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top 200 commentsshow all 266

[–]WaldosBrother 408 points409 points ago

This fish seems like a gentleman and an asshole at the same time.

[–]BLT_with_extra_bacon 310 points311 points ago

He is a gentle-ass manhole

[–]HITMAN616 126 points127 points ago

Man-ass gentlehole? Sounds like my last girlfriend.

[–]FarmerTedd 67 points68 points ago

Girlfriend...?

[–]imthefooI 84 points85 points ago

He means hand

[–]FuCKiNTowel 51 points52 points ago

Hello, Palmela

[–]friday6700 48 points49 points ago

I always preferred Jill.

[–]NickDerpkins 37 points38 points ago

I'm cheating on Jill with lllL

[–]friday6700 19 points20 points ago

Sometimes... I'll get smashed, and do them both at the same time.

[–]NickDerpkins 10 points11 points ago

as long as they don't meet/clap the next day you should be good

[–]karmagod13000 5 points6 points ago

Big pimpin' up here^

[–]BR0THAKYLE 8 points9 points ago

Masterdultery?

[–]rdbd 11 points12 points ago

Handcest...

[–]wannajacket28 1 point2 points ago

Handy Dick ;)

[–]corn_n_potatoes 17 points18 points ago

Ah yes, Palemela Handerson

[–]iSWINE 0 points1 point ago

Palmela Anderslut

[–]Inpalethis21 5 points6 points ago

Handerson. Palmela Handerson.

[–]Jhas253 1 point2 points ago

Handgela

[–]jennah101 9 points10 points ago

If he's really fancy, it could have been a rubber vibrating vagina. If it was made of latex, that relationship didn't last too long for a reason...

[–]Strideo 10 points11 points ago

I was just looking at a picture of a fish! How'd I end up listening to an Australian man talk about excavating a vibrating egg out of his ass with chop sticks?

Damn it Reddit.

[–]jennah101 4 points5 points ago

You're welcome! :D

[–]alienelement 3 points4 points ago

I was hoping that's what your link was.

Look at that. I bought that cunt an hour ago, took it home and fucked it, now that cunt's broken.

[–]jennah101 4 points5 points ago

'' I fucked a rubber cunt! ... I... I fucked it! .... Wednesday's pudding day! ''

[–]BR0THAKYLE 2 points3 points ago

Go on...

[–]ssimoll 9 points10 points ago

This is what they call fresh inmates at county jail.

[–]BR0THAKYLE 1 point2 points ago

Fish.

[–]my_fucks_are_missing 7 points8 points ago

this reminds me that I used to think /r/gentlemanboners was pronounced "Gentle Man Boners"

[–]iUsedtoHadHerpes 1 point2 points ago

They're more gentle than a common erection because they're attached to a gentle man who views tasteful pornographic material.

[–]Kvetch_22 4 points5 points ago

A classhole, if you will.

[–]Reesch 8 points9 points ago

Gentlehole.

Or a man-ass.

[–]karmagod13000 -1 points0 points ago

You don't have to try an impress us. Fapping with your dog is not a gf.

[–]danyoyo 14 points15 points ago

The rocks are the assholes.. They be all up in his gills

[–]GaryDuder 3 points4 points ago

That fish will drink whiskey and smoke in your house and tell dirty jokes, but his wheezy coughing laughter endears him to you in a way that makes you overlook his shortcomings. Plus he's yellow as fuck.

[–]forever_stalone 1 point2 points ago

Frog fish sure seem very gentle.... until all your fish disappear from your tank one by one.

[–]danrennt98 1 point2 points ago

he looks pissed

[–]illaqueable 1 point2 points ago

Well, he is an ambush predator, and I think if I were to be predated upon, I would want it to be quick and painless--like a gentleman; yet, I would inevitably be miffed at being predated upon--hence, asshole.

[–]Damaband41 0 points1 point ago

He reminds me of the fat people on rascals on South Park.

[–]heyjoetodd 0 points1 point ago

He holds the door open for other fish

[–]Snappingmyfingers 0 points1 point ago

He sounds electable, he could be the first fish in office.

I'd vote for him.

[–]randomsnark 1 point2 points ago

"Classhole".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for fish

[–]ProfBatman 1 point2 points ago

I've always thought that being a gentleman and an asshole was equivalent to being a son of a bitch. These days the phrase son of a bitch is thrown around like an insult, but it is really a term of begrudging endearment. When you say that someone is a son of a bitch you're saying that the dude is so tough and badass that he's half dog.

[–]VslachaTurbo Sloth 214 points215 points ago

Fish Moses parts the land so that his followers may cross the sea.

[–]fluffkomix 56 points57 points ago

insert remark about your tag being Turbo Sloth

[–]VslachaTurbo Sloth 32 points33 points ago

insert sarcastic, vague, and/or off-topic reply

[–]FuCKiNTowel 19 points20 points ago

generic pun

[–]Like_a_Bose 10 points11 points ago

too far too soon comment

[–]aTm2012 15 points16 points ago

penis

[–]mypantsareonmyhead 4 points5 points ago

link to shitty gif meme

[–]canihaveacake 7 points8 points ago

something something something something

[–]StraY_WolF 4 points5 points ago

insert comment about meta

[–]PlinytheStoner 3 points4 points ago

I'm going to guesss this thread is about Meta Worldpeace. Would Lol again.

[–]corn_n_potatoes 9 points10 points ago

Screw you /r/atheism. My new god is Fish Moses!!

[–]Evolved_Fetus 40 points41 points ago

TURBO SLOTH!

[–]VslachaTurbo Sloth 18 points19 points ago

Hello.

[–]VslachaTurbo Sloth 5 points6 points ago

I am not sure what frightens me more... that this card exists, or that a novelty count exists that realized its relevance.

[–]itsjaximus 2 points3 points ago

can someone fill me in on what this is :p

[–]Avarra 21 points22 points ago

That is the most yellow thing I have seen today.

[–]I_like_fish_sticks 12 points13 points ago

Drink less water

[–]Banana_Party 5 points6 points ago

I am a small african child and wat is dis

[–]I_Fuck_Pigs 6 points7 points ago

I am a horrible, horrible person.

[–]DarknessFallsOverUs 32 points33 points ago

I looked at this and hoped there was a /r/fishwitharms subreddit. Was disappointed. But at least we still have /r/birdswitharms

[–]Khrrck 16 points17 points ago

aaaand someone created it already.

[–]Shardwing 7 points8 points ago

It does now.

[–]teknoire7 5 points6 points ago

you don't even understand the power you just unleashed...

[–]I_Fuck_Hamsters 2 points3 points ago

I'm waiting for /r/armswitharms.

[–]potentiallyoffensive 2 points3 points ago

SHAKESPEARE INVENTED THE TERM "ELBOW ROOM".

IF THIS SEEMS LIKE A NON SEQUITUR IT'S NOT. IF IT DOESN'T THEN IT IS.

[–]xiaorobear 41 points42 points ago

Hey, I saw this on tumblr yesterday. Normally it goes the other way around.

[–]Banana_Party 8 points9 points ago

Reddit: hates hipsters until they are one

[–]xiaorobear 9 points10 points ago

Nah, it's cool, I was a hipster before I was on Reddit.

[–]krazykane 9 points10 points ago

Yup. Saw it on facebook a couple hours ago.

[–]JevandyJohnson 23 points24 points ago

like your mom AHOOHOOHOU

but really me too I saw it

[–]shitty_vagina 1 point2 points ago

a friend sent it to me on SUNDAY. seeing it here so late is ridiculous!

[–]nh- 4 points5 points ago

Hey, I saw this comment in another thread yesterday. Normally, it goes the other way around.

[–]Bartendered 64 points65 points ago

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 15 points16 points ago

Nothing turns me on more than hoof dexterity

[–]Poncho_v 7 points8 points ago

Nice one Uncle Lettuce

[–]CoCo26 6 points7 points ago

Classic Uncle Lettuce

[–]waffle_fries 31 points32 points ago

[–]atheist_libertarian 10 points11 points ago

Looks more like he's breaking up a fight between the rocks

[–]canihaveacake 2 points3 points ago

this is getting out of hand

[–]SwitchesDF 9 points10 points ago

I believe this is a frogfish.

[–]FireRising 23 points24 points ago

They're minerals!

[–]SketchyFletching 15 points16 points ago

Jesus Christ, Marie!

[–]lasrith 2 points3 points ago

dipping sticks

[–]deluxfux 0 points1 point ago

What?

[–]Lillipout 24 points25 points ago

EXCUSE ME, I was looking at the water
http://i.imgur.com/ktxdD.jpg

[–]FeroxDeoVacuusVinco 5 points6 points ago

FABULOUS

[–]kramzag 5 points6 points ago

Looks like someone is.....too cool for school

...I'll see myself out.

[–]I_Hate_Nerds 4 points5 points ago

Does that mother fucker have FEET??

[–]-NegativeZero- 6 points7 points ago

Are these... destructible rocks?

[–]Hairo 3 points4 points ago

WHAT. THE. FUCK!?

[–]frostygurl8806 4 points5 points ago

Clearly Bubbles has places to be if he is pushing rocks aside.

[–]Shamborsky 2 points3 points ago

Looks like he's got little feet.

[–]robotbug 5 points6 points ago

You need Crabstickz to do the voice. Like this

[–]Chosenwaffle 5 points6 points ago

This motherfucker means business. You don't fuck with this hard-as-metal-tits motherfucking pussy wrangler. The color yellow is a fucking genius camouflage. All the little baby fish start to give him a hard time due to that pansy yellow color he displays, and this motherfucker be all like "Shit, man I'm a fucking rock star, motherfucker! Little Mermaid wasn't so little anymore after I was done with her!"

Are any of you even half the motherfucking pimp this fish is????!!!!

[–]simply_a_seeker 1 point2 points ago

Does his face look like a Simpsons character to anyone else?

[–]TheHaereticus 0 points1 point ago

It's a Murloc.

[–]malstank 3 points4 points ago

Cute frog fish, where did you take the picture?

[–]andrewthemexican 0 points1 point ago

Jesus Christ Marie, minerals!

[–]Grahambert 2 points3 points ago

Jesus, Marie! They're minerals!

EDIT: Did not notice u/andrewthemexican's comment

[–]overklok 1 point2 points ago

Warty Frogfish, they usually don't live long in an aquarium.

[–]arup02 0 points1 point ago

One of the few things that made me laugh today.

[–]KattOBrien 1 point2 points ago

that fish is very strong pushing those rocks aside.

[–]CommunistPenguin 1 point2 points ago

I'm walkin here!

[–]theantlers 0 points1 point ago

Moses of the ocean

[–]tiredofthehate 1 point2 points ago

Have you ever been so mad that you pulled rocks apart?

[–]jewel7878 0 points1 point ago

gentlefish

[–]fisticuffsmanship 1 point2 points ago

You're just jealous Rebecca! You know everybody wants these lumps!

[–]momwithlupus 0 points1 point ago

That is the yellowest fish I have ever seen.

[–]blavelle 0 points1 point ago

Imagine you're on your first big scuba dive, admiring the coral. Then, as if a cowboy sauntering into a saloon, this mug slides out from betwixt two rocks.

[–]imsohyper 0 points1 point ago

Seems like a canadian fish to me.

[–]i_internets_good 1 point2 points ago

Oh i think the meme possibilities are going to be good. I'm a little excited.

[–]PimpMasterFlex 0 points1 point ago

MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY

[–]AudibleChocolate 0 points1 point ago

holy shit i laughed way too hard at this

[–]muffindemon 0 points1 point ago

I found this way funnier than I should have...

[–]shellykidd 1 point2 points ago

OP, your title was perfect for this pic. I imagine this guy on his way to work.....

[–]DNAsly 0 points1 point ago

Theres nothing funny about stone fish when one lives in an area filled with stone fish

[–]toiletabortion 0 points1 point ago

and then they say there are no transitional species

[–]FunTimesInDreamland 0 points1 point ago

Just finished a round of studying, this was definitely a lovely pick me up :)

[–]tryst187 0 points1 point ago

Spongebob!? Wait or is it mrs puff?

[–]Sea_Bitch 0 points1 point ago

It looks like he's got both arms AND feet too.

[–]D4rkr4in 0 points1 point ago

What if spongebob was actually a fish.

[–]Nightwing11 0 points1 point ago

That fish is yellow, ha.

[–]hmhieshetter 0 points1 point ago

People on reddit like the most stupid shit.

You have my upvote, ma'am.

[–]WTFwafflez 0 points1 point ago

Fucking fish freak me out. I once had a dream that I was being followed by flying fish through a mall. Never been the same afterwards.

[–]nateharmon9 0 points1 point ago

Frog fish hell ya

[–]The_Xodiac 0 points1 point ago

wat

[–]you_rock_rock 0 points1 point ago

Hey man, excuse yourself. The rocks were there first!

[–]ho_ho_ho101 0 points1 point ago

i just picture a fat obnoxious actress in a scene pushing ppl aside on her to devour recently sliced cake that everyone is lined up for..

[–]Dibzz 0 points1 point ago

Nemo's bouncer. Unless you have a nice set of fins, you're not getting through.

[–]Zoe26911165 0 points1 point ago

This is how I approach getting on and off a nyc subway car in rush hour. Unless you want to continually get stuck riding the train to and from the Bronx

[–]jack2454 0 points1 point ago

"fuck out the way"

[–]Rustyfist 0 points1 point ago

I got this.

[–]TheColdBeerReport 1 point2 points ago

Really? Why is this on the front page?

[–]3stacks 0 points1 point ago

He must workout.

[–]GaryDuder -1 points0 points ago

Ah that's so fucking funny right now. I farted when I laughed. It looks like he has little feet, too. Maybe he's just trying to steady himself because he's woozy. Why are some fish so goddamn grumpy looking?

[–]vitayu 0 points1 point ago

Seems like a sheriff coming into the saloon, with gentle ass mannery?

[–]Your_ImaginaryFriend 0 points1 point ago

frog fish?

[–]tallwookie 0 points1 point ago

someone wants to chew on some coral...

[–]baileykm 0 points1 point ago

Odd. I saw this on Facebook before reddit by a few days.

[–]shooshmashta 0 points1 point ago

blue side has beer

[–]GrilledCheeser 0 points1 point ago

I wonder if Dwight knows what the scientific name for those rocks are.

[–]Yaeks 0 points1 point ago

Don't worry guys, I got this.

[–]beavisandboothead 0 points1 point ago

"Move it, bitches."

[–]CoCo26 0 points1 point ago

BITCH, IM A FISH

[–]tkookookachoo 0 points1 point ago

Jesus Christ, Marie...

[–]KidsKollectingKans 0 points1 point ago

Fuck it. Move bitch get out of the way

[–]monk648 0 points1 point ago

mmmmm looks yummy... tempuurrraaa

[–]Svesinieks 0 points1 point ago

wow, so reddit is doing reposts from 9gag now?

[–]poe_em_gee 0 points1 point ago

[–]thrillhou5e 0 points1 point ago

is that my daughter? IS THAT MY DAUGHTER!?!?!

[–]hyperorbit 0 points1 point ago

Nice gams.

[–]nintendo65 0 points1 point ago

STOP FIGHTING ROCKS, GO HOME YOU ARE DRUNK

[–]yogurt666 0 points1 point ago

DAT repost.

[–]asdasdwerq 0 points1 point ago

[–]old_mr2 0 points1 point ago

He is just holding on so that the flow doesn't move him around. A lot of fish do this.

[–]Shanhaevel 0 points1 point ago

All that came to my mind was... "Ladies, ladies..."

[–]xdarq 0 points1 point ago

For some reason I'd like to see what this looks like with Nick Cage's face on it.

[–]abom420 0 points1 point ago

Are you kidding me? Now the punchline is ONLY in the title.

[–]OcifferWiggles 1 point2 points ago

Just a fish makin' his way through the night-club. Puttin' out the vibe.

[–]cris178 0 points1 point ago

I saw this on tumblr earlier today. It's funny seeing each other mix. Just earlier I saw someone comment on tumblr "CHOO CHOO MutherFucker"

[–]stingersplash23 0 points1 point ago

I hate how this is so funny........

[–]thatwasntveryraven 0 points1 point ago

This is the one time where putting the punchline in the title was actually a good move. It was like the fucking Jeopardy! of /r/funny posts. Well done, mate. [7]

[–]herebezombies 0 points1 point ago

"I got this"

[–]bipolaropposite 0 points1 point ago

Strangely reminds me of a Simpsons character.

[–]StoryGopher 0 points1 point ago

Oh my glob you guys, that fish is so lumpy. Its Lumpy Sea Princess.

[–]prepareyourdidlyhole 0 points1 point ago

Wait. is this happening? i saw this on facebook like 2 days ago. could it be? reddit just pulled a 9gag :O

[–]DeLzN 0 points1 point ago

I totally read that as the comic book store owner from The Simpsons.. oh what was his name..

[–]FATBURGERS 0 points1 point ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ITS A FUCKING FISH! UPVOTES TO THE LEFT (UPPER LEFT)

[–]AdorablyDead 0 points1 point ago

It finally happened...I finally saw something on Facebook first.

[–]Fuckin_Hipster 0 points1 point ago

That looks just like Homer Simpson.

[–]afrankiewicz12 0 points1 point ago

Pretty frogfish

[–]straighten 0 points1 point ago

Who doesn't love when something they neglected to comment on when it was in New with 0 comments makes it to #1. Bah! I suck at reddit.

[–]Juhhjuhhjason 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone read that with an accent?

[–]Foley1 0 points1 point ago

stand back, I got this.

[–]DTmothafucka 0 points1 point ago

If I push against these rocks for a while and swim forward my fins will float!

[–]Dcarnys 0 points1 point ago

Jesus fish, minerals.

[–]CantHugEveryCat 0 points1 point ago

That fish has arms! Checkmate creationists!

[–]Galothus 0 points1 point ago

Assasins Creed style .

[–]jtjrr56 0 points1 point ago

In the left corner....

[–]dahmer_chameleon 0 points1 point ago

That fish looks like Rip Torn.

[–]nano240 0 points1 point ago

Thru*

[–]Stratocaster89 0 points1 point ago

Looks like he's breaking up a rock fight

[–]MagnusTheGreat 0 points1 point ago

Oh my god! It's Sesom, the opposite of Moses!

[–]TheHellKat 0 points1 point ago

Oh my god, that is one ugly fish.

[–]gravitary 0 points1 point ago

i came here to fuck bitches

[–]campushippo 0 points1 point ago

I read that in Lumpy Princess' voice.

[–]Hefeweize 0 points1 point ago

Pardon me mr lemon

[–]xtreme33 0 points1 point ago

Frog fish

[–]sailingonward 0 points1 point ago