this post was submitted on
1,467 points (55% like it)
7,105 up votes 5,638 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,581,531 readers

9,943 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

1466
1467

Down low... too slow (imgur.com)

submitted ago by DIRTYL1TTL3PANDA

all 173 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]parzx 232 points233 points ago

Why is everyone overreacting? I'm a massive liverpool fan and Stevie g is my favorite player of all time but I honestly don't see anything wrong with this!!!the kid was just having a bit of fun and Gerrard acknowledged it by patting him on the cheek... Hey man, I wouldn't complain if Gerrard touched my face...(no homo)

[–]opus666 28 points29 points ago

At least he didn't wipe his bogey on the boy's face unlike a certain Spanish goalkeeper.

[–]wolvmatt 24 points25 points ago

When you say "liverpool," do you mean Samsung or Carlsberg?

[–]B0SSARU 17 points18 points ago

Liverpool is Red, Chelsea is Blue.

[–]The_Painted_Man 11 points12 points ago

Liverpool is Red

Chelsea is Blue

I don't watch sports

So fuck you.

kidding!

[–]B0SSARU 12 points13 points ago

Tottenham is white

Cities light blue

OP is a faggot

and so are you.

[–]undercoveruser 5 points6 points ago

Carlsberg FC

[–]36009955 5 points6 points ago

Well a grown man certainly ain't about to get punked by a 5 year old but sure ain't gonna beat him up either, cause that would be messed

[–]Ouizardus 1 point2 points ago

Uhhhhh, he did get punked by the brat.

[–]alaskaman42 9 points10 points ago

Honestly I hate when people do "the face pat". Its like a 1/10 strength face slap.

Light Double elbow to the arm is better.

[–]Josh_The_Boss 1 point2 points ago

Its more insulting than used as an actual attack.

[–]bluemirror -2 points-1 points ago

I'll take it if the dude is higher status than me, besides that you can consider yourself on the shit list

[–]Apostrophizer 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure, in the video, the kid was put up to it by Lampard, who's standing next to the kid.

[–]Chocolate-Panda 56 points57 points ago

Did you know that its actually Joe Cole offering his hand to gerrard.

[–]type1_OG 13 points14 points ago

as an arsenal fan who despises chelsea, i find humor in this

[–]patarzap 6 points7 points ago

the thing about arsenal is they always try to walk it in

[–]enough_space 0 points1 point ago

Joe Cole has been dead for 20 years...

[–]xntrix -1 points0 points ago

Wrong

[–]Rab_Legend 48 points49 points ago

People need to stop taking this as seriously as they do, the boy had a wee bit of fun messing with a famous football player, Gerrard didn't do anything wrong patting the kid on the cheek. The boy will probably be bragging to his friends the day after this happened, which was last year.

[–]HighVoltageTurtle 15 points16 points ago

Considering we haven't had the Carlsberg sponsor since the 09/10 season, it wasn't last year. Judging from the kit, I'd say this is anywhere between 6 and 8 years ago.

[–]tastesliketurtles 11 points12 points ago

That's Chelsea's 05/06 kit.

[–]HighVoltageTurtle 5 points6 points ago

There we go then. The Liverpool kit was 04/06 so I wasn't sure which season it was.

[–]Slintbob 3 points4 points ago

And that's a reebok kit which hasn't been used for 7 years so your right on the money.

[–]gezinmypants 2 points3 points ago

This actually happened a good few years ago. The kid was like 6/7 at the time I think? Now he is in High School.

[–]alexfrance250291 23 points24 points ago

Steven Gerrard. Liverpool Legend, 'nuff said. http://www.liverpoolfc.com/team/first-team/player/steven-gerrard

[–]tastesliketurtles 19 points20 points ago

Chelsea legend as well.

I'll never forget his expert back pass to Drogba 2 years ago. Or that stunning header back in '05.

Steeeeevvvveeee Gerrard, Gerrard

He kisses the badge on his chest

Then puts in a transfer request

Steve Gerrard, Gerrard

[–]type1_OG 0 points1 point ago

false, fernando torres kissed the badge upon his chest and sent his transfer request......

[–]tastesliketurtles 3 points4 points ago

Yeah, but he actually made the transfer, so we like him

Football fan logic

[–]type1_OG 2 points3 points ago

this is true. still a fantastic footballer regardless

[–]tastesliketurtles 1 point2 points ago

Indeed, looking better this season as well. Not his old self completely, but a lot better compared to 10/11.

[–]type1_OG 0 points1 point ago

indeed, he had a shit season last year compared to his prior heroics at liverpool

[–]ElRed_ 0 points1 point ago

You guys have to put up with fat Frank, we have to help out sometimes! I guess that joke is better with John Terry these day considering his antics but whatever. All in good humour.

[–]Hazlzz 0 points1 point ago

I'll never forget his expert back pass to Drogba 2 years ago.

As a United supporter, me neither.

[–]therealmikelane 1 point2 points ago

That has to be a contender for best chant, neck-and-neck with Park's (old) United chant.

[–]raptorshadow 3 points4 points ago

For reference:

Park, Park wherever you may be,

We all know you eat dogs in your home country,

But it could be worse, you could be a scouse,

Eating rats in a council house!

Edited because I'm a moron

[–]therealmikelane 2 points3 points ago

Eating dogs in a council house!

Rats.

Close enough, though!

[–]raptorshadow 0 points1 point ago

damnit I wrote dogs but thought rats. Stupid brain I missed the whole damn joke >.>

[–]nebbish 5 points6 points ago

The kid is the legend there

[–]jackie_treehorn_ 0 points1 point ago

A legend with many English championships.

[–]cleric04 8 points9 points ago

That little kid is lucky he isn't a DJ.

[–]Akolyte01 1 point2 points ago

huh

[–]uphigh_downlow 2 points3 points ago

My counterpart.

[–]mushroomwig 8 points9 points ago

I love how Gerrard tries to meet the handshake with the wrong hand.

[–]I_luv_spacedicks 33 points34 points ago

The kid extended with the wrong hand in the first place

[–]vaginasareawesome 1 point2 points ago

i saw this on 'a league of their own' earlier, coincidences ey' haha

[–]BenAdaephonDelat 2 points3 points ago

That's cute, and clearly the guy took it with a sense of humor. I couldn't be offended by that cute of a display.

[–]AdarshVader 0 points1 point ago

STEVIE G. WOOHOOO

[–]Im_Legit 43 points44 points ago

If that happened in 'Merica, that red shirt player, Gerrard, would be getting sued for child abuse, assualt, physical and emotional pain & suffering...

[–]MrNameless 141 points142 points ago

Funfact: The myth of the frivolous American lawsuit is generally misunderstood by most people. While it's true people can sue anybody, anytime, it does not mean that they will win and in fact if they don't present a good case then they won't win. What most people don't understand (because they haven't really looked deeper than a comedian's joke) is that most 'frivolous' lawsuits actually have basis.

Remember the girl who sued McDonalds for not having a warning sign that their coffee is hot? People like to cite it as the posterboy of frivolous lawsuits. But in fact her claims were evaluated by the court, and McDonalds was found to have brewed coffee at such extreme temperatures (so that the smell would drift to through the lobby and attract customers) that it was unsafe for any person to drink. She received 2nd and partial 3rd degree burns from spilling the coffee. Her damages were awarded as the estimated profits of extra people that bought the coffee because of the unsafe process for one day. IE: She didn't get all the profits but just the extra the smell was supposed to bring in.

The reason you don't hear the whole truth is the person suing usually has to sign a non-disclosure to receive compensation. So McDonalds (and other corporations) can laugh it off as a silly girl getting her way (and she can't dispute it publicly) so that the majority of people think that suing is extremely frivolous. And unfortunately it's working. :(

That's it for today's lesson by Dr. Buzz Killington.

[–]FuckSNL 40 points41 points ago

Seriously. I feel the only ones who keep saying "HAHA WOW IF THIS HAPPENED IN 'MERICA ETC." don't even live in America.

[–]DontThinkTooHard 14 points15 points ago

Not my fault the rock im under is too heavy

[–]CariniGambarini 3 points4 points ago

I'm finishing my teaching credential in California this year. The first segment of our Kinesiology (essentially PE) class was devoted to what not to do in order to protect yourself from being sued. There are conventions at state levels each year at which litigators are better prepared for suing elementary teachers. It's due to this overly-litigious mentality that things like dodge ball and the windmill stretch are now expressly forbidden in schools.

[–]chickwith2dicks 1 point2 points ago

You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Dodgeball. The game where you throw soft, squishy balls at other people, is banned? And the windmill stretch? I mean, I can somewhat understand dodgeball, but what the hell?!

[–]CariniGambarini 4 points5 points ago

Dodgeball is a "target game," and is "indefensible." The stretching bans make zero sense to me, but that's the point. Litigators mess everything up for the rest of us.

[–]Phenomena0 0 points1 point ago

It's a stereotype. Everyone has 'em.

[–]kkn27 3 points4 points ago

There are pictures of the burns she received floating around somewhere. By not linking to them, I'm doing everyone a huge favor. It's disgusting.

[–]Godmadius 5 points6 points ago

Could you tell us a story about a bridge?

[–]andrew35133 -1 points0 points ago

So your not nameless :P

[–]Early-Cuyler 1 point2 points ago

The reason you don't hear the whole truth is the person suing usually has to sign a non-disclosure to receive compensation.

If you settle out of court. Have never heard of this being a part of the court judgement, but maybe I'm wrong.

[–]sndzag1 0 points1 point ago

I assume this is paraphrased from that one book that one lady wrote who was on the Colbert Report. Can't remember the book name, but the title was about the coffee spilling incident.

[–]Abner_Snopes 0 points1 point ago

That lady was lucky it spilled rather than trying to have swallowed it.

[–]AussieSceptic 0 points1 point ago

Only if she tried to chug it down all at once, and who does that?

With hot drinks, you have a little sip to test how hot it is first.

[–]honestlydude 0 points1 point ago

While this is true, there is a reason you are required to put "Caution: Hot" on certain things that are obviously going to be hot or put out a "Caution: Wet Floor" sign when the floor is obviously wet. Far be it from me to call people stupid, but I think common sense (or maybe it's just in the nature of people to take advantage of certain situations to get ahead) is a little too uncommon.

[–]Dichotomouse 1 point2 points ago

Not to mention the fact that this case was decided in 1994, and is still really the one of only examples people point to as a 'frivolous' lawsuit with a payout in this country. If these lawsuits are such a rampant problem, why haven't there been more to point to in the last 18 years?

[–]Really_Great_Suit 0 points1 point ago

By definition, frivolous lawsuits are without merit. What you mean is that a lot of lawsuits that are considered frivolous have merit. That depends on who is doing the characterization, but really there are thousands of frivolous lawsuits in the US every year that gum up the system. You're right, those people most likely won't recover but litigation is expensive and time consuming even if it goes nowhere. You're right the McDonald's coffee incident was a valid claim, but that doesn't excuse the literally thousands of other completely ridiculous suits that serve to do nothing but waste money and time. Baseless lawsuits are a huge problem in the current system. Also, you can not "sue anybody, any time." There's a lot of rules on that to say the least.

[–]isofat 8 points9 points ago

Oh shut up. These types of comments are annoying and stupid.

[–]DIRTYL1TTL3PANDA[S] 211 points212 points ago

I don't know how, but the suing would be done by apple

[–]Dragon_yum 12 points13 points ago

The bravery if both of you is truly inspiring.

[–]vxx 33 points34 points ago

If it was by Apple it wouldn't matter if it happened in America or not.

[–]rushingfox 65 points66 points ago

He did a slide on the child's cheek

[–]prezjordan 22 points23 points ago

Zero-length slap.

[–]rbra 28 points29 points ago

And his cheeks are also rounded.

[–]Java_Beans 0 points1 point ago

...the blue team is wearing Samsung ads.

[–]LastRedCoat 5 points6 points ago

But since it's in 'Ngland, the blue shirt player directing the little kid, Terry, gets sued for racial abuse...

[–]BimbelMarley 11 points12 points ago

"that red shirt player", oh god, shitstorm incoming!

[–]parttimehuman 0 points1 point ago

Does it matter to you that you're completely fucking wrong about that?

[–]BillDAWG -4 points-3 points ago

DEA 'murca is bad: s[weed]en is good [11]

[–]JustinATaylor -2 points-1 points ago

"Fox News" Breaking story tonight! Red soccer player slaps Blue child fan. Live on the scene.....

[–]ralliartevo -2 points-1 points ago

And this is why people hate us Americans. Everyone acts like little bitches. I see nothing wrong with what took place here. I think it was very admirable that he even acknowledged the kid after getting elementary punked like that. Love it.

Edit; autocorrect can suck it.

[–]bunnysofdooms 9 points10 points ago

It is a child people. And even if it was an adult he should have done the same. Truth is in life some people just aren't going to like you...

[–]CmndrSalamander 1 point2 points ago

If I'm not mistaken the kid actually gets the low-five AND a pat on the cheek. Consider me jelly.

[–]squeezecake 1 point2 points ago

Chelsea is the best EPL team

[–]Droch 0 points1 point ago

Cheeky little chav!

[–]PelennorFields 0 points1 point ago

Stevie G being punked by a Chelsea kid? My my!

[–]Hypoxis -1 points0 points ago

-slap- -slap-

[–]Modernfighter44 -1 points0 points ago

Clever bastard

[–]SUPERrob90 -1 points0 points ago

"Blue knight rules!! red knight sucks the big one!!" "Red knight goin down! down, down, down!" "The red knight's goin down! down, down, down!"

[–]Paultimate79 -1 points0 points ago

Came to see the cunts being outraged.

not disappointing.

[–]Jarl_Walnut 1 point2 points ago

Looks like gang violence has hit an all time low, Crips and Bloods are resorting to pranking now.

[–]money_buys_a_jetski 0 points1 point ago

Why does he lean into it? I hope that kid didn't go into any sort of fighting or martial arts.

[–]lgonzalez -1 points0 points ago

Gerrard <3

[–]fever-moon -1 points0 points ago

the kid seems like the asshole to me, not the athlete...

[–]SteveP89 -1 points0 points ago

Gerrard is a baller, plain and simple.

[–]zach1019 -2 points-1 points ago

Its ok because that kid knows Chelsea FC is better

[–]logicalthinker1 -2 points-1 points ago

That's such a "yeah well fuck you ya little shit" moment

[–]Gk18hemeyer -2 points-1 points ago

I laughed way too hard at this!

[–]LatakiaBlend -2 points-1 points ago

It's a little known fact that this child would, in just a few short years, become the young man that Ashley Cole shoots with an air rifle.

[–]ericishere -2 points-1 points ago

The little boy is so cute!

[–]kleptophobiac -2 points-1 points ago

I've seen that a hundred times and never noticed until now that the cheeky little monkey's hair is blue.

[–]ISHOULDSTARTDRINKING -2 points-1 points ago

One of my very few favorite gifs, I like the bigger version though.

[–]IFlippedYourTable -2 points-1 points ago

If a Red kid did that too John Terry...the kid would be in juvenile hall. You know it. I know it. Chelski knows it.

[–]SugarBear4Real -1 points0 points ago

Brilliant! haha

[–]kompiler -4 points-3 points ago

A kid that young would have been trained to do that by his dad. He got away with it that time because he's young (and Gerrard wouldn't want to be seen smacking a kid on TV). But one day it will all backfire on the kid when he does it to a bigger kid who'll proceed to beat the crap out of him.

[–]TeeMoch 0 points1 point ago

I really hope you're trolling, because you just went full retard.

[–]tylorjams -4 points-3 points ago

Down vote... Repost.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ismo420 -4 points-3 points ago

If I was going to spell the word "what" wrong how would I do it

[–]Lextron 0 points1 point ago

wat.

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 30316 on app-11 running bd731f1.