Well, I don't know your story. And I've been engaged for 6 months and with the girl for a year and a half, so I'm not single or dumped recently.

But, two years ago, my whole world imploded.

See, through all of high school and the start of college, I had dated this girl (another story, for another time) and we had broken up in the very beginning of 2010. So, for the spring I was pretty much broken hearted, not knowing what to do. Come summer, I moved back in with my parents until school started back up, and during that time I met one of my younger brothers friends (he had just graduated high school that spring) and we started up an extremely passionate relationship. She was coming out of a BAD situation (her ex was a habitual cheater, had a kid and lied and abused her all the time) so when I came along and offered a patient, kind hearted attitude, with generosity and compassion, she just fell CRAZY for me.

Fast forward to the fall, and we both went to college. Her in Illinois, where my parents lived, albeit about two hours from their town. Me, back in Oklahoma where I had lived for 18 years of my life. I was head over heels for this girl, but I told her that she wasn't allowed to say she loved me. I had insisted this from the start; that the word was foolish for any young relationship and that upon the utterance, she must understand the consequences of such a statement. Well, we started having issues after a week or two of being apart. Things that had never come up while we were able to see each other on the daily, living less than a couple miles apart for an entire summer, right by the lake (where my dad has a boat) and close to the club scene of St Louis (where we frequented hookah bars and dance clubs). As these issues began to escalate, I flew back to visit her at her school for a weekend (straining my already tight budget) and worked these issues out. Well, unfortunately, this only delayed our arguments and quarrels, as within a week and a half we were back at it again, with her becoming more and more distant. She would talk about her friend Danny, (with whom she had a physical relationship over a year prior to mine and her involvement) and how he was a "blast" to hang out with again.

I, of course, was not happy with such a friendship. Maybe I was being obsessive, for such a young relationship (only being a few months in), but with this being only my second real involvement with someone, and being so deep into it already, and emotionally invested, I didn't see so at the time.

So I protested, to which she retreated further from me emotionally and conversationally. This was the first girl with whom I had ever had a real conversation with since my longest lasting relationship, yet, she was moving more and more distant. In my desperation, I pleaded for options, whether phone calls or skype webcam chats every night. She only offered meager interest, waning more and more.

Fortunately, however, as the middle of September came, one of her friends went to visit her, and through conversation my girl decided that she really did want to try and make it work between me and her. (This was 4 weeks after we had gone to college and 2 weeks after I flew up to visit her) So, at the end of a long, earnest discussion on skype, my girl, in the sleepiest, most quiet moment, right as she was about to pass out, said to me these words:

"I have to go. I love you." Player 2 has disconnected

BOOM. Headshot. Heartshot? Let's talk about killing someone tenderly. This was a heat seeking missile straight into the guts of my core and being. I told her. I TOLD her, not to say that. I was angry, I was happy, I was sad and and ecstatic. Did she mean it? Only time could tell.

But, at least for the next couple of weeks, I had her back. We had conversations, we talked late into the night like we had for the whole summer, about life and knowledge and everything else we could think of.

At least, until I got a text from her roommate, which said:

"Lol, awkward! i jus walk in on ur grl w/jared lol."

Now, previous to our relationship, Jared was a guy who she had met at a hookah bar, and had talked to extensively through text message. The thing was, Jared lived in Milwaukee, which is a good 8-10 hour drive from where her college was. Which meant, something wasn't right. So, I tried to get more information, but my girls roommate didn't want to say anymore.

I had exhausted my emotional energy already. I had exhausted my monetary funds flying up to visit for a weekend at the start of September (it was now Sunday, October 3rd in the mid-afternoon) but I couldn't just stop and give up, without knowing. Oh, did I mention that this whole time I was fighting mononucleosis with severe complications in my liver and spleen? Yeah, that was also pretty tiring. But you know, kind of trivial compared to the emotional drain this girl was starting to put on me.

I packed up my backpack and a duffle bag, and asked one of my friends to drop me off at the truck stop on the main interstate. I asked a couple truckers where they were headed, once I found one that was headed in the right direction, I hitched a ride and then hopped rides all evening and night from Oklahoma City to St Louis. Once I got to St Louis, I walked a few miles to where my brother was living and borrowed one of his cars (he had a spare truck that he let me use. I had previously wrecked my own car MANY months back, before any of this was happening and since I was in school and living AT school, I had no need for a car myself)

I drove to her school, and when I got to her room she wasn't there, but her roommate let me in and I passed out on her bed (after 18 hours of hitchhiking, you'd be pretty tired too)

She had left her bag for class in her room, so I figured she'd come back to get it so she could go to class. But, as 10pm rolled around (her first class of the day) she wasn't there. Neither at 12pm or 1pm, so I texted her and she let me know where she was. (Hanging out with a "friend" named zach)

Well, I asked her best friend (who lived down the street from me while I had been staying at my parents over the summer) and she told me where this "Zach" fellow lived. I headed over there, and lo and behold, there was my girl playing "hide the sausage" with this short, nerdy, Tarzan looking fellow with bum knees.

Turns out, she'd been sleeping with Danny, and had slept with Jared several times over the weekend, and this Zach guy was her "latest" fling. All starting within the past week and a half to my discovery.

How do you deal with something like that? Such a betrayal, to be in such a blossoming relationship, even one with problems and issues, like all relationships, where a party informs you of her love to you, after your own insistence that such claims were dangerous. Seriously, maddening, deafening silence ensued. Mind fucked. I was in shock. And for the weeks after, I couldn't sleep more than 30 minutes at a time without waking screaming. She'd triggered deep depression that I had combated and conquered when I was only 15 years old (genetic predisposition is a BITCH). I had been medicated, and in therapy for around six months (never institutionalized, I still could at least pretend I was a productive member of society during this time) and eventually decided that I was going to stop being such a little bitch about things and man up(at the age of 15)

Euphoria to desolation. Fortunately I never did anything drastic.

But she fucked me man.