this post was submitted on
1,015 points (52% like it)
9,720 up votes 8,705 down votes

funny

subscribe2,515,553 readers

10,530 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 241

[–]endymion2300 116 points117 points ago

i used to have a roommate who would eat pretty much everything i brought home. we were all coworkers at the same plant, but i worked days and everyone else worked nights, so i was never able to catch which one was doing it, but it was baaad.

like, i'd being home a half eaten burrito and it'd be gone the next day, or all my juice would disappear. hell, i could have some horchata in a togo cup, and that would mysteriously be consumed.

what did i do?

i put a sign up on the fridge that said "my food keeps disappearing and i'm gonna spike it with drugs".

and nothing changed.

so one day a week later i spike a bottle of orange juice with a few hits of lsd i had leftover from my last party.

and the next day the bottle of orange juice is gone, along with half a deli sandwich.

and those were the last food items to disappear from the fridge.

[–]CalBerks 35 points36 points ago

They were doing bad things. You warned them. They continued. They learned.

[–]endymion2300 1 point2 points ago

Circle of life.

[–]Rahavin 1 point2 points ago

It starts from the day we arrive on the planet.

[–]MashTheClash 10 points11 points ago

Aaand? Did you additionally find the culprit?

[–]endymion2300 16 points17 points ago

i'm pretty sure it was the short fat one. rumors had it he was acting weird at work that night, but everyone knew he was a drunk, so they just assumed it was that.

[–]alfrednugent 7 points8 points ago

He went to work? Man, i could never...

[–]endymion2300 2 points3 points ago

He probably just took the food to work with him. It must've hit him sometime after his first break.

[–]MrConfucius 4 points5 points ago

I wish it was laxatives and LSD. That would be really interesting to hear about at work.

[–]mrdoink20 5 points6 points ago

If I knew there was free drugs in your food it would more than likely make me want to eat your stuff more.

[–]SimonAdebisi 0 points1 point ago

Yep. Thanks for the acid. Got anymore?

[–]abenton 3 points4 points ago

I sure hope the plant you worked at wasn't for something important like nuclear energy or something, with you tripping on LSD occasionally, ha.

[–]endymion2300 6 points7 points ago

nothing so glamorous. it was an injection molding factory. plastic goods.

[–]abenton 5 points6 points ago

Oh well in that case, you probably needed to be high to get through the day.

[–]endymion2300 1 point2 points ago

we'd drink a lot there. it was so hot on the floor that everyone would bring in gallon thermoses full of whatever. usually water or gatorade, buuuuuut sometimes mixed drinks.

my first year there was spent on graves. we had a rotating schedule among my friends to bring booze to work. then everyone would just make excuses to visit that person's area or machine and pour some into smaller bottles.

after a year i went to day shifts. there was no secret booze network on days.

[–]LuxNocte 6 points7 points ago

An occasional hit of LSD isnt going to make any difference. As long as he's not going to work high...

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]drugs_r_my_food 8 points9 points ago

People don't just get LSD flashbacks from doing 1 or 2 doses

[–]endymion2300 5 points6 points ago

if there's anyone you can trust to make this statement, it's drugs_r_my_food.

[–]LuxNocte 4 points5 points ago

They're terribly rare in people without existing mental problems, and tend to be minor even when they happen.

[–]sprizzle 3 points4 points ago

Are you saying people that have taken LSD at some point in their life should not be allowed to work in dangerous fields? If so, I will have to disagree with you.

[–]teknig -1 points0 points ago

There's no such thing as LSD flashbacks.

[–]TheMarshma 0 points1 point ago

hmmm. I think I have this. The other day I was looking at grass and it started to swirl a little bit, I thought I had just never spazzed out on grass before.

Or does anyone else notice that type of swirly effect, I figured it was just an illusion from the repeated patterns?

[–]shoompdawoomp -1 points0 points ago

keyword 'heavy' users that is different than someone taking 2 hits once.. You obviously have never had it so you should probably just stop trying to argue with people who have first hand experience.

[–]endymion2300 -1 points0 points ago

I've had em a few times. That was back in the day though.

No occurrence of the dreaded "Ten Year After" flashbacks though.

[–]teknig 1 point2 points ago

What were these flashbacks like? I've done LSD almost 100 times and the closest thing to a flashback I've gotten was seeing light tracers.

[–]endymion2300 0 points1 point ago

i've probably done acid close to 100 times. most of it between 19-23 years of age.

the few flashbacks i've had were all in the last couple years of that phase. they were usually just intense tracers combined with random morphing of whatever was around and a light body high. i wasn't a weed smoker at the time, so it couldn't have been that.

i'm sure a lot of it was psychosomatic considering i was living in environments that were conducive to acid trips in general. lots of colorful lighting, mostly, and a wide selection of fry toys just sitting around.

also, the stronger flashbacks were always at home, hence part of it being all in my head. a couple times out of the house tracers started popping up, but since i wasn't in a trip-friendly environment, it never progressed past that.

going by my own personal experiences only, i'd say that low level flashbacks are real, but any flashback that progresses to something halfway resembling a normal acid trip were caused by my imagination running with it.

[–]SimonAdebisi 0 points1 point ago

LOL GTFO.

[–]horrorfetish 2 points3 points ago

Except so long as he's not doing it on the job what's the problem?

[–]UntoldLegend 1 point2 points ago

I would have done laxatives, or ghost peppers.

[–]percafluviatilis 1 point2 points ago

Unfortunately, the vit C in orange juice counters the worst effects of LSD (or so we convinced ourselves when trying to come down when raves got a wee bit too hectic).

[–]schonisdizzy 0 points1 point ago

"By the time the LSD takes effect, your body has already metabolized the drug. The trip is actually the after-effects on your brain, and any improvements felt from drinking orange juice are a placebo effect, or simply the calming effect on the body of taking a drink."

http://addictions.about.com/od/designerdrugs/tp/The-Truth-About-Acid.htm

[–]percafluviatilis 1 point2 points ago

Ah, thanks for that. We had long (and as I'm sure you can imagine, convoluted) discussions about the efficacy of OJ back in the day. Will inform old raving mate that he was right.

[–]munchmills 1 point2 points ago

Orange juice (Vitamin C) reduces the effects of LSD. You're such a nice roommate.

[–]endymion2300 0 points1 point ago

I do what I can.

[–]dildo_cactus 64 points65 points ago

It's the redditor who angrily shakes dildos at people who cut her off, but as a toddler!

[–]itsme_timd 24 points25 points ago

I got my first apartment with two of my friends, one friend that never wanted to share anything (that's fine) but always expected us to share (fucker). One day we had to get a screwdriver or something and knew he had a toolbox in his closet. What we did not know is that he had a stockpile of food in there.

We left his food alone. However we planned a HUGE cookout and invited over about 30 people. Me and my other roommate bought all the food and drinks. The day of the party he gets home from work and we're in full swing, he gets all excited and grabs a plate to chow down. We tell him to GTFO our food and go eat the Doritos in his closet. He thought we were joking, we weren't. He had to go get McDonald's and watch all of us eat BBQ.

[–]arcticscrabble 14 points15 points ago

Now, see, that's fair. Nothing wrong with not wanting to share, but don't expect others to share with you, then.

[–]TheMarshma 4 points5 points ago

I think not sharing is also fine. But if you know you're not a sharer, don't take things.

However bbq's/party food should be excluded from that. Although the assumption is the rude part.

It sounds like you set up the party with the sole intention of embarrassing him, but maybe it didn't go down that way and just came off that way in text.

[–]itsme_timd 0 points1 point ago

Embarrassing him wasn't the sole purpose of the party. Of course there was more to the dynamic of our relationship than simply a sharing food issue. For our parties we normally bought everything and split the cost, or we each agreed to purchase certain items.

[–]Schoolboy541 131 points132 points ago

I hate this little girl's face.

[–]masterofthefork 31 points32 points ago

I don't know why, but I enjoy her expression far too much.

[–]mang87 5 points6 points ago

It's adorable.

[–]thatnerdydude 57 points58 points ago

YES! Whenever I see this gif, I just start getting angry.

[–]Rapemyassholeplease 34 points35 points ago

Take deep breaths, it will ok

[–]stratus1469 12 points13 points ago

The expression of this gif is just... "ugly"

[–]rasmus9311 7 points8 points ago

I just found it amazing that they made a kid do that.

[–]DocEmmettBrown88 27 points28 points ago

I agree. But this is her now.

[–]GLG2012 5 points6 points ago

Meh.

[–]MidEastBeast777 0 points1 point ago

jeezus crust

[–]AcolyteRB3 2 points3 points ago

for the lazy, tabitha lupien http://imgur.com/cnJWC

[–]Kryten_2X4B_523P 0 points1 point ago

Do you know what OPs .gif is from?

[–]ihadthatcoming 0 points1 point ago

After looking at her imdb page, I'm guessing Look Who's Talking Now. But not sure.

[–]Osiris32 5 points6 points ago

She reminds me of the Grinch, which makes me laugh.

[–]isthat_edward_towers 1 point2 points ago

I just want to kick it in the face.

[–]paleo_dragon -4 points-3 points ago

huh always assumed it was a boy

[–]Mr_Ected 18 points19 points ago

Roommates suck.

I commute by bicycle and just last night I did a 70 mile round-trip. I went to a friend's birthday party, stayed there until 12:30, so I didn't get home until almost 3:00 in the morning. I had half a burrito from my favorite burrito joint saved just for the moment when I got home. The entire ride back I was dreaming of that glorious burrito and I was actually dripping with saliva when I finally arrived. With much anticipation I open the fridge, only to discover nothing but week-old chinese food. What sucks is I actually got him a burrito along with mine, just to be a nice guy, but he decided to eat the rest of mine anyway.

I hate my roommate.

[–]Powermaurer 10 points11 points ago

spike some food with ghost peppers and leave it out

[–]ONXwat 1 point2 points ago

lord help the man who has to shit after eating that.

[–]log_thoot 3 points4 points ago

Not sure if because girl, but only guys have ever eaten my leftovers like a half eaten burrito/ (foods where obviously my saliva is all over).

[–]Trenchleaf 14 points15 points ago

I buy groceries with my roomates. and we cook together. So we dont have this problem.

[–]abenton 27 points28 points ago

You can't refer to your mom and dad as roommates.

[–]Awfy 0 points1 point ago

Same here, confuses the hell out of me why people wouldn't do this. Not only does it make living together with someone more enjoyable but also saves a lot of money. You can still buy your own stuff such as treats and drinks, but meals cost too much to try and cook for one all the time.

[–]LittleWhiteGirl 2 points3 points ago

If you like all the same food and have the same schedule and get along it's a great plan, but there are a lot of things that could cause a separation of food.

[–]Mehverick 18 points19 points ago

I solved that problem with a lockable fridge.

Those greedy bastards still tried to break into it... for what? For goddamn vanilla pudding and hot pockets!

[–]Weegemonster5000 43 points44 points ago

I would burn down a school for vanilla pudding and hot pockets.

[–]skruffey 3 points4 points ago

I can verify this, for I would also. With the disgusting kiddies inside. Mmmmmmm.... pudding.....

[–]italia06823834 14 points15 points ago

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?

[–]I_BombAtomically 0 points1 point ago

I would burn down a school for free and give you my pudding/pockets.

[–]Mehverick 1 point2 points ago

Sans children... or are you really as sick as you're leading me to believe?

[–]Weegemonster5000 10 points11 points ago

What kind of hot pockets?

[–]meee_owth 2 points3 points ago

Diarrhea pocket

[–]FirePhantom101 0 points1 point ago

So....every kind of hot pocket?

[–]Mehverick 2 points3 points ago

I usually only eat the pepperoni kind... but I keep a few ham & cheese ones around for when I'm feeling frisky.

[–]TheOneTonWanton 0 points1 point ago

Fuck those children.

[–]TijuanaTacoMonster 1 point2 points ago

....and then the priest says "Do we have time?"

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]sheeponfire 19 points20 points ago

Jokes on them when they do this to me, I sprinkle my food with ajax.

[–]madnickhahaha 21 points22 points ago

I sprinkle it... With HATE.

[–]sheeponfire 4 points5 points ago

or pubes

[–]EarthRester 21 points22 points ago

[–]DataKeeper 4 points5 points ago

You made me laugh with a hangover.

I despise you.

[–]self_implosion 0 points1 point ago

ajax

Love ajax. I use drano.

[–]3825 2 points3 points ago

It will open up their clogged pipes...

[–]Xervicx 5 points6 points ago

I completely missed the word "my" and was immediately confused. I imagined you walking in, seeing your roommates eating food that they bought, and waving around what looks like a fat purple dildo with that look on your face.

[–]internet69 23 points24 points ago

If I saw one of my room mates eating my food, i'd give them a sandwhich for free; a knuckle-sandwich.

[–]photogra5 15 points16 points ago

And some Hawaiian Punch?

[–]RonMexico69 13 points14 points ago

and a Hurtz Donut

[–]m0nsterm4sh 1 point2 points ago

I prefer the long game; lace something tempting with horse laxative.

[–]Gormae 3 points4 points ago

I was wondering where you were going with that. I mean, give your roommate a sandwich for free for stealing!? That would be ridiculous! I couldn't believe it! Then you hit me with the ole knuckle-sandwich line! Completely surprised me as I was expecting you to be using a real sandwich (food item between two slices of bread)! You had be going for quite a while, Sonny Jim, ya little prankster! *pinches cheek.

[–]ujollo 31 points32 points ago

Dog, hairbrush

Colby 2012

[–]Zingbrit 4 points5 points ago

You stop that.

[–]Ticker45 -1 points0 points ago

Oh colby...

[–]donutsalad 8 points9 points ago

After being in the Army for a while, I don't think I could share a room in a college dorm for very long without violently beating my room mate. I hear all kinds of stories and shit about roommates eating food that's not theirs, not paying some bill, being too loud, being too messy, and even stealing things, I wouldn't be able to control myself.

[–]8986 10 points11 points ago

That's because nobody comes to reddit to post something like "my roommate was eating his own food", "my roommate paid his half of the rent on time this month", or "my roommate didn't steal any of my shit", even though that's what happens 99.9% of the time.

[–]splendourized 2 points3 points ago

99.9% of the time is a big exaggeration. I thought I would never be paired up with a roommate who would eat my food, but it happened. Who the fuck thinks it's ok to eat somebody else's food, anyways? He never even asked.

[–]LittleWhiteGirl 0 points1 point ago

When we moved in I asked my roommate how she wanted to separate food, colored stickers or separate shelves or whatever, and she just got angry and say "I'm not in the habit of eating other people's food." Bitch went grocery shopping one time.

[–]RealHT 1 point2 points ago

You would hate it here.

[–]Karbear_debonair 1 point2 points ago

It's not all that bad. My boyfriend is renting a house with three other people for his school term, and the four guys get along fine. You just have to find a system that works for you. And pick your room mates carefully.

[–]rg5309 10 points11 points ago

Don't be fooled. If you think everything is going fine... then you/your boyfriend are the problem.

[–]iruber1337 1 point2 points ago

I'm not say they do this but I had a roommate that would flip out over me having friends over but his girlfriend basically lived there four to six days a week. Whenever I mentioned it he would claim it was different.

[–]Karbear_debonair 0 points1 point ago

Nope. He cooks, he cleans, he's not obnoxious. It all works. I don't live there. -shrug- Every once in a while some one starts being a dick, but the other three will gang up on the dick and make him stop. Then it's all good again.

[–]stb14808 9 points10 points ago

Damn, sorry to hear that. But in all seriousness, grow some balls.

I can't imagine my friends taking shit from me (that I payed for) even though they know I don't want them to. Get better friends or establish some ground rules more firmly.

[–]3825 0 points1 point ago

I don't have problem with my roommates eating my food but I've never had someone clean up the remains of my half-eaten burrito before.

Yes, if you have any issues just talk to your roommates in person. Putting notes in the fridge is a cop out.

[–]sapere_aude 2 points3 points ago

In college I didn't have a car and the grocery store was about 20 blocks away with no public transportation in between. I always just walked there and back with my groceries. One weekend I asked one of my roommates if he could drive me to the store to get food and he said no, even though he wasn't doing anything. So I walked there and bought food and walked back with it. I caught him eating my food. Immediately installed a deadbolt on my bedroom door and got a mini fridge in my room. Fuck shitty roommates.

[–]pujoljunkie 10 points11 points ago

What's with Reddit and not letting their roommates eat their food? Am I the only motherfucker here who likes to fucking share?

[–]Squishpoke 42 points43 points ago

People gotta ask first.

[–]clownparade 24 points25 points ago

It depends who your roomate is. I had one that wanted to share everything and I liked that idea, until I realized he was planning to just never, ever, buy food and just eat what I had. Another roomate would ask if he could eat some of my stuff and I always said yes, but anytime I asked to use something of his or drink one of his sodas he said no he paid his own money for it....

so based off that I always had the roomates buy and eat only their own shit rule from then on

[–]Squishpoke 1 point2 points ago

I woulda had fun with the first guy. I can go longer than most without food.

[–]clownparade 2 points3 points ago

fasting/starving myself because my roommate is a dick is not fun!

[–]brbegg 3 points4 points ago

Only buy little amounts of food and eat it all at once.

[–]Gormae 20 points21 points ago

I know you. You're the guy that brings home tofu and cabbage, announces 'everyone can help themselves!' and then eats my chocolate bars and steak guilt free while I'm working a 10 hour shift. I come home tired and am forced to eat tofu and cabbage. I am also forced to punch you in the eye.

[–]TijuanaTacoMonster 7 points8 points ago

I can't not-share. So I spent thousands over a few years on food for my roommates- they'd gladly eat whatever I bought and cooked. It was like having two teenage sons to feed. I'd shoot Two Elk, five deer, two antelope and catch thousands of pounds of fish each year- it was all eaten. I'd come home and they'd be grillin up back-straps and Tuna "Oh sorry bro, we did not know you'd be home- I can defrost some more real quick"

I was happy to do it, would do it again. Now I have kids- worst roommates ever. Eat everything, make huge messes every day- never clean up. Stumble around breaking shit- shitting themselves- like a frathouse round here.

[–]adras 6 points7 points ago

My main problem is the fact that after paying my bills, rent, and gas (I have a jeep and live 18 miles from work), I don't really have enough money to buy food for 2. It's got nothing to do with not wanting to share. Occasionally if I make a big meal, I'll offer to let him have some, but otherwise we both abide by the "If you didn't buy it, don't eat it" rule. It's never been a problem for either of us, but I know there are a lot of people out there who have no concept of who bought it.

[–]endymion2300 5 points6 points ago

in my house we share condiments, cleaning supplies, and rice. oh, shit like olive oil and spices, too.

we'll also share cooked food. i always cook in large batches; if one of the roommates is around when i'm finished, i'll offer them some, and sometimes they'll give me some of their food.

hell, sometimes my neighbors come over with food.

but all of this kindness and sharing means jack shit when i come home and find half a glass of orange juice left on my shelf, when i know for a goddamn fucking fact there was a full glass' worth in that fucking shitwhore bottle when i left that morning.

luckily, my roommates and i actually respect each other's shit. we'll still use each other's stuff on occasion, but we'll always notify the person and never use the last of something.

[–]m0nsterm4sh 6 points7 points ago

Are you aware that sharing and stealing are different things?

[–]left4alive 4 points5 points ago

It's not really sharing when they eat all your good, expensive stuff and when they have food they never share.

Bitch ate my drumsticks. >:(

[–]MosEisleyCantona 8 points9 points ago

Most people seem to be unaware of the concept of agreeing on these things when you become roommates.

[–]RagnarIV 3 points4 points ago

There is a fine line between sharing and an asshole/several assholes that consume all edibles within a 5km radius.

[–]arisefairmoon 3 points4 points ago

I'm totally fine with sharing, unless my roommate never buys their own food and always eats my food. I came home after a weekend away and my roommate said "I'm sorry, I accidentally ate all of your poptarts because I kept getting hungry. I'll buy you more." That's fine and all, but it's after midnight on a Sunday night and now I don't have any breakfast for the morning.

Plus, she never did buy me more.

[–]left4alive 4 points5 points ago

Mine ate my drumsticks. Said she would replace them. She just moved out yesterday. Still no drumsticks.

[–]Argle 2 points3 points ago

That's what happens when your roommate is a beaver.

[–]Nomadtheodd 1 point2 points ago

I'm good with it. Most of the time I'd rather not be bothered by them asking me. HOWEVER, if you don't buy your own food, that's a problem. And if you eat the last of anything, that's not cool either. Fine, eat 3/4 of my box of cereal. But when I want a bowl of cookie crisp, there better be some fucking cookie crisp left.

[–]UpsetNoImPissed 0 points1 point ago

My roommates and I were going to share groceries, then we quickly realized that wasn't going to happen. The girl was like, "well, I don't eat this, or that, or this, so why should I be part of this". Which makes me wonder why even agree to the whole thing in the first place, but at least she's reasonable. She doesn't want to pay for things she doesn't eat. The other dude doesn't cooks anything, nor clean, nor shop. So I had to grocery shop, cook, and clean everything. So fuck that. We do independent groceries from then on.

The other day, he drank half my fuckin OJ. Shit was empty on day three. Will be speaking to him soon.

[–]netraven5000 1 point2 points ago

The sharing has to go both ways, though.

[–]virnovus 5 points6 points ago

That dog seems a bit concerned about that hairbrush...

[–]Gizmo9682 3 points4 points ago

Colby 2012

[–]Ganfor91 0 points1 point ago

NEVER FORGET

[–]RICH_LITTLE 4 points5 points ago

What is this gif from?

[–]LumberJames 11 points12 points ago

A movie titled, "Look Who's Talking Now". http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KKiCmjwBOg

EDIT: Wrong title, and added link

[–]EasPerFunSkAt 0 points1 point ago

Damn I thought this was the "doodie head" scene in Multiplicity.

[–]YouHaveShitTaste 0 points1 point ago

My roommate ate my food once. I took them to small-claims court on their first offense. Never happened again.

[–]ReDyP 0 points1 point ago

Awwww hells no!

[–]string97bean 0 points1 point ago

I keep watching thinking the the dog will get whacked in the head...but it never happens.

[–]kaeby 1 point2 points ago

Source: Look Who's Talking Now

[–]Coordman 0 points1 point ago

[–]drunk_otter 1 point2 points ago

That's an interesting way to express "I came in that"

[–]chrisman01 0 points1 point ago

Just calmly mention your little safe has an M1911 in it. They'll stop.

[–]home_pale_blue_dot 0 points1 point ago

I always told them no and they did it anyway, so I would write it on a white board and charge them for it.

[–]Phoequinox 1 point2 points ago

This gif is always strangely hypnotic to me. Like, I want to see it go on longer, and see what led up to it. It's like a bad smell that you can't stop sniffing.

[–]starlinguk 0 points1 point ago

I usedto write my name on the milk when I came home with my shopping, and caught one of the girls drinking right out of the bottle. Yeugh. Her response? She shrieked that I went around writing my name on her stuff. The stupid thing was that she was a vegan and was only supposed to drink soy milk.

God, I'm so glad I don't have to live with people I don't like anymore.

[–]anon143 0 points1 point ago

I thought you were referring to one of your daughters when you said "one of the girls"

I thought it was a cute, then weird, then tragic story

[–]GonnaGitcha 0 points1 point ago

That gif is from Look Who's Talking Now. I know, because I unfortunately just watched this movie the other night. -sigh-

[–]1_2_3_GO 0 points1 point ago

...eugene?

[–]nduece 0 points1 point ago

i fucking hate this kids face

[–]jenishlike 1 point2 points ago

JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!

[–]billypootooweet 0 points1 point ago

This gif works perfectly with "Then Comes Dudley" by the Jesus Lizard.

[–]jdowpcs 0 points1 point ago

I just posted this in buildapc the other day...

I now know that feel, Reddit!

[–]jenniferjuniper 0 points1 point ago

It got the point where I had to buy one of those plastic tool boxes with a lock on it to keep my dad from eating all my food (that he made me buy myself when I lived with him at 17).

[–]NoLaNaDeR 0 points1 point ago

Let some milk go bad by sitting in your closet for a week. Then slip that shit in the fridge when they are gone. It's very satisfying hearing their gags and spitting from your room.

[–]PhantomPhun 2 points3 points ago

someone opens bad milk, ignores the horrifying smell, doesn't mind the lumps and odd color that pours into their glass, and drinks it anyway. Yes I'm sure that happened. In some video game or other, yes.

[–]rockstar504 0 points1 point ago

Weird, we just share with each other. Neither of us are a drain or a mooch. We're also pretty bitchin' cooks. Sometimes we love to have big cookouts and share with our friends. I'll admit that on occasion we've been known to ask for donations to charity. I wish the world could share more meals.

[–]baylieleblanc 0 points1 point ago

So. Fucking. True.

[–]Yourmyfavoritedeputy 0 points1 point ago

I got a mini fridge.

[–]THEMCV 1 point2 points ago

Man, never seen this .gif befire!

[–]SynysterBear 0 points1 point ago

See the difference between you and me op is ... I have no room mates.

[–]DrZuke 1 point2 points ago

I have a roommate that compounds the injury of eating my food by giving a review of the item with his half-hearted apology. "Oh yeah, sorry I ate the last one of those ... it was really good." Oh, it was good? No shit ... that's why I BOUGHT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

[–]Kempiet 1 point2 points ago

I used to have this problem at Uni and it was terrible. One housemate in particular would arrogantly just take whatever he wanted and allow his friends to come in and do the same.

Solution: get a beer fridge and keep it in your room.

Keep the things you don't all mind sharing in the main fridge, I found that no one would really want to take cooked broccoli or spinach but they would go ape shit crazy over cheese, milk and bread.

Also I made a point of spitting in this guys dinners when he wasn't looking as he also stole loads of stuff off of us and dealt cocaine In the house.

[–]zerato 0 points1 point ago

Should have called the cops on him

[–]taranasus 0 points1 point ago

I don't get this, nobody ever stole my food...

[–]tflack 0 points1 point ago

I hope you mean food you had saved. I would never eat someone's leftovers!

Replaceable food and communal living situations is nothing to get pissed about. However, its a fucking nightmare.

[–]Burf-_- 0 points1 point ago

just make sure they take out the trash and do the dishes.

[–]jennah101 1 point2 points ago

My bro used to eat my leftovers even though I would tell him that I was going to eat it for lunch/dinner the next day. Know what I did? His ass hates mustard. I put a shit load of the spicy kind on my burger one day, and wouldn't you know it? I was lucky enough to catch that asshole in the act! He pretty much spit it out onto the plate (gross) and then ran off to the sink to wash his mouth out. He never at my food again after that.

[–]shortney46 0 points1 point ago

this gif makes me so happy I don't know why.

[–]SirWinacus 0 points1 point ago

She reminds me of that evil baby on Luigi's Mansion.

[–]PolarBearIcePop 0 points1 point ago

omg, what movie is that gif from?

[–]octopusthe 0 points1 point ago

Hahaha! So cute and angry!

[–]katzilla9 0 points1 point ago

After living with a fucking hog, I quickly realized I had to start buying food that didn't need to be refrigerated. BUT, I always have Hot Pockets for lunch. When I go to the store I probably get about 10-12 boxes. Once, I went to the store on a Sunday night and Monday morning rolled around and I went to work. Apparently my asshole roommate had a bunch of stoner friends over and they ate ALL of my Hot Pockets, a total of like 22 Hot Pockets. I was livid, and I was lucky the lease was about to be up and moved the fuck out. Not the first time something like that would happen, her and her friends would always drink all of my cold Dr. Peppers and leave me with the hot ones in the pantry. Goddammit, if you're going to be an asshole and steal my food and beverages at least replace them so they're nice and cold when I want one!

[–]NoLaNaDeR 0 points1 point ago

I'll have you know, I have an obnoxiously lame roommate that raids whatever milk jug he can find after a long night of drinking. It has happened at least once my doubtful friend.

[–]dustjuice 0 points1 point ago

I know this girl. This was taken from something from the early 90s probably becauses 24 now

[–]theonewhoknocks23 1 point2 points ago

Every time I order a pizza, I wake up the next morning and 1 slice is gone from whatever is left. It's always 1 slice missing regardless of how many were left. And then I call him out on it and he says "man, you're so greedy". The same roommate who hasn't paid me for beer once and eats a lot of my food. And then he steals my adderalls and sells them. I literally bought a safe because of this fuckhead.

[–]Bearly_Mach 0 points1 point ago

I don't suppose you've seen The Help, but please google the shit pie. It's perfect for teaching your roommate some respect.

[–]Tannon34 0 points1 point ago

I just say to them "your death shall be slow and painful, unless you put my week old pizza down"

[–]dirteemartee 0 points1 point ago

whats the source of this?

[–]IAmJesusOfCatzareth 0 points1 point ago

[–]cweb534 0 points1 point ago

Is that Colby on the left?

[–]Ninjew333 0 points1 point ago

What is this from?

[–]rockafella7 0 points1 point ago

"Sorry dude, I didn't know it was yours."

[–]neostorm360 1 point2 points ago

My roommate flipped out when he came home and I was eating ramen on the couch. I listened to him for a few minutes about how disrespectful I was being by eating his food, made sure I was making eye contact with him the entire so he'd know I was listening attentively, and when he was finished I calmly said,"You have beef ramen in the pantry. Beef ramen sucks, so I bought some chicken ramen at the store. Help yourself whenever you're hungry."

And then I went back to watching tv.

[–]throwawayent 0 points1 point ago

this is 478x less passive-aggresive than what OP actually did.

[–]HarryMan808 0 points1 point ago

So you turn into a potato?

[–]kittenkat4u 1 point2 points ago

if he's a wuss like my ex roommate you can threaten to call his mom and have her reemburse you for the food he took. i tried everything with my ex roommate and nothing worked until i threatened that. never had another item of food taken.

[–]JrBossack 0 points1 point ago

This gif reminds me of that girl that angrily shakes a giant dildo at people who cut her off in traffic

[–]boom-bam 0 points1 point ago

Does anybody know what this gif is originally from?

[–]AhYeahSallyYeah 0 points1 point ago

What movie is this from?

[–]realfastlike 0 points1 point ago

[–]Jsimpson93 0 points1 point ago

i am currently stoned and eating all of my roommates food lol

[–]yedgar 0 points1 point ago

That girl reminds me simultaneously of a former best friend and a woman who used to work for us.

[–]Wookiepuke 0 points1 point ago

I'd like to strangle this girl

[–]ptrc003 -1 points0 points ago

Oh I'm sorry, how did I end up on tumblr?

[–]fhwfshohg -1 points0 points ago

It's low quality content like this that reminds me to downvote. Does anyone else have a problem with this site becoming tumblr? Anyone?

[–]3098 -1 points0 points ago

It's just you.

[–]fhwfshohg 1 point2 points ago

Thanks for letting me know. Now scroll up and open that .gif again, and relate it to the title. Chuckle a little bit. Then say to yourself, "a couple years back, there would have been an interesting and relevant technical article in place of this post. But naw, this is better. This is better."

Edit: le me derping. omg i can't even... 90's kidz 4 lifee.