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top 200 commentsshow all 260

[–]Vsx 304 points305 points ago

ATTENTION EVERYONE: This dog is peeing, not shitting.

Swiss mountain dogs take a long time to get housebroken and they have poor bladder control when they get excited or scared. Mine recently peed on me while I was cutting her nails (she hates it). Also, the dog in this gif is being playful, I don't think it was scared at all because of the way it was bouncing back and forth. That's exactly how my dog plays.

Edit: Someone posted the video. Still think the dog is scared?

[–]DarkLightx19 100 points101 points ago

He probably thought his owner was trying to claim dominance. The reason it looks like the dog knows what he is doing is because it is a submissive urination

[–]ByJiminy 219 points220 points ago

"Stop yelling at me! I'm peeing just like you want!"

[–]0ab83a7b 68 points69 points ago

Ah, Friday nights, good times.

[–]IIdsandsII 9 points10 points ago

Just like the age old adage says, Friday nights bring golden showers.

[–]2pacsofgum 5 points6 points ago

"Did I please you master?"

[–]makesureimjewish 11 points12 points ago

you almost turned my fart into something undoable

[–]spork151 7 points8 points ago

We've all taken a gamble and lost...

[–]makesureimjewish 2 points3 points ago

i managed to fight back the demons

[–]IIdsandsII 4 points5 points ago

doody

[–]IIdsandsII 2 points3 points ago

are you jewish?

[–]makesureimjewish 6 points7 points ago

I'll double check next time I'm in the shower

[–]IIdsandsII 5 points6 points ago

I'm just making sure.

[–]Keitaro_Urashima 1 point2 points ago

No, I will ;)

[–]makesureimjewish 1 point2 points ago

please provide proof that you are female. or otherwise effeminate

[–]GhostOfYoMama 1 point2 points ago

With about 75%-80% of all US men looking alike down there, that's not much of an identification anymore...

[–]makesureimjewish 1 point2 points ago

you're forgetting about the star of david tattoo in the crotchal region

[–]sheepyowl 1 point2 points ago

Wait, usually you can undo your farts?

[–]makesureimjewish 0 points1 point ago

Farts are ok to pass through. I wasn't talking about farts

[–]sheepyowl 0 points1 point ago

you almost turned my fart

Pretty sure you were talking about farts.

[–]makesureimjewish 0 points1 point ago

you almost turned my fart into something undoable

the something was the subject under the heading of "undoable"

[–]sheepyowl 0 points1 point ago

I could argue about this but it will just be really confusing for everyone.

[–]MrSyster 0 points1 point ago

They sound almost the same going the other way.

[–]squirrelballs 0 points1 point ago

Shits are not undo-able.

[–]makesureimjewish 0 points1 point ago

but peoples reaction to them in an office are

[–]Keitaro_Urashima 0 points1 point ago

That's what she said.

[–]dianthe 5 points6 points ago

Oh wow, I never heard of submissive urination before but now my dog's behavior totally makes sense... he often does it after being bathed (he hates bath time), we just thought he was being defiant but submissive urination makes much more sense.

[–]MissCheeks 1 point2 points ago

Try taking him out before bathtime. :)

[–]dianthe 8 points9 points ago

We take him out 4 times a day and he is extremely good at holding it in so I don't think it's physical, but when he does it after bath time he does look very skittish/submissive sort of thing (ears back, cowering, lowering his body). And he always does it right in front of us as well and not out of our sight so I think he really might be just saying "I submit, you win! Please no more bath time!"

[–]getitdon 1 point2 points ago

Very relevant.

[–]rkobo719 0 points1 point ago

There is no way this dog is peeing out of submission. It's playing around, a lot of dogs will pee out of excitement. My friend's beagle will pee if I call his name excitedly.

[–]pics-or-didnt-happen 0 points1 point ago

Thank you. Vsx is at best, half right.

[–]bbbobertson 0 points1 point ago

I had a roommate with a dog that had a submissive urination problem. English Sheepdog. She stayed in the basement when we weren't home. I was late for work once and I guess she could sense my rushed attitude....she peed so much that the entire kitchen floor was covered....and it smelled like a bottle of amonia.
No idea why I told that story.

[–]FalafelWaffel 0 points1 point ago

I'm almost positive that that dog is a female. That's how girl dogs pee.

[–]Meowtlandish 10 points11 points ago

My dog does this all the time (unfortunately) because he is afraid of everything. Literally everything. Including:

  • Stacks of DVDs
  • Mediumly loud noises
  • TV remotes
  • Blankets
  • Paper
  • Boxes
  • Plates
  • My cat

We adopted him so I expect he was either in a not very good home, or that he was born in the mean streetz.

[–]Vsx 2 points3 points ago

I have a rescue dog who is pretty much afraid of anyone holding anything. He is most afraid of plastic bags though. Plastic bags are the devil.

[–]LaPoderosa -1 points0 points ago

I have a rescue that is the exact same way

[–]_AwesomeWalrus 0 points1 point ago

My little man is terrified of empty plastic bags if theyre in someone's hands.. Plastic bag on the floor? Into his tummy it goes.

[–]ragingroku 0 points1 point ago

I dog that pees on cats. Sounds like my kinda guy dog.

[–]vivestalin 0 points1 point ago

Stacks of DVDs, that made me LOL.

[–]jemloq 7 points8 points ago

ah. for a moment I thought someone had discovered the canine brown note.

[–]enneads169 6 points7 points ago

Owner's reaction: http://i.imgur.com/f2k0O.gif

[–]runsurfswim 0 points1 point ago

So I can't say the of( original filmer) scared the shit out of the dog?

[–]Vetes 0 points1 point ago

Out of interest, which 'variety' of Swiss Mountain dog is it in the gif?

[–]Vsx 0 points1 point ago

It's a greater swiss mountain dog, usually called a swissy. Most of the other breeds are not actually refferred to commonly as swiss mountain dogs but by their actual breed (Bernese, Entlebucher, Appenzeller). If someone has a swiss mountain dog they are probably talking about a GSMD.

[–]sugarbullets 1 point2 points ago

i got a male Swissy! He's 117lbs, and 18 months old. He took at least a year to house break. Large dogs take a while, they know they are not suppose to but they just cant hold it. He still pees when he gets in trouble. He also found out I won't go after him if he jumps on the bed. Clever little peeing dog he is. Mentally it can take 3 years to mature, but from what I hear, they are playful and puppy like forever. Does your girl know how to stop after she starts running? Mine use to stop late, now he just keeps running till he hits you... lol

[–]dcfcblues 0 points1 point ago

I have a puppy Bernese and he has been a bit tough to house break. He is good about going on his puppy pads though when he is inside and not just on the floor. He's also super shy around new people and follows my girlfriend around like a little furry shadow. The exact opposite of how my Golden Retriever is.

[–]Vsx 1 point2 points ago

Mine is 3, usually around 95lbs. Still a total maniac when she's playing. She is careful around kids but not adults, we have wood floors and she slid into my legs and took me out last month. I had to get xrays and my left leg is still messed up a little bit. It's really my fault because she's so hilarious when she gets going and I completely provoke her.

[–]sugarbullets 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, I know how that is. I love the Bambi sprawl, all four legs out, then you chase them and it just get funnier.

[–]skatedaddy 0 points1 point ago

Haha went through this when the video first surfaced. Many thought it was a poo.

[–]deadlyenmity 0 points1 point ago

Is this Jerry Seinfeld's dog?

[–]snowlion13 0 points1 point ago

obligatory pic of my swiss mountain dog http://imgur.com/mBfO1

my male dog did take a while to be fully house trained, but once he was he never pees out of excitment or fear. and can hold it a long time. females have a chance for incontinance if spayed before thier first heat. many owners allow them to have a heat for this reason

[–]Vsx 1 point2 points ago

Unfortunately we found that out shortly after following the vets recommendation to spay at 6 months. She's pretty good though, no accidents in a long while.

At work so I only have cell phone shots:
Puppy shot - http://i.imgur.com/I3yKM.jpg
Big head shot - http://i.imgur.com/dv9tx.jpg

[–]snowlion13 0 points1 point ago

i dont know why people pressure to spay and nueter so soon, they dont care that they are damaging our dogs, they only look at our dogs as possible puppy machines. that vet shouldve known better as it applies to all giant breed dogs and even large breed dogs

shes a really pretty girl !

[–]sugarbullets 0 points1 point ago

yes, I agree. We have a contract with the breeder to nueter him, but we have desided to wait till at least 2 so he can get his full dose of hormones while growing.

[–]vivestalin 0 points1 point ago

Holy god that's a cute puppy.

[–]Vsx 0 points1 point ago

[–]DullDawn 0 points1 point ago

But I had my pitchfork all oiled up.

[–]ty556 0 points1 point ago

Enhanced to confirm.

[–]ganbatte 190 points191 points ago

It seemed like the dog knew exactly what it was doing...he pauses for a second to think 'this'll teach the sucker to mess with me'

Tbf, if someone blew that in my face, I'd be tempted to respond the same way

[–]sociallyawkwarddildo 74 points75 points ago

I'd pay to see you walk past a harbor.

[–]ganbatte 21 points22 points ago

That would be...messy

[–]MBuddah 30 points31 points ago

because of the poop.

[–]beer_madness 27 points28 points ago

This explains the joke.

[–]nomoreftknox 8 points9 points ago

You'd pay would you? ...you're into some interesting things aren't you?...

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]kz_ 18 points19 points ago

Ski bi di bi di do bap do

[–]Magixren 1 point2 points ago

Stop, you're giving him blue balls!

[–]nomoreftknox 0 points1 point ago

Sir, you insult me. I've spent half my life on the internet, I know what scat is.

[–]Dalfion 6 points7 points ago

You'd watch from poop deck?

[–]cafink 3 points4 points ago

What does "Tbf" mean?

[–]Doggiestylze 11 points12 points ago

Tremendously big fart.

[–]Bycin01 4 points5 points ago

To be fair? I'm just guessing, though.

[–]doobiedoob1 0 points1 point ago

Tits be fabulous

[–]ganbatte 0 points1 point ago

To be fair...

[–]Mightyyy 2 points3 points ago

Exactly! He obviously didn't like the sound. His strategy worked to perfection.

[–]mikeet9 2 points3 points ago

It's a sign if submission. It was terrified.

[–]Viperbunny 0 points1 point ago

I feel the same way.

[–]deosama 15 points16 points ago

[–]I_Key_Cars 4 points5 points ago

And it's only 2.5 years old.

[–]lookattheduck 292 points293 points ago

You found the brown noise!

[–]robotobo 50 points51 points ago

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWN NOOOOOTE!

[–]themightyscott 11 points12 points ago

Awwwwww maaaan. New pair of underwear needed.

[–]Hewgag 5 points6 points ago

The Brown Sound

[–]ccarlyon 1 point2 points ago

[–]phytohydra 1 point2 points ago

Why did I just watch all of that?

[–]NothingtodohereOGW 140 points141 points ago

note*

[–]teh_best_speller 1 point2 points ago

[–]farkdog 14 points15 points ago

Er, yellow noise maybe?

[–]we3bus 2 points3 points ago

[–]Whytefang -1 points0 points ago

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]SwampNerd 0 points1 point ago

What gets me about this chart is...this pic is either 10 pts funny or 1223 pts funny for no reason whatsoever. Even with essentially the same headline in the same sub it's between 85 pts funny and 1223 pts funny. Makes me want to resubmit some stuff I already did and make sure it didn't bomb on a fluke.

[–]snowlion13 0 points1 point ago

i dont know why they bother, the gif isnt funny without the noise of the horn and the people

[–]random_person_a 33 points34 points ago

I would assume that if this happened enough (annoying the dog with a vuvuzela, dog shits, vuvuzela stops) it would train the dog to shit whenever it hears a vuvuzela.

[–]Cronon94 2 points3 points ago

You're probably right. Unless the dog gets punished after. Then what would happen?

[–]beer_madness 11 points12 points ago

More vuvuzela.

[–]uhmerikin 2 points3 points ago

You put THIS on, and let it just repeat.

[–]Dazing 0 points1 point ago

[–]Moffee 1 point2 points ago

thats also a way to piss off the neighbours

[–]Rudy69 0 points1 point ago

Train your dog to go every night at 2am

[–]tealie13 0 points1 point ago

dog pisses*

[–]wackyman3000 1 point2 points ago

or train the owner to play the vuvuzela every time the dog poops

[–]Me4Prez 4 points5 points ago

Send this to Mythbusters! He found the brown note!

[–]lifetrout 57 points58 points ago

Hahaha I love how dogs can be scared to death of something, but they'll stop in the middle of panicking and just deal with it for awhile to take a chill shit before going back into panic-mode.

[–]RealTalkWithDogic 36 points37 points ago

The funny thing is it actually stopped the noise. Dog wins?

[–]Cherrytop 5 points6 points ago

I do that too. It's called Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Stress/Excitement = Poop.

[–]octoquake 1 point2 points ago

What is the ratio of the value (Stress/Excitement) which must be reached before the (Poop) threshold is crossed?

[–]Cherrytop 0 points1 point ago

Oh it's gotta be something I really-really-really-really WANT or I'm excited about at the level of like a 5-year-old at a birthday party with all you can eat ice cream and cake.

Like, there's a particular guy -- not a full-on celebrity, but you'd know him if I said his name -- I interviewed him for the magazine I worked for (before he was a big deal) and fell absolutely in love with him. OH. MY. GOD. Like, full on rocked my atmosphere and filled my skies with flying unicorns.

I finally summoned up the courage to ask him out on a date and he accepted = diarrhea!

Same thing happens when I go on a job interview.

[–]Vsx 1 point2 points ago

This dog is not scared at all, it's body language suggests that it's playing. The video is more clear, anyone who owns a swissy could tell from the gif that the dog is being playful.

[–]leg4li2ati0n 0 points1 point ago

I've heard cats do something of the sort..

[–]BecauseiCan1 -2 points-1 points ago

Couldn't he actually be hurt by the sound?

[–]Paradoxide 11 points12 points ago

Can we please stop posting this every month?

[–]baowahrangers 3 points4 points ago

Hey man, I've seen this like eight times already. Each time was just as funny as the last. :P

[–]KennyFuckingPowers 7 points8 points ago

Sure, if you've already seen it! Anything else you've read, I'll go ahead and pull it off the Internet so it doesn't bother you anymore.

[–]TechnoTrain 0 points1 point ago

I have the poster tagged as "Dirty reposter" because he is.

[–]matt01ss -1 points0 points ago

Over 1 million karma in 4 months..

[–]Faceball 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, its so annoying that a certain link on a website appears one time a month! Impossible to not complain about.

[–]cal-badger 2 points3 points ago

Teach him to fuck with me

[–]Mallanaga 1 point2 points ago

The brown note's annoying soccer loving cousin... The yellow note...

[–]Fantasysage 15 points16 points ago

Poor doggie. I wouldn't blow a vuvuzela right in my dogs face, way too loud.

[–]PotatoGirl 0 points1 point ago

Yep. Everyone is laughing at a dog who was in so much mental anguish it shit itself. But torture a child, and ohh suddenly it's not funny anymore.

[–]Aycoth 56 points57 points ago

im pretty sure if you blew a vuvuleza at a kid and he proceeded to shit himself, it would be pretty funny too.

[–]BeLegendary 2 points3 points ago

I can attest to this

[–]xenorous 17 points18 points ago

I have to disagree. No one is torturing this dog. It gets so excited from playing, it pees on the carpet. Watch the video. I've had dogs that have peed when I get home and they're excited, or when we're playing tug of war with a toy they like. I'm all for treating animals fairly, but I think sometimes people jump too quickly to conclusions...

[–]StarshipAI 9 points10 points ago

The hell it isn't!

[–]BeLegendary 0 points1 point ago

You are misinformed.

[–]mama_llama 1 point2 points ago

But torture a child, and ohh suddenly it's not funny anymore.

Are you kidding? Reddit fucking hates children. Gifs of children getting tortured get upvoted all the time.

[–]PandaStyle 3 points4 points ago

The owner definitely deserved that.

[–]c_tsmith 2 points3 points ago

lmao, that's what he gets! poor puppy!

[–]Litter1989 0 points1 point ago

i laughed so hard at this

[–]EntiqueTripleAmenaza 0 points1 point ago

I almost bursted into laughter at a lecture

[–]krashaon 0 points1 point ago

the brown note!!!

[–]masterreign 0 points1 point ago

Wow the brown note does exist

[–]polite_fox 0 points1 point ago

The brown note in action. Only use with extreme caution.

[–]OakTownMormon 0 points1 point ago

PLEASE don't tell me I'm the ONLY one that is reminded of "Brown Noise" from South Park?

[–]Cosmo5523 2 points3 points ago

As soon as I clicked this link my dog started growling

[–]eatstheticket 0 points1 point ago

THE BROWN TONE!

[–]Dr_Schwa 4 points5 points ago

God Damnit Reddit.

I just lost my shit at work.

[–]Ieuan1996 0 points1 point ago

...Who downloaded that?!

[–]hiding_from_my_gf 2 points3 points ago

Did you go on the floor?

[–]QWOPtain 1 point2 points ago

Was someone blowing a vuvuzela in your face?

[–]Evil_AppleJuice 0 points1 point ago

God dammit I can't stop laughing. I even went on to other stupid posts and couldn't get myself to stop breaking out in laughing fits.

[–]futuramadog 0 points1 point ago

[–]healtoe 0 points1 point ago

I loled so hard I cried.

[–]whyjulyin 2 points3 points ago

brown note

[–]CrazyOldRussian 3 points4 points ago

This is the same reaction I have when someone blows a vuvuzela in my face as well. Good on you dog, good on you.

[–]QWOPtain 0 points1 point ago

You accidentally word.

[–]brandontoms 0 points1 point ago

Vuvuzelas make me do the same thing.

[–]SwiftLlama 1 point2 points ago

I still love the fact that it pisses a question mark.

[–]MrKerub 1 point2 points ago

Have you ever been so confused that you pissed a question mark?

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 0 points1 point ago

But that's not a cocker spaniel!

[–]benjals 0 points1 point ago

It didn't ever wipe.

[–]ItinerantDegenerate 1 point2 points ago

I break into people's homes when they're out and do this to their dogs.

[–]mightyneek 1 point2 points ago

This is what I feel like when I set our alarm off on accident.

[–]A_B_A_C_A_B_B 1 point2 points ago

That's what they get!

[–]grillsill -1 points0 points ago

Found the yellow note

[–]JimmyM0240 1 point2 points ago

Paybacks a bitch!

[–]THINKSITSACAT 0 points1 point ago

That cat got his revenge!

[–]jacktheripper678 0 points1 point ago

You might say that horn scared the shit out of him, hahahaha........sorry.

[–]rumnscurvy 0 points1 point ago

[–]keith_weaver 1 point2 points ago

I want to send this dog a box of Milk-Bones. What is your address?

[–]Oden_666 1 point2 points ago

Why are dogs so funny all the time? I can't even look at a dog without laughing.

[–]krustyluv -1 points0 points ago

I fapped

[–]upvoteluke6 0 points1 point ago

Ive seen this far too much , ohh lawwwdd what people do for some karma

[–]Kalanth 0 points1 point ago

Never seen someone litterally scare the shit out of a dog...

[–]mbrown9412 -1 points0 points ago

You're going to spew shit? I'm going to spew shit!

[–]newera92 0 points1 point ago

Scared the shit out of him/her

[–]rs98101 1 point2 points ago

Good swissy!

[–]My_Sonic_Boom 1 point2 points ago

Goddamned humans and their vuvuzuelas

[–]SurSpence 0 points1 point ago

Voovoozellas are clearly the canine brown noise. Maybe that's why South Africa is so shitty.

[–]MattyDred1 0 points1 point ago

Source?

[–]bchapman 1 point2 points ago

I thought Mythbusters disproved the existence of the brown note. Looks like its back to the Lab, a new variable has entered the ring

[–]Kinomi 1 point2 points ago

I don't think the dog is being forced to shit. I think it's more the fact that the owner is being a dick

[–]NoRoses 1 point2 points ago

My dog is just like this. Get too excited, oops, gotta take a shit/piss.

[–]Chester_SMASH 1 point2 points ago

It's the brown note!

[–]jfinneg1 1 point2 points ago

One day human's will evolve socially to where poop on someone's property or person is a standard way of voicing your displeasure.

[–]Viperbunny -1 points0 points ago

I think it serves the owner right. If you are going to get your dog into an over excited state, this stuff is bound to happen.

[–]craka 0 points1 point ago

take that, take that, take that...

[–]dontbeastranger 0 points1 point ago

CLASSIC MOVE

[–]vanillabilla 0 points1 point ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqv4Vviod0c

shouting kind of makes it funnier imo

[–]DALAILAMADINGDONG 0 points1 point ago

That dog is clearly nervous

[–]Thornar68 0 points1 point ago

I needed a laugh, thank you for this!

[–]mishtahJ 0 points1 point ago

And over the course of 5 seconds, this dog became my new idol.

[–]cc_cheeks 0 points1 point ago

Repost

[–]Apollo1970 0 points1 point ago

This is animal abuse. The Vuvuzela horn outputs 127 decibels, which is above the human pain threshold. And dogs have better hearing than humans. Poor dog - sadistic owner.

[–]poopsackwilliams 0 points1 point ago

It's the brown note!

[–]ScreamingBinturong 1 point2 points ago

THE BROWN NOTE!

[–]n00dleb00tz 1 point2 points ago

2010 was a fine year.

[–]rg5309 -5 points-4 points ago

So the vuvuzela plays the brown note? Must be why soccer is such shit.

[–]j0y0 1 point2 points ago

in b4 europeans downvote you because they think soccer is a sport.

[–]Jack_Latham 0 points1 point ago

I wasn't aware there was anyone on the internet who hadn't already seen this.