the description is the best part

Da_Scuzzinator · 2012-10-03T12:07:37+00:00

This woman must be a giant. It says 6'x7', yet she is not even lying down straight and is almost bigger than the bed!

Cptn_Sisko · 2012-10-03T12:49:03+00:00

He's going to be so happy.

skyheart628 · 2012-10-03T13:05:00+00:00

Needs bacon blanket.

alwaysdoit · 1 day

It even comes with a stroke detecting safety feature.

iz2 · 2012-10-03T12:43:57+00:00

Oh no! Did someone say Burnt Toast?

whatifkennedyducked · 2012-10-03T11:31:35+00:00

Who puts their toast in coffee?

scullyismyhomegirl · 2012-10-03T10:54:42+00:00

Smelling burnt toast can be a trigger for a seizure, not a stroke.

Thanks, Canadian "part of our heritage" commercials!

otherben · 2012-10-03T13:09:47+00:00

On the one hand I feel like this was submitted to reddit as an attempt at viral marketing for this toast bed, but on the other hand I found it legitimately entertaining so I can't be too mad, but back on the first hand I kind of want a toast bed now and so I feel duped. Stupid effective advertising.

TheISOmorph · 2012-10-03T12:39:24+00:00

Honestly, the author deserves a fucking award. All I could think of was why the fuck somebody would buy shit like that, yet he manages to make it decently funny.

A747CHICK · 2012-10-03T12:52:11+00:00

and it's pat of butter not pad....

brbATF · 2012-10-03T09:41:04+00:00

Where is this? I must have it.

billylooser · 2012-10-03T12:29:53+00:00

I. Want. This.

gladiatusjet · 2012-10-03T13:11:28+00:00

Smaller related product. The reviews are the best.

Felicitatious · 2012-10-03T13:10:29+00:00

Shouldn't this be in /r/shutupandtakemymoney ?

lordboon69 · 2012-10-03T10:53:59+00:00

How the hell do they know I stroke when I first wake up in bed?

ltg313 · 2012-10-03T13:25:52+00:00

For the lazy, It appears to come from this site:

http://www.mcphee.com/shop/pages/Inflatable-Toast-Mattress.html

... but it's sold out. Sorry, inflatable toast enthusiasts.

dakiddo2007 · 2012-10-03T12:13:40+00:00

I'm gonna butter your bread

Chizum · 2012-10-03T11:50:28+00:00

Especially when yer high

Abdubkub · 2012-10-03T12:29:43+00:00

Rasta_Man69 · 2012-10-03T12:41:48+00:00

Thanks for this, i was going to give up coffee today until i read that description of a river of freshly brewed coffee.......damn you.

OfeyDofey · 2012-10-03T12:45:47+00:00

I have never wanted something more in my life

PainInTheBalls · 2012-10-03T12:53:54+00:00

Oh, go to bed? I thought you said go to bread...

PFCDoofles · 2012-10-03T12:59:08+00:00

every time I see an awesome product description like this I wonder if it was from QVC. I have a buddy that works there using his english degree to write that tripe, and I wonder how he stays sane.

lyrelad93 · 2012-10-03T13:06:28+00:00

169 dollars? I'd be a fool not to.

xRobbStarkx · 2012-10-03T13:10:48+00:00

Please enjoy laying across this toast while your salad is tossed. A complete meal we can all get behind.

mxbR · 2012-10-03T13:11:08+00:00

For the reasonable price of $169.95! That's some nice fucking whole wheat right there.

RaoulDuke77 · 2012-10-03T13:20:03+00:00

I keep having this dream that I'm floating though outer space on a piece of toast. I've been concerned about the crumbs and butter, but this would be perfect.

hpw24 · 2012-10-03T13:20:07+00:00

so is it real bread?

OompaLoompa4Life · 2012-10-03T13:20:25+00:00

I would have to have a stroke to pay that much

SwiftEpiphany · 2012-10-03T13:20:38+00:00

Vat 19! ... Dot com

Favre4Life · 2012-10-03T13:22:03+00:00

170 dollars for a blow up bed that looks like toast? honey, where's my credit card!

sprrd · 2012-10-03T13:22:38+00:00

Time for bread!

Oo0o8o0oO · 2012-10-03T13:35:00+00:00

I have a childhood desire to combine two of these and a ton of peanut butter and then hide a flag inside somewhere and go fish it out.

thestareater · 2012-10-03T13:36:27+00:00

pretty great ahha but i think burnt toast is linked to seizures. as someone whose been through a transient stroke, i didn't smell any bread.

hoboinatuxedo · 2012-10-03T13:42:51+00:00

THIS LOOKS SHOPPED / I CAN TELL FROM SOME OF THE PIXELS AND FROM SEEING QUITE A FEW SHOPS IN MY TIME.

callmemaebe_funke · 2012-10-03T13:43:05+00:00

Every time I see food shaped furniture it reminds me of the book, "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs".

Qoth · 2012-10-03T13:43:06+00:00

10/10 would buy.

YSCapital · 2012-10-03T13:43:15+00:00

Read it in the voice of Aziz Ansari

randumnumber · 2012-10-03T13:45:04+00:00

Most badass Pool float ever.

freethinker- · 2012-10-03T13:45:45+00:00

I usually have my stroke before bed IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

InsaneLampshade · 2012-10-03T13:48:18+00:00

Does the dropping buttered toast on the floor rule apply to this too?

I'm going to need one of these, a high building, and as much butter as it takes to lube this mattress up.

As a follow up we'll need to repeat the experiment with a tiger/lion tied to the other side.

FOR SCIENCE!

ThePeteVenkman · 2012-10-03T13:49:05+00:00

When you gots a toast bed, the bitches melt like butta'...

captchyanotapassword · 2012-10-03T13:49:06+00:00

This is something you buy for your kids' friends when they want to sleep over. It is too expensive. Wait for the price to go down.

widgetdude · 2012-10-03T13:50:34+00:00

What is this? An inflatable toast bed description for ants?!

lol__internet · 2012-10-03T13:51:04+00:00

This sounds like it's invented by Tom Haverford.

yeahhtoast · 2012-10-03T13:52:52+00:00

I don't wanna brag.

I don't wanna boast.

Thoraxe · 2012-10-03T13:54:03+00:00

That's a little pricier than the other inflatable toast mattresses on the market.

forogtmypassword · 2012-10-03T13:54:40+00:00

for those of you with cataracts:

Inflatable Toast Mattress

Breakfast in bed? No. breakfast IS the bed! Sleeping on this giant 6' by 7' inflatable Toast Mattress is likey to make you dream that you are a pad of butter and that you are floating down a river of freshly brewed coffee. In reality, you should not use the inflatable toast matress as a floatation device nor should you expose it to excessive heat. This piece of toast is made of plastic, not bread. so if you wake up and smell burning toast, you are probably just having a stroke.

Wolfman87 · 2012-10-03T13:55:04+00:00

Jackiechanwut.jpg

Mimsy_borogoves · 2012-10-03T13:55:32+00:00

Why is it the things I least suspect make me laugh the most? I had a bloody good guffaw with this one.

wetpoohstain · 2012-10-03T13:55:52+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru_FIwX1tb8

gride9000 · 2012-10-03T13:59:48+00:00

Pizza bed sounds so good. Imagine the pick up lines. "Ever fucked on pizza?"

dptronz · 2012-10-03T14:08:03+00:00

Go to bread.

silleebare · 2012-10-03T14:16:07+00:00

you are probably just having a stroke...

roadhand · 2012-10-03T14:18:49+00:00

Come on, retailers - add on sales!

Two big yellow pillows and a jelly blanket!

smilelikecrazy33 · 2012-10-03T14:19:23+00:00

"breakfast IS the bed" ... if you have an appetite for plastic!

Geekshriek · 2012-10-03T14:28:56+00:00

I dont know what I think about this...

Nukidin · 2012-10-03T14:32:16+00:00

How come I never find things likes this? Slowly I'm starting to think that most of these are made by the posters themselves or something. Anyway, I had a good laugh, pretty original is was.

dsalad · 2012-10-03T14:36:14+00:00

If I spent one night on an inflatable toast-shaped mattress and woke up to hot, buttery goodness the morning after, I would not mind having a stroke.

No, really. I mean that.

uwjacob · 2012-10-03T14:41:01+00:00

I like waking up to the smell of burning toast. Sue me. And since I don't have a butler to do it...

Doopies · 2012-10-03T14:41:46+00:00

$169? Is there gold specks in the vinyl?

Narissis · 2012-10-03T14:50:40+00:00

As a copywriter, I... would be asked to start over if I submitted something like this. :/

wumbologist1 · 2012-10-03T14:54:50+00:00

Why not make for her, a taco bed?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnjaocmr3X1qc2kbuo1_500.png

thedated · 2012-10-03T14:58:40+00:00

Just so you're clear, "it's made of plastic, not bread!"

UnluckyTamper · 2012-10-03T15:13:02+00:00

"so if you wake up and smell burning toast, you are probably just having a stroke." LOL learn something new every day

edisekeed · 2012-10-03T15:13:07+00:00

It boggles my mind that someone thought of this idea and was motivated enough to design and manufacture a huge toast cushion. I wish I was that motivated.

deadphishcheez4 · 2012-10-03T15:24:09+00:00

I usually have a stroke when I wake up, but it never smells like burnt toast when I'm done

yeathl · 2012-10-03T15:35:42+00:00

The more you know

ThePonyExpress83 · 2012-10-03T15:38:04+00:00

I wish they would have given her a light yellow night gown so she actually looked like butter.

Sacoud · 2012-10-03T15:38:35+00:00

I wish this was Russian.

In Soviet Russia, breakfast is bed!

neenent · 2012-10-03T15:57:14+00:00

Is that... Sarah Chalke?

Todomanna · 2012-10-03T17:27:08+00:00

It looks as though she's taller than the bed is long... but it says the shortest length is six feet... does that mean she's taller than six feet?

NotStagnant · 2012-10-03T17:32:19+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/3y9bs.jpg

TekkNurddYoo · 2012-10-03T18:05:19+00:00

That escalated quickly

ToastHater · 2012-10-03T18:14:16+00:00

I don't like it.

Semire · 2012-10-03T18:58:23+00:00

The end really escalated quickly.

waffleninja · 2012-10-03T19:08:46+00:00

Finished with the best material. A true winner.

typickyamerican · 2012-10-03T19:41:31+00:00

Obviously stolen from Marcel the Shell.

I_am_the_Werewolf · 2012-10-03T19:42:38+00:00

Relevant!

amolad · 2012-10-03T20:02:21+00:00

As advertised--by the OP.

aussiecanuck · 2012-10-03T21:31:27+00:00

so if you smell burning toast, you are probably just having a stroke. AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

xFarce · 2012-10-03T22:35:23+00:00

"You are probably just having a stroke." LMAO

lirby1 · 2012-10-03T22:44:16+00:00

If I ever did LSD, it would be on this mattress

youronlydinofriend · 2012-10-03T22:52:00+00:00

Ordered that shit. Will be here in 4-6 weeks.

OC_Slim · 2012-10-03T22:53:17+00:00

Opened link without looking at description > Saw length of description > Didn't read > Went back and looked at title > Read

Jinh0o · 2012-10-03T23:50:34+00:00

i want to buy 2 of them...

Flaaarp · 2012-10-04T03:57:27+00:00

I want that toast. I WANT TO BE BUTTER.

ansate · 2012-10-03T12:33:39+00:00

I've seen bacon beds, NES beds, Reddit Beds, and more. This guy just brings a bag of fail.

voysturr · 2012-10-03T12:35:28+00:00

I always wanted to eat a girl out on a piece of toast.

Tabdelineated · 2012-10-03T13:08:42+00:00

Who the fuck buys this kind of bullshit?
Seriously, just buy a normal inflatable mattress.
Who wants to sleep on toast?

derleek · 2012-10-03T13:38:18+00:00

breakfast in bed? NO! breakfast IS bed!

snakeysnake0 · 2012-10-03T15:55:48+00:00

Nice description! Made me laugh out my sip of coffee at work. It's officially gonna be a good day

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