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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]NinjaCameraman 2563 points2564 points ago

Poser, it's Caviar 101 that you NEVER eat it with a metal utensil.

[–]ifatree 2310 points2311 points ago

i'm pretty sure that's what the look of disapproval from the fellow with the dreads is all about.

[–]SonVolt 449 points450 points ago

Could they have found a guy who looks more like a hippy? He looks like Tom Morello and Bob Marley raised a kid together.

[–]nofelix 227 points228 points ago

My first thought was that he looked like Ed Norton.

[–]ToiletOfDreams 380 points381 points ago

American Hippy X

[–]xid 193 points194 points ago

BITE THE JOINT, HIPPIE

[–]pejasto 34 points35 points ago

SLEEP ON THE CURB

[–]LlongSchllong 15 points16 points ago

Dat scene. Shivers me timbers.

[–]randompsyco 74 points75 points ago

Starring Dreadward Norton

[–]Araskazes 59 points60 points ago

"put your mouth on the tofu!!"

[–]InterstellarPancake 8 points9 points ago

Groove Stomp.

[–]lurked2long 9 points10 points ago

I'd watch that. Not pay to watch it, but if it was on I'd give it a look.

[–]CANCER_PUNCH 34 points35 points ago

Tom Morello's ideals may line up with this guy, but he's pretty clean shaven and dresses fairly neatly.

[–]SpartanAesthetic 39 points40 points ago

Maybe he meant Zak de la Rocha because of the dreads?

[–]sherwoodforest0123 46 points47 points ago

no he definitely meant tom morello, dreadlocks are a dominant trait so only one of the progenitors needs to have them

[–]unabiker 17 points18 points ago

I was just thinkin that he looked unemployed.

[–]AnotherClosetAtheist 588 points589 points ago

"well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothin', but, ah... you're fucked up. Ah, you eat caviar like a fag, and your shit's all retarded. What I'd do, is just like... like... you know, like, you know what I mean, like... "

[–]ELzed 43 points44 points ago

'You eat caviar like a fag' is the best thing I've heard.

[–]KindlyDrGonzo 197 points198 points ago

Which of these goes in my mouth and which one goes in my butt?

[–]erfling 250 points251 points ago

Theres that fag talk we talked about.

[–]nealski77 157 points158 points ago

Don't worry, scrote. There are plenty of 'tards out there living really kick-ass lives. My first wife was 'tarded. She's a pilot now.

[–]eviltrollwizard 19 points20 points ago

Go away I'm batin'!

[–]roundthetwist 67 points68 points ago

"Duuuuuuuude, you're a poser. It's, like, Caviar 101 that you never eat that stuff with a metal utensil, man."

[–]toomanyfuckinguserna 2 points3 points ago

well thats just like your opinion man

[–]appel 14 points15 points ago

That's Louis C.K. in disguise.

[–]NuclearCalm 998 points999 points ago

Even better, I'm pretty sure you eat it with a gold spoon because gold doesn't interfere with the taste.

[–]1_1_2_3_5_8_13_21_34 1007 points1008 points ago

Gold and mother of pearl are the traditional ones. Plastic, bone, tortoise shell, glass, and wood are other materials that people use. Metal bowls and utensils shouldn't be used because of oxidation.

[–][deleted] 1307 points1308 points ago

I use a unicorn horn. Plus it turns the sauce into pure water.

[–]Purdy14 853 points854 points ago

Pfft, filthy peasants. I use a spoon made of caviar to eat my caviar.

[–]JDMjosh 773 points774 points ago

Scoff. 'Eating' is beneath me. I hold caviar with a gloved hand and absorb it through my rigid anus.

[–]theotterofdoom 540 points541 points ago

P'shaw! I have my butler shoot my caviar directly into my urethra with a T-shirt cannon made of African blood diamonds

[–]khanfusion 245 points246 points ago

Unless your butler is the result of a thousand year breeding and genetics program, you're simply new money. Perhaps you'd like a handkerchief made of Indian linen to dab at your mouth?

[–]beaterson 242 points243 points ago

I dab mine with the Shroud of Turin

[–]amorrn 188 points189 points ago

But then what would you wipe your ass with?

[–]dma1965 50 points51 points ago

I just buy caviar, set it on fire, and use it to light 100 dollar bills, which I then use to light cigars.

[–]equeco 32 points33 points ago

Caviar from vodka fed sturgeons. For flammability.

[–]nephalem2012 42 points43 points ago

might I inquire as to how your anus became so rigid?

[–]JDMjosh 199 points200 points ago

Certainly. Every time I pay lobbyists to tell the government what to do, i tense up a little, out of joy i presume. It has become permanent.

The only relief i can find is through caviar or having my friend Mitt come over and tickle it with stock options.

[–]jovietjoe 55 points56 points ago

This thread pleases me greatly

[–]_DiscoNinja_ 133 points134 points ago

criticize his spoon if you must, but there's nothing wrong with the extension of his pinky finger. The angle is... perfect.

[–]bastian1343 89 points90 points ago

Wait, no metal, but gold is okay?

[–]usedtowork 348 points349 points ago

gold is almost completely inert

[–]eightballart 251 points252 points ago

They used to call me inert in high school.

[–]JRWM3 170 points171 points ago

Stay inert, Ponyboy.

[–]AlwaysDefenestrated 55 points56 points ago

Nothing inert can stay.

[–]noreasontopoop 29 points30 points ago

Make new friends but keep the old,

One is kind of inert and the other moreso.

[–]DrUnsleepable 41 points42 points ago

All that glitters is inert.

[–]FoodIsProblematic 356 points357 points ago

Karate Kyle:
They used to call me inert. Now they don't react to anything at all.

[–]BuckeyeBentley 10 points11 points ago

It doesn't make a bit of difference, guys, the balls are inert.

[–]omgsus 10 points11 points ago

Yes, using your hands is fine too. Pinky out, of course.

[–]Solomaxwell6 16 points17 points ago

He's saying that because gold is a metal. "No metal" and "gold is okay" are contradictory. It's pedantic, but technically it's only certain types of metal, like stainless steel, that you can't eat caviar with.

[–]Tyaedalis 17 points18 points ago

Oxidizing or toxic metals shouldn't be used. Largely inert, non-toxic metals can be used, such as gold and silver.

[–]Xpress_interest 69 points70 points ago

No toxic metals? Shit - I've been making my famous Mercury Caviar soup for years.

[–]22OBP 121 points122 points ago

Can't remember which... but one of the major ice cream producers you'd see on the shelves in the US has a flavor tester who's tongue is insured for $1 Million and only tests using a solid golden ice cream spoon. Best fuckin job ever.

Edit: http://articles.latimes.com/1991-07-22/business/fi-264_1_ice-cream

[–]Strindberg 107 points108 points ago

I think this is him: That's a ten

[–]PeteZaria 53 points54 points ago

That noise he makes while tasting is creepy.

[–]HappyHootbot 10 points11 points ago

you should hear us when we do coffee tastings

SHLUUUUUUURRRRP!

[–]giveitago 7 points8 points ago

reptillian

[–]mindlessgames 14 points15 points ago

And disgusting. Could not finish watching.

[–]Jayross 13 points14 points ago

oh come on, pussy.

[–]bigburd 27 points28 points ago

I am so glad I clicked that link.

[–]I_Like_To_Play_Cards 36 points37 points ago

Thanks smacksmacksmacksmacksmack for smacksmacksmacksmacksmack the smacksmacksmacksmacksmack clip smacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmacksmack

[–]jimstr 18 points19 points ago

That's mildly interesting..

[–]DrJWilson 13 points14 points ago

Enough for a cross post into /r/mildlyinteresting?

[–]domdest 27 points28 points ago

ITT everyone on Reddit makes the same observation about the properties of gold versus other metals.

[–]Mixed-Signals 5 points6 points ago

Yes.

[–]420bassist 20 points21 points ago

yea smoking out of metal bowls is nast.....oh we're talking about food.

[–]deubski 69 points70 points ago

Gold, mother-of-pearl, horn, glass or wood. Plastic even works however, eating caviar with plastic..

[–]mojomonkeyfish 270 points271 points ago

Who cares how you get the caviar onto the hot dog? I'll never understand some of these stupid foodie hangups.

[–]Bazing1980 282 points283 points ago

Plastic is a bad ass way to eat it. Plastic says, "this delicacy is so mundane to me I'm eating it like white trash." The fuck you vibe is awesome.

[–]I_Like_To_Play_Cards 112 points113 points ago

A KFC spork would be a nice touch.

[–]plutPWNium 58 points59 points ago

Call them organic polymer utensils, much more sophisticated

[–]trentlott 4 points5 points ago

As a polymer chemist, I had a hearty chuckle.

[–]castsnoshadows 19 points20 points ago

and all this time i thought it went on a cracker. oh what a barbarian i am.

[–]tikiporch 8 points9 points ago

What are you proposing, dipping the cracker into the jar? Barbaric, indeed.

[–]steven_wlkr 79 points80 points ago

Actually you eat it with a whale bone spoon, anything metallic is bad for the alkali...stupid plebs. #Iamthe1percent

[–]deterra 131 points132 points ago

The more endangered species that contribute to your light afternoon snacks, the more refined and genteel you become.

[–]original186 63 points64 points ago

Spoon made from the carved out pelvis bone of a baby giant panda, while sitting in a chair carved from a single block of ancient redwood, and ivory toothpicks to pick out the pieces of beluga caviar from your iridium grille?

[–]narkotikchaos 20 points21 points ago

I myself prefer a spoon hand-carved from the rib of a freshly killed giraffe. The handle must be made entirely of Italian marble with ivory inlays. And I'm just talking about the spoon I use to each cocoa puffs.

[–]GirlGirlGloryhole 23 points24 points ago

Philistine.

[–]Ijustneedonemoretry 210 points211 points ago

But that suit is awesome.

[–]Dandretti 610 points611 points ago

But he's sitting down with the button still fastened. You just don't do that.

[–]Ching_chong_parsnip 87 points88 points ago

And his tie seems to be lacking a dimple. Total poser.

[–]A_Tasty_Ham_Sandwich 11 points12 points ago

I could never get a proper dimple in my tie.

[–]Ching_chong_parsnip 34 points35 points ago

Try pinching the tie just below the knot before you make that last tightening pull, by grabbing half the tie with your index finger and your thumb (index finger in the middle of the tie and thumb from coming from the side), then while holding that grip grab the other half with your middle finger and index finger (index finger still positioned in the middle). That's what does it for me.

EDIT: Like this

[–]Goofy_fucker 5 points6 points ago

I find it has more to do with how even the innards of the knot are and also very much to do with what knot is used in the first place.

Edit: Here is a graph of some common knots for ties, my guess is that Mr sandwich was using the four in hand knot(by far my lest favorite) and that is the root of his dimple conundrum.

[–]LeonardNemoysHead 26 points27 points ago

It takes me a dozen or so tries just to get the length right. Fuck dimples.

[–]Rebelduck 161 points162 points ago

nobody cares r/malefashionadvice... nobody cares...

[–]popnlochnessmonster 258 points259 points ago

Well, it's not really a care/don't care thing. It's that it can create wrinkles, and also creates stress on a single button.

[–]TheGoomba 20 points21 points ago

This is Wear A Suit 101. How can people be disagreeing with you?

[–]boring_oneliner 88 points89 points ago

pretty sure the guy eating caviar at wall street during his break doesnt give a fuck if his maid has to iron his suit or reattach a loose butto.

[–]Milper 123 points124 points ago

I saw this as intentionally ironic- are others seeing it as a sincere show of wealth?

[–]rmc1317 39 points40 points ago

He has to play his character. And his character doesn't give a fuck about that suit, he has like a trillion of them

[–]popnlochnessmonster 45 points46 points ago

I can tell you haven't met very many ultra-wealthy people.

#lolplebeianproblems

[–]JRWM3 30 points31 points ago

Once you get a loose butto you can't fix it unless you get it surgically tightened.

[–]Stoy 10 points11 points ago

I'd agree, but it's common knowledge.

[–]nisk 13 points14 points ago

It's not fashion, it's common sense and proper manners (really)

[–]bnelson 8 points9 points ago

Most metal packaging products today have plastic lining them.

[–]tomdarch 145 points146 points ago

All sorts of problems: as mentioned, reactive metal spoon. But also, no accompaniments - blini? No Champagne? And what the hell is this dirty 99.99%er doing holding and serving the caviar himself? Is this filth so poor that he doesn't have staff for that? Disgusting "victim". Thank God Romney isn't going to waste our government's time on such worthless scum once the POTUS purchase deal is finalized in November.

[–]chucko326 10 points11 points ago

Also his shoes.

[–]bobisagirl 59 points60 points ago

*Poseur

[–]MontimusPrime 11 points12 points ago

I shouldn't have expected the top post to be anything different than don't use metal.

[–]3019605275 9 points10 points ago

maybe it's a grey plastic spoon?

[–]Spacelab 4 points5 points ago

And from the jar? Please.

It's like drinking champagne with the bottle in a paper bag

[–]a1s2d3f41234 125 points126 points ago

[–]kvsl117 88 points89 points ago

Lumpfish are actually smart and inquisitive creatures. Here's a lumpfish named Blondie from the New England Aquarium

[–]EbonicPlague 134 points135 points ago

sounds like someone was signed up for Lumpfish Facts

[–]Drhypochondriac 6 points7 points ago

This video made me happy!

[–]painis 2 points3 points ago

Doesn't look very smart. Everything it does in that video is from wiggling your finger of some food in its face and putting an obstacle in front of it. In fact in the wild I would think it would make it quite dumb?

[–]flenny 1058 points1059 points ago

Whoa, this is awesome! It's from a photoshoot that my cousin (yes really) did for Vice Magazine.

http://www.vice.com/read/american-psychos-0000069-v18n12?Contentpage=-1

It's great to see stuff like this get so many upvotes.

EDIT: My cousin was the photographer, not the model.

[–]enojy 165 points166 points ago

Dior Homme coat, suit, and clutch, Ben Sherman shirt and tie, Rockport shoes

Yeah, this guy's a poser. Pairing a ~$6000 Dior Homme ensemble with Ben Sherman and $89 Rockport loafers? Why are ALL OF THESE GUYS wearing Rockports?

[–]Rumpscallion 27 points28 points ago

Fucking rock ports.... Amirite?

[–]KnowsNotDoesHe 11 points12 points ago

First thing I noticed too. Could they have picked more poorly than Rockport?

[–]ChickenShoes 58 points59 points ago

Crocs.

[–]stafu 4 points5 points ago

You mean the guy in the $6000 suit can't get away with wearing some Rockports? COME ON!!!

[–]Jayross 1 point2 points ago

probably rockport sponsorship or whatever. that's how these things tend to work. but yeah, ugly ass shoes.

[–]jun2san 330 points331 points ago

So he really isn't a 1 percenter?

PHONY! HEY EVERYONE! THIS GUYS A BIG FAT PHONY!

[–]BackslashMonkeybombs 106 points107 points ago

AGENT PROVOCATEUR!! AGENT PROVOCATEUR!!!!

[–]webhead311 24 points25 points ago

I like that "dont be that guy" one.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

im not gonna lie that Vivienne Westwood Man suit is off the chain.

[–]AgentDaedalus 16 points17 points ago

The dude holding the "Suck my 1% dick" looks like M00t of 4chan.

[–]froston 9 points10 points ago

Ben!

[–]dont__hate 650 points651 points ago

Edward Norton looks pissed

[–]TheShittyBeatles 146 points147 points ago

Don't make the hippy angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

[–]coeckie 132 points133 points ago

Corporate Mundo goes where he pleases.

[–]Mr_Twittles 13 points14 points ago

Thank you sir, for bringing this here.

[–]GroinFro 58 points59 points ago

[–]Rumpscallion 48 points49 points ago

This was staged though? Wasn't this from VICE and their photoshoot revolving around the style of Patrick Bateman?

[–]skimsmilk 11 points12 points ago

You are correct sir. But don't tell the hivemind that.

[–]faulks 364 points365 points ago

That man has amazing bone structure.

[–]GummySue 152 points153 points ago

He sure is wearing those pants!

[–]Nesman64 53 points54 points ago

Yeah, he should be a model or something. Oh, wait..

[–]Duramax159 18 points19 points ago

Dat jawline..

[–]CoCostanza 48 points49 points ago

He has the bone structure of a crack head

[–]ZwortniK 119 points120 points ago

Crack heads are known for their amazing bone structure.

[–]SirJambaJews 41 points42 points ago

Their skulls are flawless, apart from the crack.

[–]GustavoFrings 171 points172 points ago

I want more context! Reddit mobile needs integrated tineye. Is this an occupy protest and guy in suit is scoffing at hippy bums whilst eating caviar? Or is he too protesting and being satirical?

[–]StellaMaroo 189 points190 points ago

All I could find.

the setup for a men’s fashion spread in the newest issue of Vice Magazine

[–]GustavoFrings 25 points26 points ago

Thank you kind stranger!

Brilliant idea, and nice suits.

[–]ADavies 5 points6 points ago

Wow. You know you've been co-opted when your movement is used to sell suits to the bankers.

[–]unhapztoms 94 points95 points ago

How meta. A fashion designer advertising his clothing line (or shooting for his ads at least) by placing well dressed, one-percent-esque models amidst (poor/smelly) protestors...essentially using them. Wow.

[–]bigburd 24 points25 points ago

What's so bad about that? In my opinion, it's pretty impressive - that's a bold way to go about such a social commentary.

[–]LeonardNemoysHead 23 points24 points ago

Vice fashion shoots are as much about the photography as they are the clothes. They're not just advertisements.

[–]a_taco 15 points16 points ago

yeah, it's an editorial fashion shoot, not an advertisement (from last year). i thought it was clever!

[–]mgearliosus 83 points84 points ago

Nothing wrong with striving to be wealthy.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

Vice Magazine: We sound better than we look

[–]claboogy 83 points84 points ago

No whale-bone spoon? Amateur.

[–]NonstopWindex 10 points11 points ago

Considering that jar goes for something like 7.99 at wal-mart I'm not that impressed.

[–]0replies 68 points69 points ago

Who eats JUST caviar.

[–]bananasncornbread 8 points9 points ago

I know! Caviar and spray cheese, because this is America

[–]Eat_a_Bullet 24 points25 points ago

People who have never eaten caviar before.

[–]fubes2000 99 points100 points ago

Like a boss.

No seriously, that's your boss.

Get back to work or you're fired.

[–]Browsing_From_Work 2 points3 points ago

Well, time to make a new account.

[–]Hellstruelight 102 points103 points ago

left handed guitarists freak me the fuck out

[–]HeBoughtALot 66 points67 points ago

He is the 1% that looks weird playing guitar.

[–]SHFT 12 points13 points ago

Judging on the assumption that the suit wearer is not wearing a woman's suit (men's suit buttons are always on the right for the wearer), I'm going to say that this image is reversed, and that your 'freaking the fuck out' is unnecessary.

[–]lolabuster 21 points22 points ago

Like Jimi Hendrix?

[–]TheGoomba 25 points26 points ago

Jimi Hendrix was actually abmidextrous at guitar. Originally left handed, his father forced him to restring his first guitar because he associated left handedness with the devil. Whenever his father wasn't around he'd flip it back to lefty, playing with the strings upside down. He could essentially play 4 guitar configurations.

[–]lolabuster 7 points8 points ago

I knew that. The man is awesome. He also wrote my favorite Stevie Ray Vaughn songs

[–]the_goat_boy 27 points28 points ago

Like Kurt Cobain?

[–]f5h7d 10 points11 points ago

did you know that kurt wasn't actually left-handed?

just like bleaching his hair, he did it because he thought it was cool (incesticide liner notes: "the blond one").

there are lots pictures of him writing with his right hand.... haven't seen any with his left.

...and don't write me off as some "hater"... i was a huge nirvana fan back in the 90s... and i'm actually left-handed AND i play guitar (or used to anyway). i'm sure most people will be pissed at me for saying this — it took me awhile to accept it as well (some things just aren't what they seem).

[–]ciociosan22 3 points4 points ago

A lot of people play guitar left-handed but do other things things right-handed. Guitar player in my band is like that.

[–]Bazing1980 39 points40 points ago

That is a really nice fucking suit.

[–]le-redditeur 1 point2 points ago

Well it costs six grand. It better be really fucking nice!

[–]MatthewX5000 17 points18 points ago

What, motherfucker can't enjoy himself?

[–]reneepussman 35 points36 points ago

What a douche. You aren't supposed to eat caviar with a metal spoon.

[–]Concoelacanth 3 points4 points ago

Metal spoon?

No accompaniment?

What is this horseshit? That gentleman is a fraud. A fraud, I say!

[–]bigfig 16 points17 points ago

Sorry, but a guy eating $10 lumpfish caviar while wearing DSW shoes and a $200 suit does not make the cut for inclusion in the target audience of the Robb Report.

[–]Eat_a_Bullet 13 points14 points ago

It's actually a $6300 suit that looks like a $200 suit. It doesn't help that the guy wearing it has apparently never worn a suit before in his life, and is sitting down with the coat buttoned.

[–]mattyg915 5 points6 points ago

He's so hipster the he's noticed that at an OWS rally hipsters are the mainstream, and he has adjusted accordingly.

[–]radiation360 16 points17 points ago

Caviar is a fucking garnish. At least have it served as a canapé.

[–]brickshot 37 points38 points ago

Troll Level 1%

[–]CREHNKE 3 points4 points ago

WHAT A NOOB!!!! YOU CANT EAT CAVIAR WITH A METAL SPOON!!!! YOU WILL RUIN IT!!!!!!! RICH FAIL!!

[–]ShamAbram 4 points5 points ago

Awesome.

Probably as expensive as a carob and soygrass doubleshot goodvibes eco-coffee.

[–]Typhun 12 points13 points ago

Get that classy motherfucker some grey poupon too.

[–]notsexyenough 6 points7 points ago

this is bullshit. fake rich guy. who eats caviar with a regular steel spoon.

[–]rspix000 2 points3 points ago

Two posts down from this one. Laugh away tools.

[–]thrasher1100 4 points5 points ago

That hippie is just wondering why that man is eating small shits in a tiny jar with such smug style.

[–]jradar 1 point2 points ago

disapproving hippie

[–]jayco_88 1 point2 points ago

is it just me or does that guy with the dreads kid of look like Edward Norton?

[–]snackdrag 2 points3 points ago

he needs a shave to make the costume.

[–]HakuTheGrey 1 point2 points ago

I dind´n know Edward Norton can play guitar...

[–]rdpulfer 3 points4 points ago

in the next picture, "Being beaten by a hobo with a guitar".

[–]laurenwaffles 3 points4 points ago

Classy as fuck.

[–]mutorcs 4 points5 points ago

is that shit still going on?

[–]Pudding36 104 points105 points ago

They're the same person.... How come no ones picked up on this yet.

[–]OrgasmicWalrus 132 points133 points ago

No they aren't, its a Vice magazine fashion shoot that they shot during the protest. One is a protester and the other is a fashion model.

[–]jazzrz 109 points110 points ago

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIT A FUCKING SECOND. . . .

[–]NothingsShocking 25 points26 points ago

no no, the hippie is Edward Norton

[–]Bama011 29 points30 points ago

The first rule of Occupy Wall Street is...

[–]funkmastamatt 69 points70 points ago

No showers.

[–]peteschweddy 23 points24 points ago

Or jobs...

[–]jsmith212600 14 points15 points ago

Don't forget your iPhone.

[–]skipdog172 48 points49 points ago

It doesn't look like the same person at all.

I guess I'm the only one who thinks their faces/noses look completely different.

But yeah, whatever. Keep thinking they are the same dude.

[–]Chocopops 10 points11 points ago

I agree with Skipdog172. Also, look how short the hippy guy is.

[–]Rsgort 38 points39 points ago

They're the same person.

No they aren't.

[–]twopacuafina 49 points50 points ago