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1252
1253

Space? (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by qudsi

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[–]naz10 337 points338 points ago

Overly attached son.

[–]anonmou5e 130 points131 points ago

She is never going to hook up with him if he doesn't take it easy.

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 94 points95 points ago

He should try breaking his wrists. I hear that works.

[–]Picklwarrior 46 points47 points ago

http://zipmeme.com/uploads/generated/g1336758670825698975.jpg

[–]pogopunkxiii 40 points41 points ago

I didn't...

[–]BrohanGutenburg 14 points15 points ago

me neither =/

[–]inferior-raven 89 points90 points ago

Basically, some guy broke his wrists. He bacame very sexually frustrated due to his inability to masturbate. His parents decided that his mother should "help" him.

She ended up doing exactly that. But it progressed from handjobs to blowjobs and eventually to sex. It progressed well beyond the time his injuries healed and he maintained a casual sexual relationship with his mother for a while.

You're welcome, and I'm sorry.

[–]The_Jimster 39 points40 points ago

And I thought I forgot that one...

[–]jeffAA 14 points15 points ago

I missed that one, now I wish I missed this one.

[–]BrohanGutenburg 8 points9 points ago

Oh yeah. Of course I remember this. I just thought it was a broken arm. That was a crazy AMA.

[–]cloaked_rhombus 2 points3 points ago

couldn't he have just put it between his arms or something?

[–]inferior-raven 7 points8 points ago

I picture the cast as one of those fixed L shaped ones.

But at any rate, I'm sure he couldn't please himself. Do you think a guy would get his mom to jack him off without first trying every possible form of masturbation?

[–]AFewSecondsAgoDouche 2 points3 points ago

Why would broken wrists need an L shaped cast?

[–]cloaked_rhombus 0 points1 point ago

I was actually thinking the story was fake. Even if the casts were the l shaped ones he would still have his fingers free at the end and which would make it possible.

[–]Bushido_Plan 1 point2 points ago

Is there a source on this? I'm curious to see.

[–]inferior-raven 0 points1 point ago

I actually can't seem to find it right now. I found a different one that I recognize as having being linked in that thread and posted it in reply before realizing it was the wrong one.

Not sure where I can find it. Reddit will come through.

[–]TapionXIII 1 point2 points ago

One sec.

EDIT: Got it.

[–]Bengt77 3 points4 points ago

Purple link...

[–]Bushido_Plan 0 points1 point ago

Thanks!

[–]naz10 1 point2 points ago

That is impossible to follow.

[–]0bi-JuAn 0 points1 point ago

Is there a chance that anyone has the link?

[–]--Repetitive-- 0 points1 point ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/

[–]inferior-raven 0 points1 point ago

Probably. I looked for it and I found a different mother/son incest thread. Unless the mods deleted it or something. I don't recall him proving it.

[–]shoebob 1 point2 points ago

Oh, i totally missed that reference. I thought that if you broke his wrists you could replace his hands with hooks, hence hooking up.

[–]--Repetitive-- -1 points0 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/

[–]--Repetitive-- -1 points0 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/

[–]studmuffffffin 0 points1 point ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/

[–]DJAshian 2 points3 points ago

Not sure whether that was awesome, or soul-corrupting...

[–]dijitalia 0 points1 point ago

Since when are those two particular qualities mutually exclusive, DJAshian?

[–]--Repetitive-- -1 points0 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 8 points9 points ago

Or he could wrestle with his sister.

[–]danrennt98 -1 points0 points ago

inb4.... motherfucker

[–]--Repetitive-- -1 points0 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 3 points4 points ago

I just re-read that whole AMA.

[–]--Repetitive-- 1 point2 points ago

It is quite interesting.

[–]RocketRedRocket 2 points3 points ago

I had a whole rant prepared, and you put it so much more succinctly. Bravo.

[–]macstan10 -1 points0 points ago

My thoughts exactly

[–]wumbologyprofessor 93 points94 points ago

For future reference, it is the key marked "space".

[–]Socky_McPuppet 95 points96 points ago

Whoa, whoa, slow down their Einstein. We aren't all born mental geniuses.

How about you explain that again, only this time without all the fancy $5 words, college-person?

[–]Creiz 56 points57 points ago

In the bottom of the screen, you have a key and it's written space. You press this key, and it's gonna make a space. Not like space, but like space space. You know, a typewriter space. Computer space. Shut up, mom just press the fucking button and you'll see. YES TRUST ME GODDAMNIT. NO IT WON'T EXPLODE YOUR PHONE. For fuck's sake, you're hopeless. No mom I'm not angry. Yes it's gonna make a space. Are you doing this on purpose? MOM PRESS THE DAMN BUTTON. See? It wasn't that hard, wasn't it?

[–]Pencilman7 34 points35 points ago

I see the internet has been recording my conversations with my mother again.

[–]lostmygravitas 15 points16 points ago

"Wait I need to write this down in a notebook I will never reference again...ok I have it now say that again?"

After an hour of this kind of nonsense for a simple task:

"Will you just do it for me?"

[–]roastnewt 12 points13 points ago

My mother does the same thing, except she writes down the procedure in incredible detail, and follows it exactly to the letter the next time. If the procedure is, say, how to move music onto her phone, she can follow the instructions exactly, but only if everything is exactly how it was when she wrote the instructions. If step one is: open iTunes, select the artist, then she will do that. But if iTunes has a playlist selected instead of her library, and the instructions don't account for this possibility, then she won't be able to figure it out.

[–]ScaredKitty 3 points4 points ago

Good god. Have you noticed they seem to lack the ability to look around, and experiment with hovering over and clicking different things? It's so frustrating.

[–]Omegamanthethird 2 points3 points ago

And that was the last conversation she had. You see, her phone had exploded because she pressed the space button.

[–]ectod -1 points0 points ago

I think moms do that just to talk about something with their sons. Either way, it's sad.

[–]corrects_you_again 3 points4 points ago

*There

[–]Socky_McPuppet 2 points3 points ago

No, no, I was tell them to slow down their Einstein because it was moving way too fast.

[–]ShadowAssassinQueef 3 points4 points ago

I am a physical genius.

[–]Jackdaws7 -3 points-2 points ago

No, this bitch is a physical genius. And she's hot too

[–]Karl_Marx_ 0 points1 point ago

Mental geniuses, compared to the physical geniuses.

[–]Socky_McPuppet 0 points1 point ago

thatsthejoke.jpg

[–]Jesus_Waffle 0 points1 point ago

What about us rectal geniuses?

[–]allineedis42 0 points1 point ago

Do you mean this one?

[–]mattmwin 64 points65 points ago

The iPhone 5 is going to completely revolutionize the posting of text conversation screenshots! Oh boy!

[–]littlelimesauce 8 points9 points ago

Also, I have to scroll now to read the bottom. so...

[–]Herdsoot 1 point2 points ago

It's a conspiracy!

[–]jshufro 0 points1 point ago

Get a new screen

[–]AFRUITPIE 1 point2 points ago

Now the text conversations can be even LONGER!

[–]CloudNineK 2 points3 points ago

I didn't even notice that. I'm so used to regarding these as fake I didn't even consider that OP's may be real.

[–]ballofire 75 points76 points ago

Fake

[–]emmveepee 31 points32 points ago

The conversation is so unnatural, it reminds me of a radio commercial with two people talking. "Well mom, you've finally entered the digital age and got a new Apple iPhone 5 from Verizon Wireless!"

[–]cheese_without_toast 21 points22 points ago

" ..Thank you, son. It sure is a great mobile telephone."

[–]emmveepee 1 point2 points ago

This format is one step above "Knowledgeable and Experienced vs Irrational and Mildly Retarded"

[–]prose-before-hoes 0 points1 point ago

Also there aren't any timestamps between the persons texts, meaning either its fake or they were all like a minute apart.

[–]DirtGotWet -1 points0 points ago

I wouldn't be so sure. My dad just start texting and doesn't know how to use spaces.

[–]ArabRedditor 0 points1 point ago

I still laughed though.

[–]Frankstg 15 points16 points ago

You don't need a smartphone to be in the digital age.

[–]Manos_Of_Fate 11 points12 points ago

But how will you Twitter in the bathroom?

[–]anthrax704 1 point2 points ago

That's not what you do in the bathroom with a smartphone.

[–]CookedPork -2 points-1 points ago

Yeah, Manos_Of_Fate, that is not what YOU do. Maybe other people do, but not YOU.

[–]britishcactus 1 point2 points ago

Text to twitter, duh!

[–]DrunkmanDoodoo 0 points1 point ago

But you aren't in the future until you get a phone that also does other things that you have to pay for the rest of your life to use!

[–]bnayr 19 points20 points ago

spaaaaaaaaaace!

[–]mathgod 4 points5 points ago

The volume on my headphones was up way too loud. I think I'm bleeding.

[–]______________Nebag 1 point2 points ago

http://www.spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccee.com/

[–]zutsori 1 point2 points ago

Just wasted my evening. And loved it.

[–]konydanza 1 point2 points ago

Gotta go to space...

[–]Ixidane 0 points1 point ago

She is not the best at space.

[–]SethIsInSchool 12 points13 points ago

NO EDGE

[–]lunasradishes 5 points6 points ago

DUDE NO EDGE.

[–]SethIsInSchool 2 points3 points ago

NO. EDGE.

[–]eyereport 2 points3 points ago

Maybe just a little?

[–]SethIsInSchool 2 points3 points ago

NO. NO EDGE. AND NO WIGGLE ROOM WITH SAID EDGELESSNESS.

[–]eyereport 0 points1 point ago

What if it's only on one side, and only between the hours of 4 p.m. and 7 p.m.?

[–]nameismy 10 points11 points ago

...the final frontier.

[–]beagleears 0 points1 point ago

of typing

[–]Symbi0tic 8 points9 points ago

If this were any more blatantly fake..it may have double the upvotes. Idiots.

[–]ilovewinning 13 points14 points ago

My.favorite.is when droid.uses.period.instead. of space

[–]not_a_cool_name 11 points12 points ago

I do this all the time -.-

[–]kaiyotic 1 point2 points ago

your name is so hot

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 1 point2 points ago

Fuck.it. I never.fix.it either.

[–]GoodGuyAnusDestroyer -1 points0 points ago

It pisses me off so much though.

[–]GoghGirl 0 points1 point ago

Is there a way to disable this? Please... I my worst problem is that I added a keyboard that insists on adding "i" after every single period. Oh and sometimes "the". It's a little auto correct happy. I'm still at the point where I will usually correct it.

[–]2FishInATank 10 points11 points ago

A friend of mine used to work for Carphone Warehouse and one day he got a text message from his girlfriend of the time saying:

"Thespacekeyonmyphoneisbroken.Whenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative"

He rushed home immediately, only pausing occasionally to wonder 'What the hell does 'ternative' mean?'

[–]Hyro0o0 3 points4 points ago

http://instantostrich.com/

[–]ronin84 1 point2 points ago

There is nothing funny about this, or any of these goddamn iPhone / Facebook screenshot posts.

[–]CaptAwesomepants 9 points10 points ago

faketextconversationsarentfunny

[–]-3k- 1 point2 points ago

Howdoyourepost?

[–]taolbi 0 points1 point ago

How do you are post.

[–]Spartans4lyfe 3 points4 points ago

Not really sure why, but UK's "Mum" bothers me.

[–]mogeeoh 24 points25 points ago

Well I'll balance it out by saying the US' "Mom" bothers me :)

[–]Ballersock 1 point2 points ago

When little kids call their moms, do they call them "mummy" like US kids call them "mommy"? Because that, and mum being a type of flower, was always what bothered me about you guys spelling it mum. Most AU/UK people I hear talk say something very similar to "Mom" but when they type it, it's always mum.

[–]CookedPork 4 points5 points ago

"Are you my mummy?"

[–]landragoran 3 points4 points ago

go to your room!

[–]SunScout 2 points3 points ago

I am very cross!

[–]mogeeoh 1 point2 points ago

They do indeed.

[–]britishcactus 1 point2 points ago

Naah, my British accent definitely pronounces it as 'mum'. Unless the people you know address their mothers as "ma'am", I've never really noticed any fellow Brits who sound American because of this.

[–]Perihelion_ 0 points1 point ago

I don't say "mum" in my natural east midlands accent. It's usually just mam. Not short for madam. Just mam. "I'm going 'round me mams fer a bit".

Never mom or anything close either of course. That's just not on.

[–]britishcactus 0 points1 point ago

Ahh, Pilkington style. I love when I hear 'mam' but there's no way you can say it in my (Guernsey?) accent without looking like a cuntwasp.

[–]Perihelion_ 0 points1 point ago

Haha yeah, it's very much something that either comes naturally with your accent, or doesn't sound at all right. I can't say it in my at-work-voice or I'd sound like I confused someone with the Queen.

[–]asdfghjkl92 0 points1 point ago

in my experience, yes we UK people do. obviously is varies by region/ accent, but in london at least. we pronounce 'mother' mummy exactly the same as you would pronounce an 'egyptian dead guy wrapped up' mummy.

[–]MrLOLsteveLOL 0 points1 point ago

Better than us Irish calling her "Ma" and "Mammy".

[–]Karl_Marx_ 5 points6 points ago

Foreign culture also bothers me. Ameerrrica.

[–]ILikeMyBlueEyes -1 points0 points ago

My mom does that same thing.

[–]hellojoe93 0 points1 point ago

My Dad did this for about two weeks before he figured it out when we first got him a cell phone.

[–]UltimateHipster 1 point2 points ago

Do iphones not have timestamps on messages? I find it pretty odd not to have them.

[–]josephanthony 1 point2 points ago

Son, are you Space?

[–]xanxitto 1 point2 points ago

For some reason my mom did the same for ages, but she had a dumbphone which i guess made it ok. One day i just got bored and told her where the space was.

[–]tesla3327 -2 points-1 points ago

Seriouslyhowthehelldoyouputinaspace?doesn'tanyoneknow?

[–]CallMeAnEngineer -1 points0 points ago

My pal Wheatley here knows a good bit about this 'space'.

[–]prodigium 0 points1 point ago

Ah yes, Space... the first frontier.

[–]anchises868 0 points1 point ago

She violated the rule that says you have to be at least 10 percent smarter than the equipment you're trying to operate.

[–]hfwhjkhejlkghlj -1 points0 points ago

Space? Space? wanna go to space

[–]alkoid -1 points0 points ago

At the mean time somewhere in china some guy went: Stop make fortune cookie text! We make the fake phone text thing now!

[–]Kroof 0 points1 point ago

My mom had an interesting issue too when she got her phone about 2 years ago. She couldn't figure out how to use words T9 didn't have for some reason. So it became letter space letter space..you get the P I C T U R E.

[–]Mugros 1 point2 points ago

Shouldn't this go into /r/fakeiphonechats?

[–]realalexnewtron -1 points0 points ago

Why isn't she using an iPhone? It'd be easier on having someone who has no experience with a phone to be using an iPhone for its friendly user-interface.

[–]105Hummel 0 points1 point ago

FAAAAKE

[–]Lying_Cake 0 points1 point ago

Yes I would like an overused fake text message joke please.

[–]pro_skub 0 points1 point ago

mobile phones which aren't smartphones are just as digital.

[–]universitychick 0 points1 point ago

hahaha my mom had the exact same problem!

[–]AlmightyThorian 0 points1 point ago

It's not that hard to make a space. You just need 3 vectors where none is the linear combination of the others (i.e. they're not all in a plane).

[–]RockFerrit 0 points1 point ago

This is authentic.

[–]Vexxiis 0 points1 point ago

Over attached daughter.

[–]bananafishxx3 0 points1 point ago

Such a typical mom response... I love it.

[–]Screen-Name 0 points1 point ago

I'vealwayswonderedthismyself...

[–]Dekanuva 0 points1 point ago

Lol, this fool her got himself an iPhone 5. How you liking your new camera... lens... cover?

[–]J0hnneyUtah 0 points1 point ago

Wow, your mom is a dumbass

[–]cvillano 0 points1 point ago

howdoyourepost.jpeg

[–]Black_meme 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me or have I seen this everywhere else except reddit? Even if it's different it's still the same joke. ಠ_ಠ

[–]TacoFloober -1 points0 points ago

I'm glad this thread was not flooded with references to Portal. : ).

I expect to be downvoted now.

[–]themaskedugly 0 points1 point ago

It's nice of you to explain in your first text the entire context of the joke, so we won't get confused. Very helpful forward thinking right there.

[–]windowbreaker9 1 point2 points ago

I'll create a fake iphone conversation and act like its my mom

[–]mostpplareuneducated 1 point2 points ago

OMGILOVEFAKEIPHONETEXTMESSAGEPOSTS

[–]grzzzly 0 points1 point ago

Pretty sure this belongs in /r/space

[–]taolbi 0 points1 point ago

WHEREISTHESPACEBARANDHOWDOITURNOFFCAPS

[–]Brucenotsomighty 0 points1 point ago

WE HAVNT SEEN THIS A BILLION TIMES BEFORE NOW HAVE WE.

[–]ectod 0 points1 point ago

How come she can figure out all the letters but not Space ?

[–]mary_widdow 0 points1 point ago

My mom has the same issue. She claims that when she sends me a text with no spaces that it's our "secret family code" but I know the truth.

[–]my_sisters_a_whore 0 points1 point ago

That text looks like my ex boyfriend's messages on facebook. For some reason he thinks I'm online ALL the time and ignoring him.

[–]Aleriya 2 points3 points ago

My 68-year old aunt recently got a phone that can send text messages. Here is our most recent exchange:

Dear Aleriya. Are you still bringing a salad for Thanksgiving dinner? Love, Aunt Gloria.

Yeah, I'm bring a fruit salad. Is that okay?

Dear Aleriya. That would be lovely. Love, Aunt Gloria.

She is adorable.

[–]crypticchestnut -1 points0 points ago

Wanna know how to do a space? buy a telescope if you wanna see me, gonna be in space. going to space. want to got to space. I'm in SPAAAAACCCEEEE

[–]digbus 0 points1 point ago

Wonder whats on reddit today? oh just reposts..

[–]catawampus841 0 points1 point ago

Space... the final frontier.

[–]maxomia 0 points1 point ago

GODDAMNTHISISSOFAKE

[–]Gondile 0 points1 point ago

Putting the punchline in the title: Why?

[–]AwesomeLlama 0 points1 point ago

Heyy mom :)
Please Respond.

[–]EvilDoesIt 1 point2 points ago

Where do astronauts go to hang out?

The space bar

[–]srender07 0 points1 point ago

http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/207/f/3/wallpaper_portal_2___spaaaace_by_rikoray-d58ovyw.png

[–]Frankthenontank 0 points1 point ago

i was expecting something along the lines of this http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/524904249274121803/4C3CF0C00C76A83B94F84DEF48141E73EEE8AB3C/268x268.resizedimage&sa=X&ei=Ofd0UJ-fIMeq2gWs04G4Aw&ved=0CAsQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNFOGtiqCv14yPKO6G70R2mfDrkFxQ

[–]mei9ji 0 points1 point ago

space, the final frontier.

[–]hshawn419 0 points1 point ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeKMS62GrTI&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[–]Joliet_Jake_Blues 0 points1 point ago

You don't need a smartphone to text.

[–]wankbasket 0 points1 point ago

thats what i say when im in my astrophysics class

[–]Hasteman 0 points1 point ago

Spaaaaaaaaace!

[–]bloodybadger 3 points4 points ago

Iwaswonderingthesamething.

[–]bloodybadger 0 points1 point ago

Well then. Wasn't expecting 5,000 upvotes, but I still thought it was funny.

[–]BrohanGutenburg 1 point2 points ago

You gotta let it breathe more than 20 minutes. But I did chuckle.

[–]hydr0genic -5 points-4 points ago

Repost.

[–]hobaggg -3 points-2 points ago

My mom did the exact same thing when she got her new phone haha.

[–]djbriandamage -2 points-1 points ago

She needs a space sphere. Spaaaaaaaaace

[–]vanillapep -2 points-1 points ago

I feel like this is the story of my life. My deepest sympathies.

[–]shoganate 0 points1 point ago

My mom can find the space key fine, but she can't figure out how to get any punctuation except the comma on her non-smartphone.

[–]OMNIGOD -2 points-1 points ago

How do I shot web?

[–]Ch0rizo -2 points-1 points ago

MUM

[–]Rhymeceratops -2 points-1 points ago

"Edwardo"

crying.

[–]Speaking-of-segues 1 point2 points ago

I want to know how she got that through autocorrect

[–]justcasty -3 points-2 points ago

You fire the portal gun at the moon. Duh.

[–]NOT_a_teenager -2 points-1 points ago

THIS WAS TAKEN ON AN IPHONE 5!!!!!!!!!

[–]mr_mojo773 -5 points-4 points ago

Spaaaaaaccceeeee

[–]sirlancel0t -4 points-3 points ago

I nearly peed.

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