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1177
1178

Black metal poetry (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Nekrocvlt

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[–]EdTheThird 19 points20 points ago

Granspasguitars ams not metals!

[–]eatmylabia 2 points3 points ago

STOPS COPIES ME!

[–]TheMagicToolBus 19 points20 points ago

Roses are black

Violets are black

My heart is black

I hope you die

[–]Nekrocvlt[S] 23 points24 points ago

Roses are gay.

Violets are gayer.

Fuck this poem.

I'm listening to Slayer.

[–]redditfanman 4 points5 points ago

That poem was magical

[–]dontpickausername 2 points3 points ago

Roses are red,

Violets are red,

Trees are red,

My garden's on fire.

[–]razmathazmat 61 points62 points ago

Niceeee

[–]Nekrocvlt[S] 13 points14 points ago

So fucking kvlt \m/

[–]muchomuchomaas 7 points8 points ago

FTFY

So fucking kvvʇ \m/

[–]TheNerdWithNoName -5 points-4 points ago

Niiiiiice.

[–]Jonny_Watts 1 point2 points ago

Niccccce

[–]paddysteed 13 points14 points ago

This is sort of surreal whilst listening to "When I'm Sixty-Four"

[–]mitotajc 23 points24 points ago

Black metal unplugged, live from the classroom.

[–]Cygnus_X1 9 points10 points ago

In Norway they call it folk music. This is the sharing of culture in a classroom.

[–]Brutalitarian 0 points1 point ago

I want to visit Norway one day...

Is it true that you have wild metalheads with facepaint roaming your woods, mauling bears?

[–]solsethop 27 points28 points ago

Reminds me of these guys (if its not actually just them)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOibIxl3dLo&feature=related

[–]megalodon90 16 points17 points ago

That is the most grim and frostbitten thing I have ever seen.

[–]goblinpiledriver 10 points11 points ago

lol, that kinda looks like a spinoff of this video

[–]solsethop 1 point2 points ago

haha wow you are right

[–]TrindadeDisciple 0 points1 point ago

I was totally going to post this if no one else had. The hat poking over the top of the pit as they walk along...lol!

[–]n1c0_ds 12 points13 points ago

Skip at 2:19 without watching any of it. GIF material right there.

[–]EbonHawk7x 5 points6 points ago

Link for the lazy.

[–]thebadbit 0 points1 point ago

GIF it is. Along with what's at 2:19

[–]Your_Post_Is_Metal 18 points19 points ago

I love how the most serious genre in all of music history is simultaneously the goofiest.

[–]EmptheBear 2 points3 points ago

You think they are wanting to be taken seriously in that video?

[–]SuprisinglyFemale 2 points3 points ago

I turned off the sound to watch xD they look like a bunch of zombies having fun in the snow!

[–]moddestmouse 1 point2 points ago

Metal is at the same time incredibly serious and a ridiculous parody of itself. Kind of like James Bond. Metal is James Bond.

[–]wiithepiiple 1 point2 points ago

I never really took Death Metal seriously. It just seemed too over-the-top to be taken with straight faced seriousness. Not that it's bad, just feels a bit ironically poking fun at the logical end that hair bands pointed to.

[–]provaros 7 points8 points ago

Black...it's black metal.

[–]akidwhoplaysguitar 0 points1 point ago

as someone who doesn't really care for metal, what are the differences? I'm genuinely curious.

like Ive heard of metal, death metal, black metal, speed metal, hell even Viking metal.

[–]Brutalitarian 2 points3 points ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_metal

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_metal

It's like asking what the difference is between Classical and Jazz to us metalheads.

Oh, and Viking metal is just a joke. It's actually Folk Metal.

[–]provaros 1 point2 points ago

The melody in death metal is more "raw" with a lot of emphasis on bass. Black metal has a more symphonic vibe. Also the vocals in death metal are more guttural than the shrieking ones in black metal. Another thing is that black metal performers regularly make use of theatrics such as make-up, the so-called "corpse paint". Honestly, if you really want to see the difference listen to a song by Cannibal Corpse (death) and then one by Immortal (black)

[–]theguyjb 1 point2 points ago

Thank you.

[–]provaros 1 point2 points ago

Just doing my part as a metalhead.

[–]Your_Post_Is_Metal 1 point2 points ago

It isn't always meant to be taken seriously. Some of the best bands are the ones who poke fun at themselves. But the black metal scene has some of the most serious fans and musicians on the planet, too. Darkthrone, for example almost always approach their creative process with a sense of humor and a wonderful kind of "we don't give a fuck" attitude. Compared to a band like Gorgoroth or early Mayhem, they're refreshingly silly.

[–]Nekrocvlt[S] 3 points4 points ago

Hijacking the top comment here:

I didn't know this was going to blow up so fast, so here's the link to the original post and the Original-Original Poster over at /r/MetalMemes. Upvote where upvotes are due.

Hail and kill, brothers and sisters \m/

[–]this_is_your_dad 0 points1 point ago

Dissapoint. No snowball fight. Satan would totally start a snowball fight.

[–]byobguy 1 point2 points ago

After he got done chewing on Brutus, Judas, and Cassius.

[–]Nekrocvlt[S] -2 points-1 points ago

Hahaha, I've seen this before.

Gets me every time!

[–]606_10614w 9 points10 points ago

This gif is dildos

[–]thetallestnebraskan 5 points6 points ago

I bet he gets a lot of gmilfs.

[–]HebrewHamm3r 0 points1 point ago

Your comments is dildos

[–]RowSkin 0 points1 point ago

Stops copies me!

[–]xorn 1 point2 points ago

It is nots dildos! You're always holdings mes backs, Skwisgaars!

[–]kalseru 8 points9 points ago

I know that is not the real lyrics but what song is that gif from

[–]Nekrocvlt[S] 18 points19 points ago

Here's the link to the original video.

[–]my-little-pwny 7 points8 points ago

Assuming this is a legit classroom performance. Could you imagine coming back to school day after fucking day and sitting in that class.

[–]byobguy 1 point2 points ago

I think they'd just be the joke of the class.

[–]nowayride 2 points3 points ago

No matter how many new tabs I open this in, it sounds exactly the same. How???

[–]The_Sophster 6 points7 points ago

Still trying to keep my cool in Psychology class.

[–]t0gep1 8 points9 points ago

Oh god I laughed way to much. Almost fell off me chair.

[–]Pooprainbows 1 point2 points ago

I laughed for about 20 minutes. My family must think I'm stupid or mentally challenged.

[–]Thryck 5 points6 points ago

To be fair, if you laughed for 20 minutes at this, you probably are.

[–]Pooprainbows 0 points1 point ago

Very true.

[–]VonVikernes 6 points7 points ago

\m/

[–]Nekrocvlt[S] 1 point2 points ago

Hahaha, I love you name!

[–]VonVikernes 1 point2 points ago

Haha, thanks! I use this name on a lot of things. xD

[–]Drugstep 3 points4 points ago

i laughed harder than i should have

[–]anarchyz 1 point2 points ago

how hard should you have laughed?

[–]Bumtown 3 points4 points ago

Twon glances overwhelmed with woes

Reflecting the echoes of a fall upon a bed of rocks

Such a hideous clamour

An agony that stained the azure

The light of the world

And the wretched olive tree

Stars receded with shaking grace

Degraded holy essence, the third hypostasis

Unaltered holy essence, the third hypostasis

De profundis clamavi ad te, Domine

[–]entropyevader 4 points5 points ago

needs more inverted-mooncross necro-goat

[–]JacquesPOSER 3 points4 points ago

close enough

Evening minuetto in a castle by the sea
A jewel more radiant than the moon
Lowered Her mask to me
The sublimest creature the Gods, full of fire
Would marvel at making their Queen
Infusing the air with Her fragrant desire
And my heart reeled with grave poetry....

[–]classy_stegasaurus 0 points1 point ago

I laughed so hard, I fell down, had a coughing fit, continued laughing, and started to hurt. Then I saw the gif again

[–]MileHighElement 2 points3 points ago

It's funny that he tries to fan the smell to the rest of the classroom with his hair.

[–]thetallestnebraskan 2 points3 points ago

What are they doings with thos granpas guitars?

[–]cjs3 2 points3 points ago

This is not funny. Yet, I laughed. A lot.

[–]angrybob4213 2 points3 points ago

Holy shit! This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time!

[–]xDUDERx 0 points1 point ago

God damnit this is amazing

[–]megasourusrex 0 points1 point ago

Oh god I laughed so hard at this XD

[–]autocorrects 0 points1 point ago

Don't know much about metal, but is an acoustic guitar the right thing to use?

[–]Bummstoff 4 points5 points ago

There are bands like "Impaled Northern Moonforest" that ONLY do acoustic "covers" of well-known black metal tracks.

For example, there is "Return of the Necrowizard" (actually a recognizable parody of "Freezing Moon" by Mayhem): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7AI11o58N8

It just doesn't get any more metal than this. And yes, the "drums" are "acoustic" as well. Here is a video of one of their...sessions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNHQQ2tRR_A

[–]burb90 0 points1 point ago

As the other dude jams on a classical guitar.

[–]zarthonia 0 points1 point ago

Kinda looks like the guy from Detroit Metal City.

[–]SquareTurtles 1 point2 points ago

Pretty hardcore for an acoustic guitar

[–]migzors 0 points1 point ago

I like how his head seems to be connected to the light switch in the room.

[–]robopanda9k 0 points1 point ago

Reddit is 12.

[–]TehGoogler 0 points1 point ago

Too good

[–]Pony_Stanza 2 points3 points ago

Not enough references to ice giants and dragons.

[–]buttunz 1 point2 points ago

I never understood the whole headbanging thing.

[–]Wertyui09070 16 points17 points ago

it's the extreme side of nodding your head to the music.

[–]buttunz 4 points5 points ago

I am picturing some metal dude stopping the music, and yelling into the mic "EXTREME HEAD NODDING!!!!!"

Then the music resumes double time and the whole crowd starts extreme head nodding in unison.

[–]Jumpset 5 points6 points ago

It's just part of the music. It's a dance, if you will.

[–]GiantMTMilo -3 points-2 points ago

No I will not

[–]MediciPlagueDoctor 1 point2 points ago

Why are they playing those grandpa guitars?

[–]scarymonkey11622 0 points1 point ago

Thems for pussies and grandpas, I think you know it.

[–]El_Nacho_Cheese -4 points-3 points ago

Christians

[–]Afaflix 2 points3 points ago

no ... most likely asatru

[–]El_Nacho_Cheese 1 point2 points ago

WHAT THE DUCK, I MEANT TO GO TO /R/ Christians NOT TO TYPE IT AS A COMMENT.

[–]kirbs2001 0 points1 point ago

hah. this is a new one for me.

[–]SpaissOwl 0 points1 point ago

Oh I am so immature. LOVED IT!

[–]NHB_Hipster -2 points-1 points ago

I laughed way too hard at this!

[–]Gelus 1 point2 points ago

Now i have this song stuck in my head.

[–]Thundrthomas -1 points0 points ago

And here is your upboat.

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