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all 67 comments

[–]boondocktaints 112 points113 points ago

[–]Jllle 29 points30 points ago

Saw these a million times, still gonna read them all.

[–]e_x_i_t 35 points36 points ago

I don't know what's worse, the fact that a 14 yearold had sex for a double cheese burger, or that all 34 men probably aren't the father.

[–]GuyMumbles 8 points9 points ago

"Randy! Are you prostituting yourself for cheeseburgers again?!" I loved how he also took cupons as well.

[–]ghostface134 10 points11 points ago

alright there was a face swap on the coach and his student bride

phew! student looks normal now

edit: the video on the mac daddies makeover is hilarious http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NCNSa4ttZg

"Silky Steve" and "Magnum Johnson," two suburban white kids, start wearing jewelry and fur coats and picking up girls at Taco Bell.

[–]imperialxcereal 2 points3 points ago

I miss Jenny Jones.

[–]TmlzMiso 5 points6 points ago

The most ridiculous one here is the Obama/Biden thing. How the fuck is that even news material.

[–]doritos1347 0 points1 point ago

It's FOX... Therefore it's news material.

[–]2paradoxes 6 points7 points ago

Why is being transgendered in the bottom left?

[–]Darchangel26 2 points3 points ago

I think since it said living as a girl instead of is a girl it's a Trannsexual, also it's because of the young age.

[–]thisissamsaxton 0 points1 point ago

Today Now is a show The Onion. Any other fakes in here?

[–]boondocktaints 1 point2 points ago

Dunno... it was posted a couple of years ago... I like to think that every time it's posted someone adds another one to the bottom. A traveling post, as it were...

[–]creativepun -1 points0 points ago

"confronts fear of chickens for the first time"

how does she know she won't like them afterall?

[–]DiscordianStooge 1 point2 points ago

They should have saved time and had Gary Spivey on with the person afraid of cotton balls.

[–]boredtechguy 1 point2 points ago

I think Dwight being a proud prostitute is definitely a favorite.

[–]mistermegusta69 0 points1 point ago

man forced to eat bread

Bravery level: so

[–]Fetal 0 points1 point ago

It actually says he was forced to eat beard. Which is way more badass anyway.

[–]gtoonsr 0 points1 point ago

Second Row, Second from the right. Today Now! An Onion News Program. Sneaky bastards..

[–]xandan 1 point2 points ago

Kick a ginger day always gets me.

[–]Tylertylertyler23 0 points1 point ago

I lost my shit at "man force to eat beard"

[–]lisabadcat 0 points1 point ago

Oh Veronica, where have you been all my life?

[–]DujekR 0 points1 point ago

How did Joey come to the realisation he wanted to be a girl? wtf.

And 4 rolls of toilet paper, a week? Fuck.

[–]saulgoodmandr 1 point2 points ago

right , she might od!

[–]DrPingu76 0 points1 point ago

She probably thinks she doesn't need to wipe if she eats it first.

[–]CherryKush -4 points-3 points ago

/facepalm.

[–]Scottush 18 points19 points ago

And the award for second oldest thing on the internet goes to....

[–]kirun 7 points8 points ago

I think the second oldest thing on the Internet is a Sailor Moon fansite on Angelfire, which was accessible several years before its creation due to a temporal anomaly produced by an experiment at CERN. Tim Berners-Lee eventually had to invent the web browser in order to decode its contents.

[–]elbruce 3 points4 points ago

I'm pretty sure the second-oldest thing on the Internet is "Colin Mochrie."

[–]TribalTribesman 2 points3 points ago

I thought it was porn.

[–]Mrdanke 4 points5 points ago

That's the oldest.

[–]Leaflock 1 point2 points ago

The kid who wants to be hardcore, but his mom won't let him?

[–]KellFXX 42 points43 points ago

Post level: re

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[–]redlinezo6 3 points4 points ago

You are the worst kind of dumb.

[–]Eckus 6 points7 points ago

Repost:

Wants some of that karma.

[–]frotc914 1 point2 points ago

It's like looking at the internet from a decade ago.....because it is.

[–]FuchsiaGauge 0 points1 point ago

Jesus christ. This is beyond repost status.

[–]BDandC 2 points3 points ago

Obviously a repost but I dont even care because I love it more each time.

[–]TheGardiner 2 points3 points ago

i appreciate the subtle hilarity of this title.

[–]Gyaruson 0 points1 point ago

865 up votes. OC, two. Yay.

[–]intensenerd 2 points3 points ago

Intensenerd.

Wants a repost-free reddit.

[–]Wyliekat 0 points1 point ago

For the HORDE!

[–]zimis6 -1 points0 points ago

yes...yessss.we're.friends,you.and.i....intensenerd.

[–]Jedekai 0 points1 point ago

He would also like 2 tickets to a Dimmu Borgir concert.

[–]Liranai -1 points0 points ago

This is so old that the guy probably found that one girl on the planet!

[–]DarrenEdwards 0 points1 point ago

Well, I do...

[–]SamuraiScribe 0 points1 point ago

I have friends named Tyra and Darren who are engaged.

I wish I could upvote more.

[–]wocket5 1 point2 points ago

Skeletor's name is Darren?

[–]blueturtle00 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of GWAR.

[–]orionsbelt05 1 point2 points ago

First thing that made me laugh tonight!

[–]mirrislegend 0 points1 point ago

He's not asking for much!

[–]da1153 1 point2 points ago

It's my fucking name...

[–]DarrenEdwards 2 points3 points ago

Happens.

[–]thurmontwhat 2 points3 points ago

I know, it freaked me out too.

[–]nextlevelsolution 3 points4 points ago

Same here, spelled the same too.

[–]Stoutacus 1 point2 points ago

Me too.

[–]morrach 0 points1 point ago

Go us!

[–]dexter30 -1 points0 points ago

[–]morris309[S] 0 points1 point ago

Christ, i just saw it and found it funny. Sorry for not trawling the internet to assuring you never see the same thing twice.

[–]dexter30 0 points1 point ago

Was that an apology or are you being sarcastic, its hard to tell on the internet.

[–]RICH_LITTLE 1 point2 points ago

He's not afraid to show who he really is,... Skeletor.

[–]DarenLikesHugz -1 points0 points ago

wow... I'm famous.

[–]MMD86 -2 points-1 points ago

Who the fuck upvoted this? People with Alzheimer's?

[–]IamSparticles -4 points-3 points ago

It's a two way street, Darren.