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all 109 comments

[–]Citisol 58 points59 points ago

3'10". Would fuck.

[–]NoveltyAccount5928 16 points17 points ago

I'll give that midget a footlong ...

[–]qizarate 20 points21 points ago

More like a 6"... with a few bites taken out.

[–]NoveltyAccount5928 -3 points-2 points ago

Well, I am white, so that's more or less accurate.

Edit: Oh, ok, you fuckers don't like jokes. Gotcha.

[–]Metalheadzaid -4 points-3 points ago

Protip: skin color has nothing to do with anything.

[–]theodrixx 1 point2 points ago

Skin cancer prevalence?

[–]Stickfodder 154 points155 points ago

[–]yougottawanna 57 points58 points ago

Ah, reddit. Instantly confirming once again that I am both extremely clever and extremely slow.

[–]Stickfodder 39 points40 points ago

Oh my god I did it. I finally did it. I BEAT SOMEONE TO THE PUNCH! It feels good man. So good. I hope you get to feel this someday too.

[–]lethargicwalrus 13 points14 points ago

I came here because I just knew that you would be here. The hivemind does not fail.

[–]unforgettable7 6 points7 points ago

i heard their footlongs are actually only 11 inches.

[–]SpecterJoe 19 points20 points ago

Well all guys oversell a little on their measurement

[–]JTyler82 15 points16 points ago

Pretty hot for a midget.

[–]vmos 11 points12 points ago

I'm fairly sure that's both

[–]lost2darkness 9 points10 points ago

I'm going with "shitty photoshop"

[–]Catch22af 17 points18 points ago

I wanna have sex with a midget. To them my 6 inch is like a foot-long.

[–]WithJuiceYouLose 42 points43 points ago

THAT IS NOT HOW PROPORTIONS WORK. GOOD DAY, SIR.

[–]tneu93 9 points10 points ago

Let him dream.

[–]WithJuiceYouLose 20 points21 points ago

I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!

[–]tneu93 0 points1 point ago

I think you're supposed to drop the sir the second time... or leave it out all together.

[–]WithJuiceYouLose 0 points1 point ago

GOD DAMN YOU SIR, I SAID GOOD DAY.

[–]tneu93 0 points1 point ago

That fixes it somehow. Bravo wizard, bravo.

[–]Metalheadzaid 0 points1 point ago

Yes, but it's how midget sex does. Their vaginas are smaller, and therefore you can penetrate as effective as a longer thicker penis would.

HUZZAH!

SOURCE: Made it up using brainpower.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]mattbluesman 5 points6 points ago

I'll show her a dirty pair of meatballs.

[–]AutisticTroll 7 points8 points ago

Take a bath.

[–]mon1ck 3 points4 points ago

never thought i'd say this, but too much head.

[–]toolatealreadyfapped 0 points1 point ago

You've clearly never had a bad beer pour.

[–]hddrummer 9 points10 points ago

Porque no los dos?

[–]KingAgrian 7 points8 points ago

I said this in spanish when it was totally a reasonable answer and my professor looked at me funny.

[–]wallymcwalrus 4 points5 points ago

Suena bien

[–]IByrdl -1 points0 points ago

Porque no Ingles?

[–]wallymcwalrus 3 points4 points ago

Porque no. Punto.

[–]TheHerbalGerbil 2 points3 points ago

SPEAK WHITE

[–]WordOfGav 3 points4 points ago

Por-kay no. Poon-toe.

[–]wallymcwalrus 1 point2 points ago

So-ree, green-go.

[–]Stonewall-Simpson 0 points1 point ago

What that is is a midget about to go Coneheads a footlong.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]dggeek 0 points1 point ago

wat

[–]amazoncon 2 points3 points ago

That's my new euphemism for dwarfism. She's a "footlong".

[–]kyle2143 0 points1 point ago

What is Honey Boo Boo? I've never heard of that... it sounds ridiculous.

[–]TepesX 5 points6 points ago

Do not search for this, I REPEAT, DO NOT SEARCH FOR HONEY BOO BOO! It will rot your brain!

[–]JediExile 8 points9 points ago

One of my students has dwarfism. "Midget" is considered pejorative.

[–]Squirrelson 12 points13 points ago

Maybe I'm old-fashioned but you're only a dwarf if you own a battle-axe, otherwise you're just a midget with an attitude.

[–]bam6470 1 point2 points ago

a battle-axe is not the only requirement, they must also drink ale and have a beard. (women are not excluded from the beard rule)

[–]Squirrelson -2 points-1 points ago

Ralphie-May joke

[–]calonyctiondude 2 points3 points ago

I believe the proper term is "half(wo)man."

[–]toolatealreadyfapped -1 points0 points ago

"Wee-man" is cool, right?

[–]shhitgoose -2 points-1 points ago

I believe they prefer "halflings"

[–]Jungl3 2 points3 points ago

Not sure if midget or footlong.

yeah I saw that one too.

[–]Satherton 0 points1 point ago

well she does have midget features

[–]pazimpanet 1 point2 points ago

They're not mutually exclusive....can't it be both??

[–]Greg0800 1 point2 points ago

That's what she said.

[–]my5dollarFTlong 0 points1 point ago

I think I belong in here

[–]cburke34 1 point2 points ago

or footlong midget?

[–]dresden312 0 points1 point ago

Cant tell if midget face or British

[–]our_lord_jesus 1 point2 points ago

i was actually like "huh there's a midget in a subway ad", then i read the title.

[–]Razenghan -1 points0 points ago

Five. Five dollar. Five dollars says it's a midget.

[–]greedowallskin 0 points1 point ago

Just type in midget footlong into google. I'm sure it will turn up some savory results.

[–]rottenseed 0 points1 point ago

Oddly enough that effect I believe that effect is known as "foreshortening"

[–]ayonsk 0 points1 point ago

Strategic marketing midget.

[–]justinbeatdown 0 points1 point ago

That's just bad photoshop skills.

[–]danwroy 0 points1 point ago

I wonder how Photoshop has affected the ability of little people to find work in modeling. Probably not at all. This sentence made sense when I thought it.

[–]nowayride 0 points1 point ago

I see a lot of posts regarding Photoshop, could have just been the shot. The sub is closest to the camera, so a 10mm lense would make the sandwich look huge.

[–]mojoe1000 0 points1 point ago

That's not PC. It's not midget; it's dwarf.

[–]Recidivis 0 points1 point ago

A footlong midget?

[–]TheHerbalGerbil 0 points1 point ago

I’d hit that even if she wasn’t a midget.

[–]webchimp32 0 points1 point ago

The photoshop guy isn't going to have his joblong.

[–]DundahMifflin 0 points1 point ago

The caption made this funny.

[–]desireeivegbuna 0 points1 point ago

Hahahahaha! I cried!

[–]aestus 0 points1 point ago

She's a midget and it's a 6 inch.

[–]seraph77 1 point2 points ago

And that's why I love dating midgets :)

[–]d0rxy 1 point2 points ago

Hey, Nijmegen! :)

[–]brelgno1 1 point2 points ago

its a midget holding a footlong... isn't it!?

[–]Rab_Legend 0 points1 point ago

Both

[–]codenamegizm0 0 points1 point ago

Is this in France?

[–]SveNss0N 0 points1 point ago

Yes you can see a 'Ticket Restaurant' promo

[–]Superflonic 0 points1 point ago

Nijmegen. That is all.

[–]Frack-Star 0 points1 point ago

Not sure if hungry or horny.

[–]Wrobbler 0 points1 point ago

Both.

[–]Staafmixer 0 points1 point ago

I walked past it a few times in Nijmegen, puts a smile on my face evertime.

[–]CarlWheezer 1 point2 points ago

Whoa dude dwarf is the preferred nomenclature.

[–]Siouxsie2011 0 points1 point ago

Came here to make a joke, thought I'd try and broaden my vocabulary at the same time - second result on Google. Gotta love this site.

[–]Lawd_of_Spoons -2 points-1 points ago

*foottall

FTFY

[–]ScotteeMC 1 point2 points ago

huh?

[–]Lawd_of_Spoons -1 points0 points ago

It's a midget joke.

[–]TROLOLERT 1 point2 points ago

But jokes are supposed to be funny.

[–]Lawd_of_Spoons 0 points1 point ago

sigh I know. I'll leave.

[–]Mugabuga 0 points1 point ago

Her head seems to be about 1/3rd bigger than the rest of her body.

[–]jungletek 1 point2 points ago

Dwarfism is a hell of a drug.

[–]toolatealreadyfapped 0 points1 point ago

Not even once.