this post was submitted on
1,415 points (54% like it)
8,879 up votes 7,464 down votes

funny

subscribe2,496,381 readers

8,346 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 166 comments

[–]BlackPresident 356 points357 points ago

Daddy, I don't get it. Who are we again? Can't we just go as pokemon?

[–]The_Dok 308 points309 points ago

"Shut yer goddamn face. Dad needs his karma"

[–]punktual 104 points105 points ago

...when you knock on the doors say "yo bitch, got any rock... candy?"

[–]unicorn_zombie 60 points61 points ago

In all fairness, he is the one who knocks.

[–]LegalWalrus 7 points8 points ago

ROSEBUD

[–]Uberguuy 5 points6 points ago

Damn! Spoilers, man!

[–]moneymoneymoneymonay 145 points146 points ago

got any MINERAL...candy?

Fixed. Jesus Christ, Marie.

[–]ronton 10 points11 points ago

Hahaha incredibly witty.

I was kind of hoping those minerals would play a part in the story development to be honest

[–]FattyMcPatty 3 points4 points ago

At least they represented 2 things.

1: his compulsive need for progress.

2: how fucking bored he was.

[–]toclafane 8 points9 points ago

I am the one who knocks!

[–]cromwest 7 points8 points ago

You cut that rock candy with chilli P?

[–]ienjoymen 4 points5 points ago

Yer God Damn right we do

[–]CharioteerOut 5 points6 points ago

Shit's kafkaesque, yo.

[–]UsernameNotFound404 34 points35 points ago

[–]339studios 15 points16 points ago

You post this gif and get down voted. I just saw a guy post "Yeaaa bitch" and gets 25 upvotes. I don't get it. Have a useless upvote.

[–]UsernameNotFound404 12 points13 points ago

Thank you, kind sir.

[–]bcarle 4 points5 points ago

It's the this. Always the this.

[–]bagada 0 points1 point ago

Forgot the Magnets

[–]AnViLLiaN- 1 point2 points ago

Give me my candy... BITCH

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]The_Dok 3 points4 points ago

[–]9Freeski 0 points1 point ago

Why does this happen so often? People link to absolutely random off the wall sites in comments and it always makes me really nervous that I may have picked up some Internet STD's.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 17 points18 points ago

Yeah this shit is stupid. These kids do not comprehend this show. They think its cool, because their daddy thinks its cool.

Why not let them dress up with something they actually like?

[–]stokd 5 points6 points ago

Because they're kids and this is their one and only Halloween and will never have another chance to dress up again, fuck!

Sorry just got finished watching South Park. Feeling a little sarcastic.

[–]define_irony 0 points1 point ago

CALM DOWN. Halloween is more than a month away.

[–]IronLung420 -1 points0 points ago

If they think its cool maybe they wanted to dress up like it. Besides how many little kids dressed up as snow white or the little mermaid know the REAL story. Not the for kids Disney version.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 3 points4 points ago

I highly doubt a child has the thought process to come up with "I WANT TO BE WALTER WHITE FOR HALLOWEEN"

[–]IronLung420 -5 points-4 points ago

Not necessarily as well thought out as that. Maybe they just wanted to be him because he's the main guy in the show.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 4 points5 points ago

a show that is about cooking and dealing meth, murder and sex? a show that has bigger words and plot lines than those kids could even dream of?

[–]rxshea 4 points5 points ago

if i had a kid, he'd be Tuco.

tight tight tight

[–]caseyjhol 0 points1 point ago

There may have been one episode where sex was implied; I'd hardly say that's what it's about.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 0 points1 point ago

there are a good 5-10 with sex in it

[–]FattyMcPatty 0 points1 point ago

Have you see the first episode? They have sex. Right there in the bed. Likely anal.

Then later, they fuck in the car.

Even later, jesse bangs a hooker.

Walt nearly rapes skylar in the kitchen.

It's not about sex, no, but it's hardly something that's "Implied" for maybe one episode. It's solidly confirmed multiple times.

[–]FattyMcPatty 0 points1 point ago

That kind of programming isn't even appropriate for them.

[–]FattyMcPatty 0 points1 point ago

I'd be willing to wager that the kids up as snow white or little mermaid, likely dressed as the disney verison of snow white and the littler mermaid. What does their knowledge of the actual tale have anything to do with it?

[–]FattyMcPatty 1 point2 points ago

Because karma whores. I really hate it when I see posts like these, but instead titled "PARENTING AT ITS FINEST" or some shit like that. Raising your kids correctly? Trivial. Dressing them up as something reddit likes? PARENTING LEVEL: FINE

[–]UhWellThatsNotGood 2 points3 points ago

That's what it looks like when two children break into badass

[–]derkahderkah 0 points1 point ago

Heisenberg is not satisfied!

[–]h8bit 0 points1 point ago

My exact thought. What kind of shitty fucking parent would make their kids dress up as characters from an adult TV show? Depressing.

[–]cheesesauceboss -3 points-2 points ago

this.

[–]Alarmed_Ferret 143 points144 points ago

Fisher Price's My First Meth Lab.

[–]maybeBlackMesa890 41 points42 points ago

YYYYYEEEEEAAAAA BITCH!!!!!

[–]lasrith 9 points10 points ago

Yeah! Science!

[–]HustlerThug 11 points12 points ago

Cook, Sell, Grow.

[–]BZLuck -1 points0 points ago

Empire.

[–]gregorkafka 41 points42 points ago

Get Jesse some blue poprocks and popeye cigarettes. Hold the ricin.

[–]lisabadcat 72 points73 points ago

Yeah, that's a great show for kids.

[–]QuacksLikeAHorse 24 points25 points ago

Reddit flips a lid anytime that picture of kids in Jersey Shore costumes shows up, but apparently there's no problem with dressing your kids up like fictional meth dealers.

[–]DeliriousZeus 35 points36 points ago

Actually, reddit is flipping its lid, in the form of the comment you just responded to.

[–]Capn_Cook 9 points10 points ago

Yo, we're manufacturerers, bitch

[–]IronLung420 2 points3 points ago

At the end of the day Jersey shore is still full of douche bags. These guys go home and do other things.

[–]undercover_apple 102 points103 points ago

"I am the one who knocks"

"No I am the one who knocks!"

"Mooooom!"

[–]TheFruitStripeZebra 8 points9 points ago

This is my favorite joke I've ever seen on Reddit.

[–]varemia 13 points14 points ago

Probably my favorite is the vertical with Skye and Walter:

Walter: Tell me a joke.

Skye: Knock knoc...

Walter: I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

[–]amputeenager 0 points1 point ago

Breaking news update: undercover_apple is my new King/Queen of Reddit for today (and possibly longer)...film at eleven.

[–]trampus1 22 points23 points ago

Candy, bitch.

[–]pacman_7 7 points8 points ago

TIGHT TIGHT!!

[–]Diggens 33 points34 points ago

"Daddy, I want to be Spiderman!"

"Be quiet and go get the glue for this bald cap, Daddy's busy."

[–]iamanooj 108 points109 points ago

As much as I find this awesome, I hope the choice was the kids' choice and not the parents forcing them to do something they didn't want to do. But then that would mean that these kids are watching Breaking Bad, and as awesome as it is... I do not know if it is age appropriate.

[–]schmorrell 23 points24 points ago

Toward a comprehensive Halloween Costume Ethical Theory.

[–]The_Swoletariat 16 points17 points ago

I don't think any kid would want to wear khakis and a button down shirt for Halloween

[–]Gougeru 12 points13 points ago

Spoiler alert

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

Don't worry, children being shot is totally age appropriate.

[–]SeveredBanana 28 points29 points ago

Spoiler tag, dude.

[–]Gougeru 4 points5 points ago

Edited for you

[–]SpongeFreak52 21 points22 points ago

I don't think that's how it works.

[–]reddit-ulous -2 points-1 points ago

Look at the sidebar of /r/pics

[ text here ] ( / spoiler )
But without all the spaces

[–]syphrean 0 points1 point ago

The Game Just testing.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DarkTwistedFantasy 0 points1 point ago

Nope

[–]Tejnin -1 points0 points ago

It's not age appropriate... One day they will see how awesome they were, though :)

[–]GustavoFrings 0 points1 point ago

Woosh! It's in reference to an episode where a kid is shot.

[–]Moosey_Doom 1 point2 points ago

Might wanna check whom Tejnin is replying to.

[–]GustavoFrings 0 points1 point ago

Foiled by reddit mobile. Eh.

[–]xauzzyx 0 points1 point ago

Well then when/if you have kids you don't have to let them watch it.

[–]sashimi_taco 14 points15 points ago

Why is dressing up like a meth dealer awesome and dressing up as the jersey shore terrible parenting?

[–]Capn_Cook 8 points9 points ago

Because we like Breaking Bad and hate Jersey Shore (and Dish)

[–]publius4 32 points33 points ago

As much as I love Breaking Bad, I don't think dressing your kids like fictional methamphetamine cooks is the best idea.

[–]HustlerThug 7 points8 points ago

It's more that they don't even know about the show. Some one of them is just disguised as bald.

[–]ThatBeardedCarGuy 0 points1 point ago

Maybe daddy is promoting his own side gig.

[–]define_irony 0 points1 point ago

That's the point of dressing up. Have you ever complained when a kid dressed up as the serial killer/mass murderer Jason?

[–]publius4 0 points1 point ago

At that age, I'd be a little weirded out. The kid on the left looks like he's four. When he's ten, maybe.

But even if you did dress them up as serial killers, etc. at this age, at least they would sort of understand the costume.

I can't imagine these kids even understand what a meth cook is, and they're certainly going to ask about their costumes. So either you're dressing them up like something they don't understand and almost certainly didn't want to dress as, or you're going to have to introduce them to the wonderful world of methamphetamine and probably just confuse them further. Take your pick.

[–]tevert 7 points8 points ago

You should get a whole bunch of blue jolly ranchers, then try to sell them door to door. Quite-like.

[–]Simssega 18 points19 points ago

Come on, it not even October yet.

[–]zephyy 13 points14 points ago

pinkman

pinkie

walt has a large head

large brain

pinky and the brain

[–]SubzeroQK 1 point2 points ago

One is a genious, the other is insane

[–]_WALTER_WHITE__ 13 points14 points ago

Thats supposed to be me?

[–]woof2woof 5 points6 points ago

Walt? Where's Jesse?

[–]_JESSE__PINKMAN_ 11 points12 points ago

Yo. You called for me?

[–]DAngelo_Barksdale 0 points1 point ago

most def

[–]hockeyfan69 7 points8 points ago

Jesus Christ I hope that kid's cranium isn't that big and thats some sort of optical illusion.

[–]I_am_not_a_horse 6 points7 points ago

It's a bald cap. He probably has a mound of hair underneath that's making his head look big.

[–]sgderp87 3 points4 points ago

Offer blue rock candy everywhere you go.

[–]leetpwnstar 3 points4 points ago

Put the candy in the bag BIIIITCHHH!

[–]michelletrachtenberg 3 points4 points ago

what happened to parenting? when i was their age i wasnt allowed to watch ren and stimpy because it was graphic..

[–]skullfullofbonghits 2 points3 points ago

YO! TRICK OR TREAT BITCH!

[–]court101 3 points4 points ago

Some candy boys?

[–]WestWays818 3 points4 points ago

Dammit, I wish I had two sons... You should make some blue crystallized sugar and put them in baggies!

[–]drew_tattoo 1 point2 points ago

Thank you. I came here to ask who they were supposed to be but from your comment I'm thinking it's a Breaking Bad reference?

[–]WestWays818 1 point2 points ago

Yup, it is. For some more clarification, left is supposed to be Jesse Pinkman, and right is Walter White Sr.

[–]GeebusNZ 0 points1 point ago

Is that an evil Merch?

[–]zack2703 1 point2 points ago

...Lenin?

[–]skza 0 points1 point ago

So...I can't be spider man again this year mom?

[–]pandaretrovirus 0 points1 point ago

Close, but Jesse needs to be wearing more yellow or red, and Walt is missing the trademark green.

[–]MR_WITTY_RESPONSE 0 points1 point ago

Can I repost this to /r/breakingbad?

[–]dez4u 0 points1 point ago

Coming next Fall to TLC: Kiddos in Kostumes.

[–]fabiangunz 0 points1 point ago

Fucking dope! Made my day.

[–]atomic1fire 0 points1 point ago

Someone photoshop some hair and a hev suit and I think you have a gordon freeman costume, Crowbar optional.

[–]aqaspecification 1 point2 points ago

I can't believe you shaved your child's head* for precious karma. How did you feel after you did it? Like a karma-craving skank? I bet you did.

*I can see the skin-coloured cap, but we all know those things don't look right if there's hair underneath them.

[–]combzy89 0 points1 point ago

FAT STACKS OF CANDY YO!

[–]Nubman77 0 points1 point ago

At least say xpost from /r/breakingbad

[–]WhalePIMP 0 points1 point ago

Kids: Trick or Treat! Dad nudges the, Kids:Oh......BITCH!

[–]brownmagician 0 points1 point ago

Looks like Big Daddy's kid?

[–]corballer 0 points1 point ago

I think the younger kids shirt is the beat part. Hits jessie pinckmans ghetto side just right

[–]Atmosck 1 point2 points ago

Is it bad that my first thought was Dean Pelton?

[–]Bardlar 0 points1 point ago

Not at all. You sir are awesome. I love the goatee. This IS the darkest timeline.

[–]dltn97 1 point2 points ago

They have no idea who their dressed as.

[–]TheProle -1 points0 points ago

That's Lance Zerlein's kids. He's a sports talk guy from Houston. Their grandfather was a NFL coach.

[–]PigeonBoy -1 points0 points ago

SO. MUCH. YES.

[–]Itsmeagainmom 0 points1 point ago

I'm in the candy business.

[–]CptnCanuck 1 point2 points ago

Y'know, I was actually looking for the "N" on the taller ones forehead. I never watched breaking bad, so my mind instantly though Neo Cortex.

[–]freecandy_van -1 points0 points ago

Yo gimme some candy, bitch!

[–]Immadino -1 points0 points ago

Knock knock GATORADE ME BITCH

[–]interweb_troll -1 points0 points ago

Why didn't you put this in the Breaking Bad subreddit?

[–]The_Pigeon_Boson -1 points0 points ago

I thought it was jay and silent bob at first glance. The "why is he bald" question led to a second look.

[–]wolfgang5feet -1 points0 points ago

Give credit.

[–]jjohnstn -1 points0 points ago

HALLOWEEN YO!

[–]meltyuse -1 points0 points ago

[–]TFail342 0 points1 point ago

These kids are, like awesome, Bitch

[–]TaxCunts 0 points1 point ago

We're done when I say we're done. Mom. I need more candy.

[–]shroomtat 0 points1 point ago

Make sure he gives away blue rock candy

[–]apb1979a 0 points1 point ago

the one on the right looks like a Roswell alien trying to pass as a human

[–]MikeMulkey 0 points1 point ago

"Yo bitch gimme some candy!" "We want the fineness riches candy, pure candy"

[–]carbonatedbeverage 0 points1 point ago

Juice box me, BITCH

[–]Klamour 0 points1 point ago

Love.

[–]DrewPnuts 0 points1 point ago

I know what this is!

Repost

[–]ianrichardarndt 0 points1 point ago

just made my day.

[–]gobstopper84 0 points1 point ago

So today is the first day of the barrage of costume posts. Great...

[–]crAZyAZn42 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else think it was Yuri before they thought about Breaking Bad?

[–]failspy 0 points1 point ago

I am the one who knocks... for candy.

[–]Apotheosis91 0 points1 point ago

Yeahhhhh! Candy, bitch!

[–]puppyfister 0 points1 point ago

My kids are the same way as these two. Cant keep them away from the damn stuff.

[–]hectorlca 0 points1 point ago

"I'm literally dying..."

[–]jKnox 0 points1 point ago

jesse.......jesse!

you shit your pants.

[–]jaxzz 0 points1 point ago

Parenting done right.

[–]seanseanclan 0 points1 point ago

Halloween, bitch!

[–]_JESSE__PINKMAN_ -1 points0 points ago

It's like my mini-me!

[–]Bardlar 0 points1 point ago

I know who they're intended to be, but I can't help think that the older son looks like Dean Pelton from Community. He must be from the darkest timeline though, because he's got the goatee.

He also looks like Cortex (Crash Bandicoot).

[–]deuxace 0 points1 point ago

lol He's the one who knocks :P

[–]FattyMcPatty 0 points1 point ago

These halloween posts are more out of season then wal-mart's holiday decorations.

I like it.

[–]SubzeroQK 0 points1 point ago

I was totally gonna do this, but now I can't because they do it better

[–]nWo4lifeSweet 0 points1 point ago

Shot in the dark but why dress up with a bucket for candy when oh I don't know it's September!!

[–]Skinnyasspants -1 points0 points ago

Yes. YES.

[–]llaki 0 points1 point ago

Pinkman and the Brain.

[–]maketho 0 points1 point ago

Good job at stealing the post from r/breakingbad.

[–]MTGothmog 0 points1 point ago

Kids For Karma, the new charity

[–]rdelamora1 -1 points0 points ago

Just go to tumblr and see the millions of reposts.

[–]Zul_rage_mon -2 points-1 points ago

repost fuck you.

[–]A_Giant_midget -1 points0 points ago

[–]im-the-boss -3 points-2 points ago

"Hey dad I dressed up as a middle aged sex offender!"