I hate it when cashiers make remarks.

Jabbatheslann · 2012-09-29T02:45:17+00:00

/become a cashier

/get bitched at for not socializing with customers

/get bitched at for socializing with customers.

/bring gun to work

1-800-MADEA · 2012-09-29T03:24:38+00:00

Back in the day I brought a box of birth control sponges up to the cashier in my local drugstore.

Cashier: Are you really gonna use these? Me (doubtfully): Uh...yes...? Cashier (turning sideways to display massive pregnant belly): Well, THEY DON'T WORK.

sweetmojaveraiin · 2012-09-29T03:47:03+00:00

hey reddit

I don't think this is supposed to mean that OP hates small talk- I think they just mean they hate the snarky comments that are supposed to be 'cute' but are actually annoying. I love small talk! But I already feel bad enough about buying oreos just for myself- I'd really rather not hear about how 'hungry' I am.

RICH_LITTLE · 2012-09-29T01:09:10+00:00

better than:

"Oooh Vagisil!! Someone's not feeling too fresh today!"

godrim · 2012-09-29T03:26:47+00:00

And as a former cashier we fucking hate customers' remarks...

OH NO THE ITEM DOESN'T FUCKING SCAN... MUST BE FREE HUH?!

Albeezie · 2012-09-29T02:33:24+00:00

Small talk makes the shift go faster. Cashiers are people too!

KoreanTerran · 2012-09-29T01:50:14+00:00

I go grocery shopping at the same time/day every week and always go to the same cashier.

We have nice little chats and we're even friends on facebook now. It's nice to make friends in unconventional ways imo.

nancylikestoreddit · 2012-09-29T02:44:32+00:00

As a cashier, I hate it when strangers call me by my name. Thanks, Nancy...you have a good day as well! It's weird.

CryMeARiver95 · 2012-09-29T03:03:59+00:00

"I hate when people make small talk!"

"I'm forever alone! Why does no one love me?!"

Seems legit, Reddit.

voorhees213 · 2012-09-29T03:25:56+00:00

Am I the only one who thought this was more mean than funny? Maybe it's because I am a cashier.

paradcx · 2012-09-29T02:10:07+00:00

it can be really boring scanning the same stuff all day don't see what's wrong trying to get a little conversation going with some friendlier customers edit: i always say hello and how are you today im talking saying more than that and have an actual conversation

lolLaxer · 2012-09-29T01:19:38+00:00

Funny how the only thing on her tray is a salad.

paulinacat · 2012-09-29T04:35:35+00:00

I hate it when customers make remarks.

"Are you waiting for me?" No. "Someone looks bored!" No. Item doesn't scan, "I guess it's free!" Fuck no.

nancylikestoreddit · 2012-09-29T04:05:52+00:00

As a cashier, this is exactly why I don't make remarks about purchases.

On a sidenote: today, I greeted someone by saying, "how are you today?" He then turned red, said, "I'll tell you in a little while." I then look at his purchases and realize why he had said that. He was buying condoms and a pregnancy test and said, "I KNOW! The irony of my buys today."

Most awkward transaction ever.

GnomeGrown · 2012-09-29T04:10:49+00:00

A FUCKING APOSTROPHE DOES NOT MEAN PLURAL, YOU BARBARIC ASS.

PinkPuff · 2012-09-29T04:51:35+00:00

And I hate it when customers respond to my casual niceties by being condescending douche-bags.

juancamdingo · 2012-09-29T03:24:00+00:00

The guy bagging my groceries yesterday sees my cat food and asks what breed of cat I had. I looked at him confused for a moment before saying, "OH, no this is for chili."

hxcn00b666 · 2012-09-29T03:44:05+00:00

You should here all the shit they get from customers. If I had a dollar for every time something didn't ring up and the customer said "Oh, well I guess it's free then!" I would be fucking rich.

DeathMetalFTW88 · 2012-09-29T02:54:09+00:00

That looks like a fucking Panchos. You can't buy Oreos at fucking Panchos.

totamdu · 2012-09-29T04:14:48+00:00

That's a Greg Warren joke.

Mitz510 · 2012-09-29T04:29:02+00:00

At least give credit to the comedian who told the joke you unoriginal joke thiefs.

http://comedians.jokes.com/greg-warren/bio

I couldn't find the video but he told it in his CC Presents set along with other jokes such as:

Working at a diner.

Being in boot camp.

Uncle who hates the radio baseball announcers.

Source: I have watched nearly every Comedy Central Presents episode and try to watch all of their stand up comedy specials.

trippywoodsct · 2012-09-29T04:39:51+00:00

poor greg warren, never getting credit for his joke

iamoldmilkjug · 2012-09-29T02:50:25+00:00

Why don't you be a human being and have a conversation with this person? That simple act could really make their day, maybe even yours.

raffes · 2012-09-29T00:59:06+00:00

It's always that bitch Shannon

kiky23 · 2012-09-29T03:55:50+00:00

Had the lady at Walgreens comment on how she uses the same pads as me. Lines were crossed...

meatwad75892 · 2012-09-29T04:15:40+00:00

I hate buying filler groceries. You know, when you run out of a few specific things and that's all you buy?

Cashier: Cereal, a dill pickle, and sweet tea? Well that's a really weird combination!

My inner voice: Bitch, I'm not eating sweet-tea doused cereal with sliced pickles! I just needed cereal and tea and felt like treating myself to a pickle!

idiotcookbook · 2012-09-29T04:28:22+00:00

I'm a cashier, and I fully agree with jabbatheslann If I dont make funny remarks I'm a rude bitch If I do make funny remarks I'm a rude bitch. loose/loose situation. So why don't we do this DON'T BE SUCH A BITCH WHEN BUYING SHIT YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE or DONT FUCKING GO SHOPPING. nuffsaid

SchofieldSilver · 2012-09-29T01:38:12+00:00

As a former cashier I can confirm this.

Jerald_Dullen · 2012-09-29T00:59:02+00:00

The best are the looks you get when you show up at the register with only a box a condoms.

my_tactless_opinion · 2012-09-29T04:26:25+00:00

I'm a cashier. You're probably one of the people that come in with a scowl on their face, not make eye contact with the cashier, look outside or down the whole time, and not say one word the through the entire process. I say hello with a smile, you say nothing. I say have a nice day, you walk off with the same scowl you walked in with on your face. The mere act of acknowledging that someone is there seems to pain you. It doesn't bother me, it actually makes me feel sorry for anyone who's like that.

I've come to the conclusion that it probably has to do with a combination of growing up spoiled and self loathing. Basically it just makes you look like an ugly person inside and out. Also, if you're a nice person, not some rude I hate my life twat, you'll get rewarded.

You_Dont_Party · 2012-09-29T02:22:45+00:00

"Oh, that's a lot of food! Are you having some friends over for a cookout?"
"No"

Evantron · 2012-09-29T03:52:41+00:00

Twist: Girl has no Oreos on her plate.

PinkNoodles · 2012-09-29T04:02:15+00:00

One of my first jobs as a teenager was working at a high-end grocery store as a cashier. I saw the other older ladies make funny comments so I tried to fit in and make a few myself. This family came in dressed extremely well and they bought a ton of chocolate. I mean, over $100 worth of nice chocolate. I asked if I could be invited to their chocolate party and they replied that their mom just died and she hated flowers (her reasoning: "They would die-why would you buy something that is going to die?"), so they bought her favorite chocolates for her funeral. I was totally shell shocked, felt like an ass, and kept apologizing profusely. Some of the family members were laughing at my discomfort, but others were pretty pissed. I never made any jokes or remarks after that incident.

The_Original_Gronkie · 2012-09-29T04:08:35+00:00

When I buy a greeting card, I always put it face down under the flap of the envelope so that the bar code shows. That way the cashier can ring it up without looking at it. It works most of the time, but then my local grocery cashiers seem to all get into the habit of pulling out the card, and reading the entire thing, and then commenting on it. I'm buying that card for a personal reason, and I don't want to share it with the cashier, that's why I placed it that way. I finally got fed up and started calling the store manager and complaining. They NEVER do that anymore.

mmmtreats · 2012-09-29T04:20:02+00:00

Believe me, the cashier doesn't want to talk to you either. When I was a cashier, I wish I was wearing what is now a self-service machine disguise. I can just hide behind a box, and scan your purchases. I can do this allllllll day. But that damn over-achieving store manager or lead cashier wants me to make chit-chat wit ya. That's why to this day- I only use the self-service line at the grocery sto.

zhiggins72 · 2012-09-29T04:22:00+00:00

Why can't you credit where this is from? It's a bunch of horse shit. I know it's from a comedian but since this wad of dick took the credit, no one will know about this guy. You can't look up who's joke this is because all that pops up is this image on a hundred different web sites. You could help this guys career out so much just by adding one line with his name in it. Sorry to rant but plagiarizing really sucks.

Edit: it's Greg Warren. Fucking great comedian. Actually I just saw him last week. I cried of laughter twice. The place was half full but this uncredited joke is everywhere. That really sucks.

Isuhydro · 2012-09-29T04:25:50+00:00

Greg warren is amazing. Anyone who likes this needs to listen to his stand up... As this is gis

killuhk · 2012-09-29T04:31:43+00:00

As a cashier at a grocery store, I try not to comment on people's food items. Or anything they're buying. That way, when they're getting something awkward, like lube, they think I'm not really paying attention to their stuff and just scanning. Or at least I hope they think that... :/

sharmander15 · 2012-09-29T04:39:08+00:00

I hate when I ask a customer if they'd like a bag and they reply with 'if you have one.' like fuck, I work in a store, of course I have bags.

heidihannah · 2012-09-29T04:45:34+00:00

Do not move to the South (u.s.) We would drive you nuts. Strangers on the street smiling and being nice. Drivers waving as they pass you. I love it, but it is horror to others.

Serendipitation · 2012-09-29T05:05:05+00:00

Yeah, well I'm a cashier and I hate it when customers open their stupid fuckin' mouths.

Qw3rtyP0iuy · 2012-09-29T05:23:23+00:00

It feels strange seeing people shitting on service people when friendly small-chat with them has only benefited me. At a university I ended up meeting the cafeteria cashier's children who ended up landing me a sweet tutoring gig for her grandchildren and a 4-room apartment to myself for $500/month my last year in university.

You know in movies when one person goes out for a cup of coffee and all of the service people are nice to him and he knows them by name and the second person is like "Whoa, you're a pretty good guy?" ? That landed me a gig in China when a friend said "you're the right person for this"

If she said "Oh, oreos, someone must be hungry" I'd fucking tell her why I was hungry and be nice about it.

crypticXJ88 · 2012-09-29T03:02:11+00:00

Greg Warren. Misquoted, except for the cashier's name.

axcripledxcamel · 2012-09-29T03:47:19+00:00

Do you work here? No I'm just wearing the uniform cause I think it looks fucking fantastic.

Is this register open (while I'm checking someone out)? No it's closed down for maintenance.

In reality: Yes ma'am

Duraace · 2012-09-29T02:56:29+00:00

Aw, that's so hard for you. Someone makes cheerful chit chat even though that sort of thing offends you. :(

trevbot · 2012-09-29T04:39:49+00:00

fuck you, they're people like anybody else and they are trying to make conversation and be a good person.

Again, Fuck You.

jonosvision · 2012-09-29T03:41:42+00:00

My partner worked at Zellers. He said they were told to make remarks like that to make them seem more personable, and make the customers experience more 'enjoyable'. He says there were 5 steps to each transaction, that was step #3.

Gaukler · 2012-09-29T03:57:35+00:00

When I was in highschool I went with my mother to the store a lot to lift things for her. Well sometimes we would just a load of junk food and my mom would try to convince the cashier that this wasn't munchies and we weren't getting high. Those poor awkward people never knew how to reply to my moms oversharing either.

randomsnark · 2012-09-29T03:59:46+00:00

I had a conversation with the guy at the indian food place in the food court a while back that went like this:

Cashier: "Ah, you do a lot of work on computers?"
Me: "Yeah, I guess. How did you know?"
Cashier: [clever grin] "Your shoulders tell so."

I just kind of raised my eyebrows and paid. I've had poor posture since well before I started spending a lot of time on computers - the two aren't actually related. You may think you're Sherlock fucking Holmes, but really all you did was tell a customer they have bad posture.
So, congratulations, I guess.

helium_farts · 2012-09-29T03:59:55+00:00

First: There are no OREO's on her tray.

Second: Who buys OREO's at a food court?

jhawkbball27 · 2012-09-29T04:11:38+00:00

Wait but she's buying a salad not oreos. Im confused

Wogley · 2012-09-29T04:13:08+00:00

Fake remarks/ small talk annoy the shit out of me. Genuine customer service employees are refreshing.

Thorcrusher · 2012-09-29T04:14:17+00:00

I hate it when a price doesnt come up and the customer says " must be free!" hahaha! Shut the fuck up...

greatzimkogway · 2012-09-29T04:23:02+00:00

A shut up, it's just us trying to be friendly, and trying to make an otherwise dull day a bit less dull. If you're offended, just ignore it. Don't be a dick about it.

guruchild · 2012-09-29T04:24:39+00:00

If cashiers make remarks, you bitch about them on reddit. If they don't make remarks, you act like everything is fine towards them, then run off and bitch at their managers about how they were rude. Fuck you, bitch-assed consumers.

esrevinu · 2012-09-29T04:27:13+00:00

{me buying 15 sets of chain link fence parts,60 carriage bolts/nuts and 340ft of tension wire)

Cashier,"you must be installing a fence."

me,"nah, I just tie people up with this stuff for fun..."

Cashier {nervously bites tongue and runs away from register} (after I paid of course)

arcadeguy · 2012-09-29T04:34:22+00:00

I hate when people don't understand how apostrophes work.

toastyblanket · 2012-09-29T04:47:31+00:00

I bet almost noone noticed that the text says "why don't your shut".

Ghostwoif123 · 2012-09-29T04:47:37+00:00

As a cashier from Walmart.. i would get in a lot of trouble for not talking.. and as an antisocial person id force myself to say things which would come out stupid like. "ohh cat food.. do you have a cat?" and i could just see the look on the other person like "NO FUCKING SHIT WHY ELSE WOULD I BE BUYING CAT FOOD"

Bryz_ · 2012-09-29T05:04:58+00:00

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title	comnts	points	age	/r/
True That.	57^coms	567^pts	3^mos	funny
Cashiers, we hate this.	3^coms	10^pts	4^mos	funny
I hate it when cashiers make remarks	16^coms	146^pts	9^mos	funny
Shut up Shannon..	94^coms	233^pts	1^yr	pics
It's shit like this, cashiers...	5^coms	25^pts	1^yr	funny
I hate when cashiers make remarks	3^coms	6^pts	3^mos	funny
When cashiers make remarks..	194^coms	730^pts	7^mos	funny
I hate when cashiers make remarks...	1305^coms	1149^pts	1^yr	funny
When cashiers make remarks.	482^coms	875^pts	2^mos	funny

source: karmadecay

MrLyxek · 2012-09-29T05:37:55+00:00

Isn't this another repost? -.-

chunes · 2012-09-29T07:03:16+00:00

It's much worse when you're the cashier and you have to listen to remarks from a good 40% of your customers.

agdoll · 2012-09-29T03:05:24+00:00

And then if i don't engage in mindless chit chat with customers, they get offended and go complain to management that I was rude. Pfff. Shut the fuck up and enjoy the Oreos, whatever other junk food and NON food items you bought with your food stamps.

tokenwoken · 2012-09-29T03:28:29+00:00

TIL a box of salad is actually considered oreos.

MagicBob78 · 2012-09-29T04:12:44+00:00

I believe this was actually originally said by comedian Greg Warren, I'm just having a bitch if a time finding proof.

triceraclops · 2012-09-29T04:24:08+00:00

Trust me, customers, half the time we'd much rather just punch you in the face. The niceness is active effort to subdue the need to murder you for interrupting my smoke break. Get your Oreos elsewhere, you lonely waste.

Caristinn · 2012-09-29T04:29:05+00:00

What really happened:

http://i.imgur.com/fDi3M.png

Albend · 2012-09-29T04:03:50+00:00

Your welcome, a lot of customers are complete assholes. The fact that you see me smiling half the time is because I killed my humanity deep down inside me so I can ring you up without calling you an asshole. Not because you are, but because Ive dealt with 50 already today. 50 assholes is a realistic number, do you know how much patience it takes to deal with 50 assholes? A lot more then being embarrassed because you bought too many fucking oreos.

why_not_fandy · 2012-09-29T02:58:53+00:00

Because you're fat? It's because you're fat, isn't it.

less_talk_more_bacon · 2012-09-29T03:00:27+00:00

This wasn't funny the first time! 50th time is like torture

Aires_Rogue · 2012-09-29T04:06:24+00:00

Repost of a repost of your grandma's repost.

ryopwns · 2012-09-29T03:43:22+00:00

I hate when customers make remarks.

Shut the fuck up, take your change, and get the fuck out. I don't want to talk to you.

Scarmanz · 2012-09-29T02:13:38+00:00

Last night I got the weirdest looks when I was paying for a jar of Vaseline and batteries.

Pielikey · 2012-09-29T02:52:35+00:00

yeah fuck you shannon, stop trying to act like I'm a human

Ka_blam · 2012-09-29T03:26:55+00:00

We are required to talk to customers at the register where I work.

yobro_ipopmycollar · 2012-09-29T03:28:30+00:00

Christian Finnegan

abusque · 2012-09-29T03:33:55+00:00

Nice use of the greengrocer's apostrophe. Clever, clever.

2012-09-29T03:44:41+00:00

[deleted]

pytechd · 2012-09-29T03:45:04+00:00

The only thing that made working as a cashier in high school was racing the other cashier's for the highest item per minute count on our daily reports. We'd fight over the huge families that came through with 5 or 6 full carts -- it was a discount grocer in the midwest, so it's common for large families to drive to the city once a month and stock up. A single check out like that could bump your item per minute count for a whole shift.

I do have to apologize for all of the smashed groceries. On a good day, a few of us had two baggers going full time to keep up. Usually we were pretty good about not smashing.

It, to this day, enrages me when I encounter a really slow cashier with no bagger!

masonshr · 2012-09-29T03:48:29+00:00

John Caparillo.

doctorqui · 2012-09-29T03:58:56+00:00

"I wish I could afford to buy groceries"

"...awk...ward..."

ContactSc · 2012-09-29T03:59:18+00:00

There aren't any god damn oreos anywhere on that fucking tray.

gnocco · 2012-09-29T04:05:29+00:00

cashier lady is too old to be a Shannon, methinks.

zobbas · 2012-09-29T04:07:27+00:00

A lot of employers force you to talk to the customer to try to show that the company is customer orientated to make people want to come back.

kralrick · 2012-09-29T04:14:19+00:00

This is where you go back and get one cucumber and one condom.

JesusSavesAtWalMart · 2012-09-29T04:19:38+00:00

There's a super friendly exit door receipt highlighter at my local Sam's Club who feels the need to comment on whatever is in your cart, no matter what it is. When I get my prescription filled he always says "get better." It is a sad reminder to me that I'm going to be on medication probably for the rest of my life. Fuck that old man.

rmg22893 · 2012-09-29T04:39:04+00:00

Ironic that this was posted while I was at work. The cashier that I was bagging for was deaf, so I had to make all the small talk for him. Kinda awkward.

Kastenbrot · 2012-09-29T04:39:33+00:00

I used to be a cashier and I used to make remarks on large amounts of boose and my name is Shannon. I should feel bad.

Play3r_ftw · 2012-09-29T04:41:32+00:00

Better than "which account?" "LOL SLAVINGS!!"

rr_at_reddit · 2012-09-29T04:49:51+00:00

Sorry... I don't understand.

So who does the remarks? The cashier's children? The cashier's friends? The cashier's neighbors? There seems to be missing a word in the first sentence on the picture :(

I'm confused now... :(

FueledByBacon · 2012-09-29T04:54:03+00:00

This reminds me of the Whitest Kids' U Know Sketch with the black chick making remarks the whole time that filthy pervert is buying his product.

icinthedark · 2012-09-29T04:58:14+00:00

Cashier: Ooh! Oreos, someone must be hungry. Me: No, Shannon. Just very sad.

theboneycrony · 2012-09-29T05:02:10+00:00

I hate when people use an apostrophe to make a noun plural.

CellularBeing · 2012-09-29T05:07:43+00:00

Happened to me and some friends the other day. Bought a shit ton of munches and such. Cashier says, woah watch out, potheads delight over here. We laugh it off. We get 20 bucks cash back. Cashier says woah I wonder what this is for. We smoked a lot of weed that day.

Puddlefish · 2012-09-29T05:11:26+00:00

This is why I always use self checkouts.

fusepark · 2012-09-29T05:11:49+00:00

I was on strike with the WGA a few years ago. I wanted to serve all the hours asked in spite of some scheduled trips so I usually picketed double shifts, first at Sony and then at Fox. My treat was to go for whatever fast food I wanted after my shifts (I usually picketed from six in the morning to noon). One Friday I headed for the KFC. I've got my strike shirt on, so the guy serving me knows I've actually been walking in L.A. I order a fifteen-piece bucket or somesuch, with all the sides. The guy packs the whole thing up in a couple of bags, then places a single plastic spork atop the megabucket and says:

"Bon appétit!"

I loled. Doubt he'd have done it if I'd been a megacustomer, but I'm skinny and it was hilarious.

MoonBanana · 2012-09-29T05:12:48+00:00

we hate it when you do too. so :P

jakemaniang · 2012-09-29T05:13:22+00:00

And I hate it when someone posts recycled material that stole from a stand-up comedians joke.

Poster: Ohhhhh, look what I found! Shower me with your Kharma!

Me: You shut your whore mouth poster

chottodake · 2012-09-29T05:13:30+00:00

Cashiers are people and not robots...

br00t · 2012-09-29T05:16:55+00:00

I work in retail, older people generally want to be chatted up/acknowledged/shown respect. Younger people usually just want to get in and out.

h_lehmann · 2012-09-29T05:17:27+00:00

I'd have an ass as fat as that one too if all I ate was Oreos.

karatepsychic · 2012-09-29T05:18:07+00:00

I hate the "just this one" comment.

I'd go to a bottle shop and by a carton of beer and a litre of vodka ......"just these two?"

Are you fucking kidding me? If I drink this all on my own tonight I'll probably die.

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