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top 200 commentsshow all 309

[–]chuck_ 168 points169 points ago

Did someone order a crappy face swap?

[–]Judging_Ewe 52 points53 points ago

[–]threecolorless 18 points19 points ago

I always tell myself I'm not going to laugh, but the thing just holds my gaze for so long I can't help it.

[–]BeeAmoreDarling 4 points5 points ago

I did not even realize it looked at you until I read this and went back for a second look.

[–]Zeheve 9 points10 points ago

I was eating when I clicked that. I could not resume chewing until it did.

[–]chuck_ 3 points4 points ago

Sorry, english it's not my native language. Fixed, thanks.

[–]RexArcana 346 points347 points ago

I was going to make the typical reddit comment sexualizing this underage girl, but instead I'll take the high road and just say, "Ugh. Look at those roots. I declare that dye job unfabulous."

[–]TheSigma3[S] 69 points70 points ago

She's 21

[–]Hudek 15 points16 points ago

RELEASE THE FLOOD GATES.

[–]gigashadowwolf -2 points-1 points ago

Her name wouldn't happen to begin with an M would it? I think I know her.

[–]TheSigma3[S] 8 points9 points ago

Nope, close though

[–]mypantsareonmyhead 13 points14 points ago

L?

N!

No?

Give us a clue!

[–]silverladder 3 points4 points ago

This is kind of how those TV "psychics" do it.

[–]me_and_batman 3 points4 points ago

There's this thing called a PM...

[–]gigashadowwolf 12 points13 points ago

Post Meridiem? Prime Minister?

[–]noPENGSinALASKA 12 points13 points ago

Premature Masturbation

[–]KizzyKid 8 points9 points ago

Pre-Menstruation? Political Mongolian?

[–]SyKoHPaTh 4 points5 points ago

Purple Monkey? I bet it's Purple Monkey. It has to be Purple Monkey.

[–]KizzyKid 5 points6 points ago

Prized Monastery. Primal Monk? Pingu Moochacha!

[–]FluffehTheSheep -1 points0 points ago

PMD

[–]jkazz 6 points7 points ago

Purple Monkey Dishwasher?

[–]MrIslander 1 point2 points ago

Pentagramal Monotheism.

[–]bang_Noir 173 points174 points ago

I think she's cute. Not cute like "Unh, I wanna fuck her face off." But like "C'mere and let me hold your hand for a bit."

[–]TenaciousBe 276 points277 points ago

I would hold her hand so hard.

[–]Poseidon-SS 106 points107 points ago

But seriously though, hand holding is some of the most under rated shit in the world.

[–]backdora_da_explora 30 points31 points ago

Don't forget to wear a glove.

[–]friday6700 36 points37 points ago

No glove, no love.

[–]dontkicksandinmyface 2 points3 points ago

Please believe me!

[–]SelectaRx 4 points5 points ago

Can I borrow a feeling?

[–]avengepluto -5 points-4 points ago

Ew, that's like taking a shower while wearing a raincoat.

[–]FluffehTheSheep 7 points8 points ago

The water could be full of aids, gotta stay protected bro.

[–]TenaciousBe 2 points3 points ago

Sigh. True dat, homey.

[–]bryntheskits 0 points1 point ago

Actually. Was remembering back to last weekend when I was just drunkenly holding hands with a chick while walking through a park, then I thought what the hell man, that must of felt great why can't you remember your feels at that mome- ohhh, alcohol.

Fucking alcohol, then again it is the thing that gave me the courage to hold her hand in the first place.

[–]jpark343 7 points8 points ago

You're making me moist.

[–]KdF-wagen 4 points5 points ago

tired, just got done a 14 hr night shift, spit beer out my nose, thank you for that you made the end to a shitty night, good

[–]TenaciousBe 0 points1 point ago

Bahaha! Happy to be of service :) And as a 12-hour overnight shifter, I can relate!

[–]leftsideofthelane 7 points8 points ago

Yeah, she's got that something.

[–]pokelord13 8 points9 points ago

Oh, I'll tell you something

[–]leftsideofthelane 6 points7 points ago

I don't think I'll understand.

[–]Taterhater540 4 points5 points ago

When I say this something..

[–]LaserZeppelin 1 point2 points ago

SHE WAS A DAAYYY TRIPPER!!

[–]backdora_da_explora -1 points0 points ago

One way ticket, YEA!

[–]Nine_Tails 5 points6 points ago

I AM THE WALRUS

[–]12thMANGOHAWKS 2 points3 points ago

YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING ELEMENT DONNIE!

[–]McShizzL 22 points23 points ago

I'd fuck the shit out of her face

[–]i_am_omega 13 points14 points ago

I'd fuck the face out of her shit

[–]backdora_da_explora 10 points11 points ago

I'd shit the fuck out of her face.

[–]oblong127 0 points1 point ago

i'd face the shit out of her fuck.

[–]LJIGaming 3 points4 points ago

Mmm yeah. Yeah! HOLD that hand! HOLD IT REAL HARD!

[–]theginger707 5 points6 points ago

i think she looks like a bitch, and the appropriate spray can is being used

[–]Midicide 1 point2 points ago

reminds me of the makemebad video

[–]Dignified -2 points-1 points ago

Look at her expression. He needs to buy two cans.

[–]helljumper_117 -3 points-2 points ago

id fuck the shit out of her

[–]kidbuu42 7 points8 points ago

and i could make the typical redditor comment of correct you that she is actually 21 and it's your loss, but if you don't feel comfortable with this woman because she looks a bit young for you, that is also perfectly acceptable!

[–]RexArcana 3 points4 points ago

And I would counter that her youthful appearance and myriad bracelets would follow fashion trends usually reserved for the under-20 crowd, but then we'd probably just end up as a string of comments hidden because we only have our one upvote each, as we constantly went back and forth trying to outdo each other in a passive aggressive manner that would allow us to feel as though we won the argument when all that really happened was a simple misunderstanding of sarcasm.

[–]Akintudne 5 points6 points ago

I'd still read it.

[–]WhiskeyTangoF 7 points8 points ago

She doesn't look underage at all.

[–]Kadmium 2 points3 points ago

I actually really like dark roots with blonde hair. I can't stand light roots with dark hair, though.

[–]10b-5 3 points4 points ago

She's not underage.

[–]Disco_Bloodbath 1 point2 points ago

Girl gotta go get her roots did. Fo sho.

[–]Warpedme 0 points1 point ago

Yeash, if she looks underage to you, I'd really hate to see what the over 30 crowd looks like in your area.

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 25 points26 points ago

Here it is

From what I can gather, it's used to cover up canine pheromones?

No reviews yet. Somebody buy this and let me know.

[–]Spr09 60 points61 points ago

Didn't work, my wife is still a bitch and can seduce me.

[–]MR_WITTY_RESPONSE 24 points25 points ago

I can confirm, I'm his wife

[–]KingTroll69 14 points15 points ago

But... You're name says "Mr"... I don't understand...

Edit: Not as funny in text as in my head.

[–]MR_WITTY_RESPONSE 31 points32 points ago

OH SO NOW YOU CAN'T BE A MAN AND A WIFE?! WHAT HAS THIS COUNTRY COME TO?!

[–]LeCrushinator 44 points45 points ago

Certainly moody like a wife. Seems legit to me.

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 15 points16 points ago

She could use some bitch spray

[–]saintbuttocks 1 point2 points ago

Little Over Attached? Gotta check up on what he's replying to?

[–]cb68 2 points3 points ago

Quick! Get the Bitch Spray!

[–]hollingsworthless 1 point2 points ago

Your Edit = Story of My Life

[–]KingTroll69 0 points1 point ago

We should be friends who tell unfunny jokes to each other.

[–]Reddit_Stranger 0 points1 point ago

As someone who used to live with roughly 20 horny St. Bernards, It works. (However, the degree to which it works is mostly dependant on how far along the bitch is in her season.)

[–]Styvorama 1 point2 points ago

Got the dog smell off me, but I can still smell the peanut butter. Very accurate stuff.

[–]jakijo 0 points1 point ago

How is this posted on reddit and yet still lacks all the great product reviews indicative of amazon posts? Please rectify this, reddit. This product is asking for it.

[–]TheSigma3[S] -1 points0 points ago

Its like £5 a bottle, that's a lot if you just want to review it and don't have a dog. I'd still buy a wolf/moon tshirt

[–]bryntheskits 1 point2 points ago

THIS SHIRT CURED MY AIDS

[–]Reddit_III 50 points51 points ago

What does the actual spray do though?

[–]pseudolobster 339 points340 points ago

Sprays bitches. Try to keep up.

[–]lethargicwalrus 77 points78 points ago

Bitchus disappearus.

[–]0ab83a7b 59 points60 points ago

10 points for Bitchindor!

[–]complex_reduction 2 points3 points ago

Radical!

[–]poop22_ 13 points14 points ago

It's designed to mask the natural oestrus odours of a bitch.

[–]_Particle_Man_ -1 points0 points ago

I read that in Wilfred's voice

[–]stevencastle 10 points11 points ago

Bitches love sprays

[–]for_the_trulz 1 point2 points ago

Dat spray

[–]Eal12333 2 points3 points ago

Wait, does it spray out bitches or spray at them.

[–]NonPermissive 9 points10 points ago

Bitch Spray 150ml by Johnson's has been designed to mask the natural oestrus odours of a bitch in Season and discourage unwanted attention from dogs.

The spray contains a mixture of herbal oils and can be used with Johnson's Bitch and Deodorant Tablets to help keep dogs away..

You can google these things, y'know.

[–]seductive_monkey 18 points19 points ago

Reddit has found the fountain of youth, it gets younger every year!

[–]toclafane 108 points109 points ago

[–]solidsharkey 147 points148 points ago

Huh, it's not just a redirect to the front page.

[–]Wolfosaurus 7 points8 points ago

Welcome to Reddit.

[–]stateofmind1994 6 points7 points ago

\o/ 'standing ovation' \o/

[–]Azumikkel -1 points0 points ago

you'll fit right in

[–]jacksokbrooks 3 points4 points ago

14 here. It wasn't that great.

[–]MoogyOne 2 points3 points ago

Do you just hate fun or are you in that awkward phase when you realized what a giant douche you were when you were 14 and can't wait to turn 16 to show everyone what a grown up you are?

[–]Offensive_Username2 -1 points0 points ago

Because all the other stuff in this subreddit is so much more mature?

[–]im_zewalrus 27 points28 points ago

aaaaaaannnnnnnnnd someone isn't getting laid tonight

[–]charlie145 121 points122 points ago

It's me again isn't it? It's ALWAYS me! :(

[–]witty_account_name 6 points7 points ago

Stop complaining, Travis. We all have to take our turn being the lonely one for a bit

[–]whatthefuckguys 14 points15 points ago

His name's Charlie, man.

God, it's like you don't even know him.

[–]backdora_da_explora 8 points9 points ago

That's because when someone gets too chummy with us, we call them by the wrong name.

[–]mypantsareonmyhead 1 point2 points ago

Keep your opinions to yourself, Diego.

[–]Mr_Winston_Wolf 0 points1 point ago

I read this in the voice of Dr. Shakalu from Grandma's Boy.

[–]OcifferWiggles 6 points7 points ago

Does that bracelet of yours mean you're in Napa?

Edit: Because I see you.

[–]TheSigma3[S] 0 points1 point ago

I was in the summer, not now, just Coventry, middle england

[–]herpderptwerp 0 points1 point ago

Coventry? near the M1 side?

[–]lord_nougat 0 points1 point ago

Hey, cool. The radiator in my car was made there.

[–]givesusfree -1 points0 points ago

was gonna ask the same thing. hope it wasn't too horrible

[–]Nansai 2 points3 points ago

OP you have a cute girlfriend. Although she should touch up her roots :P

[–]azianinvazn 7 points8 points ago

She is most likely not amused.

[–]Sk0ts 0 points1 point ago

that face on the poor girl...

[–]tinfins 5 points6 points ago

Axe body spray takes the next logical leap in its marketing strategy.

[–]neurosin 4 points5 points ago

Rose Tyler is Not a Bitch! She's a nice lady.

[–]dcminor3 3 points4 points ago

Today OP did not get laid.

[–]knighmare 5 points6 points ago

By "keep em in line" I assume you mean a line of women signing a petition to keep you well away from them

[–]Invisiblelol 2 points3 points ago

Dat look.

[–]SollyBoy 5 points6 points ago

OP: "Hey c'mere, let me take a picture of you with this spray can."

SO: "What does it say?"

OP: snickers "Bitch Spray! LOL!" (I imagine OP actually saying LOL)

SO: "oh haha... no."

OP: "Awww c'mon - I'll get so much karma for this!"

SO: "Sigh... if it's for karma"

OP: takes photo

[–]TheSigma3[S] 0 points1 point ago

She doesn't know its for karma, that would be lame...

[–]boetticher 3 points4 points ago

Yes, that would be lame.

[–]alfdog5755 5 points6 points ago

op is about to hear how much reddit would bang your girlfriend

[–]Gathras 7 points8 points ago

It looks like it's already working! Though she only looks mildly irritating instead of full on bitchy. Give her another spray for best results.

[–]jansenvt 1 point2 points ago

Rinse and repeat as desired.

[–]musicxbabex44 2 points3 points ago

There is only one B word that should be used when talking to women. That's beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful.

[–]konyfan2012 5 points6 points ago

if this is how other guys regularly treat their girlfriends/wives then i think i understand why "my wife doesnt touch me" is such a staple of sitcoms and stand up comedy

[–]Glaedr304 0 points1 point ago

she is cute, if she is your girlfriend i suggest you be nicer :P

[–]Sacrosanction 22 points23 points ago

It's called being playful people.

[–]mightymdc 2 points3 points ago

This is so dumb.

[–]cpnHindsight 5 points6 points ago

You're way too mature for this subreddit.

[–]Lonely_Toast 0 points1 point ago

heh. "Dog Loo"

[–]Batticon 0 points1 point ago

She is cute.

[–]drifter_ 1 point2 points ago

I hope the karma was worth it, bro

[–]honestlyevil 0 points1 point ago

Ayia Napa!!! Most fun I've had in years...

[–]Zombiewalker94 -1 points0 points ago

Her first name meghan

[–]9ballrider 0 points1 point ago

ya... bitches love bitch spray

[–]Wingmeister 0 points1 point ago

"you're like so totally dumped already like totally"

[–]piratesbooty -1 points0 points ago

No. Just no.

[–]Cern_Stormrunner -1 points0 points ago

I need some of that

[–]EvilSteak -1 points0 points ago

[–]ZanMet -1 points0 points ago

Make sure to get it in her eyes...

Absorbs quicker that way.

[–]chris6565 -1 points0 points ago

I tried to take the same photo of my gf with the bitch spray, and she slapped me. How did you get away with it? Tell me your secrets!

[–]insidious_sedition 1 point2 points ago

haha i love the look of ...."I'm not amused... not amused at all"

[–]ShamefullyShameless -1 points0 points ago

[–]ChaplinStrait 0 points1 point ago

Hmm weird she looks like someone I know

[–]ConorPF 0 points1 point ago

Hey OP, your girlfriend single?

[–]sexmanTA -1 points0 points ago

doesn't matter, boobs. also "Johnson"

[–]The_One_ 0 points1 point ago

Its more like what keeps you in line.

The look of pure evil is in her eyes. Don't stare to deep or else.

[–]psyko_huh 0 points1 point ago

Excuse my ignorance, but what the hell is dog loo? I would assume toiletry accessory?

[–]areanynamesleft 0 points1 point ago

When I was in Ayia Napa there were kids everywhere with the " I'm in napa bitch" shirts. I was also a bit buzzed when I commented.

[–]TheHellKat 1 point2 points ago

I've seen that look before, back away slowly and don't make eye contact.

[–]pwnedlikewhoa 0 points1 point ago

Looks like you're about to get bitch slapped.

[–]RageHippo 0 points1 point ago

Bitch actually is a zoologic term for female dog.

[–]an_usual_man 0 points1 point ago

No trigger discipline.

[–]raiden55 0 points1 point ago

Her face is too much :D

[–]Dr4ven 0 points1 point ago

It's made a lot funnier that I know someone who looks exactly like her, this wouldn't have happened to have taken place in Massachusetts would it have?

[–]AlanLolspan 2 points3 points ago

Holy shit it's Rose Tyler!

[–]PeterMus -2 points-1 points ago

I usually slink away after a look like that...

[–]Elliot82 2 points3 points ago

A wild douche bag approaches! She looks unamused. Douche bag must post regardless.

[–]come_on_seth 0 points1 point ago

Seen that look before, don't tell me....oh ya; you are seconds from glazing your own knuckles tonight stupid.

[–]aryalissnin 1 point2 points ago

Did anybody else open this link in alien blue and just think it was a picture of a girl and the title just referred to a bra? Gotta scroll to the side....

[–]CVBrownie -1 points0 points ago

THESIGMA3! GET THE PEANUT BUTTER OFF YOUR BALLS!

[–]Speedy_Cisar 3 points4 points ago

I seem to have my own repellent without this spray. I must naturally produce it...

[–]NotyoWookie -1 points0 points ago

I'm fairly certain it was probably in a joking manner. You know...being playful and all instead of constantly being nice and respectful, and at points, dull. I enjoy this and their sense of humor.

[–]RonMexicosPetEmporim -2 points-1 points ago

As a bitch I can confirm that this product works as advertised.

[–]fykusfire 0 points1 point ago

Your user name is fucking awesome.

[–]ilovemykittylucy -1 points0 points ago

Dog Loo! More like Dog Poo, I can't be tricked!

[–]womens_suffrage -1 points0 points ago

For best results, apply directly to the forehead.

[–]nick041 -1 points0 points ago

She's gonna cheat on you. Not because of what you did, but because she looks like a person that cheats. That's a cheating face.

[–]Retroman360 -2 points-1 points ago

I would friend the shit out of that

[–]BeeRye93 -3 points-2 points ago

[–]evulhotdog -3 points-2 points ago

This is horribly dumb. Why it has so many views, I will never understand.

[–]witty_account_name 1 point2 points ago

you just viewed it, though

[–]comtedeRochambeau -2 points-1 points ago

I'm not sure if the spray is the way to keep her in line or if that warning look is the way to keep the smart-ass in line.

[–]DaveM1299 0 points1 point ago

I <3 Ayia too

[–]padidas -1 points0 points ago

hahaha is that a "I heart Ayia Napa" wristband?? haha

[–]Classdistraction -2 points-1 points ago

I'm going to pick up a can and bring it to work with me tomorrow. Thanks!

[–]clam_chips -1 points0 points ago

Love the late '90s look.