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all 70 comments

[–]365android 28 points29 points ago

The ninja turtles made it look so easy.

[–]Squalor- 20 points21 points ago

The "ninja" and "mutant" parts kind of helped with that.

[–]arisasdf 8 points9 points ago

Also, teenagers are completely impervious to everything.

[–]lurkerwife 13 points14 points ago

Oh, you mean The Turtleman?

[–]CorporateImperialism 11 points12 points ago

LIVE ACTION!

[–]kastamonu34 5 points6 points ago

Ye ye ye, ye!

[–]22c 1 point2 points ago

Payment: $23 and upvotes for all.

[–]Nine_Tails 1 point2 points ago

From my homestate...yaaaaay...

[–]lurkerwife 0 points1 point ago

Try being from your home COUNTY. That's right, he's even from the same side of the county that I'm from.

[–]Im_not_bob 9 points10 points ago

... don't worry, I'll catch up with him when he stops to take a nap.

[–]StoryGopher 6 points7 points ago

Then he;ll say "Slow and steady wins the race, bitch." And punch him in the face.

[–]Helveticatronic 5 points6 points ago

Ta-ta, Turtleman.

[–]AustRankin 7 points8 points ago

Put that cookie down! Now!

[–]Helveticatronic 3 points4 points ago

Dasherdancerprancervixencometcupiddonnerblitzen! I'm having fun now, bye!"

[–]AustRankin 4 points5 points ago

Don't you forget, you're my number one customer!

[–]Helveticatronic 2 points3 points ago

I bought little Johnnie a Turbo Man months ago. It's nestled safely under our tree. Under our tree. Under our tree.

[–]AustRankin 1 point2 points ago

Its the Grinch! Scatter!

[–]Scotty_Thomas 1 point2 points ago

Came here for this. Wasn't disappointed,

[–]Raniz 12 points13 points ago

[–]A-BIG-FAT-FONY 5 points6 points ago

[–]CrossCheckPanda 5 points6 points ago

Thought that as a very risky click until I realized it was C&H

[–]endearingnoises 5 points6 points ago

The stick of dynamite next to the trash can with the burning fuse should be addressed sooner than later.

[–]Rainb0wcrash99 5 points6 points ago

The artist likes to hide the stick of dynamite , an eye, a pie slice,a bird , the letters KZ and a bunny in his strips

[–]RyuSythe 2 points3 points ago

Worst ever? False, he is merely letting him get ahead so that he can deploy a blue turtle shell!

[–]Ninjatertl 2 points3 points ago

He might be the worst, but this guy is the most horrifying.

[–]Squalor- 2 points3 points ago

Aquaman: Why don't you steal something from over here by the bay? Huh? I dare you.

[–]Skepsis93 2 points3 points ago

Superuseless Superpowers. My personal favorite is "The ability to turn into a brick wall, forever."

[–]watchesarecool42 1 point2 points ago

Middle-aged mutant ninja turtles.

[–]CpnKangaroo 1 point2 points ago

This looks like a job for captain hare!

Edit* visual approximation

[–]spamato 1 point2 points ago

Just wait for the retcon.

[–]i_got_this 0 points1 point ago

Why did I read that comic in Adam West's voice?

[–]formula420 1 point2 points ago

Live action!!

[–]inthenickoftime4 1 point2 points ago

ye-ye-ye-ye-ye

[–]MJZMan 0 points1 point ago

He's slowly getting away...

[–]mfter 0 points1 point ago

Sooo, what's up with the blueberry pie in the corner?

[–]dogfacedboy420 0 points1 point ago

Turtle turtle.

[–]corey561 0 points1 point ago

I think the worst is aqua-man. What's he going to do if you're on the beach and somebody robs you. He can't help you because it's out of the water.

[–]Zammin 0 points1 point ago

Well, he can throw a car at the robber. Because he's Aquaman, and part of that includes the ability to survive at the bottom of the ocean, giving him muscles and durability like you wouldn't believe. And if the robber is RIGHT next to the surf, he can beach a whale on them. And then push the whale back into the water.

[–]njraymondi 0 points1 point ago

He'll catch him slowly and steadily

[–]rghd 0 points1 point ago

These comments read like Youtube comments.

[–]Persipaani 0 points1 point ago

He may be the worst but at least I'm sure that he can catch Mr. Rabbit the thief eventually.

[–]therumbox 0 points1 point ago

Guys, this guy actually exists but he's a villain and he kicks the Flash's ass a few times before The Flash saves the day in the end.

He's super slow and he does stuff like steal slow things like diamonds and orchids that take 100 years to bloom and stuff. It's crazy.

[–]ridethespiral987 1 point2 points ago

Still better than Aquaman

[–]papashawnsky 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of rejected Mega Man Bosses.

[–]archon286 0 points1 point ago

The Great and Powewrful Turtle deserves better than this.

[–]anakhizer 0 points1 point ago

[–]reelbigfishtml 0 points1 point ago

Ta ta Turtleman!

[–]fghjconner 1 point2 points ago

[–]edgesrazor 0 points1 point ago

What about Mint-Berry Crunch?

[–]krom24 0 points1 point ago

what a dumb fuckin paint job on that truck fuck.

[–]BnGamesReviews 1 point2 points ago

If you think Turtles are slow, its obvious you've never owned one.

[–]MarkDTS 0 points1 point ago

The real Turtle Man "using his natural slowness as a weapon". :)

[–]xorkk7 0 points1 point ago

[–]frozenkiller7 0 points1 point ago

an average UPS driver by day, Stanley Pinterra (ANAGRAM FOR TERRAPIN! I AM CLEVER!?) was attacked by a radioactive snapping turtle! after spending months in hospital aid for massive doses of radiation, he dons the costume of, THE TURTLE MAN!

five days later he got shot and died

[–]Omulae 0 points1 point ago

Worst superhero ever: tapman

[–]YouAintGotToLieCraig -1 points0 points ago

That's not funny at all. Maybe to a 3rd grader.

[–]Garbage89 1 point2 points ago

[–]alaskanloops 0 points1 point ago

Maybe the robber will stop to take a nap right before he gets to the hideout.

[–]sandman101 0 points1 point ago

False. Turtles move exceptionaly fast. Tortuses move slow.

[–]swavemeisterg 0 points1 point ago

I think this guy wins

[–]Hobbert99 0 points1 point ago

My cousin wanted to be information man. I was like "...what does he do?" And he goes "I turn into information and give myself to people!" Me and my friend explode laughing.

[–]Eating-girlscouts 0 points1 point ago

Turtles are actually pretty fast.

[–]imjoey8 0 points1 point ago

"Turtleman! Turtleman! Where are you?!" "I'm on my way."

[–]explicitturtles 0 points1 point ago

Nerd mode activate!... Acually, turtles can move quite fast, it's tortoises the are slow.

[–]vorstellen 0 points1 point ago

Actually, I'm pretty sure aquaman takes the cake on bad super heroes.

[–]MasterOfTurtles 0 points1 point ago

It was funny, but now I hate you.

[–]anonymousceleb 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else say the title using the voice of Comic Book Guy?

[–]RandiTheRogue 1 point2 points ago

Yes! I came here to say this but alas, you have done it for me!