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top 200 commentsshow all 274

[–]GreyCastle 934 points935 points ago

Alzheimer's has never been so adorable.

[–]lethargicwalrus 253 points254 points ago

It's so cute that it burned a hole into my brain.

[–]GreyCastle 172 points173 points ago

Sorry about your Grandpa. (I saw your deleted comment)

My great aunt had it. She accused me of stealing her watch. I said I hadn't stolen it. She said a nigger must have done it. I didn't like her much, but then she got Alzheimer's and nicer.

[–]lethargicwalrus 95 points96 points ago

Yeah, I realized that /r/funny wasn't the appropriate place to post such a sad story. Sorry about your great-aunt. I appreciate the sympathy.

[–]danrennt98 40 points41 points ago

It's okay, we're all cool here. Sorry again.

[–]GreyCastle 19 points20 points ago

I'm American, I just happen to piss Redditors off a lot, so I need to say sorry to make up for it.

[–]Real-Life-Reddit 7 points8 points ago

Now there are five people in this conversation. YEEEEEY!

[–]ThisFreaknGuy 6 points7 points ago

[–]kstar223 10 points11 points ago

My grandma has gotten much nicer with it too! She still always manages to pull out the snarky comments for my mom, though.

[–]LlongSchllong 14 points15 points ago

That how she's fucked half of Xbox players?

[–]Hippopoptimus_Prime 2 points3 points ago

Haha yea! Doesn't alzheimer's just bring out the best in people?? Haha... ha... ha... yea.

[–]kstar223 2 points3 points ago

No, I wasn't saying that. It's tragic and I was sharing my perspective of how it altered my grandmother's personality.

[–]carolinax 4 points5 points ago

:(

[–]sheepinblack 5 points6 points ago

That's for being a nice human.

[–]beta_recognize 19 points20 points ago

Sorry about your genital warts (i saw your deleted comment)

[–]GreyCastle 13 points14 points ago

Shoot! I thought no one saw.

[–]ExplosionTaco 13 points14 points ago

Welcome to reddit,

where 357 millaseconds matters.

[–]nerfherder998 10 points11 points ago

Welcome to reddit,

where we'll be all over you for misspelling milliseconds.

[–]GroovenileDelinquent 2 points3 points ago

A MILLA A MILLA A MILLA A MILLA A MILL A MILL

[–]JashHavilla 1 point2 points ago

That was probably the drugs

[–]Real-Life-Reddit -1 points0 points ago

HEHEHEHE....hehe....he. Oh mittens, where did the time go.

[–]DancesWithDaleks 26 points27 points ago

My grandpa did this with a T-shirt for my grandmother. She's got really advanced Alzheimer's, the T-shirt had them together on the front and said something like "I'm with John S. in the matching T-shirt."

It made me sad, but at least she got to see Disneyland.

[–]squigglebee 14 points15 points ago

All these Alzheimer's comments are really making me miss my mom :( she's had Alzheimer's since I was 11 and doesn't remember me. R/funny why did you make me sad?!

[–]humanmichael 5 points6 points ago

internet hug

[–]Mega_Man_Swagga 39 points40 points ago

I find this much more sad than funny.

[–]Mrs_Mojo_Rising 16 points17 points ago

in my mind, they are just a cute old couple.

[–]SirAuron 13 points14 points ago

I did not find it funny, but this should be in r/aww because that was my reaction. Enough animals. We need old people in r/aww.

[–]squigglebee 1 point2 points ago

Old people are the most adorable things ever. As a person who never had grandparents, I just want to hug all the sweet elderly people I see and make them happy!

[–]david-saint-hubbins 2 points3 points ago

You never had grandparents? Were your parents artificially created in a laboratory somewhere?

[–]squigglebee 0 points1 point ago

Oh hush. I meant they all died before I was born so I never got that cookie-baking grandma everyone else had. I love old people.

[–]theycallmelogiebear 22 points23 points ago

I feel like these shirts would really be useful in these situations but most people would just think its some sort of joke.

[–]SirAuron 6 points7 points ago

Not at that age I think.

[–]sorude 0 points1 point ago

When I first saw it I immediately thought, they're in Vegas and being silly! Then I started reading comments. Waaaaaaaah

[–]red321red321 21 points22 points ago

[–]DancesWithDaleks 12 points13 points ago

If you're a bird, I'm a bird!

[–]sorude 1 point2 points ago

All references to this movie make me think of what a cheating whore that woman was. And 2 guys STILL wanted to marry her. Only slightly bitter this morning.

[–]UhWellThatsNotGood 5 points6 points ago

Naw man, they have just reached such a high level of gangsta we can't even understand?

[–]Nice_Try_Man 15 points16 points ago

I know, right. Alzheimer's has never been so adorable.

[–]GreyCastle 14 points15 points ago

Have you seen my grandson Billy? I have this bolo tie for him.

[–]guerillatwang 24 points25 points ago

Billy?

Yea Grandpa?

I don't know where you got that bolo tie but it's fucking gay as fuck.

Ok grandpa.

[–]lethargicwalrus 8 points9 points ago

Stan's a dick.

[–]livefreeordont 1 point2 points ago

if stan is a dick then what is cartman?

[–]lethargicwalrus 5 points6 points ago

A cheesy poof.

[–]ONXwat 0 points1 point ago

I love cheesy poofs, you love cheesy poofs, if we didnt love cheesy poofs we'd be lame.

[–]TheOven 2 points3 points ago

I need something like this now

When one of us forgets our cell phone

I might never make it out of target alive

[–]BeatsbyChrisBrown 1 point2 points ago

Haha...wait, why am I laughing again?

[–]KUZCGG 1 point2 points ago

It is really sad.

[–]SOMETHING_POTATO 0 points1 point ago

Maybe it's alcoholism.

[–]humanmichael 1 point2 points ago

/r/funny just made a heterosexual man want to watch the notebook alone. i dont know where i am

[–]lewisjason 1 point2 points ago

At least they remember wearing their shirts.

[–]paintedice -1 points0 points ago

[–]lupe2012 0 points1 point ago

What?

[–]johnnythebear 28 points29 points ago

Carnival Cruise Ship. I never forget pizza buffets.

[–]Toshiro_Mifune 1 point2 points ago

So bomb.

I'm a teetotaler now; I'm gonna run train on my next Carnival Cruise.

[–]festering 53 points54 points ago

Why doesn't Hawaiian shirt guy just go on the other side of Rita instead of reaching across like a dingus?

[–]Bitter_Idealist 24 points25 points ago

Because buffets bring out the worst in people.

[–]Skimmerlit 7 points8 points ago

They help us all see our weaknesses and connect, realizing that we're all human. Buffets are a place to bond and relieve stress. There is no greater comradery than the kind that comes from you and that other guy, staring at each other, stuffing yourselves, and watching the weaker crumble and fall around you, "getting full".

[–]Bitter_Idealist 2 points3 points ago

Seriously, dude. Just throw the food on your plate, in order and get the hell out of my way. I'm hungry.

[–]DarkSim_ 1 point2 points ago

I feel like the word you were going for was "camaraderie"

[–]Left_hand_shake 39 points40 points ago

Probably because he's a dingus

[–]lily1346 3 points4 points ago

Pretty sure all usages of the word "dingus" are funny. I've yet to hear it in a context that didn't make me lol.

[–]ratking11 3 points4 points ago

Way to bust that guy!

Your shitty manners have been posted to the Internet. A copy has been forwarded to your mom.*

*or placed on her grave.

[–]anarchyz 1 point2 points ago

hah, he said dingus

[–]Digberto 0 points1 point ago

Perhaps the line is in fact going the other way and he is pulling off a crucial last second snag of a delicious food he either missed or couldn't fully commit to grabbing already.

[–]Panaka 57 points58 points ago

I wonder if she is still a meter maid?

[–]AlbertsShuffle 23 points24 points ago

nothing can come between us

[–]lethargicwalrus 9 points10 points ago

Life until death.

[–]sidobagga 4 points5 points ago

I don't know, she doesn't look very much like a military man.

[–]IsAnyoneHungry 1 point2 points ago

Wait, who are you?

[–]pizzatime 6 points7 points ago

Polyethylene Pam, I think.

[–]IsAnyoneHungry 6 points7 points ago

No no no, you're Michelle. My walrus.

[–]srs_house 4 points5 points ago

No, Michelle is my belle. My walrus is John.

[–]DeHussey 1 point2 points ago

iiiiiiii bbbbuuuuurrrrrrrrriiiiiiieeeeeddd pppaaaaaaauuuuuuullllllllll

[–]IsAnyoneHungry 0 points1 point ago

False. The walrus is Paul.

[–]zedgrrrl 0 points1 point ago

Meter Maid only got one mention? Oh Dear!

[–]Platinum_Mattress 9 points10 points ago

This happens all the time at casinos. Mostly it's a joke because the person supposedly missing just lost tons of money and needs to find the other person. But if it has anything to do with alzheimer's, that would definitely wipe the smile from my face.

[–]Massive_Genius 45 points46 points ago

YES, THIS IS RITA.

[–]Cygnus_X1 13 points14 points ago

NO THIS IS DOG.

[–]anonymoustroll 0 points1 point ago

...AND RITA

[–]TheSquisis 1 point2 points ago

NO, THIS IS PATRICK!

[–]Timbo2702 2 points3 points ago

NO, THIS IS HER HUSBAND PATRICK

[–]ainesey 72 points73 points ago

aww, too cute :3

[–]lethargicwalrus 18 points19 points ago

This isn't r/aww.

[–]iDiedYesterday 44 points45 points ago

[–]Hellrazor236 60 points61 points ago

Wait, where?

[–]iDiedYesterday 34 points35 points ago

What... What was I talking about?

[–]Hellrazor236 30 points31 points ago

Who are you?

[–]NickDerpkins 25 points26 points ago

Yes

[–]dru1138 16 points17 points ago

oh... OK. Have you seen my wife? ...Her name's Rita.

[–]NickDerpkins 13 points14 points ago

Spaghetti

[–]patio87 13 points14 points ago

It's all fun and games until you... lose... uh....

[–]DeHussey 0 points1 point ago

Is this the bus to madison avenue? I'm gonna be on television!

[–]Mrs_Mojo_Rising 6 points7 points ago

this sets a record for most times in one post the same joke has been used in the same post giving it a record for most repeatedly used joke in one post.

[–]free_dead_puppy 3 points4 points ago

Wait..what did you say about a joke?

[–]joshman196 2 points3 points ago

Wat.

[–]Octoboxes 10 points11 points ago

[–]Dammit_Rab 2 points3 points ago

[–]Cuntosaurus 1 point2 points ago

I'm sorry I couldn't attend the Reddit meet up for the funeral.

[–]lovelyandi -1 points0 points ago

awwzheimers FTFY

[–]ghostbackwards 3 points4 points ago

Toast and bagels? TOAST AND FUCKING BAGELS? FUCK YES.

[–]Geowgie 3 points4 points ago

I need something like this for when I go to the pub with one of my friends, he has a habit of wandering off when drunk.

[–]lethargicwalrus 13 points14 points ago

And ... someone already reposted it.

[–]theycallmelogiebear 13 points14 points ago

Haha he already deleted his account

[–]RochelleH 4 points5 points ago

Or he forgot.

[–]Mrs_Mojo_Rising 0 points1 point ago

or he didn't remember his other accounts password

[–]SirAuron 4 points5 points ago

He probably had alzheimer's and forgot that it was already posted.

[–]Inspector-potatoface 3 points4 points ago

or maybe he saw the same exact picture on tumblr and decided it was funny and posted it without realizing it had been posted. Not everyone is a repost devil out for karma and some people don't check reddit enough to see every single post ever created.

[–]Rhody401 7 points8 points ago

A bunch of fat old white American people lined up for a buffet... while some skinny guy most likely from Yugoslavia, wearing a suit vest, happily looks on. This is definitely a cruise ship.

[–]xlaxplaya 2 points3 points ago

I think the country of origin of employees varies by company/ship. The last cruise I went on had mostly Filipino employees.

[–]linds360 0 points1 point ago

That or Vegas.

[–]Chickennoodlers 5 points6 points ago

I won't ever lie to Reddit. My grandfathers name is Omar, and he has dementia. My grandmothers name is Rita, she is an awesome woman. I will now be sending this link to their home in the Midwest, via dial up connection they will view this picture and i hope to god it becomes a reality in my life.

[–]DeepRoot 2 points3 points ago

You could pro'ly make them both of the shirts by the time they see the pic on dial-up. :-D

[–]Morfene 5 points6 points ago

Am I the only on around here with family members who would do this as a joke?

I really am pretty sure that this has nothing to do with Alzheimers.

[–]BeezAweez 2 points3 points ago

What if Rita gets lost?? No one will be able to return her :(

[–]notAtomicBaum 4 points5 points ago

Her shirt is the old lady equivalent of a dog collar with no home address.

[–]adamh909 0 points1 point ago

i think its called old timers

[–]offensivegrandma 2 points3 points ago

I wanna be this old and this cute!

[–]feedingmydreams 0 points1 point ago

Alzheimer's or he's been pussy whipped his entire life.

[–]fua_neng 1 point2 points ago

Man, do I need these for tailgate this weekend.

[–]Milkslinger 0 points1 point ago

Jitterbug!

[–]Kblack57 0 points1 point ago

Haha it's like a carrot on a stick

[–]OlivierLapi 1 point2 points ago

I love old people!

[–]RochelleH 1 point2 points ago

Not sure if funny, or sad.

[–]CountChugula 0 points1 point ago

Why is the butler with the knives from "Hudson Hawk" staring at them?

[–]YouArentReasonable 0 points1 point ago

I thought this was going to be a picture of Martha Raddatz and Joe Biden.

[–]The3rdhorsemen 0 points1 point ago

I hope someone isn't wearing one of those shirts... then things are going to be awkward.

[–]TX_ambrosia 1 point2 points ago

This is sad...

[–]councilmen 0 points1 point ago

My chuckle was quickly quashed by thanatophobic-yeah I looked it up-dread.

[–]trekbette 1 point2 points ago

How funny would it be if they did not know each other?

[–]Strange1130 1 point2 points ago

This takes couples matching outfits to the next level.

[–]anonymoustroll 1 point2 points ago

What happens when they both get Alzheimer's?

[–]dragec7 0 points1 point ago

Bacon is good for the soul

[–]garychencool 0 points1 point ago

The guy in the middle just adds to the contrast of the photo.

[–]thorlichman 1 point2 points ago

Lovely Rita

[–]J_Jammer 1 point2 points ago

Where was the person that was wearing the shirt that said, "I'm the real Rita."?

[–]toomanytries 0 points1 point ago

repost so i hate you. feel bad about this. karma isnt cool. you know what's cool? 1 billion $

[–]ATBvids 0 points1 point ago

Does /r/funny just steal its frontpage from yesterday's tumblr memes now?

[–]toost1cky 0 points1 point ago

Dat guy to the right of Rita reaching across trying to steal some bagels

[–]Icouldshitallday 0 points1 point ago

Was convinced this was some sort of Hurricane Rita joke until I read her shirt.

[–]HumbleCuntDestroyer 0 points1 point ago

Country Kitchen Buffett is the source of their power.

[–]tehWKD 0 points1 point ago

im suprised there isn't a /r/awwlzheimers

[–]ScanExam 0 points1 point ago

Alzheimer's not even once

[–]ArcticSpaceman 0 points1 point ago

Old man, did you kill Rita?

[–]HongManChoi 1 point2 points ago

Overly Attached Wife of 50 Years.

[–]jca2u 0 points1 point ago

Is that the buffet at the Luxor?

[–]webdevbrian 0 points1 point ago

looks like a cruise ship, but who knows!

[–]BigFishMcNish 0 points1 point ago

That's really cute.

[–]melimarin20 0 points1 point ago

awwww so sweet.

[–]ZacAttack17 0 points1 point ago

Allsimers.

[–]shivvvers 2 points3 points ago

i need a set of these for my parents. they aren't elderly or anything... dad just wanders off.... all the time.

[–]ILoveJenn 0 points1 point ago

Could there be a more structured system?

[–]eyereport 0 points1 point ago

TOAST & BAGELS

[–]Lilyo 0 points1 point ago

Lovely Rita?

[–]asianpokemon 0 points1 point ago

Is this a cruise ship?

[–]akshayxyz 0 points1 point ago

no one remembers photographer?

[–]Urbo 0 points1 point ago

Vegas?

[–]ratking11 0 points1 point ago

Buddy system always works.

Unless each are befallen by trouble. Then you sell the movie rights.

[–]call_me_toilet 0 points1 point ago

Definitely just thought it meant Rhode Island Transit Authority

[–]evilpoptart 0 points1 point ago

For a moment I saw "If found return to Iran."

[–]demione 1 point2 points ago

I AM ERROR

[–]KingBowzer 0 points1 point ago

[–]mangletron 1 point2 points ago

That's fucking emasculating

[–]pl__s_bl_d_n__b_l_t_ 1 point2 points ago

OAG: the golden years.

[–]tailbonebruiser707 1 point2 points ago

i dont wanna know what happens if rita gets lost.

[–]ermagerdermah 0 points1 point ago

Was this taken at the Chicago aquarium?

[–]skudrafan1 0 points1 point ago

No.

[–]kaiese 0 points1 point ago

vegas

[–]Becca_smashley 0 points1 point ago

Brilliant!

[–]mskionin -1 points0 points ago

This post bored me.

[–]sk3lt3r 2 points3 points ago

Good

[–]undrgrnd7 0 points1 point ago

That's fantastic!

[–]slic__krick91 0 points1 point ago

This would be a good idea for kids and their parents and for other couples. Sometimes you dont care if so and so wanders off and leaves with you 15 minutes of free time to yours truly the most brilliant person in the world that you can actually take a breath and get high or an erection. And for buffets too because I for one can attest at buffets sometimes it gets crowded and dangerous, especially when it has the fudge mountain.

[–]darthbone 0 points1 point ago

For some reason, I still find Slender and Slender Man entirely un-scary.

[–]DaddyLongCock 0 points1 point ago

I was expecting so many more torches and angry mobs of people crying repost .. Not even 2 weeks or something like that when I realized I may have moved up a level in reddit

[–]Edg-R 0 points1 point ago

Cruise ship?

[–]w00terlol 0 points1 point ago

It reminds me of the CelebrityXCruises buffet.

[–]daboss144 1 point2 points ago

Thats the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It's probably something they do to show each other their love through comedy. They probably dont even realize how much they love eachother. So wonderful is this life we have.

[–]punkhobo 1 point2 points ago

My Grandpa had a shirt like that before he died. I'm glad someone else got to have grandparents like mine

[–]ekolis 0 points1 point ago

I should get a shirt that says "I AM ERROR"... and then if I ever have a kid, get him a shirt that says "Take this note to Error"!

[–]jaysemer 0 points1 point ago

Hope thats not just a coincidence

[–]p3ngwin 1 point2 points ago

just to make it a balanced and complete loop:

be cool if it said :

His back "i'm John, if lost please return to Rita"

Her back it said "i'm Rita, if lost please return to John"

...

(Or names on fronts, and "if lost..." on back :)

[–]No-one-cares 0 points1 point ago

That's fuck-in TEAM work!

[–]savageyouth 1 point2 points ago

Man, I love love. The stuff we do for each other is just amazing.

[–]AnnoyingFacebooker 0 points1 point ago

omg tis couple r so cuuuute! <3 lik dis in 5 second if it mek u cry evertim also!!! :')))

[–]kpanzer 0 points1 point ago

Time has not been kind to Lord Zed and Rita but they're still together.

[–]trevor_from_the_bank 0 points1 point ago

Some where, a shirt reads "If lost, return to motherfucker."

[–]itz 0 points1 point ago

Reddit can be so mean with the Alzheimer's jokes sometimes :(

I've been taking care of my mother who has Alzheimer's since I was 21. It was the worst day of my life when she went missing one day three years ago. It's pretty scary taking her out in public. I literally do not let go of her hand. You need to do whatever it takes to keep them safe, even make t-shirts like these. It's just sad that such a desperate act caused by a devastating disease comes off as funny if you do not understand the situation.

[–]SilentLettersSuck 0 points1 point ago

That vest is horrible.

[–]TokyoXtreme 0 points1 point ago

I wonder if he's ever going to grow into that enormous T-shirt.

[–]x0em 0 points1 point ago

I'm about to bum y'all out but there was a news story in Canada about a couple who went on a trip in Nevada in March and got lost. The man went for help and never made it back to her. The woman (named Rita) was found 49 days later. They just found her husband, 7 months later, dead, sitting under a tree peacefully. True story.

[–]ecudorian 0 points1 point ago

I find this to be incredibly entertaining on account my father is blind and always getting lost, and my mother's name is Rita. I sent this to him and he really enjoyed it!

[–]rossiFan 0 points1 point ago

This whole "I'm an idiot husband who can't wipe my ass or feed myself" thing has got to stop. I see it all the time in commercials.

[–]readonlyuser 0 points1 point ago

Now they need a system to track down his dignity.

[–]rahrahrita 0 points1 point ago

i think he belongs to me.