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1830
1831

Thanks to pornhub (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by thatsjustshellfish

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[–]LowSociety 306 points307 points ago

My mom caught me fighting breast cancer once.

[–]COPYCAPSCAT 107 points108 points ago

did you have two broken arms?

[–]NoveltyAccount5928 79 points80 points ago

Somehow, eventually, this is going to end with Colby ...

[–]emacgregor16 48 points49 points ago

Poor Colby...

[–]LordJelly 67 points68 points ago

Yeah, it was bad when he got into that cumbox full of doritos and jolly ranchers.

[–]Yarrr_piratejackoff 30 points31 points ago

Well at least the cum box and jolly ranchers didn't go in Colby, right?

[–]Battletooth 19 points20 points ago

It did by accident when he wrestled with his sister in a silly and nonsexual way.

[–]redgroupclan 14 points15 points ago

And then he broke his arm and his mom was very loving towards him.

[–]UpvoteToUpvoters 11 points12 points ago

And we came full circle.

[–]StraY_WolF 8 points9 points ago

Relevent xkcd

[–]BaronOshawott 13 points14 points ago

The Doritos story... -shudder-

[–]Explains__The__Joke 10 points11 points ago

Source, please?

[–]LtBeard 16 points17 points ago

Shouldn't you be the one explaining it?

[–]Battletooth 12 points13 points ago

He's obviously doing research to explain more jokes. He's working on his thesis right now, I believe.

[–]Explains__The__Joke 7 points8 points ago

Shhhh

[–]EverythingFerns 11 points12 points ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q5ikr/reddit_what_is_the_weirdestmost_fucked_up_thing/c3uynfu

Good luck.

[–]OrderAmongChaos 10 points11 points ago

Someone needs to delete that post before it harms anyone else. Think of the children!

[–]ienjoymen 7 points8 points ago

OH DEAR GOD!

[–]hbomberman 3 points4 points ago

Man, I'm hungry for some nachos now...

[–]emacgregor16 5 points6 points ago

A lady ate vagina stuff out of her own pussy using Doritos. The end.

[–]Explains__The__Joke 10 points11 points ago

oh god

[–]NarwhalAMA 9 points10 points ago

Whoa dude, spoilers!

[–]wootmonster 10 points11 points ago

A person is lucky if they read that benign synopsis and move on thinking they have fully grasped the atrocity that is described in that story.

[–]jries 0 points1 point ago

Snape kills Dumbledore

[–]Orimos 3 points4 points ago

Trust me, you don't want to read this one.

[–]RabbleRabble668 1 point2 points ago

You don't want to know...

[–]Chrome_Sponge 4 points5 points ago

You forgot the guy who pooped in condoms.

[–]HopefulWisdom 2 points3 points ago

Colby Stahp

[–]Truth_Assassin 5 points6 points ago

Colby 2012 ... never forget.

[–]Jaf207 3 points4 points ago

Still think it's all a troll.

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 4 points5 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWdD206eSv0

[–]bornes 4 points5 points ago

Wow. I never knew that meme was from arthur. XD

[–]mdax8414 1 point2 points ago

Me neither.

/r/mildlyinteresting

[–]Ooftyman 1 point2 points ago

To be fair, I hear Colby has a pretty cute butt.

[–]JordanBlythe 1 point2 points ago

Poor hairbrush...

[–]Ooftyman 1 point2 points ago

Relevant.

[–]JordanBlythe 0 points1 point ago

You just ruined VEGGIE TALES. How the hell do you make Veggie Tales sexual. You, sir, are a monster.

[–]j_shor 7 points8 points ago

It's a family affair.

[–]bonnieprincebilly 8 points9 points ago

I see Colby referenced quite often, but I don't get the reference. Care to elaborate?

[–]Necsha85 18 points19 points ago

Some dude did an AMA because his son was sexually abusing their dog Colby, and he didn't know what to do

[–]hbomberman 14 points15 points ago

It's also worth noting that the guy had like 3 or 4 updates. He tried bringing it to his wife's attention and she kicked him out, thinking he did it. It kept going and even though many people kept suggesting that he get professional help for his son, he was still looking for a solution--which led to some to believe that the story was bogus.

[–]wootmonster 8 points9 points ago

Don't forget how his wife basically kicked him out then recanted when the son was bitten right above the dick after trying to fuck the dog again. Then the wife boohooed begging the husband to forgive her.

[–]Youlikeniggerdicks 9 points10 points ago

Sounds like a bunch of stuff made up to whore karma, IMHO.

[–]Ariano 3 points4 points ago

Sometimes we just have to have faith in people. If every post is karma whoring then I only ask what are we really as people?

[–]Ultimatepwr 10 points11 points ago

not to mention the fact that they were all self posts

[–]Youlikeniggerdicks 4 points5 points ago

Whores? I've come to that conclusion a long time ago.

We're all whores. Some for money, for karma, for sex, for anything. Some of us are proud of it, some ashamed, but in the end, we are all whores.

[–]chazzeromus 1 point2 points ago

Some guy looking for some entertainment. Without Reddit, there isn't any.

[–]Eriden 1 point2 points ago

But think of all the secondary karma people can whore now just by bringing up Colby.

[–]hbomberman 3 points4 points ago

I feel for the wife, too. The husband kept her in the dark about it at first and her son manipulated her. They were/are dealing with some heavy shit. I have no idea how I'd react.

[–]Jaiar 1 point2 points ago

Yea, but don't scream "DOG FUCKER DIG FUCKER DOG FUCKER!" When he tries. approach you about it.

[–]hbomberman 0 points1 point ago

I dunno. It might just be my conservative upbringing but that's the kind of stuff that builds character and really holds a family tight together, y'know?

[–]irrobin 8 points9 points ago

it was a post a while back on reddit.. where Someone's son was sodemizing a dog, so.. it turned into: -name- whaddu doing, -name- stahpppp

[–]KungFuJoe 3 points4 points ago

Who ever mentions Colby deserves a ban from reddit for a week, the story this is referencing is much more fucked up

[–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 7 points8 points ago

Cake Day request?

[–]KungFuJoe 2 points3 points ago

Holy shit... I didn't even notice it was my cake day... I've been too busy on my alt (I actually posted with it in my regular subs, I got worried for a moment haha)... shit time flies

[–]fretsurfer12 2 points3 points ago

Someone always brings that up. Long ago, my parents must have had no idea that one day, I would share a name with a sodomized dog...

[–]gkx 8 points9 points ago

It's just not reddit without incest...

[–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 38 points39 points ago

Did she fight the good fight?

[–]Yarrr_piratejackoff 9 points10 points ago

No, I think everyone loses when that happens

[–]njstein 21 points22 points ago

Not in the videos I watch.

[–]mcknicker 14 points15 points ago

I like to fight breast cancer all over my girlfriend's face.

[–]Akeid 21 points22 points ago

You watch porn all over your gf's face?

[–]mcknicker 16 points17 points ago

Only when she lets me (usually after a few glasses of wine). Whip out my big projector and BAM! 3D porn contoured to her face. So hot.

[–]NoveltyAccount5928 7 points8 points ago

That's actually a really awesome idea.

BRB buying a projector ...

[–]BraKes22 11 points12 points ago

...and a girlfriend

[–]zobee 5 points6 points ago

Good. Good.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Stroking your girlfriend's face til you splash the jimmys sounds kind of hard to do.

[–]MergeTheBands 2 points3 points ago

Could someone explain the joke?

[–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 11 points12 points ago

Original meme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/60s-spider-man

What I was referencing: http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/10yr4e/for_the_month_of_october_pornhub_is_donating_1/

[–]irrobin 8 points9 points ago

PornHub is doing this promotion thing where every time you watch a boob video, they donate money to Breast Cancer Foundation (or something similar), thus.. watching boob-porn videos on pornhub = indirectly donating money to breast cancer research = indirectly fighting breast cancer.

stupid joke, hillarious nonetheless

load more comments (5 replies)

    [–]ffflareon 104 points105 points ago

    Where the fuck do you live where there is a fall break?

    Edit: I don't know why I find this so astonishing. Probably because I'm only 2 weeks into school. (I live in Oregon)

    [–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 56 points57 points ago

    Most universities in NC.

    [–]ffflareon 12 points13 points ago

    When is it in relation to your terms/semesters and other breaks?

    [–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 15 points16 points ago

    It's usually the monday and tuesday after the first weekend in October.

    [–]mhelliwell 22 points23 points ago

    Here in Canada it's Thanksgiving weekend so we get Monday off.

    [–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 13 points14 points ago

    We get off on Mondays

    FTFY

    [–]V3RTiG0 6 points7 points ago

    So... a three day weekend is considered a 'break' now?

    Don't tell Ross.

    [–]weyand1 2 points3 points ago

    Hate to break it to you... but that's 4 days. And I wish I had them off.

    [–]SirNoName 2 points3 points ago

    We get half of thanksgiving week off, and another break a few weeks before that, exactly halfway through the semester...

    [–]mdax8414 0 points1 point ago

    Thanksgiving is in NOVEMBER.

    You're not fooling anyone, mister!

    You can take your Canadian weekend and gitttt out.

    [–]DJKoolKeith 7 points8 points ago

    Dude! I live in NC too! I don't even know why I made this comment, but I had too...

    [–]flowercup 24 points25 points ago

    Two people... from the same state...? But how?

    [–]thewonderkind 6 points7 points ago

    Make it three! Amazing!

    [–]njstein 5 points6 points ago

    Time to have a wonderful conversation about all the things that make North Carolina what it is. Like...

    [–]mcknicker 2 points3 points ago

    "Boy, that North Carolina sure is...statey, isn't it?"
    "Sure is. Statey as heck. And the good kind of statey, not that Montana kind of statey."

    [–]njstein 1 point2 points ago

    I'm still waiting for an example. I have no idea, I'm from jersey.

    [–]VortixTM 4 points5 points ago

    I know a girl from North Carolina. And I'm not even from your country!

    [–]SoIheardYouLike 1 point2 points ago

    FOUR. I'm from NC and I'm on fall break too.

    [–]bobsterman91 5 points6 points ago

    SC? Close enough.

    [–]DJKoolKeith 3 points4 points ago

    Shit just got real. This can't be a coincidence.

    [–]wootmonster 1 point2 points ago

    I just moved to SC. Does that count?

    [–]kinghef 1 point2 points ago

    We had fall break thurs and today-university of Alabama..rtr

    [–]mcc31193 1 point2 points ago

    I'm on my fall break too, but most of my friends from other schools aren't yet. I thought it was just UNCC, where do you go?

    [–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 1 point2 points ago

    I actually go to UNCC, but NC State has it too and I'm pretty sure App and Greensboro

    [–]mcc31193 1 point2 points ago

    Oh wow, small world haha. I forgot about State but I'm pretty positive Apps is next weekend. That's what I've been told though I could be wrong.

    [–]Skoolz 1 point2 points ago

    So, North Carolina is so special is gets a fall break? I've lived in TX and PA, two polar opposites of the country, and never heard of such a thing.

    [–]samisbond 1 point2 points ago

    I'm sitting here in PA on Fall Break. Most people I know are on break; I don't know what this comment thread is talking about.

    [–]Skoolz 1 point2 points ago

    What are YOU talking about? What is fall break? I am a student at Penn State and we have no "fall break" that I know of. I return to class Monday, business as usual. If you're talking about high school, then fuck you.

    [–]samisbond 1 point2 points ago

    College. We get two days off. No idea why we have this joke of a break but yes.

    Edit: except they count the weekend as part of the break so everything including dining shuts down. More of a hassle than a break in my opinion.

    [–]7788222255633887 1 point2 points ago

    Kentucky too

    [–]krunchyblack 1 point2 points ago

    Most universities in GA as well. I too am fighting the good fight.

    [–]almostasfunnyasyou 1 point2 points ago

    Up in Canada they've got Canadian thanksgiving right now, too.

    [–]DeBryceIsRight 2 points3 points ago

    You're only two weeks into school? My first quarter ends in a week!

    [–]ffflareon 1 point2 points ago

    Started September 24. We end in early/mid June.

    [–]DeBryceIsRight 1 point2 points ago

    I envy you! You get out only you two weeks later but start nearly two months after!

    [–]Decafed 5 points6 points ago

    I live in Arizona and get a week for fall break.

    [–]Solefirefly 4 points5 points ago

    Moved here about more than a year ago and I love the whole week off where I do nothing.

    [–]DeBryceIsRight 4 points5 points ago

    I live in Arizona and I don't have a fall break.

    [–]Fearchen 1 point2 points ago

    Also in Germany.

    [–]thefool_onthehill 1 point2 points ago

    I got to university in Maine and I have a fall break. Some of my friends don't, however. (They go to different schools in different states.)

    [–]hnrqoliv182 1 point2 points ago

    I'm in Washington and was wondering the same thing.

    [–]Dances_with_Sleep 1 point2 points ago

    I go to school in NY and Fall Break started today.

    Edit: It includes Monday and Tuesday

    [–]ffflareon 0 points1 point ago

    Here, we call that the weekend.

    [–]Stig101 1 point2 points ago

    Yup being from Ohio I've never heard of a Fall break

    [–]frsh2fourty 1 point2 points ago

    Came here to ask the same question. We get nothing of the sort here in Texas. Hell, even our thanksgiving break is just two days. But I suppose its not all bad because we are done by the second week in May and don't start till the last week of August.

    [–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 0 points1 point ago

    Hahaha hate to break it to you but so do we, and we've got a week off for thanksgiving and these extra two days for this weekend

    [–]DeathbatMaggot 0 points1 point ago

    Where the fuck do you live where there is a fall break?

    Ohio. We have a "fair break" in our county.

    [–]Alexander12345 13 points14 points ago

    I'm going to help donate thousands because of this

    [–]t_chobo 11 points12 points ago

    Wow. I could have "single handedly" cured breast cancer 3 times in my lifetime.

    [–]fire-accident 39 points40 points ago

    more jpg pls

    [–]therobotjeff 8 points9 points ago

    Yeah yeah...here.

    [–]BirdTrain 1 point2 points ago

    This is the only meme that benefits from low resolution.

    [–]Jayross -1 points0 points ago

    yeah seriously, low-resolution, terrible jpeg compression, did the op get this image over his dial-up modem or something?

    [–]downtothespark 14 points15 points ago

    we all need to do our part

    [–]notarapist72 8 points9 points ago

    Together, we could eliminate breast cancer in a week

    [–]MrMoustachio 23 points24 points ago

    What is this supposed to mean?

    [–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 40 points41 points ago

    Original meme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/60s-spider-man

    What I was referencing: http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/10yr4e/for_the_month_of_october_pornhub_is_donating_1/

    EDIT: formatting was off

    [–]MrMoustachio 17 points18 points ago

    Ah, was unaware of the pornhub donation thing. Thanks.

    [–]Jaf207 9 points10 points ago

    And he is now going to put it to good use.

    [–]irrobin 3 points4 points ago

    pornhub is doing a promotion where they donate money to breast cancer research each time you watch a boob video.

    [–]dhockey63 11 points12 points ago

    "Are you masturbating in there?" "No, im fighting breast cancer" "Oh, im sorry"

    [–]ImminentDecay 3 points4 points ago

    Like I don't already have enough reasons to watch porn!

    [–]Greatdrift 7 points8 points ago

    My friends are all out and i'm just sitting here counting the pixels.

    [–]Bombadildo1 7 points8 points ago

    I 'fight breast cancer' almost everyday, I'm pretty good at it.

    [–]Ngiole 1 point2 points ago

    What is 'fall break' and why do I not get one.

    [–]Captain_Kittens 1 point2 points ago

    We all salute those who sacrifice their time to go fight breast cancer.

    [–]nanoprecise 1 point2 points ago

    Wut? Fall break is a month and a half away for me. Lucky dog.

    [–]facepump 1 point2 points ago

    haha omg I just had the worst day but this instantly made me laugh out loud. Thank you sir!

    [–]thatsjustshellfish[S] 0 points1 point ago

    Anything for you ;)

    [–]jennz 1 point2 points ago

    Fall break?! We just finished week 1 of classes. O.o

    [–]rasatm 1 point2 points ago

    To fight the good fight and for all my brothers in palms, I salute you!

    [–]hbomberman 2 points3 points ago

    According to their website, it's like 1 cent for every 30 videos. That's something like $4,280 now.

    [–]kittyontheg0 1 point2 points ago

    XD

    [–]brick124 -1 points0 points ago

    With his hands CLEARLY ON THE DESK.

    [–]LGV_123 5 points6 points ago

    I loved the two pixels of the image.

    [–]JamoWRage 6 points7 points ago

    Actually there are 128,205 (407x315) pixels in this picture. But yeah, 2 pixels... that's cool

    [–]gkx 5 points6 points ago

    You must be a blast at parties.

    [–]JamoWRage 10 points11 points ago

    I'm sorry, I don't partake in parties. There is too much alcohol and drug abuse, and my mom doesn't like me staying out past 8:00pm because that's when the rapists like to come out. But if you mean WoW parties, yeah, everyone loves me. And my D&D party even voted me "most likable DM", which is a big accomplishment for anyone that has ever hosted an adventure.

    [–]digitalnexus 2 points3 points ago

    Best possible response.

    I had a friend like you, his name was Keegan.

    Horrible name, kick-ass guy. He could DM like a champ.

    [–]enneads169 4 points5 points ago

    Is that a portrait of Hitler in the background?

    [–]frkcool 7 points8 points ago

    J. Jonah Jameson

    [–]digitalnexus -1 points0 points ago

    same thing

    [–]kebo99 1 point2 points ago

    Literally Hitler

    [–]AngelixArch 3 points4 points ago

    Fall break...? You're kidding... Fall... BREAK? Seems like someone has a good school.

    [–]gkx 3 points4 points ago

    It's fairly common. At my school it's just an excuse for a three day weekend.

    [–]AngelixArch -1 points0 points ago

    Fairly common my freaking ass. We don't get any real days off until summer! ><

    [–]gkx 0 points1 point ago

    Umm... Really? No Thanksgiving, Winter Break, Spring Break...

    [–]emaw63 -1 points0 points ago

    I don't get one...

    [–]gkx 1 point2 points ago

    It's fairly common to be Asian, but you're probably not Asian.

    If you are Asian, ignore that and read the next sentence.

    It's fairly common to be white, but you're probably not white.

    Public high schools in the U.S. have 180 days. They just differ as to how they're split up.

    I should also mention that I didn't get one in high school. I get one in college, now. I think they're slightly/much more common in college.

    [–]dewyocelot 5 points6 points ago

    College maybe?

    [–]AngelixArch 0 points1 point ago

    ):<

    [–]NoBloodNoLet 1 point2 points ago

    skeets for teets

    [–]theothersteve7 1 point2 points ago

    Dammit Spiderman! Your meme is supposed to be old and no longer funny by now, and you go and do this.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

    how is your school on fall break? that's crazy, I'm in this fall bullshit till dec. 12

    [–]gkx -1 points0 points ago

    Summer break in Miami is such a nice respite.

    [–]let_me_get_that_gut -1 points0 points ago

    ...and I'm just sitting here fighting image compression

    [–]tommybread 0 points1 point ago

    Boy, That escalated quickly.

    I mean, that really got out of hand fast.

    [–]Jaf207 1 point2 points ago

    That ejaculated quickly. FTFY

    [–]overused-meme-alert -2 points-1 points ago

    That escalated quickly

    PFWEEEEEEE

    .

    [–]Oddish420 -1 points0 points ago

    Funny meme, but what the hell is Fall Break?

    [–]Kman1121 -1 points0 points ago

    What university?

    [–]EdgHG -1 points0 points ago

    So generous

    [–]Pillow50 -1 points0 points ago

    And we're just beating a dead horse

    [–]PreLives015 0 points1 point ago

    No. We're beating our wieners

    [–]PresidentSagan 1 point2 points ago

    GET A FUCKING GRIP

    [–]weavin 0 points1 point ago

    This reminds me of this

    [–]SMIRTLE 0 points1 point ago

    wrong subreddit

    [–]elegos513 -2 points-1 points ago

    wait ... pornhub works for you? for the last week or two it's been broken for me...

    [–]Limens 2 points3 points ago

    Am I the only one around here who is more interested into WHY THE FUCK THIS JPG HAS BEEN COMPRESSED SO MUCH?

    [–]CJ_Guns 0 points1 point ago

    You know what I just thought? Images on the Internet are constantly saved, re-uploaded, etc. thousands of times every second. Each time, compression happens (right?). The original source images are long lost.

    How soon is it until all our beloved images, memes, and macros are undecipherable rubbish? Is there a limit to compression?

    [–]gkx 1 point2 points ago

    I'm not positive, but I have my doubts that jpgs are recompressed if they started out as jpgs.

    Further, I think, even if they did start out as jpgs, if you were to save it as, say, a tif, and then resave it as a jpg, it would retain its quality.

    That depends on how jpgs are compressed, though, I believe.

    EDIT: After further research, this is not true. I have no idea how it works.

    [–]star_witness 0 points1 point ago

    I've personally donated $20 today, thanks to PornHub.

    [–]Homo-Ludens 0 points1 point ago

    Fall Break?

    [–]TeaRat 0 points1 point ago

    That file compression.

    [–]TrapMo -1 points0 points ago

    This made me sad

    [–]coffedrank -4 points-3 points ago

    reddit misunderstanding and corroding memes as usual

    [–]im_too_literal 0 points1 point ago

    Except it's for awareness, not research.

    [–]D4rkr4in -1 points0 points ago

    TIL Fap fights breast cancer

    [–]carver1976 -1 points0 points ago

    hahaha..wait what?

    [–]aksid -1 points0 points ago

    wtf is fall break?

    [–]zerro_4 -1 points0 points ago

    MOAR JAYPEG

    [–]Skoolz -1 points0 points ago

    wtf is fall break?

    [–]MusicalVegan -1 points0 points ago

    I'll just leave this here. http://www.usatoday.com/story/ondeadline/2012/10/04/komen-breast-cancer-pornography-donations/1613781/

    [–]dademurphie -2 points-1 points ago

    Pornhub gave her cancer?

    [–]chotix -1 points0 points ago

    The fuck is fall break?

    [–]stillcole -1 points0 points ago

    Kids get fall break now???

    [–]almostjesus -1 points0 points ago

    This poor...poor meme. Ruined by reddit.

    [–]InfL -1 points0 points ago

    ow I don't know why but this website has been blocked my my service provider.

    [–]Appendix-Fuck -1 points0 points ago

    The hell is fall break?

    load more comments (4 replies)

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