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all 26 comments

[–]boudreaux234 10 points11 points ago

I never thought of it this way Mario is maybe one of the most evil "protagonists" in gaming.

[–]tastethelink 13 points14 points ago

When Bowser took over the Mushroom Kingdom in the first game, he turned all of the Mushroom People into bricks. Those bricks you're breaking? Someone's parents, child, loved ones.

Mario is a monster.

[–]ew73 2 points3 points ago

He's just the People's Hero.

[–]Zephyr912 15 points16 points ago

Mario is a killer vote?

[–]Birdslapper 0 points1 point ago

This is how I read it because of the lack of comma:

"Mario is a [bully] and a [killer vote] for Bowser"

Like, he's a [killer vote] that belongs to Bowser

[–]Bazofwaz 0 points1 point ago

Punctuation is the difference between "I helped my fat uncle, Jack, off a horse." and "I helped my fat uncle jack-off a horse."

[–]wholetyouinhere -1 points0 points ago

I don't think the hyphen is correct in the second instance. A person you don't like might be a "jack-off", whereas you might "jack off" a person you particularly like.

Someone jump in if I'm wrong here.

[–]Bazofwaz -3 points-2 points ago

I think you might be right, but I'm going to keep it this way unless someone steps in and verifies this.

[–]inormallyjustlurkbut -4 points-3 points ago

A comma wouldn't work. It needs a period after "killer."

[–]ressis74 7 points8 points ago

Mario is also a genocidal maniac. In the original super mario bros, the manual states that Bowser turned the citizens of the Mushroom Kingdom into blocks, mushrooms, and other objects.

Think about how many blocks, mushrooms, and other objects Mario has murdered over the years!

[–]ThatsSilly 2 points3 points ago

Thats silly!

[–]SherlockHolmes- 1 point2 points ago

You just ruined Mario for me

[–]Saad_LFC 0 points1 point ago

Wouldn't you be the same if you risked your life countless times for a princess who only kissed you on the nose and baked you cakes ...... No wonder he's addicted to shrooms

[–]jurassiksteeze 1 point2 points ago

this is fucking hilarious

[–]looselytethered 1 point2 points ago

haha this is so funny

[–]Jzadek 1 point2 points ago

That made me sad.

[–]Groghnash 1 point2 points ago

this changed my life....

[–]RockFerrit 1 point2 points ago

They are minions of Bowser, they are about as bad as Bowser. Don't be fooled, they are tears of evil.

[–]ichibandesu 0 points1 point ago

You and my boyfriend will get along way too well...

[–]nintendosmith101 0 points1 point ago

I had just started to listen to Weasel Stomping Day by Weird Al as I clicked on this link. Fit quite appropriately.

[–]Hughtub 1 point2 points ago

I'd have really overdone the slow-mo of the mushroom man - Inception slow - a tear develops, and his life flashes before his eyes in a thought bubble above: his childhood, his parents, his graduation, his wife, starts to get more and more fragmented in the few seconds as Mario's feet slowly squish his brain into the ground, until finally the thought bubble turns black, and then evaporates, fading into a bright light above, and with this bright light, we can see Mario's balls up his pants. Mario wears no underwear while he bullies these poor, thoughtful creatures who lived life to its fullest.

[–]alfrednugent 0 points1 point ago

That turtle was mortified. That turtle was humiliated. That turtle lost every sense of hope and joy it ever had in humanity and - at that point - no longer wanted to live in this world. So defeated, so sad; I will weep for this turtle, now and forever.

[–]Yoshi_Cares 0 points1 point ago

You think i like helping that fat ass? i don't want to hurt those poor creatures, but he keeps riding my ass all day :(

[–]Drunk_Soldier 1 point2 points ago

please stop reposting this

[–]Bloatys_Pizza_Hog 0 points1 point ago

lol, mario the goomba killer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FhVfMhzVag

[–]Hughtub 0 points1 point ago

They overdo it in the wrong way with that. Maybe it's just that I don't have sympathy for people speaking with a Brooklyn accent.