this post was submitted on
1,079 points (61% like it)
2,812 up votes 1,733 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,531,623 readers

9,650 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

1078
1079

Every time I try to cook something (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by shark_claws

all 33 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]nobleinsanity 20 points21 points ago

This use to be reposted a lot on Reddit, but they weren't lazy, they used the gif.

[–]Super_Dork_42 2 points3 points ago

Where is the other one, the one that's not the mirror image of the real one?

[–]nobleinsanity 0 points1 point ago

I searched for a little while but couldn't seem to find it. I guess i sood be ashamed as well =/

[–]Samkio 4 points5 points ago

This a repost

[–]snippybitch 0 points1 point ago

No joke, this inspired me (years ago) to get a fire-extinguisher for our kitchen so my husband could cook.

[–]greenthumble 3 points4 points ago

Everyone cooks everything way too hot. I learned this from watching wifey cook, realizing what she's doing wrong, and then realizing that I was doing the same exact things. I guess it took seeing it in another person before I realized how bad I was. After this realization people started really complimenting my food "these are the best scrambled eggs I've ever eaten", and "this bacon was cooked PERFECTLY" are my two achievements so far.

My tips:

(1) ALWAYS put the oven 25 degrees (f) cooler than it says on the label, or the range top 1 notch less than suggested. ESPECIALLY with electric ovens/ranges (which I hate but am stuck with at the moment).

(2) Set the timer about 25% shorter than it says. So if it says 10 minutes, try 7.5 and then watch it like a hawk for the last few minutes.

(3) Cooking doesn't have to be such an "active" activity. Don't stir so much that you break the structure of the foodstuff and turn the whole thing into mush.

You're not in a race. Slow and steady makes better tasting and less burned food.

[–]Trinitykill 0 points1 point ago

Note - do not follow this advice if cooking raw meat products, always ensure it is cooked thoroughly.

But I agree, cooking at a gentler temperature for longer always brings out the nicest taste.

[–]greenthumble 1 point2 points ago

I do my new slower/cooler technique all the time on hamburgers and ground beef. It's pretty easy to tell if ground beef is cooked thoroughly.

Though if you're cooking a big hunk of meat in an oven, you should definitely use a meat thermometer and test the internal temperature. But you don't need 500 degrees of broiler heat to accomplish that. Just a bit of extra attention.

Heh yeah I guess I do see your point though. It's easy to overcompensate when going from "cook everything to death" to "go easy on the heat" and end up with raw food. I've been lucky so far and that hasn't happened to me.

[–]semantic_satiation 0 points1 point ago

1.) Sounds like your oven isn't calibrated. A lot of ovens have a decent margin of error in their temperatures. Use a digital thermometer and see if it syncs up.

2.) Food rarely ever has a prescribed cooking time.

3.) Totally right. Saute is actually French for jump as the tasty morsels in the pan will start jumping around a little if sufficiently undisturbed.

I don't really subscribe to the Marco Pierre White school of "get away with as little 'cooking' as possible", but it's obviously worked for him.

[–]greenthumble 0 points1 point ago

1) Yeah I'm sure you're right. But it also means that every oven I've had for the past 20 years of living away from parents has also been way off (too hot). So ovens suck unless you get a nice one (which in an apartment you never ever do).

2) The food I buy often has instructions with cooking times. Recipes also have cooking times. What doesn't have cooking times? Cooking "from the hip" ? I'm not that good.

3) Yeah it was a biggie for me especially with pasta and rice. I was beating the crap out of it and the end result is a mushy mess.

[–]pics-or-didnt-happen 0 points1 point ago

This is my favorite Simpsons moment and I still didn't laugh at your context.

[–]peachbuzz -1 points0 points ago

Me too!

[–]ThatFedExMan -1 points0 points ago

Good thing I have 99 cooking. ;)

[–]sev0 -1 points0 points ago

Woah dude, this picture makes me dizzy.

[–]neopariah 0 points1 point ago

Back in the day, I once somehow lit some water on fire. I had a pot of water boiling on the stove when a flame travelled from the burner, up the side of the pan, and to the surface of the water, where it burned for a few seconds. To this day, I have no idea how it happened. There was nothing added to the water, and it wasn't an area known for having gassy water.

Future cooking experiments went about as well. Hence, I'm self banned from cooking anything more complex than ramen.

[–]Mozzarella_FoxFire 0 points1 point ago

Maybe the pan was a little greasy, and some grease floated up to the surface where it ignited.

[–]HiImTed 0 points1 point ago

yeah that sure was a funny scene from the simpsons

[–]domodomo42 0 points1 point ago

SSSSEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNN IIIIIIIIIIIIIT repost repost repost repost repost

[–]vmos 0 points1 point ago

STIR!

[–]Vikaroo 1 point2 points ago

Try watching Good Eats, Alton Brown does a great job explaining how food works and why it reacts certain ways.

[–]Pereb27 0 points1 point ago

Now add some cough syrup.

[–]teatimer 0 points1 point ago

Bring on the downvotes

[–]wildfire2k5 1 point2 points ago

What episode is this from?! I love this one!

[–]duglock 3 points4 points ago

The Simpsons

[–]TigerWylde 0 points1 point ago

Homer the smithers - Smithers goes on vacation and has Homer replace him. Homer decides to arrive early to cook breakfast for Burns - after several hilarious failed attempts, he tries cereal. which also catches on fire. He ends up bringing Mr Burns doughnuts to which mr burns slaps out of his hands exclaiming he doesn't like ethnic food.

[–]CrunchFlakes 1 point2 points ago

My poor brother...

[–]SUPER_HOMER 1 point2 points ago

what if homer obtained the power (due to constant nuclear exposure) to spontaneously create fire?

ex. Homer blows up test module van

[–]CaptchaKiller 0 points1 point ago

Did you create an account with that name just to post this comment?

[–]SUPER_HOMER 0 points1 point ago

why not its fun and easy

[–]DrkSnpr14 -1 points0 points ago

You couldn't even Google the animated GIF?

[–]birdisinfire 0 points1 point ago

oh wow ! This picture is so funny and original. I have never seen it before.

[–]thephoenicians -2 points-1 points ago

Don't forget the damn fire alarm. BEEP BEEP BEEP

[–]whoisgstu 0 points1 point ago

I tried to make a bloomin onion in my apartment. I almost killed us all!

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 27517 on app-145 running e103ce9.