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all 192 comments

[–]peterkingsnuggets 139 points140 points ago

That's what the sunroom is for.

[–]horse_you_rode_in_on 126 points127 points ago

That's what the sunroom solarium is for.

... it's classier that way.

[–]NotaMethAddict 51 points52 points ago

Shit, I've been doing my cocaine in the wrong place the entire time. That is much classier.

[–]GreyCastle 21 points22 points ago

The question now is, are you addicted to cocaine?

[–]Mjolnirium 126 points127 points ago

I don't do cocaine... I just like the way it smells

[–]ribena_wrath -3 points-2 points ago

Yeah same here dude! I like to try and get it as close to my nostrils as possible, and quite often ill get a little dust in my nose but it always works out in the end.

[–]potato_of_wrath 1 point2 points ago

A fellow wrathful trying to push you to the positives

[–]ribena_wrath 2 points3 points ago

Ah... Potato... We meet again. It's been a long time since I felt your negative wrath. Leave this changed man be the man I inspire him to be.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]betterthanthou 22 points23 points ago

-10/10 would downvote again

[–]ribena_wrath 7 points8 points ago

WHAT DID HE SAY!?

[–]Delicaterapist 11 points12 points ago

There definitely needs to be a novelty account that shows deleted comments.

[–]Teneniel 1 point2 points ago

Dirty_Delete_Exposé

[–]betterthanthou 0 points1 point ago

I'm taking it with me to the grave.

[–]Sea_Bitch 5 points6 points ago

nobody cares

[–]Mjolnirium -1 points0 points ago

Please just stop. This is one thing that bugs me about this site. Someone like TrappedInReddit has himself a laugh by reposting top comments in reposts (which is now being done by a bot), gets driven off and lynched. Yet some unfunny fuckwit with a pointless novelty account just collects downvotes

[–]shazzam6999 5 points6 points ago

Because nobody cares enough about 9gagwhoever to go get pitchforks. Trappedinreddit was a prominent part of the community.

[–]eamantite 0 points1 point ago

I kinda like it, Its how I figured out why Apostolate is such a douchefuck...

[–]space_monster 0 points1 point ago

has he gone? did he leave a note? I didn't see him leave.

[–]Argueswithchildren 0 points1 point ago

Come to think of it, I haven't seen Apostolate's comments in a while. I miss them. Go ahead, down vote me to the bowels of the bathroom where I can do a few lines of coke...

[–]TheActor 0 points1 point ago

Your own mother? Holy shit, you have problems.

[–]chunkofcoal 0 points1 point ago

"Mother" was not mentioned.

[–]NotaMethAddict 6 points7 points ago

...Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.

It's a harsh truth.

[–]productionx 1 point2 points ago

The problem with cocaine is that to check it you have to give it a smell test.

[–]G182 5 points6 points ago

And rub some on your gums.

[–]cleffyowns 2 points3 points ago

Somebody sell this guy some Lidocaine

[–]space_monster 0 points1 point ago

and inject some into your penis.

[–]ClockworkYellow 2 points3 points ago

[–]Crawk_Bro 6 points7 points ago

Original comic.

I think that is a bastardised funnyjunk version.

[–]McWuvin 2 points3 points ago

Doing cocaine in class is the classiest way to do it.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

Nah, sunken living room with grey shag carpet, a hi-fi playing Night Ranger, and a Chinese waif named Cosmo wandering around throwing firecrackers.

[–]ZeusMcFly 4 points5 points ago

NOW THATS (SNIFF) WHAT I CALL A TUESDAY NIGHT~!

[–]ScarlettTakesATumble 2 points3 points ago

Better bring guns!

[–]red321red321 23 points24 points ago

That's what co-eds butts are for. Neil Patrick Harris style.

[–]merrilyoff2hell 9 points10 points ago

That's funny! Have an upvo-

Wait...no.

That's what the powder room is for.

Ahahaha...jokes of the seventies...1870s...

[–]PlaidLumberJack 6 points7 points ago

I prefer to party like Charlie Sheen, but I respect our differences.

[–]peterkingsnuggets 3 points4 points ago

With two and a half men?

[–]never_not_relevant 1 point2 points ago

Not anymore

[–]peterkingsnuggets 1 point2 points ago

I'm not sure if this comment makes reference to the fact that Sheen is no longer on the show or the fact that, when you party with Charlie Sheen, it is quite possible that some of the individuals with whom you are cavorting may not have the same gender as they had in the past.

[–]w2tpmf 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, but like this.

[–]peterkingsnuggets 0 points1 point ago

I was thinking more Sun Yaoting, but your interpretation is apt.

[–]kenttouchthis 0 points1 point ago

who has a sunroom while in college?

[–]peterkingsnuggets 0 points1 point ago

[–]kenttouchthis 0 points1 point ago

live at home?

[–]ribena_wrath 0 points1 point ago

just put it in your tea!

[–]Dave_Dietz 104 points105 points ago

I was going to make a joke about cross stitch vs. embroidery but then I fact checked myself and found out that cross stitch is technically considered a form of embroidery. So now I has a sad but not a dumb. :-(

[–]Wakasaki_Rocky 45 points46 points ago

Phew... major faux pas avoided. You probably would have been banned from reddit for that mistake. Jail time likely as well.

[–]undiplomatik 4 points5 points ago

You think that's bad? My boss once killed someone for saying "pacifically" when she was supposed to say "specifically."

[–]Battletooth 0 points1 point ago

Then he later realized she used the correct word. She was saying that she was pacifically approaching a stranger. She meant it in the form as in peacefully approaching a stranger. She was going to talk about how she was going to give that stranger some money after work that day.

[–]gitsgrl 5 points6 points ago

:::runs to check if crocheting is a form of knitting before it comes up:::

[–]Homo_erotic_toile 9 points10 points ago

Phew, I was going to say the same thing. My husband advised me otherwise. Way to go Hubs.

[–]ohwhatohwow[S] 5 points6 points ago

The fact that I got that right is pure luck then. Stitching methods are not really my forte.

[–]waffleninja 0 points1 point ago

That bitch ALMOST came to thew wrong neighborhood.

[–]sillyokio 0 points1 point ago

While it is a form of embroidery (and I was going to do the same thing myself when I first saw this thread), it annoys me to no end how people use the terms interchangeably.

[–]Antaresia 0 points1 point ago

Counted work takes a little less skill than freehand, but more patience. The real drama in the embroidery community happens when scrap-book people come in and claim they "make crafts" too.

Feel free to pounce on anyone who calls all forms of embroidery "needlepoint" though, it happens often enough.

[–]space_monster 0 points1 point ago

LOL embroidery noob.

gtfo

[–]kc7wbq -3 points-2 points ago

I guess that's what they mean when they say "ignorance is bliss."

[–]tehweave 37 points38 points ago

Can I do Pepsi in the bathroom?

Or heroin?

[–]WillBlaze 9 points10 points ago

yes, and yes

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Chewzilla 6 points7 points ago

do*

[–]seattleque 33 points34 points ago

She's right. You're supposed to do it off the ass of a hooker lying on the dining table.

[–]MuxBoy 20 points21 points ago

Bonus points if it's a dead hooker.

[–]ScarlettTakesATumble 9 points10 points ago

Extra bonus points if the hooker was killed just to make you think you killed her and then blackmail you into signing the law that allows your gambling.

[–]snailwithmonocle 7 points8 points ago

Is this a reference or are you just batshit crazy?

[–]PolarTheBear 2 points3 points ago

yeah

[–]seattleque 2 points3 points ago

Godfather II.

[–]Softcorps_dn 3 points4 points ago

Call girl, Cyril.

[–]seattleque 3 points4 points ago

...when they're dead they're just hookers!

[–]sionb 0 points1 point ago

[–]I_just_want_RES 11 points12 points ago

[–]SchofieldSilver 8 points9 points ago

Not much of a kit if it's already done when you get it.

[–]emperorpotatoketchup 11 points12 points ago

Wow, I can do cross-stitch, frame it and sell it for $50. I'm in the wrong business.

[–]sassifrassilassi 15 points16 points ago

notice the listing says "for sale" and not "sold."

[–]FLX 0 points1 point ago

It does now!

[–]space_monster 0 points1 point ago

you have to hang it, ffs.

[–]Ryguylv 18 points19 points ago

WHO IS HER??

[–]livejamie -1 points0 points ago

her?

[–]thirdfounder 8 points9 points ago

QUIT TRYING TO CONTROL ME, MOM!

[–]e9r0q2eropqweopo 8 points9 points ago

[–]Se7en_Sinner 18 points19 points ago

[–]the_penultimate_user 3 points4 points ago

Its even funnier if you read the colors. " Worship Glue, Sniff Satan".

[–]lllllllillllllllllll 8 points9 points ago

Wow. Not only did she embroider you something, she gave you great advice too!

She's a keeper

[–]NotaMethAddict 43 points44 points ago

Spoiler: It's his mom

[–]peterkingsnuggets 12 points13 points ago

It's a helluva drug!

[–]Ethanolica 7 points8 points ago

Hugs not drugs = false choice. You can have both!

[–]gitsgrl 6 points7 points ago

Best is ecstasy and hugs.

[–]helium_farts 0 points1 point ago

I see no problem with this.

[–]Cellis_ 2 points3 points ago

No idea how useful that embroidering would have been for our parties at my last house. Would have saved a lot of awkward group trips to our bathroom.

[–]thenewjerk 3 points4 points ago

The one my cousin just made for me reads: "Man without moustache is like woman with moustache"

[–]brainlechuga 1 point2 points ago

I tripped while shitting my pants and got diarrhea all over my nuts

[–]otac0n 0 points1 point ago

Uh... O.... OK?

[–]HailYurii 1 point2 points ago

Why do it in the bathroom when you can do it off my penis?

[–]space_monster 0 points1 point ago

because smegma.

[–]kubina1 2 points3 points ago

good call.. proactive avoidance of those long, long lines for lines. never a good time when you feel like you have to say "oh, I'm sorry for pissing in the cocaine room"

[–]Punkrock_Buddha 1 point2 points ago

My college embroideries were always sex related, rarely drugs. Thanks Mom.

[–]Offensive_Brute 2 points3 points ago

doing coke in the bathroom is inconsiderate. You are tying up the restroom doing something you could do elsewhere.

[–]eire1228 1 point2 points ago

classic child mistake: they think they invented drugs....

[–]sixpacschic 2 points3 points ago

One of my friends has a cross-stitch that says "Shut your whore mouth" in her kitchen. Way classy.

[–]space_monster 0 points1 point ago

this one?

I want this one now.

[–]Kerbobotat 2 points3 points ago

I finally understand why some girls have to go "Powder their nose" three or four times a night.

[–]Lord_Bumberchute 2 points3 points ago

The kitchen is a much better place for that sort of activity.

[–]Fangs78 2 points3 points ago

I agree...sharing is caring.

[–]futuramadog 4 points5 points ago

No coke, pepsi!

[–]paby 0 points1 point ago

I've been to parties where things went bad after the host finding out coke was done in the bathroom, and they were not OK with this.

This is pretty solid advice for a cross-stitch.

[–]Thizzlbafool 17 points18 points ago

That host should chill the fuck out

[–]paby 3 points4 points ago

The later of the two instances this happened was when the host was house-sitting for his mom. And the coke-guy was a good friend that should have known better.

I've been to parties where similar/arguably worse things were going on. The general rule is "don't die here, and don't get the host arrested". At least have the decency to figure out if it's gonna be "that kind of party" before you partake in extra refreshments.

[–]WillBlaze 4 points5 points ago

Don't die here, walk your ass down the street to the Denny's to die.

[–]rawrzapan 0 points1 point ago

Why would it mater if it was his moms house? What if he just made sure there was no residue?

[–]InfamousBacon 0 points1 point ago

You should pour some coca cola on the bathroom floor.

[–]theoneandonly111 1 point2 points ago

Your grandmother speaks from experience

[–]Dusted_Hoffman 0 points1 point ago

But, but that's the best spot. Ugggghhhh!

[–]tab021 1 point2 points ago

aka, your Mom had more fun at college than you

[–]meta_asfuck 1 point2 points ago

How does it affect you if other people do coke in the bathroom though? (I'm assuming it's a shared bathroom)

[–]jxk 0 points1 point ago

I'm assuming he doesn't want drugs in his home, and people generally hide in the bathroom to do them.

[–]Aububuh -1 points0 points ago

Put a can of Coca-Cola in the bathroom.

[–]Dandeman321 1 point2 points ago

And no sex in the champagne room.

[–]southamerican_man 0 points1 point ago

There's a sing just like that at a tattoo parlor I go to.

[–]renome 1 point2 points ago

If you have money for coke, you must be in a fancy college. Props to you.

[–]eldruDtheWhiteWizard 0 points1 point ago

notice how coke bathroom is the only bold words

[–]Faro7453 0 points1 point ago

I would say snuff bottle. Have a old dragon one. Gotta love the love though. <3

[–]dacacheman 0 points1 point ago

If you do, leave a bump under the sink.

[–]tferullo 0 points1 point ago

ahhhh but heroin..... heroin is fine

[–]sqrt-1loveyou 1 point2 points ago

That's what iPod touches and iPhones are for.

Seriously.

All you need is a plastic card and a dollar bill.

Any old place will do.

[–]bridgetayyy 0 points1 point ago

Perfect :)

[–]farcydoolittle 0 points1 point ago

Your mother has obviously been to college. I must say I would be disturbed to see this. No one wants to know their mother was one of the cool kids in school.

[–]ZeusMcFly 2 points3 points ago

If it wasn't for cocaine and no-name brand condoms I wouldn't be alive right now.

[–]The_Fuckman 0 points1 point ago

It's only a suggestion.

[–]loveliestwords 0 points1 point ago

[–]deltefknieschlaeger -1 points0 points ago

Your mother did coke in a bathroom

[–]norse1977 0 points1 point ago

Pls check white balance.

[–]roflcraptor 0 points1 point ago

how charmingly ghetto.

[–]kbilancini29 0 points1 point ago

No you didn't.

[–]eat-pray-queef 1 point2 points ago

Do pepsi instead! just kidding it stings the fuck out of your nostrils

[–]rattlesnakebabe 0 points1 point ago

Anyone have the pattern for this? My bathroom needs this classy addition.

[–]wehaventlocatedusyet 1 point2 points ago

You can buy these from a lot of places. At least in Sydney.

[–]FishInTheTrees 0 points1 point ago

WHO? WHO DID YOU ASK?

[–]SomeGamerKid 0 points1 point ago

I read that as, "Don't cook in the bathroom." lol.

[–]junkiewithoutacause 0 points1 point ago

Bring that shit out in the living room and share.

[–]captainohmycaptain 0 points1 point ago

I want it for my bathroom!

[–]CaptLavender127 0 points1 point ago

It turns all your bad feelings into good feelings. It's a nightmare!

[–]BookwormSkates 0 points1 point ago

The question is now: which person over the next four years is going to take that off the wall and scrape together a line on it?

[–]TacoPrince 0 points1 point ago

That's what the kitchen table is for.

[–]cstar4004 0 points1 point ago

*coc

[–]2jzge 0 points1 point ago

Dr. Rockso has a grandma

[–]Arco1338 1 point2 points ago

Send her a picture of you taking a shit drinking a Pepsi with her gift to you in the background...

[–]chanbam -1 points0 points ago

[–]SonicEuthanasia 0 points1 point ago

My girlfriend gave me this birthday present a few years ago.

I asked her to marry me a month later. Not a coincidence.

[–]WackyWarrior 0 points1 point ago

Where can I get one of these?

[–]Qui-Gon-Jinn 0 points1 point ago

[–]gfkkarl 0 points1 point ago

I should seriously get someone to make me one

[–]CamelKnuckle 0 points1 point ago

They sell them, OP ripped this off of a website.

[–]oinache -1 points0 points ago

A Hipster would pay about 5 grand for that embroider.

[–]CamelKnuckle 0 points1 point ago

Way to rip this off of a website and whore it out for karma.

[–]DammitMcNulty 0 points1 point ago

This restaurant doesn't have a good bathroom to do coke in....

[–]qwertyuiop25 0 points1 point ago

Can you do Pepsi in the bathrooms?

[–]ItakBigDumps 0 points1 point ago

Don't do crack in the bathroom

[–]Upper_Cunting 1 point2 points ago

This should be in every bar/nightclub.

[–]Coldkev 0 points1 point ago

This is exactly what I was going to say. I can't even count how many times I've walked in on people doing blow off the counter. Here's an up vote my good sir.

[–]Janet_Coquette 0 points1 point ago

WANT.

[–]andrewsmith1986 3 points4 points ago

Where should they be doing it?

[–]NotaMethAddict 6 points7 points ago

Off of my ass a hooker's ass.

[–]JasonGD1982 0 points1 point ago

Off of my ass a hooker's ass.

So you're a hooker.

[–]thats_a_risky_click 3 points4 points ago

no, just a karma whore.

[–]NotaMethAddict 7 points8 points ago

Karma whore is such an ugly term.

I'd much rather be your karma companion.

[–]kittyroux 6 points7 points ago

karma karma karma karma karma com-pan-eeee-onnnnnn

you come and go

you come and...

wait, no, you never actually leave.

[–]ToCatchAReddator -1 points0 points ago

I guess that's one way to snuff out which friends do coke.

[–]twistoff 0 points1 point ago

[–]dudeitscoke 0 points1 point ago

I don't get what the big deal is?

[–]troway2223 -1 points0 points ago

I could seriously use that. Whenever we have a party, one of my friends brings his surfer/bum-esque friends and they always wind up doing coke in the bathroom, despite being told not to every time. Then they stuff used coke baggies in random places in the bathroom, like that's somehow better than throwing them away. Chill guys, but they have no manners when it comes to not using drugs in someones house.

[–]petitepoupee -3 points-2 points ago

I dated a guy and I brought him over to my friends' house. Months later he told me he did coke in their bathroom. I told my friends, because they have cats, and they were worried that their cats might get cocaine on their feet. Luckily, my (now) ex-boyfriend did the bump off of a key. Still pissed though, I think my friends need a sign like this though, since it's already happened once.

[–]ilivlife 0 points1 point ago

You are never to old to piss in the shower

[–]FatDIck9 -1 points0 points ago

it would be so awesome if ur grandma made this