this post was submitted on
1,639 points (54% like it)
10,145 up votes 8,506 down votes

funny

subscribe2,540,765 readers

11,513 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 114 comments

[–]GreatBallsofTitanium 65 points66 points ago

This is the hard part. You're going to be taken.

[–]calicojones 27 points28 points ago

..what I do have is a very particular set of toy shovels.

[–]ANAL_QUEEN 5 points6 points ago

From behind, just enjoy it.

[–]agile52 4 points5 points ago

Just the tip, please.

[–]Widespread_Panic 2 points3 points ago

Probably gonna get the whole thing

[–]DarkRainGuy -4 points-3 points ago

Probably gonna get the whole wang.

FTFY

[–]Trents_V 1 point2 points ago

Excuse me. Do you have a moment to talk about the lord, Jesus Christ?

[–]Faleen 25 points26 points ago

I fucking love the turtle sandbox.

[–]JustHereToDerp 4 points5 points ago

This is what I always did in my turtle sandbox.

[–]Isthatfromfirefly 1 point2 points ago

Why are they turtles?

[–]paisley_cat 1 point2 points ago

Not a sandbox. Is Beer Turtle. Put it in the pool full of ice and stick your choice of beer in the ice, Beer Turtle will keep ya happy :-).

[–]laz-y 49 points50 points ago

In case anyone's curious: http://common1.csnimages.com/lf/1/hash/561/504888/1/Turtle+Sandbox.jpg

I grew up in that thing.

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 35 points36 points ago

I grew up in that thing.

Did your parents live in it, too, or did they just make you live in it?

[–]laz-y 11 points12 points ago

I spent so much time in there, I used it as a toilet and bathtub, occasionally at the same time.

[–]Shellface 3 points4 points ago

Answer the damn question, lazy.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Osiris32 4 points5 points ago

DO NOT CLICK, IT'S A PAYSITE

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 3 points4 points ago

Don't click this link, it's for ad dollars. Downvote, report and move along.

[–]Two_Coins 3 points4 points ago

I had a quicksand box.

I was the only child...

...Eventually.

[–]justanotherbad 1 point2 points ago

Oh, Steven Wright you rascal

[–]Townshenge 14 points15 points ago

I cannot thank you enough for posting this photo without the caption "soon"

[–]midnitewarrior 15 points16 points ago

Oh that will be coming...eventually

[–]Gimli_The_Dwarf 0 points1 point ago

Soon....

[–]chefman777 10 points11 points ago

Gumby's back from the dead.

[–]midnitewarrior 8 points9 points ago

Gumby II : Sand and Clay Don't Mix, Motherf*cker!

[–]chefman777 9 points10 points ago

Child's Clay

[–]lebowskisweater 1 point2 points ago

Fat gumby.

[–]stephrightmeow 70 points71 points ago

"SOON"

[–]mcknicker 43 points44 points ago

[–]mcknicker 11 points12 points ago

[–]mcknicker 0 points1 point ago

[–]The_Painted_Man 0 points1 point ago

I think i liked that as a kid when i was really into Turtles.

Now, as a 32yo adult... it's a little embarrassing.

[–]mcknicker 0 points1 point ago

I believe enough time has passed where we can put Vanilla Ice firmly into the "Dear God, how on earth did this become a thing" category.

[–]polyshore 0 points1 point ago

Same needs to go for Kriss Kross

[–]GoodGuyAnusDestroyer 2 points3 points ago

What does this have to do with the ninja turtles? I find this offensive because one of them is named after me.

[–]mcknicker 12 points13 points ago

Was GoodGuyAnusDestroyer cool but crude or the party dude? My memory's a little foggy....

[–]molonym2 0 points1 point ago

Because that sandbox is a giant turtle and the lid of it looks like a shell. Still have the exact same one in my parents back yard.

[–]TheTalkingCamelAnus 1 point2 points ago

You should be put in jail for what you've done.

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 2 points3 points ago

"Now that I don't have that sand weighing me down, I'm coming for you!"

[–]gangybluth 6 points7 points ago

You can always tell a Milford man.

[–]DonkeyPunchTheGalaxy 6 points7 points ago

"I like to watch."

[–]Skinnyasspants 4 points5 points ago

Invest in a lawn mower

[–]CNN7 2 points3 points ago

Flubber!

[–]BettyWhiteisaFox 0 points1 point ago

Oh man! Is that one of those tiny turtle pools? Those are the GREATEST!

...well apparently those were for sand. Guess we didn't get the memo

[–]MatterStorm 2 points3 points ago

Don't blink

[–]merrilyoff2hell -1 points0 points ago

Finally. A good joke that doesn't involve SOOOOOOOOOON.

[–]DJRD 0 points1 point ago

Don't blink.

Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe, don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink. Good luck.

[–]ssjaken 0 points1 point ago

For the record. Scp has been around longer than the angels.

[–]DJRD 0 points1 point ago

Yes, it has. Point?

[–]classy-as-fuck 2 points3 points ago

You can always tell a Milford sandbox.

[–]goof-ballz 0 points1 point ago

I can tell that that's my cottage

[–]Code_For_Food 2 points3 points ago

From the bedroom window?

[–]eodomo 0 points1 point ago

That's your bedroom?

[–]Trentious 0 points1 point ago

Garden sandbox is watching you masturbate.

[–]33165564 0 points1 point ago

Minnesota? It's been windy as heck here last two days.

[–]acidiceyebleach -1 points0 points ago

NOPE!

[–]UnluckyTamper -1 points0 points ago

I BRING YOU LOVE

[–]fun_guess 1 point2 points ago

I would say your troll friend the wind.

[–]bipolaroid 0 points1 point ago

that's adorable

[–]AwesomeA98 -1 points0 points ago

He's watching you O.O

[–]sivablue -1 points0 points ago

You ain't gotta lie, Craig... you be out borrowing boxes and messed up your sand box last night.

[–]griffith12 -1 points0 points ago

How long ago did the wind blow away your lawnmower?

[–]slop_pocket -1 points0 points ago

i bet you did that, not the wind, didnt you

[–]Deusdies -1 points0 points ago

Wow, so homes made out of wood do exist!

[–]michaelbosh -1 points0 points ago

Soon...

[–]Speciesunkn0wn -1 points0 points ago

the only thing i can think of is SOON...

[–]BlueSatoshi -1 points0 points ago

I'm starting to doubt that was the wind...

[–]dookie_patrol -1 points0 points ago

it want's to say hi.

[–]bearcan -1 points0 points ago

The sand man is coming to put you to sleep. Hush now, don't struggle...

[–]bearcan -1 points0 points ago

A

[–]mattbluesman 0 points1 point ago

Looks like chairy from pee wees playhouse.

[–]SuddenlyGodzilla -1 points0 points ago

Soon

[–]Brigitte_Bardough -1 points0 points ago

was expecting cat poop. I am pleasantly surprised!

[–]PvtJoker1987 -1 points0 points ago

SSSSSsssssssssssssssssssss.........

[–]watchagonnado 0 points1 point ago

ctrl+f:soon. Was not dissapointed.

[–]RazielDune 0 points1 point ago

Soon....

[–]Nightwing11 0 points1 point ago

Since when does Flubber have eyes?

[–]INTL3 0 points1 point ago

soon.

[–]fubbington 0 points1 point ago

I had that turtle. I played in that turtle.

[–]Bohsohard55 0 points1 point ago

They're sour than they're sweet!

[–]TeaRat 0 points1 point ago

Had one of these that got blown around. It ended up in our pool. In the deep end.

[–]nemorina 0 points1 point ago

oh come on, he was obviously frightened by that wind. He'll come out of hiding if we all calm down and let him know it's alright.

[–]steelo_brown 0 points1 point ago

Damn, bottom of the post and I've still got 'Ninja rap' stuck in my head...

[–]PPCwarren 0 points1 point ago

SOON!

[–]BrodyApproves -1 points0 points ago

I had no idea these monsters still existed.

[–]stevenfrijoles 2 points3 points ago

My favorite memory of my turtle sandbox, brought back by this post, is sticking a straw in the sand and sucking as hard as my five year old lungs could, then running to the sink with my mouth and throat just fucking stuffed to the brim with sand.

I was not a clever child.

[–]AWOO32 1 point2 points ago

Nope. Chuck testa

[–]NoNeedForAName 1 point2 points ago

Dude, you seriously need to cut that grass.

[–]elephantx 1 point2 points ago

Hey Reddit, look at this cute (sandbox) turtle I rescued...

[–]tavison 1 point2 points ago

"This is a Keter class alert" "SCP-173 has breached our security"

[–]yanksnjets27 -2 points-1 points ago

These things would be nearly impossible to move by wind as they are low to the ground and curved. Anyone else call bullshit?

[–]thejko[S] 9 points10 points ago

[–]xDanny 1 point2 points ago

Are you trying to suggest people lie on the Internet?

[–]SQUID_FUCKER -1 points0 points ago

Eh, that's not entirely true. If it was empty a gust of wind could easily overturn it. No need to be cynical on this one.

[–]Awfy -2 points-1 points ago

TIL the wind doesn't go under objects that are sitting on the ground, it knows its place!

[–]CaresLessEveryday -1 points0 points ago

kill it with fire

[–]overused-meme-alert 0 points1 point ago

kill it with fire

PFWEEEEEEE

.

[–]Sadrockman -2 points-1 points ago

SOON.

[–]radler470 0 points1 point ago

"You'll pay for that."

[–]artacuno53 0 points1 point ago

"come and play"

[–]DropShop06 0 points1 point ago

I'd say, that lawn is a mess!

[–]caribou16 0 points1 point ago

"I want your kids. Inside me."

[–]OldJeb -2 points-1 points ago

SOON

[–]fuckteachforamerica -3 points-2 points ago

Soon

[–]Vaub -3 points-2 points ago

Soon.

[–]BaronVonChang -4 points-3 points ago

[–]kmreid -4 points-3 points ago

Soon.