It had always been a joke between me and my friends, what if lizards take over the world? We would laugh about our different lizard pets in various rebel roles and then go grab some beers and chuckle anytime we thought of our little gecko brandishing a gun.

Then one night I noticed something different, my two geckos seemed dangerous, poised for something. I laughed it off and went to bed. I could not sleep though, thoughts of lizards trying to choke me out while I slept kept me awake. Finally I drifted off to sleep only to be woken a few short hours later by my phone going off. It was a FaceTime request from a friend of mine who owned a large iguana. "My iguana's missing!" She cried. Chills ran up my spine, I laughed it off, "I'll be right over to help you find him" I said. I looked into my cage on the way out of my room, both little guys were still there, still super cute, but I could not get past the fact that they were waiting. I decided to take them with me, they looked happy with this and began acting their normal selves again. Relieved I drove over to Susan's, confidant that Ed was just hiding under a couch somewhere.

Now three years later I write to tell you this, the lizards are not such bad masters. They are really good about changing my bedding and feeding and watering me. The change to a vegetarian diet was hard but they made it clear they were not going to feed us meat. We are let out to harvest grubs and plants for their meals but escape is not a possibility, it seems that every lizard in the world has banded together here in SE Washington. There were thousands of people who fought the swarms here but they were all dispatched, we spent weeks digging trenches to bury the dead in. I never could understand how anyone fought back, Susan and I never had a chance to even think of retaliation against the Armada of Aww.