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top 200 commentsshow all 262

[–]-steezy_wunda_bred- 238 points239 points ago

This must have been the clumsiest most awkward fight ever.

[–]Scoen[S] 235 points236 points ago

It really sounds that way.. This is what he said...

Well y'know. We were driving along the road when a couple of giraffes approached from either side of it. We stopped our truck and they started whacking each other with their necks. Then one fell over. If you ever get into a fight with a giraffe, go for the legs - they're rubbish.

[–]Tashre 64 points65 points ago

I'd like Bear Grylls to do an episode involving this advice.

[–]finallymadeanaccount 45 points46 points ago

Giraffes can provide shelter if you cut one open. Also, you'll never dehydrate with a bladder full of giraffe piss.

[–]BigTunaTim 44 points45 points ago

And I thought they smelled bad..................................................................... on the outside

[–]redgroupclan 5 points6 points ago

Carlos Spicyweiner here.

[–]prmaster23 15 points16 points ago

If you ever get into a fight with a giraffe, go for the legs - they're rubbish.

Maybe or maybe not.

[–]guysadick 3 points4 points ago

"God worked in her favor" ... for the kick to the head or the treatment?

[–]arrowX 5 points6 points ago

hahaha actually they can kick your head of with their legs

[–]galacticshrub 2 points3 points ago

I once witnessed an alpaca fight, and it went something like that as well.

[–]bwaxxlo 3 points4 points ago

Is your friend in Tanzania? Cause this looks like Tanzania

[–]raging_asshole 45 points46 points ago

It looks like they're shitting all over each other, too.

[–]gingerjoyce 3 points4 points ago

It looks like Africa. When I lived there we used to alway joke while driving: MMBA (miles and miles of bloody Africa)

That could be Tanzania, kenya, Somalia, Ethiopia, Sudan, etc. As long as its dry and grassy...

[–]stackering 6 points7 points ago

I think you could say that the fall... scared the shit out of it

[–]washingtonco 8 points9 points ago

[–]Consensual_Rex 7 points8 points ago

That is the most bizarre thing ive ever witnessed. Giraffes don't give a fuck!

[–]techimike 2 points3 points ago

But you gotta keep your head up, oh!

[–]loevenzaan 66 points67 points ago

warning: GIRAFFIC images

[–]Wilcows 3 points4 points ago

HO HO HO HO

[–]DrSmoke 16 points17 points ago

Man, the past was blurry.

[–]laxfanman119 6 points7 points ago

The weirdest part is that they fight standing next to each other, rather than across from each other.

[–]georgeguy007 1 point2 points ago

Its because of eye placement on the head, most likely.

[–]prmaster23 8 points9 points ago

TIL don't stand at neck distance from a full grown Giraffe.

[–]susanreneewa 6 points7 points ago

They remind me of two little kids fighting over who has crossed the center line in the back seat. Sitting next to each other quietly and then WHAM.

[–]yabacam 5 points6 points ago

they just look so.... ridiculous!

[–]MrSm1lez 295 points296 points ago

           ._ o o
           \_`-)|_
        ,""       \ 
      ,"  ## |   ಠ ಠ. 
    ," ##   ,-\__    `.
  ,"       /     `--._;)
,"     ## /

," ## /

[–]notwithstupid 164 points165 points ago

Geraffes r so dumb

[–]HiImGarrett 121 points122 points ago

fucking longe horses.

[–]REDDIT- 39 points40 points ago

[–]BeezowPooPoo_ZGopGop 13 points14 points ago

That was the greatest comment I've ever read.

[–]EternalAssasin 11 points12 points ago

I found it funny that he tried to fix the spelling.

[–]omgjosh8915 5 points6 points ago

That was the greatest thing I have ever read.

[–]PushThatFatKid 8 points9 points ago

Like this?

[–]roostercogburn 21 points22 points ago

I still like to go back and find that thread every once in a while. Just for a good laugh. It's here, for those that are curious.

[–]Poetlaurehate 12 points13 points ago

god for-fucking-bid i had commented on a post about an antteater, i would be at -1000 by now.

Genius troll.

[–]matari 2 points3 points ago

unamused giraffe is unamused

[–]Redvelvet_cupcake 162 points163 points ago

Go home, Giraffe, you're drunk.

[–]Grizeldabowski 47 points48 points ago

Damn long-horses.

[–]benchley 8 points9 points ago

C'mon, Ted, let's get you home. Whoa, buddy, keep it together!

[–]bross13 4 points5 points ago

try not to shit yourself again buddy

[–]4LostSoulsinaBowl 2 points3 points ago

You are not a car. You don't even have wheels.

[–]muthrnaturesson 18 points19 points ago

Who likes learning?

It was once believed that longer necks provided giraffes with increased access to higher food sources (tree leaves, etc.), but observation shows that giraffes tend to eat foliage at the height of their shoulders. So why the long necks? Current theory holds the behavior in the photo, called necking, is actually the primary selective pressure on the size of the giraffe neck. In a pre-mating ritual combat, they sidle up next to one another and take turns swinging at the other's legs, until one is knocked from its feet. Success in this endeavor is primarily dictated by the strength and length of the neck, as well as the weight of the skull. While these contests are often held between males to compete for breeding access to females, the overwhelming majority of these fights end in male-male coupling.

You can learn more about giraffes, and other fun subjects, at your local library.

[–]CuriousMidget 3 points4 points ago

the overshelming majority of these fights end in male-male coupling

What. The fight was over the female...

[–]alaarch 13 points14 points ago

You should remember to thank you friend on their return for selectively posting their pictures.

Sooo many times people on trips post photo after crappy photo of every little thing, trying to "keep in touch".

I so much prefer one or two "highlights" of your trip than six pictures of what you are eating for lunch, four pictures of nameless buildings, two fountains, and a blurry sunset.

[–]ImDisruptive 7 points8 points ago

So much giraffe poo

[–]corbygray528 2 points3 points ago

You might say they were beating the shit out of each other.

[–]fadedseaside 6 points7 points ago

I want to see a tag-team fight of T-Rexes (little arms) versus giraffes (long necks). It would likely be humorous and mesmerizing, if it weren't impossible.

[–]Scoen[S] 11 points12 points ago

But how would the T-Rexes tag each other? You'd end up with one very tired t-rex in the ring (assuming the giraffes kick ass) and a very frustrated other t-rex reaching to be tagged but they can't quite make it.
Though the t-rex could easily take the giraffe down with a simple swish of his or her tail.

[–]fadedseaside 6 points7 points ago

Inspector Gadget arms

[–]Scoen[S] 4 points5 points ago

This sounds like the best fight ever.

[–]ryder77 4 points5 points ago

Giraffes are so much more awkward than penguins so I don't see why it isn't Socially Awkward Giraffe.

[–]TheMightyCreep 2 points3 points ago

"Damn it Steve, you can't just lie down there"

[–]benchley 0 points1 point ago

Man, I been there. Steve, you're a dead weight.

[–]lostmygravitas 2 points3 points ago

"You did ONE Direct TV commercial when you were a kid and have been an intolerable, arrogant cunt since!"

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 6 points7 points ago

[–]marshallprs 18 points19 points ago

Giraffe fights are my favorite. They fight rpg style and let each other take turns hitting.

[–]fingers 2 points3 points ago

[–]onnoj817 3 points4 points ago

This is fucking fake. If there is one thing that discovery documentaries and Disney movies have taught me its that Africa never has cloudy days.

[–]RexBeckett 6 points7 points ago

Giraffes . . . you're drunk. Next time, we hide the kegs even higher in the tree.

[–]WannabeNatalie 10 points11 points ago

It never works! They just evolve their necks to be even longer.

[–]RexBeckett 4 points5 points ago

You're right, it's hopeless.

[–]fuckallyourself 4 points5 points ago

My friend was once described as a clumsy giraffe during sex and I would imagine this is probably what it looked like.

[–]StewieBanana 3 points4 points ago

What clumsy dolts.

[–]rushdafunk 0 points1 point ago

That giraffe got hit so hard he shat himself!!!

[–]shank_me 2 points3 points ago

I am an evil herbivore haa haaa haaaaaa

[–]Buttercup_Barantheon 1 point2 points ago

It's very likely that they are actually fighting, but they are also probably slipping on the road. Hoofed animals have a really hard time on asphalt. It's like stepping onto a ice rink.

[–]Jolteonqt 2 points3 points ago

Is that poop everywhere on the ground?

[–]Flare94 1 point2 points ago

It looks as if the giraffe shit itself.

[–]TAC0001 1 point2 points ago

Is this similar to when ducks will rape each other to assert dominance? Dolphins do it too I think.

[–]stubby43 2 points3 points ago

Was going to post this, his quote to go along with the photo is amazing:

If you ever get into a fight with a giraffe, go for the legs - they're rubbish.

[–]neworleansmane 2 points3 points ago

Good guy Facebook friend: goes on super cool vacation, doesn't constantly annoy you with new pictures every 5 minutes.

[–]whyuackinallcraycray 0 points1 point ago

r a p e get the fu- a away from me

[–]batfiend 2 points3 points ago

Go home giraffes. You are drunk.

[–]clappertrapper 10 points11 points ago

FEWER!@#()$&!)(@&#()!@&$)!&(@

[–]Roland1232 7 points8 points ago

OP's grammar is not incorrect.

[–]gawjess 3 points4 points ago

geraffes r so dumb.

EDIT: sorry, the only reason i say this is that this geraffe in this picture is trying to eat a painting. i should say that this one particular geraffe is dumb.

[–]earnest_borgnine 9 points10 points ago

I upvoted you, though I should downvote to complete the reference.

[–]gawjess 11 points12 points ago

Oh god, no. I just realised that.

[–]earnest_borgnine 10 points11 points ago

Can you please start editing your comment to complain about downvotes?

[–]DildoBagins 3 points4 points ago

long horses

[–]deathbycockolate 1 point2 points ago

GIRAFFES PLEASE STAHP. You're hurting my feelings. You look so nice. Don't be mean to each other.

[–]luigisfuckingpeach -1 points0 points ago

Come at me giro.

[–]nbinney -1 points0 points ago

Just giraffes playing Bangkok. Nothing to see here.

[–]forever-a-clone 0 points1 point ago

It just looks like laughter

[–]jobu01 -1 points0 points ago

They're just wrestling with no clothes on

[–]sellherdoorcellardor -1 points0 points ago

Gumpiest animal alive today. I bet some dino has it beat though.

[–]onken022 1 point2 points ago

Giraffe fights are often incredibly graphic. As a mating ritual, they fight by swinging their necks into each other until one dies, gives up, or leaves incredibly injured. In fact, the basis for the whole long neck thing is that it's an evolutionary trait for mating. The ones with the longer necks won more fights and were able to reproduce propagating the gene.

[–]chrometoucan 0 points1 point ago

one of my favorite animal facts is that those long necks are for mating...not eating

[–]PaddyO666 0 points1 point ago

This is not something I could see Americans adjusting to. Like, some of us go off at a stoplight, yeah? Imagine you have to stop and wait for this shit.

[–]saylorization 1 point2 points ago

Is this in Kruger? Kindof looks like it.

[–]Lying_Cake -1 points0 points ago

Twelve!

[–]1000Steps -1 points0 points ago

Icy road.

[–]cynicroute 1 point2 points ago

Gah, this makes me cringe a bit just because giraffe legs look like brittle sticks scraping on concrete. Shudder.

[–]CammysComicCorner 1 point2 points ago

"Bitch! You neckin' with my woman?!"

[–]Sp4rtaN25 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure one of them shit.

[–]fate_torn 0 points1 point ago

Giraffe: Nigel were fabulous!

[–]uploadTHIS 0 points1 point ago

Quick, you majestic fuck, roll out! The other majestic fuck is going for a majestic fucking armbar!

[–]notsonerdy 0 points1 point ago

fighting or fighting to stay awake

[–]Smgamer 0 points1 point ago

It kinda looks like the to giraffes were crossing the road then the front giraffe saw he was taking a picture and pretended to faint(for dramatic effect) and the back one caught him.

[–]markman71122 0 points1 point ago

Headlock with a pile drive!

[–]Jimmylightning 0 points1 point ago

Surprisingly similar to me walking home from the bar with my friends....

[–]killzone259 0 points1 point ago

Did...did one of them...shit itself?

[–]uniport 0 points1 point ago

i see a meme on the horizon

[–]gulasch_hanuta 0 points1 point ago

shit's going down there

[–]Arty_Yo 0 points1 point ago

You know someone's having a good holiday when they rarely upload pictures to facebook or write statuses.

[–]Seeker8833 0 points1 point ago

[–]Joalnith 0 points1 point ago

Looks like one is warming up the other's oven... if you know what I mean.

[–]tomparker 1 point2 points ago

WARNING: Giraffic Content

[–]akaJimothy 0 points1 point ago

Honey-mooning giraffe's basking in the sun.

[–]listofdemands 0 points1 point ago

"How Can She Slap???"

[–]Relax-Enjoy 1 point2 points ago

Can't we all just get a long swallow?

[–]ironiciconic 0 points1 point ago

I think you mean two giraffes stumbling home from the bar.

[–]ballzach 0 points1 point ago

OH, OH, OH, I KNOW THIS ONE! They are fighting over a nearby female.

ninja edit: They use their heads as weapons to try to topple each other.

[–]wisenheimer 0 points1 point ago

They are fighting over a Christmas Season job at Toys R Us. Damn trickle down economics!

[–]13slugger12 0 points1 point ago

What did u do, mr giraffe?

[–]andshewas_45 1 point2 points ago

Go home giraffe. You're drunk.

[–]yangar 0 points1 point ago

DOWN GOES FRAZIER!

[–]kainer211 1 point2 points ago

Those giraffes aren't fighting at all. The giraffe on the ground was recently killed in another episode of gang violence in the Savannah. Meanwhile the other giraffe discovers his murdered friend and is screaming to the heavens, "WHY GOD? WHY? I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE! YOU WILL NOT HAVE DIED IN VAIN KEVIN!!!" Also the one on the ground's name is Kevin.

[–]mitharas -1 points0 points ago

This has to be the most useless introduction ever. "OMG NOT EVEN 10 PICTURES, HE HATES US!!!".

[–]SatchelBuck 1 point2 points ago

in africa, they play QWOP with giraffes.

[–]Batrachomyomachia 0 points1 point ago

Giraffes are heartless creatures.

[–]neonraisin 0 points1 point ago

They fight so goooood

[–]Black_Apalachi 0 points1 point ago

I knew giraffe fights were fierce, but holy fuck I didn't know they ever fell over.

[–]matari 1 point2 points ago

looks more like interpretive dance

[–]krypticNexus 0 points1 point ago

It's raping time.

[–]Prisonfishy 0 points1 point ago

Is that bottom giraffe... Shitting itself in anger?

[–]PseudoEngel 1 point2 points ago

She's all neck and legs. Look at her.

[–]Brashdoodle 0 points1 point ago

Their awkwardness made this sad for me. That leg is broken isn't it?

[–]hardincl2 0 points1 point ago

how is this funny? These battles are painful

[–]US748 0 points1 point ago

Obviously necking...

[–]bananamunchies 0 points1 point ago

Awesome picture. Kind of sadass as well.

[–]cccjfs 0 points1 point ago

It's a GIRAFFIGHT!!!!

[–]_CitizenSnips_ 0 points1 point ago

haha watching giraffes doing anything is so funny they're the most awkward animals around. Trying to drink out of a pond takes like 10 minutes for them, cos they have to spread their legs and lower themselves down slowly!

[–]TheGambino 0 points1 point ago

Have you ever thought about how big a giraffe is? Those things are fucking huge! Imagine going to africa for the first time and seeing a giraffe for the first time ever, that must have been some crazy ass shit.

[–]imrealfukinfunny 0 points1 point ago

If you look closely you can see a honeybadger messing them both up.

[–]captainkrypto 0 points1 point ago

I wish my friends would post like that. Quality over quantity people!! Sheesh.

[–]abentler 0 points1 point ago

DRUNK GIRAFFE MEME COMING SOON!

[–]BraZZKnuckleZ 0 points1 point ago

Guys, it's just a Giraffe Trust Fall. They were't fighting at all.

[–]Vassago81 -1 points0 points ago

This remind me of 9/11

[–]bjbyrne 1 point2 points ago

Why can't we all just get along (neck)?

[–]megank306 0 points1 point ago

144 comments and nobody quoted Strange Wilderness??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GnQr8AZRBQ

[–]Pickman 1 point2 points ago

TIL giraffes violently shit themselves when exerting dominance.

[–]FrankVice 0 points1 point ago

Hey you're friends with someone I'm friends with. Small world.

[–]CouncilmanDougWilson 0 points1 point ago

Looks like homeboy on the left was just trying to take a dump over here on the side of the road, and then dude on the right goes, no fuck your shit!

[–]WickeD_Thrasher 0 points1 point ago

  • "How wasted Am I?"

  • "Duuuuuuuuuude!"

[–]paulwhiskie 0 points1 point ago

Breakdancing giraffes**

[–]RaindropBebop 1 point2 points ago

It's called 'necking', and it's serious giraffe business.

[–]Darklight54 -1 points0 points ago

I can't be the only one who noticed that one of them is mid-shit..

[–]missmiridoll 0 points1 point ago

looks like they and playing twister.

[–]tylerwcdurden 0 points1 point ago

Uh uh gurl! Hold my err-rangs!

[–]FuglyShmugly 1 point2 points ago

[–]bedhead_numbah3 0 points1 point ago

"C'mon! Get out of the way!"

"NO! WE MUST DANCE!"

[–]zachweeds 0 points1 point ago

Now that is the definition of "Quality Over Quantity."

[–]worker_parasite 0 points1 point ago

Jesus, what a couple of assholes.

[–]Fappin_Alone_Guy 0 points1 point ago

Ground and pound giraffe ground and pound

[–]eluisquetzalli 0 points1 point ago

BLRHGHGHRHGRHG

[–]xCrazyNinjax 0 points1 point ago

these giraffes having an epic dance off

FTFY

[–]rwhite2366 0 points1 point ago

They're just trying to reenact the lion king

[–]mjaimes 1 point2 points ago

it kinda looks like he slipped in poop

[–]Mt_Snowtokia 0 points1 point ago

Uhh this looks clumsy and hilarious, but can someone confirm, isn't their way of fighting by whipping their heads at one another using the momentum generated by having such long necks? And doesn't one often end up breaking its neck?

I swear I heard this somewhere...

[–]UpvotesOrBust 0 points1 point ago

There can be only one...

[–]crithosceleg 0 points1 point ago

That's not fighting, that's break dancing.

[–]WhiskersPete 0 points1 point ago

I hope ya buddy was acted like a man and broke it up.

[–]The_Blueprint 0 points1 point ago

Quality over quantity.

[–]porkfatrules 0 points1 point ago

This could be in wtf I said wtf when i seen it.

[–]TheSquidFromSpace 0 points1 point ago

'Less than ten'? So nine?

[–]Velith46 0 points1 point ago

Looks like we got ourselves a bro down.

[–]emjayar08 0 points1 point ago

Looks like theyre on stilts. STILTS!

[–]jayjacks 0 points1 point ago

It's a Giraffcident!

[–]Ikiltme 0 points1 point ago

Look up, waaaay up and I'll call Rusty for back up, bitch!

[–]AsthmaticNinja 0 points1 point ago

I spent a month sleeping in a tent in the middle of Uganda, I had some wild dogs fighting outside my incredibly tiny one man tent. That was a very interesting month. I got a hat from a Uganda prisoner too. It's an awesome hat.

[–]EliaTheGiraffe 0 points1 point ago

This giraffe on giraffe violence has to stop. You're better than this brothers!

[–]paco_is_paco 0 points1 point ago

So giraffe fighting consists of them just falling on each other?

[–]bigwave111 0 points1 point ago

I mean, I'm high as fuck, but isn't that kind of magically beautiful? Your friend takes a momentous journey and beholds the amazement of Africa and only takes ten pictures? What does it take for a person like that? 100% raw fuck all. They see the world, get it, tip a hat and chuckle when they walk away untouched from a burning car wreck.

Imagine, imagine for a second, how intense that fucking giraffe fight must have been for it to make the top 10? What is his 5th picture? A self shot, elbows deep in a c-section for an albino rhino?

Your friend is a fucking artist and a goddamn boss.

[–]DMV_line12 0 points1 point ago

That's how me and my gf spoon

[–]ProfessorMack 0 points1 point ago

This is a maaaaaaad cool pic though. Animals are awesome.

[–]joshuad80 0 points1 point ago

A friend is in Africa traveling. He has been there for a few weeks and has posted less than ten pictures, one of the, being these giraffes dancing.

FTFY

[–]DJWhizzy 0 points1 point ago

looks like the one got so scared it got explosive diarrhea on the road

[–]derpymcgoo 0 points1 point ago

I used to "Giraffe fight" one of my friends while drunk. It was probably more bizarre than a real giraffe fight.

[–]skytro 0 points1 point ago

They are like really tall horses with awful balance

[–]AnonymousRitz 0 points1 point ago

Giraffes fighting is no joke, it's one of the most insane things I've ever seen. No joke.

[–]thebuddhasits 0 points1 point ago

giraffes are gangsta! i mean is.. giraffes is gangsta.

[–]turdburgler42 0 points1 point ago

Maybe the giraffe was just taking a huge dump and needed some help

[–]WhalesAreNotReal 0 points1 point ago

Looks more like a trust fall

[–]navalpain 1 point2 points ago

Kinda looks like they shit everywhere.

[–]pyroriffer 0 points1 point ago

Damn, you think Detroit's bad? When I went to Africa, there were fuckin' giraffes fighting in the street.

[–]exxocet 0 points1 point ago

giraffes and tar do not mix. lions routinely hunt them in the kruger around the tar, where they slip on the road.

[–]Love_Giraffes_I_Do 1 point2 points ago

I. Love. Giraffes.

[–]Nobodyisnothere 0 points1 point ago

Oh a fight? So that's what that is...

[–]frogsickle 0 points1 point ago

Why can't they learn to just get along....neck?

[–]SUBZEROWINS 0 points1 point ago

I imagine like "baby deer on his first day on legs" kind of movement from grown giraffes... I don't know why...

[–]Yolo_McSwaggerton 0 points1 point ago

Giraffes are weird lookin'.

[–]Ska-jayjay 0 points1 point ago

Can't we all just get along?

[–]DeadWade 0 points1 point ago

All I see are limbs breaking.

[–]ZanMet 0 points1 point ago

Looks like a drug deal gone bad...

[–]Mclovin204 0 points1 point ago

Was one of them shitting before they fought cause I see a trail of shit. Like as if one of the giraffes were like "Oh no you didnt just shit in my bush! Get the fuck over here!" while the other one is still shitting in fear...

[–]cale69er 0 points1 point ago

Having a fight... or a Rape about to happen?

[–]InitiallyAnAsshole 0 points1 point ago

It really looks like the one broke its leg..