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1266
1267

English instead of German [FB] (imgur.com)

submitted ago by itemInTheBaggageArea

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[–]thermos26 692 points693 points ago

Dude, my grandparents are Germans living in Canada. They sent me a letter with this joke in it something like 15 years ago when the EU was still getting started. This is a repost from before computers.

[–]steezenskis 400 points401 points ago

so then its a "prepost"

[–]crimson127 87 points88 points ago

Auschwitz she said.

[–]woonie 1 point2 points ago

preposterous!

[–]hobofats 103 points104 points ago

Believe it or not, we had computers and the Internet and email in 1997

[–]atlas44 46 points47 points ago

Well, thanks for giving me the option. I choose not to believe.

[–]skyman724 8 points9 points ago

OK, Colbert.

[–]mostcool 6 points7 points ago

I made my first email account in 1996 with mailcity.com

¡¿Wonder if it's still there?!

[–]GreatDrok 2 points3 points ago

University of Kent at Canterbury, 1990. Email and USENET. Amazing how like USENET Reddit is.

[–]KungFuHamster 1 point2 points ago

University of Michigan, 1995.

[–]stmbtrev 0 points1 point ago

Ball State University, 1990.

[–]Fabledx 2 points3 points ago

You said "Ball State"

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]ReactsWithWords 9 points10 points ago

    I read your name as "hobofacts". I think that would be even better than catfacts.

    [–]hobofacts 9 points10 points ago

    The average age of hobos in Los Angeles is 40 years old, although women tend to be younger

    [–]Socialist_Asshole 0 points1 point ago

    Redditor since: 2012-09-29

    [–]superhappyphuntyme 2 points3 points ago

    oh shit, hobo facts from the future!

    [–]Jsiw1017 1 point2 points ago

    I have no idea why I could possibly feel better for knowing that information, yet here I am smiling. Clever account, guy.

    [–]Account_next_door 5 points6 points ago

    Ahh yes 1997, when one could go out and hunt a dinosaure for dinner. I always perfered the velociraptor.

    [–]graziemille 0 points1 point ago

    Yes! This is one of the first emailed jokes I remember going round, I remember my Dad found it hilaaarious. Been a good laugh reading again though.

    [–]Fabledx 1 point2 points ago

    Windows 95 for life! Behhhh..

    [–]ctindel 1 point2 points ago

    I still remember using Trumpet Winsock over dialup since Windows didn't have a built-in TCP/IP stack yet in 1994. Windows 95 was downright revolutionary for Microsoft.

    [–]zombiwulf 1 point2 points ago

    We had aol teen chat in 1997.

    [–]Egg-Suckin-Dog 0 points1 point ago

    I was downloading porn pre-ebay.

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]Dongula 62 points63 points ago

      "A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling"

      Commonly attributed to Mark Twain, though there are some claims that it is authored by M. J. Shields in a letter by him to the Economist.

      For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

      Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

      Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld."

      Note: I just stole this information from the first Google result for "A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling". More information: http://www.spellingsociety.org/journals/j31/satires.php

      [–]Oni_Tabris 1 point2 points ago

      Thank you! I saw this a while back, but without being able to remember much of it other than the general gist, every time I tried to find it since I just found the annoying English-German joke instead.

      [–]travelinghobbit 1 point2 points ago

      Jeremy Clarkson also has a version in one of his books Born to be Riled.

      [–]INeverRedditAtWork 1 point2 points ago

      Upvote for plagarizing.

      [–]agentwilsonx 28 points29 points ago

      15 years ago... This is a repost from before computers.

      Holy cripes, I have email addresses from "before computers"!

      [–]terragreyling 2 points3 points ago

      I knew I saw this about 15 ears ago. Glad not to be the only one. Although, I was quite happy with my third computer 15 years ago. My first was an old Victor Computer with Logo-Writer, than on to Pac-Bell, and then one I built myself. By no means is this before computers, quit making me feel old dammit!

      [–]Frogging101 1 point2 points ago

      Yeah, but whatever. I usually don't mind reposts because I rarely see one that I have actually seen already. I would never have seen this if it wasn't reposted.

      [–]syriquez 0 points1 point ago

      I remember seeing this joke when Calvin & Hobbes was still in print. It came up again when I was my high school German class.

      [–]BullNiro 0 points1 point ago

      I was about to say that this joke is older than me. And I am in my 20s.

      [–]myne 0 points1 point ago

      Yup, got that in my Hotmail long before Y2k.

      I've forwarded it to 1billion email addresses so far...

      [–]QuestionableMouse 0 points1 point ago

      Jeremy Clarkson wrote this exact article in his column wayyyy back, I just read it the other day in one of his books.

      [–]FredTheBarber 0 points1 point ago

      I remember getting this as an email joke back in the dial-up days. It was a repost even then, I guess.

      load more comments (1 reply)

        [–]InsomniacOrca 29 points30 points ago

        Somewhat relevant

        [–]Josmeister 2 points3 points ago

        I actually understood that as "thinking". Either my English is terrible or that guy's English wasn't that bad.

        [–]GamerVixi 19 points20 points ago

        I found, when I was a foreign exchange student in north Germany, saying English words really fast and pretending that you know what you're saying also helps. If that fails, smile and nod.

        [–]fforw 17 points18 points ago

        Ich habe Sie immer noch nicht verstanden. Könnten Sie das bitte noch einmal wiederholen?

        [–]tyme 12 points13 points ago

        Ich bin Ausländer und spreche nicht gut Deutsch!

        [–]GeorgeOlduvai 6 points7 points ago

        SCHMETTERLING!

        [–]CarolusMagnus 7 points8 points ago

        BUTTER, FLIEGE!

        [–]UtopicVision 0 points1 point ago

        PERFECTENSCHLAG!

        [–]UnmercatorGreenland 5 points6 points ago

        BUTTERFLIEGE

        load more comments (1 reply)

          [–]surryhills 0 points1 point ago

          http://youtu.be/5t_KwOcg0ms

          [–]SkitTrick 0 points1 point ago

          "I am an Aussie and I speak pretty good German"?

          [–]jakemyers7 79 points80 points ago

          No invading Poland won't help

          [–]illvetis 18 points19 points ago

          Spielverderber

          [–]jackcatalyst 27 points28 points ago

          France won't work either.

          [–]DieFappy 1 point2 points ago

          I'm pretty damn sure France would work like a charm because they'll surrender immediately.

          [–]jakemyers7 10 points11 points ago

          Shes in an attic

          [–]SkitTrick 1 point2 points ago

          from pirated EU copies of Playstation 1 games, I know Spiel means Game, right?

          [–]GamerVixi 7 points8 points ago

          I didn't say I talked much in Germany just that when I did I said it really fast. When they would ask me to repeat myself I just smiled and admitted I didn't speak German and tried in very broken German to respond.

          [–]imelik 0 points1 point ago

          Noch ein mal Bitte.

          [–]fforw 5 points6 points ago

          Das hat sie gesagt.

          [–]growlingbear 1 point2 points ago

          Ich fand, wenn ich eine ausländische Austauschschüler im Norden Deutschland war, sagen englische Wörter richtig schnell und so zu tun, dass Sie wissen, was Sie auch sagen können. Wenn das fehlschlägt, Lächeln und Nicken.

          [–]Stopikingonme 152 points153 points ago

          Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
          Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
          Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
          Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

          [–]Samuel_Gompers 94 points95 points ago

          This reminds me of similarly apocryphal story. Sometime in the 1960's, an older Pan-Am British Airways pilot is coming in to land at Frankfurt am Main. He's never landed at this particular airport before and is asking a lot of questions about the timing, runways, etc. when ground control says to him:

          "Sir, these are basic questions, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

          to which the pilot replies

          "Yes I have, twenty years ago, but it was dark and I didn't land."

          EDITED FOR HISTORICAL ACCURACY

          [–]filioqueclause 9 points10 points ago

          False.

          The USAAF bombed Germany during daylight - the RAF bombed at night.

          [–]Samuel_Gompers 2 points3 points ago

          You know, I knew that. I didn't even think that far into repeating the story. Just make it British Airways then.

          [–]filioqueclause 2 points3 points ago

          As much as I'd love to say it's fine now, British Airways didn't come into being until the 1974 merger of BEA and BOAC, making the '20 years ago' about a decade out.

          History jokes: worth getting right.™

          [–]tartay745 35 points36 points ago

          Fun fact. In order to fly a plane you must know English because all communication between any tower and any plane is in English.

          [–]doobiedoob1 5 points6 points ago

          Even in china?

          [–]Franhell 25 points26 points ago

          Everywhere in the world (now that I think about it probably not North Korea)

          [–]randolf_carter 3 points4 points ago

          Probably not Myanmar either

          [–]Magick-NL 3 points4 points ago

          I believe the French are known to do it French while in France.

          [–]Vithar 0 points1 point ago

          So, I don't think this is right. I'm a pilot and fly around the USA, I travel to Russia a bunch, and have never flown there, but going to an airport to see about renting a plane, and there was none, and would be no English. A close friend is a commercial pilot and has flown various international routs, and he tells me that some places will use English for airplanes coming from USA as a courtesy, but its not a sure thing.

          [–]shrididdy 5 points6 points ago

          Yup. Have read it is a disaster.

          [–]DarkSideMoon 4 points5 points ago

          Legally yes, but GA in China is horrifying and most ignore the rule.

          [–]4n7h0ny 3 points4 points ago

          Really? Can you give anymore details? Thanks

          [–]DarkSideMoon 2 points3 points ago

          Here's a link to a guy doing contract air work http://www.airlinepilotforums.com/foreign/66156-flying-china.html

          I'm still looking for the GA article I read before.

          load more comments (1 reply)

            [–]paranode 4 points5 points ago

            Yes. Now imagine the most stereotypical Chinese person speaking bastardized English, and then imagine running it through a radio. Eck.

            [–]grackychan 0 points1 point ago

            Mandated by the ICAO.

            [–]nastros 0 points1 point ago

            Not true my Father is ATC he attends a lot of conferences where Pilots and Air traffic control meet to discuss new route plans etc. One that tends to come up is the amount of countries that do not obey the rules set down and also come up with crazy rules. One example was ATC in India who had two planes lined up one after the other couple of miles apart and both planes were traveling at 400mph. Indian ATC made the second plane slow to 360mph because he had 4 engines and the plane in front had 2. The pilot tried to explain the idiocy of this policy but was told he could not land unless he did it.

            load more comments (2 replies)

              [–]libertyordeath11 32 points33 points ago

              This reminds me of a story my girlfriend once heard (she's a flight attendant). Apparently, there was an elderly couple who were absent on a Lufthansa flight and the pilots were reporting the missing passengers over the radio. Their last name was something like Dreyfus or Steinberg and one of the pilots from a British airline said over the radio "Tell them to look in their ovens."

              [–]shivers13 11 points12 points ago

              I... don't get it. I'm sorry.

              [–]chime 35 points36 points ago

              Literally Holocaust.

              [–]shivers13 5 points6 points ago

              Whoosh! Thanks!

              [–]Danevati 11 points12 points ago

              Dreyfus and Steinberg are both really Jewish names.

              [–]rainbowtunnel 3 points4 points ago

              I shouldn't have, but this also made me laugh.

              [–]marulono 3 points4 points ago

              Well speaking in English didn't work out so well for the German Coast Guard.

              [–]KungFuHamster 6 points7 points ago

              I can guess without watching: "Vat are you sinking about?"

              [–]cbfw86 1 point2 points ago

              Two World Wars and one World Cup, doo-da, doo-da.

              load more comments (18 replies)

                [–]scorpio242 40 points41 points ago

                This has been your quick guide to dolan-speak

                [–]DonOntario 1 point2 points ago

                Goofy pls.

                Edit: Damn it! I won't edit my original statement, because it would be dishonest to hide my shame. But, yes, it should be "gooby". I actually googled "gooby dolan" before making my comment and then was fooled by Better Know Your Meme, who showed a dolan comic using "goofy". I should have known better.

                [–]ensabahnur 13 points14 points ago

                Accually is Gooby.

                [–]EchoFiveTwo 6 points7 points ago

                gooby

                [–]xTravis_Bicklex 4 points5 points ago

                Gooby*

                [–]PalermoJohn 3 points4 points ago

                fak u

                load more comments (1 reply)

                  load more comments (2 replies)

                    [–]sojewtastic83 22 points23 points ago

                    FWD:FWD:FWD:LOL:RE:FWD

                    [–]exactly9000 13 points14 points ago

                    /r/forwardsfromgrandma

                    [–]gsabram 6 points7 points ago

                    wow there really is a subreddit for ev- POW

                    [–]Zondraxor 1 point2 points ago

                    Holy subreddit for everything, Batman!

                    [–]touriste 10 points11 points ago

                    It's funny we have the same joke in French.

                    [–]OrrinH 18 points19 points ago

                    find it and post it.... s'il te plaît

                    [–]touriste 1 point2 points ago

                    Bruxelles, 8 déc. (AFP) - La Commission Européenne a finalement tranché: après la monnaie unique, l'Union Européenne va se doter d'une langue unique, à savoir... le français.

                    Trois langues étaient en compétition : le français (parlé dans le plus grand nombre de pays de l'Union), l'allemand (parlé par le plus grand nombre d'habitants de l'Union) et l'anglais (langue internationale par excellence).

                    L'anglais a vite été éliminé, pour deux raisons : d'une part, il aurait été le cheval de Troie économique des Etats-Unis ; d'autre part les Britanniques auraient été privilégiés, eux dont l'influence est aujourd'hui limitée au profit du couple franco-allemand à cause de leur réticence légendaire à s'impliquer dans la construction européenne.

                    Le choix a fait l'objet d'un compromis, les Allemands ayant obtenu que l'orthographe du français, particulièrement délicate à maîtriser, soit réformée, dans le cadre d'un plan de cinq ans, afin d'aboutir à l'eurofrançais.

                    1. La première année, les sons actuellement distribués entre 's', 'z', 'c', 'k' et 'q' seront répartis entre 'z' et 'k', ze ki permettra de zupprimer beaukoup de la konfuzion aktuelle.

                    2. La deuzième année, on remplazera le 'ph' par 'f', ze ki aura pour effet de rakourzir un mot komme 'fotograf' de kelke vingt pour zent.

                    3. La troizième année, des modifikazions plus draztikes seront pozzibles, notamment ne plus redoubler les lettres ki l'étaient ; touz ont auzi admis le prinzip de la zuprezion des 'e' muets, zourz éternel de konfuzion, en efet, tou kom d'autr letr muet.

                    4. La katrièm ané, les gens zeront devenu rézeptif à dé changements majeurs, tel ke remplazé 'g', zoi par 'ch',- avek le 'j' - zoi par 'k', zelon les ka, ze ki zimplifira davantach l'ékritur de touz.

                    5. Duran la zinkièm ané, le 'b' zera remplazé par le 'p' et le 'v' zera lui auzi apandoné - au profi du 'f', éfidamen on kagnera ainzi pluzieur touch zur no klafié.

                    Un foi ze plan de zink an achefé, l'ortograf zera defenu lochik, et lé chen pouron ze komprendr et komuniké.

                    Chalu !

                    [–]venusinfurs24 8 points9 points ago

                    this is from the jeremy clarkson book "born to be riled"

                    [–]LordAro 0 points1 point ago

                    This needs more upvotes, damn plagarists :L

                    [–]Yazza 12 points13 points ago

                    RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:FORWARD:RE:RE:funny pic lol

                    [–]poopyfarts 6 points7 points ago

                    r/funny today is just screenshots of other sites

                    [–]WhiteGuyThatCantJump 4 points5 points ago

                    As opposed to any other day?

                    [–]tohellwithwhales 4 points5 points ago

                    few years ago there were lot of self posts with jokes.

                    [–]Ultyma 4 points5 points ago

                    TL;DR

                    [–]theendoftheinternet 0 points1 point ago

                    Thanks. I was going to have to state this.

                    [–]19mine 5 points6 points ago

                    Come to think of it, "C" is a bullshit letter. Fuck you C!

                    [–]shrididdy 1 point2 points ago

                    It is so useless. It should only make the sound it makes in Italian before an e or i, 'ch', other than that is useless.

                    [–]Namyag 1 point2 points ago

                    *Fukk

                    [–]withoutamartyr 4 points5 points ago

                    Isn't this just a repackaged and modernized Mark Twain joke?

                    [–]tOaDeR2005 0 points1 point ago

                    fairly clever take on it i think

                    [–]URKiddingMe 4 points5 points ago

                    Being German, I find this very hilarious...

                    [–]Valdair 2 points3 points ago

                    My best friend wrote a three-page essay along the same lines in high school. It was pretty brilliant. By the last page it was completely incomprehensible if you hadn't read it all.

                    [–]Nukeman 2 points3 points ago

                    Toward the end there I was reading in a German accent.

                    [–]ANakedBear 11 points12 points ago

                    that is because it was spelled so that you had to use a German accent to read it...

                    ...it was the point.

                    [–]spock_block 2 points3 points ago

                    It's funny because the Germans know English, but the British also only know English.

                    [–]QuestionableMouse 0 points1 point ago

                    So Jeremy Clarkson actually wrote this in his column years back. Comedic writing at its finest.

                    [–]Mr_Wolfgang_Beard 0 points1 point ago

                    Saw it here yesterday. IDK if that is OC though. Kinda cool if we've managed a full internet lifecycle in 1 day though.

                    [–]Herpdederperson 1 point2 points ago

                    Well I like the k and s replacing "c" idea but other than that no thanks

                    [–]DevilsLittleChicken 0 points1 point ago

                    This is ancient. Think my dad told me this when I was around 12. I'm now 32. Along with the old IRA (now refitted for Al qaeda) joke about letters in the alphabet.

                    [–]expertonbreasts 0 points1 point ago

                    Worth the read. zank yu

                    [–]dorekk -1 points0 points ago

                    I am trying so hard to punch this post in the face.

                    (Also, insanely old joke. See the Twain reference.)

                    [–]tjean 1 point2 points ago

                    My brain started reading this with a lisp and then slowly but surely transitioned until my head voice sounded like Hitler.

                    [–]imnotmarvin 0 points1 point ago

                    Gradual_German

                    [–]mastershake5987 1 point2 points ago

                    Halfway through it felt like I was playing a Mortal Kombat game.

                    [–]creamcheesefiasco 1 point2 points ago

                    My aunt sent this to me as a chain mail back in 02. Thanks for the memories.

                    [–]Obrieneric851 -1 points0 points ago

                    WHAT THE FUCK?

                    [–]replaysMike 0 points1 point ago

                    *you're.

                    [–]sumamus_exordio 0 points1 point ago

                    isn't the "e" at the end of "people" silent?

                    [–]ChrisKimchee 0 points1 point ago

                    Wat ze fuk?

                    [–]Frogging101 0 points1 point ago

                    I like how it progressively gets more and more difficult to read.

                    [–]Elledan1211 1 point2 points ago

                    That actually looks like how idiot kids text nowadays.

                    [–]Ace1999 -1 points0 points ago

                    ERMAGERD FAFFADERP

                    [–]Deak369 0 points1 point ago

                    This was a good book to read

                    [–]tame17 -1 points0 points ago

                    This is one of the most genius things I've seen.

                    [–]Xogmaster 0 points1 point ago

                    TL;DR

                    [–]Dick_Dollars 0 points1 point ago

                    A picture of text, awesome.

                    [–]completelytrustworth 0 points1 point ago

                    As old as the internet

                    [–]unicornbeans 0 points1 point ago

                    Totally went from reading this in a British accent to a German one

                    pissed myself laughing

                    [–]ryko25 0 points1 point ago

                    I think I first got sent this circa 2003

                    [–]willyp228 0 points1 point ago

                    this had me cracking up by the end

                    [–]classy_stegasaurus 0 points1 point ago

                    Wow, German looks like an easy language to learn. Why are we not teaching these cool sounding words in schools?

                    [–]purplepug22 0 points1 point ago

                    I don't come here to read! Gosh!

                    [–]SrslyTaken -1 points0 points ago

                    Gripping my ribs with laughter towards the end. Mother of God this is Genius. Why the hell would anyone down vote this?

                    [–]matlej1337 0 points1 point ago

                    This is not German at all.

                    [–]patricknayani 0 points1 point ago

                    wait so the europiun union is going to speak internet yay

                    [–]Shaidown 0 points1 point ago

                    Literally older than the internet

                    [–]kevkevmacattack 0 points1 point ago

                    quite possibly the wittiest Facebook post i have ever seen.

                    [–]sayatan 0 points1 point ago

                    languaj*

                    [–]Pesvardur 0 points1 point ago

                    Oh god, I couldn't stop laughing after the second half of that.

                    [–]Stonie19 0 points1 point ago

                    I Lov zis

                    [–]fani 0 points1 point ago

                    Damn... this is eerie. Last night I was just thinking about this piece but couldn't remember it. And voila! like magic it makes FP today.

                    [–]Chrischn89 -1 points0 points ago

                    That is f-ing gold!

                    [–]BR5497 0 points1 point ago

                    Definitely sounds more french

                    [–]BlueShamen 0 points1 point ago

                    Does it bother no one else that fotograph is only 10% shorter photograph?

                    [–]ReactsWithWords 1 point2 points ago

                    But fotograf is 20% shorter.

                    [–]rob644 0 points1 point ago

                    so does this mean i know german now?

                    [–]Kootsie 1 point2 points ago

                    Probably already mentioned: There is a c in the 3rd last sentence.

                    [–]todayismyluckyday 0 points1 point ago

                    Repost or preport...it's still brilliant.

                    [–]informationmissing 0 points1 point ago

                    This is the only actual laugh I've gotten from reddit today. Thank you anonymous facebookist.

                    [–]Aifryz -1 points0 points ago

                    What?

                    [–]ScruffMacGruff -1 points0 points ago

                    tl;dr

                    [–]ComebackShane 0 points1 point ago

                    /r/forwardsfromgrandma

                    [–]charles2511 0 points1 point ago

                    Who has this much time

                    [–]mudpiex579 0 points1 point ago

                    NEW SPEAK

                    [–]ElGuru -1 points0 points ago

                    tl;dr

                    [–]The_GeoD 0 points1 point ago

                    Ok, we understand this is old. dieses ahnlich nicht Deutsch. dieses simpel brieflich im uberspannt Deutsch Akzent. I'm sorry. My grammar is terrible. Also, there are triple letters in German... Betttuch for example.

                    [–]Surfing_Turtle 0 points1 point ago

                    to long... downvote

                    [–]mbn8807 0 points1 point ago

                    I read the German part in Johann Krauss' voice...it just seemed appropriate.

                    [–]sandwich_hater 0 points1 point ago

                    genius. pure genius.

                    [–]ChinskiEpierOzki 0 points1 point ago

                    Why must this be a Facebook status?

                    [–]ASSinAssassin 0 points1 point ago

                    So by year 2 they will be spelling just like every kid on my Facebook feed.

                    [–]Jsiw1017 0 points1 point ago

                    I just laughed so hard at that, I literally shat. Most important reason I toilet browse /r/funny.

                    [–]BastWithB 1 point2 points ago

                    I'm German, I dont get it - why? the last sentences make no sense and form no German words whatsoever D:

                    [–]Cliqey 0 points1 point ago

                    regarts, Hatler

                    [–]HedonisteEgoiste 1 point2 points ago

                    Old as BALLS. Read this in a South African magazine 5 years ago.

                    [–]Hovsky 0 points1 point ago

                    Why did "year" change to "yer?"

                    [–]Operatics 0 points1 point ago

                    This is the funniest shit I've ever seen on this site. Don't care if it's a repost.

                    [–]Kurochihiro 0 points1 point ago

                    I read this whole thing out loud

                    [–]Intimate_bear 0 points1 point ago

                    I click on the post, and I got out.

                    [–]Babelfish14 0 points1 point ago

                    It's really sad how english-speaking countries are taught languages at a later age than most other countries...

                    [–]Uniquitous 0 points1 point ago

                    Older than the Internet.

                    [–]xPaulWallx4 0 points1 point ago

                    Question: If they are removing 'c' from the keyboard by delegating the soft and hard 'c' sounds to 's' and 'k' respectively, How do they plan on spelling the word 'changes' or other 'ch' words?

                    [–]hdizzydawg -1 points0 points ago

                    yeah theres no way im reading all that

                    [–]jal0001 1 point2 points ago

                    After reading the top voted post of all time on reddit vs. this...This better replace it.

                    [–]thepatburke -1 points0 points ago

                    clicked... saw a lot of writing. clicked back moved on to next link on reddit.

                    [–]FabioFan 0 points1 point ago

                    Too much reading... Next post...

                    [–]Beautiful_tothebone -1 points0 points ago

                    Clicked on link, saw the insanely long status.. Fuck that.

                    [–]woolensculpture 0 points1 point ago

                    Is it just me or could anybody else read the whole thing quite easily in the correct form of English?

                    [–]404-shame-not-found 0 points1 point ago

                    ...and now we know why German is relative of English and vice versa.

                    [–]rainbow_banana 0 points1 point ago

                    Mark Twain did something like this, just saying

                    [–]bman1130 -1 points0 points ago

                    That would literally destroy the entire English language, whether this is true or not. This would be a worse decision than electing George Bush Jr. to office for another 8 years.

                    [–]jessejabs 1 point2 points ago

                    did anyone here ever look at a map and see where the Anglos or the Saxons came from

                    [–]ChaosRobie 0 points1 point ago

                    Remove q and x too. Those are literally the most useless letters.

                    quick -> kwick

                    plaque -> plak

                    xylophone -> zylophone

                    ax -> aks

                    exam - >eksam

                    Nothing of value is lost.

                    [–]Brumisator 0 points1 point ago

                    Of course this isn't true. the official languages of the EU have been English and French since its creation.

                    [–]Snowy1234 0 points1 point ago

                    I originally wrote this in 1994 as a demonstration of MS Word 'replace' feature. Not kidding.

                    [–]ThatDamnPoop 0 points1 point ago

                    I felt russian, reading the end of that post.

                    [–]Rabbit-master 0 points1 point ago

                    Haha, genious!

                    [–]crazycatfreak90 1 point2 points ago

                    too long man

                    [–]Veton1994 0 points1 point ago

                    My mind just got blown!

                    [–]Pineappable 0 points1 point ago

                    If you think English is bad, you've obviously never seen french...

                    [–]pigeon_man 0 points1 point ago

                    Did it become more and more German as it went on, or did it become nonsense? I ask that because my knowledge of the German language is severely lacking.

                    load more comments (22 replies)

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