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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Deacon 1201 points1202 points ago

OK, for some reason that caught me completely by surprise, and well done, there.

[–]StayFunky 326 points327 points ago

Good job Germany. Who says they don't have a sense of humour?

[–]zyrte 244 points245 points ago

that's a Russian show

[–]pipetk 104 points105 points ago

I confirm this.

[–]Iggyhopper 70 points71 points ago

I tried to speak Russian once but all I got was drunk.

[–]alreadytakenusername 25 points26 points ago

Halfway there.

[–]Deacon 903 points904 points ago

Who says they don't have a sense of humour?

Mostly Poland, Czechoslovakia, and Russia.

[–]Afa1234 109 points110 points ago

And France? But you must admit.... He had sex

[–]RobertTheSpruce 128 points129 points ago

The French love the Germans. Why do you think they let them in so fast?

[–]Ezili 201 points202 points ago

If it's a legitimate invasion the country will reject it

[–]Yereno 17 points18 points ago

It took me a few seconds, but then I realized this is the funniest thing I'll see all day.

[–]diewhitegirls 25 points26 points ago

Did you see what France was wearing?

</ohgoditsajoke>

[–]Rampant_Durandal 36 points37 points ago

Only a Maginot line?

[–]ostiarius 21 points22 points ago

Her whole Ardennes was totally exposed.

[–]pakap 10 points11 points ago

As a French guy, this made me laugh a lot. Thank you good sir.

(I'm kinda high, though).

[–]tybris2 38 points39 points ago

Returning the favour for when the Germans let in Napoleon?

[–]tomdarch 24 points25 points ago

Ah! Tres bien, mon ami!

How you say? Ah, yes, "all is forgiven!"

[–]koroshi-ya 19 points20 points ago

Czechoslovakia doesn't exist anymore, but I get your point

[–]arienh4 16 points17 points ago

The Czech Republic, Slovakia... that's two for the price of one there.

[–]BaconOverdose 187 points188 points ago

Never forget.

[–]sourcreamjunkie 211 points212 points ago

Pepperidge Farm remembers

[–]pepperidge_farms 103 points104 points ago

?

[–]WollfSK 10 points11 points ago

Looks like it's your time to shine.

[–]deathbytray 3 points4 points ago

But Pepperidge Farm ain't gonna just keep it to Pepperidge Farm's self.

[–]kenndys 8 points9 points ago

Where is Czechoslovakia?

[–]Deacon 5 points6 points ago

Okay, okay. "Didn't" have a sense of humor.

[–]pharaoh_bob 10 points11 points ago

Not sure, but they sure do make a lot of pornography.

[–]kenndys 2 points3 points ago

Yes. They do:-)

[–]BackOff_ImAScientist 7 points8 points ago

Can't forget France.

[–]UMustBeNewHere 6 points7 points ago

Who?

[–]Whyareyoufollowingme 22 points23 points ago

[–]Jake999 21 points22 points ago

[–]The_Vizier 13 points14 points ago

I'm happy it's not the one with the upvote on it.

[–]51111 43 points44 points ago

that's a russian tv channel

[–]MxM111 31 points32 points ago

The sign at the top is in Russian language.

[–]andrey_shipilov 55 points56 points ago

Russian show шесть кадров.

[–]Cooleach 24 points25 points ago

That's a Russian TV show, called "6 кадров" (6 frames)

[–]Hwistler 273 points274 points ago

This is from a popular Russian sketch show, and I have no idea how it ended up with German and Chinese subtitles.

EDIT: Thank you for correcting my inferior linguistic skills.

[–]ratsta 136 points137 points ago

FYI the "some sort of Asian" is Chinese.

Source: I live in China.

[–]Lukkie 94 points95 points ago

What's life like in some sort of Asian country?

[–]Colin_Oscar_P 100 points101 points ago

Asiany

[–]utnapistim 26 points27 points ago

Asiany

... sort of.

[–]ratsta 34 points35 points ago

For me? It's fucking awesome! I worked with computers for the last 25 years. I was an obese, depressed nerd. Since coming to China, I'm losing weight, having a ball being a teacher and attracting the attention of girls for the first time in my life. I'm the happiest I've been since I was a kid.

[–]theCharitable 56 points57 points ago

Nice try Communist Tourist Industry.

"Come to China! Get work, work good! Even lose weight!"

[–]WolfMuldoon 4 points5 points ago

So... you would say it's ok?

[–]scira 13 points14 points ago

An easy way to tell moonrunes apart is the Japanese looks kinda flowing and minimal, Chinese looks like they are packing a bunch of smaller symbols in to one character, and Korean looks like emoticons. I got this from an infographic, maybe someone else know what im talking about and can repost it.

[–]ChainsIsDown 45 points46 points ago

[–]control-z 11 points12 points ago

If my Japanese isn't too rusty, the Japanese characters read, from top to bottom:

  • Delicious tangerine.
  • Fuck you, ni**er.
  • Sad Twilight.

I could be wrong.

[–]mcaruso 4 points5 points ago

You're right. Except 「おいしいなみかん」is grammatically incorrect, it should be「おいしいみかん」, or it might be 「おいしいな、みかん」 ("Delicious isn't it? (This) tangerine.") The "Sad Twilight" thing is from a song lyric.

[–]Crescelle 2 points3 points ago

Thank you for this infographic. Now when I explain this to people and they look confused, I can show them the difference visually.

[–]SeisGurl9 3 points4 points ago

Chinese and Japanese both use one of the same set of characters. The kanji from Japanese language comes from Chinese. They then created two other sets of characters: hiragana (women actually did this one) and katakana (this is mostly for foreign words). The "flowing, minimal" one you're speaking of is hiragana. Katakana looks similar to hiragana in most cases but is very stick like.

Where ever you got that from overly simplified it to the point that it is wrong.

[–]fpeltvlfxjwkqrjt 2 points3 points ago

Maybe... just maybe, the clip was translated for inflight entertainment purpose. I see these sort of formats, all the time on a flight.

[–]Screaming_Monkey 205 points206 points ago

I just started learning German. Now I know how to say "3 condoms, please!" Sweet!

[–]Jumped_On_That 87 points88 points ago

I still don't know how to say 3 though, lol.

[–]Jill4ChrisRed 142 points143 points ago

drei. Like the word "dry"

[–]MisterWoodles 332 points333 points ago

Dry condoms? No thanks.

[–]Screaming_Monkey 255 points256 points ago

Germans are hardcore.

[–]realbutter 69 points70 points ago

They don't fuck about when it comes to sex

[–]mach-2 28 points29 points ago

Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein! Nein!

[–]lucadeaux 39 points40 points ago

Bite the pillow. I'm going in dry, mein liebe.

[–]theclaw 5 points6 points ago

Germans are fucking hardcore.

[–]White_Luigi 13 points14 points ago

Bite the hosen...

[–]q1o2 18 points19 points ago

I'm going in drei

[–]ZoFreX 52 points53 points ago

The rule is really easy in German. "ei" sounds like I, "ie" sounds like ee. Much easier than whatever the fuck is going on with English.

[–]thus-sung 31 points32 points ago

The 'I before E' rule from a Brian Regan sketch: "I before E, except after C, or when sounding like 'ay' as in 'neighbour' or 'weigh', and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say!"

[–]A_Polite_Jitty 10 points11 points ago

Many much moosen.

[–]leicanthrope 20 points21 points ago

English is the end result of a Norman soldier trying to get a Saxon barmaid into the sack. Don't expect it to make much sense.

[–]nanonanopico 6 points7 points ago

That is the best description I have ever heard.

[–]altof 9 points10 points ago

Oh come on, ghoti is not that difficult.

[–]obsilord 12 points13 points ago

[–]leahhhhh 7 points8 points ago

Erin: College Years

[–]ThatJanitor 8 points9 points ago

"Ein, zwei, drei... We do not have enough bodybags."

[–]ralf_ 18 points19 points ago

As a German I find this learning video series hilariously bad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4v4bCFGL28

"Daniel hat Probleme mit dem Rad. Then there is Sabine. Then Marco is cool."

[–]UniversityBear 10 points11 points ago

You just made my day. I had to watch these in my german class althrough high school and they were so ridiculous.

It always sounded like a shitty porno. "Sabine, mochtest du mein...Computer sehen??" sleezy voice inflection

[–]heartman74 6 points7 points ago

Hallo ficken Daniel!

Watched this the first day of German in high school. It's so bad, that it's good.

[–]diMario 4 points5 points ago

Then Marco is cool.

Not really, in my opinion.

[–]ralf_ 8 points9 points ago

It is a running gag. Click to the other episodes and he will always be described as cool. Besides, having a car and a pocket voice recorder to remember phone numbers of pretty girls is slick.

Daniel on the other hand plays games on a computer and only has a bike, which will prove later in the story line as detrimental to his poor dating attempts.

[–]diMario 4 points5 points ago

Right. Thank you for enlightening me. I guess I'll be watching some of it.

[–]TAC0001 9 points10 points ago

Make sure you know the proper hand signal for "three." Otherwise you might get shot in a bar.

[–]MEaster 64 points65 points ago

That's disgusting! Those women should be off to the side waiting, not taking up space. Don't you people know how to queue?!

[–]CribbageLeft 24 points25 points ago

You must be English. 'Ullo.

[–]_____k 9 points10 points ago

When I was in England, I kept wondering where in the hell that stereotype came from. 3am at McDonald's was closer to a mosh pit than anything resembling a line--ahem, "queue."

[–]Mortegro545 46 points47 points ago

we've all been there.

[–]poorlyexecutedjab 12 points13 points ago

Nicht ich.

[–]CompanionCubeLovesMe 83 points84 points ago

not me

[–]RuafaolGaiscioch 46 points47 points ago

Pretty sure you accidentally triple posted, but honestly, that just makes it funnier.

[–]Padmerton 12 points13 points ago

One post for each girl he's not having sex with.

[–]TheColostomyBag 4 points5 points ago

It's like he's slowly having a breakdown.

[–]CompanionCubeLovesMe 11 points12 points ago

Sorry for the triple post guys. Alien Blue does that sometimes.

[–]nilsz 10 points11 points ago

Disco ball

[–]ctrl_all_del 12 points13 points ago

nein

[–]CompanionCubeLovesMe 40 points41 points ago

not me

[–]CompanionCubeLovesMe 41 points42 points ago

not me

[–]Blackbird1013 7 points8 points ago

not me

[–]Aeokus 12 points13 points ago

not me

[–]sxcamaro 11 points12 points ago

not me

[–]devilsadvocated 93 points94 points ago

This is why orgies get expensive. I had to stop taking home a gaggle of lasses at a time because even when buying wholesale, it ads up. It's only polite to swap rubbers when swapping partners, so over the course of an evening of entertaining you could nearly go broke.

[–]nissenissenisse 55 points56 points ago

Did you know: A gaggle of lasses in flight is called a skein.

[–]devilsadvocated 13 points14 points ago

Hmm, so I can observe a state based change if I toss two of them onto the bed at once as long as both are air born at the same time... Guess I'll be going to the gym tonight after all.

[–]StuBenedict 34 points35 points ago

Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything! I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.

[–]GreenDaemon 12 points13 points ago

Planned Parenthood gives out free condoms

[–]BlackestNight21 11 points12 points ago

Condom Depot . com son.

[–]diMario 6 points7 points ago

I accidentally had three women once. I usually tell the agency to send over two for the weekend, but this one time they took along a trainee. Without consulting me, of course, so the coke lasted only until Saturday evening. Which was an inconvenience, as my source for it is a devout christian and refuses to do business on Sunday.

[–]Ainar-G 12 points13 points ago

I could never imagine to see “Шесть Кадров” on the Reddit's frontpage. Yay for the Motherland!

(In case anyone wondering, the show got not funny fairly quick and their newer sketches are predictable as fuck.)

[–]Bike_stole_my_nigga 8 points9 points ago

I know that feel, бро.

[–]thefran 3 points4 points ago

sketches are predictable as fuck

implying they ever weren't

my favourite one ever is about that janitor with cars for alarm clocks

[–]HandOfTheCEO 5 points6 points ago

Nice title OP

[–]Sniter 321 points322 points ago

it makes no sense, the number of condoms don't depend on the amount of women you are going to fuck at the same time. (I have nearly no experience in any kind of orgy, that's why i'll apologize for my false assumption)

Edit: 'It's' and more

[–]TypicalHaikuResponse 244 points245 points ago

You aren't supposed to use the same condom for different orifices, despite what happens in porn.

edit: http://www.thebody.com/content/art12636.html?getPage=2

very first sentence. It's no wonder people think condoms aren't effective.

[–]inb4deleteacc 127 points128 points ago

This. I thought people knew this... If you have a threesome you got to switch condoms when you switch girls.

[–]burf 33 points34 points ago

If I have a threesome something will go hilariously wrong in the first five minutes and switching condoms will be the last thing on anyone's mind.

edit: Removed an extra "n" from "minutes"

[–]CuilRunnings 51 points52 points ago

That's too awkward. Just get everyone tested first.

[–]TypicalHaikuResponse 52 points53 points ago

It isn't awkward at all. After you bust one with the first girl they do each other while you switch up and get your second wind. It's pretty natural.

[–]Jigsus 97 points98 points ago

It's awkward because thresomes are not sequential. You keep switching back and forth.

[–]Neil_Armschlong 138 points139 points ago

It's awkward because it will never happen to me.

[–]Jumin 46 points47 points ago

I know right? Why are these people talking as if threesomes happen often?

[–]eetsumkaus 39 points40 points ago

It's because they do. Left hand, right hand, myself. I don't see why it's so uncommon

[–]Art-Vandelay-AIA 9 points10 points ago

Reddit fantasies, goes along with hitting on the girls in gw.

[–]Enterice 20 points21 points ago

Threesomes can be anything you fuckin want it to be. Sex isn't limited to what you've seen on the internet

[–]Jigsus 14 points15 points ago

It's not a threesome if you fuck them in order. It's two sex sessions.

[–]eyecite 20 points21 points ago

tag team, back again

[–]TypicalHaikuResponse 12 points13 points ago

WHOOMP THERE IT IS

WHOOMP THERE IT IS

WHOOMP THERE IT IS

[–]I_am_God_seriously 22 points23 points ago

Exactly! I was so confused then, people seriously don't realise this? If you don't change between women you'll give them STDs but not yourself. If you don't change between orifices then you'll get infections in the vagina from the asshole.

SEX EDUCATION PEOPLE!

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points ago

Slept with a guy who tried to go back to front once... Ugh I nearly punched him in the face.

[–]burf 20 points21 points ago

As a guy, I just discovered another thing I'm glad I don't have to worry about in life.

[–]fleckes 10 points11 points ago

Sorry I'm a little slow. Does back to front mean ass to mouth? Or ass to vagina? Or maybe vagina to mouth?

Vagina to mouth seems to be the best alternative of all of them, but the most unlikely iin this scenario, as I guess back refers to ass.

Ass to vagina is a bad idea, but I can see that happening in the heat of the moment, when the guy isnt thinking straight.

But ass to mouth seems to be such a horrible idea, the guy has to be stupid to think this would fly without first asking the girl.

[–]bug_mama_G 27 points28 points ago

Ass to mouth is gross. Ass to vagina likely means horrible urinary tract infection. Neither are sexy, as a girl.

[–]MildManneredFeminist 12 points13 points ago

Lack of thoughtfulness is no excuse for trying to give someone a UTI.

[–]The_Mephit 12 points13 points ago

It's astounding how few people posting here are aware of that.

[–]DoWhile 26 points27 points ago

Uugh, it's like at Subway when they handle your money and then make your sandwich without switching gloves.

[–]jargoon 48 points49 points ago

In that case you better wash your hands in between paying for it and eating it if you're that concerned

[–]andshewas_45 14 points15 points ago

I do. Whenever I touch money I wash my hands. Also, in restaurants after I read the menu, place my order and hand the waiter/waitress the menu I wash my hands. Menus are filthy and usually greasy.

[–]jargoon 36 points37 points ago

Unless you are bubble boy you might be going a little overboard

[–]dlok86 23 points24 points ago

ive always gone by a reasonble ammount of exposure to germs is healthy, being ocd about it will just breed a weak immune system.

[–]no_fatties 4 points5 points ago

You should start eating off the floor. Imagine how strong your immune system will be then!

[–]Peastie 13 points14 points ago

Where do they have Subways where you pay before they make the sandwich? I've never seen it in that order.

[–]TrebeksUpperLIp 4 points5 points ago

Someone else ahead of you is paying, then they come over to make your foodz.

[–]Chromavita 659 points660 points ago

Maybe each woman has a different STD. Wouldn't want to mix them up.

[–]Plazm 50 points51 points ago

No, they just all have cocks.

[–]NotaMethAddict 469 points470 points ago

Gotta catch 'em all.

[–]digitalpencil 212 points213 points ago

POKEHER-AIDS

[–]ooo0ooo 101 points102 points ago

Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Herpes.... wow... they do kind of sound like Pokemon species.

[–]evereal 165 points166 points ago

HIV has evolved into AIDS!

[–]Zafara1 151 points152 points ago

Oh god.

B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B,B.

[–]thepineapplearmy 42 points43 points ago

that's what the cry of Hep B sounds like

[–]HITMAN616 11 points12 points ago

You're cool with the HIV though? Pretty sure I'd try to trade it to a friend.

[–]DrunkenAss 24 points25 points ago

Friend has evolved into nemesis.

[–]gatodo 9 points10 points ago

What's this? AIDS is evolving!

[–]jtregoat 5 points6 points ago

(sixth generation)

[–]jonbowen 17 points18 points ago

I like to just combine them all into one sexually transmitted disease known as gonoherpesyphillaids.

[–]Shardwing 32 points33 points ago

Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious.

[–]A-BIG-FAT-FONY 22 points23 points ago

Technically, 2 is enough. But there isn't enough room to write down the solution

[–]lowpass 9 points10 points ago

Condom 1 with girl A, condom 2 with girl B, condom 2 + inverted condom 1 with girl C.

Though this doesn't work if the guy has yet another STD, or (possibly) if pregnancy is also a concern.

[–]Mop 7 points8 points ago

  • 1
  • 1 + 2
  • 1 + inverted 2

[–]Mop 9 points10 points ago

Sorry, I edited it, thinking it would be nicer this way, but it also made it wrong. I meant:

  • 1 + 2
  • 1
  • 1 + inverted 2

[–]sordfysh 4 points5 points ago

theoretically very clever. I like it. Practically, though, I'd be afraid of latex on latex tearing.

I feel like if you can reason your way out of a third condom in this way, you probably have the money to just pay for the third one.

[–]0xFFE3 24 points25 points ago

1) As already addressed by others, yes it does

2) Female condoms are the best type of condom for this situation, as you don't need to switch condoms everytime the male switches partners.

[–]dontwantablowjob 13 points14 points ago

Doesn't that just reverse the problem when there is more than one guy in the orgy?

[–]BaconCat 42 points43 points ago

What exactly is the condom protocol for an orgy?

[–]remaker12 128 points129 points ago

Oh man, I can't wait to be in an orgy, and everyone is all like "Does anyone know how many condoms we're supposed to use?" and I'll say "YES! I DO KNOW. I'VE PREPARED FOR THIS VERY MOMENT! Someone on Reddit told me...."

[–]AxeManActual 32 points33 points ago

Exactly why you will never be invited to an orgy. Maybe a Reddit meetup, but why would you ever bring condoms to one of those???

[–]jlettuce07 64 points65 points ago

Would you REALLY wanna raw dog it at a Reddit meetup?

[–]xwexcollidex 18 points19 points ago

Fucking gross. Hahahaha

[–]IAmAQuantumMechanic 23 points24 points ago

To make funny balloon animals?

[–]OGbennyC 11 points12 points ago

To make toys for cats?

[–]Keljhan 14 points15 points ago

To do that thing with the diet coke and mentos?

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

shudder

[–]phis6 93 points94 points ago

This I can answer: 1 per person per orgasm/ejaculation

Towels/wet naps are provided by the host or orgy organizer.

No swapping between partners without cleanup.

Anyone undergoing current menstruation is forbidden from the orgy due to health reasons

Anyone bringing a guest must vouch for said guests behaviour

Source: I helped run a yahoo orgy group for 3 years.

[–]frazier6567 22 points23 points ago

Holy shit haha, really?

[–]antipopular 13 points14 points ago

Please do an AMA

[–]phis6 97 points98 points ago

No

[–]JoseFernandes 2 points3 points ago

Source: I helped run a yahoo orgy group for 3 years.

That's 2000 as fuck.

[–]OlderThanGif 16 points17 points ago

There is a math problem based on it. Note that even though it's called the "condom problem", it would not be wise to implement in the real world because it depends on wearing two condoms at once, which increases the chances of tearing.

[–]jlettuce07 14 points15 points ago

So what you're saying is wear 3 so you have one left when the other 2 rip? BRILLIANT.

[–]psychroclasm 18 points19 points ago

You're supposed to get a new one every time you change partners. You can't just fuck girl A for five minutes, then B for five, and then put the first condom back on. Fucking disgusting.

[–]El_Dumfuco 5 points6 points ago

BYOC

[–]suburbanite 4 points5 points ago

1 condom/person/orifice

1 dude, 1+x ladies and 1 condom means that the dude had safe sex, and the ladies all had unprotected sex with eachother.

Great way to never ever be invited back to an orgy.

[–]Sugreev2001 3 points4 points ago

Now that you mention it...

[–]kwood09[!] 4 points5 points ago

It's like when the guy making your sandwich at Subway touches money with his gloves on and then touches more food. There's no point to it if you're just gonna cross contaminate everything.

[–]Yawehg 10 points11 points ago

Yes it does. If you're having sex with multiple partners it is safe and courteous to switch condoms between people. If you have extensive knowledge of all their histories maybe you don't have to, but it's always to safer choice.

[–]skillphiliac 3 points4 points ago

Who says he is having them all at the same time?

[–]fucking_leverpostej 2 points3 points ago

it's makes no sense

- Skwisgaar Skwigelf.

[–]I_am_God_seriously 4 points5 points ago

Eh? Why not? I mean unless you're gonna do anal with at least one girl but you should use different condoms for different women anyway.

[–]Abscurat 14 points15 points ago

Russian show with German-Japanese subtitles, Now I've seen everything.

[–]patefoisgras 2 points3 points ago

It's Chinese. Japanese subtitle most likely has hiragana which are plain, curvy, swiggly, cute characters for grammatical purposes.

あいうえお

[–]dja0794 2 points3 points ago

And Katakana is easy to recognized because it always looks so happy to see you.

シツヅジソンゾノ

[–]mattjeevas 4 points5 points ago

Yeah, that's kind of old russian (or not russian, idk) joke. This show (6 frames) just represent it.

[–]peifferu 12 points13 points ago

4 years of high school German finally paid off!

[–]6ft7 38 points39 points ago

I haven't studied a minute of German and was still able to deduce what "Kondome" meant.

[–]Srnokey_Mc_Pot 19 points20 points ago

Scheisse bin ich stolz auf dich.

[–]somsaadan 13 points14 points ago

23 years of speaking another germanic language finally paid off

[–]Anaklusmos 7 points8 points ago

You mean English?

[–]chaklong 3 points4 points ago

Google translate to the rescue!

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

This is from Russian comedy show which I personally find not really funny.

[–]Untoward_Lettuce 10 points11 points ago

Seems kind of like a slower Benny Hill. Just a step above Ow My Balls.

[–]poo_22 3 points4 points ago

Title ruined it for me. It was basically the punchline.

[–]Trinitykill 4 points5 points ago

TIL Kondome is German for Rohypnol.

[–]TehGrav 4 points5 points ago

Plot twist, two of the women have a penis, only one condom is for him.

[–]eyehate 5 points6 points ago

Goddamn.

That was a clever headline.

Well played, good sir!