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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Shinasti 513 points514 points ago

They look like dolphins - OF COURSE I WANT THIS.

[–]TheLastSpoonBender 237 points238 points ago

And you don't even need to get a dolphinplasty!

[–]rattlemebones 67 points68 points ago

Fuck I already blew my money on my negroplasty

[–]Unfa 43 points44 points ago

How does it feel to be both black and broke?

[–]Bakoro 96 points97 points ago

Redundant.

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 38 points39 points ago

I'm curious how this surgical procedure works.

[–]fedupwith 85 points86 points ago

Ask Kyle's dad.

[–]addandsubtract 24 points25 points ago

FUCK A YOU DOLPHIN!!!

[–]Josh_The_Boss 8 points9 points ago

AND FUCK A YOU, WHARRRRE!!!

[–]SteelersMan7 16 points17 points ago

that went right over your head

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 56 points57 points ago

What?! Are you telling me there's no way for a person to become a dolphin?!

Fuck this gay earth.

[–]SparkySparkinton 46 points47 points ago

You'd be good at sarcastaball.

[–]cebullgator 20 points21 points ago

I heard about the dolphin rape caves. :(

[–]shoziku 11 points12 points ago

With this device, you can be the king of the cave now.

[–]Jonny_Watts 84 points85 points ago

[–]lofty29 75 points76 points ago

My brain...

[–]ruffus4life 2 points3 points ago

My brannnnnn

[–]three_way_frap 10 points11 points ago

My Brandd...

[–]timdorr 13 points14 points ago

[–]WalkerGeek 7 points8 points ago

Every time I see a dolphin logo I can't take it seriously. And not for the reason you might think. It always reminds me of Ace Ventera

[–]Wackydude1234 3 points4 points ago

I literally just watched the second movie!

[–]get_slade 24 points25 points ago

[–]I_ran_out_of_spac 219 points220 points ago

Pretty sure I would hurt my myself badly about 10 minutes after I got one.

[–]pieguyfry22 285 points286 points ago

[–]Ethanol_Gut 81 points82 points ago

chances someone reposts this within the next two hours:100%

[–]Pick_Zoidberg 87 points88 points ago

Chances that this was posted within the previous 24 hours: 100%

Source: I dun seen it.

[–]Ethanol_Gut 12 points13 points ago

oh I know, as I dun seen it as well.

[–]Dwarfenstein 24 points25 points ago

[–]L1ft3d_R3s3arCh 19 points20 points ago

I SEEN'T IT

[–]albinobluesheep 19 points20 points ago

The reporter got his arm in the way and literally hit the "off" switch as the guy was trying to fly away.

[–]Terror_Baron 2 points3 points ago

Oh shit, you can see that. That sucks!

[–]JWheelwright 2 points3 points ago

"Boba Fett? Boba Fett? Where!?!"

[–]benny121 2 points3 points ago

The hose cot caught on the corner of the dock, but good try.

[–]9ren 7 points8 points ago

He does better after the start, but no one ever shows it.

[–]bombmistro 12 points13 points ago

As a San Diegan I am ashamed of this clip

[–]owlseverywhere 12 points13 points ago

Yes, you would. And it starts right now!

[–]Must_be_wrong_here 20 points21 points ago

so... is that an Yes?

[–]intensely_human 10 points11 points ago

hard for me to imagine you saying the word "yes"

[–]justfetus 3 points4 points ago

anus

[–]agus468 5 points6 points ago

I'm pretty sure I would drown.

[–]myblackguitar 187 points188 points ago

Super Mario Sunshine IRL

[–]wunderbars 22 points23 points ago

oh, fludd.

[–]broussac 8 points9 points ago

About to break out the trusty gamecube. Never leaving my TV, commencing.... now

[–]Muddobber14 264 points265 points ago

Submerged rocks would suck ass.

[–]Sephus 224 points225 points ago

[–]Xenophyophore 41 points42 points ago

It's the helmet from that movie/very short book about a superhero who found and mastered an alcohol powered jetpack, right?

[–]woah_notcoolbro 59 points60 points ago

The rocketeer.

[–]tetramitus 11 points12 points ago

I seriously loved that movie as a kid.

[–]Pawn_Raul 25 points26 points ago

What the fuck is NOT to love about American pro-science anti-nazi propaganda? Also, I still believe that bubblegum cures fuel leaks and that this knowledge will be vital to me at some point in my life.

[–]tetramitus 9 points10 points ago

This is why I always carry gum with me on an airplane. ALWAYS.

[–]Pawn_Raul 17 points18 points ago

One time I actually saw my pilot stick a piece of chewing gum on the outside of the plane as he got in. I felt safe as fuck.

[–]TheDoc85 2 points3 points ago

It would probably just freeze and fall off at higher altitude.

[–]Pawn_Raul 14 points15 points ago

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

How dare you shit on my dreams?

[–]Xenophyophore 5 points6 points ago

Yep, that's what it is called!

[–]fizikz3 81 points82 points ago

hitting the water head first from the height you get from these would probably hurt.

[–]fredyybob 17 points18 points ago

Ya, you can see those people do a flip and reduce their speed right before they hit the water. Could be very easy to break a neck or at least get a concussion from that.

[–]I_play_elin 16 points17 points ago

They're going in head first though... I don't think it's any worse than diving from a high dive

[–]JayPetey 5 points6 points ago

Except the only force behind diving is gravity. This is gravity and the force of a high-powered water pump...

[–]wasdy1 25 points26 points ago

Losing control and shooting to the bottom and running out of air would be a bit worse.

[–]jaciw 17 points18 points ago

It'll be nice to just do it and have fun instead of thinking of all endless possible ways things can go wrong

[–]TouteDeLaSmore 106 points107 points ago

Apparently it's harder than it looks. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMaN1dU0KMk

edit: typo

[–]sit_I_piz 25 points26 points ago

Looks pretty hard

[–]jaceydo 33 points34 points ago

[–]another_mouse 2 points3 points ago

Those are different products. The flyboard things seem to use the output of the jetski. I believe the jetpack product has a dedicated bouie that follows you about.

[–]PastaPoet 4 points5 points ago

You're right. The one in the the gif is much much cheaper, thrusts from your foot, and just hooks into a jet ski, whereas the one in jaceydo's video is very expensive, has it's own motor, and thrusts from the back.

[–]buckykat 11 points12 points ago

"harder than it looks?"

that reporter figured out how to hover in minutes.

[–]Kritical02 60 points61 points ago

laugh tracks on a youtube video are just sooooo wrong.

[–]Arenn21 42 points43 points ago

His name is Rick Mercer, and he's essentially Canada's Stephen Colbert. His show is fantastic, he goes all over Canada to try cool shit.

[–]Kritical02 12 points13 points ago

I stand corrected on it being in a youtube only video.

I enjoyed the humor, but that's not a live audience laugh... definitely laugh track.

[–]Arenn21 6 points7 points ago

Oh yes, it's definitely a laugh track. It just wasn't created for youtube.

[–]gzafiris 17 points18 points ago

It's from the Canadian TV show The Rick Mercer Report. That's his audience laughing. And he is loved by every Canadian ever.

[–]internet_interpol 5 points6 points ago

Jealousy is at critical mass!!

[–]JulianosArchipelagos 35 points36 points ago

Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh my God I'd wreck so much shit with that

[–]Stanstanlol 63 points64 points ago

Yes. Mostly your face and everything attached to it.

[–]Acocunt 21 points22 points ago

So, his face, and his face?

[–]Carbon_Dirt 3 points4 points ago

Plus ears, scalp, temples, and general neck-ish area.

[–]pman1043 33 points34 points ago

Someday this will be an Olympic sport.

[–]ffualo 14 points15 points ago

[–]mint-bint 23 points24 points ago

Looks incredibly painful actually. But yes.

[–]helgihermadur 10 points11 points ago

Nope. No one wants anything this awesome.

[–]Leafy_head 15 points16 points ago

They're making water rocket assisted headers into the water. Seems like this would cause at least some kind of injury, if not an old fashioned broken neck.

[–]MileHighBarfly 5 points6 points ago

Why would I want a pair of them?

[–]hebrew_orphan_asylum 2 points3 points ago

I thought I was the only one confused by the title.

[–]All_Fallible 6 points7 points ago

I have never in my life been more upset by the wealth of others.

[–]Honkan 20 points21 points ago

If I had the money I would buy 20 of them and start a real waterfight-club, and we would man up 10 vs 10 and have epic mid-air waterfights.

[–]Torisen 13 points14 points ago

If I win the lotto I'll give you a call, I like the way you think.

[–]throughtheflux 1 point2 points ago

Wanna give me a call too?

[–]JontanD 10 points11 points ago

Dem bellyflops.

[–]roman923 10 points11 points ago

"Oh, don't mind me, just being Iron Man."

[–]garyfloyd9690 50 points51 points ago

Why is this on /r/funny?

[–]GirlsCANbeEngineers 21 points22 points ago

you don't find that funny looking?

[–]jeveuxtevoir 16 points17 points ago

I'm in stitches.

[–]therestruth 32 points33 points ago

Get well soon.

[–]T0mmyGun 8 points9 points ago

These are only like a $7,000 attachment if you already have a jet ski, that's pretty reasonable considering. But then you also have to take a $300 day long training session before you're licensed to use it.

[–]Whired 3 points4 points ago

They told me I could be anything, so I became a dolphin

[–]seanpmc 9 points10 points ago

Why the hell is this in /r/funny

[–]durrunderkunder 4 points5 points ago

I think one set would be enough...

[–]EngineF 3 points4 points ago

Yeah that'll be real fun until the hose wraps around your neck and you drown

[–]citizen311 2 points3 points ago

Nah, I could do without.

[–]Alexhatzia 2 points3 points ago

This is possibly the sickest invention ever.

[–]Iceman_Dan 2 points3 points ago

[–]SargoDarya 3 points4 points ago

That looks so stupid yet so awesome it's incredible.

[–]the_penultimate_user 1 point2 points ago

"Good bye and thanks for all the fish."

[–]mikachu22 6 points7 points ago

"So long and thanks for all the fish."

FTFY

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]simsedotdk[S] 10 points11 points ago

Apparently, I found all of the karma I wanted here. You were clearly wrong sir. Lol.

[–]JLHess 4 points5 points ago

Fuck it. Here's an upvote for being smug.

[–]simsedotdk[S] 8 points9 points ago

Okay, I will.

[–]GirlsCANbeEngineers 2 points3 points ago

Ignore him. It's clearly funny looking.

[–]cor_dharmonie 1 point2 points ago

This is why people should come to Canada.

[–]ProffieThrowaway 1 point2 points ago

Hitting the water face first would possibly be unpleasant.

[–]turnoverkid 1 point2 points ago

They look like the rollerbladers of water sports.

[–]this_sort_of_thing 0 points1 point ago

I would but I know I'd cause myself serious injury, maybe towards the end of a holiday...it wouldn't be the first thing I try...

[–]magnetar5135 1 point2 points ago

Get that. Get an Iron Man suit.

Yea, I can fly.

[–]Nixterella 1 point2 points ago

Suddenly, bellyflop.

[–]bluefairygodmother 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of this http://youtu.be/he2a4xK8ctk

[–]djnuni 1 point2 points ago

I have never wanted something more

[–]topman213 0 points1 point ago

sure but i dont have a spare $6,600 plus $1,000 for lessons laying around...

[–]jakemyers7 2 points3 points ago

sooooooooooo much water up the nose

[–]Nickkis 0 points1 point ago

Nope noone wants to have boat loads of fun with these nope

[–]wick3Dwick 0 points1 point ago

if it was on a board and if it was wireless i would totally get it

[–]Tyaedalis 0 points1 point ago

Iron Man of the sea!

[–]Cheveyo -1 points0 points ago

I would end up drowning myself, so no, I don't want that.

[–]NoOne0507 -1 points0 points ago

No. I had fun once. It was horrible.

[–]seieibob 1 point2 points ago

Super Mario Sunshine in real life? Count me in.

[–]QuickEscalation 1 point2 points ago

Super Mario Sunshine?

[–]T13mp0 1 point2 points ago

Must be pretty expensive to produce that amount of energy constantly

[–]TheActualAWdeV 1 point2 points ago

BADASS.

[–]xniinja 0 points1 point ago

I mean, if you don't want them I could take them off your hands for you.

[–]FlyBoyChoy 1 point2 points ago

OH. MY. GOD! What is it!?

[–]Mitiger 0 points1 point ago

Brothers! The team is calling... ASEEEEMBLE!

[–]boodhabelly 1 point2 points ago

I AM NEPTUNE!!!! KING OF THE SEA!!!!

[–]NlNTENDO 1 point2 points ago

First of all, why is this in funny? Secondly, me. I would love one of these.

[–]Nillix -1 points0 points ago

Not really. I'd probably manage to kill myself trying to use it.

[–]Dpopple 1 point2 points ago

SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH

[–]kleptobismol 1 point2 points ago

I fucking chase dolphins all goddamn day

[–]dannytsf 1 point2 points ago

THAT'S A CLOWN QUESTION BRO.

[–]amorell89 0 points1 point ago

Not funny, but awesome enough to render all fucks given irrelevant.

[–]Versaton 0 points1 point ago

Apparently this is hilarious. Humor has changed greatly. Once upon a time it was only funny content allowed here.

[–]TheAnimax 0 points1 point ago

I feel like the diving part would hurt my head...a lot...

[–]TypicalRunOfTheMill 0 points1 point ago

nah, i am a land mammal and wimp now. but that's cool to see that technology advance!

[–]narpas -1 points0 points ago

No I'm pretty sure that I'd rather be swimming like a normal fuck of course everybody wants these.

What you've managed to do is a simple psychological trick: upvote is a positive response, downvote is a negative response. If people agree with the question in the title, they upvote it. It's the same trick people used to use back in the day, "Upvote if you're a guy, downvote if you're a girl!" except sneakier.

[–]AnalBurns 0 points1 point ago

Holy freakin zora cunt fuck!

[–]The_Bangs 0 points1 point ago

Why a pair? you can only use one at once. Silly goose.

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 0 points1 point ago

I totally do that when I squirt.

[–]Ragnalypse -1 points0 points ago

You'd be hard-pressed to find something that looks as cool and stupid as this.

[–]Galcynta 0 points1 point ago

MY WHOLE BODY IS A DOLPHIN

[–]kajlisko 0 points1 point ago

..they should make this into an olympic sport in time for the year 2016!

[–]ELEMENTALITYNES 0 points1 point ago

why would i buy a pair of these... I WANT ALL OF THEM.

[–]candyman82 0 points1 point ago

I don't. I would die.

[–]Sir_Smashing 0 points1 point ago

I only need one because I have no friends :(

[–]keyree 0 points1 point ago

That dolphin part looks like it would be slamming you in the testicles over and over again.

[–]RooR67 0 points1 point ago

Gimme, Gimme

[–]enzeru666 0 points1 point ago

Yup, this is hilarious.

[–]thejordanguy 0 points1 point ago

MOOOOOM! I WANT IT!

[–]zifu 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, only costs $6795 and requires a jetski for power.

[–]AMBsFather -1 points0 points ago

Yeah because I have an extra $90k right? Oh yeah secret Santa is coming up on reddit :).

[–]cnaim76 0 points1 point ago

...until you hit a rock

[–]PopFossa 0 points1 point ago

I'll take 2 of the cyborg Mermen, thank ya kindly.

[–]WhiteLinesSniff 0 points1 point ago

[–]AugurAuger -1 points0 points ago

those look incredibly tiring. core strength needed.

[–]-KCS-Violator 0 points1 point ago

I didn't know men could build such things.

[–]ElevateYourself 0 points1 point ago

Why is this posted under r/funny? This should be posted under /r/AWESOME

[–]Wabbstarful 0 points1 point ago

You mean "like if you want this"......... do not make this a thing you hussy.

[–]everleet 0 points1 point ago

Drowning would be so easy

[–]9ren 0 points1 point ago

Are they diving into the water on porpoise?

[–]rbobby 0 points1 point ago

It would be interesting to see this paired with the automated balancing technology of the Segway.

[–]KwBionic 0 points1 point ago

Sooooo cooool

[–]syndicated_writer 1 point2 points ago

The gators would love those. They're noisy, but they deliver food right into your mouth!

[–]TheSixthAvenger 0 points1 point ago

Iron man suits. GIMME BITCH

[–]Compumerk 0 points1 point ago

I know a seal when I see one.

[–]TheAmityvillain 1 point2 points ago

Jesus fuck today I learn how boring redditors are. Every other comment is Euhh I might get huuurt.

[–]Blitzwire 0 points1 point ago

right at the end it looks the guy in the lead took a giant 360 whiz

[–]nvflip 0 points1 point ago

I wouldn't do it alone but yes, I would try it!

[–]chewtality 1 point2 points ago

[–]gryphonlord 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit it's like being a waterbender

[–]brettboy01 1 point2 points ago

since nobody has posted this http://jetovator.com/index.html

[–]Blinklink7 0 points1 point ago

Pair of what, ese? ¿Cojones?

[–]Dagus_Prophet 0 points1 point ago

Nah.

[–]neotropic9 0 points1 point ago

In the on-line commercial I watched for these it said "goes great with your yacht or private island!"

sigh

[–]EnysAtSea 0 points1 point ago

The bike costs over $9,000.

Seems like a very expensive way for the untrained user to kill them self.

[–]OneLifeLived -1 points0 points ago

I'd be good with just one

[–]dayyim 0 points1 point ago

How is this funny?...

[–]gbsolo12 0 points1 point ago

Super Mario Sunshine Swag

[–]bannana 0 points1 point ago

It looks extremely uncomfortable.

[–]HigherPrimate 0 points1 point ago

Money doesnt buy happiness my ass.

[–]theRAGE 0 points1 point ago

See this about once a week on reddit.

[–]Sturner2 0 points1 point ago

I am a sales rep for Flyboard Inc. Buy one from me!

[–]rofljay -1 points0 points ago

OMG! I'M SO FREAKIN JELLY OF THEM! I AM PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY WITH BANANA AND THE BANANA IS ALSO JELLY!

[–]Cojemos 0 points1 point ago

Of course not. I'd be that one person who beat the odds and was killed using it.

[–]oleada87 0 points1 point ago

This is not funny, pretty awesome...just not funby

[–]level1biscuit 0 points1 point ago

You think that's fun in the water? Pfffft. THIS is fun in the water. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F22N1Usr2cY

[–]BlueLand3r 0 points1 point ago

Fuck a pair, I'll just take one.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

NEED NEED NEED

[–]finallymadeanaccount -1 points0 points ago

"Yeah, dolphins, you go ahead and evolve opposable thumbs. We don't care!"

[–]jazzcanhaslife -1 points0 points ago

I need that in my life..... now.....

[–]Moewron -1 points0 points ago

Yes, but I'm not sure this is "funny"