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1446

My crush said she needs help with her computer. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by sdvaletones

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[–]springwheat 49 points50 points ago

There was a guy at work in the customer support department who had a crush on a woman in our accounting department. Any time she had a computer issue that guy would break mach 1 getting over to her desk. It was the only time he actually put any effort into work, despite the fact that IT issues weren't even his area of responsibility.

Then he installed a keylogger on her PC and that ended that.

Don't be like him.

[–]denizenKRIM 9 points10 points ago

Then he installed a keylogger on her PC and that ended that.

Did it end because she found out? Or he found out how much of a whore she was?

[–]springwheat 18 points19 points ago

Our IT guys figured out what had happened and traced it back to him. It ended because he was summarily fired and told in no uncertain terms that he was to have no contact with the woman in question or charges would be filed. Not only did he violate several company policies, but apparently what he did is a felony in this state (disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, but the legal department said so and you can trust lawyers right?)

No huge loss to anyone. The woman he was creeping on was friends with him beforehand and thought he was just a weird guy friend who had a thing for her. The rest of us knew he was a creepy motherfucker, but it was one of those things where she had to find out for herself. Suffice to say she was pretty freaked out for a few days and asked me to walk her to her car. She even made it a point to check the trunk. As bad as I felt for her I still had to fight to not laugh.

[–]SitnaltaPhix 5 points6 points ago

Jesus.

If I ever have a daughter, the first thing I teach her is how to kill a motherfucker with her bare hands.

[–]XtReMeSaUcE 2 points3 points ago

She'd have to start with you...

[–]_bagelbites 15 points16 points ago

He found out she frequented 9gag

[–]BaronVonSlapNuts 163 points164 points ago

How have the first few weeks of junior high been?

[–]yipyipyoo 37 points38 points ago

I see these posts and wonder if im in a sea of highschoolers.

[–]BigSwedenMan 8 points9 points ago

Yes. Yes you are. However you're also in a sea of people aged 20-30. Put those two together and I'm sure you're at over half of reddit's demographic

[–]strobexp 0 points1 point ago

lets build a wall.

[–]digitaldon 8 points9 points ago

more like

[–]CrazyMcfobo 3 points4 points ago

Aw yiss, Golden Boy.

[–]digitaldon 0 points1 point ago

that was my first original gif. I am proud

[–]thats_a_risky_click -3 points-2 points ago

Apparently good since he's about to get it in.

[–]munchiselleh 8 points9 points ago

judging by the post title i would say noooooo he's not

[–]eifersucht12a 75 points76 points ago

This happened to me in high school.

She dropped it off at my house.

Her boyfriend drove her over.

It was his laptop.

It sat on my dresser for a couple days and I gave it back like "lol idunno"

OS just needed a simple recovery.

Told them they'd probably be better off buying a new laptop.

Break my heart and get Geek Squaded motherfucker.

[–]daboof 160 points161 points ago

This is so beta that it turned into gamma and gave me cancer

[–]givegodawedgie 20 points21 points ago

There were probably nudes of her on there, way to go champ.

[–]I_Was_LarryVlad 5 points6 points ago

Implying he didn't copy them onto a flash drive first.

[–]linkkb -4 points-3 points ago

> le meme arrows

[–]MegaJiXiang 8 points9 points ago

She'll call you by name until the computer is fixed then quickly deny even knowing you. You'll be crushed.

[–]Krowhaven 15 points16 points ago

"Aww, you're such a good friend!"

[–]Popsicle_Princess 3 points4 points ago

Seriously though! So nice. It's great to have guy friends that are nice to girls, and don't just see them as a piece of ass. I'm so glad some guys understand that!

Edit: Downvotes? Seriously? This look familiar? Maybe y'all just need some tampons and ice cream.

[–]DisapprovingSeal 1 point2 points ago

Based on your username I will assume you are female. I will upvote you for the sentiment of your statement. However, being a naval officer, I feel it my duty to inform you that -even if your statement was sarcastic- you will not receive such treatment from the majority of redditors who are just motivated enough to vote. Have a good day.

[–]Popsicle_Princess 5 points6 points ago

US Navy? Thank you for your service.

[–]DisapprovingSeal 1 point2 points ago

Yes ma'am. LIutenant Junior-Grade, USN at your service. Edit: removed name

[–]Popsicle_Princess 2 points3 points ago

That's badass. What do you do in the Navy?

[–]yinyangyan 5 points6 points ago

Apparently he informs others in some way, thus making it his duty. Or something idunno.

[–]DisapprovingSeal 2 points3 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/rfg60.gif

[–]DisapprovingSeal 0 points1 point ago

Communications Officer. I help monitor, relay and transmit communications for my ship. Sorry for the late reply, I was busy.

[–]Popsicle_Princess 0 points1 point ago

No worries. :) Sounds intense. Are you on a ship?

[–]DisapprovingSeal -1 points0 points ago

Yes. I'm stationed on a Arleigh Burke class destroyer. I'd rather not say exactly which one, if you don't mind. I don't need anyone I know to find out I'm a Redditor.

[–]Popsicle_Princess 0 points1 point ago

No worries. But that really is cool. Sounds like an exciting life.

[–]beergoggles69 1 point2 points ago

He scans reddit for unjust downvoting, then tells the person getting downvoted how it occurred. Yes this is one of the Navy's responsibilities.

[–]Popsicle_Princess 2 points3 points ago

The Navy knows all too well what happens when downvotes are taken lightly...

[–]DisapprovingSeal 0 points1 point ago

It was funny watching that part of the movie, because I sail on a destroyer that looks very similar to that one.

[–]jakebluu 1 point2 points ago

Well, judging by the post, OP has already established himself romantically.

[–]jessiemoin 14 points15 points ago

YOU CAN DO IIIIT!

[–]Swede_ 4 points5 points ago

He has to... For all of us

[–]jihadbuscus 3 points4 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/7g0zf.gif

[–]al0newestand 1 point2 points ago

so what's this from

[–]allapologies27 3 points4 points ago

I'm pretty sure that's Tommy (Joseph Gordon Levitt) from 3rd Rock from the Sun.

[–]mstrkrftr 0 points1 point ago

im pretty sure that joseph gordon levitt isnt asian.

[–]JustMadeYouYawn 0 points1 point ago

You are mistaken.

[–]icandothesplitz 0 points1 point ago

This is Herman Li riding a bicycle

[–]ZioRalsa -1 points0 points ago

So the laptop shot a cloud of meth into your face?

[–]tazzy531 -1 points0 points ago

Hurry up and get to the Friend Zone.. for years of misery...

[–]giantjerk 1 point2 points ago

I guess I'm too old to get this one...

[–]SeedyOne 2 points3 points ago

It was '98 and I was in college when I got that email from the proverbial "girl of my dreams". I remember it being closer to this.

edit: of course it was the one thing I couldn't fix, a dead drive (click of death). Never bought a Seagate drive again, cock-blockers.

[–]mongo159 1 point2 points ago

Imminent friendzone in 3...2...1

[–]Carlos1264 1 point2 points ago

I see you learned the instant transmission technique.

[–]pacg 0 points1 point ago

Just don't be too keen eh.

[–]NancyTheGrimm -1 points0 points ago

This made my okay day fucking awesome. Ty. I actually laughed aloud... my dog looked at me weird.

[–]A_Generous_Upvote -2 points-1 points ago

You can tell the kid is in junior high school to call a girl his crush.

[–]broke_as_fuck 22 points23 points ago

I'm 30 and I have a crush.

What now man, what now?

[–]iHeartCoolStuff 10 points11 points ago

Same here. I'm a grown ass man but that doesn't mean I can't have a special fuzzy feeling for someone

[–]thats_a_risky_click -2 points-1 points ago

...in junior high.

[–]iHeartCoolStuff 2 points3 points ago

She's very mature for 14

[–]Zachums -2 points-1 points ago

...you ask her out. Like an adult.

[–]fortinwithwill 0 points1 point ago

and thats all she wants... dont fall prey to there computer help requests, it only ends in sadness and masturbating.

[–]seanthestone 6 points7 points ago

Then again, so does not responding.

[–]Solsavage 2 points3 points ago

but there is at least dignity in the latter choice.

[–]fapfrican 1 point2 points ago

Is that joseph from King of the Hill?!!?

[–]mzkny88 1 point2 points ago

The gif with the asian kid with glasses riding through the wormhole thing lmao!!! THANK YOU!

And I fixed many hot girls pcs and laptops in the past never got anything, because of work =/

[–]Clauderoughly 2 points3 points ago

Lol beta as fuck.

Here's what's going to happen sunshine...

You are going to go over there, and she is going to get you to fix every little thing that is wrong.

Then, the next time it breaks, you'll be summoned back to fix it...

And again...

And again....

You'll become her IT fixit doormat.

All the time, she will be fucking some bro.

Remember what the Joker says...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xUzaK1qqOsQ/UC5se62u7oI/AAAAAAAABJQ/3J9tZA9_KCo/s1600/if-you-re-good-at-something-never-do-it-for-free-11.jpg

[–]screampuff -2 points-1 points ago

/r/reactiongifs is what you're looking for.

[–]skeeterpete 0 points1 point ago

Dont be that Rhino

[–]MagicalTin -1 points0 points ago

that was really hard to masturbate to

[–]Sippin_Haterade 0 points1 point ago

"How about I fix it in exchange for a night out with you?"

[–]Markymark36 -2 points-1 points ago

inb4 she friendzones you

[–]chris_bro_chill -4 points-3 points ago

Do people actually refer to a girl they like as their "crush" outside of the internet?

[–]dudSpudson -4 points-3 points ago

And I gauruntee that you did not fuck her. BETA

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