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1467
1468

Why I downvote all posts that say "my girlfriend" (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by girafewithanerection

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[–]lydocia 29 points30 points ago

We found you in the park throwing rocks at old couples, Ted.

[–]Dienomite 15 points16 points ago

WHY SHOULD THEY BE HAPPY?

[–]twunger 84 points85 points ago

I used to do this too, but then I got Reddit Enhancement Suite and now I just filter the words girlfriend,boyfriend,husband,wife,and love.

[–]RzK 17 points18 points ago

But then how did you find this post?

[–]twunger 4 points5 points ago

I was using a different browser at the time that didn't have RES installed >_> I guess there's the flaw in my solution.

[–]RzK 5 points6 points ago

Question. Can I filter out sentences/phrases? things like "how I feel", "what does reddit think", "cake day"... because that would be very useful in removing all evil in reddit

[–]senichi 1 point2 points ago

Yep

[–]RzK 0 points1 point ago

Sold!

[–]takoma 1 point2 points ago

I use RES filters at home, but not work, so your reasoning is valid.

[–]paraprosDOPEan 1 point2 points ago

this thread is the most depressing thing i've seen all day. I hope you all find happiness somewhere.

[–]lionkingme 20 points21 points ago

I'll love you!

[–]6times9is42 26 points27 points ago

That sounded vaguely threatening inside my head.

[–]Late_Night_Grumbler 9 points10 points ago

I'll love you!

[–]TheDoctorAndTardis 2 points3 points ago

That's less vaguely threatening and more directly threatening.

[–]Solkre 2 points3 points ago

I'll you?

[–]Picklwarrior 2 points3 points ago

...How do you do that?

I'm gonna filter /r/starcraft SO hard

[–]senichi 0 points1 point ago

If you have Reddit Enhancement Suite, you can click the [RES] button at the top right on the bar where your username is, click on "configure module" and then choose filteReddit.

Alternatively, depending on what version you have, it doesn't say [RES] at the top. Instead it's a little picture of a gear, then you click on "settings console" and then Filters.

[–]123comeonBaby 0 points1 point ago

Best filteReddit keyword so far (at work): "my".
Somehow removes the 'facebookness' from my reddit frontpage.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

Are you really that much of a bitter cunt? feelsbadforyouman

[–]Basbhat 0 points1 point ago

well really how needy is it to come on the internet just to go. "HEY EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME I HAVE A GIRRRRRLFRIEND!!!!!!"

I mean honestly, that comes off as more pathetic than hiding the stupid shit people in relationships do, you know who thinks that vomit inducing behavior is cool. other people who are just so stoked on being in a relationship, doesn't matter who with,

[–]cactuar44 0 points1 point ago

Nobody says THAT. Get over the references. Buy a cat or something.

[–]Basbhat 1 point2 points ago

That's the purpose every "my girlfriend" post serves

[–]cactuar44 0 points1 point ago

Every single one? So absolutely no one on here has a girlfriend? More than a guesstimated 1.5 million men on here? All single? Forever alone? That's heart wrenching.

EDIT: Sorry I am kind of coming off rude to you. I just don't get why people always have to get so angry at the mention of someone being in a relationship. My bad.

[–]Basbhat 2 points3 points ago

Uhh I didn't say that.

I think you're confused.

I just stated what the manning is behind the post. I didn't even begin to speculate as to whether the girlfriend is fictional or not.

I have to say though. Announcing a fake girlfriend seems even more pathetic.

And I don't get angry at the mention of a relationship. But let's be honest people in relations rarely just mention. It's usually involved in a story or they have to tell you everything about the person they're dating. Or any number of things. Me personally, couldn't care less who you're fucking.

[–]lisabadcat -2 points-1 points ago

I filter 'fb' and 'facebook' and downvote anything that slips through.

[–]guyver_dio 32 points33 points ago

Sometimes when I see people at work with a big smile on their face, I want to punch them in the mouth and watch the happiness run out their eyes.

[–]vacerious 2 points3 points ago

We should hang out.

[–]Answer_The_Question 1 point2 points ago

Brb putting this on facebook.

[–]CrazyBastard 3 points4 points ago

sSoon we'll see it on reddit again as "Finally got some facebook le gold on my news feed!"

[–]noixeZ 39 points40 points ago

So did you downvote your own post

[–]RzK 19 points20 points ago

I do because 84.32% of the time they dont actually have a girlfriend but put that in their title so soft hearted people will upvote them

[–]schiller 9 points10 points ago

Or to brag... You know... I have a GIRLFRIEND and YOU DON'T! I'm so much cooler than everybody else! (even if I don't actually have a girlfriend).

[–]CrisisOfConsonant 8 points9 points ago

Having a girlfriend makes you cool?

I always thought the forever alone thing about Reddit was kind of an in-joke. If it's not this next statement will sound harsh, but lots of losers have girlfriends. Slightly over half the population is female so it's not like they're rare.

I mean hell if this guy can have a girlfriend I assume anybody can.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Having a girlfriend makes you cool?

In high school...

[–]schiller 1 point2 points ago

Yes but the perceived idea about the redditors is that they don't have girlfriends and are forever alone. Don't know how true that is in reality but if you are a redditor AND have a girlfriend... I mean... It's an ideal most want to achieve but so hard to get to :)

That's how I think things are. I might be wrong of course.

[–]mejebus 1 point2 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/deEC2.png

[–]cactuar44 -1 points0 points ago

And 90% of all statistics are made up on the spot, right?

[–]GWARgasm 3 points4 points ago

You imagine that every "girlfriend" they write about is actually attractive.

[–]PropsNPowder 5 points6 points ago

Don't worry, they aren't.

[–]JustMadeYouYawn 4 points5 points ago

If it helps, some people are completely miserable in their relationships!

[–]Squaldor 3 points4 points ago

I heard it in the voice of Ted.

Poor sad old Ted.

[–]Noncohesive 2 points3 points ago

Don't Worry He Is Happy Now.

[–]Yatagasaru 2 points3 points ago

I feel you, bro. I'm still bummed out over a break-up that happened last week.

[–]Babelfish14 0 points1 point ago

Well, it seems I need to hand in my man-card, then.

[–]Yatagasaru 1 point2 points ago

It was a delayed reaction lol. At first I was like "Awesome! More time for me!" But then I was like, "Fuck, I'm alone now."

[–]Babelfish14 0 points1 point ago

Well I wish you a speedy recovery. Hopefully faster than me. Almost two months now, and I still feel like crap.

[–]Yatagasaru 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit, dude. I've never been that bummed over a girl. Come here and let's have a non-gay bro hug.

[–]Babelfish14 0 points1 point ago

THANKS BRO. Yeah, I'm a pathetic excuse for a male and probably Histrionic.

[–]Yatagasaru 1 point2 points ago

Don't beat yourself up, man. Girls dig a guy who's confident, but not so confident that he becomes an asshole. Also, don't seek out attention like it's the Holy Grail, because doing something like that will only end in disaster.

[–]Babelfish14 0 points1 point ago

I appreciate your advice, but I always have to question whether what people say really applies to my situation. She's pretty different about this, and we tend to be open about the subject. But thanks.

Yeah, she almost immediately started going out with my best friend after that, by the way.

[–]Yatagasaru 0 points1 point ago

Oh yeah, I know that feeling too. Chick dumped me and dated some asshole. Granted, he wasn't my friend, but just the fact that she started dating this guy the same week she dumped me.

Another thing you have to remember is not to let the fact that your friend is now dating your ex bother you. My best friend dated a girl he knew I liked and I got really jealous. I wanted to deck that fucker as soon as soon I found out. But I didn't because I knew that would accomplish nothing, possibly ruin my chances of getting with her if they broke up (which did happen), and effectively kill my friendship between me and my friend. Don't let a girl ruin your friendship.

[–]IpyriteStuff 7 points8 points ago

Consider yourself lucky. You could be me, that just started going out with your best friend of 7 years, only to find out that I'm apparently a failure, and a fuck up...

[–]Lots42 3 points4 points ago

Dump her.

[–]youhavemystaplers 4 points5 points ago

hugs from someone else that feels like a failure and a fuckup.

[–]IpyriteStuff 0 points1 point ago

The worst part is I'm learning all of this, from her, in real time... I have never felt more depressed than I do now.

[–]robwinnfield 2 points3 points ago

Sooo... why the hell are you dating this person that makes you feel like shit about yourself?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

What if they're actually a shitty person?

[–]youhavemystaplers 2 points3 points ago

If you don't mind me asking, why is she making you feel this way? If you've been friends for several years... she should be supporting you. Not bringing you down. You don't get together with someone just to point out all their flaws. I'm sorry this is happening to you :(.

[–]pasmeme 0 points1 point ago

is she giving you a reality check or is she bring you down? Maybe she can't handle the idea of failing alone.

[–]dreamingawake09 2 points3 points ago

Drop that person and move on. You don't need such negative crap in your life.

[–]SirRosie 0 points1 point ago

Sounds toxic. End that shit.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Don't worry, they're lying ;)

[–]Novaculite 1 point2 points ago

If it makes you feel any better, a good portion of couples are actually unhappy with their relationships.

[–]Kwhit10 3 points4 points ago

You should probably downvote them because they're most likely lying.

[–]SpaceMonkeysInSpace 0 points1 point ago

Why do you say that?

[–]claudesoph 0 points1 point ago

That's actually really poetic.

[–]digitalinfidel 0 points1 point ago

Chris?

[–]INBluth 1 point2 points ago

hells ya

[–]ShaxAjax 1 point2 points ago

This is literally the same thing as confession bear, but way more interesting.

[–]phattsao 0 points1 point ago

Agreed

[–]Dienomite 1 point2 points ago

I read this in Ted's voice.

[–]Dachshuuund -1 points0 points ago

Hey, I fucking hate happy people too, but as soon as you get over this attitude, you're way more likely to find a girlfriend. Especially one that isn't just as desperate.

[–]derpleherps 0 points1 point ago

i don't do it for that reason, i just don't believe they have one

[–]-RdV- 0 points1 point ago

Hahaha... happy.

[–]TheBrokenWorld 0 points1 point ago

Depends on the girlfriend, sometimes it's pure HELL.

[–]hee_hee_shabutie 0 points1 point ago

They're not happy. They're lying.

[–]Kingy5 0 points1 point ago

I know how you feel (forever alone face)

[–]Born-dead 0 points1 point ago

Nap time, Ted.

[–]Throwawaychica 0 points1 point ago

I'm in a loving relationship and I do this too!

[–]jevmorgan 0 points1 point ago

Most people seem to downvote for girlfriends or wives, but I get plenty of upvotes for "fiancee"

So maybe I should postpone my wedding indefinitely for more karma?!?!

[–]Snap65 0 points1 point ago

Wedding day dead fiancee. Ultimate Karma Unlocked!

[–]ravelle -1 points0 points ago

To make you feel any better, most of them mean " my mother"

[–]FecalFunBunny 0 points1 point ago

Don't worry, pick the wrong woman to be your girlfriend, and you will never be happy again.

And then you start to share the suffering.

[–]demonstrable_user 0 points1 point ago

Is that a sad, suited James Taylor?

[–]t0talimm0rtalz 0 points1 point ago

If you think having a girlfriend is equal to happiness, you got the wrong idea buddy. Its all give and take. Half happiness and half craziness. The regular sex is nice, but sometimes not worth the emotional moodswings!

[–]rm01 0 points1 point ago

Don't be fooled my friend, girlfriend/boyfriend land is never all roses. In fact I'd wager most couples would be jealous of your single status for as many days you're jealous of our relationship.

[–]Atheleus 0 points1 point ago

What will really blow your mind later on (once you find a girlfriend of your own) is that they most likely are not happy. Behind every beautiful woman stands a man who is sick of her shiznit.

[–]s34nsm411 1 point2 points ago

I dont know about you guys but I am far happier when I am single than when I am dating

-you can flirt guilt free and sleep with whoever

-you dont have to spend way too much money on dinners/presents

-you dont have to constantly call and check in with somebody every freaking morning/night

-you dont have to consult someone else on every decision you make

-you never have to talk on the phone in "boyfriend voice"

-eventually one of you is going to cheat or something and cause a heartbreaker

the only benefit if you ARE dating is getting constant gash... but even then is it really worth it? just fap on it and youll realize you were a fool for thinking dating was a good idea

[–]Babelfish14 1 point2 points ago

With all due respect, it's not always like that.

-Some have a complete inability to flirt due to severe cases of awkward, forget about SLEEPING with someone...

-Sometimes you get lucky and this isn't expected.

-Again, not always expected.

-Uh...

-Again, not always expected.

-Can't argue with that...

However, it seems my bias has caused myself to contemplate only underage relations... whatever. I don't really know why I bothered to write this. Immer mit der ruhe, man.

[–]RofyM 1 point2 points ago

You just explained me.

[–]esPhys 1 point2 points ago

um, sounds like you've had a lot of REALLY superficial relationships based on you acting like somebody else just to get pussy.

[–]tatastitties 0 points1 point ago

You assume that they're happy. ;)

[–]rottingshadow 0 points1 point ago

Reading this makes me wanna call my sexy girlfriend and tell her I'm gonna marry that beautiful woman that I fucking love so much that we'll have childre-

Wait...I don't have one...

Imgur

[–]minx714 0 points1 point ago

Who says they're happy?

[–]sleepyjon0 0 points1 point ago

Did you down vote yourself for this one?

[–]F5_supermonkey 0 points1 point ago

pro tip: a vast majority of link titles have made up shit in them.

[–]Meelbell 0 points1 point ago

Downvoted you because, why should you be happy?

[–]Gyaruson 0 points1 point ago

Downvoted. I was following your own rules.

[–]SinCity-Goodfella 2 points3 points ago

Take some comfort in the fact that in at least 80% of normal daily routine, they are the furthest thing from happy.

Then again, If you are the type to take pleasure in other peoples misery, then you don't seem so deserving of a supportive life partner, now do you?!

[–]stedanko09 -1 points0 points ago

All the upvotes: virgins, virgins everywhere..

[–]Kubaker1 1 point2 points ago

Teenagers, teenagers, everywhere....

[–]stedanko09 0 points1 point ago

which, of course, leads to: needs to go through more stages of development and/or education, needs to go through more stages of development and/or education everywhere...

[–]SleeptBrit -4 points-3 points ago

Wow, that's pretty pathetic.

[–]n1i2e3 -2 points-1 points ago

Jokes aside, it is extremly dangerous and terrible thing to actually think.

[–]lineocar 0 points1 point ago

aww ted :(

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

Go read his relevant section in Wikipedia. I believe you will smile.

I'd link to it but said section is all weird and shit.

[–]555metalhead 0 points1 point ago

I fail to see how having a girlfriend will make you happy. Having an awesome girlfriend might, but how often does that happen? If I were single my pockets would jingle.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

It happened once to me.

[–]Joco151515 0 points1 point ago

I think even a mediocre (not horrible) gf would make me pretty damn happy.

[–]danielvutran 0 points1 point ago

i do it cuz they're fuckin fags. also "lady friend" is annoying as hell too. Just call them friend gdamnit.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

I call them 'Masturbation fantasies'.

Hell, they don't mind.

[–]Kryten_2X4B_523P 0 points1 point ago

They're not. They have girlfriends.

[–]sqazm -5 points-4 points ago

Because their happiness doesn't detract from yours.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]mostlybran 1 point2 points ago

Sounds like you have a shitty girlfriend

[–]shake42 0 points1 point ago

No, but once you start living with a woman it happens. To everyone.

[–]mostlybran 0 points1 point ago

Having lived with my girlfriend for over a year, my comment still stands.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

Don't fuck crazy, kids.

[–]Tovora -2 points-1 points ago

My girlfriend and I don't appreciate your downvotes.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ThymineC 11 points12 points ago

My girlfriend and I do not approve.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Glassle 1 point2 points ago

i'm sending that hurr right back at you.

[–]yamsx1 -2 points-1 points ago

Have you considered that this type of thinking is what keeps people like you lonely? It's such an unattractive mindset. Don't be toxic and pathetic.

Now validate my point with your downvotes.

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