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Matt's Therapy (i.minus.com)

submitted ago by whatthesamm

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[–]AWildSketchAppeared 411 points412 points ago

http://imageshack.us/a/img706/8362/img386t.jpg

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 29 points30 points ago

You mattress to me, memory foam.. ;_;

[–]itsmoist 112 points113 points ago

This is why I love you more than SWC. I love him too, but you're not scared to get a little dark. He's a little too PG for me.

[–]Sir_Jeremiah[!] 71 points72 points ago

You obviously have not seen enough SWC.

[–]itsmoist 26 points27 points ago

Oh, I have. And yes, he's recently been getting dark, but it's more depressing than humorous.

[–]Sir_Jeremiah[!] 21 points22 points ago

I thought depressing = dark.

Edit: nevermind, you meant dark humor, not dark in general.

[–]hopsonpop 12 points13 points ago

my dad killed himself and i found him face down on his half-written note... nothing is darker than suicide.. nothing about suicide is ever funny to me.

EDIT: sorry for the splash of cold water, not trying to bum everyone out, just thought these "dark vs depressing" comments were fucked in the head.

[–]TurningIntoaDrumSet 20 points21 points ago

sorry you had to go through that.

[–]itsmoist 33 points34 points ago

Well... That was out of nowhere

[–]iamaorangeama 6 points7 points ago

Relevant username? :(

[–]hopsonpop 2 points3 points ago

see THIS is funny... and dark.

[–]EnigmasRevenge 3 points4 points ago

Damn

[–]AriBBCP 0 points1 point ago

different people react to relatives dying in different ways.

[–]The_Last_Melon14 0 points1 point ago

Bummer.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Is it necessary to compare?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]bootnish 5 points6 points ago

Technically it was a drawing, not a comment. So there ya go.

[–]teasnorter -1 points0 points ago

No, it's a novelty account in action.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]JesseReddit100 20 points21 points ago

^ spam, do not click

[–]Clairenoel 4 points5 points ago

Dammit. Too bad I read comments in chronological order, thanks anyway

[–]JohnDoeNuts 55 points56 points ago

http://i.minus.com/iY9H1SnHWIiko.gif

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 18 points19 points ago

God, no...

[–]JohnDoeNuts 50 points51 points ago

Oh Yes

[–]pman5595 25 points26 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/U2v0g.gif

[–]JohnDoeNuts 23 points24 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/odtkt.gif

[–]TrollyMcTrollster 1 point2 points ago

Aww man...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gspElv1yvc

It's sad man..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNFKrWQlNRk

[–]sacredcowkiller 0 points1 point ago

I hate that commercial. But oh my god that other video is so damn sad..

[–]Parthenonn 1 point2 points ago

Got me...

[–]alltwo147 4 points5 points ago

Good ol' Wilfred.

[–]--Repetitive-- 0 points1 point ago

This gif is hilarious for some reason. What is it from?

[–]SuperProZach 1 point2 points ago

If i remember right it's from Doctor Who. And in the context of the show it is super sad.

[–]I_LIKE_GIRAFFE_BONER 1 point2 points ago

Like, this sad.

[–]dhruvfire 0 points1 point ago

SPOILERS!!!

Really!

I don't know how to use spoilers tags so here we go:

It's from Donna's wedding, when Wilfred knows the doctor spent his dying breaths watching and Donna can never know or her brain will explode.

[–]I_LIKE_GIRAFFE_BONER 0 points1 point ago

Spoilers? There are some people not done with the show.

[–]dhruvfire 0 points1 point ago

Fair enough. I...just sort of forgot there were people who wanted to watch Dr. Who and hadn't seen The End of Time yet. I dunno, it's been a couple years for me, so it just slipped my mind. Also, this subreddit doesn't have spoiler tags, does it? I couldn't figure those out.

[–]alltwo147 73 points74 points ago

"Nothing really mattress."

Goddammit.

[–]scorpion347 14 points15 points ago

Didn't notice that. Thank you.

[–]UsernameNotFound404 6 points7 points ago

Never cared for where they lay...

[–]The_Last_Melon14 0 points1 point ago

...anyone comfy. Nothing really mattress to me

[–]PenguinPwnge 9 points10 points ago

RIP Matt, we hardly knew ye

[–]OrangePrototype 5 points6 points ago

Oh god. Nobody tell the pillows.

[–]MBSquared 3 points4 points ago

What about the sheets?

[–]jimaug87 3 points4 points ago

You have just become my favorite novelty account. There are lots of dumb ones, but you have talent.

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 11 points12 points ago

So he's setting himself up as a sex swing huh? Very kinky.

[–]FUCKED-WITH-A-KNIFE 8 points9 points ago

Also known as a hammock.

[–]HentMas 2 points3 points ago

you are in an awful lot of places aren't you??

... nice pun, once i noticed i chuckled

[–]teknoire7 1 point2 points ago

Oh my god. When it says nothing literally mattress I conquered constipation.

[–]IAMA_hampster_AMAA 1 point2 points ago

Nothing really matters.... To meeee.

[–]beastgamer9136 1 point2 points ago

*nothing really mattress to me.. Too me.. Da da dum, dum! Da da da dum dum!

Mama...

[–]Decatf 1 point2 points ago

iminus and imageshack? Are Redditors abandoning imgur or something?

[–]Nsfw_1794 0 points1 point ago

Every damn post you draw something you must be a karma whore but you win this time like every other time here have my up vote

[–]SirAuron 1 point2 points ago

Man you never put punctuation in your sentences you also fragment your sentences making it hard to read sorry condescending grammar nazi here

[–]Nsfw_1794 0 points1 point ago

Sorry for that, im not from murica so its kinda hard for me sir. :(

[–]SirAuron 1 point2 points ago

Me neither. I am from Canada. Just remember, after a sentence, when you get onto a new idea, place a period at the end.

[–]Nsfw_1794 0 points1 point ago

Thanks.

[–]IronMikeT 0 points1 point ago

you. you are awesome.

[–]lethargicwalrus 1 point2 points ago

why are you everywhere?

[–]akaalkatraz 58 points59 points ago

Why is a memory foam bed squeaking?

[–]findgretta 63 points64 points ago

Bed frame

[–]akaalkatraz 17 points18 points ago

Touche.

[–]TransAm 1 point2 points ago

Creaky bed frame maybe?

[–]TrollyMcTrollster 0 points1 point ago

Always buy a box spring, not a foundation. Those are just wood and cardboard.

[–]SourCreamWater 70 points71 points ago

Memory foam would be weird to fuck on. Your knees would sink in and she'd sink in...after I sank in, if you know what I mean...

[–]Binsky89 41 points42 points ago

I hear its terrible because it absorbs all motion, and the bounce can certainly help.

[–]teasnorter 39 points40 points ago

I'ts like fucking in quicksand.

[–]jimaug87 5 points6 points ago

It's more work for the bottom.

Memory foam is terrible for fucking, but great for making love. They may be one in the same, but there are different kinds of sex.

[–]robocop12 11 points12 points ago

What's the difference? 20 y/o virgin...

[–]jimaug87 12 points13 points ago

Fucking in doing what you see in porn. You both end up sweaty, breathless, and in bliss.

Making love involves more kissing (hint: not just her lips; tits; clit), moves slower, lasts longer. Usually escalates to fucking, but it's the best kind of fucking.

[–]danrennt98 6 points7 points ago

boner

[–]notnotcitricsquid 8 points9 points ago

the goal with fucking is to cum, the goal with making love is to... the goal is not for your penis to explode but your feels.

[–]dydxexisex 5 points6 points ago

http://imgur.com/gtLo0.jpg

[–]I_LIKE_GIRAFFE_BONER 2 points3 points ago

This seems relevant.

[–]tomsterstroodle 0 points1 point ago

It's like feeling bags of sand on quicksand.

[–]teasnorter 0 points1 point ago

Not sure if you've tried it before but I HIGHLY recommend against sticking your dick in sand, regardless of the types.

[–]MrDTD 5 points6 points ago

It's the opposite problem of having a waterbed.

[–]kuraishin 3 points4 points ago

Really? do people not use their thrusts more?

It is great in my opinion, but to each his own i guess.

[–]wiener_boner 14 points15 points ago

I sell mattresses for a living...and I sleep (and fuck) on a memory foam mattress. What I tell customers is that you lose the bounce, but you gain traction.

[–]kuraishin 1 point2 points ago

Its perfectly fine. less noise, more actions

[–]Ixionas 4 points5 points ago

Cool rap bro

[–]TrollyMcTrollster 0 points1 point ago

I sell mattresses too, I had a local manufacturer make me a pillow top with latex, pocket coils, and foam encased. You also need a sturdy box spring.

[–]wiener_boner 0 points1 point ago

How do you like your latex/coil hybrid? In my experience, customers who prefer a more traditional spring mattress are drawn to the latex models. They want the benefits of memory foam, but not the feel.

[–]TrollyMcTrollster 0 points1 point ago

It's the best mattress I've ever had and I always get compliments about it. I've even gotten laid because of it. The pocket coils make it feel almost like a memory foam mattress because the rest of the bed doesn't bounce. Since the latex has holes it's also cool during the night. Memory foam eventually loses it's "memory" and just becomes like regular foam.

[–]denizenKRIM -1 points0 points ago

Is traction really much of a factor for people? I'm assuming couples are fucking in a Full size or up.

[–]wiener_boner 0 points1 point ago

Most couples get a queen or king size. Full is slowly being phased out. Personally, I like memory foam better for sex. I tried banging on a spring mattress not too long ago, and it felt so odd...very bouncy! I've just gotten used to the feeling of memory foam I guess.

[–]SirAuron 0 points1 point ago

Do you have a lot of customers ask you which bed is best on which to fuck?

[–]wiener_boner 0 points1 point ago

They don't necessarily ask me which mattress is best for fucking, but sometimes they'll get a little brave and ask what my personal opinion is on springs vs. memory foam when it comes to sex.

[–]SourCreamWater 0 points1 point ago

Hahah nice. I'm glad that people actually ask the questions they want to know the answer too. It would suck to be embarrassed and get it home to christen it and BWAAA BWOHHH

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]itsmoist 11 points12 points ago

Obviously it's like fucking in water. You just drown in mattress.

[–]TheLeMoNjUiCe191 5 points6 points ago

pretty sure he wanted some erotic reading to fap to.

[–]thestairway67 2 points3 points ago

That poster's username was enough for me.

[–]TheLeMoNjUiCe191 0 points1 point ago

i see what he and you did there.

[–]lethargicwalrus 2 points3 points ago

BRB going to go masturbate with a memory foam mattress.

[–]burrito_brother 2 points3 points ago

Let me know how that goes for you, I'm curious.

[–]MuffinBoss 11 points12 points ago

It burns.

[–]EntroperZero 1 point2 points ago

Matt's gonna need more therapy.

[–]nemoTheKid 4 points5 points ago

I just bought a memory foam mattress and this thread is making me think twice.

[–]CarolineTurpentine 1 point2 points ago

It's worth it for the awesome sleep, but if you have a bit of cash left over buy your self a Liberator Esse and you will have the best of both worlds. It is worth it.

[–]kuraishin 1 point2 points ago

Don't they are great for rest, and you don't really loose anything on the action. just less noise from the bed itself.

[–]throwawaymechanic37 0 points1 point ago

Well put those worries aside! My memory foam mattress has gotten me more action than a wingman.

[–]FOUR_YOLO 1 point2 points ago

its actually pretty awesome, it gives just the right amount

[–]teusz16 0 points1 point ago

Agreed. I miss mine... springs are wild but they're also loud and don't push back as much.

[–]TrollyMcTrollster 0 points1 point ago

I sell mattresses, find yourself a spring mattress with a memory foam pillow top.

[–]SamuraiJakkass86 0 points1 point ago

IAmA married man who enjoys sex on a memory foam mattress.

[–]SpaceTrekkie 0 points1 point ago

It is awful for sex. Pretty much any position is uncomfortable is some way...with what parts sink and what not.

[–]Cabana 0 points1 point ago

when I sink you sink we sink

[–]Lettuce_Get_Weird 27 points28 points ago

If that psychiatrist wants to kick up the therapy a notch, he should pop a black lightbulb in that lamp.

[–]Lillipout 4 points5 points ago

This must be where Wilford Brimley was strangled by Bob Crane.

[–]megustadotjpg 7 points8 points ago

Now I'm sad because I think of all the things my mattress has been through.

[–]YHofSuburbia 4 points5 points ago

Yeah, all those times you accidentally came on your bed whilst fapping ferociously.

[–]megustadotjpg 2 points3 points ago

exactly :(

[–]DICKTracey 2 points3 points ago

I like the title the most, you handsome man/beautiful woman you, with the big brain.

[–]PistolMancer 1 point2 points ago

False: memory foam does not "squeak". And if you have a temperpedic you don't put it on a box spring so there is no chance for a squeaking noise unless it's you're head board, which is unlikely.

[–]whatthesamm[S] 1 point2 points ago

Original photo made by RhinoJelly! Find him at @Rhinojelly or Facebook.com/rhinojelly

[–]theduffman88 1 point2 points ago

The ironic thing about this post - http://www.stlbeds.com/articles/2012/05/11/why-memory-foam-mattresses-may-be-bad-for-sex/

[–]MLIola 0 points1 point ago

I feel as though my memory foam mattress would just suffocate me. Now if only I had a way to find out. <audible sob>

[–]bloodybadger -1 points0 points ago

ba dum tsss

[–]freelemons17 1 point2 points ago

Not sure if iFunny copied OP, or OP copied iFunny.

[–]BIG_AMERIKAN_T_T_S -1 points0 points ago

Either way OP is still a fag and iFunny is still cancer.

[–]OutlawJoseyWales 1 point2 points ago

Too bad memory foam beds are awful to have sex on.

[–]arsewhisperer 0 points1 point ago

I know this is a joke, but memory foam SUCKS for intercoursings.

[–]MrCrumbbley -1 points0 points ago

I could see this happening on Family Guy.

[–]mattsworkreddit 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone know how to get one of these cheap? I've looked on ebay/amazon and they only ship to the US

[–]Zxorac 1 point2 points ago

If its memory foam... Why did it squeek???

[–]kuraishin 0 points1 point ago

findgretta said it was the bed frame that caused it.

[–]wafflehat -1 points0 points ago

Matt is stressed. .... Mattress.

[–]PRNDL 1 point2 points ago

Heh Heh. Matt.

[–]Troy_Davis 0 points1 point ago

Why does the therapist look like Will Smith?

[–]LoLd00dLoL 0 points1 point ago

False, if it were memory foam, the mattress would not squeak.

[–]Kaney1967 0 points1 point ago

An old friend from college created this!

He's on twitter @rhinojelly and Facebook.com/rhinojelly

[–]hogfan6 0 points1 point ago

Memory foam doesn't squeak.....

[–]RunningNose 0 points1 point ago

Why would a mattress need a cushion to sit on?

[–]chickenfun1 0 points1 point ago

But memory foam doesn't squeak?

[–]suupermorgann 0 points1 point ago

down vote for comic sans font

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I haven't seen a memory foam pad look like that since my Sealy Posturepedic came back from 'Nam.

[–]pandaman1029 0 points1 point ago

So, today I read about 'Baader-Meinhof phenomenon'. http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/116wbt/til_when_you_see_something_for_the_first_time/

Last week, there was a thread about buying something for $100 to greatly improve one's life, and someone suggested a 3" memory foam mattress. I purchased said mattress. Today, it arrived and I put it on my bed about the same time this comic was posted...

[–]Byndley 0 points1 point ago

Those aren't tears below the mattress' eyes...

[–]Rokursoxtv 0 points1 point ago

I bet a temprapedic mattress would have a lit to share. They're such softies

[–]SamstA64 0 points1 point ago

Too bad memory foam has no springs and therefore doesn't squeak. PLOTHOLES

[–]CaptainRon87 0 points1 point ago

Fucking on memory foam is horrible. No way that chick dug it.

[–]eumoria 0 points1 point ago

a memory foam mattress wouldn't squeak

[–]viishied 0 points1 point ago

"that was great" are you sure those were her exact words, OP?

[–]Ampleslacks 1 point2 points ago

False: Sex on a temperpedic is muuuuuch more difficult than on a normal bed.

[–]PatriotsFTW 0 points1 point ago

Good guy OP giving credit to maker of the original photo

[–]sev09 0 points1 point ago

ACTUALLY, IF IT WAS MEMORY FOAM, IT WOULDN'T SQUEAK. SPRING MATTRESSES SQUEAK. :|

[–]jimmypopali 0 points1 point ago

The therapist looks like a white Will Smith.

[–]HappyTissue 0 points1 point ago

I've seen some things, done some shit, wouldn't do it again

[–]Had_To_Switch -4 points-3 points ago

How many fucking times is this gonna be posted this week?

[–]MoonRazer 0 points1 point ago

Clever Title...

[–]asldkfououhe -3 points-2 points ago

me no read tiny comic sans words

[–]DOWNBOATS_TOTHELEFT -1 points0 points ago

I don't get it.

[–]Crap_n_Crackers -3 points-2 points ago

How does the bed squeak if it's memory foam?

[–]Rokursoxtv 0 points1 point ago

Hush, my child. Just enjoy the joke

[–]helium_farts 0 points1 point ago

Bed frame.