There's awesome, then there's this guy.

Nibbed · 2012-10-01T14:44:53+00:00

Twist, Denny leaves without paying.

emm386 · 2012-10-01T12:12:15+00:00

The source of inspiration for this story: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096945/

jglee1236 · 2012-10-01T14:43:09+00:00

There's old, and then there's this story.

FlippyDog · 2012-10-01T15:12:52+00:00

kaspersky says no

Thomsenite · 2012-10-01T13:27:31+00:00

There's also true and completely fabricated.

alchompski · 2012-10-01T14:23:44+00:00

Thats a damn good story. But where the hell was Mario durring all this?

thrownaway9001 · 2012-10-01T16:00:22+00:00

Reposts. Reposts everywhere.

ifUreadTHISiWin999 · 2012-10-01T15:36:15+00:00

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title	comnts	points	age	/r/
Then, there's Denny [Pic]	700^coms	4270^pts	3^yrs	funny
Then, there's Denny [Pic][x-post from r/funny]	0^coms	-1^pt	25^dys	funny
Get this man a refill!	116^coms	964^pts	3^mos	funny
Denny is a badass...	21^coms	269^pts	6^mos	WTF
Denny is a badass	4^coms	14^pts	9^mos	pics
Don't mess with Peach.	9^coms	40^pts	1^yr	funny
This fucking guy.	534^coms	364^pts	1^yr	pics

source: karmadecay

venfayth · 2012-10-01T15:29:46+00:00

Of all the things that have never happened, this is the thing I want to have happened the most

henhenhen · 2012-10-01T16:19:56+00:00

Ha! I actually own such a cane! I believe it to be quite old, but that's just speculation. I don't even remember how I got it.

http://imgur.com/a/VW81M

dreinn · 2012-10-01T13:57:35+00:00

Yeah, that definitely didn't happen.

watyousay · 2012-10-01T13:56:34+00:00

This is largely borrowed from the Doll House story arc in Sandman. 'Denny' being Fiddlers Green/Gilbert.

tspaghetti · 2012-10-01T15:04:52+00:00

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:

Trehorna123 · 2012-10-01T14:43:59+00:00

This is a repost

PantheraAtrox · 2012-10-01T15:31:13+00:00

SPOILER ALERT END OF BREAKING BAD

starlilyth · 2012-10-01T15:06:24+00:00

.. and then theres you, reposter.

TheRavencroft · 2012-10-01T15:07:12+00:00

I've always wanted a Sword Cane but they are illegal to buy in England. I believe the loophole is it's illegal to buy but not own.

TheDudish · 2012-10-01T15:20:36+00:00

Kaspersky pulls up the page saying it's a threat, refuses to open it. /sigh

tuxcreepz · 2012-10-01T15:42:28+00:00

This is so old it hurts.

uberguby · 2012-10-01T15:56:48+00:00

ITT: We show our superior skepticism and Holmesian detective skills by doubting 4chan submissions posted in /r/funny.

promethius_rising · 2012-10-01T16:23:52+00:00

ANTIVIRUS SHIT ALL OVER ITSELF WHEN I TRIED TO OPEN LINK. DO NOT OPEN.

tuckie · 2012-10-01T16:04:37+00:00

Fuck you and your repost

wookiesandwich · 2012-10-01T15:10:58+00:00

miscategorized...you want r/shitthatneverhappened

CrabbyMonday · 2012-10-01T15:20:44+00:00

Welcome to the Internet, OP

ImGonnaBeInPictures · 2012-10-01T16:41:58+00:00

Let's scare the shit out of some guy and basically cheat him out of $50! That's awesome!

LordAnubis10 · 2012-10-01T12:48:10+00:00

I live in Austin as well.

dacotahd · 2012-10-01T14:21:03+00:00

This is amazing, but I'd be slightly afraid of him for a uncertain amount of time.

TheRealExqusite · 2012-10-01T14:56:46+00:00

You must go to hillwood

sorryforthehangover · 2012-10-01T15:31:00+00:00

I can only read Denny in the voice of Bill from Kill Bill.

s3rious_simon · 2012-10-01T15:31:01+00:00

Cane Swords: Classy as shit. (and unfortunately illegal where i live...)

roachwarren · 2012-10-01T15:37:35+00:00

"he sheaths his cane and sit back down"

this story can't be true he misspelled that

saluja04 · 2012-10-01T15:39:34+00:00

AMA Request: Denny

verbal_diarrhea_guy · 2012-10-01T15:41:55+00:00

I actually have a sword cane. There's a wolf's head on the top/handle.

table3 · 2012-10-01T15:44:07+00:00

Did anyone else think Denny was going to yell, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS"?

FloggingHank · 2012-10-01T15:53:51+00:00

master roshi

endercoaster · 2012-10-01T15:55:07+00:00

As somebody named Denny, I hope this is a story about me after I discover time travel.

derpdiddly · 2012-10-01T15:55:52+00:00

" gran torino" kind of comes to mind when i hear this story

kfijatass · 2012-10-01T15:58:24+00:00

I always wished to own a cane/umbrella sword. Call me hipster but I always found this elegant and badass at the same time.
Anyone knows where to get one or how to make one?

Kulotee · 2012-10-01T16:01:55+00:00

New role model acquired.

neuronalapoptosis · 2012-10-01T16:02:37+00:00

I dont believe the story but it's still a good story!

RugerRedhawk · 2012-10-01T16:04:24+00:00

Talk about a corny story

ADD_Booknerd · 2012-10-01T16:06:15+00:00

Even if that story "ain't" true, I love it! Drunkish logic!

dondon13 · 2012-10-01T16:10:27+00:00

This is the most epic story I have read in quite some time

Shanhaevel · 2012-10-01T16:11:00+00:00

Never heard this before. Cool story, wish I had a friend like this...

SourCreamWater · 2012-10-01T16:14:23+00:00

I have never wanted a post to be true so badly.

I believe it could definitely happen. There's a thing called "old man power" and it's very real. Witnessing it is fucking great.

koltur · 2012-10-01T16:14:56+00:00

Blind Fury has a little in common with : Zatoichi

Blame_The_Green · 2012-10-01T16:15:35+00:00

One time I was in a conference room when my slimeball boss explained to us that the company was downsizing. We didn't know who was going to get the axe but we knew that it would hit some of us. One guy was a grizzly Vietnam vet and was just disgusted at how the management was handling the layoffs. They seemed to lack backbone and kept the staff on edge for weeks as they made up their minds on what do with people's careers.

In that conference room through his obvious contempt the Vietnam vet used the same line on the manager, "I've killed better men than you." I bet he had.

lendavkaru · 2012-10-01T16:17:50+00:00

FALSE. "I've killed men better than you" was too much . Sorry.

Coboj · 2012-10-01T16:18:24+00:00

also : repost

impatiswim · 2012-10-01T16:18:51+00:00

There's original content, then there's this repost.

killiangray · 2012-10-01T16:22:05+00:00

You make up a story about a guy who lives above a diner, and you name him Denny? Really??

Is the main character in your story about a hamburger restaurant named Carl, Jr.?

Magrias · 2012-10-01T16:22:05+00:00

For
Great
JUSTIIIIIIICCCCCEEEEE

I-simply-refuse-_- · 2012-10-01T16:25:44+00:00

I WANT THAT CANE!!

frowgferd · 2012-10-01T16:25:47+00:00

and that's how stories are written.

LunaFaye44 · 2012-10-01T16:28:04+00:00

My god that is one of the best stories I've ever heard! You are so lucky to have become friends with a man like that :) I love those kinds of people :3

KingEllis · 2012-10-01T16:30:38+00:00

With a timestamp that says 03/10/09, you can never tell if the repost is 2, 3, or 9 years old. But yeah, it is that old, and we've heard it.

Mrjohnnyray · 2012-10-01T16:30:52+00:00

Hey calls op peach because he knows she will bruise like a peach when he eventually beats her to death

Mr_I_Know · 2012-10-01T16:32:30+00:00

I've read this story before, but the awesome factor is still in full effect. i have a fiend that denny reminds me of. VERY mysterious fellow. calls himself Mr. E (Mystery) no one knows his history or real name. and he acts like he's from the 20's and holds that personality very well. not sure if crazy or time traveler. will post pic for proof upon request.

gnudarve · 2012-10-01T16:32:53+00:00

You bitches need to Google Zatoichi.

BaronScarpia · 2012-10-01T16:33:57+00:00

That's pretty harsh for a guy who pays for his coffee with stories...

kadrmas45 · 2012-10-01T16:35:49+00:00

I was anticipating, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!"

Fonzfactor · 2012-10-01T16:38:28+00:00

I want to give you two up items for that....can we make that a thing?

Fonzfactor · 2012-10-01T16:39:16+00:00

Up votes...damn you autocorrect

ForeverMarried · 2012-10-01T16:39:46+00:00

thanks for the virus

alexhoyer · 2012-10-01T16:40:06+00:00

Come on wait at least a month before shamelessly reposting

575_haiku · 2012-10-01T16:45:26+00:00

Denny the swordsman
defends baristas honor.
Modern Errol Flynn.

jfatt · 2012-10-01T16:47:37+00:00

Never happened.

yinoryang · 2012-10-01T16:47:45+00:00

LPT: Threaten strangers with a sword to get free coffee for life!

myocardia · 2012-10-01T16:47:59+00:00

"...then there's this guy."

Do you really recon the old bird calls a dude "peach?"

ldane · 2012-10-01T16:53:14+00:00

"There's only one way in and way out, and its through me mothafucka!" (Cock's cane)

ErroneousOctopus · 2012-10-01T16:54:34+00:00

Love sword canes.

Cane swords?

Eh, whatever.

Prophet_Muhammad_phd · 2012-10-01T16:55:59+00:00

Smell that? You smell that? Repost, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of repost in the morning.

BEEF_BALOGNA · 2012-10-01T16:56:29+00:00

I'm sitting in Panera Bread eating a sandwich browsing /r/funny, and now i'm really disappointed that nothing that cool happened today.

guido32 · 2012-10-01T16:59:47+00:00

Are there honestly people on the interwebs that have never seen this story?? wow!

Crucks · 2012-10-01T17:05:03+00:00

i don't care if its true or not this is a pretty good little story.

st_calliope · 2012-10-01T17:06:55+00:00

I've killed better men than you.

AJam · 2012-10-01T17:07:09+00:00

did he pay for his refill?

blankfist · 2012-10-01T17:08:01+00:00

There's awesome, then there's violent threat of murder.

jonscotts · 2012-10-01T17:09:03+00:00

I have seen this post so many goddamn times.

nrokreffefp · 2012-10-01T17:09:44+00:00

Retarded story. If an old man even started to draw a sword cane on anyone in reasonable shape, they would simply take it from him before it left the sheath. This is some cheap Hollywood style writing.

LankyDrummer · 2012-10-01T17:11:44+00:00

Lies!

Patrick16 · 2012-10-01T17:14:39+00:00

reposts...

backfromhospital · 2012-10-01T17:19:07+00:00

Asshole gets a gun out and shoots Denny. He shoots the waitress so he doesn'T leave any witness behind. The end.

viking_ · 2012-10-01T17:21:58+00:00

I found out what I want to be when I grow up.

TeslaBoyGangsta · 2012-10-01T17:22:04+00:00

I really wanted it to end with Bel Air.

parkertonsloanworth · 2012-10-01T17:33:08+00:00

Denny crane....

Ontopourmama · 2012-10-01T17:36:53+00:00

Excuse me, waitress! This coffee smells like bullshit.

Cupk8 · 2012-10-01T17:40:12+00:00

Thanks for posting a malicious URL. Nice job

Batfart77 · 2012-10-01T17:41:14+00:00

I love the smell of bullshit in the morning...wait, no I don't...boo this fool!

brownstoned · 2012-10-01T17:42:47+00:00

The story sounds better if you read it with Michael Caine's voice.

BK_Whatever · 2012-10-01T17:49:44+00:00

Nice to see this repost is still floating around.

Teh_Shakes · 2012-10-01T17:51:22+00:00

That's fucking epic! There are people out there that do such things an that's what so cool about the story. Love it!!!

bestredhead · 2012-10-01T17:51:34+00:00

I started a slow clap... only to realize I was alone.

Great_Gig_In_The_Sky · 2012-10-01T17:57:06+00:00

There are people who aren't faggots and then there's OP.

Jean-Baptiste1763 · 2012-10-01T17:57:41+00:00

Please keep on reposting this, I read it each time with pleasure.

ThickRick · 2012-10-01T17:59:11+00:00

I think Denny is future Mario, and his old habits of protecting "Peach" still come out.

Rasta_Man69 · 2012-10-01T18:01:14+00:00

There's original posts, then there's this post.

letorrie · 2012-10-01T18:02:43+00:00

so we pretty much go to the same school...

ZeroAssassin · 2012-10-01T18:05:58+00:00

Nice, this hasn't been posted thousands of times.

ElPotatoDiablo · 2012-10-01T18:13:02+00:00

Certainly if it's posted on 4chan it must be true.

slackerboy17 · 2012-10-01T18:15:30+00:00

Can you post a picture of denny and his cane?

junkaccount1 · 2012-10-01T18:17:51+00:00

I got a virus alert on that site, just FYI

Shorckz · 2012-10-01T18:25:13+00:00

Am I the only one who imagines Denny as Micheal Cane in Harry Brown? The accent and all, don't know why.

AssClapper · 2012-10-01T18:25:20+00:00

tuolisipuli · 2012-10-01T18:31:40+00:00

I vote Denny for the king of the universe!

Dirtydirtdirt · 2012-10-01T18:34:13+00:00

If you like old 4chan posts like this, Check out /r/classic4chan

Jack_1807 · 2012-10-01T18:42:37+00:00

Well.Now,I want him as a grandfather of mine.Why Reddit why ?

llcbdavis · 2012-10-01T18:49:13+00:00

amazing story. chivalry isnt dead after all. your friend is of a dying breed. you are lucky to know him. but you already knew that. thanks for an uplifting story

smooothbuster · 2012-10-01T18:55:52+00:00

id pay money to read the Tales of Denny

trees_at_school · 2012-10-01T19:00:54+00:00

Legen wait for it..........dary!

TheYeags · 2012-10-01T19:03:20+00:00

Owned.

hisnamewaschaz · 2012-10-01T19:03:25+00:00

similarly: there are original posts, and then there are yours.

Danmonkey · 2012-10-01T19:12:27+00:00

Hey look! Something that's actually older than fuck!

ooli · 2012-10-01T19:19:28+00:00

WHY IT DOESNT APPEAR IN REDDIT IN 3012 ????? WHY ??????

lordnibbla · 2012-10-01T19:23:45+00:00

Fuck yo repost.

JefferyFrank · 2012-10-01T19:31:54+00:00

Denny better get his motherfucking refill.

maaaagua · 2012-10-01T19:56:57+00:00

this story is so old i read it before i was born

long_wang_big_balls · 2012-10-01T19:56:59+00:00

I think this story shares a lot more with Alan Moore than just his looks. Sounds like a work of fiction too.

suddenlyawildreddit · 2012-10-01T20:03:59+00:00

this is a repost, saw this a few months ago

IRSoup · 2012-10-01T20:12:36+00:00

There's reposts, then there's this post.

Robeast · 2012-10-01T20:15:37+00:00

Both a gentlemen and a sir

CasperMoon · 2012-10-01T20:16:02+00:00

Anybody ever see a movie called "Batteries Not Included"?

ElmanoNegro · 2012-10-01T20:31:21+00:00

Denny, two is great, but three is a crowd.

extelius · 2012-10-01T20:37:58+00:00

If only this could be re-posted forever and ever and e... shoot me now.

BlackFeign · 2012-10-01T20:49:01+00:00

I see Denny is still holding strong after 50 reposts or so

the_advice_line · 2012-10-01T20:54:33+00:00

Thats not a knife, thats a spoon!

I see you've played knifey-spoony before!

braedonkeebz · 2012-10-01T20:56:45+00:00

Overly manly man in 30 years?

fractal7 · 2012-10-01T20:58:45+00:00

Last time I read this it was a 5$ bill. At least peach is making more money as time goes on.

All_upvotes · 2012-10-01T21:01:16+00:00

slow clap...

Dear dad, I have a new hero.

PdubsNWO · 2012-10-01T21:02:57+00:00

Theres reposts, and then theres this.

thuh_dood_man · 2012-10-01T21:12:28+00:00

i logged in to up vote..absolutely amazing story.

dillybro1 · 2012-10-01T21:16:54+00:00

Repost. How do they always get so much karma?

Torek2142 · 2012-10-01T21:22:20+00:00

My antivirus REALLY hates this link

Blargame · 2012-10-01T21:37:22+00:00

I have several friends who get on 4chan, several on reddit, both of them bitch all day how the other steals posts from the other, isn't that we are doing right now?

jaheiner · 2012-10-01T23:05:19+00:00

I wish this was true....sadly I doubt it it.

hamamah · 2012-10-01T23:12:14+00:00

Repost

dopestep · 2012-10-01T23:21:27+00:00

this needs to be a clint eastwood movie

Vanadoss · 2012-10-01T23:35:40+00:00

Denny Cane!

mrsrobinson · 2012-10-01T23:55:35+00:00

Just thought I'd give a heads up. Maybe it's nothing, but my anti-virus went crazy when I clicked on this title.

mrchicano209 · 2012-10-02T00:27:28+00:00

My anit-virus blocked the website. Is it safe?

OnAnAxle · 2012-10-02T00:44:52+00:00

He and some other kids went on a trip to italy and greece with People to People international. My friend from Arizona was obbsesed with knives and the such, and we came across a knife shop in greece. So in our free time, we headed over there to check out what they had. We hit the mother load. They had EVERYTHING. And due to the rules of the organization we traveled with, we could buy weapons. But we found a loophole. They offered to ship things back to the US. So, in the end, my friend bought 6 throwing knives, a butterfly knife, AND an awesome cane with a sword in it. And that is my relevant story of the day.

Komik3396 · 2012-10-02T02:31:09+00:00

peach is a pretty feminine nickname...

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