to anything sexual in nature) relationship with another member of your gender is considered homosexual?

90% of the women I know personally beg to differ.

[–]livingimpaired 7 points8 points ago

I once saw two male mallard ducks mating. The whole affair involved quite a lot of honking and flapping about.

[–]RobbieGee 0 points1 point ago

I think you saw two Canadians.

[–]andy921 0 points1 point ago

You're anthropomorphizing ducks. Ducks aren't people. They don't develop "emotional" connections or friendships based on mutual understanding and reciprocity; they're ducks. They pair bond because of their physiology and stay in pairs hardly leaving each other's side from October to June. My ducks were clearly pair bonded in this way whether or not they were consummating their relationship.

On a side note, I'm quite glad I did not ever see them try to mate. Male ducks have disturbingly large... you know. I'm glad I didn't have to see what happens when one of them tries to shove his 15in battering ram places that weren't made to accommodate it.

[–]workoutsidethecircle -1 points0 points ago

Find a book called "Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity" by Bruce Bagemihl. It basically postulates, backed by research, that the instance of homosexuality in the entire animal kingdom is about the same as humans. Which makes sense, since humans are just slightly more intelligent animals.

[–]tylerbrainerd 23 points24 points ago

Brilliant troll.

[–]Entrarchy 43 points44 points ago

not that I believe in evolution.

-Age 14, Homeschooled

[–]3vans 13 points14 points ago

Pretty much. I think that just sums this whole thing up.

[–]PoliteSarcasticThing 5 points6 points ago

I really hope this kid isn't serious.

[–]disquietly 7 points8 points ago

Age 14, Homeschooled.

They probably are serious, unfortunately.

[–]po43292 5 points6 points ago

Yep, a few people in my family are fundamentalists who really believe this kind of stuff. This should also be posted in /r/WTF.

[–]s4ndp4p3rm4n 5 points6 points ago

I get the joke, but I don't see why this is in /r/futurology.

[–]planarshift 1 point2 points ago

I agree, and I downvoted as appropriate. I don't think this type of thing has any place here. I get enough "humorous" posts from the default reddit subreddits... I don't need or want that here.

[–]specialkake 2 points3 points ago

Mallard ducks routinely engage in gang rape, violent sexual assault, and even homosexual necrophilia.

Moeliker, C.W. (2001): The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos Link

[–]PartyButton 3 points4 points ago

/r/atheism is <----- that way

[–]troglozyte[S] 3 points4 points ago

The link actually doesn't mention atheism or theism.

Project much?

[–]PartyButton -3 points-2 points ago

neither does /r/atheism

[–]Eryemil 0 points1 point ago

Says the guy in a subreddit that is overwhelmingly transhumanist.

[–]PartyButton 4 points5 points ago

This post is not productive nor enlightening, it serves only to mock, much like the posts on that aforementioned subreddit.

[–]Eryemil -1 points0 points ago

It's as relevant to this subreddit as all the other idiotic or outdated future predictions that get posted here. The intent of the original poster is irrelevant.

[–]planarshift 3 points4 points ago

No, because the "idiotic" and/or "outdated" future predictions I assume you are referring to are all worthy of discussion as they are/were actual predictions. This is obviously a troll writing into a newspaper and it warrants absolutely no meaningful discussion.

[–]Stuffitall 1 point2 points ago

There were some good comments from /r/nz ; http://www.reddit.com/r/newzealand/comments/10udz9/meanwhile_in_north_canterbury/

Petitioning Trevor Mallard had to turn up!

[–]ohhbacon 1 point2 points ago

There needs to be an r/shithomeschooledkidssay

[–]molality 1 point2 points ago

What a fanciful supposition by a young inquiring mind. My personal opinion is that there are much greater threats to our survival such as the tragedy of the commons that might occur, but her vivid imagining of a homosexuality induced duck world left be delighted and entertained. 100 horse sized ducks or one duck sized horse, amirite, guise?

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