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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 325

[–]Vyvyan-Basterd 200 points201 points ago

It's a racing snail!

[–]keepingtheblade 229 points230 points ago

[–]TheOtherOneIsMyAlt 59 points60 points ago

I came in here hoping for context. Then, I saw this and completely stopped giving a fuck.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]StarlingV 12 points13 points ago

You. I love you.

[–]TurkAlert 30 points31 points ago

The guy who rode the racing snail in The Neverending Story is the same dude who played all the Oompa Loompas in the new Willy Wonka movie! His name is Deep Roy.

[–]bobdolebobdole 2 points3 points ago

[–]Xerofuryz 0 points1 point ago

i love him!

[–]toomuchpork 2 points3 points ago

Man thanks for reminding me how old I am getting... I remember seeing him in The Pink Panther Strikes Again in '76 AT THE THEATER! He appears at 1:50 here EDIT: but his best role is Aaron on E.B.A.D.

[–]Notblackandwhite 8 points9 points ago

And no one gives a hoot about me and my stupid bat!

[–]WhoMouse 2 points3 points ago

I didn't give a hoot about the guy, but I loved that bat.

[–]IronMan42 7 points8 points ago

They look like big, good, stroooong hands, don't they.

[–]soosuh 4 points5 points ago

but because of the title I thought of this before I clicked

[–]WPI-Amac 3 points4 points ago

GabeN's preferred mode of transportation.

[–]k3mck 5 points6 points ago

Came here for Neverending story; was not disappointed. Upvote for you!

[–]Sithwedgie 20 points21 points ago

gawd dammit that's what I wanted to say!

[–]TheFoxDonut42 21 points22 points ago

You're not the only one. I grew up on that movie; it used to scare the shit out of me

[–]SarcasticMermaid 25 points26 points ago

Atreyu was my first crush

[–]squidsquidsquid 15 points16 points ago

YES! YES! YES! I watched that movie at least once a day. And I had a giant stuffed dog which bore a passing resemblance to Falcor, so I reenacted the movie as I watched it. Pretty much on repeat. When I wasn't watching the Sound of Music or Eyewitness Cats. I was homeschooled.

[–]Sureiyaa 1 point2 points ago

You should go watch the sequels. They definitely won't ruin your memories Especially not not the third one (that clip has not been altered in any way)

[–]njstein 6 points7 points ago

that fucking wolf was terrifying.

[–]CapnScumbone 1 point2 points ago

me too. my second was the empress. also...i am male. very confusing.

[–]Sithwedgie 10 points11 points ago

I'm not alone! Hey, weren't those odd walky-pinchy monsters in the other Never Ending Story movie freaky as hell?

[–]cptrooster 2 points3 points ago

"YES ... We are."

[–]RosieRotten 2 points3 points ago

The fucking turtle. Every time.

[–]grandteton 3 points4 points ago

The wolf right? Going back as an adult I think "Wtf was I thinking? Jason Vorhees wasn't scary but this guy was?"

[–]cpnHindsight[!] 2 points3 points ago

Take a journey back

[–]originalusername2 6 points7 points ago

if (user.birthYear() <= 1990 && user.clickedComments())
{
    boolean commentMade = commentThread.ctrlF("racing snail");

    if (!commentMade)
    {
        user.makeComment("It's a racing snail!");
    }
}

[–]GorgeouslyHumbl 4 points5 points ago

You didn't define your functions. WHERE ARE THEY!?

[–]dirice87 3 points4 points ago

in the global namespace, along with all the variables. MUAAHAHAHA

[–]TheStatusBro 71 points72 points ago

Funny, this is what I imagine most redditors looking like.

[–]amyfarrahfowlerphd 27 points28 points ago

Being ridden by men?

[–]OneTrueFoe 6 points7 points ago

Ah... The old Reddit switch-a-roo

[–]5870guy111 2 points3 points ago

no... please! I NEED TO SLEEP! WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME!

[–]NobleSteed 2 points3 points ago

reporting for duty!

[–]shorty6049 57 points58 points ago

YOU PEOPLE ONLY UPVOTED THIS BECAUSE IT'S A HOT GUY!

[–]StupidButSerious 11 points12 points ago

OMG /r/Ladyboner material right there

[–]Bassgasm10 140 points141 points ago

Seriously, why is this on r/WTF? It belongs on r/funny or something.

[–]ButteredPelicanAnus 86 points87 points ago

My ex-girlfriend used to let her pet snails crawl across her clitoris to get herself off.

[–]OhBlackWater 28 points29 points ago

This is far more wtf than the op.

[–]wildawkwardredditor 59 points60 points ago

Nope. As a female, that is a large nope. Not even once.

[–]ButteredPelicanAnus 22 points23 points ago

I know it's strange to some people, but she seemed to enjoy it. She once asked me to shake up lubed up coke can and stick it up her ass (business end down) so that she could pop it open.

[–]njstein 38 points39 points ago

You lost a fuckin' keeper, bro.

[–]ButteredPelicanAnus 57 points58 points ago

I ended it for a variety of reasons but chiefly because it turned out she preferred Friends to Seinfeld.

[–]simpia 26 points27 points ago

I feel like you are just full of stories.

[–]MrWeirdlust 14 points15 points ago

Or coke.

[–]HipsterSC 1 point2 points ago

And he hasn't even told us about how he got his username.

[–]calicojones 7 points8 points ago

..this is a man with his priorities in proper order.

[–]Wbran 10 points11 points ago

[–]HipsterSC 6 points7 points ago

Sounds like an anti drug comercial.

 Snails Crawling across your clitoris.

           Not even once.

[–]AdvocateForLucifer 2 points3 points ago

As a male, I hope Rule 34 applies.

[–]unicorn_zombie 1 point2 points ago

I'm pretty sure that's technically considered animal abuse.

[–]originalusername2 2 points3 points ago

Wait, there are people who don't know about snailing?

[–]Brian_is_trilla 1 point2 points ago

the only time I have ever felt it appropriate to say this: "WHOOMP THERE IT IS!"

[–]Aldir 6 points7 points ago

There should be a subreddit called /r/lolwut for pictures like this. I volunteer to mod.

[–]blueboxbandit 2 points3 points ago

belongs in /r/statuegropers

[–]DarknessFallsOverUs 1 point2 points ago

Because children on Reddit.

[–]evanphi 16 points17 points ago

This guy is a photographer in my hometown. Cool guy. http://danculberson.com/

[–]TheyreEatingHer 4 points5 points ago

The guy riding the snail?

[–]arcamanel 2 points3 points ago

yup. He even did a photoseries on exploring his obesity.

[–]honeythyme 36 points37 points ago

WHATTTT. Here is me sitting on the same "steed". http://i.imgur.com/fkgbl.png

[–]MVolta 8 points9 points ago

quick, post this to /r/pics or /r/funny and get as much karma as OP.

actually, probably more for being a girl. GO!

[–]TrollTrooper 1 point2 points ago

Aren't you that girl in the Pussy Portraits?

[–]kindaladylike 20 points21 points ago

Not r/wtf at all, but rather hilarious.

[–]Deconstruction_Z 13 points14 points ago

If this guy had a horned helmet and a flaming sword it would be the greatest picture ever taken.

[–]jtcglasson 3 points4 points ago

Someone do this!

[–]ClareBear 10 points11 points ago

[–]HobbitFoot 7 points8 points ago

That made me giggle.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

this is more /r/aww than /r/wtf

[–]TheAwkwardBanana 5 points6 points ago

I'm so, so sorry.

http://i.imgur.com/jJMtn.jpg

[–]jdub0319 9 points10 points ago

This is great, but I don't think it belongs in /WTF. Maybe /r/funny? Either way, great pic.

[–]Rapt0rrr 5 points6 points ago

scarra, is that you?

[–]leah_b 2 points3 points ago

I've been having a pretty shitty time lately, and this just filled me with absolute, utter joy. Thank you.

[–]RegalCabbage 9 points10 points ago

So why is this in WTF instead of funny?

[–]Ajpimpcycle 4 points5 points ago

Lmao, best thing ive seen all day.

[–]BitterDivorcedDad 0 points1 point ago

Nice 'chop, mang.

[–]thatwongguy30 2 points3 points ago

Is it purebred?

[–]BJoyce19 0 points1 point ago

Surprised I haven't seen Gaben photoshopped on this

[–]impyandchimpy 0 points1 point ago

This is picture of the day!

[–]A_Real_Canadian 0 points1 point ago

My god, he looks so happy!

[–]pinkcarnation31 2 points3 points ago

This makes me think of Uzumaki .. shudder

[–]killzer 0 points1 point ago

How is this wtf-worthy.

[–]leaf1389 2 points3 points ago

this needs to go to r/photoshopbattles

[–]Grahambert 2 points3 points ago

OMG! level 40! Got an epic mount!

[–]king_bestestes 0 points1 point ago

GABEN. STAHP.

[–]thisismichelled 2 points3 points ago

Never ending story

[–]Meanfacemick 2 points3 points ago

Never ending story is the only thing that comes to mind.

[–]TheRaymac 0 points1 point ago

Teeny Weeny doesn't look too teeny anymore on his racing snail.

[–]vodkee 2 points3 points ago

Nobody gives a hoot about me and my stupid bat!

[–]adz1179 0 points1 point ago

9/10. Would view again

[–]Neiliobob 21 points22 points ago

Do you have a bigger link. Good lord, look at the SIZE of it.

[–]emoness88 15 points16 points ago

Never-ending link?

[–]platypus95[S] 5 points6 points ago

Isn't that one of the NeverEnding Story movies?

[–]JavaLSU 15 points16 points ago

There's only ONE neverending story movie.

Good day sir!

[–]platypus95[S] 5 points6 points ago

My sincerest apologies good sir!

[–]JavaLSU 17 points18 points ago

I SAID GOOD DAY!

[–]Racist_Rooster 1 point2 points ago

Nice human

[–]Juice_Tin 0 points1 point ago

I could imagine you puttin' around Wal-Mart on one of those.

[–]giginut 0 points1 point ago

I want to feel that level of happy every single day.

[–]lincolnfan01 1 point2 points ago

At dawn... We ride.

[–]NatTreav 0 points1 point ago

I hope someone photoshops this.

[–]darkwavechick 2 points3 points ago

[–]SkipWinter -1 points0 points ago

love it!

[–]SlugsAreAwesome 1 point2 points ago

I must know where this is!!!

[–]d00m3d_d00d 0 points1 point ago

Dennis Nedry actually did escape with the samples, this picture was taken a few years later after a new company named Jurassic Pets launched.

[–]nonatal -1 points0 points ago

I think this is the most adorable thing I've seen all day. Also I am so envious, and just realized how long it's been since I've had fun.

[–]alphaferric -1 points0 points ago

First thoughts were not wtf, they were: FUCK YEAH MAN I WUNNA RIDE A SNAIL TOO!!!

[–]SubtleMockery 0 points1 point ago

NOPE.

[–]Zul_rage_mon 1 point2 points ago

Sweet like the snail from "Never Ending Story"

[–]infestblair 0 points1 point ago

Hmm....makes sense.

[–]Kneel2TheUnreal -1 points0 points ago

I want this guy to be my friend.

[–]suprman511 1 point2 points ago

[–]TheHoInMO -1 points0 points ago

That made me smile :)

[–]CommunistPenguin -1 points0 points ago

That is badass.

[–]ChemEForMe 0 points1 point ago

TIL Snail Rodeos occur in forests.

[–]KattOBrien 0 points1 point ago

what a very tiny man.

[–]dadadadanger 0 points1 point ago

I would ride into battle with this warrior.

[–]soggydave2113 0 points1 point ago

Dr Doolittle?

[–]sabrestang -1 points0 points ago

This is by far the best post I've seen on reddit in months. Nonstop lulz.

[–]iamhanszimmer 0 points1 point ago

this screams for r/photoshopbattles to mess with...

[–]Joobeejoo47 0 points1 point ago

Meanwhile, in Australia,

[–]Jerimiah808 0 points1 point ago

I wish I was that happy ever.

[–]Swordslice73 0 points1 point ago

OP joined Reddit 10 hours ago and now has over 1,000 karma from this post. Wow.

[–]crucial88 1 point2 points ago

Why is Chris Christie on that snail?

[–]swampy13 0 points1 point ago

'Snailed it.

[–]rana_rae 0 points1 point ago

By the power of Greyskull!

[–]Zaiyetz 1 point2 points ago

This picture is older than the internet.(not really) but I think I saw It on 4chan a long time ago.

[–]BBQsauce18 0 points1 point ago

There is so much potential in this one photograph.

[–]aussieham 0 points1 point ago

Sam Tarly!

[–]whelpltn -1 points0 points ago

Ga..Gaben?

[–]brutalsun 1 point2 points ago

Not wtf but ok.

[–]unone1216 0 points1 point ago

Is... Is tha-...Is that Stephen Colbert?!!

[–]adfrey -1 points0 points ago

Butt Stallion?

[–]SucculentSoap 0 points1 point ago

We're going to need Alot of salt.

[–]VeryTallDog 0 points1 point ago

[–]honeythyme 0 points1 point ago

I can't even believe that. I sit on that exact friggin' snail every year. But not only does it stop there! This beautiful beast lives near the snail: THE ARMLESS KANGAROO. http://i.imgur.com/udwQd.png

[–]EquinsuOcha 0 points1 point ago

Scumbag Redditors - Make a Neverending Story thread about steeds - ignores the death of Artax.

[–]thunderlordcid 0 points1 point ago

And life just got a little better.

[–]Federigo824 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of the snail mount from Lego Pirates of the Caribbean

[–]EquinsuOcha 0 points1 point ago

If we are about to die anyway...I'd rather die fighting! Come for me Gmork! I am Atreyu!

[–]RussianNarwhals 0 points1 point ago

Which one?

[–]Asmodiar_ 0 points1 point ago

Well gent's it appears I have gone back to the year 2009

[–]firestepper 0 points1 point ago

Meanwhile on reddit...

[–]ColinD1 0 points1 point ago

Neverending Story ftw, sure someone else said it too

[–]th3m1ke -1 points0 points ago

Good to see Kim Dotcom enjoying his freedom!

[–]V3RTiG0 0 points1 point ago

Hello, NEWMAN!

[–]musical_stampede 1 point2 points ago

I like your smile.

[–]sterob6 0 points1 point ago

SNAILPRIDE :)

[–]Existential_Proism 0 points1 point ago

Wow, too bad the entertainment industry is too cool to do dark scary children's stories with deeply layered moral themes.

[–]NBurg[!] -1 points0 points ago

Its a snail made of chocolate. Thats why he's so happy.

[–]yellowumbrellaz 0 points1 point ago

The guy's out of the snails league. He shouldn't be riding him.

[–]mtbr311 0 points1 point ago

Climb up on my bigass steed.

Gonna ride, gonna smoke some weeeeeed

[–]Mr_Ibericus 0 points1 point ago

SNAILED IT!

[–]thexunblindx1 0 points1 point ago

not wtf

[–]turboknight 0 points1 point ago

Jesus I wish could be as happy as him

[–]WickedMystic4 -1 points0 points ago

platypus95

what r u doin?

platypus95

stahp

[–]demosthenocke 0 points1 point ago

Are you Star Wars kid all grown up? That's a nice racing snail you have there, Mr. Raza.

[–]hr0nk 0 points1 point ago

i fucking LOVE this picture.

[–]ragingbonerface 0 points1 point ago

A sloth on a snail. How novel.

[–]No11223456 0 points1 point ago

I'm just wondering how many photos had a dong in it till they got this one.

[–]freakzilla149 0 points1 point ago

Don't bother, I think you'll better off just walking... even in your condition.

[–]Jokkerb 0 points1 point ago

It amazes me what people decide to use photoshop to create.

[–]somethin121 0 points1 point ago

I don't think I've ever been as happy as that fat man riding that giant snail looks in that picture.

[–]AnViLLiaN- 1 point2 points ago

So that's why it takes Newman so long to deliver the mail.

[–]Dunder_Chief 0 points1 point ago

[–]noblesteeda 0 points1 point ago

Did somebody call for me?

[–]danieldeboulay 0 points1 point ago

Must. Not. Pour. Salt.

[–]vapz 0 points1 point ago

I don't care what any of you think...

SO MUCH WIN

[–]NikaTay 0 points1 point ago

Neverending Story racing snail!

[–]Nawdah 0 points1 point ago

[–]Moltk 0 points1 point ago

We should call him reptar. That was sooo tommy of me right now.

[–]Aaronmcom 0 points1 point ago

There you go again! Ruining starwars kids life allllll over.

[–]Evref 0 points1 point ago

ultra snail's speed.

[–]thebigm101[!] 0 points1 point ago

still goes faster than my moms car

[–]homeless_nudist 0 points1 point ago

This... is... AWESOME!

[–]thatwouldbesweet 1 point2 points ago

Back to making fun of fat people, eh Reddit?

[–]artsyallene7 0 points1 point ago

Your racing snail looks like he might be sick. They're normally faster than that...

[–]Hippopotonugget 0 points1 point ago

That's what happens when you put pepper on a snail.

[–]clear_the_coast6 0 points1 point ago

Derp?

[–]CheezIts_YAY 0 points1 point ago

And you're holding him by the EYE!?

[–]GrandadsLadyFriend 0 points1 point ago

Is it weird that I'm totally jealous of the fun that guy is having?

[–]ecdw 0 points1 point ago

snagli. get your dragon saphira to eat them

[–]yate 0 points1 point ago

[–]NobleSteed 0 points1 point ago

reporting for duty!

[–]rexstuff 0 points1 point ago

This is my snail, my snail is amazing, give it a lick......

[–]sektz 1 point2 points ago

Yeah this was posted to 4chan last night. Nice OC OP!

[–]CanIGetaHellYeah 0 points1 point ago

Climb upon my faithful steed

Then we gonna ride

Gonna smoke some weed

Climb upon my big ass steed

And ride, ride, ride

[–]oinache 0 points1 point ago

What is that thing on the snail?!

[–]nxscuban 0 points1 point ago

pure joy

[–]KingoftheTrees 0 points1 point ago

I fucking love this man! If he was a pedophile I would glady give him my daughter for an autograph.

J.k. it would have to be an autographed picture.

[–]sfcol 0 points1 point ago

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET OFF OF HIS EYES!

[–]buckupkid 0 points1 point ago

You're hurting it.

[–]King_Dingeli 0 points1 point ago

You should def walk instead of riding

[–]volkof 1 point2 points ago

this is what i imagine the majority of redditors look like.