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Things that make you go AWW! -- like puppies, and bunnies, and so on...

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The 24-7 competition for the cutest things on the Internet -- determined by you! Submit a link to a cute photo or video and your fellow cute-lovers will vote on how much it makes them go "Aww." The cutest stuff will rise to the top, so check back often for your serotonin fix.

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Oh, this little guy! (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by xorgthezombie

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[–]Aubrey76 68 points69 points ago

My Monkey story. Went on a School field trip to an exotic animal ranch. Cute girl in my class tried to pet a chimpanzee through the bars. Chimp grabs her by the hair, violently pulls her head into the cage, masturbates and ejaculates all over her face and hair. Then releases her. Hope You enjoyed.

[–]drowning_fish 47 points48 points ago

I heard an almost identical story except the monkey was a dude and the zoo was a jail.

[–]TuneRaider 4 points5 points ago

Miggs?

[–]Spamallthethings 3 points4 points ago

The Miggs Boson.

[–]Chispy 5 points6 points ago

Yes.

[–]SureSignOfAGoodRhyme 5 points6 points ago

The animal ranch security guy

[–]originalnutsack 2 points3 points ago

How long did it take?

Edit: girl screaming ... FapFapFapFap done.

[–]Aubrey76 3 points4 points ago

It was less than 10 seconds. No one could even start to help her. She actually walked away laughing wiping it off

[–]a_black_dildo 3 points4 points ago

My Monkey story. Went on a School field trip to an exotic animal ranch. Cute girl in my class tried to pet a chimpanzee through the bars. Chimp grabs her by the hair, violently pulls her head into the cage, masturbates and. ejaculates all over her face and hair. Then releases her. Hope You enjoy

Wouldn't that be erotic animal ranch?

[–]Aubrey76 0 points1 point ago

It is for the Monkey.

[–]briannamermaid 1 point2 points ago

what did she do about it? what did ANYONE do about it??

[–]Aubrey76 1 point2 points ago

She didn't freak out at all. Just walked away laughing and wiping it off her face. The rest of us were relieved to see that there were no bites or scratches. the Monkey I bet was ready for a nap and maybe a snack. It's surprising how fast those little guys can crank one off.

[–]atc_like_a_boss 14 points15 points ago

What is that thing!?!? And how much and will it eat my face in 10 years?

[–]missbhope 5 points6 points ago

Please for the love of Reddit, do not buy one. The only difference from any other monkey is that when it hates you, it can't hurt you that bad.

[–]jbingles 6 points7 points ago

Baby marmoset!

[–]stoltesawa 12 points13 points ago

To be precise, I believe it's a baby Roosmalens' dwarf marmoset and, in my opinion, is superior in adorability to other marmosets. (I freaking love this guy!)

[–]jbingles 4 points5 points ago

I just knew what it was because I saw a Dora the Explorer episode one time that had them. They just kept repeating the name.

[–]stoltesawa 4 points5 points ago

Oh Dora, what can't you teach the world!

[–]Cyrino420 -1 points0 points ago

This is what it is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_marmoset

[–]atc_like_a_boss 2 points3 points ago

That thing is amazing...I want one!

[–]Cyrino420 1 point2 points ago

This piss and shit everywhere and smell funny. Not a recommended pet.

[–]funkypenquin 1 point2 points ago

But so do I.

[–]missbhope -1 points0 points ago

Someone, not for the same reasons, finally understands exotic animals should not be pets!

[–]warhol451 0 points1 point ago

it's actually a pygmy marmoset

[–]Cubicle_Surrealist 2 points3 points ago

not to be confused with the golden marmoset

[–]Cyrino420 -2 points-1 points ago

No that's a common marmoset. Clearly the link you posted makes it obvious this is not a pygmy marmoset. Let's try this again.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_marmoset

[–]Davedough 27 points28 points ago

I keep throwing money at the screen, but no one has delivered my baby marmoset yet.

[–]Spamallthethings 5 points6 points ago

Those things are so cute.... their little fingers trying to hang on for dear life...

[–]SkruffyPretzals -5 points-4 points ago

So you enjoy there fear?

What a sick human you must be!

[–]Spamallthethings 2 points3 points ago

I enjoy fear in any location. The way it clings on just looks like it is doing so in desperation, that's all.

[–]RICH_LITTLE 6 points7 points ago

just look at his little belly!!!

[–]dictino 6 points7 points ago

REALLY?! i posted this months ago and i got down voted to shit and all people were saying was that it was a repost of about 5 times...how the hell did you get that much karma for a repost?!

[–]jaquardia 1 point2 points ago

the karma gods have bad days too

[–]dictino 0 points1 point ago

...man...your right, this sucks!

[–]LinuxBoi 3 points4 points ago

Knock Knock, 2003 wants it's JPG back!

[–]YeoEuiJu 3 points4 points ago

Dammit this picture finally made me upvote on an aww post. That thing is cute man.

[–]digbus -3 points-2 points ago

So you up voted a repost

[–]deja-vu-comment 3 points4 points ago

just look at his little belly!!!

.

[–]spicyfishtacos 2 points3 points ago

I just feel like I would accidentally crush it. It actually scares me because of how fragile it seems.

[–]long_live_king_melon 1 point2 points ago

I feel like I'd lose it.

[–]grandmacaesar 2 points3 points ago

Hop! Hop! Hop! I am a Yop.

[–]grandmacaesar 1 point2 points ago

So...Reddit doesn't like Dr Seuss' One Fish Two Fish?

[–]ladyspatch -1 points0 points ago

Look at that little leg...awwrr.

[–]princessvail -1 points0 points ago

I want one

[–]EulersPhi 0 points1 point ago

That's either a very large hand, or a very small monkey.

[–]Vix3000 0 points1 point ago

Skansen-Jonas!

[–]Fo- 0 points1 point ago

I wouldn't worry about this little guy!

[–]Zebrasoma 1 point2 points ago

Something that will make people aww:

Thousands of these guys have been exported across the world for the pet trade, and on average 12 monkeys die for the 1 baby to end up in cute photos as pets. They typically slingshot them out of trees and kill the moms when the babies are young, then raise them.

Also, the excuse that you have one that was bred in captivity is an illogical one, because you're furthering the problem to have an exotic pet to make you happy, not the species as a whole.

[–]Madacatta 0 points1 point ago

agreed! and there's a difference between being bred in captivity and being domesticated.

[–]Alix_Chris 1 point2 points ago

Did anyone else stick their finger up just to see how small the monkey would be?!

[–]quintessadragon 0 points1 point ago

That is the most adorable thing I've seen all day -no, all week. Thank you

[–]seasquared 0 points1 point ago

"I wouldn't worry about that little guy."

[–]PepNYC 0 points1 point ago

Wow. That's one HUGE hand.

[–]Liduldestiny 0 points1 point ago

Google finger monkey and you will find this.

[–]Exitiumx 0 points1 point ago

Freaks me out a little how significantly bigger insects are compared to some mammals!

[–]giant_marmoset 0 points1 point ago

thought it would be bigger.

[–]Ezaraku 0 points1 point ago

Pygmy Marmoset. Did a report on them once in 8th grade.

[–]URASSHAT 0 points1 point ago

Where the fuck do I have to go to get the finger monkey?

[–]kijib 0 points1 point ago

that's a small monkey

[–]zuka_zanamee 1 point2 points ago

Bite size! Yummy...

[–]satisfyreality 0 points1 point ago

wot?

[–]Pmall3535 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who immediately thought of The Legend of Ricky Bobby?

[–]Katana622 0 points1 point ago

I'd step on that thing and crunch it under my boot.

[–]Chirp 0 points1 point ago

Oh my God ... Don't you know the incredible strength of monkeys?!

That could have killed you or at very least ripped off your fingers.

[–]Iaminfactafemale 1 point2 points ago

Monkey story. I used to work at hickory farms, aka the sausage palace, and one time a lady brought in her baby marmoset. Now technically animals weren't allowed in the store but It was the first time I'd ever seen a marmoset and I sure as heck wasn't gonna make it go away. Anyhow, his handler asked if she could have a sample, so I hand her a piece of sausage on a toothpick and as she was bringing it to her mouth, the marmoset ran up her arm and STOLE THE SAUSAGE OUT OF HER MOUTH.

TL;DR A marmoset came into sausage palace and stole a piece of sausage with his tiny monkey hands.

[–]trevolution -1 points0 points ago

Fingermonkey!

[–]jacq_willow 0 points1 point ago

I'm going to the zoo tomorrow... by Sunday there will be some very sad kids that won't get to see a marmoset.

[–]thebearwrestler 0 points1 point ago

Woah! You have huge fingers!

[–]Dude-what 1 point2 points ago

Careful, it has rabbis.

[–]teeteepoo 0 points1 point ago

you have one large hand there pal!!!

[–]Solonaki 0 points1 point ago

Giant hand

[–]rarecoder 0 points1 point ago

Your hand must be HUGE!

[–]josht0121 0 points1 point ago

He looks like a burger

[–]AgentXander 0 points1 point ago

http://imgur.com/oThVE

[–]ChristianRLL 0 points1 point ago

Looks like a baby ewok

[–]johnsbury 0 points1 point ago

Not a very useful animal, you'd need at least 10 of them to make a pair of gloves. On the other hand a little corn meal, and a stick and you've got yourself a delicious corn monkey.

[–]SueZbell 0 points1 point ago

Wild animals should be wild and free....but I can't help being pleased to have seen this pic.

[–]tigerpoptart 0 points1 point ago

living in a world of giants!

[–]AntonChigurh85 0 points1 point ago

Here's a video I took at a pet store in Tokyo selling those guys. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znYyim6S3Ys

[–]e123b 1 point2 points ago

Its a pygmy marmoset. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmy_marmoset

[–]stoltesawa 4 points5 points ago

Actually, I think it's a Roosmalens' dwarf marmoset. Pygmies look like this and Roosmalens' look like this.

Not trying to be a know-it-all, I just think Roosmalens' are cuter and being able to ID them will facilitate better image search results. :D

[–]e123b 0 points1 point ago

I think you're right judging by the pictures. I've seen OP's pic in class and my prof said it was a pygmy but looks like she's wrong.

[–]Cyrino420 -4 points-3 points ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_marmoset

[–]stoltesawa 1 point2 points ago

Are you sure? I think the Roosmalens' looks more similar to OP's picture.

[–]Cyrino420 -4 points-3 points ago

Common marmosets are what everyone has as they are plentiful and cheap. Any sort of pygmy marmoset is very expensive, harder to find, and they die easily.

Edit* I own marmosets so I got an eye for how they look.

[–]stoltesawa 0 points1 point ago

Well, they're so close it's hard to tell. Looks like this photo is from Everland Zoo in South Korea, so it's possible this guy might be a rare exhibit.

You own marmosets? Like, as pets?

[–]Cyrino420 -2 points-1 points ago

I breed them and sell the handraised babies as pets.

[–]stoltesawa 0 points1 point ago

Seems like an opportunity for karma to me. I'd love to see pictures!

[–]NoSysyphus 2 points3 points ago

I saw a pygmy marmoset at the Singapore zoo several years ago. There was a placard describing the pygmy marmoset on the guardrail of a balcony. Beyond the balcony, at about arms length, there was a clump of bushes or small trees. Just under the canopy of the bushes there was what appeared to be a bamboo bird cage, empty. My friends and I scratched our heads for awhile, puzzled at the lack of marmoset. Then a bunch of birds nearby started squawking and a very tiny, hairy little monkey-man-creature scurried across the guardrail, leaped into the bushes and crawled inside the cage through a concealed hatch. He seemed a little nervous until the birds went away, and not at all interested in our pleas to come out. It was so tiny and so human-like that it was surreal and hilarious.

[–]e123b 1 point2 points ago

Thats awesome! The only monkey story I have is when a juvenile orangutan chased me around his enclosure trying to give me a hug, until I finally gave him one. I was really young, so it was a little bit scary haha.

[–]Cyrino420 -5 points-4 points ago

No it's a common marmoset. The picture on wiki makes it obvious it isn't a pygmy marmoset.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_marmoset

[–]Gigit1977 -1 points0 points ago

I saw a marmoset in a pet store once. It tried to gouge out my eyes.

[–]poonslyr69 -1 points0 points ago

I heard the African finger raping monkey is quite rare, where did you go to hold one?

[–]Galifreyan2012 -2 points-1 points ago

It's so fluffy I want to die.

[–]borkedddd 1 point2 points ago

here is a better picture of this little guy.

[–]disasterific -1 points0 points ago

Still, the cutest thing ever.

However...I just noticed it was a repost. Holy crap. Never noticed a repost before.

Carry on.

[–]Blooddrenched -5 points-4 points ago

Best when deep fried.

[–]REgangsta -1 points0 points ago

that is just cruel

[–]Pathfinder551 -3 points-2 points ago

How long do I have to cook it?

[–]maddogmlj -1 points0 points ago

what kind of animal is it

[–]REgangsta -2 points-1 points ago

ME WANTS!!!

[–]FyuuR -2 points-1 points ago

I thought it was a semi-naked woman from the thumbnail.

[–]Cyrino420 -3 points-2 points ago

That's a baby common marmoset for anyone that is wondering.

[–]butterfly1988 -2 points-1 points ago

I saved that exact picture on my camera roll just the other day off google...who knew it could get karma

[–]delonybro 0 points1 point ago

One of the most reposted images on reddit

[–]clinteastwood1990 0 points1 point ago

It's my first time seeing this:S

[–]LittleWho -3 points-2 points ago

Its about a 6000$ pet, and it's only legal in some of the American states....

[–]Cyrino420 -2 points-1 points ago

No they are $1500-$2500. I'll sell you one at $6000 anytime you want.

[–]LittleWho 0 points1 point ago

I'm quoting the price to own one in Canada; at least through the local breeders I've interacted with. Everything in America is cheaper....

[–]e123b -4 points-3 points ago

Need I mention that it's also extremely cruel to keep exotic pets like this outside of their natural habitat?

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