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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]coffeemug20 847 points848 points ago

Mrs. Featherbottom!
Ok, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Oh...right, I forgot; here in the states you call it 'a sausage' in the mouth. Michael: We just call it a sausage.

[–]mike45010 215 points216 points ago

"Nothin wrong there..."

[–]coffeemug20 269 points270 points ago

Oh Tobias... you blow hard!

[–]JoelQ 181 points182 points ago

I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.

[–]frotc914 159 points160 points ago

Boy I would love to get in bed with him. And no, I wouldn't just lie there if that's what you're thinking!

[–]WalkerGeek 128 points129 points ago

I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, and now I have somewhat of a mess on my hands.

[–]DarthSontin 60 points61 points ago

There's got to be a better way to say that!

[–]spangg 18 points19 points ago

I will be your wingman. Even if it means I have to take a chubby, I will suck it up.

[–]Wworkin 11 points12 points ago

I just blue myself

[–]corpusdelenda 30 points31 points ago

Do these effectively hide my thunder?

[–]alienelement 52 points53 points ago

I actually was thinking it that time.

[–]badgrafxghost 53 points54 points ago

I'm looking for something that says..."dad likes leather!"

[–]niigel 46 points47 points ago

Leather Daddy!

[–]JollyRogers40 52 points53 points ago

I'm afraid I just...blue myself!

[–]Second_Foundationeer 11 points12 points ago

Gothic Asshole?

[–]Dr_Funkenstein_ 3 points4 points ago

"There is such a thing?"

[–]Vassago81 25 points26 points ago

You really should buy yourself a tape recorder

[–]saluja04 14 points15 points ago

"Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up!" Nothing wrong with that...

[–]tastypotato 11 points12 points ago

I must say, I'm in the processes of watching the entire series right now (Actually just finished this episode last night), and I love being able to finally understand all of these jokes.

I felt so left out before!

[–]toomanylizards 36 points37 points ago

Whenever I get a wee bit scared I hum a little tune, humdidididi...doo

[–]AscentofDissent 52 points53 points ago

Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time.

[–]Red_AtNight 21 points22 points ago

Mmm, I can just taste those juicy leading man parts in my mouth!

[–]RoostasTowel 31 points32 points ago

I can also sing a song or two, if it comes in handy. "When you put a squirt of frosting down your throat. Before we take our medications."

[–]codename_hardhat 6 points7 points ago

There had to be a better way to say that.

[–]DarthSontin 5 points6 points ago

You, sir, are a mouthful!

[–]APWTSIS 2 points3 points ago

Completely out of context there...

[–]JUSTCALLmeY 6 points7 points ago

no, no its ok, its Tobias

[–]vuxa 3 points4 points ago

Favorite scene ever

[–]frishdawgz 11 points12 points ago

There's a new daddy in town.. a discipline daddy!

[–]crotchcritters 19 points20 points ago

I guess you could say I'm buy-curious

[–]ibejammin 7 points8 points ago

"We shan't be telling your mum about this shan't we?"

[–]zebrawarrior 4 points5 points ago

You have got to read the label

You have to read it well...

in the most delightful way

[–]8_Tailed_Koala 2 points3 points ago

I read that as "badger in the mouth". Made the whole thing way more confusing.

[–]BigDawgWTF 14 points15 points ago

Tell me you've seen it. If not, I suggest you drop everything and watch all of Arrested Development right now.

[–]NJ_ALL_DAY_ 119 points120 points ago

God bless catastrophe

[–]crossbuster 58 points59 points ago

There's no way in hell

[–]MrFunnycat 41 points42 points ago

You'll ever live to see through this so

[–]benjibibbles 33 points34 points ago

Drive yourself insane tonight, it's not that far away and I just filled up your tank earlier today.

[–]citing_if_anything 24 points25 points ago

yay-ay-ay-ay!

[–]benjibibbles 10 points11 points ago

Reddit is good people :)

[–]Red_AtNight 8 points9 points ago

It's been a long day living with this, it's been a long time since I felt so sick

[–]Sacharified 7 points8 points ago

Drive yourself insane tonight

[–]gigreviews 30 points31 points ago

Alkaline Trio ALWAYS deserve upvotes.

[–]revolvingdoor 2 points3 points ago

I'm listening to this album right now oddly enough.

[–]bovilexia 10 points11 points ago

We'll ever live to see through this

[–]smoqueed 15 points16 points ago

woah i haven't heard that song in 2 years but woke up with it my head this morning... then i go on reddit and see this title... and you've already got it covered. awesome

[–]NJ_ALL_DAY_ 5 points6 points ago

Great name, glad I could help

[–]Transmatrix 63 points64 points ago

Makes me think of LA Story with Steve Martin yelling "wrong side, wrong side!" and the british lady driving saying to him "I don't think they can hear you"

[–]Poobslag 3 points4 points ago

yes, i loved that gag!

[–]tswpoker1 318 points319 points ago

[–]zmilla93 202 points203 points ago

It reminded be of this scene from top gear for whatever reason. The video is a bit long but it's damn funny.

[–]thenuge26 71 points72 points ago

Might be the greatest Top Gear segment...

...in the world.

[–]Itsatrapski 7 points8 points ago

...some say...

[–]Flobblem 3 points4 points ago

This Top Gear comment read like a roast dinner...

With extra gravy.

[–]WARGLBARGL 61 points62 points ago

map of europe, 14 miles lol.

[–]PTCruisin 107 points108 points ago

Oh man. I love that episode. When he got everything ready, and took that first left turn out the starting area. I lost my shit. Every tipover I was laughing.

[–]TransAm 15 points16 points ago

I still haven't gotten past the first left turn, I laughed so hard I started crying and am currently posting this with tears in my eyes.

[–]Tree_Phiddy 7 points8 points ago

The same here. "tipover" is the understatement of the year. Hysterical. I had to take a moment and its only 2:30 in.

[–]--Heisenberg-- 37 points38 points ago

Spoiler alerts!

[–]Russano_Greenstripe 6 points7 points ago

The last tipover, even after his engineering solution, had me rolling in the floor. That is the best freaking clip of Top Gear I've seen in a long time.

[–]iforgotmyusername12 10 points11 points ago

I was expecting this and you did not disappoint. I love that episode.

[–]DudeMan18 7 points8 points ago

This is Top Gear UK Series 15 Episode 1, great episode! Actually this whole series has quite a few good episodes including the one where they have to build their own 'motorhomes' (Series 15 Episode 4)

[–]larholm 5 points6 points ago

This is Top Gear Series 15 Episode 1

FTFY

[–]offmytits 20 points21 points ago

I just can't get over how different the new minis are in every way. It's just not the same car..

My (original) mini breaks down all the time, the passenger's door likes to open itself, the electrics don't always work, there's a puddle in it that never drains, you always have to have the windows open or it steams up, the clutch leaks fluid, the immobiliser is stuck on so I have to hot-wire it, the battery goes dead in minutes, the bonnet won't open unless you know the trick to my particular bonnet and it goes rusty so quickly that you'd think I keep it parked in the ocean.

But it's an incredibly fun car to drive, people let you out at junctions, come up to you and ask you about the car, share their stories about owning them, and importantly you never go without help when you, inevitably, break down in front of the traffic lights.

Edit: Sorry for the circlejerk, it just doesn't stop amazing me that BMW betrayed the whole premise of the mini, by making it significantly bigger than they could have.

[–]LoriLush 14 points15 points ago

Hey BMW isn't so bad, they just want to make money just like any other company. No one wants to drive heritage anymore, apparently. Look at what VW did to Porsche. The Cayenne is their best seller.

VW sells a PORSCHE

SUV.

AND AVAILABLE IN HYBRID FORM

WHAT THE FUCK MAN, ITS A DRIVABLE CONTRADICTION OF WHAT PORSCHE IS

[–]junglizer 3 points4 points ago

Well it really depends on the years. Unless you mean the R60, aka the Countryman. I dislike those. It's like "New Coke", why change the formula? But the R56 standard from '06 and newer is actually a complete redesign of the layout used in the earlier models, i.e. R50 & R53.

[–]PaulaLyn 2 points3 points ago

My first car was a Leyland Clubman - basically a re-badged mini. It was Mr Bean Green. My dad & I had to re-install the brakes, but even then you had to pump them to get them to work. My driver's door wouldn't lock (which my by-then-ex-boyfriend took advantage of and moved it 3 blocks away). The battery cables would occasionally disconnect from the battery while I was driving. If I went to put it into reverse (you had to push away and up), the gear stick would pull off in your hand. There were holes in the floor. If I drove anywhere near 80km/hr the tops of the doors would start to pull outwards. There was no suspension.

BEST CAR EVER.

[–]RunsWithBaboons 18 points19 points ago

I've just started watching this show. I now understand like a dozen more reddit jokes! weeeeeeeeeeeeee

[–]Travianer 10 points11 points ago

Literally a dozen!

[–]americanbiker91 125 points126 points ago

[–]mistermarsbars 90 points91 points ago

This video should play every time I try to watch something on the BBC iPlayer

[–]yodamaster103 12 points13 points ago

"Don't I look kind of british?"

[–]themysteriouschicken 8 points9 points ago

Perhaps if you're willing to lose 20 pounds.

[–]smcaulii 28 points29 points ago

Mr. F

[–]TranceF0rm 55 points56 points ago

Mistah Efffff~

[–]frotc914 40 points41 points ago

I'll never catch her, she was in the olymp-...just got that.

[–]evyajs 11 points12 points ago

First thought was of Alkaline Trio.

[–]jaythehitman 7 points8 points ago

God bless catastrophe.

[–]mypinkieinthedevil 102 points103 points ago

I will convert to the metric system when you guys convert to driving on the right side of the road.

[–]Stenbock 60 points61 points ago

If I'm not mistaken, a lot of countries already do both.

[–]silverkir 150 points151 points ago

drive on both sides of the road?

[–]mwolfe 180 points181 points ago

I see you have not been to India.

[–]10587comefindme 24 points25 points ago

Yes India has roads that allow cars to drive on both sides of the roads. Usually in different directions. Its the trucks and buses that drive down the center of the road that cause so much fun.

[–]MrNewking 27 points28 points ago

why do americans call motorized rollinghams "cars"?

[–]thechazbrown 14 points15 points ago

why do americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblers "pens"?

[–]MrNewking 18 points19 points ago

[–]spgtothemax 3 points4 points ago

This is the greatest thing to ever come out of 4chan.

[–]osoroco 11 points12 points ago

fascinating, yet horribly frightening

[–]alkane_alien 1 point2 points ago

What happens when a bus meets another?

[–]10587comefindme 13 points14 points ago

They have these funny horns and the beep at each other.

[–]--Heisenberg-- 10 points11 points ago

"Bitch, I'm a bus!"

"So am I, bitch!"

[–]iTimmeh 17 points18 points ago

Most countries drive on the right, Most countries use metric.

[–]krismagus 3 points4 points ago

For example, Canada.

[–]SleepyEel 20 points21 points ago

You should WANT to convert to the metric system. U.S. units are fucking awful.

[–]flume 38 points39 points ago

Whoa whoa whoa. You can call us idiots all damn day for actually using the system, but don't act like we made them up by calling them "U.S. units".

[–]Red_AtNight 7 points8 points ago

Hey now, it makes perfect sense that there are 12 inches to a foot, 3 feet to a yard, 1,760 yards to a mile...

I mean, I can do fractions of 1,760 in my head, who can't?

[–]BananaVisit 3 points4 points ago

Keep that commie bullshit to yourself.

[–]ofa776 12 points13 points ago

I just saw a pair of my gf's cutoff denim shorts the other day and I thought "I think a Halloween costume I might have!"

[–]ilikecommunitylots 14 points15 points ago

Perhaps Tobias I shall be...

[–]liberated_u 199 points200 points ago

British people do not say "Mercy me" ... Ever.

[–]brilliant_fungi 524 points525 points ago

It's from Arrested Development. Tobias is pretending (terribly) to be a British nanny.

[–]ProDrug 120 points121 points ago

Pish posh, old chap.

[–]Shellface 38 points39 points ago

What-ho!

[–]WalkerGeek 23 points24 points ago

Bully!

[–]MrNewking 39 points40 points ago

[–]sotech 2 points3 points ago

Was considering a fap. Now I will never fap again. Thanks?

[–]Jauris 3 points4 points ago

Why is this a novelty account...

[–]FishBonePendant 2 points3 points ago

*bolly

[–]the_awesome_face 0 points1 point ago

Buggar!

[–]VslachaTurbo Sloth 22 points23 points ago

Never mind the bollocks!

[–]Madrawn 20 points21 points ago

Is a turbo sloth like a pretty ugly cat?

[–]VslachaTurbo Sloth 20 points21 points ago

more like a cat with giant hooked claws and a mutualistic relationship with algae.

[–]Madrawn 19 points20 points ago

So a pretty ugly cat?

[–]VslachaTurbo Sloth 18 points19 points ago

Yeah, basically.

[–]PabloTheDragon 5 points6 points ago

Turbo Sloth?

[–]dzhoe 4 points5 points ago

I was also wondering about the flair.

[–]PabloTheDragon 4 points5 points ago

I have no idea what it means.

[–]Wargall 3 points4 points ago

I'm fairly certain he/she makes comics or something. I might be wrong. It's been a while.

[–]jbeast33 5 points6 points ago

How did you get that label?

[–]Turnip_Blaster 7 points8 points ago

All the assholes with the weird shit next to their name never reveal how they got it. It's like they feel superior to us plebs with their secret knowledge. Bah. I hope their hard drives get CRC errors....Although i bet it does get annoying getting those questions every time you post.

[–]dzhoe 3 points4 points ago

Although i bet it does get annoying getting those questions every time you post.

I've just looked at his comment history and pretty much all of his last 20 comments have been about the flair.

[–]Ovechtrick 50 points51 points ago

Really does sound more like something a southern american would say; I imagine it being an overweight, southern belle type on a hot day, "Mercy me, sure is hot out today".

[–]SteveRyherd 85 points86 points ago

Which is really fine because the character Tobjas is an American acting as a British nanny. Throughout the series the character is lampooned as a horrible actor. An actor for crying out loud.

[–]dreamqueen9103 23 points24 points ago

OH GOD IT BURNS THE FIRE sale. IT BURNS!!!

[–]isocline 14 points15 points ago

We're more apt to say "Lord have mercy." Or "Lord'a mercy."

[–]marrythenight 4 points5 points ago

I feel like the people downvoting you have gotten all of their information about the south from Gone With the Wind.

Don't think I've ever heard anyone say "mercy me" except for people going for that over the top southern belle stereotype, haha.

[–]isocline 2 points3 points ago

I was wondering what I had said wrong, since the above is actually what people commonly say in my area, but I figured "Hey. It's Reddit. Who knows?"

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

Are you a Rastafarian?

[–]spyd3rweb 4 points5 points ago

AWW LAWWWDY LAWWWDY, SHIT IZ HAWT TODAY

[–]CliqueMobster 6 points7 points ago

My grandfather does.

[–]liberated_u 11 points12 points ago

Sshh, you're letting them all know about it!

[–]andy__t 29 points30 points ago

False.

For the most part the colonies have stuck with the British way of doing things!

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Countries_driving_on_the_left_or_right.svg&page=1

[–]tiddermagic 16 points17 points ago

with exception of the Great White North (Canada)

[–]CurlyNippleHairs 21 points22 points ago

With the exception of still suckling from the Queen's teet

[–]WARGLBARGL 6 points7 points ago

look man just because members of parliament are asking for a royal inquisition into election fraud doesn't mean we're suckling her sweet titsimean...noooo

[–]online222222 3 points4 points ago

It would be extremely awkward driving to Canada otherwise.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ohreilly 3 points4 points ago

You could argue that a number of countries drive on the left and not just the UK, so it's an international standard, just not the international standard.

[–]FactChecker2012 2 points3 points ago

List of 10 most populous nations, which side of the road they drive on, and their population (in millions).
China R 1,347
India L 1,210
USA R 314
Indonesia L 237
Brazil R 193
Pakistan L 180
Nigeria L 167
Bangladesh L 152
Russia R 143
Japan L 128

So, 6 of the top 10 drive on the left.
Total population of those 6 countries: 2074 million

[–]UpperVista 3 points4 points ago

Oh, things ain't what they used to be.

[–]Anarke13 9 points10 points ago

Just came home from england, we drove on the wrong side 3-4 times but no crashes =/

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Brocodile 6 points7 points ago

You shouldn't have been on the road then.

I don't really see anyone making the argument that they should have been.

PS: Deleting your amazingly stupid reply to this parent response doesn't make you any less of an idiot ;)

[–]Soluz 3 points4 points ago

How could he know he's going to drive on the wrong side?

[–]m0nkeybl1tz 15 points16 points ago

Am I missing something? Why is this on the front page? This is just a screenshot of an Arrested Development joke; and, unlike other TV show screenshots, this one is only funny if you've already seen the show. Does reminding people of funny things they saw equal upvotes?

[–]sje46 42 points43 points ago

Does reminding people of funny things they saw equal upvotes?

Are you new here?

Yes. Yes it does.

[–]TheCruise 3 points4 points ago

Welcome to /r/funny, I'll be your guide.

[–]TheSharpestBulb 1 point2 points ago

I don't get it either. Tried to figure out if something had happened to make it relevant but came up with nothing.

[–]2Mobile 2 points3 points ago

i imagine this happens more frequently than people would care to admit

[–]mynameiskq 2 points3 points ago

I can't wait to be happy again once this show returns.

[–]JustBrowsing4Chan 2 points3 points ago

On a related note, I recently bought a game called Watch Dogs which is a bit like Grand Theft Auto set in Hong Kong. Lets just say I cause a lot of accidents and I don't give a fuck.

[–]yeebles 0 points1 point ago

[–]OPPAN_GANGNAM_STYLE 1 point2 points ago

Jason Bateman and now this!

You realize I have to watch all AD episodes again now. DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU WITH LOVE!

[–]P-Rickles 3 points4 points ago

Really? This is all it takes to get to the front page these days? No offense meant, but c'mon people...

[–]minodul 2 points3 points ago

I went to Scotland for a month and a half. Being the left-side-car-driver that I am , getting off the ferry in Rosyth, I shat man pants for hours before I could relax.

Overtaking is nice too, acrobatically leaning half over the passenger side trying to peak if someone is coming.

[–]fezzuk 3 points4 points ago

where you using an imported car? the wheel should be on the right.

[–]minodul 3 points4 points ago

Renting a car would have been too expensive so I brought my own car with the wheel on the left. The scots seem to be used to that tho. Many of the trucks and camping cars flashed the left blinker to show that I could overtake.

[–]slayerrrrr 0 points1 point ago

I fucking love Top Gear!

... that is what this is, right?

[–]ohnoiamaseed 3 points4 points ago

Arrested Development

[–]hornydeafman69 0 points1 point ago

Yeah thas right, 'Merica

[–]medhop 2 points3 points ago

This will be me when I get to America...I'm sure of it.

[–]stef47aries 0 points1 point ago

Ah GOOD sir! I do believe those other drivers have shat in their pantaloons!

[–]LeviW 0 points1 point ago

Try going to somewhere like St Thomas, USVI. Where you drive on the left side of the road, but all the vehicles have the steering wheel on the left side of the car. So no matter where you're used to driving you're still fucked!

[–]sonic_rukai 0 points1 point ago

Because I always end up on all fours...

[–]reddit_hates_freedom 0 points1 point ago

[–]citing_if_anything 0 points1 point ago

I'm glad that the first thing I think of when I read the title was what the content actually was.

[–]zulutbs182 0 points1 point ago

I grew up overseas and learned to drive in Singapore. EVERY time i drive in the US I just have to repeat to myself "right sides right... right sides right..." Usually does the trick

[–]TheNaughtyMonkey 0 points1 point ago

I learned to drive in the US. When I was in Australia I kept thinking "Ass near the center line."

Oddly, had more problem adjusting back when I moved back to the US.

[–]Laowai-Mang 0 points1 point ago

I've been in China too long, it took me forever to figure out what was wrong with this picture.

[–]benmarvin 1 point2 points ago

The car having the steering wheel on the left hand side should have been the first clue.

[–]HeartOverHead 0 points1 point ago

Not as bad as some elderly drivers I have seen.

[–]sub_zero255 0 points1 point ago

That car disappeared so quickly

[–]Karwano 1 point2 points ago

Whats this movie called :) ?

[–]I_Tuck_It_In_My_Sock 0 points1 point ago

I can't complain here. Did this a few times in the virgin islands.

[–]I_BombAtomically 1 point2 points ago

Blimey, I say, that gentlemen seems to have swerved his motorcar into the oncoming lane. Dreadful results are sure to ensue! He won't be home in time for crumpets with the constable on his tail!

[–]Nizpee 2 points3 points ago

Mercy, mercy me, that Murcielago

[–]mozingo46 0 points1 point ago

My family is from London and after 10 years of living here you'd be very surprised how much this still happens

[–]galwegian 0 points1 point ago

there is no shock greater than this. "dum de dum, think i'll turn right...dum de dum...OH FUCK!!!"

[–]wait_a_tick 0 points1 point ago

I'm a little lad who loves berries and cream.

[–]d0k3n 0 points1 point ago

Well done sir.

[–]Sarpedono 0 points1 point ago

Since when did British people speak like Mrs. Doubtfire?

[–]ordy666 -1 points0 points ago

The British have colonies again!?

[–]alkane_alien 0 points1 point ago

I did this today on a bicycle. To be fair, it was my first time cycling here.

[–]dubbin64 0 points1 point ago

Lol at people who think Mini is still a British company.

[–]whatwereyouthinking 0 points1 point ago

Great, that just messed me up, now i'm going to be driving on the wrong side of the road for the next few days.

[–]raz_kittycat 0 points1 point ago

My brain read this in Buzz Killington's voice.

[–]bromination -1 points0 points ago

That's a German car though and they drive on the right.

[–]wr80 0 points1 point ago

God I saw that episode last night, CREEPY

[–]votecommentpost 0 points1 point ago

It's funny, when I was driving in Jamaica it felt natural to driving on the opposite side. Perhaps because I was also on the opposite side of the car?

[–]hypernova2121 0 points1 point ago

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT SCREENGRAB?! CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKERS!

[–]surgeon_general -1 points0 points ago

There's this video game Sleeping Dogs that just came out. I'm an American and you have to drive on the wrong side of the road in this game. Well, I was playing a lot of it. I went out driving in real life after playing it, and I made a left into the wrong lane. I didn't have an accident, but I looked pretty stupid to the other angry drivers.

So, I'm verifying this phenomenon is legit.

[–]pdnext 0 points1 point ago

No shit, some idiot did that and almost hit me today!

[–]emilianoromero21 0 points1 point ago

Let me out that queen....