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top 200 commentsshow all 234

[–]pclamer 134 points135 points ago

so your girlfriend switched service providers from one screenshot to the next?

[–]spinozasrobot 31 points32 points ago

Nice spot, although my guess is first one might be his phone since he's single now, and wouldn't have access to the phone anymore to get the "before" screenshot.

[–]Paran0idAndr0id 4 points5 points ago

Or his friend's phone, since she was talking to someone who wasn't him.

[–]PurpleSfinx 1 point2 points ago

No, on the iPhone outgoing messages are on the right. The first screenshot is probably from a different phone.

[–]Msj2705 -1 points0 points ago

It's also one of those things that doesn't even require photoshop to fix, though...

Just drag and drop in paint...

I am disappointed in the lack of effort.

[–]nuxeon 0 points1 point ago

waaaaaiiiit a minute -_0

[–]lunchboxg4 0 points1 point ago

She also upgraded to the iPhone 5 in the middle. This chick is impressive.

[–]Greyhaven7 409 points410 points ago

You're laughing now... wait till it breaks the ice with some guy she thinks is hot but never had the guts to approach... just saying... that shit could backfire hard.

[–]MationMac 145 points146 points ago

I need to get fucked hard!!

Oh, uh... I meant lol.

[–]toodrunktofuck 162 points163 points ago

I need to get fucked hard!!

Oh, uh... I meant I need to get fucked hard.

FTFY

[–]minercrafter2 46 points47 points ago

I need to get fucked hard!!

Oh, uh... I meant I need to get fucked hard!!

FTFY

[–]Rakydei 26 points27 points ago

I need to get fucked hard!!

Oh, uh... I meant I need to get fucked hard!!.

FTFY

The devil is in the details

[–]toodrunktofuck 3 points4 points ago

Good catch. I wasn't sure anymore whether the exclamation marks where included in that phrase. Should've looked it up again ;)

[–]Todomanna 0 points1 point ago

Unless she didn't type lol for the second one.

[–]nwbradsher 1 point2 points ago

Best to be straightforward.

[–]writes_inverse 61 points62 points ago

Day 1: Asshole boyfriend John plays immature prank on girlfriend and brags on internet.

Day 2: Girlfriend takes her friend's advice and puts a lock on her phone. Feels as though she can't trust John anymore.

Day 5: The guy she's texting in this picture asks if she ever put that lock on her phone. Then asks if she's mad at John. Girlfriend says she's lonely, she can't trust him and he's emotionally never there for her.

Day 10: John gets nervous because he's noticing her texting her guy friend a lot, plus lock on phone. Assumes she's texting nudes. Cheats on her for revenge because he's an asshole.

Day 20: Girlfriend finds out about cheating, finds out about him posting this to Reddit, explodes, breaks up, tells all her friends, guy friend is pissed, beats the shit out of John outside a bar, loses job, can't pay rent, commits suicide.

That's how I see things going for OP.

[–]tuzki 12 points13 points ago

This was basically my vision for this 'joke' as well.

[–]Industrialbonecraft 15 points16 points ago

Wow... you Redditors are really good with women, huh?

[–]aggie_moose 1 point2 points ago

I can't speak for the rest of us, but I'm really good with all of my women.

[–]tuzki 0 points1 point ago

It doesn't count if you're a woman too : /

[–]HittingSmoke 1 point2 points ago

There's an AskReddit post somewhere in the last step, I just know it.

[–]ZeroGSpaceCow 9 points10 points ago

My thoughts exactly. This isn't the kind of prank you want to do on your own SO's phone.

[–]HandmadeMercury 9 points10 points ago

If she would actually let something like that lead to anything while still in a relationship with OP, then from his point of view, I'd say "Good riddance"

[–]Greyhaven7 0 points1 point ago

Agreed... I'm just sayin'... don't shit where you sleep.

[–]johnbeeharvard -3 points-2 points ago

Yeah, cause OP seems like such a stellar guy based on this little performance. Clearly she'd be wrong to look elsewhere...

[–]noobpwnzer 33 points34 points ago

Not sure if fake, or just new iphone.

[–]JonesBee 108 points109 points ago

[–]ANUS_ODOR_INHALER 16 points17 points ago

You are awesome.

[–]littlejerry 1 point2 points ago

Any chance you have a link to a photoshop file to do this?

[–]JonesBee 15 points16 points ago

Nope, it's pretty much a manual process depending on what size of the screen do you want. Google iPhone 5, get a high res image. Cut the bottom part (with the button) and move it down, stretch the middle part until it reaches the bottom part (gradient mask for smooth transition). Paste the screen you want and fit it with transform->distort. Duplicate the part of the screen that is under the glare and adjust the midtones a little lighter to match the glare and add a gradient mask for smooth fading of the glare and you're done.

[–]TheGrimFandango 3 points4 points ago

You're a fucking wizard Jones, a fucking wizard!

[–]jontelang 0 points1 point ago

Or just use an app that does it automagically

[–]Dr_Fix -2 points-1 points ago

didn't last time this kinda thing come up, that it was shown that you can't put in things with spaces? only single word replacements?

[–]amuhammed82393 2 points3 points ago

Just checked it, thats not true, maybe for the reverse?

[–]Ali_Bro 2 points3 points ago

yes

[–]Alaric_Jenkins 85 points86 points ago

You should have changed "wtf" to "in the ass" for the follow-up text

[–]StupidButSerious 48 points49 points ago

and "omg" by "I bet I could even fit 3 dicks at once" since that'd obviously be the follow-up's follow-up

[–]SarcasticMC 20 points21 points ago

And then set "Sorry" or "Meant" or "Say" to "Bring friends"

[–]EnigmaticEntity 9 points10 points ago

Haha, I need to get fucked hard!!

In the ass?

I bet I could even fit three dicks at once what is going on!?

[–]long_live_king_melon 1 point2 points ago

[–]Alaric_Jenkins 0 points1 point ago

Somewhat, but hilarious, nonetheless

[–]liquidocean 10 points11 points ago

you guys should team up together

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]locklogic 14 points15 points ago

Clever Girl.

[–]tboy4 6 points7 points ago

What did it say

[–]locklogic 25 points26 points ago

The first screenshot is ATT, second is Verizon

[–]tboy4 7 points8 points ago

Why in the hell would he delete that

[–]locklogic 19 points20 points ago

He was silenced by OP, conspiracy.

[–]shreyas208 2 points3 points ago

Maybe OP forgot to take a screenshot when he was adding the entry, so he replicated it on his phone for a screenshot.

[–]locklogic 6 points7 points ago

Nope, Karma-conspiracy, as always.

[–]RenseBenzin 1 point2 points ago

[–]FudgingHell 149 points150 points ago

Your girlfriend's friend sounds like a stuck up bitch.

[–]scarecrow1 64 points65 points ago

Actually she sounds like someone who wants to get fucked hard...

[–]Piggysan 29 points30 points ago

lol

[–]RegularJohn1986 30 points31 points ago

I need to get fucked hard, FTFY.

[–]harperdarp 4 points5 points ago

useing that for lol from now on

[–]HandmadeMercury 3 points4 points ago

useing that for I need to get fucked hard!! from now on

FTFY

[–]derping 0 points1 point ago

she's probably fat

[–]der_logiker 1 point2 points ago

His girlfriend was texting her daughter. "Ew" is a pretty tame reaction in that context!

[–]camperjohn64[S] 1 point2 points ago

Her daughter is a total princess. Cute as fuck, but a princess.

[–]twasdreary -1 points0 points ago

You see it a lot when people get older. The life is sucked out of them by then and they're just depressing, pessimistic, and seem to have forgot the joy of laughing.

[–]ImTheMaddest 26 points27 points ago

Look everyone, this guy has a girlfriend.

[–]camperjohn64[S] 1 point2 points ago

4 years and going strong.

[–]ImTheMaddest 6 points7 points ago

Congratulations, Dude.

[–]camperjohn64[S] 1 point2 points ago

In fact, I think the biggest reason it's 4 years is because of pranks like these. Fun and playful interactions are key.

[–]ImTheMaddest 5 points6 points ago

You seem like a great guy, when do you plan to pop the question?

[–]camperjohn64[S] 9 points10 points ago

This is where it gets complicated. She has a 23 year old daughter (we're both 44), and doesn't want any kids. I have no kids, and want to marry a girl and have kids. I've been very upfront with her that I don't want to marry her, but I really really love her and enjoy spending time with her. She wants to marry Jason Mraz, I want a 32 year old blonde to have kids with.

[–]ImTheMaddest 24 points25 points ago

I don't even know how to respond, well, I hope everything works out for the best.

[–]BeautifulMania 4 points5 points ago

shoot for the stars, friend. even if you miss you'll land among other stars. probably.

[–]Pryer 5 points6 points ago

You are more likely to die in the vast, empty, void of space than to actually make it to any stars at all. Woo-hoo, pessimism.

[–]BeautifulMania 2 points3 points ago

hey, hey, i said among; i technically count all of space as being among the stars. it's a win-win situation that way.

[–]Pryer 1 point2 points ago

[–]faggotmoose 0 points1 point ago

Realism

[–]PurpleSfinx 1 point2 points ago

*had

[–]PKA1959 10 points11 points ago

Should get interesting when she texts her brother..

[–]x2GramDubx 4 points5 points ago

or Parent?

[–]beefnchicken 4 points5 points ago

Or boss.

[–]RegularJohn1986 2 points3 points ago

Depends how they reply...

[–]Dylanmharris 14 points15 points ago

i did this to my friend except i put kick a baby.

[–]Chuckaluffagus 28 points29 points ago

Aaaaaand you're single.

[–]1mk8 6 points7 points ago

You've never had a serious girlfriend if you think this would be a good reason for a break up

[–]camperjohn64[S] 4 points5 points ago

No we pull pranks on each other all the time. Last one was bubble wrap paper on her car tires.

[–]WDoE 48 points49 points ago

Soooo... you mean you pull pranks on her? I need to get fucked hard!!

[–]camperjohn64[S] 3 points4 points ago

well other pranks included vaseline on the shower handle, mustard packs from McD's under the toilet seat, bubble wrap on her car tires, she replaced all the cd's in my car with April Lavines "I could be your girlfriend" so no matter what cd or number I went to I would only hear that song. She also gives amazing blowjobs.

[–]RenseBenzin 2 points3 points ago

Vaseline on the shower handle? That does not sound like a prank. If you catch my meaning...

[–]WDoE 0 points1 point ago

Well played.

[–]HW_Plainview 2 points3 points ago

I am not sure why you are being downvoted. I thought it was funny.

[–]camperjohn64[S] 0 points1 point ago

I think ppl are downvoting because they think it's fake since I had to piece together two screenshots my GF gave me in order to build the complete picture of what happened. Notice the header of one screenshot says Verizon while the other screenshots show AT&T. I had to work with what my GF sent me.

[–]SarcasticMC 1 point2 points ago

OP, mind posting a follow up?

[–]camperjohn64[S] 0 points1 point ago

We are still together and she vows revenge. "I am sooooo going to get you" she said. She's a keeper.

[–]SarcasticMC 0 points1 point ago

... But what happened, screenshots, etc?

[–]camperjohn64[S] 0 points1 point ago

She hasn't pulled revenge yet. Except she has been rationing the blowjobs now that I think about it...hmmm....

[–]SarcasticMC 0 points1 point ago

Do you have screenshots of the texts?

[–]piltdownmen 4 points5 points ago

Hehe, looks like one of her friends doesn't like you, man..

(or one of her "friends" likes your girlfriend..)

On the plus side, your girlfriend sounds like a keeper!

[–]camperjohn64[S] 2 points3 points ago

The "Friend" she was talking with, was actually her daughter. Daughters never like mom's boyfriends.

[–]-Tejx- 5 points6 points ago

Oh man! You should have said that earlier. That makes it even funnier:D

[–]piltdownmen 0 points1 point ago

Her sense of humor is teflon. Marry her.

[–]rANDY_uK 6 points7 points ago

classic John

[–]ICouldEatAKnobAtNite 2 points3 points ago

I just can't believe that these are real. Does nobody actually look at what they are typing before they send it? I am fully aware how dodgy autocorrect is on the iphone, so I always read over my texts before sending them.

[–]camperjohn64[S] 0 points1 point ago

I looked at her phone beforehand and found that lol(enter) is something she enters often. It happens so fast that she said that even though she could see it change, by the time she hit the enter button, the txt message was already sent.

[–]dan_sundberg 2 points3 points ago

Something is not right. How do you have the screenshot of the conversation with her friend? kind of hard to believe she took it. Also... on the first image the provider is AT&T and the second one is Verizon.

[–]camperjohn64[S] -1 points0 points ago

She was willing to send me screenshots, but they were incomplete so I had to construct the top screenshot from more than one image. She was cool with the prank, but was only willing to send me one screenshot and had already deleted the shortcut by the time I asked for a better screenshot.

[–]IHeartSoup 2 points3 points ago

i suppose that's why you have screenshots of it.

[–]Mrdanke 4 points5 points ago

Assuming this isn't fake, I guess it's good that you showed her early on that she can't trust you around her stuff.

[–]m0nsterm4sh 25 points26 points ago

Some people have something called a 'sense if humour'. You might want to google it.

[–]mitchluvscats -5 points-4 points ago

you might want to google "sense of humor" just in case that British shit doesn't work in google

[–]pointless_chick 0 points1 point ago

Wait, this is real? I mean, how did he get the screenshots after this?

[–]JSLEnterprises 5 points6 points ago

Not very bright, are you.

  • Frame 1: AT&T

  • Frame 2: Verizon

[–]camperjohn64[S] 0 points1 point ago

She sent me screenshots on my request. She is totally cool and laughed at this.

[–]Anderz -2 points-1 points ago

You're assuming a lot there.

[–]IA_manwhore 3 points4 points ago

I did this to my girlfriends phone about three months ago. Except every time she tried to put "yolo" I had it switch it to "I love to suck dick!" She was so confused at why it was doing this at first.

[–]Vefantur 1 point2 points ago

yolo= "you only like oral" ?

[–]Saicotic 0 points1 point ago

I believe it's well-established that "YOLO" is code for "I do anal".

[–]dez4u 1 point2 points ago

Well your "girlfriend" certainly doing a good job securing her phone by letting you take a screenshot.

[–]camperjohn64[S] -2 points-1 points ago

She is cool with the joke, and she sent me a screenshot upon my request.

[–]Bobsutan 1 point2 points ago

challenge accepted

[–]Pyrarson 1 point2 points ago

Maybe the display looks a lot taller because of the way it was pasted together in MS Paint or something. If you cut off the top of each screenshot and put it over the bottom of the previous one, it will look like one screenshot.

[–]Flabbagazta 1 point2 points ago

BRB... ruining relationship

[–]KabouterPlop 1 point2 points ago

I don't have an iPhone and I've always wondered, does the auto-correct happen without you being able to see it? So it only auto-corrects when sending?

[–]camperjohn64[S] -1 points0 points ago

It auto corrects and you can see it, but it happens so fast when you type lol< that by the time you hit enter and it sends it, it's too late!

[–]Saicotic 0 points1 point ago

Same on android, and it only autocorrects if you hit the word, space, or punctuation. So I end up having to correct things a lot when they're the last word of a text or IM.

[–]SgtQuack 0 points1 point ago

iPhone is a little different. If you don't press the autocorrected word and press another key, it will autocorrect. You have to press the suggestion to ignore it.

[–]svane 1 point2 points ago

She says "lol" an awful lot..

[–]gadielwiggy 1 point2 points ago

its a shame, you should have also changed your name to "that guy who i want to f*ck me hard"

[–]johnjohnjohn777 0 points1 point ago

What did I do wrong?

[–]mitchluvscats 0 points1 point ago

I did not know how to do that with my iphone. Thank you!

[–]mr_pleco 1 point2 points ago

I'm confused, do people not look at their texts before they hit send?

[–]Wendys_frys 0 points1 point ago

No, not usually. I do though just to make sure.

[–]jamiyk 0 points1 point ago

why would you write that on your gf phone?! it makes you look bad!

[–]Starshield101 0 points1 point ago

Finally I finally laughed at something on /r/funny!!!

[–]kalleguld 0 points1 point ago

If she needed to get fucked hard, wouldn't that imply that you can't satisfy her?

[–]run_run_run 1 point2 points ago

I don't like her friend's use of "ew".

[–]camperjohn64[S] 0 points1 point ago

That was actually her daughter she was txting. Which was partly why she was so mad. She was also really pissed and kept sayng "What if I was texting my mom, or my boss?!?!?!"

[–]Pryer 0 points1 point ago

Why would you send "lol" to your boss? That strikes me as pretty unprofessional. Unless they are friends, I guess. But then it doesn't really matter.To me, tooo me.

[–]camperjohn64[S] 1 point2 points ago

Oh good point!! I have to tell her that!

[–]Bugos19 -1 points0 points ago

Nice repost. Made me giggle

[–]thr33pwood 0 points1 point ago

That awkward moment when autocorrect and autosuggestion becomes the same thing...

[–]ZackZak30 0 points1 point ago

The awkard moment when she text you dad "I'm going to camperjohn64's house, lol"

[–]jesuita 0 points1 point ago

well done sir! well done!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

classic

[–]ButterTime 0 points1 point ago

Screenshot from iphone 10?

[–]Xervicx 1 point2 points ago

I never understood how someone could type something and not notice when it becomes something completely different.

[–]IWantHer 1 point2 points ago

She did it twice!!

[–]Einstine1984 0 points1 point ago

Lies!!! Screen is even longer than iphone5?

[–]fatmasterruss 0 points1 point ago

Too funny.

[–]ShuckBeam 0 points1 point ago

How did you get the screenshot after the fact?

[–]camperjohn64[S] 1 point2 points ago

Yes she sent me two screenshots and I pieced them together. I wanted a third but she refused 'cause she was no longer laughing when I told her this is sooo going on reddit.

[–]Whyamialwayssohigh 0 points1 point ago

How does a phone switch from Verizon to AT&T?

[–]camperjohn64[S] 1 point2 points ago

My GF sent me screenshots but the top one was incomplete so I had to splice it. Good call.

[–]nismo92 0 points1 point ago

I think hes just discovered the perfect therapy to get people to stop saying yolo. That way they will always think of the phrase " im a little bitch who just needs to shut the hell up" or any equivilant to that matter

[–]chejrw 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only person who proofreads a message before I hit 'send' so this would never happen?

[–]Beastmode_ 1 point2 points ago

I still can't stop laughing... :D Got tears in my eyes. You Sir are a genius!

[–]camperjohn64[S] 2 points3 points ago

We were in Marshal's at the time she was txting her daughter. When I came out of the dressing room from trying on some stuff she rushed me and was like "YOOOOOU ARE IN SOOOOO MUCH TROUBLE!!!!". She was laughing though since we pull pranks on each other all the time.

[–]lazypengu1n 0 points1 point ago

don't these people check their messages before sending them?

oh wait! they're probably fake.

[–]tentativetheory 0 points1 point ago

Let's go down to the quarry and throw stuff in there.

[–]The_Incredible_Dork 0 points1 point ago

So wait, people still use "lol?"

[–]mangoman2 1 point2 points ago

First is AT&T, second is Verizon.

You lie sir.

[–]camperjohn64[S] 0 points1 point ago

Nope. Read comments.

[–]mangoman2 0 points1 point ago

I stand corrected, sorry sir

[–]kowboy42 -5 points-4 points ago

You are an asshole.

[–]K413n1 -1 points0 points ago

You're a hero. May i use this to my own advantage on my girlfriend?

[–]camperjohn64[S] -3 points-2 points ago

Next, duct tape bubblewrap on her car tire.

[–]K413n1 2 points3 points ago

Thats a good one. My favorite so far has been my girl hit me in the balls, so i put baby powder in the hair dryer. It's like an auto antique machine haha.

[–]lyxDeslic_ -2 points-1 points ago

Me no understand why you do that to yo girl? You want guys getting at you randomly and askin why god put them on this earth to take yo bitch?

[–]Anderz 3 points4 points ago

You're not welcome here, Jar Jar.

[–]Loki4089 1 point2 points ago

I understand and agree with your point; but shit man: "yo"? is it that hard to do one more keystroke for the "u".

[–]piltdownmen 10 points11 points ago

"why you do that to you girl"?

This..isn't much of an improvement..

[–]Baddiekins 9 points10 points ago

Well, the "yo"s made me read it in jive-voice, so I think its okay.

[–]1nf1del 0 points1 point ago

[–]1nf1del 0 points1 point ago

"you girl"?

[–]lyxDeslic_ 1 point2 points ago

My friend, I type it the same way it would be pronounced. My mastery of the English language is beyond even my own comprehension.

When's the last time you heard someone say, "Excuse me sir, hast god not put me on this green earth to obtain your woman?"

[–]Loki4089 0 points1 point ago

I withdraw my criticism.

[–]thagrrrl79 -2 points-1 points ago

And that is why I keep my phone locked. I have friends that do things like that, not to mention I do it. I once spent 10 minutes (this was 10 yrs ago, wasn't as easy to get to settings) setting a drunk girl's phone to Mandarin.

[–]belleayreski2 -4 points-3 points ago

DYAC moment? do people really think of that first over fuck you auto correct?

[–]x2GramDubx 0 points1 point ago

did someone mess with YOUR autocorrect?

[–]I_HAVE_MANY_HANDS 0 points1 point ago

You are now tagged "Extensively reads iPhone autocorrect blogs"

[–]Solous -1 points0 points ago

In my friend's iPhone, I substituted "the" with nigger

He didn't realize until he was called out on this by his mom. Good times.

[–]ShitOnMyFartingBoner -2 points-1 points ago

So how did you get these screencaps? Fake bullshit, fuck off

[–]Fjellburger 0 points1 point ago

I did the right thing, this post is now leet! http://imgur.com/o6Sel

[–]Fjellburger -1 points0 points ago

Nevermind.

[–]wookiesandwich -1 points0 points ago

doesn't say much about your prowess does it?