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top 200 commentsshow all 410

[–]dbbelvo 565 points566 points ago

Man, it's called incognito.

[–]masteroffm 138 points139 points ago

better solution is to create a user account for the person who is borrowing the laptop and set a password for your account

[–]EnemyCombatant92 36 points37 points ago

This, as well as not messing up your other stuff or deleting some of your files.

[–]GreatGo0glyMo0gly 22 points23 points ago

In my case this is usually followed by them saying I can't install programs. Use my computer and you get all the benefits of a lowly standard user.

[–]Zoloir 23 points24 points ago

Yeah i'd be more concerned with "why are you installing shit on MY computer anyways??"

[–]MostCredibleDude 39 points40 points ago

But I need Bonzi Buddy to help me get my work done!

[–]Spider_Rapist 15 points16 points ago

Oh man I just raged so hard.

[–]skyman724 10 points11 points ago

Did a spider just tickle your dick and run?

[–]dakboy 4 points5 points ago

Guest account.

[–]negative_discourse 387 points388 points ago

Ain't nobody got time fo' dat.

[–]Flambolticus 202 points203 points ago

ctrl+shift+n. It's really that easy.

[–]cyril0 65 points66 points ago

I love how in firefox it's ctrl shift P and on Chrome it's ctrl shift N. That's right kids;

P or N...

[–]notbookies 110 points111 points ago

On top of that, it's much faster than having to delete your history.

[–]Resentable 142 points143 points ago

Ctrl+Shift+Delete

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW

[–]c0bra51 51 points52 points ago

Some of us use our history for legit purposes.

[–]notbookies 3 points4 points ago

Also a very good point.

[–]EZmacaroni 21 points22 points ago

[–]Baron_Nashor 12 points13 points ago

Yes, mother of God. Now where is your son?

[–]walkingtheriver 13 points14 points ago

Son of a bitch!

[–]andreas940 5 points6 points ago

But then you can't bookmark all the good porn sites and shit.

[–]jettrscga 10 points11 points ago

It's easier to never let anyone touch my computer ever. Or make them use IE

[–]danrennt98 1 point2 points ago

especially your search history

[–]TerryArchi 29 points30 points ago

Ctrl-shift-p for firefox users.

[–]Langly- 30 points31 points ago

I thought you had to think in Russian to operate a Firefox.

[–]njorb 10 points11 points ago

Thank you for the memories!

[–]for_clarity 10 points11 points ago

Even though they weren't so great.

[–]ForeverReal 5 points6 points ago

He tastes like you only sweeter.

[–]redditsuckshit[!] 3 points4 points ago

made my day

[–]spacelemon 9 points10 points ago

am i the onlyone who has firefox dump everything upon closing it every time?

[–]DementedCrazoid 15 points16 points ago

This. I am in permanent porn mode.

[–]adorabledork 4 points5 points ago

Nope, I do the same. And just for good measure, I run CCleaner every night before I put my computer to sleep.

[–]Ninjanovio117 14 points15 points ago

I format my hard drive and reinstall windows nightly. Just to be safe.

[–]Oriden 4 points5 points ago

I throw my entire computer into a fire and buy a new one every night. Just to be safe.

[–]Blackliquid 2 points3 points ago

Ctrl-Shift-Porn, makes sense!

[–]IM_ACTUALLY_A_BEAR 8 points9 points ago

I changed my chrome to ONLY open in incognito.

[–]veisc2 0 points1 point ago

i can understand this if i was still 15

but at this point if i was to ctrl shift n every time i wanted to fap i'd have wasted approx. 3,023,129 +/- 6 keystrokes

and ain't nobody got time fo'dat

[–]ThugBobSweatPants 9 points10 points ago

Ain't nobody got tabs for that

[–]iamagainstit 10 points11 points ago

It's my fucking computer. I don't need to hide my porn. I am a god damn adult!

[–]Blackliquid 4 points5 points ago

Dude, when I do go icognito to watch porn I get bombarded by 1 million of those "STOP FAPPING NOW and fuck tonight" ads because adons (adblock plus) are disabled in icognito. Geez i hate it when fucking ads tell me what to do...

[–]Flene 9 points10 points ago

Incognito mode now optionally allows extensions like AdBlock. Check your settings.

[–]Sloth_speed 0 points1 point ago

I always browse in incognito.

[–]AnusSouffle 1 point2 points ago

I never trust myself enough to not delete my history afterwards anyway. You know, just incase...

[–]strangerwithbenefits 0 points1 point ago

Chrome profiles!

[–]Link2999 88 points89 points ago

I thought you were going to post the browser history...

[–]petEEy 22 points23 points ago

We need this!

[–]Ewokmywewok 7 points8 points ago

How could he do that? It's still the weekend and his sister has his laptop...

[–]simeon94 16 points17 points ago

It will make front page of /r/WTF tomorrow with the title 'using my brother's laptop for the weekend... this is his browser history...'

[–]tarheel295 292 points293 points ago

[–]CrazyOldRussian 128 points129 points ago

Your sisters face in 3....2....1..http://imgur.com/TgZHi

[–]BossDulciJo 34 points35 points ago

I don't think I'm gonna eat meat-man no more...

[–]franktinsley 11 points12 points ago

I want that mug.

[–]itzmurda 3 points4 points ago

Sorry man, it's a cartoon.

[–]mikeet9 6 points7 points ago

What episode is that from?

[–]DecoyDamsel 6 points7 points ago

Season 3 Episode 4 "Hitman".

[–]Reaperdude97 3 points4 points ago

Mainly caused by him watching the incest porn...

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 24 points25 points ago

...Is that Eli Manning?

[–]DavidByrne123 15 points16 points ago

Yes. He was the host that night.

[–]Jonny_Watts 14 points15 points ago

"My defendent sent various texts to different people starting at 10 PM, reading:

'Sup'

"hows it goin'

'Sup'

'what up'

'Sup'

'Sup'

At 12:25 AM, he sent the following picture, along with the text, 'want some?':

http://larrybrownsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/eli-manning-banana.jpg"

[–]favela_astrobleme 2 points3 points ago

still funny.

[–]SYKoff 104 points105 points ago

[–]Haydenhai 27 points28 points ago

Is that Emmit Brown but young as fuck?

[–]Haramu 25 points26 points ago

It's from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest my hombre.

[–]Haydenhai 5 points6 points ago

A classic which I haven't seen yet. Thanks, 'bra

[–]morsecoderain 6 points7 points ago

Is 'bra short for something? Candelabra?

[–]dlynch066 11 points12 points ago

No it's Danny Devito.

[–]PixelMagic 3 points4 points ago

Yes.

[–]DrPencilBender 52 points53 points ago

Oh god no! A few years back I sold a laptop to a friend of my then gf. This was a very sweet, sheltered, religious girl, and this was the computer I used freshman year of college. It was used to browse some crazy porn, and had tubgirl and whatnot on it due to my forgetting to lock it when heading to the bathroom.

I got lazy and just decided to delete a few things and leave her with some programs I thought she might like. I thought I took care of the browser history but there must have been some hidden porn on there. Luckily they only found the lesbo stuff, but the sheltered girl wouldn't make eye contact with me again.

[–]Beau_Vine 39 points40 points ago

No eye contact for lesbian porn?

Damn, now I'd actually want to see her reaction to a bell-and-whistles properly deviant history. Like, with stuff you clicked slightly squinting, hand off the dick "that can't be possibly... OH GOD! IT IS! ABORT! AB... SHIT, WRONG CHOICE OF WORDS! CTRL-W! CTRL-W!"

[–]werdna314 6 points7 points ago

wait, you mean letting her see /d/ (or /r/spacedicks) ?

[–]Beau_Vine 10 points11 points ago

I'm proud to announce I have not ever went to /r/spacedicks. I've seen some shit, I'm not curious enough. Positive side effect of roaming random, I guess.

I do recall an ex-Amish girl (and some others) saying that as they discovered more about internet and went there (/b/) - their reaction was to cry.

[–]proudi 14 points15 points ago

I've been there a few times. To be quite honest, I don't see what all the fuss is about. It's just a few nude people holding space suit helmets and other similar images. Get over it everybody.

[–]Beau_Vine 3 points4 points ago

Goatse ruined Bane mask for me, so I'm just not taking any chances.

[–]werdna314 1 point2 points ago

pfffffffffffffffthhahahaha...

i so sorry amish girl,

that the internet made you cry.

[–]llortllortllort 0 points1 point ago

"I'm proud to announce I am a delicate special little snowflake"

[–]Rizlaaa 20 points21 points ago

use a 2nd browser and dont worry about incognito - then you can remember any good sites you find.

[–]mccreac123 12 points13 points ago

Or a second operating system and a second account with a unique password.

[–]IAMABananaAMAA 19 points20 points ago

For protecting your browser history?

Man.. what type of stuff do you look at?!

[–]NextName 7 points8 points ago

[–]mccreac123 16 points17 points ago

Why would you not give a warning??? D=

Is that illegal??

[–]ColPaint 2 points3 points ago

Easier: Sandboxie.

[–]red321red321 72 points73 points ago

[–]WhipIash 9 points10 points ago

You forgot to give her the password!

[–]AKineticTypographer 163 points164 points ago

[–]ressMox 61 points62 points ago

Posts like this would make more sense maybe 10 years ago, but Incognito browsing was pretty much made for this. I fail to understand why people don't use it.

[–]GovDisinfoAgent 113 points114 points ago

Personally, I'm a fan of Mitt Romney.

[–]BlazeUp 19 points20 points ago

The first thing I typed in at Internet Explorer was www.sex.com, we didn't have internet yet at home, I was twelve and didn't know anything about internet history, my dad confronted me but I lied and said I didn't know anything about it.

[–]Nequissime 5 points6 points ago

he knows.

[–]Smarag 32 points33 points ago

BECAUSE I'M A GROWN MAN AND SHOULDN'T HAVE TO AT MY OWN COMPUTER, DAMMNIT!

[–]PixelMagic 8 points9 points ago

I was told it was for buying birthday presents online in secret.

[–]nixons_dog 3 points4 points ago

You forgot Safari.

[–]I_DRINK_URINE 8 points9 points ago

And Opera.

[–]dis_ma_username 6 points7 points ago

Oh man, Opera. I'm not sure if the whole "Private tab" thing is good or not, because I may open one to sneak peek at something, then decide to go for more kinky stuff but forget that only that tab is private.

[–]darkbridge 5 points6 points ago

If you right click links on a private tab and open them in a new tab, that tab will be private as well. You can also click with the scroll wheel for the same effect.

[–]citrusphoto5 12 points13 points ago

Maybe SHE will forget to delete hers too......

[–]FurdTurguson 20 points21 points ago

[–]citrusphoto5 7 points8 points ago

yknow... i dont think imma click that at work. but hillarious. upvote for you.

[–]AxelCaprio 3 points4 points ago

It's not a real site.

[–]FurdTurguson 11 points12 points ago

The domain is not registered. I smell a business opportunity.

[–]realfuzzhead 40 points41 points ago

Delete gym

Fire facebook

hit lawyer

abandon ship

[–]werdna314 5 points6 points ago

Fire gym

Hit Facebook

Delete Lawyer

[–]tehbertl 12 points13 points ago

[–]reagan2016 17 points18 points ago

[–]RabidGorilla 6 points7 points ago

Am I the only one that has their browser set to not remember browser history so I don't have to worry about clearing the browser history or using incognito mode?

[–]Jezio 6 points7 points ago

Incest... wIncest EVERYWHERE.

[–]DaymanMaster0fKarate 4 points5 points ago

If she looks its her own fault

[–]celerynomore 4 points5 points ago

The reason OP is freaked out, is he looks at incest sister porn.

DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

[–]ms_marlowe 4 points5 points ago

as a sister, i would NEVER check my brother's browser history. what sister wants to know that stuff about her brother??

[–]coreycubed 7 points8 points ago

This is one of those times where Ctrl + Shift + N would have been your friend.

[–]EXMarten 7 points8 points ago

Man I was about to leave for a week and last second I remember that old Google Chrome setup where it shows your history in the bottom of a new tab and it was FULL of all porn and someone was going to stay in the house for a week and it was the only computer.

180 degrees, "--Have to take a crap..". This was back when Vista was "new" and it took me 10 minutes up to the point where I pissed the driver off but I would've probably had a sleepless night if I remember it too late.

[–]polandpower 2 points3 points ago

You dodged a bullet there bro.

[–]Begerken 7 points8 points ago

You just saved her the time of finding stuff to girl-fap to.

[–]Kettehhia 3 points4 points ago

Welp. You're fucked.

[–]emmanlop 3 points4 points ago

Screenshot it!

[–]midnightbean 3 points4 points ago

I use the "hang on I need to check something first" or "hear let me close some of these windows out for ya".

[–]valereck 3 points4 points ago

Am I the only one who does not give a flying frack what people think about my browser history. It's called porn...grown up

[–]Gragorin 3 points4 points ago

Huh? Am I like the only person on here who uses a totally separate login on my computer for all of my porn so I never have to worry about this? No files to find, no bookmarks to see and browser history to freak out over.

All nice and neat in another login.

[–]AllMustSuffer 4 points5 points ago

Your family gatherings are gonna get a lot more interesting.

[–]Verbose_Slayer 2 points3 points ago

Okay let's role play: you're at an airport with physical copies of the videos and images in your luggage, how much of it will get confiscated and or get you arrested.

[–]zamboniman46 2 points3 points ago

you've been watching a lot of "brother bangs his sister" porn?

[–]airmasszero 0 points1 point ago

... Make a separate account for her on the laptop to avoid any of these kinds of issues. Privacy, exposure, etc.

[–]kvlt616 3 points4 points ago

use ccleaner one right click cleaner

[–]frankyboy4my 2 points3 points ago

Google chrome??? Incognito??

[–]maeelstrom 1 point2 points ago

hahaha Bert's expressions! when I was little they scared me, now they're the funniest thing off that show! I feel a little sorry for Ernie though, I'd hate to see Bert drunk.

[–]The_One_Above_All 1 point2 points ago

[–]PsykoFlounder 1 point2 points ago

Who forgot, you or her?

[–]RahvinDragand 1 point2 points ago

Firefox deletes my history every time it closes. I take no chances.

[–]SaintBio 1 point2 points ago

You actually let your computer keep a browser history...You have much to learn.

[–]brewerstake 0 points1 point ago

i think she would be more dissapointed if she didnt see any fuq.com links in there

[–]toSTONEiGO -1 points0 points ago

Use Google Chrome, and sign into Chrome. Your browser history will be synced with every PC you use, and you can delete it or turn it off at any PC.

[–]lespaul166 0 points1 point ago

this Gif has been officially used by Archfiend Annihilation. ill be signing autographs after 5

[–]reddeath27 1 point2 points ago

Hopefully she doesn't want to go on any sites that start with a p,r,s,b,k,f,c,g,h,z,t,q,x,e,y,l,n,i,w,j,v,d,a,k,m,o,or u

[–]microcoins912 1 point2 points ago

Another suggestion: LogMeIn - remote desktop. Access your computer from any other computer.

[–]Dara17 0 points1 point ago

Bleachbit - set it to run at start-up / shutdown. Plus it will clean that 'recently used files' list everyone seems to forget about.

[–]VicYesterday 0 points1 point ago

Makes the laughing Ernie so much funnier when you think about it.

[–]HotwaxNinjaPanther 1 point2 points ago

This is probably the only reaction face gif I've laughed at in more than a year.

[–]RedditRage 1 point2 points ago

Forget "incognito" mode. DUH! Why are you letting someone use your laptop using YOUR user account???

[–]Undocc 0 points1 point ago

You're fucked, son. She will blackmail you a long, long period of your life. If she notices anyway.

[–]donte69 0 points1 point ago

Man I've had a really bad week and this (for real) made laugh out loud.

[–]ultimapanzer 0 points1 point ago

Try... incognito mode.

[–]dont_tell_my_mom -1 points0 points ago

A lot of people are suggesting incognito mode and that's a good solution. But what's even better is to set up multiple profiles with Firefox like this: instructions

The advantage is that each profile has its own set of bookmarks and history, so you can save all your favorite porn sites and videos. Also it's a very hidden feature, nobody will see that there are multiple profiles unless they know about this feature and looking for it.

[–]SuedoNymph 0 points1 point ago

Oh man that's rookie...

[–]Andypwns 0 points1 point ago

I use click and clean app for chrome. It deletes....EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE. Even empties my recycling bin when I close my browser in-case i forget. Its legit.

https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/ghgabhipcejejjmhhchfonmamedcbeod

[–]apullin 1 point2 points ago

What's the big deal? She'll see that you have been looking at pornography. Who cares.

Maybe if you're embarrassed for her to see that you've been looking up videos of women on the toilet, but even then, meh. She's genetically the same as you, so she can only judge so much.

[–]writhena 0 points1 point ago

oh god, i would die.

[–]wanderer11 0 points1 point ago

Dude, just set history not to save.

[–]lolturtle 0 points1 point ago

Crap, now she's going to know how much you love Oprah. Better luck next time.

[–]ProjectileHerpes 1 point2 points ago

Pro-tip: You can set your browser settings to automatically delete your history as you go.

[–]StealthNade -1 points0 points ago

the question is why dose your browser remember in the first place?

[–]talan123 0 points1 point ago

Use a virtual machine for viewing porn. That way all you have to do is delete the machine when you are done with whatever soul ruining activity you have done.

[–]aareyes12 1 point2 points ago

You're pretty screwed with all those incest posts you looked at AKA reddit

[–]joegekko 1 point2 points ago

Don't any of you people create separate logins for each user of the computers in your house?

You're all insane!

[–]fire5ide 1 point2 points ago

And your sisters reaction today: http://i.imgur.com/2SWuR.gif

[–]WeMustUnite 1 point2 points ago

Plot Twist: OP is a girl.

[–]immabigjerk 0 points1 point ago

Is that you when you realize you forgot to clear your browser history or your sister's face when she realizes you're into Nickelback? Also, go incognito.

[–]MilhausMN 1 point2 points ago

Only be worried if she doesn't say anything. That means she likes it, or into things that are more hard core, or spent the weekend posting in /r/gonewild.

[–]Reptillian97 1 point2 points ago

My friend got a laptop from her brother and said he didn't delete his browser history. This happened yesterday.

[–]notmylegalname 0 points1 point ago

How old's your sister?

[–]VisionEx 1 point2 points ago

Was I the only one who assumed that the SISTER did naughty things on HIS laptop?

[–]kidcheckers 1 point2 points ago

My laptop has two user log ins. "Mine" & Guest. "Mine" is passworded, anyone else uses guest. Plus I use incognito.

This is how you do things when you are an adult. With foresight and redundancy.

[–]DeadWade 0 points1 point ago

Firefox>Start Private Browsing. THE END.

[–]bricardo 0 points1 point ago

Why don't you just change the settings to clear history every time it closes. Or just ctrl+shift+del after a dirty session(firefox anyway).

[–]canadian227 0 points1 point ago

You are braver than me...I would be afraid to look!

[–]NghiV 0 points1 point ago

Go to settings and choose to never remember history and delete all cookies on exit except for the ones on your whitelist (Reddit, Facebook, Youtube, etc.)

[–]Shlugo 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one who first assumed that it's the sister who forgot to delete browser history and OP who had the reaction?

[–]Crossfox17 1 point2 points ago

Incognito Mode Incognito Mode Incognito Mode Incognito Mode Incognito Mode Incognito Mode Incognito Mode Incognito Mode

[–]sanity_slipping 0 points1 point ago

I set Firefox to automatically delete the browser history when I close it. Does nobody else do this?

[–]themcp 1 point2 points ago

No, no, no! You don't delete your browser history before you let someone use your computer. You set up an entirely separate user account for them with low privileges, so they can't get to your account or files at all, or mess up your software installations, etc.

[–]CallMeMoo 0 points1 point ago

Man, how do you even do that? I have my own computer and STILL delete my history every time.

[–]Rixxer 1 point2 points ago

You deserve it for not using incognito mode... rookie ass mistake man, what are you, 13? Do you leave your door unlocked when you masturbate too?

[–]person92000 0 points1 point ago

You're doing it wrong - this is not the appropriate gif.

[–]t0t0 1 point2 points ago

Don't anyone ever use "User Accounts" on their computers? So damn handy, just like having separate each his own sock drawers. Quite incredible.

[–]fisherboy12 0 points1 point ago

Same with me when my sister didn't close her skype.

[–]Shaaker 0 points1 point ago

Generally I don't find things funny however, this had me cracking up. Thank you.

[–]MaximilianKohler 0 points1 point ago

Am I like the only person on the planet that does not try to hide who I am and what I like/look at? Or is everyone on reddit masturbating to CP and snuff films?

A lot of stuff that would be in browser history is likely just things you happened across as well... not necessarily stuff you look at all the time.

[–]Pelpid 0 points1 point ago

WE DEMAND FOLLOW-UP STORY!

[–]HostileIguana 1 point2 points ago

I once left my phone on my bed after I got done fapping to hentai, and went to take a shower. When I looked at my phone again my little brother typed "Stop looking at anime porn bro, watch the real stuff."

[–]DoctorMiracles 0 points1 point ago

Forget history, DID YOU CLEAN IT THOROUGHLY?

[–]Fuzzywraith 0 points1 point ago

Lol women don't know how to read

[–]shadowman42 0 points1 point ago

[–]CZR_BOSS -1 points0 points ago

The original "SOON"

[–]evyajs 0 points1 point ago

CTRL+SHIFT+N.

You're welcome.

[–]LunetteNoire 0 points1 point ago

I'm actually a sister borrowing her brother's laptop for the weekend. I checked his history. Just Reddit and guitar tabs. No porn. Smart boy…

[–]fredstoller 0 points1 point ago

i thought the sister forgot to delete the browser history

[–]tossed_off_a_bridge 0 points1 point ago

Read that as 'trouser history.'

[–]duncan12457 0 points1 point ago

saw the same gif on r/batman yesterday, so much lost karma...

[–]dangeraardvark 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, I woulda reformatted before handing mine over.

[–]monty7888 0 points1 point ago

Might as well run away

[–]Dresden_skyline 0 points1 point ago

Best thing I've seen all day.

[–]ALL-CAPS 0 points1 point ago

VirtualBox with a lightweight Linux Mint guest and TrueCrypt for storage of downloads.

But then I don't visit any dodgy sites, 'onest guv!

[–]hatesyolo01 0 points1 point ago

Ctrl+Shift+N= Problem Solved

[–]sgrodgers10 1 point2 points ago

WHY DOES NO ONE USE INCOGNITO

[–]engelbert_humptyback 0 points1 point ago

Somebody needs to mix this with the Hank Schrader gif.

[–]tempvariable 0 points1 point ago

Surely, siblings can be like buddies?

[–]jarkush 0 points1 point ago

It's ok, she probably watches porn too.

[–]errmaahgawrd 0 points1 point ago

Rookie mistake.

[–]allanm17 0 points1 point ago

Fuuuuu....

[–]19115162093 0 points1 point ago

She'll find her r/gonewild thread saved in your bookmarks

[–]MadManuel 1 point2 points ago

I did the same thing with an old iPhone..

Frantically called the friend I gave it to, And told her to reset the phone to factory before loading it with games as there was porn on the phone..

She says 'ok sure'

She then sends me a text message about 20minutes later:

"So do you have a butt thing or what?"

She'd watched my porn...

[–]0011110000110011 0 points1 point ago

This isn't /r/reactiongifs. And you're stupid for not using incognito.