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all 133 comments

[–]ninjames 33 points34 points ago

Well thanks for the reminder that it's 5 days away! Woohoo

[–]potatotickle 28 points29 points ago

I made a deal with myself when I decided to stay at my terrible job. A deal that I thought might just make things more bearable or, at least, would distract me from how miserable my job made me.

I promised myself that every day when I got home from work, I would download as much deviant porn as I could find in an hour. Things like girls taking baseball bats in their asses (Amber Rayne comes to mind) or guys throatfucking girls until they puke (Facial Abuse being a prime example). Things that most people would find disgusting or, at least, not erotic at all.

I'd download these porn scenes. And I'd force myself to watch them all. Now, at first, it didn't do anything for me at all. But after a few weeks of this, that giant gaping butthole or the tears streaming down some poor girl's face as she tries to keep from spewing again got me pretty hard. And eventually, regular porn did nothing for me.

I fast-tracked my way into sexual deviance. Hardcore BDSM came next. Particular niches like water bondage (Sasha Grey's scene being a favorite) became appealing. Until this promise I made myself was no longer a commitment, but an obsession. I had to find the next best thing. What else could be done to a woman to humiliate her entirely?

So now I have a dark secret. I'm a giant sexual deviant. And all I can think about when I see an attractive woman at work is the terrible, disturbing things I want to do to her.

So, work days aren't all that bad anymore.

[–]Carbontea 37 points38 points ago

That escalated at a reasonable pace.

[–]DonkeyDongRacing 6 points7 points ago

Quite. After climbing the first step, it was a wheelchair ramp all the way up.

[–]carson44603 3 points4 points ago

do me a favor and don't go on any dates any time soon...

[–]fishstandsup 5 points6 points ago

...

[–]bluegoon 1 point2 points ago

The greatest comment of 2012, thanks man, I just laughed my ass off.

[–]ninjames -1 points0 points ago

Thank you for that very articulate description of your porn viewing habits.

I do the same except I subscribe to a streaming site... actually who am I kidding? I'm subscribed to multiple sites.

[–]CoyoteStark 161 points162 points ago

Goddamn that was a quick repost. It hasn't even been a day!

[–]whitefoot 61 points62 points ago

And it's Monday now. There should be a rule that you can't make Friday work jokes on Mondays.

[–]goodadvice00 13 points14 points ago

aaaaand I hate this gif cause i really wanna know what the kid is running to, but I will never know

[–]whitefoot 29 points30 points ago

3rd base apparently. Why waste your time running the long way around first and second. This kid is going to go far.

[–]goodadvice00 4 points5 points ago

baseball savant...screw hitting the ball, drop the bat, straight to third, then back to home

[–]mimicthefrench 1 point2 points ago

He's playing cricket.

[–]looseleafer 0 points1 point ago

the video doesnt show it either

[–]flying_purple_hippos 1 point2 points ago

Maybe the person who came up behind the guy pitching?

[–]Andrewm319 0 points1 point ago

I'm thinking it's the woman in the top right corner. As soon as she comes into sight the kid drops the bat, and I might just be convincing myself, but it seems like she begins turning towards him.

[–]mysticrudnin 1 point2 points ago

I'm certain he thinks he hit the ball and then is doing what you do after that: run.

It so happens that he's running the wrong way, but that's a minor detail.

[–]specialk16 1 point2 points ago

Ugh, exactly what I was thinking.... it's fucking Monday you douche.

[–]genericwit 0 points1 point ago

It is totally not ok to reference what the end of the work day on Friday is like before Wednesday.

[–]TerryArchi -1 points0 points ago

Oh c'mon, it was a funny title, well unless he also reposted the title.

[–]triceratopses 0 points1 point ago

I haven't even gone to sleep yet.

[–]atwoslottoaster -1 points0 points ago

I think he was just trying to be funny about a current post, instead of just putting it in the comments. Or crossposting to /r/HIFW

[–]anti_brony_bot -3 points-2 points ago

Die brony die

[–]CoyoteStark 0 points1 point ago

Thank you for taking the time to post an asinine retort like that. Ad hominem attacks make everyone look good and definitely wins you friends.

[–]Nighthawk403 28 points29 points ago

More like this.

[–]Nightwing11 13 points14 points ago

The fluff! Its...Its so fluffy.

[–]Olimar 13 points14 points ago

[–]Hero_of_Hyrule 6 points7 points ago

What the fuck happened here?

[–]SHITBEARDTHEPIRATE 5 points6 points ago

the wonders of ADD

[–]Acompsia 8 points9 points ago

Kid ran to 3rd instead of 1st.

[–]snap_wilson 0 points1 point ago

The pitcher did a three-base balk. That's why the runner dropped the bat and ran to third. Clearly you don't know anything about cricket.

[–]Helveticatronic 22 points23 points ago

When the clock hits 5pm on Friday and I'm in the middle of work, I scream "yabba dabba doo" and slide off my dinosaur.

[–]2hot2sexy4u 4 points5 points ago

at least you changed the title. still, downvote for you

[–]rockemsockemrobot 3 points4 points ago

Everybody watch the guy throwing the ball.

Just keep watching him.

[–]legitimategrapes 8 points9 points ago

That kid may not be able to tell time, but she still knows when it's fuck this shit o'clock

[–]powerchicken 5 points6 points ago

Why the fuck is this on the frontpage TWICE ?!?! Are you this fucking desperate for karma?

[–]textbandit 2 points3 points ago

thanks i needed that this monday

[–]Jizzle11 2 points3 points ago

I'm a CPA, when the clock hits 5, my day is 2/3 over.

[–]TigerMeltz 3 points4 points ago

come to the private sector! YOU'LL have so much room for activities!

[–]Jizzle11 0 points1 point ago

Haha soon.. putting in my dues in public first

[–]hispanica316 0 points1 point ago

Dammit man don't scare me I'm a junior studying accounting.

[–]Jizzle11 0 points1 point ago

haha if you start in public, be prepared

[–]beefinbed 2 points3 points ago

Seriously can we make it a rule to not talk about friday when it's only monday. fuck.

[–]AidanSmeaton -1 points0 points ago

It looks like the guy is throwing the man in the background.

[–]MiamiFootball 0 points1 point ago

It's great that the kid runs to the left

[–]nOrthSC 1 point2 points ago

He has the athletic sense of a Miami football player.

[–]rasmus9311 0 points1 point ago

I like the video more, the sound when the bat hits the ground makes it all.

[–]died1209 1 point2 points ago

Seen the video, found it funny, nothing more. Saw your title with the gif, made it so much better. Cheers for that

[–]einbierbitte 0 points1 point ago

We have a loud, annoying buzzer that sounds at break and quitting time. It wasn't in use when I started, then a couple of months later, they hooked it up. Worst decision they could've made. Now, as soon as that buzzer sounds, I drop everything in my hands and go straight to the time clock. My company doesn't understand the concept of "morale in the workplace". This is just one of the quick, tame stories from my job. That place is a train wreck that I will ride out till the end, which is in sight.

[–]bridgePyro 1 point2 points ago

When the clock hits 4:57pm on Mon-, Tues-, Wednes-, Thurs-, Friday in the middle of wasting the final 30min of the work day on reddit

FTFY

[–]Sunnyp81 0 points1 point ago

For those who missed the original posting... Thanks. It was jokes!!

[–]QuaereVerumm 0 points1 point ago

5:00? Fuck that, I'm gone at like 3:30 no matter what. My building is a complete ghost town on Fridays. A lot of people can and do work from home, so it's especially bad on Fridays.

[–]drifter_ 1 point2 points ago

Apparently everyone in here has a case of the Mondays

[–]Lurking_Grue 1 point2 points ago

[–]HIFW_GIFs_React_ 1 point2 points ago

[–]iJustnoreason 0 points1 point ago

Yabadaba dooo.... Flinstones...

[–]sneezylee 0 points1 point ago

So you drop your shit early and run the wrong way?

[–]nineteensixtyseven 0 points1 point ago

Sometimes I get up so fast my charge continues to spin....

[–]kohlio 0 points1 point ago

lol if only i got out at 5.

[–]arghnard 0 points1 point ago

This gif summarizes my experiences with ADHD as a child.

[–]cfw34683 0 points1 point ago

Margarita time!!!

[–]Omnipotent_Hamster 0 points1 point ago

We're eventually gonna need a novelty account of someone with a stopwatch timing these reposts.

[–]SKREAM 0 points1 point ago

Sometimes I just unplug my computer by the power.

NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE

[–]Constable_CrazyTubes -1 points0 points ago

I just upvoted this to 1337. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night.

[–]kba334 1 point2 points ago

Couldn't Reddit scan posts submitted (think karmadecay.com) and if said image/video/link is a repost then put a little tag on it to indicate that it is. I think it would stimulate OC but at the same time it doesn't ban reposts because they do fill a purpose

[–]crj123082 0 points1 point ago

Even though it's a repost, I'm just glad it wasn't another one of these.

[–]Notices_Scarfs 0 points1 point ago

Or my dog when i throw him the frisbee.

[–]scaught89 0 points1 point ago

I have no idea what my office is like at 5:00 on a Friday, I never stick around long enough to see it.

[–]Wimachtendink 0 points1 point ago

i've spent too much time on /r/wtf i was trying to figure out what chopped her arm off

[–]NoThisIsGavin -1 points0 points ago

When did Reddit turn into #whatshouldwecallme?

[–]xBeefyy 1 point2 points ago

Downvote the repost!!!

[–]d4lm3t 0 points1 point ago

5pm? I do this at 1 pm Thanks to European work hours (38.5 hrs/week). :D

[–]Moikle 0 points1 point ago

There are people like this at my work, and I have to finish up what they are doing...

[–]BrockAtWork 0 points1 point ago

I wish I worked in a part of the country that leaving at 5 pm is acceptable. NYC'd

[–]Mmmm_WhiteCastles 0 points1 point ago

Must be a public employee.

[–]theloz 0 points1 point ago

I saw those red pixels and thought the kid's arm fell off.

[–]Cyberlegend 0 points1 point ago

Surely you wouldn't be in the middle if you where just about to finish?

[–]TallianStallion 1 point2 points ago

damn repost

[–]nigalau5 0 points1 point ago

If you look at the guy throwing the ball and the girl walking behind him it looks like he is picking her up and throwing her.

[–]donagan 0 points1 point ago

We call that "Whistle-bit." Don't get whistle-bit.

[–]oliverMcMayonnaise 0 points1 point ago

As a business owner, you're the employee I'm looking for!

[–]Iamadinocopter 1 point2 points ago

dat repost

[–]congratsyoucanread 1 point2 points ago

I hate looking at posts like this on a Monday morning ಠ_ಠ

[–]zublits 2 points3 points ago

It's thanksgiving in Canada. I'm sitting in my undies.

[–]Poup -1 points0 points ago

Repost or not, this gif is too short to enjoy. :/

[–]dirtydiana 0 points1 point ago

the youtube video was 2 seconds long...

[–]forcedobilisk -2 points-1 points ago

Thanks for talking about Friday on Monday.

Also, thanks for reposting this less than 12 hours of it making the front page. Rawtashk, why are you such a shameless, stupid piece of shit?

[–]Carlzon -3 points-2 points ago

The dad is throwing away the man in the background!