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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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all 96 comments

[–]EngineeringShit 71 points72 points ago

Ha, I knew Putin couldn't top Biden eating ice cream. Man eats ice cream like it's his job.

[–]ickystumps 25 points26 points ago

Not only eating ice cream, double fisting those cones.

[–]Beezle 8 points9 points ago

Fuck you Michelle, Imma eat all the ice cream! -Joe Biden.

[–]DebacleRoberts 0 points1 point ago

Fuck citations, I heard that shit.

[–]simbiz 19 points20 points ago

Someone please tell me the paul ryan picture is photoshopped

[–]jack12354 20 points21 points ago

It looks like he's in one of those crappy movies they make you watch in middle school about not doing drugs.

Hey kids, I'm here today to talk to you guys are a real serious issue. Sometimes people don't like to talk about it, but alcoholism is a real big problem. Have a TOTALLY RAD day, and don't shred too hard!

I think I just turned spontaneously 90's.

[–]vyllex 43 points44 points ago

I have this thing where I become embarrassed for others. Often in watching films, I have to turn away or suppress the urge to squirm around. Example being I cannot watch Adam Sandlers newest stuff, not that it's worth it, and Will Ferrell films also make me feel terrible.

That Paul Ryan picture made me want to sit in a school bathroom eating my lunch while contemplating suicide.

[–]IMAROBOTLOL 4 points5 points ago

/r/cringe is calling for you.

[–]adalonus 2 points3 points ago

Don't do it man. Who will empathize with me when I get the same feeling?

[–]twincakesable 1 point2 points ago

I'll feel awkwardly bad for him with you, if that helps. Or will that double the pain of sympathetic embarrassment...?

[–]qpqpdbdbqpqp 0 points1 point ago

I'm like that, and then some. I get absolutely furious when people do embarrassingly dumb things.

[–]wra1th42 18 points19 points ago

no, he really is that much of a tool

[–]Terbana 1 point2 points ago

Romney is a slam dunk!

[–]BertrandLoganberry 0 points1 point ago

I cracked up when I got to that one.

[–]ipossessfetishes 0 points1 point ago

Nope, they were shots from his Time magazine photo shoot for Person of the Year.

[–]stopmotionporn 0 points1 point ago

No, but the Romney one is.

[–]averagemonkey 88 points89 points ago

Don't worry, the first one is fake.

[–]Atsir 53 points54 points ago

You ruined Romney's mom jeans for me man. Ruined.

[–]willscy -3 points-2 points ago

you thought that was real? the colors are totally off.

[–]callmeRichard 20 points21 points ago

I wrote 90% of the code for Photoshop. This picture is the fake. Romney is 100% legit in that photo.

[–]themonkeygrinder 22 points23 points ago

As the guy who wrote the other 10 percent, I can confirm this.

[–]homergonerson 13 points14 points ago

As the guy who copied and pasted the the two portions together, this is all true.

[–]Kristsilvershade 2 points3 points ago

How and why is there somthing missing in both pics? There's a beer bottle by the girls elbow that disapears from Romney's pic, and there's a box by the stereo in romney's pic that's missing from the girls.

Also in romney's pic is text over the gold fireplace's platting. I'm obviously ignoring the obvious picture-swap of Romney's family. EDIT: Oh, and Romney's face is on the cabinet on the right.

[–]CDNeon 6 points7 points ago

The beer: (ignoring the fact that Romney is Mormon and does not drink beer) it needed to be removed, as only the visible portion of the bottle in the female picture would have been seen in Romney's version. Essentially, a floating beer bottle neck. This is fixed with a simple clone stamp (you can "sample" an area in a photo and then stamp that area onto another area. As the pattern in the wallpaper is very simple and repetitive, this is very simple). The clone stamp also took out the woman's arm, which, if left in the Romney photo, would have been growing out of Romney's back.

The box. Probably a joke of some kind on the photoshopper's part, but I can't zoom in enough to see it. Same with the Romney face on the cabinet. Possibly an homage to "OBEY?" Same with the text in gold. As far as I can decipher, it says "Who let the dogs out," based on the length of the message and the placement of the letters that can be seen.

You'll also notice that the sorority photo was replaced with a family photo of Romney in Romney's picture.

All these things are very basic uses of Photoshop to even a beginner with just a little experience.

[–]cuprous_veins 3 points4 points ago

The box is this image, which confirms your "Who let the dogs out" theory.

High five

[–]CDNeon 1 point2 points ago

Oh, I do enjoy being validated. Thank you.

Also, you brought me back to the image - the lyric is also superimposed on the door in the family portrait.

[–]MONDARIZ 0 points1 point ago

Bet he is actually wearing tie and jeans.

[–]fomorian 0 points1 point ago

How do we know that one's not the fake?

[–]gloomdoom -3 points-2 points ago

I was wondering why he looked kind of like a centaur in that one.

No matter...the Ryan photos are enough to remind me how much I hated frat guys during the college years.

"Hey, bro...there's this new band called Nine Inch Nails, we're going to put the Downward Spiral on tonight in the basement and slam dance for an hour while doing keg stands if you want to drop by."

[–]arcsine 44 points45 points ago

[–]averageatsoccer 30 points31 points ago

And then he proceeded to fuck her while maintaining eye contact with both those biker dudes. At the same time.

[–]annoyinglyclever 8 points9 points ago

Those dudes look soooo uncomfortable, especially the one behind Biden.

[–]averageatsoccer 1 point2 points ago

That's because of an over-the-pants handy

[–]Tripfriend 3 points4 points ago

[–]gabe_ 1 point2 points ago

What the who?

[–]CheeseAttack 9 points10 points ago

That's the vice-president Joe Biden whispering sweet nothings to a biker chick.

[–]Blazeinpain 2 points3 points ago

Hot damn, no homo

[–]CheeseAttack 1 point2 points ago

well, just a little

[–]awox 0 points1 point ago

those guys aren't as hard as you think they are

[–]phaeton_didnt_quit 12 points13 points ago

biden looks like he's having the most fun. because ice cream.

[–]bmw1393 22 points23 points ago

LT. DAN ICE CREAM!

[–]foucaults_uvula 82 points83 points ago

You should know that Vladimir Putin deliberately stages these sorts of photo opps to appear strong and virile. They're "Hollywood" photos of him, nothing more. He's probably not any more manly than Mitt Romney in mom-jeans.

[–]Did_it_in_Flint 56 points57 points ago

He was a KGB agent. I don't think Mitt has anything on his manliness resume to beat that.

[–]callmeRichard 20 points21 points ago

I wonder how many people Putin has killed directly? I'm sure he literally got some blood on his hands on his way up.

[–]phreshphillets 8 points9 points ago

Probably a lot less than the amount of lifes Romney destroyed at Bain.

[–]SHORTNAMEISNOWLONGGG -3 points-2 points ago

"Lives".

[–]gloomdoom 8 points9 points ago

Propaganda in the former Soviet Union?

NYET!

[–]alarindris 18 points19 points ago

Yeah but the American photos were all staged too. Still says something about who wants what. Russians want a bad ass, Americans want some sort of sterile pussy. At least I think that's the point being made.

[–]Blazeinpain 1 point2 points ago

"haha Obama riding a bicycle!"

"...is that a crossbow?"

[–]Oddgenetix 1 point2 points ago

But he takes the time out of his busy schedule of fucking up a giant country to appear this badass for the internet.

That's what's important here.

[–]cheeseisthereason 14 points15 points ago

I could have lived my whole life without seeing Mitt Romney's mom jeans.

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 11 points12 points ago

I feel I've been Putin my place.

[–]ethics 5 points6 points ago

As someone who grew up in FSU, guys, cut the shit with trying to make this dickwad anything more than a little tyrant that has a Napoleon complex?

Check out his record on human rights, then we can head to corruption, forcing hands, jailing competition with fluffed up charges, etc...

He is not a man, but a piece of trash that has been staging photos not unlike Dear Leader before he bit the dust. I'll take US leaders with bumps and warts and all of that over this кусок гавна.

[–]Jcbpnl 0 points1 point ago

Google Translate says: кусок гавна --> "piece of shit"

Alright!

[–]Phiasmir 4 points5 points ago

Haha, yeah, I'll bet none of those guys have even rigged an election to maintain control over a superpower and its population, or arrested activist groups to suppress freedom of speech! Haha, Putin's such a harmless scamp, probably. What a real man!

ಠ_ಠ

[–]liescontrolus 4 points5 points ago

I must say that I would prefer a leader that does not try to portray himself as powerful and strong. A leader that does this could be one of many things and almost none of those are good, in my opinion.

Though Putin is an exception.

Please don't kill me Russia.

[–]Blaculahunter 1 point2 points ago

Why the fuck am I supposed to be impressed by Paul Ryan going to the fucking gym? A lot of people do. If he had some bulk I might be impressed by the time he puts into it.

[–]killedtheoldme -1 points0 points ago

putins a douchebag.

[–]ThisIsFischer -1 points0 points ago

I think it's funny that they photoshopped human legs and the horses head in the photo.

[–]Slinkyfest2005 0 points1 point ago

Well admittedly Putin has put a great deal of effort to show himself as the pinnacle of masculinity. An idol to look up to and a man to admire. Pretty sure Romney and Obama just don't give a fuck.

[–]KarlyPilkoids 1 point2 points ago

When people don't like Putin, he puts them in prison. When people don't like Obama, he kills Osama Bin Laden.

[–]otiswrath 0 points1 point ago

What the fuck does Putin do other than travel Russia looking for cool shit to do. See it's true, look how much more time politicians have when the don't have to worry about re-election.

[–]Coolbreezy -1 points0 points ago

WTF is with Romney and that outfit? Those look like women's jeans.

[–]dugout 0 points1 point ago

Damnit! What happened to us?

[–]twincakesable -1 points0 points ago

I don't know why, but that picture of Obama on a bike is just freaking adorable. Maybe I just like the camaraderie of also riding bikes, just like the President.

[–]Reshimon 0 points1 point ago

Actually in europe, Putin is concidered kind of silly.

[–]PaulMcGannsShoes -1 points0 points ago

Fuck you, I goddamn love ice cream.

[–]nancylikestoreddit 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me or does it look like Putin's horse is wearing a wig?

[–]beanso 0 points1 point ago

To be fair, the Paul Ryan one was just to make him more "personable", it wasn't an attempt at manly-ness.

[–]EatThyStool 0 points1 point ago

Threw my arms up so fast after the last picture. May have lost weight.

[–]elligre 0 points1 point ago

Ever heard of Teddy Roosevelt? Hell, even the Bush family are big game hunters.

[–]Persica -1 points0 points ago

Yes, who needs empathy, understanding and wisdom in a leader when you can have a stages superficial macho asshole.

[–]WhiskeyAbuse 1 point2 points ago

when i saw those paul ryan glamour shots, i knew this country was fucking doomed

[–]Larius 1 point2 points ago

KGB officer > lazy politician that avoided military duty

[–]Flapjack_ 0 points1 point ago

Carefully staged propaganda pics vs much more spur of the moment pics?

Ok

[–]justjokingnotreally 0 points1 point ago

Better bikes and ice cream than self-aggrandizing despots.

[–]gonzoforpresident 1 point2 points ago

Somehow I think at least one of Presidential candidates is doing it right.

[–]deja-vu-comment 1 point2 points ago

This looks really shopped.

.

[–]datgui -1 points0 points ago

Really, because I'm pretty sure our Military would say differently.

[–]Roosky -3 points-2 points ago

Ryan's chicken legs and backwards hat. I just...wow, this is who they want to be the second in command?

[–]Lacagada 0 points1 point ago

It's like Idiocracy.

[–]laikasghost -1 points0 points ago

LOL ISN'T AMERICA STIPID?

[–]ne1av1cr -3 points-2 points ago

Look, that's just not fair. He's freaking Putin. You can't expect anyone to live up to that standard.

[–]idlefritz -5 points-4 points ago

Hunter S. Thompson blasted his consciousness into Putin with his magic pistol and a half pound of mescaline.

[–]black_house 0 points1 point ago

adrenochrome

[–]icannotfly 0 points1 point ago

Beautiful fucking tits, man!