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top 200 commentsshow all 218

[–]nothing_pt 183 points184 points ago

From the pic is hard to see who is the bong owner and the laptop owner. :D

[–]string97bean 90 points91 points ago

You can't go wrong with pinning it on the dread lock guy because Jamaican.

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 189 points190 points ago

Yeah, those darned Jamaicans and their laptop computers.

[–]Magik-Waffle 41 points42 points ago

Something something the ol' Reddit switcheroo.

[–]pwnies 36 points37 points ago

You didn't do the rabbit hole links. No karma for you!

[–]Aeronniell 0 points1 point ago

Apparently got more than you.

[–]Forever_Awkward 14 points15 points ago

Bullshit. If it were his, there's no way that bong would ever spill. The water is a sacred thing for them. To spill it is sacrilege. It takes an awkward white person to upend a bong.

Source: I am an awkward white person

[–]ballzers 13 points14 points ago

I think I just upvoted racism

[–]insanetheta 4 points5 points ago

And because he looks stoned as fuck while the other guy looks like a bird crapped on his sweatervest

[–]wisdumb 2 points3 points ago

Jamaican me crazy, mon.

[–]karmetaphor -1 points0 points ago

Racism check?

[–]sellby 7 points8 points ago

That Jamaican guy looks pretty baked..

[–]BagelJesus 1 point2 points ago

i am

[–]chealy 1 point2 points ago

My thought exactly.

[–]sarcasm--detector 0 points1 point ago

beep

[–]CaptainBus 379 points380 points ago

Judge, I plead that I was high as fuck.

[–]InfamousBacon 90 points91 points ago

You have been proven guilty by the court of law.

[–]expertonbreasts 335 points336 points ago

Bring in the dancing lobsters

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Admiral_Blackwell 42 points43 points ago

You don't watch The Amanda Show =[

[–]JackkHammerr 11 points12 points ago

"...Put your beef into the hands of judge Trudy."

[–]Magik-Waffle 3 points4 points ago

*didn't

[–]CaptainBus 10 points11 points ago

Yeah, but it's TV court. TV court doesn't count, right? Like a Vegas wedding.

[–]prince_of_tacoma 12 points13 points ago

I know that Judge Judy actually functions as a small claims court meaning that those are actual cases with actual fines handed out. I don't know about the rest of the shows. They probably do.

Edit: got it. I misread an article somewhere along the way. Thanks for the corrections.

[–]tobiasblowhard 36 points37 points ago

He is not Judge Judy and executioner!

[–]WalkerGeek 3 points4 points ago

this is where commas come in handy if you don't know the reference

[–]Clownskin 0 points1 point ago

Hot Fuzz, mutha fucka. One of my favorite movies of all time.

[–]Mattcwu 9 points10 points ago

Sorta, everyone gets $X amount for showing up. Then they take your settlement out of your that X amount. look it up.

[–]thecooperiii -1 points0 points ago

This man is correct!

[–]helium_farts 3 points4 points ago

I believe they work as legal arbitration. But the show typically pays the fines.

[–]CAVX 2 points3 points ago

For most court shows, there's a pool of money divided equally between the plaintiff and the defendant. Often this is ~$5000, so $2500 each.

Court proceeds as usual. If one wins a claim against the other, the amount of money rewarded is subtracted from the other's money. So if the plaintiff is awarded $500 from the defendant, the plaintiff walks out with $3000 and the defendant leaves with $2000.

[–]rjhelms 2 points3 points ago

From what I recall, they are all private arbitrators, not "court" per se. To go on the show, you sign a contract saying you'll get $X if you consent to have the arbitration be binding and the hearing filmed/broadcast on television.

It's not a bad deal, because the person who loses the case doesn't end up being out any (or at least not nearly as much) money as they would be in a real court.

[–]Androne 1 point2 points ago

The world also gets to see how much of an asshole/dumb ass they are

[–]GreatBallsofTitanium 0 points1 point ago

But from what I understand she's not a judge of the law... she's an arbitrator and the people have to sign an agreement that they will abide by her decisions.

[–]jermslol 0 points1 point ago

Judge Judy isn't a real judge; she's an arbitrator.

[–]foxh8er 3 points4 points ago

MOCK TRIAL WITH J RHEINHOLD

[–]Ashivas 0 points1 point ago

They get paid for showing up, usually more than what your case is even for. So a loss is still a win.

[–]jaller704 0 points1 point ago

my mam and dad got legally married in Vegas...

[–]feistyfish -2 points-1 points ago

Someone hasnt read the patriot act

[–]foxh8er -1 points0 points ago

Very few people have, unfortunately.

I was surprised that my very liberal congressman voted for the first Patriot Act extension, but voted against the NDAA on civil liberties concerns. What?

[–]c3bhm 3 points4 points ago

Ultra-relevant Judge Judy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg_eflsOo8s

[–]diaspora 2 points3 points ago

[–]c3bhm 0 points1 point ago

awesome - I'd never seen that one!
"From the north to south east to the west" was badass!

[–]ac_slat3r 2 points3 points ago

Television??? We on TV??

[–]StuNels 128 points129 points ago

Hey crabman

[–]himynameismattd 75 points76 points ago

Hey Earl.

[–]helium_farts 27 points28 points ago

Have you seen Mr. Turtle? I can't find him anywhere.

[–]chotix 7 points8 points ago

What's on the list today, Earl?

[–]SirDerpingtonThe3rd -2 points-1 points ago

love this.

[–]is45toooldforreddit 30 points31 points ago

[–]thechickendance[S] 14 points15 points ago

Haha, I got the reference, actually. I dunno. In my book, the Crab People are always welcome. Sometimes.

[–]kerdon 1 point2 points ago

40% of the time, every time?

[–]super_awesome_jr 1 point2 points ago

I was thinking more blind-guy-from-Becker.

[–]LordSlugBuffalo 89 points90 points ago

Oh shit, that's Bagel Jesus.

https://www.facebook.com/BagelJesus

He works at a bagel shop in Buffalo and gives out leftover bagels to homeless people downtown.

[–]nanoprecise 15 points16 points ago

Hahahaha fuck.

[–]silletta 7 points8 points ago

That's amazing. I hope he didn't have to pay too much for the laptop..

[–]HyzerFlip 8 points9 points ago

On those shows you both get paid by the show. Been a couple AMAs

[–]yamahaahamay 2 points3 points ago

I live a block away from where he works, I see him often. He's a great guy, makes delicious bagels

[–]Anshin 2 points3 points ago

I clicked on his page and he has 420 likes. Not surprised

[–]captainisrael 1 point2 points ago

[–]Schnapplegangers 1 point2 points ago

I fucking hate that I know this but is he related to this dude?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3Mwmw9wSCM

[–]fackshat 0 points1 point ago

Amazing.

[–]BaddFishWorkin 34 points35 points ago

I object! He interupted me while I was watching Ow My Balls!

[–]6damien66 21 points22 points ago

I was batin!

[–]PancakeMonkeypants 13 points14 points ago

You talk like a faggot and your shit's all retarded.

[–]bounty1012 1 point2 points ago

You mean like from the toilet?!

[–]cwfutureboy -1 points0 points ago

I like money.

[–]R0FLMyWaffle 29 points30 points ago

[–]nanoprecise 3 points4 points ago

I wanna smack that silly smirk off that bitch's face.

[–]seenitcoming 1 point2 points ago

So do I.

[–]BBEnterprises 1 point2 points ago

There were funny bits, but holy shit that is an obnoxious show.

[–]_adi 14 points15 points ago

reminds me of the guy on Judge Judy that was so high that she had to throw the case out

[–]noodlejabb 6 points7 points ago

video of this?

[–]_adi 17 points18 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0u266b7guc

couldn't find a better quality

[–]DrLasagna 26 points27 points ago

Television? We on Tv? walks out quickly sippin water

[–]agreenbhm 14 points15 points ago

I like how the caption beneath the guy changes halfway through the video to "Allegedly drunk in court".

[–]shellwe 6 points7 points ago

Man, if i knew I was guilty for something then I would just need to act like this in court to get the trial delayed longer and longer til she gives up. Because he chose to be in that stage of mind shouldn't be her fault.

[–]_adi 6 points7 points ago

I know! Seems BS that this guy can get the case postponed just by being a dumbass.

[–]samtheredditman 4 points5 points ago

How does everything always work out for these people? You'd think that the people who are smart and courteous like the girl would end up ahead but no, it's the guy who shows up to court high who gets his way.

[–]92camaro 6 points7 points ago

Why does she expect him to say his social security number out loud in front of at least 20 people?

[–]DJBJ 1 point2 points ago

Ah, the classic 'too high to function' defense, the only one capable of defeating Judge Judy.

[–]Laez 14 points15 points ago

At first I thought that those were their nicknames. Actually, I am going to go on thinking that.

[–]MysticX 6 points7 points ago

Well maybe if he cleaned it, it wouldn't smell like his girlfriend's ass.

[–]ilivlife 5 points6 points ago

I plead the fif

[–]ShufflinEveryday 2 points3 points ago

Ah pleed da fif*

(Oh God I feel terrible)

[–]InfamousBacon 8 points9 points ago

I bet they were both doing the bong.

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 10 points11 points ago

I love that dance.

[–]CuseCB91 4 points5 points ago

I'm almost positive I graduated high school with the kid on the right..where are the redditors from the Syracuse area!?

[–]kristynseda 4 points5 points ago

Kid on the right is my cousin, I can confirm he went to JD.

[–]nemoTheKid 1 point2 points ago

THIS EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME. I didn't sue although I lost a $2,000 laptop.

[–]jestacado 3 points4 points ago

Kinda looks like Dave Chapelle's Rick James.

"Bitch, get over here and have sex with Charlie Murphy."

[–]the_television 1 point2 points ago

why is everyone a dick to me

[–]imfuckingawesome 0 points1 point ago

have an upvote!

[–]moocow102 2 points3 points ago

Fuck Tyrone, get your shit together.

[–]Kiwiteepee 2 points3 points ago

Jah Mon! Sorry I speelt da watah on ur laptop! BOYEEEE

[–]siperwrx 2 points3 points ago

I hope that white girl learns her lesson.

[–]wiithepiiple 1 point2 points ago

And next up, there have been reported cases of missing commas.

[–]kmj442 0 points1 point ago

worse, the answer to this question is always worse.

[–]spartex -1 points0 points ago

WHAT! YEAAAH

[–]blakshaggy 0 points1 point ago

worse...especially with all the depressing health commercials

[–]peanut_allergy 1 point2 points ago

Does it make me bad that i made an assumption of who the bong water belonged to?

[–]scootypuffjr33 1 point2 points ago

So... The bong was the girl's right?

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 0 points1 point ago

That guy looks like Crab man.

[–]dcaspy7 0 points1 point ago

Holy fuck I know who wins when it's:judge brown wink wink

[–]root88 -1 points0 points ago

Television has gotten both better and worse. We are in a golden age for television series; Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Louie, etc. However, we also have the worst reality garbage that has ever existed being consumed at alarming levels.

[–]qwert7465 0 points1 point ago

Here is his Facebook page, pretty funny.

[–]homestar440 0 points1 point ago

Someone tell Ron White to stop drinking near the laptop!

[–]FuzzeeLumpkins 1 point2 points ago

[–]palalab 0 points1 point ago

Worse.

[–]RzK 1 point2 points ago

I've watched a few real trials to study law and this isnt how they work.. talked to a lawyer too and he explained that shows like Judy Judy or Joe Brown are just shows and nothing else... Not sure if the cases are real but judges don't act like that.. its a very formal process.. they do get ridiculous cases like that but if you've noticed a LOT of cases on shows like that are ridiculous... reason? because its a show and they want it to be interesting..

I probably sound like captain obvious right now, but some people believe those shows are genuine and believe court rooms actually operate like that (which they dont) (In fact they are extremely extremely boring)

[–]MemeTracker 0 points1 point ago

I think I know who's guilty...

[–]stormtide311 0 points1 point ago

I plea the 5th dimension.

[–]EatGulp 0 points1 point ago

Innocent until proven high.

[–]umdiddly 1 point2 points ago

Jake's just lucky he didn't fuck up dr.becker's computer, just this kid's..

[–]poor_username 0 points1 point ago

Better Call Saul!

[–]SunriseSurprise 0 points1 point ago

Someone tell that kid on the right to be careful with his bong water. The entrepreneur on the left is clearly broken up about the travesty.

[–]agentdynamo 1 point2 points ago

Doesn't he look like the Jamaican fighter in the 2nd round world circuit stage of Super punchout from SNES?

[–]turkeyinthecorn 0 points1 point ago

At the moment, TV is both at its highest heights and its lowest lows. It's better and worse than it's ever been before.

[–]tsdx116 1 point2 points ago

judging from that, better

[–]leon_gtfc 0 points1 point ago

mike g?!

[–]superchibisan2 0 points1 point ago

WORSE.

[–]sammythesasquatch 0 points1 point ago

It looks like it could be their nicknames..

[–]gckallday 0 points1 point ago

The guy with dreads looks like the blind guy from Becker..older sitcom on CBS

[–]MegaDed2897 0 points1 point ago

At this point, I'd like to raise a practical question: Which one of those guys had the bong water and which one had the laptop? If you think about it, it could be either one . . .

[–]Pixeleyes 0 points1 point ago

It's weird how you knew exactly who owned the bong and who owned the laptop, isn't it?

[–]jack_monahan 0 points1 point ago

The dude on the right is such a dick for breaking the other guys laptop

[–]Ralle1900 0 points1 point ago

oh please let the white guy be the bong head..

[–]keepkalm 0 points1 point ago

It's about the same.

[–]Jacob5890 0 points1 point ago

This is my buddy Bagel Jesus. He was probably high as fuck.

[–]Asaoirc 0 points1 point ago

Darnell?

[–]Br33z3yb33z3y 0 points1 point ago

is that dave chappelle?

[–]MrTokinEdz 0 points1 point ago

Aw, fuck! I thought bong water did mix well with my laptop. Brb, guys.

[–]scrubtechRush 1 point2 points ago

gee i wonder which one had the bong and which had the laptop.... @_@

[–]Chrosbord 0 points1 point ago

Oh God I saw that episode. What has my life come to?

[–]vulpes_occulta 0 points1 point ago

That guy on the right.... it was his bong water.

[–]FatKhanMan20 0 points1 point ago

Is that little jon? YEEEYYYAAAAAA

[–]MPeytz 0 points1 point ago

Dude on the left looks like Dave Chappelle.

[–]Ryan_22 0 points1 point ago

So which one spilt bong water on the laptop?

[–]Electro_Sapien 0 points1 point ago

Clifford has really hit some hard times since Muppets Tonight was canceled.

[–]jmarks7448 0 points1 point ago

We all know the white guy was the one smoking.

[–]LarryTheSatelliteGuy 0 points1 point ago

This exact thing happened to me, it's a very long story but I ended up getting paid 3/4 of the price to fix my laptop and used that money to buy and flip drugs in order to get the remaining 1/4. Got my damn computer fixed though!

[–]papershade 0 points1 point ago

So this guy actually lives in my city and hands out bagels to people in need. No joke. He's known as Bagel Jesus. http://www.facebook.com/BagelJesus

[–]wookiesandwich -1 points0 points ago

Shiiiiiiitttt man, I didn't means dat!

[–]Endevour 0 points1 point ago

I wonder who dropped the bong water, and who owns the PC...

[–]SatansCheerledr 0 points1 point ago

Oh snap! That white boy done fucked up his laptop!

[–]justdrewit44 0 points1 point ago

I feel bad for actually watching this episode and knowing exactly how the case ended up. I need to do something with my life.

[–]Fivestarlesson 0 points1 point ago

Nigga got his computer broke. thats what happened right? The black fellow's computer.

[–]Chickenzrck 0 points1 point ago

Let's play GUESS WHAT ONE IS THE DRUG ADDICT!

[–]whatami1223 0 points1 point ago

Hey Crabman

[–]xRains 0 points1 point ago

Looks like the guy on the left didn't have any problem refilling it.

[–]Y_U_NO_KARMA_WHOR 0 points1 point ago

White people and their drugs...Its out of control

[–]userjoe9066 0 points1 point ago

Worse my friend, DEFINITELY worse.

[–]much_longer_username 1 point2 points ago

So the guy who previously had my room, his dog broke out one of the panels of my bedroom door. He paid for it, but my roommate never fixed it. After awhile, I decided to take matters into my own hand, and I have a cork board on the back of my bedroom door. Functional and multi-purpose! I don't care much about aesthetics, I just wanted privacy. I didn't do a very good job of securing it the first time around, thinking 'Hey, it's not like it weighs much!'.

I also had a nice water pipe. 7mm thick glass, external percolator, 18" tall. Tall enough that if it were to tip over, the water could be a long way away... So one day I'm entering my bedroom to sit down and play some video games on my fast new laptop. Real GPU, SSD, LED screen, the works. I open the door, and the cork board falls off, knocking over the water pipe onto the laptop. I have never been so thankful for the time I've spent helping friends who needed repairs to their laptops, as I immediately remove the power, battery, and make a mad dash for a screwdriver. Had that puppy disassembled in like five minutes. Dry it out, wait overnight... well, I've had it for more than a year since then. No warranty, of course, but I doubt they would have covered this one, so I consider it an expensive lesson that didn't end too badly.

[–]shultz63092 0 points1 point ago

Hey look there's Dave Chappelle!

[–]shadowsofdusk 0 points1 point ago

Anyone able to guess who had the bong and who owned the laptop?

[–]Lucho420 -2 points-1 points ago

The white kid probably owned both you racist piece of shit.

[–]shadowsofdusk 0 points1 point ago

Judging from the bloke's eyes on the left, he looks like he smoked a few bongs before he walked into court that day. Assuming my comment was referring to the fact he is black; THAT's racist. Bitch.

[–]theflyingfuj 0 points1 point ago

Local H?

[–]TheDaveHimself 0 points1 point ago

I feel like "Bongwater" and "Laptop" are their names and they don't get along that's why they're in court.

[–]InitiallyAnAsshole 0 points1 point ago

These two look like they could be the two main characters of some sitcom.

[–]cstrand31 0 points1 point ago

Why is Lil Jon hanging out with some pasty hipster? And where the fuck ate the East Side Boys?

[–]rememberalderaan 1 point2 points ago

Dammit Tyrone!

[–]edichez 0 points1 point ago

Bring out the dancing lobsters!

[–]Reformed_journalist 0 points1 point ago

Definitely. Bong Water is on the left. Laptop on the right.

[–]chelsplosion 0 points1 point ago

Is that bagel Jesus? http://i.imgur.com/wlJRJ.jpg

[–]faleth 0 points1 point ago

This show is very obviously staged. I was surprised when my friend went to a casting and appeared on a similar show. They just play on different stereotypes to make the shows semi-entertaining.

[–]LayF 0 points1 point ago

Anyone know if this show actually ever aired? I scrolled through the comments and found nothing, buts thats bagle jesus! I need to see this show

[–]andytheshoeshine 0 points1 point ago

Non-American here, is his first name Judge or is he actually a judge?

[–]unseemlycad 0 points1 point ago

TV is the same. It's society that has got worse.

[–]Vapour70 0 points1 point ago

TIL

[–]supermanxx 0 points1 point ago

reposted from last night...

[–]WisdomBody3 1 point2 points ago

He looks like Dave Chappelle.

[–]torchthedresser 3 points4 points ago

As Lil' Jon.

[–]cwfutureboy 0 points1 point ago

WHAT?!

[–]homeless_man_jogging 0 points1 point ago

That poor black guy's laptop is ruined and the other guy doesn't seem to give a shit. What a jerk.

[–]eeninety 1 point2 points ago

Better.. I would WATCH THE SHITTTT out of this.

[–]Ace_Marine 0 points1 point ago

Is anyone else strictly an internet user? I haven't owned cable TV... or a tv for that matter in 3 years abd honestly... i don't miss it. Hulu, netflix, and tpb serve me well

[–]much_longer_username 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, we cancelled Dish Network awhile back, and the conversation went something like this, according to the roommate who made the call after discovering it didn't work and I told him that it hasn't worked for months, I just hadn't cared enough to do anything about it, and that we should probably cancel the service we paid for but didn't use.

"Hi, I'd like to cancel our service."

"Oh, well what can I do to get you to stay?"

"Nothing. It hasn't worked for the last three months."

"Oh, well, we can send out a technician..."

"No, you don't understand. I just found out."

"Oh."

[–]jolp92 0 points1 point ago

Dave Chappelle with a wig on

[–]eight26 1 point2 points ago

YeeeeAAAAH!!! OkAAAAAAYYY!!!

[–]nomanoid 1 point2 points ago

Is that Tyrone by any chance?

[–]degar 1 point2 points ago

Damnit Tyrone, get your shit together! This is why we can't have nice things!

[–]TimeKross 0 points1 point ago

All of these court shows are fake and the cases are ruled on by a real judge before they go on TV. They also pay all court costs as well as the ruling. If that's not enough...its scripted...had a friend on judge Judy a year or so ago. Its all fake

[–]nonsensical_zombie 1 point2 points ago

No it's not.. You can look up how Judge Judy works. It's all over the internet, and as stated elsewhere the "contestants" agree that Judy's decision is legally binding arbitration.

But it's not "fake" and there's no "real judge."

[–]Mattcwu 0 points1 point ago

Poor black guy just trying to get his degree online and this ASSHOLE spills his filthy bong water all over his laptop!

[–]thechickendance[S] 3 points4 points ago

I went on the in-ter-net and found education con-nec-tion.

[–]Aquard 0 points1 point ago

Ok, so is that a jury in the back, or just an audience?

[–]bfogarty27 1 point2 points ago

audience, Judy doesn't need a jury

[–]Gjack 0 points1 point ago

Is that Snoop Dog ( Lion ) and Emo Michael Cera?

[–]WeLoveKanjimari 0 points1 point ago

I thought "Imagine if it was reversed, and the white guy was hte one with the bong."

Then moments later, as I continued scrolling, I realized it was not stated anywhere which belonged to which guy.

:(

Sorry, black dudes with dreads who love their laptops. Im sorry.

[–]architect_son -2 points-1 points ago

If you can't tell, then it is horrible.

[–]yesukai -2 points-1 points ago

Is it still racist to immediately think "the nerdy kid had the laptop and the black guy with dreds had the bong water" if that's exactly what the producers of the show wanted you to think when they set it up?