I hereby reject Jesus Christ and accept Barack Hussein Obama as my personal lord and savior.

vater_orlaag · 2012-09-26T21:22:10+00:00

I'm confused. When people are trying to slander Obama, why do they always use his full name? Are they actually trying to draw some kind of reference to Saddam Hussein?

catechizer · 2012-09-26T19:08:09+00:00

If that doesn't violate the tax code for non-profit status, I don't know what does...

neonblue120 · 2012-09-26T20:33:21+00:00

That's not fair... one of those people is real.

TheLastPureOne · 2012-09-26T20:59:57+00:00

At least we know Barack exists. That's something.

sdbear · 2012-09-26T20:44:35+00:00

So, what we have here is a Christian saying that another Christian is evil and that all Christians should vote for a guy who believes that all non-Mormon Christian churches are an abomination in the eyes of God (who stands six feet high and lives on a planet that orbits a star named Kolob). Yep, makes perfect sense.

rhymes_with_truck · 2012-09-26T19:00:08+00:00

False dichotomy. They forgot Satan.

TheWhyteMaN · 2012-09-26T21:12:36+00:00

To think someone actually took time out of their life to conceive and execute this idea, is absolutely hysterical. And utterly fucking sad.

TheRealLeet · 2012-09-26T20:21:29+00:00

Why do Americans think that Obama is the devil?

keeblur · 2012-09-26T22:03:42+00:00

Where did you get this? Aren't Churches not supposed to take political stances, although I know most do anyway, but this is pretty blatant, as well as in print.

wojovox · 2012-09-26T21:46:58+00:00

And this is when religion becomes useful for those in power.

fervoli · 2012-09-26T21:26:48+00:00

No representation without taxation.

NeonDeathtrap · 2012-09-26T21:39:42+00:00

WHOA! CHECKMATE LIBERALS! YEEHAW! NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I WORSHIP AT THE ALTER OF RONALD MCDONALD AND SELL MY SOUL TO WILFORD BRIMLEY FOR CHEAP DIABEETUS TESTING EQUIPMENT!!! KPOW! KPOW!

Sorry about that.. this is how I imagine the person who made these clearly constitutional voting ballots must be like.

Were these ballots in circulation with Al Gore's name in Florida back in 2000, by any chance?

Xerazal · 2012-09-26T22:25:50+00:00

Lol people are stupid.. I like how right wing republicans are acting like Obama is the anti-Christ and saying "god will hate you if you vote Obama." they're using religion as it was meant to be used, as a tool to instill fear on the people and make sure they don't question anything. Just accept the ruler and what he says because like they say, god would hate you unless this guy was in office.

SucksAtFormatting · 2012-09-27T02:37:24+00:00

May Obama, great son of the prokaryotes, crush all oppression under his mighty thumb. May ye burn churches to the ground and sacrifice Christians to appease the spirit of Charles Darwin. May ye harvest the blood of aborted fetuses on the day of celebration. Amen.

~2 Barack 1:31

Opium_War_victim · 2012-09-26T19:10:01+00:00

Didn't their God said the same thing about Mormons?

Sir_Narwhal · 2012-09-26T22:50:27+00:00

Ima check number two. Obama is the boss.

ItsPronouncedTAYpas · 2012-09-27T00:11:25+00:00

Obama just wants to be president, he's not running for Jesus.

Punkwasher · 2012-09-26T20:45:57+00:00

Right, Christians, the world is a battlefield in the epic universe spanning conflict between the devil and god and you are the only people prepared for the fight.

Right!

Sure!

Of course!

Why not?

I like to feel important, too, but soon I realized that the universe does not revolve around me... like when I was... 15?

collinc2343 · 2012-09-26T19:02:37+00:00

Shit, I just figured out this is a repost. Well, in case you haven't seen it I'm going to leave it up.

EDIT: Well, I got more karma for this than the original did. I would have to call that a great success.

LeetroyJnkns · 2012-09-26T19:33:10+00:00

Fuck that. I'm an atheist Libertarian.

Laboii · 2012-09-26T20:13:02+00:00

My name can't be found in the book of life (I think (didn't read lol)), does that mean I'll be thrown into the lake of fire? :( this makes me a sad panda

poleethman · 2012-09-26T21:37:11+00:00

Couldn't the same be said about Romney/Bush/Reagan? I bet you won't see these made up when their guy is in office.

LS_DJ · 2012-09-26T22:15:58+00:00

None of the above?

benjetta96 · 2012-09-26T23:14:07+00:00

Note: Not all Atheists are Democrats.

ConnerVonDoom · 2012-09-26T23:34:35+00:00

What the fuck is wrong with whoever wrote that?!

jeffdogg6292 · 2012-09-27T01:06:57+00:00

it has occurred to me that the more i see things on r/atheism and listen to atheist news the more a lose the will to live. i used to be an innocent agnostic thinking that religion was the greatest thing in the world. but there is only so much of this type of shit one can take.

harabanaz · 2012-09-26T19:22:23+00:00

Paul's Letter to the Romans, 13:1-3.

Lt_Ziggella_Stardust · 2012-09-26T22:29:16+00:00

where did you get that one? I collect those.

dedliyeti · 2012-09-26T22:32:30+00:00

Only a Christian deals in absolutes.

larg3-p3nis · 2012-09-26T22:34:48+00:00

This type of intentional stupidity should be considered for the Guinness book of world records.

otac0n · 2012-09-26T22:51:01+00:00

Jesus: Savior from hell.

toasty888 · 2012-09-26T22:52:40+00:00

my mind just 'sploded on how stupid that flyer is....

Organs · 2012-09-26T23:23:58+00:00

Mine is Bruce Campbell.

KingChronos · 2012-09-26T23:32:27+00:00

Its funny because worshipers of the state are no better than worshipers of god.

Bbionicjive · 2012-09-26T23:39:49+00:00

Oh god both options are bad!

toomuchblood · 2012-09-26T23:43:37+00:00

I'm laughing because this is something my fundie aunt would bring to me, worrying about my soul.

Lots42 · 2012-09-26T23:43:40+00:00

Is this for real?

greekfreak15 · 2012-09-26T23:46:54+00:00

on a side note i approve of the shorts

Mrock09 · 2012-09-27T00:04:03+00:00

I am an atheist and this offends me

apullin · 2012-09-27T00:06:23+00:00

That's called a "False Dilemma".

sean72b · 2012-09-27T00:08:38+00:00

Fuck the police!

Painwalker · 2012-09-27T00:23:10+00:00

Does it even cross this person's mind that you don't have to worship someone to support them? Geez. HE'S JUST A FRICKEN PRESIDENT.

catdoctor · 2012-09-27T00:26:39+00:00

Easiest quiz of the day.

eromitlab · 2012-09-27T00:36:35+00:00

There's clearly enough space for a write-in candidate. I'm going with "fuck you and the horse you rode in on."

General_MacArthur · 2012-09-27T00:39:48+00:00

As a religious person I am sorry and ashamed that this happened.

jenkinsear · 2012-09-27T00:51:28+00:00

[x] none of the above

NoMeowMrNiceGuy · 2012-09-27T00:52:49+00:00

False dilemmas can be hilarious.

udbluehens · 2012-09-27T00:57:33+00:00

Those are the only 2 choices, you must have at least 1 lord and savior.

vaultzero · 2012-09-27T01:02:12+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/0o2SR.jpg

dadrumma · 2012-09-27T01:13:27+00:00

"for you soul"

awesome.

jsmithftw · 2012-09-27T01:19:58+00:00

This is sick. Honestly makes me sick. I dont know what else to say.

Irrelephantless · 2012-09-27T01:25:17+00:00

Dat hangnail...

wallace321 · 2012-09-27T02:02:21+00:00

w...t...f... is wrong with these people???

casfacto · 2012-09-27T02:14:16+00:00

They kind of back you in a corner there. I guess I take Barack, but just because he's real.

Rational_Hal · 2012-09-27T02:23:51+00:00

Despite the warning I would go ahead and check both boxes, just to be safe.

whiterabbits1 · 2012-09-27T02:24:41+00:00

A perfect example of the "either-or" fallacy.... Public speaking class anyone?

RobeAir · 2012-09-27T02:35:27+00:00

Disgusting! Just disgusting! Get this man some cuticle oil!

FireReadyAim · 2012-09-27T02:40:02+00:00

I wasn't even going to vote for Obama, but if those are my choices...

kindahotntheserhinos · 2012-09-27T02:46:14+00:00

this is so fucked up.

c3r3alkillr · 2012-09-27T02:48:29+00:00

I don't get what that bible verse is supposed to do with the author's point.

Whiskey_Straight · 2012-09-27T02:59:21+00:00

But what if I dislike them both equally?

[deleted] · 2012-09-27T03:01:00+00:00

As much as I like the whole 'freedom of speech' thing, I almost wish there were some sort of organization that was responsible for pointing out errors in thinking, e.g. this false dichotomy. That being said, I wouldn't trust anyone to conduct said organization's activities.

fishyguy13 · 2012-09-27T03:01:28+00:00

There are two types of religious people 1: extremists like that 2: people who mind there own business.

knockinbootz27 · 2012-09-27T03:05:46+00:00

I understand the joke, but noone should ever accept another man as his personal lord and savior anymore than one would accept a mans idea as his personal lord and savior. I think this is something becoming all to prevalent in reality.

itsnotmeokay · 2012-09-27T03:05:51+00:00

I much prefer this option, thank you very much.

reemiip · 2012-09-27T03:11:05+00:00

priceless. anyone taking that seriously should be denied political involvement

dearbabyjesus · 2012-09-27T03:11:15+00:00

They do not speak for me

LJRich1971 · 2012-09-27T03:14:47+00:00

Well, considering I can SEE Obama.......

tick box

ytsejam6891 · 2012-09-27T03:19:55+00:00

Dude, that hangnail looks infected...

LeonChestnut · 2012-09-27T03:23:42+00:00

At least they gave you a choice.

Fathellcatbbq · 2012-09-27T03:26:07+00:00

Well Obama won't damn me to eternal punishment, ban me from eating shellfish, or tell me to kill my son, soooo.....

bogan · 2012-09-27T03:26:47+00:00

The consequences of trusting Barack Obama for your greatest needs are that God Almighty Himself will reject you, just as you have rejected Him.

Well, at least it is not as bad as what was said about Thomas Jefferson during the 1800 election. His deist beliefs were attacked and it was said he "writes aghast the truths of God's words; who makes not even a profession of Christianity; who is without Sabbaths; without the sanctuary, and without so much as a decent external respect for the faith and worship of Christians."

And what would be the fate of the nation if he won the election? One newspaper warned readers:

"Murder, robbery, rape, adultery, and incest will be openly taught and practiced, the air will be rent with the cries of the distressed, the soil will be soaked with blood, and the nation black with crimes.

Reference: American President A Reference Resource

comrade_leviathan · 2012-09-27T03:31:32+00:00

I wish there were a hell for the assholes that create shit like this.

subtype · 2012-09-27T03:33:29+00:00

Jesus Christ is a savior from hell??? Scary!

boitch · 2012-09-27T03:35:06+00:00

For a second I thought this was r/wtf.

amolad · 2012-09-27T03:35:55+00:00

The thing that is BY FAR the most disgusting about this is that these uneducated, ignorant bigots are trying to use God/the bible/Jesus as some kind of justification or authentication of nothing more than their own vile RACISM.

Because that's all this is.

Did these same people reject Bill Clinton like this?

mctowelie · 2012-09-27T03:39:22+00:00

Love this false dichotomy. Either you pray to Jesus or you pray to Obama. Not much middle ground for any of the other deities, like Odin or Joe Pesci.

just_a_lurkin · 2012-09-27T03:41:40+00:00

What the ever loving mother of fuck!? At least Obama is real...

thousandbears · 2012-09-27T03:48:12+00:00

Whichever church handed you that (if it was a church and not some crazy on the street), then they should have their tax exempt status revoked. Any attempt of political swaying in a place of worship that can be founded automatically revokes their tax-status.

Edit: oops, someone else already mentioned that.

retrobuddha · 2012-09-27T03:51:21+00:00

Where did you get this I want One.

Craminit · 2012-09-27T03:52:28+00:00

i like the " Warning! Choose only ONE!" like there is an actual consequence

tritonx · 2012-09-27T03:56:05+00:00

This has to be a joke?

America can't be that tard?

OnTheBloc · 2012-09-27T03:58:51+00:00

I hereby reject Jesus Christ and accept Barack Hussein Obama as my personal lord and savior.

Farscape29 · 2012-09-27T04:00:41+00:00

That just doesn't even make any sense. It seems like for every year we move forward, some of us Americans seem to move intellectually backward 5 years.

That's just depressing.

PixelWrangler · 2012-09-27T04:07:12+00:00

This is what is referred to as the logical fallacy of the false dichotomy. Nonetheless, I choose Obama.

Cosmic_Spud · 2012-09-27T04:08:04+00:00

None of the above. I will add however that this post reveals a commonly accepted paradigm. Nobody is allowed to rule themselves. They must either worship at the alter of some imaginary being or at the alter of the state/society.

temujin1234 · 2012-09-27T04:19:45+00:00

It's funny that so many fundamentalist Christians identify more with Romney than Obama.

MiSTx93 · 2012-09-27T04:20:36+00:00

These people make Christians look bad, we aren't all like that. I hate extremist Christians.

LemonJH · 2012-09-27T04:21:02+00:00

Vote for Obama and be casts into a Lake Of Fire...

wow that could really hurt his campaign

harky · 2012-09-27T04:22:42+00:00

They have a point. The one thing you can say has caused more destruction than religion is nationalism. At least nationalism is some form or another, call it patriotism, call it tribal affiliation, call it what you will. In that there is no doubt. Of course they're creating a false dilemma, but hey, it's a fair point. Yes, if you accept Obama as your lord and master it is as bad as accepting Jesus in the same manner. It seems a fair comparison. They just left off all the options involving sharing similar views without all the worship and other shenanigans. You know, the ones most people identify with...

goletaal · 2012-09-27T04:23:48+00:00

Option 2! Option 2!

fluugenzinsky · 2012-09-27T04:29:45+00:00

The amount of crazy is just... it's impressive.

Anticipator1234 · 2012-09-27T04:31:48+00:00

Christian and racist? I'm shocked.

QuickRetort · 2012-09-27T04:36:02+00:00

OMG@@@!@!!!!! MITT ROMNEY IS JESUS CHRIST!!!!! All hail the second coming!!!

AhChooooooooo. . . . . .

phillip88 · 2012-09-27T04:40:31+00:00

I'm not aware that the bible mentioned Obama in any of its scriptures, or any associating of the president with any evil entity.

altanic · 2012-09-27T04:44:12+00:00

desperation? racism? (maybe some of both?)

butzsecs · 2012-09-27T04:49:37+00:00

Oh Christians. Thank you for handing out pamphlets showing just how bat shit crazy you are so that those who didn't already know can avoid you as well.

TheMediumPanda · 2012-09-27T04:50:32+00:00

The crappy grammar in the first option confused me. By capitalizing Savior in 'Jesus Christ my Personal Lord and Savior they effectively join them together, leaving the rest of us wondering why Jesus is coming 'from hell'.

beliefsarerelative · 2012-09-27T04:52:28+00:00

I choose both! What're you gonna do about it, huh? Ahahahahahaha!

Fisheswithfeet · 2012-09-27T04:54:35+00:00

Is this a joke?

zombiesatemylife · 2012-09-27T04:56:17+00:00

Both are terrible, terrible choices.

krokee64 · 2012-09-27T05:02:11+00:00

Didn't see the subreddit at first, thought this was in /r/WTF for a second. It would have fit.

cashinc · 2012-09-27T05:05:04+00:00

What tax free organization is distributing these? This would be a violation that could cost them their tax free status.

SubtleMockery · 2012-09-27T05:15:15+00:00

False dichotomy.

agriff1 · 2012-09-27T05:21:34+00:00

At first I thought this was r/Circlejerk

KIFulgore · 2012-09-27T05:23:02+00:00

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Gelsamel · 2012-09-27T05:29:02+00:00

What happens if I choose both?

WizardCap · 2012-09-27T05:33:37+00:00

Too late, I already accepted Batman.

GaProgMan · 2012-09-27T05:33:43+00:00

Reading that bible quote, my brain inserted some words. I originally thought that it read:

And those who shall be found, without the should for getting down, must stand and face the hounds of hell, and rot inside a corpse's shell.

Didn't help the argument make any sense, though.

ahuimanu · 2012-09-27T05:34:56+00:00

Jeebus

zach1740 · 2012-09-27T05:48:31+00:00

And when supper was ended, he took his ego and spread it amongst all his disciples and said "if you have a business, that, you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen." The word of the lord. Praise to you lord Barack Obama, king of chicagoites.

ezbeefy · 2012-09-27T05:54:41+00:00

Every time I think Americans have fallen as far as they can, we somehow always hit a new low

Drinkallthebeers · 2012-09-27T05:57:08+00:00

As a lifelong Christian I have to say that 99% of my fellow Christians would think this is insane as I do. Why do redditors insist on making it seem like the radical minority of any group makes up the whole?

Hello-Sweetie · 2012-09-27T05:59:38+00:00

I HAVE ONE OF THESE! When I waited tables in south G.A I collected the crazier pamphlets, this is one of my favorites .

ed_eddit · 2012-09-27T06:04:11+00:00

So disgusting.

StumpedMan · 2012-09-27T06:08:06+00:00

you gotta stop biting your nails, son.

gj07 · 2012-09-27T06:15:43+00:00

Are these the new ballots in North Carolina?

kogashuko · 2012-09-27T06:25:31+00:00

Easiest decision I've made all day.

PixelBrine · 2012-09-27T06:32:58+00:00

Lets see, Barack Obama wants to see people receive medical treatment when sick, aid when poor, food when hungry, and help when old. Then, by making an offering to him (your vote). He actually goes around trying to make those things happen. ........Seems more effective than the Jesus route. That guy took off over 2000 years ago and we sit around like unwanted bastard children waiting for something to happen. "He said he'd be back.....yep, any day now"

iodian · 2012-09-27T06:38:32+00:00

Seems to me that if you choose option A, you are free to think whatever you want about Obama.


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