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all 32 comments

[–]amasterplan 28 points29 points ago

I'm pretty sure you meant mother nature. Mother earth makes you sound like you named yourself wallflower and your boyfriend is a dirty hipster that calls a computer a "magic box".

[–]Versaton 8 points9 points ago

Her name is underthestars...

[–]underthestars[S] 8 points9 points ago

Computer? We call it "happiness portal."

[–]sarahjewel 5 points6 points ago

My last one was 13 days late. I was 1day away from meltdown mode.

[–]underthestars[S] 8 points9 points ago

Facebook was killing me with all their ads: "Unwanted pregnancy? Call today!"

[–]sarahjewel 2 points3 points ago

Ewwwww. I had my neighbor making tons of baby jokes at me. Ha

[–]tadowguy 3 points4 points ago

Adblock.

[–]Queen_George 0 points1 point ago

Sounds exactly like my week!

[–]Aenyx 0 points1 point ago

That happen to me last month. After spending money on 3 pregnancy tests that were negative, I then bled on and off for 2 weeks. Then it was time for my next period, which showed up right on time. My uterus is a jerk.

[–]peetee32 1 point2 points ago

i think your ovaries are to blame, but im sure you're right.

[–]spiral527 0 points1 point ago

You know what's funny. I learned in health class that it is normal to miss your period for 6 FUCKING MONTHS and not be preggers.

[–]underthestars[S] 2 points3 points ago

Fuck. That. Shit.

[–]lifeismybitch -1 points0 points ago

Generally only at the very start of your periods, like age 12ish. If it happens after that, you should really see a doctor about possible ovarian cysts/endometriosis etc. THAT shit ain't funny.

[–]spiral527 1 point2 points ago

I would thank you for the advice..........but I am male...................

[–]lifeismybitch 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for the advice then bro, I'm sure your health class is more qualified than my entire university course.

The advice was general advice, not specific - if someone's period just randomly stops for six months, at age 20, and they're not pregnant... There is something very wrong. Another reason for stopping suddenly is extreme stress or extreme or sudden weight loss/weight gain. Hormonal imbalances, having your tubes tied and excessive exercise can also cause this.

Some women are lucky enough (or unlucky, if they want to conceive) that their period is normally like that, but the pattern establishes itself early on, and doesn't come on you all of a sudden to trick you into thinking you're pregnant, there is always a cause.

I don't think your health class was very accurate in this matter.

[–]garvgarv11 0 points1 point ago

ಠ_ಠ my...god...

[–]HisQueenBee2608 0 points1 point ago

I had the same problem 6 months ago, then I finally got it a week ago...

[–]zobbas 0 points1 point ago

my ex girlfriend used to have weird periods that would last for a month and not come for a month, tell me about this shit

[–]startrekdentist 0 points1 point ago

How'd peeing on a piece of plastic go? + or - deliver op!!!!! Wait.... Forget that last statement XD

[–]Drwhoovez 0 points1 point ago

Have any of you seen his standup? That shit is funny.

[–]needsahammer 0 points1 point ago

Delirious is one of my all time favorite stand up routines.

"You don't have no ice cream cause you can't afford it cause your mom is on the weeeelfare. And your dad's an alcoholic..."

Terrible. But hilarious.

[–]emesbe 1 point2 points ago

I am currently 29 days late. :( No me gusta.

[–]underthestars[S] 0 points1 point ago

You got this. -internet hug-

[–]SpidersKidsmoke 1 point2 points ago

The special this is from (Delirious) and Eddie Murphy's other big one (Raw) are among the funniest stand-up I've ever seen. Nothing comes close

[–]DosZaquis 0 points1 point ago

Mother Nature?

[–]theonechewbaca 1 point2 points ago

anal couples = happy couples

[–]EpikBlair 1 point2 points ago

My step mother is convinced I'm pregnant..spent the entire day crying because I'm pretty sure she's right. I will falcon punch Mother Nature in her ovaries.

[–]underthestars[S] 0 points1 point ago

I'll help. Fuck dis worrisome shit.

[–]pcj 0 points1 point ago

Link to GIF that says it isn't funny... in /r/funny

[–]underthestars[S] 2 points3 points ago

This is reddit, right?

[–]ImAzura 0 points1 point ago

Some people are really anal about things.

[–]mitcharoni 0 points1 point ago

Funny you mention that....back door, no baby.