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all 147 comments

[–]Dopppleganger 186 points187 points ago

That place would be awful to clean...

[–]BigWheeze 92 points93 points ago

semen everywhere

[–]hamiltonismint 132 points133 points ago

So it's really popular with sailors right?

[–]pickledparsnip 22 points23 points ago

terrible, just terrible

0/10

[–]hamiltonismint 137 points138 points ago

:'(

[–]superdooperuberpoopr 58 points59 points ago

Dude, his frownie face has more up votes than your comment.

[–]Poseidon-SS 13 points14 points ago

Well to be fair it is a crying frowny face.

[–]sans_matty 36 points37 points ago

He isn't crying, that's a prison tat.

[–]tjy18 8 points9 points ago

I'm never going to be able to take that face seriously again. Thank you.

[–]GsusIsChord 1 point2 points ago

What, so people with prison tats don't have feelings?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]p13t3rm 0 points1 point ago

Do you know where I can find any sailors?

[–]hamiltonismint 2 points3 points ago

In boats.

[–]ubsr1024 3 points4 points ago

[–]Charana 27 points28 points ago

You are assuming they do... very optimistic of you. Why do you think they only let you in after they have turned the lights back down?

[–]skyman724 7 points8 points ago

ರ_ರ

[–]Wonderman09 16 points17 points ago

Did... Did you blind him so he couldn't give the look of disapproval? You sonofabitch.

[–]Cyberslasher 0 points1 point ago

heh... heh... yeah, the blinding was done by him.. heh.

[–]slickestwood 65 points66 points ago

Those pesky armrests always did make getting mid-movie handjobs a bother.

[–]Rudy69 41 points42 points ago

You need a better girl, mid-movie blowjobs is where it's at

[–]Chefanarchy 29 points30 points ago

Please, mid-movie sex is where its really at.

[–]Budddda 46 points47 points ago

Mid-movies orgies... so you just don't have to worry about everyone watching.

[–]Rudy69 31 points32 points ago

Until you realize forever alone guy is in the corner watching

[–]M374llic4 30 points31 points ago

Until you realize forever alone guy is in the corner fapping

FTFY

[–]The_Real_Santa_Claus 15 points16 points ago

Pee-Wee?

[–]knightofmars 1 point2 points ago

You expect us to go to adult films and not touch ourselves?!

[–]blackaddermrbean 0 points1 point ago

Have him join in on the love train!!

[–]jcroucher56 1 point2 points ago

Wait, there's actually movies playing?

[–]stabsthedrama -2 points-1 points ago

I always liked the mid-movie Alaskan Dildo.

Just took a little preparation on my part (no girls would ever take shits large enough to get any real enjoyment out of the final product)

[–]come_on_seth 2 points3 points ago

why is this a thing?

[–]fawker 2 points3 points ago

because if it wasn't, someone would find it necessary to invent it

[–]come_on_seth 0 points1 point ago

and somebody would feel compelled to ask why is this a thing...deja vu all over again

[–]IrishManStain 3 points4 points ago

Gotta love getting some movie theater dome.

[–]sans_matty 3 points4 points ago

No handjob is EVER a bother.

[–]fawker 1 point2 points ago

too bad yours don't have the pivot that lets them swing up

the trick is to pick out a pair of seats that already has them up, if it's a first date, one step closer

[–]Swollendeathray 87 points88 points ago

We have a theater called Cinetopia here in Oregon. They have a parlor room that has nice loveseats. Best part? 21+ only so NO. FUCKING. CHILDREN.

[–]Cocomaan 28 points29 points ago

be still my beating heart

[–]claxtonmcgee 91 points92 points ago

fucking children shouldn't be allowed in any theatre

[–]Fabreeze63 70 points71 points ago

Yeah, I think you're right. That should be done in the privacy of your own home.

[–]puterTDI 55 points56 points ago

No one likes to listen to a kid cry at the theater.

[–]alrightandrew 12 points13 points ago

I think that was cleverer than you are getting credit for

[–]puterTDI 8 points9 points ago

I was wondering if people would get it. Not everyone is as bad a person as me.

[–]Imfuckinpicasso -1 points0 points ago

One might call it a work of art. I'm not proud of that but I only turned from lurker to insider just to give puterTDI his credit...and ALRIGHTANDREW don't you think you've said enough

[–]claxtonmcgee 1 point2 points ago

right, have some damn courtesy people.

[–]giggity_giggity 1 point2 points ago

... In the basement. With the door locked.

[–]GunStinger 1 point2 points ago

Or in the back-room of a church.

[–]SatinHandyWipe 0 points1 point ago

the back-room of a church is made for kids.

[–]stabsthedrama 4 points5 points ago

I don't think I've ever had a single problem with young children being at the movies. If anything it's awesome to see/hear how much they love the movie. Even crying babies have never bothered me, the parents are always extremely quick to remove them from the theater for as long as they had to.

Teenagers tho....holy fuck.... then again I was a piece of shit teenager too even at the movies, so it's probably karma.

[–]erikgil 1 point2 points ago

Teenagers are birth control for everyone older.

[–]danbronson 0 points1 point ago

Fucking children shouldn't be allowed in a- ...dammit!

[–]SatinHandyWipe 1 point2 points ago

I don't think children should be allowed in public. Period. They are just loud and create messes.

[–]LaxeCas 10 points11 points ago

is it like this? that would be perfect theater

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/movie_theater_layout

[–]rjhelms 2 points3 points ago

I need to find a situation where I can legitimately yell "Into the dome, motherfucker" at someone. Too good a line to pass up, but I am seldom around domes.

[–]Nesman64 4 points5 points ago

You mean I don't have to listen to babies cry during my late-night slasher flick?

[–]Swollendeathray 4 points5 points ago

I saw someone bring what looked like a toddler to a late night showing of 300...

[–]Nesman64 5 points6 points ago

My toddler has started saying "bye bye" just before the Backyardigans do at the end of the episode. I guess that means no more True Blood while she's up.

[–]sgtpppr 4 points5 points ago

We have a cinepolis here in San Diego and it is awesome as well, but damn, the ticket prices get nice and steep if you want those nice leather recliners. They have call buttons that bring a waiter for food/drink service and it's 21+. They are like $23/ticket.

[–]Swollendeathray 0 points1 point ago

Wow, that is way more then we pay here. Adult parlor room is $10.50- $15.50 depending on the time.

[–]sgtpppr 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, it's a swanky place. They have an incredible lounge and fancy food. The one I go to is located in a very wealthy area, so it feels like walking into the Four Seasons. It's somewhere you go to impress a date or take your wife for a special occasion...not something I would do weekly.

[–]Swollendeathray 1 point2 points ago

Sounds nice, I figure if your going to spend the time and money to go see a movie in a theater I should be getting a better experience then at home on the couch.

[–]Calypsee 0 points1 point ago

Seriously? It's $10.50 for a regular movie, and $13.50 in 3D here.

I would love a comfy theatre though. I've been to a movie theatre where the arm rests flip up and it was decent at making cuddling easier to do.

[–]jellybacon 0 points1 point ago

they all flip up here

[–]themostclevername 1 point2 points ago

Whoa. We have one in Charlotte, NC that's like, $13 per person, but you can get full meals and a full bar selection and that stuff is expensive.

[–]LivingInAGhostTown 0 points1 point ago

Try going to Gold Class in Australia and pay $50 per ticket. Crazy. And totally worth it if the movie is good.

[–]sgtpppr 1 point2 points ago

Plus the $1000 plane ride from the US.

[–]Happypants 0 points1 point ago

Really, given that a movie for two with some popcorn and sodas will cost you about $30-$35 in my area that doesn't seem that ridiculous for the service you get. Plus, I'd pay more than that for the theater being 21+ all by itself.

[–]sgtpppr 1 point2 points ago

Well, two tickets, popcorn and drinks would be around $100.

[–]walruskingmike 2 points3 points ago

I just might be moving to Oregon, now.

[–]xblackdog 2 points3 points ago

As another Oregonian I can confirm what he said is true, and that though it's $1-2 more than any other theater, its smallest theater is like first class at any Regal.

[–]invaderkristin 1 point2 points ago

Don't forget you can drink while you watch.

[–]swordinthesound -1 points0 points ago

If you have a problem with children at your movie, your going to the wrong movies, and at the wrong times.

[–]AllMightyGuy 34 points35 points ago

And you thought the floors were sticky in regular theaters.

[–]knightofmars 1 point2 points ago

That ain't spilt soda.

[–]xmod2 43 points44 points ago

This Valentine's Day, nothing says "I love you" like the gift of bed bugs.

[–]LessLikeYou 10 points11 points ago

Don't forget scabies.

[–]Savannahbobanna1 1 point2 points ago

I had this when I was little, but I forgot the name of it. While my uncle was babysitting me I convinced him I had something called the Meeps, because that's what I thought it was called. After frantic googling he called my mom asking her about the Meeps... there's no such thing.

[–]mdguy429 7 points8 points ago

Eh, you can probably get bed bugs at any movie theater.

[–]sheambulance 3 points4 points ago

and airline seat cushion.

[–]Thegivingtreehugger 1 point2 points ago

Oh god! I'm never sitting down in public again. Thanks!

[–]bamyo 17 points18 points ago

[–]karlibear 6 points7 points ago

For the record, your post is way better than this one.

[–]breannabalaam 14 points15 points ago

There's a chain of theaters called iPics and they have love seats in their "VIP" section. There are a few single seats, but once they are sold out you have to purchase your tickets with someone to sit in the VIP. In other words, they won't let you sit in one of the love seats alone.

[–]Strong__Belwas 3 points4 points ago

iPic is pretty dope though.

[–]breannabalaam 1 point2 points ago

Oh definitely!

[–]shalaby 1 point2 points ago

Fuck man, California has everything.

[–]breannabalaam 2 points3 points ago

I live in Wisconsin, and there's one near Milwaukee.

There's actually 10 locations around the country.

[–]C4l2LY 2 points3 points ago

BAYSHORE!

[–]GameDev11 0 points1 point ago

WHAT

WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS IN GLENDALE

[–]breannabalaam 0 points1 point ago

It's at Bayshore, in the indoor part of the mall :)

You have to go upstairs, but if you're under 21 you can't see any movies starting after 7 or 7:30 (I can't remember).

[–]Saint_of_Catrumbus 1 point2 points ago

At this point in my life, I just assume if it's something that seems fun, interesting, cool, or amazing (or honestly, in any way good) - it exists somewhere else.

PA is an awful state to be in.

[–]Fabreeze63 0 points1 point ago

they won't let you sit in one of the love seats alone.

What if you are really fat and can't fit in one of the single seats?

[–]MakesTooMuchSense 0 points1 point ago

What if you buy two tickets?

[–]breannabalaam 0 points1 point ago

If you want to spend like $32 on a movie be my guest...

[–]DrDragun 11 points12 points ago

262 x 165 pixels. Its shit like this that keeps you alone OP.

[–]brixmufn 3 points4 points ago

She told me size didn't matter... :'(

[–]Burnedafterreading 23 points24 points ago

What is this? A movie theater for ants?

[–]tygamer15 10 points11 points ago

I feel like it should be at least...3 times bigger than this

[–]hthu 2 points3 points ago

ant couples

[–]mongolito 4 points5 points ago

there's one similar in pasadena california. tickets!. they serve wine and have a club-like lobby. They bring you pillows and blankets, if you like. You can even order a full meal and drinks during a movie....nope cant order a bj

[–]teddydare 3 points4 points ago

This place is perfect for me. I dont have a girlfriend, im just too fat for regular movie theater chairs.

[–]Marshyeti 0 points1 point ago

there might be a correlation

[–]apullin 3 points4 points ago

you're a meanie

[–]Marshyeti 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry, I'm a fellow person of size if that makes a difference

[–]Anotherdamnclone 6 points7 points ago

Out of lets say Sheer curiosity where is this and how did you did u find it

[–]Anotherdamnclone 3 points4 points ago

Damn well its still cool

[–]mdubc 6 points7 points ago

The Inwood Theater in Dallas, Tx does something similar - http://lovesacdallas.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/what-to-do-in-dallas-this-weekend/

Lovesac couches and bean bag chairs :D

[–]Fabreeze63 0 points1 point ago

:O Dallas native here. I had no idea this existed! Gonna try to check it out soon. :)

[–]Cma1234 1 point2 points ago

Took my engagement pictures in front of that place then saw a movie. Nice place.

[–]holysocks 3 points4 points ago

I guess Thailand or Malaysia, but theaters in Asia/SE Asia all have similar features.

[–]Thewhitemexicangirl 1 point2 points ago

Are there any of these in the U.S.?

[–]Horny_Troll 8 points9 points ago

maybe when the US become a first world country

[–]Berne9 1 point2 points ago

One in south Florida, It's called "Ipic movie theater"

[–]roque72 2 points3 points ago

There's one in Pasadena, Calif. too. I bought two tickets to a Russel Brand movie, then my date flaked. So I basically paid $65 to watch a shitty movie at a couples theater completely alone. I am the king of Forever Alone

[–]xblackdog 1 point2 points ago

Cinetopia in Oregon/Washington has similar lounges.

[–]somethinginsideme 2 points3 points ago

There was/is a cinema in Byron Bay, Queensland NSW, Australia that had something like that. But it wasn't specifically for couples and i dont think it was tiered like that. Basically, everyone just laid on the floor on animal skin rugs and it had these enormous pillows that everyone laid their heads on. I think everything was cow-print.

I am trying to find the name of the place but I am not having any luck.

EDIT: it is called Byron Bay Lounge Cinema and/or Pighouse Flicks Lounge Cinema and here are some pictures Lounge Cinema 1 - Lounge Cinema 2 - Lounge Cinema 3

[–]presdick 1 point2 points ago

FYI: Byron Bay is in New South Wales.

[–]somethinginsideme 0 points1 point ago

My bad. Thanks for the correction!

[–]casonthemason 2 points3 points ago

I don't think you made the picture small enough...

[–]Marshyeti 0 points1 point ago

taxi driver is always relevant

[–]kbennett14580 1 point2 points ago

I thought they were just giant comfy chairs...

[–]m1k3chek 1 point2 points ago

don't bring a black light

[–]QuaereVerumm 1 point2 points ago

Hell, I'd go there by myself and lay out on one of those.

[–]jstew06 0 points1 point ago

Blechh.

[–]shieldsnotswords3112 0 points1 point ago

Where is this?

[–]ForgotMyself 1 point2 points ago

Gross, I would not want to sit in those seats.

[–]okan931 0 points1 point ago

2 seat fatman aproves.

[–]redmetal64 1 point2 points ago

Can't find any in Houston, Texas. :(

[–]gingerzuela 0 points1 point ago

HOUSTON NEEDS ONE!

[–]twiztedxtreme 1 point2 points ago

It wouldn't last. No one would be able to afford it.

[–]luvmuppet 0 points1 point ago

EVERYWHERE needs one.

[–]Mass_Hole 1 point2 points ago

We have a few locations called "Chunkys" If the movie is not rated R, it's kid infested. Awesome reclining seats, food, beer, etc. Seats move around too. Love it.

http://i.imgur.com/qBH1f.jpg

[–]MostlyUselessFacts 0 points1 point ago

All I thought was "wow, I could have one of those couches all to myself?"

I'm not doing this right, am I.

[–]okfornothing 0 points1 point ago

BYOS? Bring your own sheets? Sounds like naughty fun to us!

[–]lurkyshmirky 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one who would really love to go there just to snuggle?

[–]Stingerc -1 points0 points ago

Hell, you could make a fortune if you install those seat in middle America red states and market it as "seats for real Americans!" charging a "patriot premium". And by real Americans i mean morbidly obese.

[–]U-bot 0 points1 point ago

one of the benefits of going to a movie theatre is that I can watch a movie without my girlfriend laying on top of me using me as a pillow. I like that she has to stay in her own seat

[–]beekeeperbeard 1 point2 points ago

more like a movie theater for handjobs am i rite?

[–]apullin 0 points1 point ago

I won some tickets in a raffle to a place like this, once. I went to see a movie alone, as per usual for me, and they said that they only sell pairs of seats. So, sure enough, I produced the second ticket and told them to give me two seats.

[–]Piscator629 0 points1 point ago

I watched Alien on its opening weekend in a similar theater in Miami. Had a nice steak dinner and a pitcher of beer and you could actually smoke in it. Yes, i was alone.

[–]LivingInAGhostTown 0 points1 point ago

So where is that movie theater for couples you speak of?