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1780
1781

Winning $5 on a $5 lottery ticket (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by NemisisX31

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[–]herrkelf 75 points76 points ago

So is that five dollars taxable as income now?

[–]lethargicwalrus 57 points58 points ago

Nice try, government.

[–]aVagrantNearElm 6 points7 points ago

Wage hurt? Call IRS.

thats an anagram of your name related to your comment.

[–]misstyke 0 points1 point ago

Everytime someone throws an anagram at me.

[–]z3r0gk 0 points1 point ago

Nice Try rich bank CEO controlling the IRS... You cleva CEO you.

[–]odd84 27 points28 points ago

You are supposed to report both gambling winnings and losses. You have a $5 win and a $5 loss, so there's no tax burden. The tax code isn't that crazy. You only pay if you actually have new money in your pocket.

[–]legalizemarijuana 1 point2 points ago

Yes but just to be safe they should tax me on it and return it next year, IF I make the correct deduction of course.

[–]capsstuck 1 point2 points ago

THATS WHY I DONT DO MY TAXES

[–]pwnerofall 1 point2 points ago

supposed to report.. I wonder who actually does.

[–]netraven5000 0 points1 point ago

Don't they keep track of those lotto tickets?

[–]cuddlyogre 0 points1 point ago

There's no system in place to associate the purchaser with the ticket purchased as far as I know.

[–]spartacus- 0 points1 point ago

Well...if you won a multimillion dollar jackpot, the IRS would probably come after you if you didn't report it.

[–]frznlimes -5 points-4 points ago

Real Source

[–]ksa2 0 points1 point ago

and losses.

So can I make up gambling losses then?

[–]odd84 3 points4 points ago

Everything you put on a tax return has to be substantiated. An auditor can ask for receipts or other proof of anything you write. If you can't substantiate the losses, the auditor will revise your return to reflect the new taxes owed, plus interest due to the late payment, plus penalties if he/she feels you falsified the numbers on purpose instead of accidentally. An audit can be contested, but if you made the losses up, you'll lose the contest too. If the amount is substantial, you can be imprisoned as well. Gambling losses can't exceed winnings either; you don't get paid by the government a reward for losing.

TL;DR: No.

[–]hoikarnage 1 point2 points ago

There are people who collect losing tickets so they can write them off. I used to work at a gas station and there was a guy who went through our trash to collect the tickets for that very reason on an almost daily basis.

[–]ksa2 0 points1 point ago

Genius. Loopholes here I come!

[–]xUnderoath 0 points1 point ago

This will only work, however, if you itemize your deductions and it all adds to an amount bigger than your standard deduction. For single people I think that would be around $5,950 for this upcoming year, plus your $3,800 exemption..

So.. good luck with that :\

Source: I work at a tax office.

[–]IronMikeT 0 points1 point ago

you cannot claim more losses than wins according to U.S. tax law (source: I am an accountant)

[–]beagleears 0 points1 point ago

You get taxed if you come out ahead in year, but do not get to deduct extra if your losses are more than your winnings. So over the course of multiple years you can end up paying taxes even if you break even or lose money on gambling in the long haul.

This is not so much a big deal with the lottery (because no one is playing it professionally). But with professional poker players who can win big some years and actually lose in other years, they'll end up being taxed more for their average earnings than they would in another high-variance field where you could deduct losses.

So the tax code isn't that crazy, but it is a little slanted against gambling (probably because it's an easy target for "moral" reasons).

*ninja edit: added a word

[–]coastalbrad 0 points1 point ago

This is everywhere except the USA, most places there is no tax on gambling winnings.

[–]Stonewall-Simpson -4 points-3 points ago

So does my $500 scratch off count? Fuck you, prove it!

Not an EDIT: I never sent it. I'm so fucking stoned that my stupid is showing.

[–]Museguitar1 5 points6 points ago

I won 5 grand on a $5 scratch off a few months ago. Ill be getting a form at the beginning of next year so they can tax it. Anything under $600 ($599 and below) can be cashed in wherever you bought the ticket and you can avoid tax.

Edit: Proof http://i.imgur.com/1mKli.jpg

[–]I-fixed-nothing 6 points7 points ago

So is that five dollars taxable as income now?

FTFY

[–]AmIKrumpingNow 13 points14 points ago

I have posts to look at dangit! I don't have time for your shenanigans!

[–]This_Is_Verified 7 points8 points ago

I can verify that nothing has been fixed.

[–]seaNgull 2 points3 points ago

I'm gonna need a source on that.

[–]herrkelf 0 points1 point ago

Damn it, you got me!

[–]drplp 1 point2 points ago

Ah, you made me look, you jerk. ;)

[–]Aozora012 1 point2 points ago

Not in Canada! HA!

[–]Bajimazabulumana 10 points11 points ago

I bought a lottery ticket for the first time in about a year today. It was a 3 dollar ticket, I won nothing. I would have $50000 dollars if I had a fucking S.

[–]MostlyPurple 5 points6 points ago

That's how they get you. I bought a couple bingo scratch-offs and they always make it so you're one number away from like 10 grand.

[–]ninklo 4 points5 points ago

How do they pull that off? Isn't it risky for them?

[–]thatdamnhansel 9 points10 points ago

Not exactly sure, but if it's anything like Mcdonald's monopoly, they make one part of the combo really hard to get. That way, everybody is off by one, but they're all off by the same one.

[–]DwightKurtShruteIII 4 points5 points ago

Everything is like McDonald's monopoly

[–]Museguitar1 5 points6 points ago

Scratch offs aren't randomly generated. They make the number of winning tickets (grand prize and large sums) and then make a bunch that specifically leave out numbers that would cause a winner.

Source: friends dad works at the state lotto

[–]Linton58 0 points1 point ago

Look like somebody's playing the crossword scratch off.

[–]Delfishie 5 points6 points ago

Anyone know which episode that gif is from?

[–]RevanFlash 3 points4 points ago

Isn't it when he found out he was out of the running for president?

[–]bawssauce 3 points4 points ago

I think it was after Obama got elected, iirc

[–]Myth51 0 points1 point ago

That sounds about right. A very suitable reaction for Mr. Colbert.

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 23 points24 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/sUO06.gif

[–]lethargicwalrus 93 points94 points ago

The lottery is a tax on dumb people.

[–]Reasonable-redditor 70 points71 points ago

However, on the other hand. I watched a documentary on lotto winners where one winner was a math professor. He said when the other people in the department found out he played a lotto they made fun of him. He called it a dream tax. If he gave 2 to 3 dollars a week to dream he didn't mind. Kind of a beautiful way to look at it. He ended up giving his money to endow a chair in his mentor's name.

[–]mmmsoap 41 points42 points ago

Exactly this.

There's nothing wrong with gambling. There's something wrong with gambling what you can't afford. The "lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math" is a line used when discussing the large number of people who spend a big chunk of their take-home pay on lotto, in the hopes of winning their retirement fund. Usually these people are low-income, but not always. when you play a lot, especially on scratch tickets, you tend to win $200-$500 often enough to feel like you're getting ahead, and lose sight of the hundreds you spend buying the tickets to get there.

But if you're playing what you can afford, if you're playing your anniversary/birthday/etc every week for the fun of it, what's the harm? A low probability of winning is not the same thing as a zero probability of winning.

[–]gemini86 16 points17 points ago

Not only that, but the tax goes to pretty good stuff, like wildlife protection, schools, local business, etc. I spend about 5 bucks a month on lotto. I rarely win anything, but I don't expect to... of course I'm still always planning out my first huge purchase with all that cold hard cash at my disposal.

[–]mmmsoap 9 points10 points ago

I enjoy it when someone else buys me a scratch ticket as a gift, and occasionally I'll buy myself one. I get well more than the $5 worth of enjoyment dreaming up what I'd do if I were to win. I get much more enjoyment out of the ticket(s) that someone else gave me than I would have from the cash instead. It's just as much escapism as reading a great book or going to an epic movie.

[–]Nodonn226 4 points5 points ago

I always think of it like this. If I don't play I have 0 chance of winning. If I buy 1 ticket I still have a chance. And I can spare $1

[–]coastalbrad 0 points1 point ago

This is utility of money at work. Your math is correct.

For most functions the minimum investment is also the most profitable one when the vigorish is 50%.

[–]mudmaster 0 points1 point ago

He ended up giving his money to endow a chair in his mentor's name.

Would it be fair to say that the chair was well endowed?

[–]jonscotch 1 point2 points ago

Thats how I feel about the lottery. Sometimes when I am at the store I fork over $5 for a ticket, sometimes I win, most of the time I lost but its fun none the less. My biggest win was $50 on a $5 ticket, I am quite the high roller.

[–]egrodo 0 points1 point ago

What was the name of the documentary?

[–]--Repetitive-- 0 points1 point ago

Gosh you're so reasonable.

[–]coastalbrad 0 points1 point ago

The "Dream Tax" is also a utility of money function, and $1 at the big one actually is positive expectation if you take utility of money into account.

Sometimes playing the lotto is even profitable in rare cases where the total pool exceeds the odds. The same goes for scratchers, it has a 50% rake, but you can find out if the top prizes have been won usually online. If the top prizes have not been won and there are only a few tickets left you are making a winning bet, but this one is usually a big guess.

[–]vivvav 0 points1 point ago

You are remarkably reasonable.

[–]Bajimazabulumana 11 points12 points ago

So brave.

[–]TylerHenry 13 points14 points ago

I've read you're more likely to die on your way to buy the ticket than actually win the grand prize... I find it hilarious people are even allowed to run lotteries and casino's. The worst is going to Casino Rama and watching old people fork up their pensions at the slot machines like zombies. They're just preying on the weak willed and elderly.

[–]bpwnz 26 points27 points ago

you can't outlaw stupid.

[–]lethargicwalrus 2 points3 points ago

Eliminate all of the warnings on things, and natural selection would sort everything out.

[–]bpwnz 5 points6 points ago

i'm fine with there being warnings. the odds need to be stated in a clear and straightforward manner, then let the consumer make their decision.

[–]TylerHenry 2 points3 points ago

No, but there's something to be said about it being legal to charge people money for a chance to win money. Also, they make it so only certain groups can run these operations. Not everyone can run a lottery, but those who can will never stop making money.

It's a moral issue.

[–]bpwnz 14 points15 points ago

my morals allow for others to make mistakes that only harm themselves, regardless of who profits.

[–]TylerHenry -2 points-1 points ago

Even if they're senile?

I don't know. There are so many laws in place to help protect stupid I find it amusing we're allowed to have Casinos.

I feel the same way about seat belt laws and the fact that people can ride motorcycles. (Not knocking motorcycles)

[–]lethargicwalrus 3 points4 points ago

There are many states where there are no casinos except for native american reservations.

[–]bpwnz 2 points3 points ago

many laws are written to serve political or personal interests, not for the general good.

case in point, due to powerful lobbying I live in a state where you can be pulled over for not wearing your seat belt (it can be the only offense needed to warrant a stop), but motorcyclists and their passengers are not required to wear helmets. Figure that one out.

[–]turtlesareawesome111 0 points1 point ago

hey man, us motorcyclists are the safest drivers on the road. its the other 99% that make it dangerous to us.

[–]TylerHenry 3 points4 points ago

I wasn't knocking motorcyclists, I was pointing out the irony that I can be ticketed in my car for not wearing a seat belt while people can ride on two wheels without them.

[–]kDycu 0 points1 point ago

My thinking on this is that it'd probably be worse to be strapped to your motorcycle while it's tumbling down the road. Or something.

[–]witthefuck 1 point2 points ago

As a child, I can't remember a single seat belt on the school bus aside from the driver's. That, to me, is scary.

[–]Squishpoke 5 points6 points ago

I live in America, and by God I will gamble my money away if I want to, damn it!

[–]TylerHenry 1 point2 points ago

My point is you can't start your own lottery, you can only get fucked by the people already running them. Illegal for some, legal for those with money. That's not freedom.

[–]coastalbrad 0 points1 point ago

Just not on the internet, because you no longer have that right after the UIGEA.

Fact: Americans can pay nearly 100x more in fees to bet sports at a casino. 11/10 versus a penny spread on betting exchange.

I would suggest anywhere else to lose your money but America, because if you are lucky enough to win, they take out taxes too. No gambling taxes in Canada or Mexico.

[–]nazihatinchimp 0 points1 point ago

What I you get entertainment from it?

[–]Shalmander 0 points1 point ago

They can't. If they did, 99.99% of the workforce would disappear overnight.

[–]TheYugoslav 0 points1 point ago

Slot machines yes, but black jack and others you can if you have skill.

[–]McWut 1 point2 points ago

The only way to get an edge in black jack against the house is to count the cards but nowadays casinos have measures that make it pretty much impossible.

Poker is a better example.

[–]catchthewheel 1 point2 points ago

The house advantage in blackjack is 1%, if you're playing with a decent strategy. Last time I was in Vegas, there were about 20 hands an hour. At $10 a hand, if you have $200, you can play for an hour, get two free drinks, and (on average) have $198 left afterwards. I'd happily pay $2 for an hour of entertainment and two drinks.

[–]Shalmander 0 points1 point ago

Rules vary big time between casinos which can increase that past 1%.

[–]MrJAPoe 0 points1 point ago

When I was a little kid I lived in Las Vegas. I always saw little old ladies at the quarter slot machines when I walked in Walmarts and other stores like that, and a lot of them would still be there when I left

[–]KittyCanScratch 0 points1 point ago

My grandparents are extremely lucky. They won $10k at a casino one time and when they buy scratch offs, they get the $100 every now and then.

And I don't buy the lottery tickets to win the grand prize, just to win the small prizes which I usually end up earning more than I spent.

[–]McWut 1 point2 points ago

And I don't buy the lottery tickets to win the grand prize, just to win the small prizes which I usually end up earning more than I spent.

On the long run the odds will bite you in the ass.

[–]ProN00b 1 point2 points ago

Casinos aren't quite as bad depending on the game. Black Jack and Poker come to mind. And at least some of the others you can actually have fun playing even when losing money. Try having fun losing a lottery ticket.

[–]McWut 1 point2 points ago

At roulette there's a way to win 25$ 31 times out of 32 and lose 775$ 1 time out of 32, breaking even in the long run (25*31 = 775$)

You bet 25$ on red. If you lose, you bet 50$ on red. If you lose, you bet 100$ on red. If you lose again you bet 200$, and if you lose a 4th time you bet 400$ again on red. If you lose 5 times in a row, you will have lost 775$. The odds of that happening are 1 in 32. But if you win a single time, you win 25$. The odds of that happening are 31 in 32.

So if you're looking for a quick 25$... And don't mind losing 775$, then head to the roulette

[–]ProN00b -1 points0 points ago

Except that strategy fails because after getting a black, the odds of getting a red next time do not increase. Getting 5 blacks in a row isn't nearly as rare as you'd think.

[–]bab270 2 points3 points ago

It is literally just as rare as he said it would be in his post.......

[–]ProN00b -1 points0 points ago

The overall odds are, but on an individual level on a wheel that has hundreds of spins a day it is not particularly rare to get five reds in a row. This is why casinos love this kind of gambling. Because the gambler is risking hundreds if not thousands of dollars to get a small profit.

[–]bab270 1 point2 points ago

The only explanation for this argument is that I'm getting trolled.

[–]ProN00b -1 points0 points ago

Or that you are confusing single event odds with multiple event odds. When you actually get one black, your odds of getting another one are 50/50 (okay lower than that because of 0 and 00), and the one after that is still 50/50.

It's like rolling 6 dice once compared to one die 6 times to get a six each time. The overall odds appear the same, but if you roll one six, those odds increase each time you get the six.

[–]McWut 1 point2 points ago

The odds of 5 blacks in a row are exactly 1 in 32 as I have said. And your point is? I don't think you understood what I explained.

[–]ProN00b 0 points1 point ago

The odds change as you get a black. If you get one black, the odds of another are still 50/50. The wheel does not care what was last.

[–]Kilkun 0 points1 point ago

Natural selection has to squeeze it's way into society SOMEHOW.

[–]vivvav 0 points1 point ago

Well the thing about being old is that you can kind of just piss your money away if you want. Can't take it with you and all that.
I mean, at the end of the day, you're not really required to leave anything to your family, are you? Especially if you don't like your family.

[–]TheyCallMeStone 2 points3 points ago

But... but you can use that $5 you won to buy another $5 lottery ticket!

[–]Level60_Levio 0 points1 point ago

This is what people say when they're sore from losing every time.

[–]Braude 1 point2 points ago

You're just saying that to get people to stop buying lottery tickets and increase your own chances.

I'm on to you...

[–]freakflagflies 0 points1 point ago

And Casinos? Super dumb people? I guess maybe if you're really skilled at poker or you know how to count cards like Rain Man.

[–]Toxyoi 1 point2 points ago

As I've said before, shut the fuck up. I am GOING to WIN!

[–]nazihatinchimp 0 points1 point ago

I play the scratch off every now and then. Probably spent about 60 in my lifetime. Won about 250 total. Just lucky I guess.

[–]Hoooooooar 1 point2 points ago

Since profits go to pay for lottery workers salaries and the rest go to schools in VA, its more like donating to charity with a side of winning millions.

I am half glass full kinda guy

[–]iTimmeh 0 points1 point ago

Except for us, the ones that win and never go under. I'm up $245 counting all the money I ever put on tickets and won back. The lottery isn't a tax on dumb people. Dumb people are a tax on dumb people.

[–]SarcasticOptimist 0 points1 point ago

If only they used this website first before they realize they're only paying for the fantasy of being rich.

[–]Johnny_Crab 0 points1 point ago

In fairness, the money raised from the lottery (at least here in the UK) goes to a lot of awesome causes.

[–]HarietTubmanWasWhite 13 points14 points ago

I hate these metaphor gifs. All I can think about it OP seeing a gif and coming up with a bunch of different ways it can apply to life, usually in a cliche.

[–]erryday_IAm_rustling 4 points5 points ago

It's called gifspam.

MFW I see gifspam in r/funny and think of laughing noobs who upvoted it.

[–]lethargicwalrus -3 points-2 points ago

Gif comments are a cancer that need to be eliminated from reddit.

[–]wet_blanket0614 29 points30 points ago

I agree

[–]This_Is_Verified 6 points7 points ago

I can verify you are being ironic.

[–]Poo_Brain_Horse 3 points4 points ago

Yes. Because we need more facebook posts.

[–]MediaMoguls 3 points4 points ago

Anyone have the source video of this Colbert clip?

[–]Felord 0 points1 point ago

Well look at this way, on a 5 dollar ticket you're actually more likely to win 10 dollars than 5 so in a way you beat the odds.

[–]Warlaw 0 points1 point ago

I remember reading something similar to this in another lottery thread.

[–]thekillersnail 2 points3 points ago

honestly one dollar tickets are better. when you win a dollar, just exchange it for a dollar, and buy yo self anotha ticket. win another dollar, shit goes round and round.

[–]vinfx 2 points3 points ago

$5 win on a $5 ticket is called a push, not a win.

The genius of the lottery system is they managed to convince everyone a push is a win.

[–]Bel0wAverageJoe 4 points5 points ago

I love Stephen Colbert

[–]lukasj3 1 point2 points ago

first world problems

[–]Gruffnut 1 point2 points ago

Sweet, just enough to buy another $5 lottery ticket!

[–]yokiedinosaur 1 point2 points ago

Let it roll, baby, let it roll!

[–]wiwawa 0 points1 point ago

Like having the reset button pressed on your wallet.

[–]dirice87 0 points1 point ago

You got a free adrenaline rush and entertainment

[–]sputter 0 points1 point ago

I've spent 3 dollars those scratch cards. I won 25 :D

[–]linkintiara 0 points1 point ago

Was hoping he would pop the balloon

[–]Aquarius128 0 points1 point ago

I hate when you win a dollar ticket, it's like fuck. Better than nothin'

[–]AnarchoPanda 0 points1 point ago

He should have popped the balloon.

[–]murjax 0 points1 point ago

Yeah that pretty much sums up lotto. The most you ever do is break even.

[–]Museguitar1 0 points1 point ago

I'm up roughly $5400 in the last year. There are some tricks to it but most is just dumb luck.

[–]Randomacts 0 points1 point ago

AMA

[–]Museguitar1 0 points1 point ago

I posted to another comment with some info on the ticket/taxes where I won $5,000 on a $5 scratch off

I typically win my money back every time I play and occasionally get lucky and win more. I play about $20 4 times a week and win around $80-$140 on average off of that each week.

[–]Titties 0 points1 point ago

Sounds like my life.

[–]mrxscarface 0 points1 point ago

What are you talking about? Breaking even on the lottery is a win my friend.

[–]Poodle0011 0 points1 point ago

I love this guy

[–]iTimmeh -1 points0 points ago

I won $200 from $1. Whaddup?

[–]LlamaInATux 0 points1 point ago

I once got 50 poweball tickets for my birthday.

Grand prize: $0.

[–]Karl_Marx_ 0 points1 point ago

Reddit has been losing such much credibility. It may sound cliche for one to complain about one's reddit history to be better than the present. However, this just isn't that funny. Front page worthy? Forget about it.

[–]mudmaster 0 points1 point ago

I used to work at a gas station and sell a lot of lotto tickets, even if you spend $5 on tickets and only win $2 somehow you are still a winner. Most people aren't even content with that. They'll spend the $2 they won on more scratchers until they lose it.

[–]Hungrydog 0 points1 point ago

Feel good about this Sir and or Ma'am. That is more money than I have ever won in a lottery.

[–]De4con 0 points1 point ago

I won $4 today on a $2 scratch ticket today. Yesterday, I lost $2 on a scratch ticket. I say I had a good week, broke even like a boss.

[–]bacon_butter 0 points1 point ago

After that I'm pretty much like "that's enough thrill for today!"

Yeah I'm pretty lame...

[–]TheAtron 0 points1 point ago

I feel like I only laughed at this because I'm terribly terribly drunk....

[–]Spark0103 0 points1 point ago

Someone needs to make this into a downvote gif.

[–]foresthillian 0 points1 point ago

Lose

Often

To

Terrible

Odds

[–]akbdayruiner 0 points1 point ago

Ugh I hate that feeling of being back right where I started.

[–]ritonda66 0 points1 point ago

something similar happend to me too.. some years ago..

[–]ImbeinThatGuy -1 points0 points ago

Five dollars AND lots of balloons? I need what you're getting!

[–]The_Evil_Potatoe 0 points1 point ago

Five dollars can buy a Pack of balloons too! We all win!

[–]Urban_Savage 0 points1 point ago

Getting your money back is more than you deserve for spending five dollars on 1 scratch off ticket.

[–]SirCleve 7 points8 points ago

Yeah, the $20 scratch-off tickets is where it's at.

[–]Saijar -1 points0 points ago

Better than being out $5.

[–]CA719 0 points1 point ago

Me

[–]ProfessorMcHugeBalls -2 points-1 points ago

"Breaking even: we still get your money after you lose the second time."

[–]GlacierGultch -1 points0 points ago

I don't know about you, but when I win anything on lotto tickets I keep playing till I loose everything I won

[–]MisterKream -2 points-1 points ago

buying lottery tickets lel

[–]Smugjester -3 points-2 points ago

That...thats not $5....THATS $500

[–]killer4u77 0 points1 point ago

One can only dream

[–]dont_worry_im_here -4 points-3 points ago

haha, I laughed really hard at this... well played, sir! Have a north plebiscite...

[–]overused-meme-alert 3 points4 points ago

well played, sir

beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

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